#I mean the validation for their romantic feelings for each other would be enough

[paperlignes]

Been floating around all day thinking about nandermo kissing. Drove for 6 hours didn’t remember anything just day dreamed about nandermo kissing. The idea of them kissing, it does things to me.

[queerfables]

The thing is, Crowley and Aziraphale's problem isn't miscommunication. I'm not the first person to point this out but I see enough posts taking this framing at face value that I feel it's worth saying again.

If Crowley and Aziraphale sat down and talked everything out calmly and rationally without hiding anything and while validating each other's feelings, they would still end up exactly where they are. Because they fundamentally DO NOT AGREE about the problem they're facing or how to address it.

Crowley should have told Aziraphale about apocalypse take two, sure, yeah, but if he had, Aziraphale would have seen it as just another reason to go back to Heaven. He finds out about the second coming and he's horrified but just as resolved in his decision.

Flip side: Aziraphale might have had a hundred good reasons for wanting Crowley to come back with him, none of which boiled down to thinking he was worth less as a demon, but it wouldn't have mattered how eloquently he articulated them. It was always going to be a deal breaker for Crowley.

To be slightly more nuanced about it, there are some things they've been avoiding saying that they really did need to put into words, even though in my opinion they both kind of knew it, already. But the painful fact is that their fight is that in action. Sometimes communicating with someone means exposing the failure points between you (and if you suspect that's going to be the case, that's a very human reason to avoid doing it).

At best, they could maybe have parted with less collateral damage to each other. But the real tragedy of their story is that there was no other way this could have gone. For a long time, their love has been thwarted by the external forces keeping them apart, but also - Aziraphale hasn't Fallen, and Crowley has never expressed any desire to return to Heaven. And just like I think they must have had at least some understanding of the depth of their feelings for each other, I think they must have understood the implications of that too. They're on opposite sides, and even with the danger, it's all very exciting and romantic - until they have to face the fact that the convictions they've held for millennia put them on opposite sides.

So if they're going to move forward together, they can't just talk about it. Crowley's right, actually, they've been talking since before the beginning of time. It isn't enough to understand each other. Together, they're going to have to change. That tentative middle ground between them is going to have to become a place they set down roots, and learn to choose and trust in even when everything else is falling apart.

[tarotchariotpickyourcard]

Why You're Single

Yeah. Here you go.

Please choose between the numbers one, two or three. Or, choose one of the following charms. From left to right is one two or three.

One is the teapot, two is Blossom from powerpuff girls, and three is a sparkly blue clip.

This may be brutal. Don’t hate me, or if you do, you’re allowed I guess but just move on and get a little treat or something. Always a little treat.

GROUP ONE

UNREQUITED LOVE (SPECIAL ATTENTION)

PAY ATTENTION TO THE RED FLAGS

GIVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP A CHANCE (SPECIAL ATTENTION)

You got some quite funny mini cards in my opinion, one was literally The Joker, which made sense when I turned over Pay attention to red flags. Then the other could be a hint to yourself or someone important. It was a king card, not sure which one. The animal depicting it was a monkey.

That could signify to me (yes, I do read into everything) that someone could have been ‘monkeying around’, someone likes monkeys, someone is silly as a characteristic. It also has another side that shows a football. So someone could be a football player or really into it (or soccer), or they like to watch it. This could be yourself, a past or current interest. There is also the letter M as a possible initial, doesn’t have to mean anything.

So what I’m going to do, I’ll give you the basic run down on each card meaning but I will be looking at what I feel when I look at the images for you.

Unrequited love – There’s not enough attraction or chemistry to keep this relationship going. Speaks about one of the two retreating and disappearing often. Talks about how some can attract unhealthy situations with another romantically to try and heal childhood wounds. You deserve to be in a relationship with mutual love, respect and attraction. Ask the angels to help you attract someone of a similar nature.

Oooooof. Your intuition strikes again and again but you seem to keep ignoring it, or something holds you back from taking action on your insights. All very valid, not gonna judge. But I see in the woman’s face that she knows something is wrong in an interaction with a suitor, but she stays planted in place. It’s like she has trouble walking away. Maybe she is scared what the suitor will do if she walks away. Maybe she doesn’t like to be cruel, maybe she has issues saying no. This could be connected to possible childhood wounds, like the original meaning suggests.

I see a past love interest (whether serious or not) may have genuinely hurt your feelings. Repeatedly. This could be on a scale of low to high severity on what may have happened.

I’m going to be straight up, pretty fast. This combination of cards just gives me the initial thought that you could be giving the wrong people chances. You may have chased after love interests that didn’t show you the time of day compared, you seem to naturally be interested or go after those that don’t really seem for you, versus people that would be helpful or healthy for you. I get the thought block in my brain of liking drama (thinking it means something is happening), or thinking attraction is something that true attraction…isn’t quite? Love means something different to you, it’s misconstrued. The expression of it, at least.

It’s like if someone hurt you, but they came back and it was this big thing, or event or something. It’s like you want to be proven to that you are wanted. Maybe, just maybe there’s a part of someone here who deep down thinks if they can have someone interested in them or love them that initially seemed unreachable…Then finally, that means they are wanted.

But in reality, this is just you giving and giving, I think.

PAY ATTENTION TO THE RED FLAGS – The signs are cautioning you. If you are swept up in a new romance, this card is cautioning you. Pay attention to your feelings and thoughts. Don’t allow emotion to blind you to characteristics or habits that won’t serve you in the relationship. A red flag is a sign that something is off. Indications of dishonesty, disrespect, flirtatiousness with others, substance abuse, lack of integrity etc. A person may treat you very well at the start, but watch for the way they treat others. Red flags can be markers for healing, in the right places.

Nah, nah nah nahhhh. I feel like you have given attention to people who were definitely nowhere near your level. What are you doinnnnn. Your angels are saying protect yourself, protect yourself. Giving too many chances for the wrong people to talk to you, you’re giving people the time of day and they don’t deserve any attention at all. I see someone trying to appear more smart or well learned than they are, nooooo. Excuse me while I get a bucket. It’s like “Yeah this thing you brought up, I know all about it, let me talk over you or teach you to assert my dominan…I mean attractiveness.”

But I kind of see you putting on a mask. And it’s not in way that’s on purpose I don’t think. Or to manipulate for gains. I guess subconsciously it’s to manipulate for something you think you desire. Maybe. This mask, it could be as simple as people pleasing. It could be that you don’t quite express your honest self out of shyness or fear. That’s a journey in itself, and you’ll feel comfortable being yourself when it’s the right person.

People might say they want something, and ghost. People might say they want to try and fix something, but go back to a pattern. People say a lot of stuff. Give your relationship a chance just makes me think you could be listening to what people say, more than looking at what they do. And they’re wasting your time. And that’s not fair. Watch the person. Watch what they value. When they say they want something, do they make plans? When they say they love their family and they’re a family person, do they even spend time with them? They say they love football? (lol) well do you see them going to matches? Do they ever have it on tv?

It says in the meaning for this card, if you do end a relationship, know that you gave it your all. But some things and people don’t deserve your all, because they never gave it theirs. So don’t effing give it. Watch and wait and see if someone deserves all of you. Because you deserve all of the right person.

Jeysus.

Right angel card guidance/notes and charms.

You have a penny which has me thinking see a penny pick it up…You know the rest, and be mine.

You’ve got count your blessings – Study and learning – Live your joy

You’ve got a lot going on in life and a lot going for you. You’re a smart cookie, and you’ll learn more how to navigate romance and relationships, but for now I feel like one or more have wasted your time, which annoys me a bit to be honest, because you have cool stuff to do. Way cooler than entertain dorks. You know more than a lot of these people that might approach you, so don’t let them think you’re not as smart as them either. The more you live your life, enjoy yourself and pay attention to your schoolwork, studies or work, the more likely you are to energetically attract someone better for you. It’s like releasing shackles. You don’t need to prove anything, you don’t need validation, you are your own darn blessing and you will be the ultimate blessing in someone elses life. So the next one better be real, and better know they’re talking to a good egg.

I do like eggs.

 That’s it good luck look at your childhood but don’t forget your cool hobbies or to get one.

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GROUP 2

PASSION – allow your heart and soul to sing with joy

CHILDREN – Your love life is being affected by children

ATTRACTION – You attract romantic love by enjoying this moment fully

Mini cards are jelly fish and tent. Jelly fish makes me think you’ve been stung. Tent makes me think of a safe place outside.

Your charms are D as a possible initial, and flowers may be special to you, especially cherry blossoms or pink flowers.

Passion talks about reviving passion in your own life. Romantic improvements beginning with yourself. Maybe things have been a bit apathetic lately, or mundane. Maybe you’ve been focussed on just getting on with things. It says when you can enjoy your life completely and be involved in it, it brings that energy into your relationships. Suggests that you could meet someone through hobbies, activities or causes.

Children suggests that yourself, or a love interest may be affected by children right now. So perhaps you are looking after a child currently, perhaps you work with children. Sometimes this can mean inner child work. The meaning says there could be a need to be more playful or lighthearted, or it’s time to heal an inner child wound. (I personally would recommend guided meditations, there are some free ones on youtube.)

Attraction says you are most attractive when you are being yourself and enjoying yourself in the moment. (so many hints to play, have fun, do something interesting or a hobby). Your joyful laughter, self expression and body language are beautiful. If you are straining to find romance, can create stress and unpleasant consequences physically as a result of stress but also energetically. The fear that you may not find someone can create blocks. Enjoy simple things in life such as flowers or art, and visualize what a loving healthy relationship looks like to you.

All together this is out right just telling me you’re too stressed. It’s like your body freezes up when someone tries to invite you to dance, or play a game. It’s like you’re not used to relaxing, and you’re naturally tense. I’m going to check with you now – are your shoulders high up, is your jaw clenched? What about your back. Is it straight or hunched? Listen to your body.

First, I suggest you go out just with you yourself and you, no judgement, no eyes one you. Go out and enjoy a day at the museum, or a café, or visit a historical place. Whatever seems interesting. Or even just dance like a weirdo in your living room with no one there. I feel like you need to be more yourself and in your body. Because, I feel like you could attract the right person, it’s just a matter of you being ready and in the right place mentally.

If there are childhood wounds like suggested, this could be around self-expression or individuality. Or maybe you didn’t feel allowed to enjoy things. Just some brainstorming.

I am seeing that having a partner who is kind is very important to you. Someone familial, someone loving. Maybe you even want someone who is passionate, even a go getter. But I feel like that’s something that you can be, too. You don’t have to wait for that type of energy to come into your life. I get the idea that maybe you play it safe. Maybe it’s time for you to step out of your comfort zone a bit. You never know if you will either really light up a connection already, or if you’ll attract someone you never would have before.

Your angel card is study and learning. This goes hand in hand with doing something new or getting involved in a hobby/cause. Maybe you could meet someone at school/university? The book meaning suggests asking yourself ‘what is this situation teaching me?’. While you’re single, what do you think is happening for you? What does it enable for you? If you’ve been considering taking a course or learning something new, the angels are giving a yes to that. I see as well that someone could get your attention because they are interested in the same thing you are. Mutual interests are a great ice breaker.

There you go group 2, I’m hoping that you have some fun soon, let loose a little.

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GROUP 3

You seem like you’ve been working hard. Backs hurting here at the top.

 Gone and given me more cards to read, lolllll

Okkkkkkk.

You guys are always on the go, that’s why. These mini cards just have a car and a plane taking off. You’re too darn busyyyy.

For charms, I have ‘love’ and what I call a mystery, because the purple looks mysterious. With the hello kitty charm. I see this is maybe you see love as a mystery, maybe you have never been in love or experienced it yet regardless of age. Maybe relationships are confusing to you right now. The cat and the mystery seem to me like maybe you’re mysterious and/or hold back a bit too much.

HONEYMOON

Do you like traveling? Or do you travel for work? This could be affecting your chances to hold down a partnership right now. It’s not inherently bad, it just is what it is. However, practically speaking, most people stay put and would like to have their partner with them most of the time. Decisions/priorities may need to adapt or there may need to just be acceptance of the situation.

CODEPENDENCY

Addictions are affecting your romantic life.

DECEPTION

Someone is wearing a false self-mask in this relationship

TRUE LOVE

This is the romance of a lifetime

A lot of you here seem to have a soft heart, and as a result, can be easily hurt and it may be more difficult for you than others to overcome when others lose your trust or harm you. It may take longer, or you might find things to distract yourself, from games/socializing, all the way to the other side of the spectrum such as harmful substances.

I feel like I might have to be a bit hard line with you here. There are a few possibilities with this combination of cards, and honestly there’s no real judgement because they can be common, but it may be things that people don’t like to hear, quite frankly.

Some here might be scared of love so they jet off, or are always on the move or tend to run from potential relationships. It’s like a secret little inner self sabotage person in the back of your brain. Figuratively speaking.

Someone here may have been cheated on (I’m sorry) and ever since have kind of lamented about it, and been afraid of trusting again so you may wear a mask of not caring or being more interested in something/someone else. You may do things just for show, to protect your feelings and ego.

Someone here might have been the ‘toxic’ one, and this has been a growth experience, even if upsetting.

There may also be idealistic thinking and unrealistic expectations, which is not what true love is in the grand scheme of life.

Codependency is what it says on the tin. This could be within relationships (for example needing validation or attention, feeling that you can’t do something without a particular person, feeling like you need their permission, even.) or substances, or activities. Some co-dependency’s in life are more subtle than others. You can even be addicted to work. It may give a sense of meaning to the point you rely on it to feel important or valued.

Deception shows that you aren’t being real with others romantically, but it also means with yourself, too.  Take some time to understand your real desires and priorities. It can also mean you’ve had people lie to you, and you find it hard to trust and open up. My advice for that would be to try, but wait and watch for a little bit and open up bit by bit yourself. It doesn’t have to be all at once. It’s not true love when someone just let’s their whole life story out at the first conversation, though some might like to think that. It just means they like talking.

It’s important for you to be honest with others as well, even if you feel paranoid that they won’t be honest with you. You can attract the energy by being it. Keep having integrity.

Overall, I see fear, and using something to run away. You may claim to want a partner/healthy relationship but you are your own barrier. You deserve a healthy relationship that is loving and full of mutual trust. But do you agree?

 Please don’t let shame hold you back from enjoying your life moving forward as a human being. Everyone deserves love.

Your angel advice is

Don’t hate, meditate – Thank you angels for sending me love through meditation

Synchronicity – Thank you angels, I trust your well timed guidance and signs.

Yeah, you’ve definitely been burnt. The angels say any time you feel the anger or frustration, to close your eyes and connect. The meaning says that these feelings don’t serve you and they will help you to remove them. It talks about having an independent and self sufficient soul, but the angels invite you to meditate and ask for their help. Every time you think of the ‘hate’ word, just try and switch to something you love.

I want to say to remember that you’re better than this, as well. You’re growing into a better person every day, and if you’ve been wronged, you’re miles further in development than they are. So never lower yourself, and never lower your standards. You’re both strong and kind in your own way and you deserve a unique soul, someone who understands things differently too.

Synchronicity talks about how some things happen for a reason in life. They’re asking you to trust the process and try and have faith. They also suggest if there’s a project you’ve been thinking of, now is the perfect time to start. I see Neptune, so it makes me think of a creative project.

Ok good luck with your romantic life and your whole life in general hope something cool happens bye

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Well that was interesting. No tomato throwing please. Have a good dayyy

[lover-of-mine]

Far from me to make Shannon about Buck, but I keep saying the way that Eddie reacts to Buck during the lawsuit is about the effort and that Eddie would've reacted differently to Shannon if Shannon had made the choice to come back herself when people try to make that comparison, and I feel like the episode proved me right on that front. Shannon left Eddie and Chris and Eddie reached out and that was why she came back, and she never told Eddie why she left Eddie, Eddie had no closure on the way she left him in the middle of the night. And that's the thing that gets him, because he seemed to accept in some level he could trust she wouldn't voluntarily leave Christopher again, but he never managed to trust she wouldn't leave him, and she did leave him before she died, he thought that her not coming back on her own would always mean maybe she would leave again and Shannon asked for a divorce and that confirmed that fear. All Eddie wanted from her was the explanation "if you loved me, why did you leave me? What wasn't enough? Me or your love for me?" if she didn't want to stay, and he will never get that because they made statements about each other using Christopher, as if the effort towards Chris would be enough to keep their relationship together. Considering the whole way Eddie proposed because she was pregnant and he decides to try again for real because he thinks she's pregnant again, and the way she demands for a stance regarding being brought back into Chris' life to define their relationship, and "is that who I am to you? Christopher's mother" they never really talked to each other about each other with Chris removed from the equation, and that was what they needed, to have an honest conversation about each other without believing Chris could magically keep them together. Eddie needs his own letter and he'll never get it because neither one of them ever sit down to talk about what all the running did to the other. Not beyond Shannon yelling at Eddie that what she needed was him and he wasn't there. And considering the way Shannon is all Eddie knows with how young they were when they met, his reactions when it comes to relationships come from what he was taught to expect there. It's why he folds the way he did when Buck apologizes and explains how he was feeling and why he did what he did. Because Buck apologizing the way he does validates a part of Eddie abandonment issues that's not validated often enough. Buck realized what happened hurt Eddie and he made a direct effort to make it up to Eddie without going around the issues. And that's interesting because Eddie himself hides behind Christopher during the whole situation, he calls Buck out for leaving him by putting Chris in the middle so he won't have to say that he misses Buck.

And I think the whole thing adds to the way Eddie changing his will feels inherently romantic, because simply asking a friend to be your kid's guardian isn't romantic, but doing it and hiding it when you have a history of making statements about your romantic life using your kid is. Shannon demanded a statement about what she and Eddie were through Christopher and Eddie makes a statement about what Buck is to him through Christopher. And it's an interesting contrast in the situation when you consider the similarities between the fight Shannon and Eddie have at the station in 210 and the will reveal (same color palette, same general feeling of defining relationships through Chris) because Shannon was only getting Eddie and Buck only got Christopher, and neither relationship could go anywhere until they addressed the balance that needs to exist between the two. Obviously, any relationship Eddie enters needs to consider Christopher, but Chris can't be the defining factor and that's the thing that Eddie himself keeps failing to realize. Yes, Christopher's needs are important, but Eddie needs to also consider his own needs if he wants to make a relationship work, but he never acknowledged that until he was yelling at Kim that Chris got a letter but Eddie never did. Because that's what Eddie needs to move on, to not look for a mother for Chris, but for a partner for him who also happens to love Christopher. But he can't see that because what he wants is the fantasy he had as a teenager of growing old with Shannon and he can't let that go even though he's never going to get that.

And I feel like this rambling also adds to my general rambling about how Buck is the one who needs to start his endgame relationship, so he's the one who needs to make the choice to fight for Eddie, because in the same way that Buck keeps being pursued by people and he keeps letting himself be chased because he doesn't want to make a choice in a fucked up mirror of that first relationship with Abby, the relationship that shaped Eddie is a relationship where he wasn't chosen to be in. From marrying Shannon before they were ready because she was pregnant to being the one to ask her to come back, he never knew if she was with him because she wanted to be with him or out of obligation to Chris and the same sense of duty that made them get married in the first place, in the same way that Abby took the agency away from Buck by crashing into his life the way she did and forcing him into this waiting position that he needs to leave. Buck needs to make a choice because he needs to stop waiting for love to find him and Eddie needs to be chosen because he never knew what that feels like to have love choose him.

[queerian]

in response to the call for discussion on stone identities

prompted by last week's stream with @drdemonprince and @testdevice

this post is about sex and it's very personal! feel free to ignore if very personal essays about sex from your internet friends or strangers is not your idea of a good time

What does sex look like for you, and what brings you the most pleasure or gratification from it?

It starts with a sensory warmup. My partner touches me gently and slowly in a way that wakes my body up to pleasure. I do not get aroused without either being touched this way or thinking about some extremely specific niche freak kink shit. I tend to be nonverbal during sex, unless I need to break "scene" and communicate something specific purposefully, but sometimes it's hard for me to find my words again. Even without speaking I am very expressive. My partner can tell from my reactions when an escalation would be enjoyable. They use their hands and toys. They are very good with their hands, and we have a LOT of toys and other paraphernalia. I had never had an orgasm, at all, in my life, til we did things this way. It is an intense physical pleasure extended to far longer than I can manage by myself during solo activities, sometimes for hours. It allows me to stop my over-analytical thinking brain for a while and sink into sensation and feeling and being in my body, which most of the time I feel disconnected from (thanks alexithymia!) or troubled by. I do think of it as a somewhat meditative state. This kind of sex is also extremely collaborative and intimate. There is a huge amount of trust and being "in tune" with each other.

Is your stone identity related to sensory issues, neurodivergence, or trauma?

All three! I was never coerced into sex by individual partners, but "sex positive" culture (if you were with me you'd see the face I make while doing the scare quotes) has been coercive enough to traumatize me into believing that I am a bad person if I don't "give as good as I get" and that I'm a terrible person if I don't want to reciprocate stimulation in sex. I've been working on this one for years. It still has its claws in me.

Sensory issues make certain sex activities unpleasant or not enjoyable for me, and I appreciate now being able to choose to not do them. For example open mouth kissing. I like kissing skin in some body places, I like having some of my body parts kissed, but I do not like sharing saliva or breath. I've always been very picky about what goes in my mouth for sensory reasons, and that's not just a sex thing. On the other hand, other kinds of sensory stimulation in sex can be extremely pleasurable for me. I also tend to keep my eyes closed the entire time (I avoid eye contact at the best of times but in sex it's uhhhhhh even more Too Intense) and this lets me sink into other sensory experiences more intensely.

The neurodivergence bit I think is pretty clear from everything else I've said in this piece of writing.

How did you figure out you were stone?

I once turned to aceness as a way of trying to validate myself at the same time as problematizing my own lack of "appropriate" desire. "It is it wrong of me to not want to touch someone's genitals, whatever they may be, to not want to get them off, to not even let them get themselves off using my body, and it's wrong of me to not desire them carnally, to not be obsessed with and fulfilled by them romantically. Thus, I must be ace and aro, because that means it's okay to not want all that sometimes or all the time."

I've come to call myself a "stone bottom" in a deliberate effort of self-acceptance and self-validation. I was long aware of the idea of a stone top, a touch-me-not, someone who derives pleasure and gratification from getting her/their partners off but does not want to be fucked or gotten off. I don't recall seeing anyone else identify as a stone bottom, but as a mirror image of a stone top it makes perfect sense to me: someone who derives pleasure and gratification from being gotten off, from being touched or fucked, but does not want to get their partners off. I think I've only ever seen that called "selfish" unless it was in a power exchange scenario and part of dominance and submission.

Are you a gay man who identifies as stone, or a stone bottom, or some other identity that's less often talked about?

I'm non-binary/agender and generally perceived by society as a woman. I have a vagina. I've only ever had sex with people who have penises. I feel like it's pretty unusual for me to be a person with a vagina having sex with a person who has a penis and the penis is not involved at all in the sex. With previous partners, it's not just that it was expected that at some point they would be sticking it in me, it's that I never got to opt out of someone else using me, even gently, lovingly, and with attention to my pleasure. See aforementioned cultural trauma, lol. Reciprocation simply was not something I could abstain from without being a Grade A Asshole. Back then, I didn't even "actively want to not reciprocate". I wanted to be "good, giving, and game", like Dan Savage wrote you should be in his column that I read in my hunger to know more about sex and be having it a "correct, right" way. I wasn't yearning to be a stone bottom. I didn't know that was even an option. I didn't know it was possible to be a pillow princess and to have a partner that enjoyed this kind of sex, for it not to be a chore or imposition on them, and for this kind of sex to be a mutual sharing of intimacy.

Plenty of people buck the stereotypical straight cis sex scenario of "man (penis haver) does a little "foreplay" for the woman (vagina haver) to get her ready for the main event (penis in vagina), which they do til he ejaculates, and if she's lucky he'll eat her out or rub her clit and she might also get an orgasm." There's a thriving counter-culture where "reciprocal sexual gratification" is emphasized, all sorts of books and guides and tips and porn showing how important it is that "she comes first" or whatever, but most of it still centres around the point that "reciprocity is essential to not being an asshole". If he's an asshole for not appropriately tending to her pleasure, surely she would be, too, for ignoring his. And I really, really strongly internalized the belief that if I am not reciprocating, I am an unforgivable asshole. There's something, too, about the lack of "balance" that has long made me feel morally incorrect. (Points again at the neurodivergence.)

Is it a struggle to get partners to respect it?

I have not dated much, and I have not fucked much, mostly because I did not want to do either of those things enough to do less interesting or more tiresome things in order to achieve sex or dating. I also rarely experience what I'll call "sufficiently motivating attraction". I currently identify as nebulously "somewhere" on the asexual and aromantic spectra, and this is inseparable from the stone bottom/pillow princess situation. All of this is also wrapped up in my one ongoing relationship with my partner. I honestly don't know how differently things would be with another partner. I suspect I have facets that come out in different contexts, in response to different people and my feelings about them. What I do know with confidence is that my partner respects me, understands me quite well, and we communicate openly and frequently about things. I trust that if they have an issue with the current situation, they'll bring it up and we can talk about it and work on things. I trust that every time we have sex, they're initiating because they want to just as I can decline if and when I want to. I particularly appreciate the fact that I don't have to be an object of desire. That they can enjoy making me feel good, and it's not about "having" me. The very fact that someone just wants to make me feel good, over and over again, is pretty mind-blowing.

[magiccath]

A matchmaker of sorts

tenth doctor x GN!reader

summary: In which Donna is fed up with her love-sick, oblivious best friends.

Warnings: brief use of y/n

Donna had always known that her best friends were in love with each other. She wouldn’t call herself the most observational person, but it really didn’t take much to notice. She was honestly surprised that neither of you had figured it out by now.

The two of you were different in the ways that you showed your affection, but she had picked up on it.

The Doctor always looked at you with that big, stupid grin. He only ever smiled that much when you were around. He looked at you as if you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She supposed to him you were. 

He always made excuses to touch you, even in the slightest of ways. He would ghost his hand on the small of your back when you were in crowded areas, something he never once did with her. He was always holding your hand, and you were the very first person he hugged after any victory (no matter how small).

You, on the other hand, were always flustered around the Time Lord. You turned scarlet from his little touches, especially when he hugged you. When he got super excited he would sometimes pull you into a tight hug, spinning you around the room ceremoniously. She could have sworn she once saw you grin bashfully into his shoulder as he whipped the two of you around the room.

When he walked around the ship your eyes would always follow him. Even off the ship, you seemed to be constantly looking at him. You always managed to look away embarrassed before getting caught, though.

The two of you were clearly head over heels. Donna would even admit that you were good for each other. The only issue was that neither of you could seem to see the other’s feelings, no matter how glaringly obvious they were. 

Donna was pondering this issue one afternoon when she got an idea. She could try and mastermind the two of you into each other’s arms. At the very least, maybe she could encourage you to admit your feelings. Mischievous antics were already brewing in her brain. 

“Doctor?” Donna asked, walking over to lean casually against the TARDIS console. 

“Yes?” He acknowledged, not looking up from his work. He was fiddling with the controls in front of him. You and Donna had stopped asking specifics beyond that long ago. Sometimes he just needed something to do with his hands. 

“Let me set you up on a date,” Donna smiled cheekily. 

“Not interested,” he grumbled, eyes still trained on the console. Maybe he actually was doing something purposeful.

“Why not? I know you’re lonely.” 

“I have you.” 

“Oi!” she gasped, slapping him, “not like that!” 

“I mean, I have you to keep me company,” he sighed, taking his glasses off to pinch the bridge of his nose. “And y/n.” 

“Don’t you want someone you can be with romantically though?” 

“It doesn’t work like that,” he sighed, turning away from her, “I don’t age, I regenerate,” he said, a twinge of sadness riddled in his voice. 

“That’s not a valid enough reason,” Donna put her hands on her hips. If that’s all the cause he had for never asking you out, he needed a proper whacking.

“I can’t spend the rest of my life with someone.” 

“Can’t you just enjoy the time you can?” “Why risk it? It eventually ends,” he groaned, moving back to the console. He was clearly done with this line of questioning, but she wasn’t.

 Donna knew the Doctor could get lost in his thoughts, but they usually weren’t this pessimistic. Self-effacing and anxious? Sure. But properly “glass half empty” wasn’t the Doctor’s style. 

“What about y/n?” She gandered. She examined her nails as if her words weren’t carefully planned. 

“What about them?” The Doctor raised his eyebrow in confusion. 

“Why don’t you go on a date with them?” She clarified. The Doctor's eyes widened and he looked away with a scarlet flush. 

“I- uh.” 

“I see the way you look at them,” Donna poked, feeling she was getting somewhere.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, avoiding eye contact. 

“I think you do!” Donna groaned, moving away from him. He could be so stubborn at times. 

She started to walk away when the Doctor’s voice caught her attention. His gaze was glued to the console, so she wasn’t even sure if he was talking to her at first. 

“What if I did?” He finally whispered. Donna looked back with interest, her eyebrows raised. “What if I did have feelings for them?” 

“Do you?” She asked lightly. 

“What if I’m so very in love with them and it scares me more than anything ever has before? What if I think about them all the time and the only thing I want to do is kiss them?” He shoved himself off of the console and started pacing, his hands raking through his hair anxiously. “What if they’re the most beautiful being I have ever seen and I want to spend as much time as I can with them?” 

Donna stared at him wide-eyed and flabbergasted. She hadn’t expected him to admit his feelings to her. 

“Hypothetically,” he added. Donna chorted. Of course, he needed some plausible deniability in the matter. 

“Hypothetically,” she confirmed, smiling to herself. 

“It really hurts, Donna,” He looked at her, pain etched into the features of his face. “Being this infatuated with them, and knowing it can never happen.” 

Donna leaned her head sympathetically on his should, but before she could respond a crash came from the nearby hallway. Both Donna and the Doctor turned in the direction of the noise, clearly confused. 

You cursed to yourself, bending down to pick up the book you had dropped. You had been walking down the hallway when you heard Donna say your name. You picked up that she was talking to the Doctor and didn’t want to interfere, so you just remained in the hallway. You hadn’t intended to eavesdrop at all. Once you started listening, it had just become a little hard to stop.

So much for subtly you thought to yourseld, moving slowly out of the hallway and into the room with a wince. Talk about awkward.

The Doctor looked at you with shockingly wide eyes before quickly averting his gaze. He acted as if you had just walked in on him admitting something horrible. 

“Hi,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. The Doctor was still fidgeting his face bright red, refusing to look your way. You stared at him awkwardly, the tension in the room at an all-time high. 

You wrung your hands anxiously, not sure what to do now. You hadn’t exactly thought this far ahead.

“Right!” Donna sprung up, her voice breaking the deafening silence. You stared at her in shock, her sudden contribution had startled you.

“I have things to do,” she lied, pointing to the hall. You nodded meekly, and the Doctor didn’t respond. Awkwardly, Donna made her way to the door. She turned back around to send an encouraging thumbs-up in your direction. You smiled painfully back at her.

The room remained silent for a few minutes after she left. It was an awkward and uncomfortable kind of silence.

You sulked over to the console to stand adjacent to the Doctor, but you didn’t know where to go from there. You settled on leaning back against the cool metal, your eyes focused on your trainers.

“How much of that did you hear?” The Doctor finally mumbled. 

“Quite a bit,” you admitted, rubbing your arm absent-mindedly. You really hoped everything he had said was true, but a small part of you still refused to believe it. You’d been in love with the Doctor for so long, the thought of him feeling the same way was so far fetched. 

“I- Uh, well,” He choked. You tried again to catch his eyes, but he averted his gaze. 

“Doctor?” You asked, running your hands along the console next to him. Next to you, he stiffened. 

“Just forget it ever happened,” He said, shoving himself off the console. He ran his hands through his hair aggressively, still not looking you in the eye.

“What?! No!” you gasped, shoving off the console too, “you can’t take it back! That’s such a coward move!” You snapped.

The Doctor looked at you, shocked. His mouth was slightly agape, and he met your eyes for the first time since you had walked into the room. 

“Especially not when I feel the same,” you mumbled. Now it was your turn to avoid his gaze, your eyes settling on the floor.

“What?” He asked, stunned. He didn’t know what he had been expecting, but it wasn’t this.

“You heard me,” you whispered, deciding it would just be worse to double back on yourself. 

The Doctor moved closer to you so he could delicately trace the lines of your jaw, guiding your face gently upwards. Your eyes landed on his and you had to fight the urge to look away. 

“Do you really mean that?” He whispered, his breath dancing across your face. 

“Yeah,” you gasped, voice hardly a whisper. 

The Doctor smiled brightly before lightly gripping your face to guide it up to his own, his lips crashing into yours. 

The Doctor kissed in a way that was so very him. He couldn’t stay still, his hands constantly moving in one way or another. They danced around your face, rubbing small circles into your cheeks, they tangled themselves in your hair, or ran elegantly down your sides. Every touch sent sparks through your body, a warmth spreading with it.

He wrapped his long arms around your waist, lifting you off the ground. Your feet dangled comically, and you couldn’t help but feel silly. 

You hummed happily, sinking deeper into the kiss. You felt more at home than you ever had in your life, and you never wanted it to end. 

The two of you were happy, the world only consisting of each other. 

That was until Donna started loudly clearing her throat. 

The Doctor pulled slightly away and lowered you down to the floor slowly. However, he didn’t remove his grip on you, still holding you gently against him. He wasn’t ready to let you go yet. Begrudgingly, you turned your head to look at Donna. 

The fiery redhead stood with her hands on her hips, eyebrows raised in question. You felt a scarlet flush flood your cheeks, and you avoided eye contact. 

“Been waiting for you two to stop being so thick,” she rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. “Now, if you two will stop snogging, I would like to go somewhere” 

The Doctor threw his head back laughing, arms still lightly wrapped around you. After a minute, you joined in. 

“Allons-y!” He cheered, grabbing your hand with a bright smile.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

a brief retrospective on Louis and Violet as love interests, Clementine's bisexuality, and the fandom's continued insistence on fighting over this

In December of 2019, I made a series of posts called "An Explanation of Why Louis and Violet are Both Excellent Love Interests" that explored my feelings on the topic after seeing a lot of fighting in the fandom over who's better; who is the "right" choice for Clementine?

The answer is simple: there isn't an objectively correct choice.

I compared Louis and Violet to the romantic options in other games, including Life is Strange, Persona 4, King's Quest 2015, and Catherine, as well as TWDG: A New Frontier. I wanted to show how much better TFS handled the romance versus those games, why we should be grateful for what we got since it could've been a lot worse, and how the fighting over who's "right" was a waste of time.

I suppose it's only fitting that I'd be driven to revisit this topic after seeing fans continue to argue amongst themselves over this years later in the trenches of a weakening fandom.

Just when I think I'm done writing pieces for TWDG, some random redditor writes an essay about how violentine only exists for "woke points" that grabs me by the throat and throws me down. Then another will insist that clouis is abusive since Louis voted against them in ep2 in their own essay and I'm dragged back here, kicking and screaming.

While I think my previous Excellent Love Interests posts about this are on the juvenile side, I do still agree with my main point: Louis and Violet are excellent characters who make for compelling love interests. The fact that we got them both, that we were given the choice, and that they're as well done as they are, is something I don't think we appreciate enough. Hell, I don't think we even appreciate that Clementine's a canonically bisexual protagonist as much as we should.

We're too busy trying to one up each other with, "Well, actually, clouis is superior because of this and this," and "no, you're wrong, violentine is actually better because of this and this," and sometimes a wild non-shipper will appear out of nowhere to slap down an, "actually, you both suck, singletine is better."

It's sad that this is what fandom inevitably defaults to, always. It stops being about the game we love, the thing that brought us here, and it becomes a pissing match.

Doesn't matter what fandom it is; we end up projecting too much of ourselves onto fictional characters, investing too much of our time into ship culture, hyper-fixating until it becomes part of us... and let's be real, sometimes it's in unhealthy ways.

So, when someone else attacks the things we're attached to, it becomes a personal attack... and when we feel threatened, we become defensive and retaliate... and sometimes, we take it too far and target others out of insecurity, to feel validated, even if it means going after someone who is just minding their own business.

Also, I think some people are just assholes who want to piss on everyone.

Because of this, I would like to discuss Louis and Violet as romanceable characters, why they're both important to TFS no matter who you choose, why Clementine being a bisexual protagonist matters, and the fandom's continued insistence on fighting over this.

For many personal reasons, I've always been trepid about being open with my sexuality as a bi woman. I've done a lot of reflection this year on why that is; internalized misogyny, the biphobia that lingers in the queer community, insecurities, regrets, how I tend to be harsher on female characters over male characters, why it took me so long to not feel afraid of engaging with queer media, admitting I was wrong about so many things I've said in the past, how it's all affected my writing, etc.

When TFS released and I made this blog, I had already accepted my bisexuality but was in no way public about it, not online or in my personal life. But playing the first two episode of TFS, being presented with both Louis and Violet as potential romantic partners struck something inside of me.

Yes, I picked Louis; we all know I'm a major clouis shipper at this point, and if you're new here, then now you know, too.

But it's the fact that Violet's also an option, that with just a few different button presses, Clementine could've fallen for her just as she did with Louis; that there's evidence in game that she shows interested in both of them no matter your choices; that no one in-game judges Clementine for who she chooses to be with... that meant something to me in a way that it hadn't before.

TFS wasn't the first game I played with a bi protagonist; in Excellent Love Interests, I compared Louis and Violet to Life is Strange's Chloe and Warren. I have a lot of mixed feelings about the first LiS game overall, but I've been quite open about my dislike of Chloe and indifference to Warren.

Chloe, to me, is everything I dislike in a love interest, predominately in wlw. 2023 was the year of "CJ dives into sapphic literature and it's a 50/50 chance of striking gold or gettin' hella eaten by disappointment, shaka brah." Meaning I've read a lot of wlw novels, and all the ones I hated featured a Chloe clone, sometimes done even worse.

And Warren? I'll be real honest with you- I couldn't even remember what his name was when I started writing this. I had to go back and check. That tells you what I think of him, no?

So, LiS didn't strike me the same way. Sure, I knew Max was a bi protagonist and that's great, but the choices weren't appealing to me. This was when I was a teenager still somewhat in denial of my sexuality, which most definitely contributed to me being uncomfortable when faced with a wlw relationship portrayed in-game, especially when I found myself wishing Kate was an option for Max... but y'know, "shhhhhhh if I don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist."

When the first episode of TFS released, I was older, I was no longer in a not-so-great relationship, and had better accepted who I am. The first episode does a great job of introducing you to Louis and Violet, and giving you the opportunity to spend more time with the one you're interested in.

I actually really liked them both when ep1 dropped, but I've always had a preference for a character who is kind, deflects with humor, and tends to be picked on by the rest of the cast... so it was inevitable that I'd stick with Louis. Though I won't discredit Violet in ep1, or the rest of the game, just because I didn't choose her in the end.

That's one of the best things about Louis and Violet as options; they're opposites, yet alike in many ways. They have their appeals and charms. They're flawed. It never feels like a "love triangle" situation where they're fighting over Clementine. Louis and Violet are friends who have known each other from before the walkers came. It's refreshing to have two characters who are interested in the same person but don't go for each other's throats over it. When they do argue over her, it's more to do with AJ shooting Marlon and whether it's safe for the group to let them stay.

I can't fault anyone who struggled to pick between them. When someone talks about who they picked and why, it's all about the player's preferences.

It's your choice to make, and no matter what, you're not wrong for it.

This season concludes Clementine's story, regardless of what some comics will say. It's the last fight. It's her happy ending. She and AJ finally found a home, a family.

I've played these games since S1 came out in 2012, over ten years ago. Clementine holds a special place in my heart. Not only did this important character have a great final season [despite Telltale shutting down and TFS nearly being left incomplete, remember] but she's also revealed to be canonically bisexual.

They didn't release the whole season and then as an afterthought be like, "oh yeah btw she's bi, she has oneline of flirty dialogue with this character so see? we did good rep."

Yeah, I'm side eyeing you, ANF.

They didn't try to hide it. They presented it to the player unapologetically and made a conscious decision to exclude anything biphobic from other characters... which meant a lot to me.

Biphobia is real and it's not that I don't want it explored well in media, but there's something appealing and safe about a game with a bisexual main character who isn't questioned about it negatively; "You're bi? Doesn't that mean you cheat on all your partners?"

To give a compliment to Life is Strange: True Colors, I had a similar feeling in that game, too. Alex is openly bi, she can date either Steph or Ryan and no one questions the "legitimacy" of her bisexuality.

Because that's always a thing on top of everything else, y'know? "You're a bad bi unless you're with the 'gayer option.'" "Bisexuality isn't real, you're just confused." "I don't date girls who've been tainted by a man." "Oh, you're into girls? How about a threesome?"

Violet never turns her nose up at Clementine for admitting she had a crush on Gabe. Louis isn't ever gross about Clementine and Violet getting close. It speaks volumes for their characters and how accepting they, and everyone else at Ericson, are of Clementine no matter who she chooses, if anyone.

That acceptance, even if it's just in a game, means more than words can express to queer players who don't feel that acceptance in their daily lives.

Which means it hurts all the more when it comes to the fandom's own display of biphobia; "You're bi but ship clouis? Why ship something hetero when violentine is right there?" "Well, MY Clementine's straight because she picked Louis! Stop forcing the gay onto MY Clementine!"

Clementine's important to all of us. Why do you think so many people are pissed about the comics to the point of spewing disgusting bile toward Tillie Walden? I've said my piece on that plenty times before, so allow me to say it on this; the representation of bisexuality in Clementine is beautifully woven through TFS in ways that are subtle yet impactful, and I thank TFS for giving that to us.

One argument I've come across recently against Clementine's bisexuality, and violentine in general: "blegh they only included violentine/made Clem bi for lgbt points." y'know... as if that's a bad thing.

It bothers me because A. saying "I'm not homophobic *but*-" and then making a homophobic argument against violentine while insisting that Clementine's bisexuality came out of nowhere and was forced is icky, and B. I know I've said similar things about violentine in the past. I know I used to argue that violentine's underdeveloped, yet the devs pushed it to the forefront over clouis to pat themselves on the back for doing representation, etc.

I don't believe that anymore; remember when I brought up people making arguments out of insecurity? Yeah, that and being lowkey bitter that violentine got more dev attention than clouis sometimes even though like... that doesn't matter? It literally doesn't matter. That's what I meant when I said you get so invested that certain things feel like a personal attack when they're not.

Some of the developers of TFS are queer people. They probably wanted a bi protagonist with a wlw option because that representation is important to them and they had the opportunity to express it, not because they were trying to get "points" with anyone. Go listen to the commentaries for TFS; they talk about violentine with nothing but positivity, and they didn't do that to shade Louis or clouis shippers. And if you do think they did it shade fans, then maybe stop and consider why; do you actually believe that or are you annoyed that your fave wasn't the center of attention?

On the flip side, I also want to say that gloating and insisting that violentine is the better/right choice because of these things is also unpleasant and untrue. It sucks when it feels like things are biased against you and it sucks even more when that bias is weaponized by other fans to beat you down.

But honestly? If you need this much validation on your opinions about fictional characters, maybe you should stop to think about why that is and what it says about you, yeah?

Truly, this whole clouis versus violentine thing is irritating at best, vile at worse. Thankfully it doesn't happen as much on tumblr given the state of the fandom, and everyone's at least agreed that no matter their feelings toward each other, clemricca is worse. So, that's something, I guess.

I think the best way I can put this is you don't get to dictate what other people think and feel. Being passionate is great until it becomes an excuse to be an asshole. Not everyone is going to agree with you and you need to put your big kid pants on and accept that.

I'm under no impression that the fighting will ever stop, even when this fandom is dried up with only bones and memories haunting its desert... but at the very least, I can point some of it out and ask that we do better than this.

The focus gets lost in the fighting, and that focus is Louis and Violet themselves. Y'know, the two this retrospective's about.

Remember when I talked about Persona 4 in Excellent Love Interests and how much it sucks when the person you want to romance isn't actually an option--?

Hmm? What's that? Ah, yes, right- @pi-creates insists I add that TFS and Persona 4 actually are the same because Aasim wasn't an option and they're still bitter about that... but this isn't about Aasim, that's a topic for another day. Sorry Pi, but thanks for the screenshots used in this retrospective👍

Anyway, TFS gave us two excellent choices, and it would've been worse off had it only given us one of them, or none at all.

Louis wears charisma as a mask and uses humor as a shield to deflect. Violet, for as quiet and standoffish as she first appears, has a heart she's both eager and reluctant to share.

Louis is warm curtains of sunlight seeping through the murmuring woods of green leaves and little song birds. A heart carved into the rustic wood of an out-of-tune piano. Music echoing in the early morning hallways.

Violet is the glow of a full moon that illuminates still waters so the stars can dance in its reflection. Paint smeared over finger tips to offer a piece of herself meant to be worn. Constellations of stars named in secret.

They're both lonely people, often misunderstood by the others at Ericson, and sometimes by each other. They want to be known. They want to be seen.

But fear is a powerful wall to overcome.

And that's the beauty of choice. You get the impression of knowing them in the beginning, but it rarely breaks surface tension; Louis is nice and funny but undependable, Violet's rude and reserved and a little awkward. Neither are outspoken about any issues around Ericson, content to keep their heads down.

Clementine has to make the effort to know them, and the game establishes this by asking you an unassuming question: do you want to go hunting with Louis or fishing with Violet?

Clementine either makes an effort to understand Violet's feelings toward Brody and why she's so mean to her, and try to help her through it... or she doesn't listen to what Violet's saying, is dismissive, and ends up making things worse.

When Clementine goes hunting with Louis, she has to make the decision to spend time with him or ignore him in favor of hunting, and should she choose him, he opens up to her just a bit.

Then comes the confrontation with Marlon at the end of the episode where Clementine has to make the choice of who to appeal to. The gravity of this choice is often glossed over, I think.

Marlon has a gun pointed at her head, and she pleas for Louis or Violet to step in and save her. Both are hesitant because of course they are! They've known Marlon longer, he has a gun, and he's using manipulation to scare them into submission; he uses his friendship against Louis, and Minerva against Violet.

But when Clementine gets through to them? They stand between her and Marlon in rather in-character ways; Louis eases in with his hands up, attempting to deescalate the situation while Violet pulls out a weapon and demands he back off.

They risked getting shot. They risked death. They knew what was happening was wrong. They didn't want Clementine to die, they didn't fully believe Marlon's bullshit but were too scared to step forward until Clementine asked them, too. In that moment she basically told them, "I trust you. Instinct tells me you are the one who can stop this. My life is in your hands."

This choice changes them, and this moment ripples through the rest of the season. It makes perfect sense that Louis would be upset over Marlon's death and feel unsafe with Clementine and AJ there whereas Violet sees the death as justified and Clementine and AJ shouldn't be kicked out over it. It's an overwhelming situation for everyone.

I've talked about ep2 and the vote until my lungs nearly collapsed and I saw the gates of Hell over the horizon... but that's fine, I can talk a little more about it and maybe this time the flames with cleanse me of my sins or something.

This is where the fighting really began, and I shouldn't have to say it again, but I will anyway: There isn't an objectively correct answer here, there's only personal preference.

Louis and Violet take very clear, opposite stances on this situation. I think they're both a little wrong and a little right; they shouldn't ignore that AJ killed Marlon, but kicking them out isn't the best solution either.

As a clouis shipper, I happen to like the way these events play out with Louis' vote. But not everyone feels that way. For some, Louis' vote is a deal breaker, making Violet the more appealing option given she voted for Clementine and AJ to stay.

Do you want a girl that's been by Clementine's side from the beginning and was vocal about keeping her and AJ here?

Great, Violet's the choice for you. Enjoy the lovely moonlight and constellation mini-game.

Do you want the extra angst of a boy who made a vote he comes to regret and then does everything he can to apologize and make it up to Clementine?

Wonderful, here's Louis. He'll play you a song he wrote and then name it after Clementine, it's very cute.

While on the topic of ep2, I also want to discuss the episode's final choice of saving either Louis or Violet and the consequences.

You know how in other games, say like massive RPG's with "good" and "evil" choices you can make that end up defining your character? You know how sometimes people question why developers even bothered putting those evil routes in since a majority of people will choose to be good? This isn't a new topic of discussion, but it's relevant to my point- they do it because the option to be evil makes the choice to be good more impactful. If you do choose to be evil, you did it knowing you could've been good and yet you decided chaos was the way to go, and now everyone and everything around your character suffers.

I don't think it only applies to binary "good" versus "evil" choices, either.

TWDG is great with its "You can only save one of them" choices, even if they usually fumble with the consequences in later episodes.

When I'm faced with this choice to save either Louis or Violet, I don't save Louis just because I like him more. Sure, initially that's why I saved him on my first run... but then the rest of the season came out and I learned the consequences of the choices I did and didn't make.

Knowing that he'll get his tongue cut out if I don't save him makes me all the more anxious to choose him. And I know violentine shippers are gutted knowing that if they don't save her, she'll feel so betrayed that she turns on Clementine and in the end is blinded in the boat explosion, so they're just as eager to save her.

But all of us have to live with the consequences of what happens to the one we didn't save, too. We made the decision to save the one we love at the cost of hurting the other we didn't love enough. You can't save them both. You're forced to hurt one of them in order to protect the other.

And it doesn't even stop there. TFS isn't done twisting the knife.

Mere moments before you have to make the choice to save one of them, Lilly's standing over Clementine with her finger on the trigger... only to then be tackled by the person you didn't choose to spend time with.

They just saved Clementine's life only to be dragged away by their neck, and the game asks you what that's worth: They got captured saving you, so do you save them in return or do you remain loyal to the one you chose before?

And when you know the consequences of both routes, when you know Louis will have his tongue cut out and Violet will have her eyes burned?

Louis and Violet are good people at their cores who only wanted to be understood and loved, and no matter what, you have to abandon one of them for the other... and they are left physically and mentally traumatized because of it.

But wait, there's more. The one you didn't save will always survive to the end and act as a constant reminder of what you chose... but the one you saved? If you don't trust AJ, then you'll be forced to watch them get torn apart and eaten alive by a herd of walkers. The only way to save them is to trust AJ so that he shoots Tenn.

A child has to die in order for you to save the one you love again, a choice you indirectly made.

The ending shows you the one you didn't save, and it shows you Tenn's grave... and it presents a quiet question: was it worth it?

Would you make those choices again?

That's the power Louis and Violet bring to TFS.

That's why the choice matters.

We justify trusting AJ because we'd rather see Louis and Violet live over Tenn, knowing we're taking away the best friend AJ's ever had and allowing Minerva to get her way. We save Louis knowing that it breaks something inside of Violet and results in her permanently losing most of her eyesight. We save Violet knowing that we'll find Louis bloody and sobbing in the cell after having his tongue cut out of his mouth.

And we argue about it amongst ourselves even though it's all fucked. There isn't a true happy ending here, not for everyone.

Louis and Violet stand on their own as great characters, but you only get the true depth depending on how you play. They're excellent love interests because they care for Clementine. Through their relationship with her, they grow as people and find the acceptance and love they're starved for.

It's not perfect, but it honestly doesn't need to be. There was care woven into these characters. Both routes have a wide appeal. That means something to so many people.

I know we as fans often will say we wanted more, we wanted this and that, we wish this was different. It's not a dating sim where the main objective is to woo them. It's not a massive RPG with hundreds of hours to explore every nook and cranny of their characters. This is a Telltale game. It's a narrative with Clementine and AJ at the forefront, and it's up to you whether you want Louis or Violet to share that spotlight.

It's a story about Clementine finding a home, about molding what kind of survivor AJ comes. It's about Clementine meeting two broken people with glass shards at their feet, about her glass mixing with theirs. It's a game about choice; which glass pieces do you pick up, and which do you step on?

We should take more time to appreciate Louis and Violet. We should share our appreciation for the development team for giving us a bisexual lead with two great love interests, especially since we almost didn't get TFS in its entirety; we can hate Skybound as much as we want for the Clementine comics, but without them, this team wouldn't have been able to finish the game they were clearly passionate about.

We should have more self-awareness and try to understand why we like and dislike things without targeting others.

In conclusion?

I think they're both neat 👍

[project-sekai-facts]

Your recent update made me wonder about something. I don’t know how much you know about this but wanted to try asking anyway. Hopefully this makes sense? Why would the English translation choose to censor things? I assume translations are being done in America where queer things are slowly becoming more accepted but is that a factor? Are the translators themselves changing certain things due to their own biases? I don’t know who they are and don’t want to assume anything about them, but I can’t help wondering if that’s part of the reason? Or is it because of something like, for example, sometimes movies or TV shows have certain content removed based on where it’s being aired, so is it something like that? Is the game being released in regions where queer content is banned or removed? Now that I wrote it, I feel like this is the most likely answer but what do you think? I basically just rambled in your ask my bad. Also, do you know if the Korean and/or Taiwan servers have censorship too?

oh there's more than just the Asahi thing and i have mentioned it in passing before but i'll cover it properly here. "the miles i fell in love with is so cool" -> "it was so cool! i guess that's miles for you" is definitely the biggest example though.

First off, a minor thing. it doesn't really happen anymore but in the earlier translations they quite often use words other than partner, like "pals" and "buds", in the VBS story. Probably one of the best examples of this would be An and Kohane's 3rd kizuna title, which the JP name was often fan-translated as "Making each other better" or "Raising each other up", and is called "Two supportive pals" on EN. Which does have the same meaning but the "pals" seems so unneccesary when they could've used partners. The original text is Takameau futari, the first part means "to raise" or "to lift" and futari means "two people" or "a pair/couple". So it technically is a good enough translation but using pals when partners would be more accurate to canon just seems.. off.

I’m assuming their avoidance of the word partner is because it could easily be misinterpreted as romantic, but they seem to have moved on from that at this point.

There's also THE POWER OF UNITY where they switch out "love" (daisuki) for "cares about a lot" when KAITO is comparing the relationship between Arata and Souma to Akito and Toya. Daisuki literally means "likes a lot" so often you'll see people translate it as love, though likes a lot is still valid. "Cares about" is not a direct translation but definitely can still convey the same meaning, so again instance of valid localisation it just seems like an odd choice when using love would've conveyed the exact same meaning and been more true to the original.

Then you've got another instance of them not translating daisuki correctly in Dear Me, As I Was Back Then (sorry this one is a wiki screenshot my phone died). This is worse. Like I guess if you really want then it does have a close enough meaning to the original. Like I guess daisuki meaning "like a lot" or "love" could be localised as "you're the best" if you really wanted it too. But even then, the line before this is "I'm gonna show just how much I admire her!". Minori's shout of "I LOVE YOUUU" from the original would be way more fitting here. "You're the best" feels too casual and buddy-buddy - even if Minori didn't know Haruka at this point, Haruka still had a big impact on her life and imo "I love you" would be the best to use here.

There’s also this one from Walk on and on that removes one key thing. In the original, Toya says something more along the lines of “I was able to make this track because I want to continue to be a partner who can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you from now on and always”. This is a bit more similar to the Asahi incident in that they’ve restructured the sentence to make it two, adding in the thing about performing which isn’t even there originally, and replacing “korekara saki mo zutto” with “keep singing with you”. And “keep singing with you” still works, but it’s much more toned down, let’s say. You know what really is odd about this translation though? If the quote I put seems familiar, it’s because it’s also the name of Toya’s event card. Kinda odd they omitted that from the story then, huh? The thing is the translation of the card is very accurate so removing it from the story starts to seem intentional, especially when everything around it is accurately translated like with the Asahi incident. Also doing this removes the fact that the card name references the story so what the hell are you doing EN? It's the same sentence, if you can translate it correctly on the card you can translate it correctly in the story.

There's definitely more than this, this is just what came to mind first and I don't want to make this post too long.

These were certainly... choices. Especially with the ones that avoid translating daisuki as love because they do translate as that on other occasions, most frequently with An and Kohane. I'm assuming the reason they omitted it with the guys is because it's far harder to pass off guys saying that they love each other as platonic because societal expectations or whatever, but I'm actually surprised by the change to Dear Me because normally they're pretty good with Minori and Haruka usually. Like they've translated daisuki correctly for them before and leave in everything else that indicates Minori has a crush on Haruka, so why not this line?

I'm tempted to say that they just change the things that they think are too hard to safely pass off as platonic, but then again they left all of the unsubtle ship teasing in Buddy Funny Spend Time, which has a lot of focus on Minori and Haruka's relationship (and they even added in Haruka saying that Minori makes her heart tickle in her card story), so I'm genuinely not sure why they left that in but then changed one instance of Minori saying she loves Haruka which doesn't even have to be interpreted romantically. Like what is the limit here? An can say she's going on a date (with Kohane) and the WEG regulars can ask who she's been seeing, but Asahi can say he fell in love with Tsukasa's character and it gets removed. Both of them have romantic connotation. The only thing I can think of is that An's comes from a whole card story and event, but Asahi's is one line that's easy to remove. Same with Toya saying he wants to stay with Akito forever.

In other words, it's a mess and I don't think any of what I just wrote is coherent either.

Interpret all of this however you will at the end of the day it’s all just ship tease which is up to interpretation anyway. Except the Asahi thing. That one is a censor.

Oh and the KR and TW servers don’t do this.

[queer-reader-07]

the thing that gets me about the fandom’s reaction to azi and crowley’s Kiss is how many people somehow missed that the point of the Kiss was not to show they were in love.

i feel like you have to have SUCH a narrow view of what love looks like if you think that two people need to smooch for it to be love. azi and crowley are so unbelievably in love the whole of season 1 & 2 (and the book) and it’s SOOOO obvious. and we all knew that, right? we all knew that they had something going on, there was love there regardless of what kind of love you thought it to be. it was undeniably there.

and yet. so many people have talked about how the Kiss is “the proof they’re in love” or have wondered why beelzebub and gabriel didn’t kiss too. and i’m just like. what about gabriel and beelzebub’s dynamic needed a kiss? you can tell they’re in love and a kiss would’ve felt so awkward in my opinion.

and i think in the end what this boils down to is that i don’t think kisses are inherently romantic, and a lot of people apparently do think they are. and i don’t think you need to have two characters kiss for them to be in love. are azi’s stolen looks, genuine smiles, and desire for closeness not enough? is crowley running into the burning bookshop and walking on hallowed ground not enough? what about a kiss would make their love any more real?

that Kiss was crowley’s last ditch effort to tell azi how he felt. to convey what he means when he says he wants to be an Us. The Kiss was crowley realizing that the acts of service weren’t enough to show azi how he loved him, his words weren’t clear enough, he had to /show/ azi. that Kiss was not there to be a “oooo they’re so in love” moment. and i think a lot of people missed the point because they were happy that they kissed in general.

i honestly couldn’t have cared less if azi and crowley ever kissed. and i don’t really care if they get a “proper” kiss in season 3 (whatever that means). because what makes their love so special is that they don’t need physical intimacy for it to be clear to literally everyone that they’re in love.

i’d rather they get to ride in the bentley as they go off for an extremely alcoholic breakfast at the ritz while listening to tori amos’ rendition of a ‘nightingale sang in berkeley square’. i’d rather crowley be able to walk into the bookshop and be able to take his glasses off again, because it’ll finally be a safe space again. i’d rather they actually fucking talk to each other. and if they kiss? whatever. because kisses shouldn’t be the end all be all of what love is. they shouldn’t be the thing that *has* to happen for love to be valid and real.

and maybe that’s me being unpopular on main, but oh well.

[penultimate-step]

Love, Lies, and Romance: The 3 Ships of Oshi no Ko and 3 Thematic Resolutions

Oshi no Ko is a series deeply concerned with what it means to love and be loved. Ai's wish to love is what starts off the series; her love for her children, and their love for her in return, form the emotional fulcrum upon which the whole manga turns.

Romantic love, too, is a type of love. Aqua's three possible romantic relationships each represent three different interpretations of how to love, and how those relationships are treated is a reflection of how the series views those kinds of love.

For organization's sake, I'll go down the list in order of what I judge as least to most likely to occur in the manga itself.

Ruby - Love is Lies

I've already written a longer meta about this, but to summarize the relevant parts: Ruby, as depicted in chapters 77 to 142, doesn't understand Aqua, nor Gorou. She instead loves him for the image she's constructed of him in her head, for the way he makes her feel - but this has very little to do with the man himself. Her view on Aqua is, in my opinion, a direct parallel to Aqua's view of Ai - she puts him on a pedestal, idolizes him, but that same impetus is what has her mentally keeping a distance from his real self. You can see this all the way back in chapter 77. When she thinks of him, she first thinks of how he made her feel:

Now, this isn't on it's own a red flag, but it is contrasted directly afterward: when asked to predict his own actions and feelings, she's hilariously off:

I think many readers kind of wrote this off as a joke at the time, but this kind of thing lines up perfectly with her behavior in the movie arc. Not only is she inventing a backstory for him (does Gorou ever show romantic interest at all? Why would she assume he was in trouble with girls?) but more importantly she interprets his kind rejection as a tease, and his care to a friend and patient as romantic intent.

A version of the story in which Ruby is Aqua's love interest would literally validate Ai's famous quote, that lies are love - that the person doesn't matter, only how they make them feel does. And that is directly contrasted by, uh. The whole rest of the manga. But to pick a specific scene, see C9:

The kind of love where one person projects on another, the manga has shown us again and again, the kind of love that is lies, results in this. It cannot end happily, for anybody. If Ruby and Aqua end up dating for real, my next bet is that the story ends in tragedy, because that's the only end for that kind of love in Oshi no Ko.

Akane - Love is Lying

To Akane, love is an act - a lie. But hear me out, this is markedly different from Ruby's position. Akane, I think, is actually the closest of the main characters to Ai's mindset. She doesn't feel that she understands love, but she wants it, so she actively cultivates an image of herself that can show love. We know this well, of course, given her actions at the end of LoveNow. She creates a persona of love in chapter 28, much like Ai describes in 4.

And believes that regardless of the artificiality of it, she can keep up the act forever: to earn love through the act is to earn it in reality.

So you may be asking: what is the difference between what Akane is doing, and what Ruby is doing? Well, the difference is in the intention. It is not the lies that are the important part, but the lying - neither Akane nor Ai felt they knew how to love, but their desire to love, their care for others, that was all real love. The performance they put on for others was not an impersonal pedestal, but an active effort done for another's sake. It may be lying, but it is an act of love nonetheless.

If Aqua/Akane was the endgame ship of Oshi no Ko, it would be a simultaneous validation and rejection of Ai's worldview. Yes, if you care enough, lying can be love, if you are willing to forge that connection. But, in this paradigm, Ai's mistake was lying one-sidedly, to a faceless crowd. The crowd cannot return your love, not in a way other than idolization, and we discussed how that turns out in Ruby's entry. Akane's relationship, on the other hand, is much less one-sided and unhealthy, because she lies for Aqua's sake alone, and doesn't hide that she's doing it. As such, her performance can be recognized and appreciated as such, and he can reach back and return her love.

As such, while the lying is a performance, their relationship isn't a lie. The two of them start to see each other's real selves. The dynamic of two people who don't really understand love or how to love, performing a relationship together until they can learn how to do it together, is a sweet one. I could actually totally see this as the main relationship of Oshi no Ko.

But the actions of the characters make clear what the issue is in this kind of love. The seeds of this breakdown are set in chapter 72, which is ironically one of the ones that sets the dynamic up - even as they are trying to create an equal relationship, Akane decides to lie to him for his own good. After all, their relationship has already been established on the basis of lies. To lie for someone else's sake is inherently a one sided choice, and while in chapter 28 we can see it as a cute start to a relationship, it comes back around in a much more harmful way here:

which pays off in their grand breakup in chapter 98. Akane is willing to one-sidedly make the choice to kill Hikaru for Aqua's sake. Aqua, in return, refuses to let her make that choice, tracking her position, then stopping her and cutting her off for her own safety. While Akane is the one who calls him out for this, neither of them are treating the other as someone with agency, and both are making choices for the other. As such, in Oshi no Ko, lying cannot be love - you cannot impose your love on another.

Kana - Love is Sincerity

Kana, differently than Ruby and Akane, is defined in her moments of honesty and sincerity. She is an actress, yes, but even her acting is a kind that emphasizes her true self. There's too many pages to post here, but chapters 60-63 talk all about this directly - her modern acting is about hiding herself in order to aid others, but her best acting is when she ignores everybody else and acts to her heart's desire.

This same sincerity is what forms the basis of the Aqua/Kana ship. Unlike the two above ships, which are on some level founded on artifice, many of the moments between Kana and Aqua are focused on moments where they are each acting as their truest selves. Chapters where they interact, like 30 and 117, show that they both have an easy rapport, acting thoughtlessly and honestly. Chapter 40 points this out directly: Kana has the ability to draw Aqua out of his depressed and overthinking mindset, letting him be his unrestrained self.

This is similar to Ai's own actions in chapter 4. Though she normally puts on a facade and acts out love for the cameras and crowds, the one moment that she is truly recognized as smiling is the moment she accidentally lets slip, and shows true love for her children:

As such, Aqua/Kana serves as a complete repudiation of Ai's mindset. She was wrong that one can lie to love. The only way to love is to be honest, the only time she was able to honestly express love was the moment she died, when she was able to tell her children she loved them. If you aren't sure how to love, you must reach out honestly and you will find it. No act or performance can be love, no matter how well meant.

If this is the ship the manga ends on, which it could be, the message would be that love is in baring oneself to others. Hiding from others with lies, even when well intentioned, like Aqua does to Kana before chapter 107, is a mistake, and to love truly you need to face up to your own feelings and see the other person directly.

Finale

So, what does this all mean? It means that the romantic love demonstrated in the three ships are unavoidably intertwined with the story's ideas about love as a whole. However, his isn't necessarily a foolproof prediction of what the author plans to do next, or what ship the story endorses. Though obviously I think some of these are much more supported by the series than others, until we reach the end it is still possible that things will change, and it could go with any of these, or none of them. This is merely the lens in which I interpret the romantic interactions in the text.

In fact, it's entirely possible that the series ends with no romantic resolution at all, rejecting all three above views on love. After all, while the romantic relationships are undeniably important to the narrative, the love that started this whole story was Ai's familial love for her children - thus, I wouldn't be surprised if platonic love between family and friends will be the most important in resolving it. In any case, the question of how to love is a key part of the series, and will have to be resolved by the story's end.

[torimidori2-blog]

I'm poly, and I keep getting people who don't understand what the difference between polyamory, open relationships, and cheating, so let this be an educational moment for all the mono people out there.

Polyamorous is when someone is attracted to or in a relationship with more than one person at the same time. This is all with consent from everyone involved. A group of poly people who are dating are called a polycule. Just like regular monogamous relationships, poly relationships can consist of romantic, platonic, sensual, and sexual attraction, and can even be done with people who are aspec (on the ace spectrum).

An open relationship is when someone is attracted to more than one person, but the person who you're dating isn't attracted to the people you date. For example: if the relationship started of monogamous, and you decide you want to open the relationship in order to cater to a specific need that your current partner can't provide, that means you and your partner can see other people outside of your relationship with consent from your partner. Just like poly people, this can also be done between people who are aspec and you could have different reasons for wanting another separate relationship, whether you need a sensual, sexual, romantic, or platonic/queer platonic relationship. In my opinion, I think open relationships should be a last resort after communicating with your partner enough to where you both realize that your relationship needs aren't being met, but you still care enough about each other to still want to be together.

Cheating is when someone in a committed relationship sees other people without consent from their significant other(s). The reason why cheating is bad, is not because they're dating someone else, it's because you trusted them to not break the boundaries of the relationship by seeing other people, and they did anyway.

Even if you're in a poly relationship, you can cheat because if you didn't trust your partners enough to tell them that you're interested in seeing someone else and it breaks their boundaries and makes them feel violated and uncomfortable, that's cheating. It's also a danger to the polycule because they don't know the person you brought in and they weren't aware of you bringing them in. Why would you not tell your cule who you're dating when they're usually comfortable with letting more people in? For all we know, they could hurt the cule, or hurt you, or they could be hiding something themselves.

Someone who tells you that their actually poly after they got caught cheating is a blazing red flag. Cances are, they're just trying to find a valid excuse to cheat and get away with it. Someone who tells you that they want to open a relationship before sorting out the issues in their current relationship is a blazing red flag. Especially if you have a solution to the problems that you're facing, and it could've been solved through negotiating with your partner.

To be honest, as a poly person, I don't understand why cheating is a thing. For one, it could be because being monogamous is the societal norm, and seeing other people is a means of trying to secretly bypass that norm, but I don't think thats the case seeing that there is a whole cheating culture that proudly says that they like to cheat and gloat about how many people they play on a constant basis. It could be the fact that people just think that emotions are a game to be played with, or it could be some sort of insecurity that they have with the relationship they started before they decided to cheat. But fr, can someone tell me the reason why people cheat? I don't understand, and I need a real valid answer. Not some "They were boring and I don't like them anymore." because you can either do one of two things there, break up with them, or talk to them about how you feel and tell them what you want from them moving forward.

[studentbyday]

week 3 / small commitments challenge “There is no race to win. Only a stroll.”

Yes, emerging adulthood is a privileged phenomenon. But with great privilege comes great responsibility and I sometimes feel the need to know exactly what I want in life from career to friendships to romantic relationships to family and how I will handle challenges in each of those domains that may have a chance at or will definitely come my way in order to be responsible. But that's an impossible ask at this stage of my life. I don't even think I can know all of what I want in life for decades to come. I keep changing. And it would not be wise now to run around in circles, chasing my tail, coming to no conclusions, or to rush the decision making process and come to conclusions that aren't well thought out. Sometimes I feel like I should make these decisions faster whenever I see others in my life around my age making them or having made them already or just generally progressing faster in life than I am. And other times, for seemingly no reason at all, I pick up the issues again from the backburner in case this time I stop chasing my tail...but that hasn't happened yet.

We all have different experiences that lead us to our varied and valid conclusions. Perhaps my peers have just experienced enough to come to theirs. Which means I just have to keep exploring different options until I feel informed enough to make those decisions for myself. And when I've made those decisions, I'll have to commit to them fully (well, 99.9%) so that I can be free in mind to become as good as I can at whatever I decide to do. This doesn't mean I'll stop re-assessing my circumstances periodically as that's how one spots better opportunities and improves themselves, but equally important is only changing direction when there are objectively good reasons to, not just because strong feelings of FOMO or self-doubt pull me so (those feelings can and have been useful in telling me when smth is genuinely wrong about my current situation but they can also be to my detriment when they arise primarily because of the voice in my head whose sole purpose is to be a pessimistic nay-sayer/bully).

hours spent stu(dying) 😭 tomato garden (50/10): M: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 Tu: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 W: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅+(1/2 🍅) Th: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 F: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 (so tired, i had to take a nap 😪) S: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 Su: 🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

In other news, the ochem midterm was this week. I studied as hard as I could for it all week, but that meant I didn't start on the new module (not covered on the midterm) for this week, hence the absence of a true weekend 😭 3 more weeks to go (including 1 week JUST to review for final woohoo!! [no that isn't sarcasm, i genuinely need that time lol]) and then we're NOT doing any more ochem at uni (self-study, maybe, but istg never again in a squished timeframe like this 😭). (Also wowwww can you tell i'm tired by the number of times i repeat the same words and emojis in a short paragraph... Adrenaline [or is it the sun? 😒] had me waking up before my alarm all week, averaging 7 hours of sleep a night 😭)

[vegasandhishedgehog]

Just a non-comprehensive list of all the things P'Jojo touched on throughout the entirety of The Warp Effect:

The harm of forcing teens to promise absolute abstinence from sex while not providing space for safe and open discussions about it

Some people have a strong sense of their sexuality/gender identity. Others don't

Even guys who seem like good ones can do horrible things and be unaware. They are not required to be forgiven no matter how guilty they feel

Being single by choice is not shameful

Fwb is not shameful either

No one has any right to expect more out of a relationship when you have communicated what you are up for up front

Female friendship is a beautiful, wonderful thing, why would we pit so many bad bitches against each other when they're cooler as friends?

Nonsexual kinks are valid and with the right person can make for a beautiful relationship

There are several methods for pregnancy and it's important to discuss things with your donor (if you've chosen one personally)

Listen to your partner! It is actually possible to be together for a decade and still be unaware of something they like/dislike!

You can be forgiven for being shitty in high school but that is not up to you, it's only up to the person you have wronged

Always know the age of whoever you're talking to so you don't accidentally sleep with a minor

Fatphobia and transphobia have never been cool

Trauma hurts and the journey to work through it is difficult. It's not wrong to want to reconcile with someone and find that you can't. It's not wrong to try to push past it numerous times. It is not your fault someone ruined what should be a good experience for you

Nonsexual intimacy is valid and the right partner will work with you to understand your needs

The choice to have children is a really big one and no it should not be an excuse to keep the relationship together. The choice not to doesn't always have to break it up either

Abortion is a personal matter and should be done safely and legally

STDs have all sorts of origins and are an important matter to address in terms of being polyamorous or even going from one partner to the next. They are also not a reason to feel shame and are simply a matter of getting proper treatment and abstaining from sex while healing. Straight couples can get them, it isn't just a gay stereotype

Anyone can have a romantic relationship and not have sex

Parenting from afar isn't being responsible, but it is still possible to create a relationship with your estranged child

Dick size is nothing to be concerned about - you can find someone who enjoys a sexual relationship with you no matter what

It is so important to see your doctor. If that doctor makes you uncomfortable, though, you should be fine to leave and go somewhere else

Gay does not mean pedophile and it's important for you and your children to know the difference because there are gay teachers and coaches who have enough on their shoulders

Cheating doesn't have to include anything physical if you're seeking pleasure from someone who is not your partner and have not discussed such things with your partner or the person you cheat with

Sex work should not be criminalized and more of us need to standing up for the rights of sex workers

Masturbation is normal and doesn't have to be treated as sad or pathetic

Cishet people can be amazing allies. You can have your group of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and trans people with a bunch of them included and it can be a fabulous group

Casting agents that don't allow for body and gender diversity don't deserve their job

The show gave us a whole PSA on pelvic exams????? HELP??????

ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SEX NO MATTER WHAT YOUR AGE, ORIENTATION, OR IDENTITY IS - ALWAYS HAVE A PROPER DISCUSSION AND STICK TO WHAT EVERYONE CONSENTS TO. ALWAYS

I swear I'm still missing stuff but everything that The Warp Effect said is so special to me

[lesbianmarrow]

hiiiii can i get ur lesbian reading on willow's crush on xander. because i have my own thoughts but i wanna hear yours

this is such a fun question ehehehe. my answer will veer into headcanon/speculation and i may change my mind once i get farther into the show, but here's how i see it right now.

so i think there are a lot of factors at play! part of it is willow mistaking her platonic feelings for xander for romantic/sexual feelings, because she doesn't understand that there's like....something else that you can feel? if that makes sense? like i think that in her mind kissing and sex and stuff are just like a gesture to show someone how much you love them, not something that you have a desire for. like it's something you do to prove that you love each other the most. so in her mind she's like yes of course i want to kiss xander :3 because it would prove the strength of her love for him.

and i think a big factor is willow wanting to be like other girls, since she's a bit of a misfit socially. i think she clings to the idea of her and xander together as something that might maybe happen because it would make her a little bit more normal and conventional. willow isn't super bothered by people finding her weird, but i think the additional weirdness of not liking boys correctly is a daunting idea for her and something she doesn't want to believe is true for herself, so she pushes it to the back of her mind.

a lot of it is also just the environment she exists in and the framework by which she understands the world. girls like boys, and she is a girl, so she likes boys. and xander is the boy she's closest to, so obviously she must be in love with him. willow tends to have romantic ideas about the world, and i think the narrative of being in love with her best friend appeals to her. i think she imagines they'll grow up and get married someday, but she doesn't actually think about what that means besides having him in her life forever. willow is a very solitary person, and maybe a lonely one too. xander falling in love with her would be a surefire way for her to keep one of the only people she feels truly knows and understands her in her life. so she hopes that if her love for him is strong enough then maybe he'll never leave her and they'll have their fairytale ending.

i think it's also about her sense of self-worth. willow is very shy and probably struggles with feelings of inferiority (what teenager doesn't?). and she thinks that if she can attain xander's love, then that will prove she is worthy of love and respect. so the crush becomes less about attraction to him and more about proving her worth. the flip side of that is that since xander isn't interested in her in that way, that worsens her feelings of inferiority. i think she feels that, if she can only get him to love her, then everything will be perfect. a lot of what she seems to enjoy about dating oz is the personal validation and the social clout, and it would be similar with xander (though less social clout. lol).

but i think there's also a paradoxical aspect to her crush which is that deep down she senses that he isn't interested in her, and so that makes him a safe target for her to have a crush on, because he won't actually reciprocate. i think if he did genuinely show interest in her, she'd be happy for about ten minutes and then would panic and spiral. but since he never does, she can safely crush on him without having to worry about actually being with a boy or thinking about how she doesn't really want to be with boys.

i do feel like a lot of willow's performance of attraction for xander really is just performance. like she sees how buffy acts over boys and she tries to match that, because she wants to seem cool and mature just like buffy. when willow is ogling xander in a speedo, i don't think she really cares for the sight. i think she's just doing what she knows she's supposed to. and maybe she's fooling even herself! but she can't fool me ;)

i definitely think willow feels attracted to other girls and women but a) doesn't understand what it is (it's normal to think other girls are pretty, right?) and b) represses it really really hard. so her perception of herself is as a totally normal straight gal who likes boys :)

anyway when i was 14 i was majorly in love with this boy and i would fantasize about us sitting together holding hands and not saying anything. but the fantasy was all about me soaking up the validation of being chosen by him and good enough to be wanted by him. i think that's willow's fantasy too.

[bloggingboutburgers]

I need some help.

So, I have this friend who’s Aro/Ace, and we have a very close group of us and like 2 other people. He recently came out to this group, and we’re all super supportive. He actually came out to me before the others, and I helped encourage him to tell them.

I am demisexual, and was planning on telling these same people around that time, but he got there first, and I didn’t want to be a jerk so I waited like a day to tell them, but I’m not sure if I waited long enough. He‘s also being weird about me being demi, and kind of treating me like I’m not really part of the same community, like, just little comments, not malicious or anything, but lots of little things.

I was the one to introduce him to all the fun ace memes, like, garlic bread, and such, and I’m the one who explained the difference between romantic and sexual attraction to him, and I introduced him to qprs, but he still treats me like I’m not the same.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting, but I’m already insecure about being aspec, but not fully ace, so it’s just kinda freaking me out. Should I talk to him about it? Just deal with it? I don’t know. I don’t want to „me too“ his identity, but I don’t want to be erased.

Thanks.

Is that like... Ace gatekeeping of sorts...? Man I'm sorry you're going through this, that sounds awkward.

Sorry I'm replying so late, I hope I'm not too late, but... Yeah, personally I would recommend talking to him about it, to find out why he's doing this. I have no idea what's going on here, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he might have felt your coming out might have undermined his in ways, even though that wasn't your intention at all and now HE's undermining yours...

Coming out is a very personal experience that should be up to a person's choice on when and how it's best to do it, so it's important for him to be able to respect yours like you did your best to respect his.

Being queer, and being on the asexual spectrum, is also very personal and CAN lead one to being defensive after having been othered for so long, not sure why, maybe 'cus we're afraid we might be damaged in the process or reduced to an image we don't wanna be reduced to. I mean... I don't know if it's a universal experience, but for instance, while I'm always happy to meet other aros and aces, I have trouble engaging in aroace-dedicated communities (welp... mostly 'cus I'm afraid of groups) but also and mostly, every time I get recommended a work with aro or ace characters in it, it hardly ever fails to give me a massive nervous stomachache and make me want to put off checking out said work forever, 'cus... I think I'm scared of finding out the many ways my identity can get undermined in the process, ironically.

I'm not sure what causes this. Maybe growing up in a reality that's so hostile to being on the aro and ace spectrums fucked me up. And maybe there's something like that going on for him too, though I don't wanna project at all. I can only ever speak about my own experience.

Either way... Both of you are valid in both of your ways, he shouldn't be gatekeeping anything, indirectly or not, especially when you've been so open to sharing your experience, and yeah, you're not the same, but you're on the same spectrum, and there are part of your struggles that you share, and he should respect that. Just because your experience doesn't 100% align with his doesn't undermine either of you. You're in this together and you should be able to have each others' backs. I sincerely hope you can talk it out and I hope he doesn't get too defensive about it... But yeah, I hope you can get your feelings across to him as well, 'cus you don't deserve this. I sincerely wish you both the best.

[mapoeggplant]

skip to loafer chapter 57 // spoiler

skip to loafer once again reming us that romantic love isn’t the only way to love someone wholeheartedly.

i’m extremely happy that we finally have the girl’s reaction about shima and mitsumi’s relationship, but what makes me even happier is the way mitsumi is treating the whole break up and the way she’s always taking care of the people she love.

we all know how hard it was for her to open up with the girls, afraid that they would, somehow, treat shima differently. for her, what mattered the most was her friendship with him and how much she cared for him and his well being, not romantic love or anything like that.

to see this on a teenage slice of life series is SO meaningful and SO important. it really highlight the importance of platonic feelings and how valid they are, about how it’s important to love someone for who they are, and not something exclusively romantic.

exactly what makoto wanted to say: to love someone (with “a capital L”) is to hope they are happy, content, being treated right and comfortable with who they are, whit what they are feeling. that what it means to love someone, not something only based on romantic feelings.

why does it matter so much if they broke up if they are still friends that care a lot about each other? why would they risk losing something so important for them when their own feelings were so hard to understand? why not love someone platonically?

i’m just so overwhelmed with happiness. it means so much to me that mistumi was able to open up and REALLY get in touch with her feelings and her ONW well being. she’s not being selfish, she’s not playing with anyone’s feelings: she’s focusing on what she believes is right and what makes her and the ones she love happy. do we really need something rather than their own joy? if any romantic feeling is to grow, it has to come calmly and with clear feelings. i’m extremely happy for her.

other thing that brings me immense joy is how important the friendship between the girls are and how celebrated it is. to see them together, ready to share everything, making friendship bracelets, loving each other endlessly…how gorgeous this is. how meaningful. how strong.

i hope the message of “loving someone for who they are” that skip to loafer loves to emphasize will continue for a long time — and hope that it will keep on growing. i’m proud of my darling girl, proud of how wonderful she is. wish nothing but happiness for her.

well, it would be weird if i didn’t talk about shima, right? i mean, this is my thread and all…i need to talk about him. it’s clear how shaken he is after his talk with mukai over the break and how he’s still thinking about his own feelings in relation to mitsumi and himself.

it’s hard for him to understand it all and i hope he keeps on swimming on this feeling for some time until he’s confident enough with it. i don’t want to see him making the same mistakes again and hurting himself and other people. i want him to get truly in touch with his heart.

this will be an amazing and incredible adventure to read. i can’t wait to see love flourishing between all of these amazing kids. can’t wait to see them growing, to see them sparkling. wish them nothing but happiness! 💛

this was a very small and fast thread, but i’m thinking on writing a bigger one in a few days. right now i’m enjoying my time with my family, with my cousins that i haven’t seen in a while. hope you are all happy and having a great time too!!! i also wish to write a thread about mika’s reaction and her feelings about all of it. but…in a few days, not now. need to study more.

anyways, thank you as always for reading and for the kind comments!! will love to discuss with you guys one more time. 💛💛💛