#also I know we're bringing it up in the dnd context which I have no experience with but that's also just a video game thing

[rotisseries]

the dungeon crawl thing sounds like it would be so fucking cool actually

[thatoneguy031]

Can I talk about something? Out of character, I mean.

It's a long post, but you don't have to read it if you're not interested. It's more of a vent post than anything else.

I've been having a hard time with this blog. Not in the popularity sense, this is what I expected from this kind of thing. I mean like... I don't know what to do with it. I've experimented with a few things(You can go way back in my post history if you want to see what I mean), but those ideas sorta fell flat, no?

This was originally meant to be a storytelling blog. I wanted to share my little synopses of my characters and plot points or whatever, because I was genuinely proud of what I've done so far.

Then I resorted to trying to be a comedian. I would try to post something funny under most reblogs, leaving them be if I couldn't come up with a remark of any kind.

It wasn't until recently that I decided to turn this into a Pokemon IRL blog, and I'm not even doing that well with this. That, and I'm afraid that I come off as self-centered, so I cut any posts that give that kind of vibe. Heck, I even tried doing a playthrough series, but I keep forgetting about it, and when I do remember that it exists, I just postpone the next update to oblivion.

I really want to keep this blog going, and trust me when I say I'm going to, but it's not going anywhere, and I feel like nothing is happening. At first, I thought it was just Tumblr having boring days, but I realized that I'm just not doing anything entertaining. My blog just turned into a pool of reblogs with the occasional Pokemon-related post or rant. And I mostly wait for either @the-one-from-dres or @drizzileiscool to bring up the occasional topic that I might have enough insight to talk about. Sorry for @'ing you guys, by the way, I just need folks to know who I'm talking about. Y'all the goats.

Once I got my drawing tablet, I thought that I could do a bunch of art stuff, but then it devolved into the same potential self-obsession problem, where I would just draw that one character(which is literally just a Samurott with anxiety and a Goku complex, let's be honest with ourselves here) over and over again. I have other characters I can draw, and I'm even taking free art requests. Granted, I haven't gotten any requests yet, but the option was still there.

And that's how we got here. I have to retake my Regents in literally under 24 hours, and I'm bitching and moaning about how I'm not getting anywhere in my ha-ha internet blog, which everyone already takes as a joke anyway.

If anything, I think my problem comes from a lack of communication. There was this like, 4 day period that I didn't hear a word from Dres, and I thought he hated me for something I did, until he involved me in 3 back-to-back reblog games literally the next day.

I still feel awful about it now, it was so petty of me to even think that way. For context, Dres might as well be my day one, and he's inadvertently taught me the ins and outs of Tumblr, like how to use tags and things like that. Hell, we even played DnD together once. No exaggeration, he's the closest thing I've had to a real friend in years, and I'm convinced that's only the case because he hasn't seen me in person.

I love him deeply, and only wish the best for him. To think that he'd leave me after I did basically nothing, I've really hit a new level of desperate. He likely had his own things to do, while I'm still stressing about things that probably don't even matter in hindsight.

Back to my original point, I want to do a lot more on this blog, and I also wanted to make it a chill place.

That's one of the reasons why I don't talk about politics myself. I don't want to get involved in things like that at all, because I want people to live without worry. The furthest I go with that kind of thing is "Stop being dicks to each other. We're people, deal with it." I know it's more complicated than that, but at this point, I'm almost scared to get involved in that kind of thing. I don't even know what a terf is. I didn't know Rowling was a bad person until recently when Drizzile was talking about her.

And it's like, I don't even know why it's so hard to talk to people for me. But at the same time, I think I really have something wrong with me, but I'm too scared to get it checked out. And, while I'm not getting into personal details, I don't have the right circumstances to even have that happen in the first place. That's the out of character reason why I say I might have ADHD, instead of outright saying I have it. I literally can't get it diagnosed myself if I wanted to, and I don't do the self-diagnosis stuff because I always get paranoid and think my problem is worse than it is. For example, I've convinced myself three times within the past year and a half that I had appendicitis, because I would get this really specific pain in my stomach. Guess who I told about it?

No one. I was terrified of wasting someone's time just for it to be me freaking out over nothing, and if I'm being honest, I still am. At this point, I have a plethora of things wrong with me, I know that now, but I don't ever get them checked out. I'm doing well so far with them, why worry about it now.

I just don't want to offend anyone. All I wanted to do was make a place where I and other people could have fun.

This is still going to primarily be a Pokemon IRL blog, but I'm doing something different. Please, if there's anything you all want to see on here, let me know. Stuff for Guy, art stuff, whatever floats your boat besides the obvious. And I'll do my best to keep up with my stories and fanfics or whatever. Once I get my stuff settled again, obviously, but I don't want to make it seem like I'm doing this for myself.

I don't want to turn this into a pity party. I really don't. At this point, I'm sick of having people worry about me. Whenever they do, I feel like I'm being an attention hog, and it sucks. If you did read this, thanks for listening. I just needed to get this much off my chest.

[tsuyu-season]

Im on mobile so imagine the oc question emoji, but would love to know more about fave god fighter Nuffink?? 👀👀 (if DND ocs count)

Love it when I throw things in the queue or schedule them to just... straight up forget about them right afterwards. I'm also on mobile, I haven't touched my laptop since I've arrived at my parents last weekend (rip learning for those make up tests I will have in January...) so the lay out of this may come out a bit wonky. Anyway yes! I would love to talk about my boy Nuffink!

First of all, I kinda had very very little before the first session. I didn't even had a name, but because the campaign had a nordic session and I was in kinda a httyd mood I just went through the list of character names there and settled on Nuffink. I also do not have a family name because I'm just really bad at names. I'll claim that it is something no of the other characters know because Nuffinks family never really shared with the village, but it really is because I don't know. He also has like, parents and siblings. I wouldn't be able to tell you their names, because once again, I'm bad at names.

So maybe a little bit of context/background info for other people reading this: Nuffink is my wood-elf Fighter D&D character for a campaign played with my friendgroup from high school/secondary school. We all started in a cosy village in an undefined Scandinavian setting (with the norse gods very much alive). The gang consists of a Halfling Bard, a Dragonborn Ranger and a Firbolg Druid. I was very much considering also making my character a ranger but 1) my only other D&D character I had fully made at that point was a woold-elf ranger and 2) I kinda wanted to bring a bit of variety to the group. We all died in the first session, somehow got into Valhalla and then recieved a special mission for "Odin" (it was a trick from Loki). Nuffink managed to pick up a sword at some point that is called Fred and he is a BLAST and also strong magical. (In the end I do not regret the fighter class either! Looking at the different classes was actually way more fun then sticking to ranger.)

Now what more about Nuffink? I discussed it with our DM, but I kinda decided that Nuffink was like 67, which in Wood-Elf terms is not yet an adult. (Adult age is around 100 years for elf races) Nuffinks family was a Blacksmith family and the idea before we all died was that Nuffink would leave after the festival for a different village and a different blacksmith (dwarven) to learn there. This is also why he had weapon training and stuff, protecting himself while on the road, travelling to his internship place. Except, well, we died. You might remember that that "first day in Valhalla" session all Nuffink did was sulk and not cooperate. This was because dying was not at all part of the plan and also shit went really fast and Nuffink didn't exactly have time to process all that happened. It turned around a little bit, but Nuffink is still bitter that he died so young and definitely will resent Loki for that for a long, long time (who btw, was responsible for the gang's dead).

What is also partially because I was still heavily adjusting to the everything online way of things, I at times was very distracted/not paying attention and also I remember very little names. I just decided that these shortcomings of mine are also things Nuffink doesn't do well. Basically I just gave him ADHD as well (like when he rust ran away from the group and impulsively started attacking Loki), bc we're self projecting on our D&D characters here. I tried to not have those things with Lynn (my character for another game with the same group) but it is... hard sometimes. I also for sure play the impulsiveness bigger then I experience it myself in my daily life, even when off ADHD meds, but yeah...

Anyway I love my fighter boy who impulsively chucked his magical sword at Loki and then passed out because of exhaustion. while the fight was far from finished. I didn't regret that move, it was very much in character. The fight after that for me personally was a bit easy to get distracted from, bc I had nothing to do. Still would do it again.

I hope I gave you some new info on him? I'm not sure what I did and didn't tell during the sessions ^^;

"Send me a 🖊️ + an OC."