#also I love to reflect my anxiety and depression onto Jared

[the-awkward-writer]

Towers

Pairings: Jared x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: Angst, swearing, fighting

A/N: This is my entry for @chaos-and-the-calm67‘s Milestone Celebration! The song that I chose was Towers by Little Mix. Obviously, I love Jared. This is meant with no disrespect at all. It’s just a work of fiction. This is also complete and utter shit, so I sincerely apologize for that. I’ve been having a bit of writer’s block recently and this definitely reflects that.(P.S. The rules said that you were going to send me a gif, but I never got one, so I just used my own)

x

You met the man you thought you were going to marry in a bar.

He was tall, sweet, and handsome. The two of you talked over drinks and got to know each other. Before the two of you left the bar, you had already made plans to meet up the next week for coffee.

The first date was phenomenal. As was the second. And third. And fourth. And thirtieth. Not that you were counting or anything.

On the, what, fifth date? The man took you to a bar, this time. He bought you drinks and told you about his past. How he struggled with depression and self esteem issues. In return, you told him about your own skeletons. Your abusive childhood and anxiety struggles. “Well aren’t we just perfect for each other?” You raised your glass.

“Two equally fucked up adults with alcohol. Never was there a better pair,” he clinked his glass to yours in a toast, and the two of you simultaneously tipped your drinks back.

Yeah, Jared Padalecki was the one for you.

Jared Padalecki was the one for you.

You realized that Jared Padalecki was not the one for you on January 13th. It was a Friday.

You were exhausted from your shifts at the hospital as a social worker. You took on some really tough cases that hit very close to home.

When you got home, you immediately sprinted for your favorite sweats. You were prepared to spend the weekend alone with some wine and Netflix. The perfect de-stressor after the most intense week of your life.

You had settled down with The Office on Netflix and a brand new bottle of wine when your phone started to vibrate on the coffee table. A quick glance at the clock revealed that it was just past 8, the usual time that your boyfriend, Jared, called you.

You slid the green button, holding the phone up to your ear. “Hey, babe!” You greet him, trying to sound upbeat.

“Hey, how are you?” Jared’s voice filled your ears.

“I’m about ready to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep for the next two weeks, how about you?” You knew you sounded dramatic.

“I’m good. We got a lot of filming done today, so they let me go early,” he said. You would be lying if you said you weren’t a little disappointed that he didn’t ask you more about your day.

You sighed heavily, “That’s nice, Jare,” you pick at a loose thread on your sweatpants, “Look, I’m exhausted so I’m just going to go to sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Jared said, clearly offended, “Yeah, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

You hung up, turned off your phone, and tossed it to the opposite side of the couch. You were in a really bad mood, and you didn’t want to deal with anything.

You had just gotten settled back down when a knock sounded on your door, “Jesus Christ, I do not care about your godly pamphlets,” you muttered as you walked sluggishly to your door.

You flung it open, not bothering to check who it was. “Hey, baby,” Jared greeted you.

You took a step closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck, “Hey, what are you doing here?”

“I told you, filming wrapped up so they let us go early,” he said with a smile, leading you back into your apartment.

You forced a smile onto your face, “That’s neat.”

“Sure is,” Jared smirked, leaning down and peppering kisses down your neck.

You shoved him away, “Jared, please stop. I don’t want to tonight,” you said firmly.

Jared respected your wishes and backed off before excusing himself to go to the bathroom. You sighed as you sat down on the couch. Shouldn’t you be more happy that he’s here? Excited that he came home early? You knew you should be, but you couldn’t help but feel even more annoyed by his presence. You just wanted one night to relax and unwind.

A few minutes later, Jared emerged from the bathroom, “What are we watching?” He asked, flopping down beside you.

“I am watching The Office,” you supplied, taking a sip of your wine.

“Ugh, I’ve already watched this twice,” Jared said. He took the remote right out of your hand and exited out of the Netflix program, switching to sports instead.

“Uhm, excuse you?”

Jared looked at you out of the corner of his eye, “What? The Heat is playing tonight!”

You nearly scoffed at his feeble argument, “I was watching a show. This is my TV, my remote, my house. Change it back.” You knew it was petty, but you were in no mood to deal with it.

Jared laughed, “No.”

Your nostrils flared and your blood boiled, “Get out.”

Jared did a double take, “What?”

You snatched the remote from his hand, “Get the fuck out.”

Jared rolled his eyes, “I think you’re being a little over dramatic,” Jared said, holding his hands up, “Are you on your period?”

You saw red. You stood up from your place on the couch and stomped over to Jared’s bags. You heaved them into the hallway quickly, “What the hell are you doing?” Jared yelled from behind you.

“Get the hell out of my apartment!”

“You’re kicking me out over a TV show? That’s kind of pathetic, Y/N,” Jared said.

You slammed the door shut; you didn’t want your neighbors to hear your next words.

“No, Jared. I am kicking you out because you don’t give a fuck about me. I try to tell you how awful my week was, but you just ignore me. I try to watch some TV on a television that I pay for, but I can’t even do that, and I can’t even show how upset I am because apparently you’ll assume that I’m on my period!” Your voice rose in pitch until you were nearly hysterical. You took a deep breath, calming yourself slightly, “So get out and don’t come back.”

“So that’s it?” Jared questioned. “You’re just going to break up with me over one stupid argument?”

You sighed, this was going to take a lot more than you expected, “No, Jared. I’ve been feeling this way for a while now,” you said truthfully.

“What did I do?” Jared’s voice was filled with hurt and anguish.

“You know about my past. I also know about yours. I am always there to support you, but when I need some support of my own, I come up empty handed.”

Tears began to form in Jared’s eyes, “Come on, Y/N,” he said, reaching out for you, “We can work this out.”

Your own tears began to pool, “No. We can’t, Jared. I can’t be with someone that doesn’t want to support me.”

“Baby please,” Jared begged as his tears began to fall.

You shook your head vigorously, “No, Jared. This is the end. Goodbye.”

Jared looked you in the eyes, realizing that he fucked up the best thing that he’s ever had. He grabbed his jacket from the dining chair, “Can we still be friends?” To Jared, his voice sounded pathetically desperate.

It was hard to talk around the giant lump in your throat, but you managed to get the word out, “No.”

With that one single word that echoed in his brain and destroyed his heart, Jared Padalecki left your apartment.

Jared Padalecki never stopped believing you were the one for him.

i know it’s trash. i’m sorry.

tags: want to be added or removed? shoot me an ask!

Forevers:

@evyiione, @iputthesininbuisness, @mogaruke, @thatshellfiredean, @jannalionheart, @thing-you-do-with-that-thing, @whit85-blog, @allofmyimagination, @ria132love, @stressedbisexualwinchester, @infinity-dreamchaser, @not-impala