#also absolutely controversial opinion but a pronoun option

[lilirot]

Now all the devs have to do is add some form of accessibility mode to ruri tunes and lower the amount of tasks needed to complete dailies and all my gameplay complaints that CAN be addressed will have been addressed. Now CGs and Full voice acting in the main story :)

[brainrotdotorg]

THE GRAND RESULTS OF THE SEXIEST SKILL POLL

What it says on the tin. I was curious to see what the fandom's consensus would be, so I held this informal poll of which skill from each skill group was sexiest- I probably should have polled for a week, but to be fully honest, I'm just impatient. If someone would like to do more formal data collection, I am all for it. Right now I am running a poll between all the finalists- which you can vote in here- to determine who is the all-time sexiest skill, so do that after you read these results : ) To everyone who voted, thank you for your valuable input! We got 698 votes overall in intellect, 698 in psyche, (balance!) 744 in physique, (expected, knew physique would be controversial) and 666 (underappreciated gang) in motorics. So the sample size is a touch skewed, but what are you gonna do? Let's crack into these ratings! I'll set up each placement with how many votes they got and reasonings for why they placed there- from both me and those who offered their own opinions (thank you to everyone who did that by the way, extremely valuable input.) plus their items that offer stat bonuses (which I think is fair game to help determine sexiness). Also if the pronouns surprise you I'm just using the headcanons that I have lmfao sorry I'm scrambling the genders of these brain beasts and there is nothing you can do about it And remember, the real winner here is… Harry, because he gets to have all 24 of these sexy singles rattling around in his brainspace. Or that makes him a loser. Up for debate. Anyway.

INTELLECT RESULTS: Coming in at number 6, with 5% of the votes (35 overall)… Logic. Oof. The absolute lowest ranked out of ALL the skills, what a way to start. Sorry, man. Maybe he's just too clinical for his own good, maybe it's because he seems a little unapproachable, or maybe he just doesn't have that special something. The unfortunate visual comparison to Measurehead's portrait doesn't help out. Not unattractive by any means, but he doesn't have the sex appeal. Logic is the opposite of passion, after all. It's hard to imagine him ravishing anybody- just quick, efficient, not very hot. Would also be hard to kiss him what with the shifting face-pieces. His stat is boosted by FALN "Pipo" Pipo (+2), Samaran Conical Hat (+1), Flip-up Glasses The Auditor (+1), Interisolary Dress Shirt (+1), Korojev Jacket (+1). This outfit is a disaster, I'm sorry. The conical hat alone is enough to ruin it. You have so many options and all of them are bad. This really does put the L in Logic. REASONS YOU VOTED:

i chose logic because. idk i saw someone draw it full body once and thought that he looked very fuckable

(that was it that was the only reason for Logic given lmfao) Coming in at number 4-5, with a tie! Already! 9%, 63 votes each, we have Encyclopedia and Rhetoric! Honestly, I can see it. Encyclopedia is very knowledgeable, you definitely couldn't make the argument that he would be inexperienced. Knowledge is hot! On a purely aesthetic level too, he's got a nice face. Very kissable lips. But that's not enough to carry you into the Sexy category. Where's the spark? The zest? Sure, he knows a lot, but is he capable of executing what he's studied? His stat is boosted by Dick Mullen's Hat (+1) and Mega-Bino's Prescription Lenses (+2). Could look good? Maybe? And Rhetoric. Right off the bat, he is a comrade, so that is pretty sexy. Rhetoric can talk the talk, but we can't be sure they can walk the walk. We can see what that mouth do, also, but he looks a little teethy for my taste. Being opinionated can be very attractive, but it can also get grating. Dirty talk could turn into a debate. Unless that's your thing, it could kill the mood. They can't quite make the cut here, at least for me. His stat is boosted by Medal The Setting Sun (+1) and White Polo Shirt (+1). Doesn't really scream "sexy" to me. REASONS YOU VOTED:

encyclopedia#knows what i know bb

encyclopedia#i mean look at his hair

rhetoric for the aggressive politics#having an argument really does it for me

rhetoric is literally sucking a dick

"Rhetoric because I like it the most. I don't know if it's sexy in the classical sense, but I like someone who can be reasoned with and is willing to work things out with you. Resistant to bullshit. That's hot." Coming in at number 3, with 21% of the votes (147 overall) we have Visual Calculus! I'll be honest- this one surprised me. There were a lot of Viscalc stans in the tags and I thought he would pull through, but nope, he placed exact middle. He's got a lot going for him! The perfect intersection between art and logistics. Factual, but not pretentious. On an aesthetic level, they really do look great- strong nose, extremely fun abstract elements, full lips, those just barely visible eyes, dark and mysterious… be still my heart! And those skills of determining what works where… well, I don't have to explain it. I think the only reason he didn't win was because our next two contenders were especially strong. His stat is boosted by Neat Office Shades (+1) and RCM Commander's Jacket (+1). Hot damn! Not bad! They could pull that look off. REASONS YOU VOTED:

I picked visual calculus but I was surprised to see how many other people did too#I guess… it just feels more tangible? Like it interacts with the physical world?#idk if that explanation is easy to interpret correctly but it#'s the best I've got

vis calc but this one was difficult#vis calc is just so calm and factual and like. down to business.

visual calc draws so beautifuly and has sick bgm in its action scenes

encyclopedia is my BOY but vis calc is my lover

"Voted Visual Calculus because he's good at what he does and doesn't make a fuss. He reconstructs crime scenes and doesn't start any drama." "I picked Visual Calculus, even though Encylopedia is by far my favorite. Encyclopedia isn't sexy, he just makes me smile. Similarly Drama isn't sexy, he's just funny. I considered Conceptualization, but his tendency to be pretentious is a total turn-off. But Visual Calculus… those moments of perfect precision when the lights dim and the focus narrows? Delicious. THAT is sexy" "Visual calculus, there’s just something to him that makes him alluring" (And probably the most compelling reasoning….)#visual calculus is gonna find the angle of the prostate#or g spot Coming in in second place, with 27% of the votes (188 overall) we have Conceptualization! I think Conceptualization deserves second place. She's a romantic. He's creative. An artist, a poet, a visionary. Visually, she's enchanting- the suggestion of a human form, softer than Viscalc but just as mysterious. He can wine and dine you, have a good time with you, but most important of all- he could surprise you. Conceptualization would know how to get freaky with it, I think. You could take them by the hand and kiss their knuckles, which they would be extremely appreciative of. This is someone that has taste. The portrait parallel to the Smoker on the Balcony also helps. Her stat is boosted by Saramirizian Lounge Jacket (+1 and White Satin Shirt (+1)- worn unbuttoned, of course. Now THAT is sexy. REASONS YOU VOTED:

conceptualization i like artists :

conceptualization whore

conceptualisation#gotta understand what you want baybee

conceptualization is the king

oh this one was tough#vis calc has the best writing imo#but visually…conceptualization wins

And our winner for sexiest Intellect skill, with 29% of the votes (202 votes overall) is…. DRAMA! The thespian himself! And my own personal vote, so I'm happy he won. Let's be real. He's got the passion. He is distinct, charming, funny, and the way he speaks! Getting called "my liege"? That was enough to push him into first for me, nicknames are too good. You know the roleplay would be insane. Insane. Aesthetically, many faces? Many eyes and mouths? I yield the remainder of my time. I can't be normal about Drama. Not only is he a delight that's just full of personality, they're hot. His stat is boosted by Leather Jacket Pissfaggot (+1), Insane Mesh Tank Top (+1), Party Dragon's Silk Robe (+1), Bow Knot (+2) Need I even say more? The mesh tank top on its own would have been enough, but the party dragon's silk robe? The Pissfaggot jacket? Too perfect! REASONS YOU VOTED:

drama literally calls you sire there's no competition

obviously drama… the way it's speaking? you know it

it was a TOUGH pick between drama & conceptualization but i had to pick drama#obviously the artsy ones have an edge as far as sexiness goes. drama wins bcus like the drama outfit is the#slutty ass robe and mesh tank top like. drama knows whats up PSYCHE RESULTS: Coming in at number 6, with 9% of the votes (63 overall) we have… Suggestion. Oh, Suggestion! I really did think you would rank higher! Hell, even in your official description, you were made to "charm men and women." I'm so sorry that didn't happen this time around, champ. They're all about sweet-talking and persuasion, and is undeniably a smooth talker, but if that's all you have, then there isn't much else to offer. Visually, it feels like he's…. missing something. If the brain stem-roots look more like tentacles, you KNOW he would be more popular. Honestly, I think Suggestion is just generally overlooked. He's like Rhetoric and Savoir Faire's lesser paid-attention to cousin- part of the persuasion gang. It could also just be that there are some heavy hitters in Psyche, and someone has to be last, so it may as well be him. Sorry, bud. I'd give your weird brain orb a little peck. His stat is boosted by Signal-Blue Naval Coat (+1), Interisolary Suit Jacket (+1)- the suit jacket isn't bad, but the naval coat doesn't exactly say "seduction". REASONS YOU VOTED: suggestion#gotta get what you want

SUGGESTION!#a smooth talker is just objectively sexy#de

Coming in at number 5, with 10% of the votes (69 overall, nice) we've got Authority! Man, this was my vote. I was surprised to see how low he placed. I get it though, honestly. All about intimidation and assertion, that can get overwhelming pretty fast. He also probably wouldn't take kindly to having the dynamic flipped around on him- couldn't switch it up, it could get stale fast. And those eyes… not exactly dreamboat material. Having someone big and strong push you around isn't everyone's cup of tea, especially if, let's be honest, that big strong guy is kind of an asshole. Well, at least he know he's not closed off to the idea of putting stuff up the butt- so long as it has something to do with honor! His stat is boosted by Fairweather T-500 Greaves (+2) and RCM Lieutenant's Cap (+1) Cool boots! And I like the hat! I really do like the hat… REASONS YOU VOTED:

authority sorry because i like being told what to do lol

"authority - kim" Coming in at number 4, with 11% of the votes (76 overall) we have Esprit De Corps! Esprit De Corps was one that I had a difficult time finding the appeal of, but honestly, I can see it. The ghostly apparition and blending of facial features certainly is memorable and unique in the aesthetic department. There's something to be said here is that there's many of them-you'll never be alone, for sure, and that kind of intimacy and companionship is sexy. Maybe there could be a bit of a voyeurism thing going on, peeking into the lives of other officers… much to consider. Who says you should keep work and pleasure separate? Have fun with those handcuffs and leather boots! Their stat is boosted by RCM Commander's Jacket (+1), RCM Patrol Cloak (+1), Disco-Ass Blazer (+1). Fuck YES! All iconic, all good looking. REASONS YOU VOTED:

edc because um. um. because uhhhm#well#warm smile emoji

esprit de corps#theres more of them and they know me the best uwu

esprit de corps#sorry I love being close to Kim#he’s my everything

Coming in at number 3, with 18% of the votes (126 overall) is Empathy! Another situation where I'm surprised they didn't rank higher- but again, our next two competitors are tough competition. Empathy is undoubtedly lovely. TLC is their middle name. Get ready to feel doted on, pampered, etc. etc. They're attentive, considerate, would know where all those sweet spots are, for sure- but honestly, I think they would be stone. It would be all about you, and unless you're a pillow princess, I can see that being unsatisfying. Aesthetically, they are a treat to look at. Those softly shut eyes, the long fingers folded over broad shoulders… they're simply warm and welcoming! That's probably why they didn't claim first- they don't have that spark. Doesn't exactly scream "sexy" to me, but if you think being with them wouldn't be the most pleasant thing in the world, you can hop off my blog. Their stat is boosted by Army Surplus Winter Scarf (+2), Mesque Banger's Red Brogues (+1), Jamrock Biker-Cop Sunnies (+1), Pinball Maker's Coat (+1). Again- not sexy, but for sure nice to look at. REASONS YOU VOTED:

empathy can know that someone is so horny they could die

empathy is my main bitch I pick it every run I play#empathy is so hot

close call between empathy and inland empire but i have to pick empathy…#he's just :((( he notices…..

though close second is empathy#love his soft voice

Coming in at number 2, with 25% of the votes (175 overall) is… Volition! The ultimate good guy. Extremely sane. Volition is the voice of reason in a room full of 23 unhinged idiots. You know he's got the willpower, the drive, the control to make it happen, and that level of competence is alluring. Say what you will about him, but he would know what to do. He's got that crown for a reason- dude is a king, and a good chunk of people in my notes know it! That is pretty sexy- but at a certain point, sanity can get boring. There will be care there, he can get pretty bog-standard. Volition would fuck you like he respects you, every time, which isn't always what you'd want- that doesn't keep him from being the kind of guy you could take to meet your parents. Whatever this guy does to you will DEFINITELY be a morale boost, even if it is pretty vanilla. His stat is boosted by Eight-Eyed Teratorn Tie (+1) and Fairweather T-500 Cuirass (+1). Who isn't a fan of a guy in armor? REASONS YOU VOTED:

but volition yeah. hot damn

volition. easy.

volition. sorry. when volition went ‘good theory you have there. would be a shame if something happened to it’ like. yeah. made it for me

all of them#but volition is my love

volition my beloved

volition#I mean come on it’s him!#I love him he always got Harry’s back#plus he can be pretty funny too with his dry scarcasm

volition will treat you right idk what else to say#probably really good with the praise kink lmao

"Volition. I like the strong will." "I picked Volition, but honestly I don't think sexy is a fitting descriptor for any of these ones. Suggestion was my first thought, but honestly I find his persona pretty goofy. I love Inland Empire, but he evokes more wistfulness than anything else. Even Volition isn't sexy to me, really - he's just compelling. But the quiet tragedy of willpower overwhelmed by circumstance is as close to sexy as this bunch gets, imo" (I think this is EXTREMELY accurate and I fully agree.) And our winner for sexiest Psyche skill, with 27% of the votes (188 votes overall) is…. INLAND EMPIRE! It was pretty close between Volition and Inland for a while there, but our favorite little petri dish pulled through. A dreamer! Enchanting in their language, absurd in all the right ways. It would always be new and exciting with Inland. Maniac Pixie Dream Skill, and I mean that in the best way. So puzzing and interesting, I want to see what would happened if I tried to smooch their… face? Don't know what to call it. Honestly, I think a lot of object-head people voted in this poll. No shame. Hard to go wrong with whatever's going on here, it really does work. Talk about fantasy made real! Their stat is boosted by Sunglasses Sub-Insulindic Rendezvous (+1), Horrific Necktie (+1), Eight-Eyed Teratorn Tie (+1) The Horrific Necktie himself! How could you not trust a glowing endorsement like that? REASONS YOU VOTED:

hear me out… yes they’re all lil freaks HOWEVER#inland empire#inland empire will show u other worlds#will take u places u didn’t know u could go!!

inland empire baby girl

inland empire forever baby

Inland Empire#Something which understands both itself and you on a fundamental level

PHYSIQUE RESULTS: Coming in at number 6, with 5% of the votes (37 overall) we have Endurance. Not too shocked that Endurance ranked so low. Sure, he's all about persevering and enduring, so you could get real tantric with him- that is, if you ever even got to that place with him. He's a mouthpiece for facism, he hates women… not sexy. Not sexy at all. Repugnant, even. You'd have to focus entirely on his buff bod in order to get any sex appeal out of him, and even then, that's not easy! The geometry of the body in his portrait is a bit difficult to decipher…. is that one big pec right in the center? What's the thing where his head should be. Hard-body types are all the rage, but this one could do with a little softness. For someone so strong, he really is floundering a bit. His stat is boosted by the FRITTTE Plastic Rain Coat (+1)… and thats it. Just a raincoat. Endurance, come on, man. REASONS YOU VOTED:

but wow I'm shocked endurance is so low (wasn't even someone who voted for endurance. just the only time someone talked about him.)

Coming in at number 5, with 8% of the votes (60 overall) we have Physical Instrument. Another instance where I'm not too surprised. Dude just doesn't have the special sauce- he's just fuckmuscle. Yeah, he's got the strength, he's got the power, but I think if you couldn't keep up with him, he'd leave you in the proverbial dust. (also i'm afraid he would keep up the "coach" talk in bed.) The way he talks is degrading, and not in the fun hot way. Not very sexy. Undeniable prowess though! His stat is boosted by FALN Modular Track Pants (+1), T-Shirt Man From Hjelmdall (+1), White Tank Top (+1) If you're into the sport aesthetic, then coach is gonna make you sweat. REASONS YOU VOTED:

HOW ARE YALL SLEEPING ON PHYSICAL INSTRUMENY

physical instrument baybee

difficult#I picked physical instrument because I'm really feeling the muscular body presence but its actual voice is definitely not the sexiest

electricrochemistry is too much about you and will make you nut immediately. you need physical instrument to fuck. motion in the ocean.

Coming in at number 4 with 9% of the votes (67 overall) we have Half-Light! Gonna be real with you. I didn't understand any of the appeal at first- in fact, I thought this guy would be dead last. But then I thought about it more- the thrill of the chase, fear and pleasure, the adrenaline rush… yeah. Okay, I get it. Half Light has got a look in his foggy eyes and gritted teeth that says he has nothing to lose, and he's gonna bust every nut like it's his last. Fight, flight, or fuck. Doesn't hit every base for what makes something sexy, but what he does have is undeniable. It's raw, it's primal, and it can be pretty hot. His stat is boosted by Fairweather T-500 Helmet (+1), FALN Faln Windbreaker (+1), Leather Jacket Fuck the World (+1), FALN Ultra Series Gloves (+1), Itchy Pants (+2). A very interesting outfit. REASONS YOU VOTED:

half-light my ancient greek speaking boy…

listen. i know it should be electrochem or shivers#but half light 🤤🤤🤤

Coming in at number 3 with 12% of the votes (89 overall) is Pain Threshold! Come on, y'all. You know why he's here. How in depth do I need to go with this one? A sadomasochist's dream. Someone who's able to dish it out as hard as they can take it. With this one, it's pure physicality. While BDSM can be very emotionally intimate, I get the feeling he's not feeling the burn because he wants to get closer to you. One final word: penetration. His stat is boosted by FALN Faln Windbreaker (+1), Mesque Banger's Silk Scarf (+1), Fairweather T-500 Cuirass (+1). Not gonna lie. That fit kind of slays. REASONS YOU VOTED: "Pain threshold because don’t worry about it"

pain threshold because I’m a masochist lol

it's literally pain threshold guys

Coming in at number 2 with 28% of the votes (208 overall) we've got Electrochemistry! Echem and our finalist were fucking neck and neck for so long, it was a sight to behold. He's a fan favorite, competing against another fan favorite. Unfortunately, (and shockingly!) Electro did not come out on top- but that doesn't mean they aren't a veritable powerhouse of sex. A creature made to indulge! He's emblematic of all things hedonistic, the pursuit of pleasure, literally the one that drives Harry to drink and smoke and fuck like it's his only purpose. He is down to clown until he's in the ground. You KNOW they would be into just about anything you put in front of them. I don't have to explain why he's sexy. Also, tentacles? Tentacles. We've all just collectively agreed that those are tentacles. His stat is boosted by Fingerless Gloves (+1), Flare-cut Trousers (+1), Pour L'Homme Labourer Jeans (+1), Shades of Self-Destruction (+1), Party Dragon's Silk Robe (+1) God damn! His outfit literally includes jeans that make your ass look better. It doesn't get more clear than this. REASONS YOU VOTED:

echem of course. do i even need to elaborate

electrochem and shivers rank equally to m

electrochemistry#i would eat his he/him pussy<3

i picked electrochemistery because tentacles and also it's literally the sexy skill

look I really like shivers but I love electrochemistry an obviously unhealthy amount

And our winner for sexiest Physique skill, with a whopping 38% of the votes (282 votes overall) is… SHIVERS! Well, Revachol loves us, and we sure do seem to love her back. It's hard to formulate just what Shivers is- she's a city, she's a feeling, she is the rain on the pavement, she is the wind on the back of your neck, she is empty apartments and dilapidated docks, she is people and animals and plants- but most important of all is that she is sexy. Her voice? Gorgeous. The open-endedness of it all, of what she looks like, how she appears, the idea that she surrounds you and truly does care for you- there's no other way to say it. It gives you shivers. That chill down your spine… that's hot. That's why I personally picked Shivers. An eldritch thing, unknowable and vast, loving me? I'll swoon. You'd be cared for, and being cared for is sexy. You'd never be alone. She'd be all around you, guiding you, knowing you intimately, because you are a part of her. And as for the sexual aspect of it… completely fucking unpredictable what would go on there, and you know what, I'm willing to dive headfirst into that mystery. Yeah, I'll fuck a city. Sounds good. Her stat is boosted by RCM Patrol Cloak (+1), Polar Anorak (+1), Scented Scarf (+1), T-Shirt Man From Hjelmdall (+1). All these clothes will keep you warm. I like to think the t-shirt is like a girlfriend t-shirt you stole from her. Cute! REASONS YOU VOTED: "shivers is like dating an ancient deity" "I picked Shivers, and this was actually the easiest vote for me to make. Of course it's Shivers! Physical Instrument is my favorite physique skill but it's because he's funny, not sexy. Electrochemistry is like a combination of Suggestion and Volition to me - silly and also sad. But Shivers is such a fascinating, strange, attention-grabbing presence. The drama of it all!!! Not Drama drama, but rather drama as a byproduct of magic. It's incredibly sexy"

i think shivers could take good care of you..

SHIVER SWEEP#ive never wanted to sleep with The Wind so bad man i swear to god

shivers#source: she lives in my brain

shivers#knows how to make me shiver owo

shivers#hands down it’s shivers#she is the voice of the city#I NEED YOU. YOU CAN KEEP ME ON THIS EARTH. BE VIGILANT. I LOVE YOU.

shivers. because city voice hot

where the hood where the hood where the hood at

electrochemistry you’re good but I will cut you down in shivers’s name

shivers cause revachol is. kind of a milf.

SHIVERSSWEEP#the city loves you. the city is part of you. you belong to each other so irrevocably#a huge complex system of nerve endings--of buildings of ruins of all that is gone and all that is left--every bit of it tuned in to you#a radio signal so great in scale#you just have to listen to it. to let that love (that understanding) wrap around you#the city lives because you live. broken and rotten but alive still. & it wants you to survive#also setting as a character is one of the sexiest concepts ever so. that helps.

SHIVERS SWEEP#(everyone who cares about de is in love w revachol/shivers and also is a lesbian gender neutral)

electrochemistry is the obvious option STRAY FROM THE PATH!!!#it’s shivers me timbers!!!

(also reading everyone in the tag going SHIVERSWEEP was really funny lmfao) MOTORICS RESULTS: Coming in at number 6 with 10% of the votes (66 overall) we've got Reaction Speed. I feel like Motorics as a skill group already kind of get shafted. They all kind of blur into each other- and speaking of blurring, Reaction Speed is unfortunately at the bottom. Quick to act and quick to talk, RS is all about making things happen fast. It's hard to think about "speed" and "sex" and not think "premature ejaculation". Poor fella just doesn't have much going on for him- any features we could have deemed attractive are out of focus. If you look close enough, you can see that his front-facing face does actually have a nice smile. Aw. I feel kind of bad for him. If only he wasn't darting around so much, I could give him a little smooch. Despite the fondness I feel, none of it could be considered sexy. His stat is boosted by Orange Bum Hat (+1), Royal Carabineer Pants (+1), FALN Ultra Series Sneakers (+1). Honestly? Kind of a fit. I'll throw you a bone there, bud. REASONS YOU VOTED:

ya'll mofukas not turned on by reaction speed are fucking lying(RS baby I am so sorry this is just the only thing someone said about you except someone saying you were " a close second" and I couldn't leave this section blank I'm so sorry) Coming in at number 4-5, another tie, with 14% of the votes (93 votes each) is Hand/Eye Coordination and Perception! It felt like H/E would rank higher, but honestly, tied for 4th/5th feels right. Undeniably good with his hands- that's his whole deal. Hands down (ha ha) he's got the technique! Not to mention, all those fingers, six fuckin pairs of hands to use… plus, Hand/Eye is canonically the jerk-off stat. By all accounts, he's got the resources, but again as with many of these skills, he doesn't have the spice. Okay, you've got the abilities- now make us want to see them in action! If only he were a bit more remarkable. Sorry, Handy. Get a bit more swagger and we'll give you another go of it. His stat is boosted by Pinball Maker's Coat (+1), FALN Arrower Shirt (+1), FALN Ultra Series Sneakers (+1). On the other hand, Perception has the opposite issue. She is all about noticing things. Attentive, primed to take in the senses that the world can afford to her. Where's the execution? We know she will notice how you're feeling and what you want, but what will she be able to do about it? Her appearance is interesting, foggy pillars of smoke coming from where her eyes and mouth would be, but honestly, that would make kissing kind of hard. Unless you've into having smoke shotgunned into your mouth constantly. In that case? Hot. I want to give her a little leg up just because of that. Her stat is boosted by Amphibian Sports Visor (+1) and Franconigerian Cavalry Boots (+1). Froggy visor and bear boots… definitely a good look, but not really a hot one. REASONS YOU VOTED:

as a pianist and a visual artist im a big fan of hand eye coordination

hand eye cuz i always forget to dump points in that stat and that's what my brain told me to say

h/e c. not because of the shooting guns and shit. but because. yk. :))

hand/eye coordination#reaction speed is a close second#you know :)

perception all day every day baby#sensory#y'know?

perception… I guess.#I have yet to convince myself to start a game with high motorics so I don't think I've seen these guys at their best#but Noticing is sexy

Coming in at number 3 with 15% of the votes (100 overall) is Composure! Composure, to me, is THEE sexiest stat. Everything about them is so perfect to me. The ability to keep one's cool in a frantic situation. The hot hooked nose. The association with Kim. I could go on, but they got third, so I can't. They absolutely have what it takes to be sexy- but I do understand, keeping it together all the time would stop being sexy after a while. Ohhh, but breaking them would be so rewarding! I have to stop. They've got a strong visual appearance that is just. Chef's kiss. Good shit. Again, I think they deserve first, but our next two competitors are hard to beat. Their stat is boosted by Dynamic Winderbreaker Surf (+1), Polar Anorak (+1), Green Snakeskin Shoes (+1), Regular Black Jeans (+1) which is honestly just like. a good outfit lmao REASONS YOU VOTED:

i think i gotta go composure bc composure will fuck you the most out of any of these stats

composure#because the concept of composure failing to hold everything together#issssss hot sorry

composure bc thats kims highest stat thank you

"Composure. Dignity is sexy."

Coming in at number 2 with 19% of the votes (126 overall) we've got Interfacing! Finger-boy! Where as H/E is undoubtedly good with his hands, Interfacing has his specialty being toys and machines; the "prop" possibilities are endless. Uniquely capable in a way that the other motorics skills aren't- with items and machines, being able to wield proficiencies in The physical look of him in his portrait clearly shows an intent concentration with whatever he's interfacing with, hooded eyes, hands delicately poised to touch the surface. He's kind of got a beard thing going on too, maybe that's just how I'm perceiving it, but there's a bit of like. Wizened energy there? I can see that being sexy. Also, something something, the eroticism of machines. His stat is boosted by Yellow Gardening Gloves (+1) and Fairweather T-500 Gauntlets (+2). Kind of funny that his stat is only boosted by gloves.

REASONS YOU VOTED: "I picked Interfacing. Savoir Faire is another skill that I love but simply find silly. I also considered Composure, but that's another one that I find sad and sweet rather than sexy. Interfacing's detail-oriented nature is sexy to me in the same way as Visual Calculus (Also Interfacing is the most autistic skill and that adds a lot to the sexy factor /j)" "interfacing - good w hands" "Interfacing be doing something with their hands I guess"

interfacing <3#bc machines are sexy and interfacing is good with machines

I personally chose composure as my pick for sexiest but all of the Interfacing truthers are so fucking correct.#Unbelievably sexy. I got converted by the tags.

interfacing. the human body is a machine you have explored and know so well

it's gotta be interfacing#it's gotta be!!!!#the eroticism of looking at the body like a machine#of poking around someone's body like it's a machine. taking them apart just to find out how they tick#bonding with kim over machine facts!!!!#THE NICKNAME OF FINGERBOY!!!#COME ON!#IT'S INTERFACING.#IT HAS TO BE

interfacing#knows how to push my buttons???

I think interfacing is the fingering skill.

interfacing is by far the sexiest

interfacing!!!!!#can't explain why. i'm just right

interface with the hole

interfacing#interfacings whole deal is figure out how things work#interfacing could take u apart and put u pack together

And our winner for sexiest Motorics skill with 28% of all votes (186 overall) is Savoir Faire! I was, again, a little shocked at this one. Really? Torso-guy? Looks wise, he's not bad, all those arms definitely make for an interesting silhouette. But the real draw is entirely in the attitude. You can't deny the weight of his slimy, slick, disco seduction power. A smooth operator through and through. There's something to be said about the innate charm of a sleazeball- and this dude is just dripping with it! His stat is boosted by Oversized Superstar Sunglasses (+1) FALN Modular Track Pants (+1). Superstar sunglasses and gray sweatpants. God damn, Savvy. REASONS YOU VOTED:

glad savoir faire is winning… this torso!

savour faire#i will not elaborate#but.#wink wonk

savvy. hes got that slimy swagger

…And that's everybody! Some results were surprising, some were expected, but all of it felt. Educational. Would love to hear everyone's opinions on this lmao.

[choices-binglebonkus]

I haven't caught up with TPA since like late December, but I've been rereading your post about 10 Rights and Wrongs with TPA and I wanna add my thoughts on it. I'll mainly only comment on stuff that I have something to say about. These may be subject to change when I complete the book.

Soundtrack

Agreed with you, it's absolutely brilliant. It has a James Bond vibe that I like, and even ignoring that it's just really well-composed. I love the adventurous intro theme especially, as well as the steamy scene track– I will happily listen to those on repeat and never get tired.

Outfits

Agreed on that too, I didn't vibe with majority of the f!MC outfits besides the default ones but they still did do a good job making them look good for the most part.

I definitely hate the fem MC having a crop top as the cold outfit. I wouldn't mind it as much if they did the same with m!MC; it'd still be impractical, but like, either give both of them crop tops or neither of them crop tops. Enough with the "must be sexy because woman" outfits, goddammit.

Speaking of shitty outfit gendering, I also hate that m!MC's "sexy underwear" equivalent to fem MC's lingerie is a goddamn robe and boxers. The robe is admittedly nice and has a "luxurious evening" vibe that I like, but come the fuck on, stop playing it safe and basic with the m!MC and m!LI outfits all the damn time.

Vivian

I'm very mixed on her. On her own, I quite enjoy her as a character. She's fun, she's got some good lines, and she doesn't really come off as obnoxious.

But in the story, she just feels weirdly out-of-place in it? Perhaps because I've associated TPA as being the Choices' edition of a James Bond adventure, so it does feel unusual to have one of the main characters be a quirky nerd type. But hey, that does make TPA a little more unique.

But while I haven't caught up, I know others said that missions and tasks are way too easy with her being present, hence the lack of stakes.

Hookups

I didn't play any actual dirty-30 hookup scenes, but I did enjoy the buildup scenes to them and I'm sad we haven't gotten other hookup opportunities. Especially since I played as wlm, where the dynamics were very different from how PB usually writes their average wlm romance. I am forever here for male Lou swooning over f!MC being heroic and male Alexis's femme-fatale-esque persona. I found them way more interesting than the majority of MC and Agent Grey's dynamic. Speaking of which...

LI

One thing that is nice about the romance is that MC is the one who is more experienced in GAIA while Agent Grey is the new member. Honestly it's very refreshing (especially as wlm) considering how often PB's romance involves MC being the newbie and LI being the boss/teacher/celebrity/etc.

But character wise? Agent Grey doesn't work as an LI. Or at least not a main/single LI. It's It feels like they're only the LI by virtue of being MC's work partner. I'd rather Agent Grey have just been... still our work partner, but also as a casual hookup option like Alexis and Lou rather than our romance interest.

Possibly controversial opinion, I think a book that is just "no romance, only casual hookups" would be something unique for PB to write (granted the hookups don't take over the entire story). PB needs a break from writing romance and it shows.

GOC/Pronouns

A lot of people said this one "actually feels like it was written with male MC in mind for once". I have a lot of issues with that statement due to the fact a lot of the fandom's takes on what counts as "female coding" can be very dubious.

Regardless, even if this was written with mlw in mind, I've still been finding it very enjoyable and made sense (dare I say better and more unique) in a wlm route.

Any actual gender coding errors I've seen or heard about are very minimal. Though I will say that it made me want to sob to see male Agent Grey's swimsuit described as a "swimsuit that hugs his hips" despite his swimsuit in question being boring swimtrunks and a basic-AF open beach shirt rather than, yknow, a swimsuit that actually hugs his hips.

And that's about all I've got for now.

Thanks for your insights anon!

[chcnce]

guess the TWENTY FOUR YEAR OLD OCTOBER baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because HWA YOHAN / CHANCE HWA  is just as CRISP as the month of OCTOBER. wait, why do they remind me of BANG CHAN? beyond that, they seemed RELIABLE AND PASSIONATE upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of SELF-CONSCIOUS AND CAUTIOUS though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX # 4 / APARTMENT # 1 / FLOOR # 2 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as STREAMER.

hi! i’m lu and i’m really happy to present to you to my mess of a son. he’s certainly a hard pill to swallow but he’s not as bad once you get to interact with him. chance is his real english name, but also the persona he’s crafted to remain popular and relevant to the masses. he’s blunt and brutally honest, but mostly when he’s streaming. all in all: a whole ass mess, i insist.

without further ado, here are his basic stats, a trivia and wanted connections under the cut. however you can find his background and plots linked accordingly ( i’ll add other pages eventually ). i’m really fine with talking either here or discord, so whichever works fine for you, works fine for me too! i’ll be reaching to everyone go gives this a like soon enough <3

basic information

― full name: hwa yohan / chance hwa ― nicknames: yohwa ― age: twenty four ― date of birth: october 3rd, 1996 ― birthplace: cheonan, south korea. ― hometown: sydney, australia ― current location: seoul, south korea ― living arrangements: dallyeog / complex # 4 / apartment # 1 / floor # 2 ― ethnicity: korean ― nationality: dual, korean (natural born) and australian (naturalized) ― gender: cis male ― pronouns: he / him ― orientation: demiromantic, heterosexual. ― religion: atheist ― occupation: streamer ― language(s) spoken: korean (fluent), english (fluent) ― accent: heavy australian accent

physical appearance

― faceclaim: bang chan / christopher bang of stray kids. ― hair: naturally brown, though he often dyes to a variety of colors, mostly black and blue. right now, it’s a purple color that’s already fading. ― eye colour: coffee brown ― height: 171cm ― weight: 56kg ― tattoos: none at the moment. ― piercings: lobe and upper lobe on both ears. anti-tragus, orbital and rook on the left one. double helix on the right one. ― clothing style: regularly techwear when he goes out and athleisure at home.

personality

― label: the cynical ― positive traits: attentive, dependable, reliable, passionate, brave, energetic, honest, humorous, clever, versatile, truthful, affectionate, sociable ― negative traits: self-conscious, cautious, opinionated, arrogant, detached, critical, tactless, stubborn, loud, quick-tempered, harsh, unfiltered, cynical, restless, ambitious, ― hobbies: baking, collecting enamel pins and funkos, jigsaw puzzles, skateboarding, reading, listening to music, curating playlists when he has time, learning origami. ― habits: obsessively organising, borrowing books and rarely ever returning them (he forgets who they belong to ok), really bad road rage, awful at keeping track of time, people watching, always wears a black ring on his left index finger, always hugs something when sleeping, gets easily impressed by things, quotes movies and shows in regular conversations, knuckle cracking, snacking between meals, eye rolling without noticing, squinting when concentrated, crossing his arms over his chest, running hands through his hair, slouching, rolling his shoulders. ― zodiac sign: sun libra, moon gemini, ascendant libra. ― mbti: infp-t “the mediator” ― enneagram: 8w7 “the nonconformist”. ― temperament: melancholic ― hogwarts house: ravenclaw ― moral alignment: chaotic neutral ― primary vice: greed ― primary virtue: diligence ― element: air

trivia:

― he’s played all kind of games and his twitch channel was created 9 years ago (whew) and it currently has over 5 million subscribers. currently, he streams mostly genshin impact, valorant, league of legends, overwatch, spider-man: miles morales, cyberpunk 2077 and the witcher iii. every now and then he makes charity streams. he also makes special lives with other gamers and figures where they play games like among us, minecraft, fortnite (though he absolutely hates it), party animals, fall guys and other party games. ― despite the rumours around him and his parents, he’s never talked about them to the media. it’s not like chance hides the information, after all it’s online, but he swerves questions about them and pretty much decides to not say anything about them just to avoid controversy. his parents didn’t mind until last year the company they worked at offered him a sponsorship and yohan turned it down. it’s safe to say they were pretty hurt over this and they haven’t talked much recently. ― yohan is, in his words, the biggest fan of spiderman (not really) but he’s his favorite heroe of all times and he collects everything and anything that has him in it. his biggest collection is funko pops with over 30+ figurines. he collects funkos of various other interests of him as well as enamel pins. ― lowkey a weeb. he likes watching anime in his spare time and if he likes it too much, he’d buy the manga and read it as well. his latest obsessions are kimetsu no yaiba, boku no hero academia, haikyu and jujutsu kaisen. ― won’t ever admit this out loud, but almost every ghibli movie makes him cry his eyes out, even when he’s watched the same one over and over again. he prefers to watch these on his own. his favorite one is grave of the fireflies. ― it took him a while to get used to korean culture, a part of him is still trying to. luckily, his family would speak in korean in their household most of the time and this helped him not struggle as much when it came to the language. his streams are most of the time in english to cater to a bigger audience, but recently he’s got himself a small team of an editor and a translator that’s helped him add subtitles to the videos he uploads in youtube. ― his current setup is completely sponsored except for a few extra things he’s bought himself and he has minimal experience when it comes to builds, though he’s really interested in learning and has recently researched more about the whole topic, hoping to get his first custom build by the end of the year. ― has terrible road rage and this is the reason why he doesn’t own a car or a driving license, even being in the backseat makes him anxious and would much rather prefer to use the bus, a bike or his skateboard to commute between places. taxis and other rides are his last option, if he’s quite honest. ― as a neighbour, he’s polite and tries to be mindful just to avoid needless problems. the first thing he did was soundproof his office in order to not disrupt others, but sometimes this doesn’t work as well due to how loud he can be. chance will try to greet every neighbour he encounters either with a wave or a simple nod. ― loves dogs but doesn’t feel he’s responsible enough to take care of one yet, though he will certainly volunteer to pet-sit his friends’ dogs.

wanted connections:

― life in seoul: he’s been wanting to start a podcast that has nothing to do with his main channel, aka a podcast about the culture in seoul from different perspectives, he wants to know about other people’s experiences. can be people that have lived all their life here or foreigners that, like himself, are pretty much new or can’t get enough of the city. it’d be a pretty chill podcast and anyone can participate! ― people that know about him and lowkey follow his streams (or just play them in the background while doing other stuff) ― or people that know about him but dislike him because he’s said stuff before about other public figures you’re a fan of. or he just simply rubs you the wrong way. ― people who absolutely hates when he streams late at night and he’s full on screaming at the screen (he tried to soundproof his streaming room but someone he can be way too loud, sorry) ― he’s always up for a good collaboration regardless of the topic: food, art, random tags and challenges. even if it's not up to his alley, he's likely to always say yes just for the laughs. ― the group of friends yohan met in different ways. they're not all strictly gamers, streamers or anything of the sort, but whenever they get together to play some games, it's a total chaos. and he wouldn't change it at all. ― the one person that always gets his packages delivered by mistake to your place instead of his. or the other way around. ― more: friends, enemies, a penpal, a platonic soulmate, workout buddies, etc.

[blucmoon]

━  ☾ ⊹  ( bang chan, cis male , he/him ) say hello to HWA YOHAN / CHANCE HWA, the TWENTY FOUR YEAR OLD that seems to have a lot in his hands with HIS job as a STREAMER AND CONTENT CREATOR! beyond that, they seemed RELIABLE AND PASSIONATE upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of SELF-CONSCIOUS AND CAUTIOUS though. HE seems to live in a 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT in SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA. anything else to add? oh, yeah! he also USED TO BE A PROFESSIONAL GAMER PART OF SEOUL DYNASTY (OWL) UNTIL HE GOT KICKED OUT.

basic information

― full name: hwa yohan / chance hwa ― nicknames: yohwa ― age: twenty four ― date of birth: october 3rd, 1996 ― birthplace: cheonan, south korea. ―hometown: sydney, australia ― current location: seoul, south korea ― living arrangements: 2 bedroom apartment ― ethnicity: korean ― nationality: dual, korean (natural born) and australian (naturalized) ― gender: cis male ― pronouns: he / him ― orientation: demiromantic, heterosexual. ― religion: atheist ― occupation: streamer ― language(s) spoken: korean (fluent), english (fluent) ―accent: heavy australian accent

physical appearance

― faceclaim: bang chan / christopher bang of stray kids. ― hair: naturally brown, though he often dyes to a variety of colors, mostly black and blue. right now, it’s a purple color that’s already fading. ― eye colour: coffee brown ― height: 171cm ― weight: 56kg ― tattoos: none at the moment. ― piercings: lobe and upper lobe on both ears. anti-tragus, orbital and rook on the left one. double helix on the right one. ― clothing style: regularly techwear when he goes out and athleisure at home.

personality

― label: the cynical ― positive traits: attentive, dependable, reliable, passionate, brave, energetic, honest, humorous, clever, versatile, truthful, affectionate, sociable ― negative traits: self-conscious, cautious, opinionated, arrogant, detached, critical, tactless, stubborn, loud, quick-tempered, harsh, unfiltered, cynical, restless, ambitious, ― hobbies: baking, collecting enamel pins and funkos, jigsaw puzzles, skateboarding, reading, listening to music, curating playlists when he has time, learning origami. ― habits: obsessively organising, borrowing books and rarely ever returning them (he forgets who they belong to ok), really bad road rage, awful at keeping track of time, people watching, always wears a black ring on his left index finger, always hugs something when sleeping, gets easily impressed by things, quotes movies and shows in regular conversations, knuckle cracking, snacking between meals, eye rolling without noticing, squinting when concentrated, crossing his arms over his chest, running hands through his hair, slouching, rolling his shoulders. ― zodiac sign: sun libra, moon gemini, ascendant libra. ― mbti: infp-t “the mediator” ― enneagram: 8w7 “the nonconformist”. ― temperament: melancholic ― hogwarts house: ravenclaw ― moral alignment: chaotic neutral ― primary vice: greed ― primary virtue: diligence ― element: air

trivia:

― he’s played all kind of games and his twitch channel was created 9 years ago (whew) and it currently has over 5 million subscribers. currently, he streams mostly genshin impact, valorant, league of legends, overwatch, spider-man: miles morales, cyberpunk 2077 and the witcher iii. every now and then he makes charity streams. he also makes special lives with other gamers and figures where they play games like among us, minecraft, fortnite (though he absolutely hates it), party animals, fall guys and other party games.

― despite the rumours around him and his parents, he’s never talked about them to the media. it’s not like chance hides the information, after all it’s online, but he swerves questions about them and pretty much decides to not say anything about them just to avoid controversy. his parents didn’t mind until last year the company they worked at offered him a sponsorship and yohan turned it down. it’s safe to say they were pretty hurt over this and they haven’t talked much recently.

― yohan is, in his words, the biggest fan of spiderman (not really) but he’s his favorite heroe of all times and he collects everything and anything that has him in it. his biggest collection is funko pops with over 30+ figurines. he collects funkos of various other interests of him as well as enamel pins.

― lowkey a weeb. he likes watching anime in his spare time and if he likes it too much, he’d buy the manga and read it as well. his latest obsessions are kimetsu no yaiba, boku no hero academia, haikyu and jujutsu kaisen.

― won’t ever admit this out loud, but almost every ghibli movie makes him cry his eyes out, even when he’s watched the same one over and over again. he prefers to watch these on his own. his favorite one is grave of the fireflies.

― it took him a while to get used to korean culture, a part of him is still trying to. luckily, his family would speak in korean in their household most of the time and this helped him not struggle as much when it came to the language. his streams are most of the time in english to cater to a bigger audience, but recently he’s got himself a small team of an editor and a translator that’s helped him add subtitles to the videos he uploads in youtube.

― his current setup is completely sponsored except for a few extra things he’s bought himself and he has minimal experience when it comes to builds, though he’s really interested in learning and has recently researched more about the whole topic, hoping to get his first custom build by the end of the year.

― has terrible road rage and this is the reason why he doesn’t own a car or a driving license, even being in the backseat makes him anxious and would much rather prefer to use the bus, a bike or his skateboard to commute between places. taxis and other rides are his last option, if he’s quite honest.

― as a neighbour, he’s polite and tries to be mindful just to avoid needless problems. the first thing he did was soundproof his office in order to not disrupt others, but sometimes this doesn’t work as well due to how loud he can be. chance will try to greet every neighbour he encounters either with a wave or a simple nod.

― loves dogs but doesn’t feel he’s responsible enough to take care of one yet, though he will certainly volunteer to pet-sit his friends’ dogs.

background:

born in cheonan, south korea to two very affectionate parents and an older sister, yohan was the name given to the first boy of the hwa’s; a small loving family who moved to australia two years after his birth.

the reason for this is that his mom was promoted to become the director of a renowned gaming company that was opening its new headquarters in sydney. his father is a software engineer specialised in videogames development who works under the same company.

his sister is a graphic designer and she, too, is currently working with them in the multimedia and design area. she’s almost 7 years older than him and ever since they were kids, she took a protective role over yohan.

it was easy for yohan to get really invested in videogames from a young age, after all, his parents would often bring home their newest releases as well as games from other various companies (his father liked to play a lot as well and he himself was a fan of many games, mostly the nintendo classics).

fast forward to his teenage years; he was actually good at school, not the best, but definitely did good enough to not worry his parents with his grades. sports always piqued his interest. he was part of the basketball team and would use his skateboard often to get to school (which would earn him earfuls from the teachers saying how dangerous it was.) other than that, he was an active member in the gaming club (shocking, i know).

at 14 he got his first close up at what esports were like after participating in a tournament of counter strike, junior division. his team (which was made up by members from the gaming club) won and he got to watch matches from other divisions, only growing more and more fascinated about the whole thing. the idea of becoming a professional gamer didn’t seem so far fetched then.

around late 2011, the same year twitch started as what it is, yohan found the platform and immediately grew curious about it. it was fascinating to watch other people play, thus it didn’t take him long to start his own channel under the username “chance” right after he turned 15. it took him a while to find his own pace there, not quite sure of what to say or how to act. eventually, he saw that the less reserved and cautious he was, the more people watched and liked his stream, so from then on, he stopped worrying about what ifs and what people would think about him.

this is a double edged sword: as his popularity grows, he becomes more and more brutally honest and less mindful of the consequences his words and actions could have. whereas he quickly became one of the public’s favorites, he was also viewed as someone potentially problematic that could bring a bad reputation to the community, though this only seemed to be a prejudice from other gamers and public figures.

he doesn’t care, however, and chance was pretty dead set on keep doing his thing. he was also really active in tournaments, either small or big, and other teams would often reach out for him to fill in. he rarely ever turned down an opportunity and even though they didn’t always win, participating was more than enough for him to gain the favor of the audience.

when he was 18, a formal contract to be part of the chiefs esports club (a recently founded professional club with teams competing in counter-strike: global offensive and league of legends based in australia) was presented to him and of course he signed.

between his streams, which had become a tri-weekly kind of deal, and the “training” with his teammates the rest of the days, it was clear that yohan wasn’t in the slightest interested to pursue a higher education, and honestly his parents didn’t complain about it as he was already doing well on his own. nonetheless, his sister was concerned and pushed him to at least take a couple of online classes (which he did, but mostly to learn how to edit videos and understand audio aspects to improve the quality of his streams.)

around this time, nasty rumours about his parents buying his way into the club were spread which earned him the dislike of some of his teammates. it was the first time yohan ever encountered a situation like that but thanks to the management, he was able to move past that. the oceanic pro league was founded in 2015, a professional league of legends competition, and the chiefs esports club participated and won. this helped the rumours around him disperse for he proved his skills were what put him into the team. sadly, he left the club a year later.

for the next couple of years, he focused on his stream and growing his community. yohan was invited to different events, tournaments and other collaborations during this time and he was always excited for them. he even decided to create a youtube channel to upload highlights and vlogs.

then, the overwatch league was announced (chance quickly became addicted to this game and even reached top 500 in competitive) and he was contacted by the seoul team (seoul dynasty) to become part of their team for the inaugural season. like that, at 21, yohan packed his bags and moved to south korea.

between 2017 and 2019, he was part of the team as dps. he had to change his schedule yet again to stream only on the weekends and with some restrictions his contract established (like not talking about the team or the league live). some of his fans voiced their dislike for this new attitude of his, which yohan brushed with a roll of the eyes and a joke.

however, before the 2020 season started and the team was on break, chance was one day streaming and offhandedly said a comment about another player in the league which he had a match with. this caused a really big commotion online and several pro-gamers were rubbed the wrong way about his words (to this day, he still doesn’t know what was so wrong about calling out someone t-bagging him in a pro game) and his reputation was admittedly tarnished. the seoul dynasty’s management team decided that it was better to let him go.

that’s how last year, chance moved into his current apartment after looking online for a new place to live.

in the present, he streams 5 days a week a variety of games and his schedule varies, some days he goes live in the mornings and other days really late at night. he has a steady income from various sponsorships as well as the monetization of his youtube channel, which he updates twice a week.

[howlfromthecore]

About me

People have started following me, and I’ve been having some interactions, so I guess it’s time to make one of these.  Hi there! I will not be using any pronouns; I choose not to let Tumblr in on my life according to gender. (Trans people who disagree with me on an issue will probably read that and assume I’m cis; cis people who disagree with me will do the opposite; but all of you will probably end up using an ad hominem attack based entirely on the me you’ve constructed in your head, and we’ll all know that)

I was born in the Northeast USA, to lower-middle-ish white parents. When I was 4 or 5, it was 1989 and my mother was fretting about where I should go to kindergarten. The local schools were Bad. To my parents who never questioned their right to exist, this may have meant there were too many students of color. In the search for alternatives, my mother discovered homeschooling, and, like pretty much everyone who discovered homeschooling in the mid 80s to late 90s, promptly ran straight into the Christian Evangelical Fundementalist Groups that took over the homeschooling circles in between those years. If you’re not familiar, and you want to be, or you’re curious, go to the HomeSchoolers Anonymous Page over on Wordpress. One of the important bits of this ideology is that women should have as many children as they possibly can. So my mom did. 

Six jesus, rush limbaugh, peter marshall, and ken hamm -filled years later, I had 4 younger siblings and my mother, having completely lost her grip on reality and kicked my dad out of the house, locked herself up and prayed, cried and sometimes dug into walls and appliances looking for listening devices. 

Somewhere around this time I started going to a Christian school run by an assemblies of god church. Zionism(with a fun usa-centric twist entirely made up by the youth pastor!), purity/chastity culture, manifest destiny as history(”the gospel movement westward”), genesis as science, and other fun and totally necessary things. The kids were terrible except for a few of them, and I got along as well as anyone who is being plunged into the world of schoolkids for the first time at 12 after being isolated with toddlers for years while still dealing with 4 siblings, separated parents, and a skitzophrenic mother could possibly do. 

I went to the school for 4 years, went to a public high school for my senior year (which really ought to have been my junior year). Custody fo rmy siblings and I had been shifted to my dad, and we went to live with his parents. Public school was great, I had fun, I was an arrogant little shit who believed in Jesus Christ and George Bush with all my heart. I said to my history teacher that being gay was a sin and endured his subsequent verbal takedown(because he wasn’t the kind of guy to let such things go unchallenged). Actually, I’m grateful every day to Mr. George Noyes, who was the first person to ask me if I really believed something or if I was just repeating what my parents had told me. (Spoiler alert: I was repeating what my parents had told me) God, I think I must have repeated every right wing talking point in that man’s class. I left his class every day exhausted from arguing with him; he’d put me through the wringer, challenging everything I said with such righteous certainty and I loved it. I hated it, but I loved it. The seeds he sowed took years to blossom but he started it. 

After high school, I worked in a deli for the summer and then headed off to Basic Training, the beginning of the next 4 years that didn’t include combat but did include injury and harassment and also the queer and magical communities. the first people to come out to me, to let me know it was OK to like [gender], and the first people to teach me to work with energy and cast circles were all in the Army.  I guess you ought to know that I didn’t see any other options for myself; not only had I always been taught to glorify the military, but my guidance counselor was also the school recruitment liason and no one ever mentioned community college or Pell Grants. Oh, I also started associating with liberals. 

Got out of the Army near the end of 2007. Moved to California because Californians were shiny and I really wanted to know why. Lived in Sacramento for 5 years, working a variety of retail jobs while graduating from a scammy auto tech program, and then going to Sac city college on and off. Had lame jobs and good jobs and wierd jobs. Sometimes had no job. Sometimes was on friend’s couches. Always sharing apartments or living spaces with others. Had partners of various genders. Loved them each, love some of them still. 

Moved to Oregon eventually, following my then best friend. Lived in a college town for another 5 years, working various retail, having partners of various genders, and becoming a tiny bit politically active. Started having full-fledged panic attacks in 2015 or so while working two jobs after my best friend broke up with me. 

Had a crazy adventure involving a foray into the kink world, an person whos panic disorder came out as abuse, a winter in a North Midwest state, and a return to OR to recover, eventually spending the summer working on the Bernie Sanders campaign. 

There were some more adventures, both good and bad, including some in Philadelphia during the 2016 DNC. 

In the Two years since, I’ve drifted further and further left, and become increasingly involved with reclaiming, permaculture, nonviolent communication, and anarchist circles. I’ve also been pursuing higher levels of skill as a cook. 

I don’t like binaries or absolutes. I don’t like false binaries or ultimatums. I have unpopular and controversial opinions and I don’t align myself with any group of people that advocates for the wholesale slaughter of any other group of people. I believe that every action is an attempt to meet a need. i do not align myself with any group that operates through power-over structures (though I will work alongside such groups when the need arises). I do believe in centering the voices of marginalized folks. But I don’t believe that being marginalized exempts anyone from the oppressor litmus test; I’ve seen people act incredibly abusive toward their communities while basically claiming that all of their actions were justified or excusable because they are belong to an oppressed or marginalized group. This is the logic that the occupation of Palestine and genocide of the Palestinian people is being carried out under and I’m not aligning myself with any group or person who uses it to excuse inexcusable actions. (This doesn’t mean I’m into tone policing or overzealous insistence on “civility.” I just don’t like abusive people or dynamics and they come in all colors and flavors.)

So that’s me, I guess. I have good days, bad days, I’ve wrestled with depression and suicidal ideation, I’ve touched and changed people’s lives, I’m loved and sometimes I forget that. I love everyone and I mourn for all who are cut off from our best selves.