#also also i'm not ready to add a bunch more clothing types right now or maybe even anytime soon

[shopwitchvamp]

Please make a flare leg option for joggers. Some of us have fat calves we don't wanna show off :/

I've got one other request for flares recently, but even if I started on those today it'd take a lot of time & testing to get them to the point of being ready to actually put up into the shop. I've got a lot of other stuff in the works right now so unfortunately flare leg pants are pretty far down the list.

[helyiios]

Shitty pedagogy and vaguely masochistic tendencies : a study of Team Hunt handling trainees

(Team Hunt dynamics, Ethan/Benji in the background, 3.1k)

this one goes out to @liass-21 because this is a stupid thing we've brewed yesterday at like 1AM or something

When they'd learnt they'd get a special, week long training with the members of Team Hunt, the new batch of agents in training had felt particularly proud and lucky. A little fearful, too, but they were more than ready to be able to learn from the greats. There were 60 of them, all split in teams of 15. Each member of Team Hunt had agreed to it, except for Luther Stickell, who had told Secretary Hunley, that, he quotes, "could not be fucking bothered." 

Which led them to this, standing awkwardly in the middle of a massive amphitheater, in their training clothes, waiting for the legends to deign arrive. When they did, the trainees couldn't help but feel sweat drip down their spines. Would they ever amount to what would be expected of them ? Could they prove their worth ? They sure hoped so. 

"Hello, everyone," Ethan fucking Hunt said first, looking extremely relaxed in his teeshirt and jeans, "it's nice to meet you all. I'm Ethan Hunt, special field agent for the IMF, and team leader. As you know, we've been asked to supervise you this week, and we all look forward to it. We all specialise in different areas during missions, but we've all received the same training, which covers everything from honeypot situations to sharpshooting. A week is not a long time to develop your skills, but we're hoping to help you with it. Do your best and you'll be alright. Now, I'll let my team present themselves," he adds, gesturing at the two men and the woman besides him. 

She's the first to step forward, also dressed casually, hair in a loose ponytail. Her face is warm, compared to those of the two other men. 

"I'm Jane Carter. Field agent. I specialise in hand-to-hand combat, it's very nice to meet you. I hope we will work well together." 

"William Brandt," the man in the sharp grey suit says then, raising one hand. "Assistant to the Secretary. I don't go out in the field as much as these two anymore," he adds, pointing at his teammates, "but don't let it fool you. I expect a lot from you all, and I will not go easy on any of you." 

He finally turns to the last agent, a tall blond man who was wearing a seemingly fitted navy blue suit and an undone white shirt under—slightly less formal than Brandt, but still less casual than the two others. He'd actually been on his phone the whole time, typing something with his right thumb, face fully focused. There's an awkward silence in the room that lasts for a few seconds, and a cough from Ethan before he actually looks up, blinking and sniffing unceremoniously. 

"Right," he mumbles, putting his phone back in his pocket, a heavy British accent lacing his words, "I'm Benjamin Dunn. Field agent and Field technician. Huh. Nice to meet you all." 

The trainees look at each other, unanimously deciding that he looked the most unassuming of the bunch. His posture was awkward, and slouched, and so were his words. Clearly, he seemed to be the weakest link.

Ethan Hunt was a legend, someone who defied the odds, Jane Carter looked like she could kill you by just blinking, and William Brandt looked weirdly psychorigid. If anything, whichever team got Benjamin Dunn would be the luckiest. Plus, what was there to expect from a technician ? 

They're all split evenly a few minutes later, each team heading out of the room to other ones, specially arranged for their training. Hunt, for some weird reason, had sent an odd look to the team that had drawn Dunn. He had sent an odd look to Dunn period, actually, but none of the trainees tried to really focus on that. 

There were various sports and gym-like contraptions in the wide room, some treadmills, ropes, dumbbells, and more. And a desk, too, for some fucking reason. Benji Dunn makes a beeline towards it, sitting loudly in the chair and raising his legs to slam his feet on the table. He looked at his team through his long lashes, decidedly unphased. 

"Twenty minutes on the treadmills at 12kmph, or 7.4mph for your Americans," he says mildly. "By the end of the week, I want you to run at 10mph for at least ten minutes." 

"WHAT ?!" the vast majority of his team blurts out, eyes wide and mouth hanging low, "but sir, that's not—" 

"Official training makes you run at 9mph for ten minutes. Why are you complaining ?" 

Some of the men recoil, clearly taken aback by his tone. This was definitely not what they had expected from him. 

"But can't we start with some hand-to-hand combat ?" someone else whines, probably feeling bold, "what use is it to run ? We all know how to that." 

"Yeah, and you won't have the cardio for a proper fight," Benji replies simply, eyes back on his phone screen. Faint noises come out from it, something oddly familiar, and then they realise—

Was he playing fucking Subway Surfers ?

"What would you know about that ?" a young woman retorts, hands on her hips, "you're a field tech. You probably don't want to teach us combat because you actually don't know how do it." 

Benji actually looks up at that, mouth contorting slightly, trying to stay quiet before—

Before he snorts, covering his face and turning away a little to try and hide his hilarity. Now he's full on giggling, which doesn't help with the frustrated blush on the poor woman's face. This goes on for a few seconds before he wipes his eyes, shaking his head slightly. With an exaggerated display of effort he gets back up, cracking his neck and walking over to them. He plants himself in front of the trainee, towering her and cocking his head to the side. 

"You're lucky I have one hundred and twenty four blue keys in my game," he begins, "because I was beating my personal record, just now. I'm not teaching you hand-to-hand combat because you wouldn't be good at it. You need to work on your stamina, first." 

"Or maybe we can use the element of surprise !" someone behind him shouts, and he groans before stepping aside, watching the other trainee miss him by a few centimeters. He defeatedly watches him try and take a swing at him, moving his hands uselessly in the hair, and he can't help but think about Ilsa. It would've been fun to see her do that thigh movement she always used. Once, Jane had said that she'd found it hot, and he'd gagged. 

Whatever. He focuses back on that poor kid who was stalling, throwing hits here and there, and Benji simply kept wobbling from one feet to another to avoid him. It was sort of pathetic, kind of like that time in Vienna when Ethan had to fight that super tall guy. 

With a sigh he finally grabs his wrist, twisting it slightly until the trainee had to put a knee down, whimpering in pain.  Benji kept twisting, looking at him in sheer disinterest. It was not until he'd heard him beg for him to let go that he steps back, putting his hands back in his pockets. Some other trainees had jumped to their teammate's rescue, looking at his reddening muscles in worry.

"Now," Benji says, tone bored, "can you get on those fucking treadmills ?" 

His team looks at him dejectedly, and they all find themselves a spot. There are a few that cannot, due to a lack of enough equipment, and they vaguely wonder if that meant they were safe. 

"You all," he however calls out to them, arms crossed, "fifty pushups, fifty bungees. Repeat until I say it's over." 

"What the fuck," one of the trainees mutters, and suddenly they're jealous of the assholes who were about to go run. 

They get to work, though, even if most of them curse all the way through it. Hours pass, they switch exercises, and they're already sweating buckets. 

"I need to go talk to Hunt," Benji then suddenly says, gesturing at them vaguely, "keep on doing what you're doing. There's a camera watching you. If you don't do as told, I'm going to get real fucking annoyed. Got it ?" 

They all groan in agreement, and then he's disappeared from the room altogether. They look at each other, some with tears of exhaustion in their eyes, but they get back to their activities nonetheless.

—

"Working hard or hardly working ?" Ethan says as soon as he spots his husband, offering him his brightest smile, "how are they doing ?" 

"Why did I agree to this ?" Benji whines, letting his head drop in the crook of the other man's neck, "this is so boring ! They're so boring ! None of them can run at a decent pace !" 

"Define decent ?" 

"15kmph ?" 

"Yeah," Ethan snorts, "that's not decent. Wait—are you torturing those kids ?" 

A shrug.

"Benji !" 

"What ? They're not kids ! They're, fucking—I dunno, over twenty five ! They're full blow adults, they pay their taxes ! You know what some girl told me ? Huuuuh, you're not making us fight because you're a field tech and you don't know how to !" he says, voice pitched higher and tone full on mocking. "Like, who does she thing she is ?" 

"Baby—" 

"And when I passed the field exam, they made me run at 17kmph. And I was older than them. Do you know for how long I puked after it ? Mate, it was not pretty. If I can do it, so can they." 

"I don't think—" 

"Hey, you guys !" Jane calls out as she trots towards them, "all's good ? Training going okay ?" 

"Marvelous," Benji sarcastically replies. "You ?" 

"Yeah, yeah. They're sweet, sort of. Told them I'd bring them muffins at the end of the week." 

"Wow, you actually give a shit about them. Thrilling." 

"What, you don't ?" she frowns, "I mean I don't know, I want to make it interesting for them, y'know ?" 

Benji scoffs, running a hand through his hair.

"They're big boys and big girls, they can handle themselves. I'm not going to bake them fucking cookies. Like who am I ? Fucking Mother Theresa ?" 

"Sometimes," Ethan begins, an amused smile curling his lips, "I forget that we're part of the very exclusive 'people I care about' Benji Dunn club. How many are we in there ? Five ?" 

"I mean, six if we count Hunley," his husband shrugs, pursing his lips. "You make me sound like an asshole ! I'm just saying that I'm here to make them field agents. Not to stuff them with your homemade blueberry muffins." 

"Wh—you love my blueberry muffins, asshole !" 

"I really do," he sighs. "Where's Will ?" 

"Introducing them to the art of filling a report correctly," Jane grins, "he was very adamant about that." 

"That's so hot I might just wet my pants," Benji grimaces, turning back to look over at the door leading to his room. "I'll head back. God knows what they're all fucking doing. Hopefully not having an orgy." 

"Benji—" 

"Dude, ew !" 

"What ? It's a possibility. I'll see you tonight for drinks," he adds, waving them goodbye before turning on his heels, leaving the two other agents to stare at his back a little dumbfounded.

"You know he's making them run at 9mph ?" Ethan asks his friend, grinning when he sees the shock on her face, "yeah, I had the same reaction." 

"I think he's too used to you." 

"And I think we forget he finished first of his promotion during the field agent training." 

"He's so weird and scary." 

"Mm," he simply hums, looking dreamily into the distance. "Anyway. Time to go back, too. Catch you later." 

"Yeah, yeah. See you." 

Should she also make chocolate chip muffins, she wonders ? 

—

At first, Alan Hunley had thought it was a great idea, that whole Hunt thing with the trainees. He'd seen how Ethan had been when he'd started as a mentor, and he deeply believed in his pedagogy. He knew Brandt would not disappoint as well, and he was fairly confident in Carter, too. 

Now. 

The remaining issue was the last agent. Dunn. Why was it always Dunn ? Was he not tired of wearing him out ? Had the blown up buildings in central London not been enough ? What kind of mental illnesses did he have ?

Scratch that.

What kind of mental illnesses did he not have ?

Was he just like that ? 

He stares at the ten reports in front of him. Ten trainees who'd walked out the course on day three, four, and five. Some of them crying. It almost makes him want to laugh, but then he remembers that he has a moral code and actual human feelings, so he doesn't. Instead, he just sighs. 

Today was day seven. The last day. Surely Benji Dunn wouldn't be doing anything out of the norm. Right ? 

That's the mantra he keeps repeating to himself as he walks down from his office to the special rooms, hoping to get a small glimpse at whatever the fuck Team Hunt was up to. Hopefully, Ethan was not telling them about the benefits of jumping off a plane, or kidnapping the King of England, or anything like that. 

At least he hopes so ?

He hears them before he can see them, and he makes his way inside the training room quietly, sitting in a corner to try and not disrupt whatever was happening. Brandt and Dunn were standing in the middle of the room, everyone else watching intently, silence reigning. 

"So," Brandt says, tone horribly high pitched, "do you want to have sex with me ?" he asks, and his voice breaks on that last syllable, and then Benji Dunn's folding on the side and audibly retches. 

"And this," Ethan immediately says, eyes closed and mouth in a thin line, "is not how you try and deal with a target during a honeypot mission." 

"But it can be how you deal with a hierarchic superior," Brandt supplies, index raised, and Jane Carter snorts so loud Hunley's sure that he can see some fucking spit flow out of her mouth. "Don't get too handsy with the marks, though, we're here to get information, not get jailed for sexual assault." 

"Yeah, tell that to Ethan," Jane mutters, rolling her eyes.

"Oh for Christ's sake, I kissed you once in Mumbai, and it wasn't even a full kiss ! A peck at most ! Can you please get over it ?!" 

"God, when I'm gonna tell Ilsa about it..." 

"Ethan's a good kisser, though," Benji offers, hands on his hips, "But I reckon Brandt's too eager on the tongue. Don't get me wrong, it's fun, but it's also really wet." 

"I am so delighted to hear about all of that," their Secretary cuts them off, taking them all by surprise as he gets up from his bench and walks towards them, "I see the training is going well. Only 17 people have given up so far ! Ten of which were in your team, agent Dunn ! Congratulations !" 

"Ella's getting tested for PTSD," a trainee tells him, and Jane whistles lowly at that. 

"Sir," Ethan replies, ever so professional, "it's good to see you. We were—huh, going over honeypot strategies." 

"I can see that."

"It's not going too well," Brandt adds.

"I can also see that." 

"I wish Luther was there," Benji then suddenly pipes up, making everyone turn to him. "He flirted with me once, he even used his low voice and all. Closest thing I'll ever get to get hit on by Idris Elba," he sadly says. "Shame, really." 

"You know," Hunley notes, feeling a vein burst on his forehead, "if I stay here for a minute more, I might be tempted fire all four of you." 

"Is that a promise ?" the British agent asks, face eager. "Can we do the pinky thing ?" 

"Go back to work," his superior groans, sending death glares to them all. "These kids better be fit for field agent training tonight." 

"Yes sir," Ethan nods, watching him stomp out of the room. He stares back at the group, feeling oddly defeated. "Okay, who wants to do some practice target shooting ?" 

Everybody cheers. 

—

By the end of the week Benji had made fourteen people cry, Brandt had traumatised five of them with his whole administrative kink, Jane had brought them her muffins and Ethan had gotten love letters from twenty trainees. Benji actually made fun of him for it once they'd gotten home, but his husband had gotten sort of defensive, saying he'd found it 'sweet.' 

If one thing was sure, it's that they were not meant to be teaching whatever the fuck their missions required them to do. They were a messy team, full of messy people, who did things out of order and, you guessed it, messily. They'd found it fun, though, as far as fun could go when they'd had ten trainees puke their brains out after one of Benji's exercises (he'd called it automatic cleansing, which Ethan, Jane and Brandt thought was fucking weird,) and they had to promise to Hunley to never interact with young trainees ever again, out of fear of breaking them psychologically before they'd even gotten the chance to get in the field. 

Ethan and Benji were spread on their couch that night, slightly tipsy from the drinks their team had shared in honour of the shitshow being over, and the former was fighting an endless battle with his brain to try and not blurt out what he really wanted to say. 

"It's hot when you get all authoritative," he finally breaks, sounding insanely lame, averting his gaze from his husband's. 

"What ?" 

"I mean, when you...give orders," he further explains, trying to play it cool. "It's attractive. Is what I mean." 

"Well," Benji snorts, "'course I give orders. I'm the voice in your ear. That's sort of my job." 

"Yeah, okay. No need to be so cocky." 

"Aw, E. You're so cute when you're flustered." 

Ethan brutally blushes, sending him a glare that would've made anyone who wasn't his husband probably piss their pants. 

"Not flustered." 

"Whatever you say, darling," the other giggles, going back to watch their movie. "I hope none of the kids we've trained are going to die brutally in a traumatising field event," he then says, very calmly. "That'd be a shame."

"You're so weird," Ethan mutters, going to kiss him. "I hope so too." 

"Mm." 

They stay cuddled by each other's side until they fall asleep. 

[justvibewithjas]

𝚃𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚞𝚗 𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚄𝚙

Content Warning: Barely any plot, he's a gentleman, consent is hot, fem!reader, switch!König

3RD PERSON POV:

Y/n walk out of the barracks in her citizen clothes. She's filled with the anticipation of going home to her actual bed and she can't wait to get home. She so tired from missions. She looks down at her phone when she bump into something and out of instinct she pulls back and punches whoever it is in the gut.

He lets out a surprised grunt as he falls down and gasps for air.

"Ow- What was that for," He asks. Oh shit its König.

"Im so sorry I didn't mean to do that," She says cupping her mouth.

"It's fine," He says and gets back up.

"So um König would you like to go for a coffee sometime so I can make up for that," She says awkwardly and scratch the back of her neck. Please don't hate me. She thought.

"Hmm... yeah, I think I would. How often do you get days off? I know that we'll be busy on ops so it might be tough finding a good time. You want to trade numbers?," He responds. He's already reaching over to his tac-pack, looking ready to pull out his phone.

"Yeah sure. I have next week off so I'll be at my apartment off base for awhile," She says.

He smiles.

"Ok, here's my number," He says. She reaches for her phone and puts his number in.

He types in her name, then turns his phone around and hands it to her. She puts her number in and gives it back.

"What do you like to do in your free time," He asks.

Without thinking words come out of her mouth.

"You," She says and cups her hands on her mouth. Y/n's cheeks burn red. "I am so sorry."

He blushes a little.

"Well, I didn't see that coming. I guess your moves are pretty effective, huh," He says.

She just accidentally hit on him but he doesn't seem to mind in the slightest bit.

"Almost always," She says.

"Almost always? Well now I'm curious about those times it doesn't work. What happens when it doesn't work," He says laughing.

"Oh I was joking I get what I want pretty easy," She responds.

He grins and nods before responding. "Alright, so it's an almost guaranteed yes when you ask? Just need to figure out what your type is,"He says and winks. He winked at her. He smirks and laughs.

"Oh I like my men big and tall," She replies coyly.

"I'm definitely tall but... big? In height or width?," He says as he flexes his muscles. She can't help but laugh at him he's adorable.

"So you think that you're my type huh," She retorts. He smiles and speaks again.

"We're gonna have to see about that," König. His eyes twinkle a little bit and she can tell he's smiling from his eyes. "Well, I can't turn down a pretty face, so I'd say you're my type too. Are you single or do I have some competition?"

"I'm single," She responds.

"You're definitely my type, so that gives you a pretty good advantage." He smiles. " Hmm, so what's your idea of the perfect date? Dinner? Movies?," He is still smirking. This is the most she's ever heard him talk.

"A movie night in with a good home cooked meal and snacks is good with me," She responds.

"Ooh. Do you like ones that are really scary? I'm always trying to find a good horror to scare the pants off me - those are the best kind. Or do you kinda like those campy movies that are more goofy? We could get some snacks, cozy up, and binge watch a bunch of them," He says. It's funny to imagine the giant König scared of a simple film.

"My favorite are the scream movies," She replies. She adds in quickly "I also kinda think Ghostface is hot,"

"Scream. That's the one with the "phone call from the killer" theme, right? I always thought those kinds of movies were kind of silly, but I could be interested if you watch them with me." He smiles and blushes a little. "So what do you think of guys in tactical face mask? Do those count?"He says while pointing at his mask. She turns red a little but answers him.

"I don't mind it. Oh wow," She says and checks the time on her phone."Hey I gotta go. Text or call me when you wanna come over for that movie marathon pretty boy."

He chuckles and leans in close to her.

"You got your work cut out for you," He whispers in her ear. "I'll be in touch." He smiles in that moment, then turns to walk away, looking back over his shoulder.

"Have a good one, pretty girl," He winks and chuckles a little as he walks.

****

Over the next few days they text constantly and one night they even called, both of them fell asleep. Both of them are starting to develop heavy feelings.

Y/n is in her kitchen washing dishes when she gets an idea to call König and invite him over.

He picks up his phone with a smile on his face. He takes a minute to clear his throat before answering.

"Yello? This my pretty girl?" He says with a light hearted tone. His voice is pleasant and calm. "How are you doing today?" It's clear that König's happy to hear from her and has been thinking about her since they talked last.

"It is. I'm good I was wondering if your free for that dinner and movie marathon tonight," She asks.

He smiles over the phone and looks at his calendar. "Well, would you look at that... I do happen to be free tonight," He says.

"Good because you're gonna get the crap scared out of you," She says laughing. "Be here at 7 okay," She adds.

He laughs a little at the way she said that.

"Alright, 7 o'clock it is. I'll see you then," He says with a warm smile in his voice before hanging up and getting ready for his date with his "pretty girl".

Time flies and before he knows it, it's around 7. He grabs his car keys and makes sure he looks good before walking out to his Jeep. In order to be on time, he starts his Jeep up and begins driving in her direction. He stops and gets some flowers. He pulls into the parking lot and he smiles to himself as walks up the stairs of her apartment building. He quickly jogs up to her door and knocks. As he waits, his heart is beating a little faster and his palms start to get sweaty. Is this girl serious about me? Or was it just a passing flirtation? He knocks again and as he feels a little nervous, wondering if he's come to the right place. She opens the door with a bright smile. He flashes a huge smile, happy to see her.

"You look beautiful," He says with a warm and genuine tone. He looks you up and down, admiring her overall appearance. He holds out the flowers and her smile grows a bit bigger.

"Wow that's so sweet of you," She says and takes the flowers from him. She steps out of the way and allows him inside her apartment. He comes inside and looks around. It's a nice place . "Y'know I didn't need flowers right. However I am not complaining about getting flowers from a cute guy.

He blushes a little from the compliment but holds his composure.

"Just trying to treat a beautiful woman with the same respect she deserves," He says with a light chuckle. Her face flushes but she turns around and goes to grab a vase for the flowers from the kitchen. He follows her and leans against the counter. "It smells good in here what did you cook," He asks as he crosses his arms.

"Vodka pasta and it's just about done. You go sit down, I'll bring it over in a second," She says as she puts the flowers into the vase.

"Oh okay," He responds and sits at the island on a barstool. He watches her grab the pot and a bowl of salad. She sets the down and grabs glasses and a bottle of wine. He can't help but be amazed with her. She moves in such fluid movements. Her shirt hugs her chest perfectly. Her jeans are tight on her thighs and her ass. His face gets red just watching her and he has to look away.

She serves him a plate of pasta and salad and then serves herself one. She sits down and pours them both a glass of wine.

"I hope you like it," She says before taking a sip of her wine.

"I'm sure it will be lovely," He says and grabs his fork to try it. He takes a bite and his eyes widen.

"Is it bad," She asks.

"No it's wonderful mein liebling," He says smiling at her. Her face flushes slightly at his words. She smiles back at him.

After they finish eating she leads him into the front room and they sit down on the couch. She puts the first Scream movie on. They get to the part where Sidney has the Ghostface mask on.

"Wow she's really messing them up," König says. She looks up at him. Sometime during the movie she got closer to him. His arm is wrapped around her and he's holding her close.

"Yeah she is. She's one of the best final girls in horror films," She says looking back at the screen.

"You are absolutely gorgeous." He says his hand coming up and stroking her jaw. His thumb drags across her bottom lip. Her face reddens but she leans into his touch. "May I," He asks leaning towards her.

"Yes," She closes her eyes and leans the rest of the way in. His lips are surprisingly soft. He tilts his head and deepens the kiss. Using his left hand he pulls her closer to him by her waist. She straddles him and wraps her arms around the back of his neck. His hands feel up her thighs and he squeezes them. They pull back and both of them are panting and both their faces are flushed.

"You're a good kisser engel," He says looking up at her. Her face flushes slightly more at the nickname.

"Oh shut up and kiss me again," she says and pulls his face to her and smashes her mouth to his. He groans and grabs her ass. She slowly starts to grind down on him. Her hips moving in circular motions. His breath hitches but he pushes up against her. He craves her touch.

"You're driving me crazy," he breathes out. She smiles against his lips before answering him.

"Good,"

"That's it. Bedroom," he says.

"Down the hall all the way back," She responds. He scoops her up and carries her to the bedroom. He tosses her onto the bed and she laughs as she bounces on the mattress. He walks closer to her and she pulls him all the way to her by his belt loops. His hand reaches out and caresses her jaw.

She unbuckles his belt and hooks her fingers into his pants she pulls them down. His gasps a little as the cool air hits him. Y/n reaches out and slowly starts to stroke him. His hand leaves her jaw and grabs a hold of her shoulder to ground himself.

"Ah," he groans and his head falls forward. She speeds her hand up. She slides from the bed down onto her knees. She takes her tongue and licks from the base of his dick up to the tip. She swirls her tongue around him before taking him into her mouth. His breath catches as he feels her do this. She bobs her head on him fast taking as much of him as she can. She looks up at him and his face is flushed bright red. He whimpers as he places his hand on her head. She uses her hand to stroke him as she takes him into her mouth.

The sudden movement takes him by surprise, and a little yelp comes out of him, "Wow..."

His head jerks back a little with the movement and then he takes in a deep breath and leans back in the bed.

He smiles a little and says, "I'm guessing you liked that?"

"You're pretty sensitive here." She says.

He sighs, "You're just gonna tease me, aren't you?" He chuckles and shakes his head a little bit.

"Maybe...maybe not."

He looks at her as she touches his skin and says, "I really don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything."

He laughs to himself and says, "I'm just really surprised at how this all went. I didn't think this would go this far."

She leans forward and licks from the base and up his shaft. She kisses his tip and swipes her tongue across his slit. She nods before taking him into her mouth and moving up and down on his shaft. His eyes open with surprise, his mouth hung open a bit, "Woah..."

He sighs and adds, "Well, you're doing that just right."

His face still flushes from the sensations and he's a little speechless. She smiles and looks up at him. Drool is leaking down her chin as she does this. He closes his eyes a little bit and enjoys the feeling, letting her do most of the work. He looks back back at her and smiles softly, "You're having a little too much fun doing that."

She mumbles something and it sends vibrations through him. He gasps a little and tilts his head to the side, not quite expecting this.

"W-what did you say?" He asks softly, clearly not hearing her right. He smirks again and laughs, "You can't mumble with your mouth...being all occupied."

She laughs around him. "Mm hmm," She looks up at him bobbing her head faster. He whines and tangles his hand in her hair. He starts bucking his hips up into her mouth. His voice fails him as he chases his release. After a moment he thrusts up into her mouth hard and cum leaks down her throat. He falls back against the bed panting. She smiles and swallows everything. Licking the side of her mouth to get some of the fluid that leaked out.

"Fuck Y/n," He groans covering his face his chest raising and falling quickly.

"You all tuckered out König," She says teasingly.

He smiles down at her. "Not in the slightest." He runs his finger across her bottom lip and pulls her to him by her throat.

"Oh?" She groans feeling her body heat up.

"Pants off now," He says. She obliges him and takes her clothes off. He lays back and grabs her thigh and lower back. She gasps as he rubs against her clit. He pushes her thighs apart and pushes himself into her.

"Oh fuck," She sighs and her head falls back.

"Mhm hmm," He groans and his hands squeeze her hips. He slides his hands up and down her thighs as she starts to move in slow circular motions against him. She whines as his dick rubs against her g-spot.

"König!" She groans and holds onto his shoulders as he starts to thrust up into her hard. She wraps her arms around his neck and buries her face there as well. She was drowning in the feeling of him Every thought she had was of him. How he looked. How he smelled. Everything. She was being consumed and she wanted to be swallowed by him. She wanted him. No she needed him.

"Y/n," He whines into her ear. God the way his voice sounded made her weak. His arms were wrapped around her as he thrusted up to meet her movements. "Y/n please don't stop...I'm...I'm so close."

That confession. That drove her mad. She bit into his neck marking him as hers. There was no way she was letting him go. Not when the way he touched her set her skin on fire and especially not when she was so utterly entangled in him. Everything before him seemed so fruitless.

"Cum for me König," She whispered into his ear tugging his hair slightly at the nape. His hands found her hips and his pace became ungodly. His voice becoming whiny and breathy as he chased his release. His hands dug into the soft flesh of her hips pulling her up and down on him. She groaned and bit down onto his shoulder. Her own release was approaching as well. That oh so familiar knot was forming in her stomach. Begging to snap.

"Y/n~," He whimpered and thrust up into her one last time. His fluid coating her insides sent her over the edge and her back arches as she hit her high. Both of their fluids leaked down her thighs. Flowing down to his v-line and onto the bed below. Neither of them moved for a moment as they clinged to each other.

"That was great. You did such a good job König," She said smiling at him. She felt him twitch and saw his face redden at the praise. She smiled to herself when she realized the meaning of that reaction. "You good to go again I'm assuming." She said lift his jaw up so his eyes met hers. He nodded eagerly with cheeks a slightly redder tone.

She pushed down on his chest and guided him down towards the bed. She smiles down at him. Unknown to her, he was enthralled with her as well. When her voice rang out and complimented him on pleasing her, he decided that he wanted nothing more than to do that. To make her his and to spend the rest of his life with her. This was the beginning of the end for them.

[tyunniverse]

TXT x DISNEY Halloween Shorts 🎃 (3/5)

pairing: ot5 x reader

genre: fluff — college au

warnings: light swearing

synopsis: there's a halloween event at your uni and a few students are in the mood for misfit.

yeonjun | soobin | beomgyu | taehyun | hueningkai

BEOMGYU | Beauty and The Beast (2.2k)

“Careful with the hair!”

You hiss when Jinsung, your classmate and stylist for tonight, slaps your hand away after attempting to touch your hair.

“If I even see a single hair strand out of place, so help me I will shave your entire head.” He warns, tapping your shoulder with his brush. “Now go out there and get us some customers. The others said they'll have the food ready on time.”

“Alright.” You try to smile at him and he returns your smile with a sour look.

Your department was throwing a Beauty and the Beast style buffet right in front of your building. Canopies were set up, clothed tables lined around the vicinity, and classy decorations covered the area to add to the whole atmosphere. The dishes to be served are supposed to mimic the food found throughout the movie, with the servers dressed up as some of the minor characters. By some odd stroke of luck, you ended up being chosen as Belle and you were pretty sure some guy named Yeonjun from the other class was supposed to dress up as the Beast.

You got up from your seat and fetch the flyers from the table. The plan was to head up to where the crowds are and advertise your event there. You were all set to go, the only thing left missing being your partner.

Out of nowhere, a group of guys dressed as dwarfs appear. You can't make out what or who it was that they're carrying, but they were surely in a hurry, not caring a bit about their surroundings as they zoom past you, causing you to stumble back. Your heel catches the end of your gown and you start to fall backwards. Closing your eyes shut and bracing yourself for an awkward fall, you were pleasantly surprised when your back hit something soft instead— definitely not the concrete below— someone's chest you presume, their arms quickly wrapping around you protectively.

“Careful.” You hear the person say as they slowly help you on your feet. “Jinsung might throw a fit if you ruin your hair.” He chuckles, bringing his hand to his face.

You turn around and nearly got a scare when you're faced with the face of a beast, quite literally. Turns out your partner hadn't planned on being late after all. “Yeonjun, right?” You haven't actually met the guy but you've heard a few people talk about him. They say he had died his hair pink recently but you couldn't really see behind the terrifying full head mask he had on. You wonder how well he could breathe inside that thing.

“Uh, yeah.” The Beast replies, seeming somehow unsure of his own name. “I'm Yeonjun.”

“Nice meeting you then. I'm Y/N.” You don't bother offering him a handshake, knowing that you two barely had time to chat. “Let's get going. It's almost time.”

Beomgyu stays a few feet away from you as you handed out flyers to a bunch of costume clad strangers. Both of you were pretty busy right now, but he still manages to steal a few glances at you, admiring how beautiful you looked in that Belle costume. He almost wishes he could see you dressed like that everyday. Impractical, sure, but it was just a passing thought anyway. Thank heavens the costume had small peeping holes, otherwise you'd have caught him dead in the act of staring at you every few minutes or so.

“Try our buffet!” He greets two of the students passing by, handing them a flyer.

“What do you think, Soojin?” The student holding a tray of candied apples asks the other.

“I think not. We still have to visit that guy in the infirmary.” The friend replies. One of them gives Beomgyu an apologetic look before they leave.

Beomgyu watches the crowd pass by, his eyes naturally wandering to your side. He finds himself smiling when he saw you all focused on attracting customers, even going as far as to give them brief reenactments of their favorite scenes. Beomgyu loved that he was able to spend this time with you. He only wished that you knew it was actually him inside the costume and not Yeonjun, but he couldn't even find the courage to bring it up. He's not even sure why.

Yeonjun had asked him earlier today to be his substitute in handing flyers. Beomgyu had initially declined, but after hearing that you were going to be his partner for tonight— You, the student from across the hall that he'd been crushing on since freshman year— he was more than ecstatic to accept. This was his chance to actually interact with you without making things awkward.

“Why the fuck did I even say I was Yeonjun?” He huffs, only now had he found his costume stuffy. He really could have just told you before you started on your work, but he panicked and told you a lie instead. Great.

An hour had passed and Rina, one of your classmates, had come to inform you two that a lot of people were now dining at the buffet, and that you were allowed to rest for half an hour before your final wave of work.

You spot a bench nearby and walk over to Yeonjun. “Hey, let's take a rest over there.” You point at the bench. Yeonjun merely nods and follows you as you made your way to it. You take notice that he barely talked to you the entire time you were together. People said he was a chatterbox but apparently not tonight.

Just as you two sat down, Rina came back— this time, looking for someone. “Hey, have any of you seen Beomgyu?”

Hearing the name made you pause and blink. “Beomgyu?”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

You glance at Yeonjun who kept shaking his head.

“Haven't seen him.”

Weird, you think. He was purposefully changing the pitch of his voice as he spoke to your classmate. You figure his throat was probably just dry from all the advertising he did earlier.

Rina turns to you, eyebrows raised with a smirk plastered on her face. “How about you, Y/N? I'm sure you've seen him.”

Eyes wide, you feel the heat rushing to your cheeks. Rina knew about your obvious crush on Beomgyu. The entire class knew. A few jokes were made, like how when someone from his class is looking for him, they'd ask if your Beomgyu radar was up and running. That joke was brought upon by your own little ability to somehow spot him easily within a crowd. That however, proved useless tonight. You hadn't seen him at all.

You spare Yeonjun a look. This was not a good time for Rina to be teasing you. He and Beomgyu are classmates and if he found out that you had a crush on the guy then who knows what'll happen. You didn't want him to think you were crazy when Rina ends up saying something stupid and overly exaggerated— you hope she won't. Your crush on Beomgyu wasn't even that big of a deal. Sure, sometimes you'd find your heart fluttering when you spot him laughing from the other side of the hallway, and maybe sometimes you'd wished you could just come up to him and pinch his cheeks but you've barely even spoken to the guy so—

“What are you talking about?” You laugh it off, patting Rina on the side while slipping in a few stink eyes. “I haven't seen him at all.”

“Is that so?” Rina sighs. For a second, you thought she would just let it go when she turned her back on you but the devil in her was in the mood to play. “Tell me when your Beomgyu radar picks him up then! We need him to help in the kitchen.”

Yeonjun turns to to you. “Beomgyu radar?”

You shrink in your seat.

Was Beomgyu hearing right? Did your classmate just ask you something about a Beomgyu radar? Your Beomgyu radar? Did she normally joke like that or was it intentional? Perhaps she knew he was the one in the costume and not Yeonjun, but he highly doubted that. Could you perhaps?

Beomgyu turns to you. “Beomgyu radar?”

Your face shifted into a mix of emotions that Beomgyu had trouble deciphering. “D-Don't mind her.” You stammer, waving your hands at him. “She's just joking as always. Ah, Rina, such an asshol— assertive joker.” You laugh.

“Right.” Beomgyu laughs along. He felt disappointed, thinking that he was probably just reading too much into it. “What are the odds of you crushing on Beomgyu, right?”

“Exactly!” Your reply was quick. Too quick for Beomgyu's liking. He observes your reaction and notices how red your ears were. Were you embarrassed? Was the idea of crushing on him too much for you? Did you not find him attractive in the least? At this point, he knows he was overthinking but couldn't help but succumb to it.

“Yeah..” He sighs, slumping his back on the bench. “He's probably not your type.”

You flinch. “What?”

“There's not really much to like about him.” Beomgyu shrugs.

“You're wrong.”

He sees you cross your arms, a frown present on your face. “I haven't really met him yet but from what I've seen in the past few years, I can say that there's a whole list of things one could like about him.”

Oh? Beomgyu certainly didn't expect this. “Like what?”

“He's one of the most considerate people I know.” You smile. “Sometimes I'd see him cleaning up after others, giving up seats on the bus, and going out of his way to help anyone in need. He even helped me out that one time I was late for our finals.” You chuckle at the fond memory. It was the day you made up your mind about him.

“It was pretty embarrassing though. I was running through the gates and tripped. I sprained my ankle and no one else was around except for Beomgyu. Turns out he was also running late but didn't even stop to think twice about helping me. He carried me to the nurse's office and stayed there until my friends arrived. I couldn't even thank him properly after that since I was pretty disoriented. In the end, we both had to take the finals at another time.”

Beomgyu blinks. He can't believe you still remembered that day, especially when it was the very day he himself started crushing on you. Though, he'd always thought you didn't know who he was when that happened. “Oh..” He couldn't bring himself to say anything else.

“You know what?”

Beomgyu turns to you.

You smile. “He's exactly my type.”

Beomgyu didn't know what to feel. His cheeks heat up and he's sure it wasn't just the mask making him that way. You talked about that moment so fondly that it almost made him think that maybe— just maybe his feelings for you weren't all that one-sided after all.

He chuckles. He's about to do something stupid.

“Y/N.”

“Hm?”

“Do you perhaps..”

“Like him?” Beomgyu watches silently as you take the time to think.

This was probably too much. What if you didn't like him after all? Could he live knowing that he tricked you into answering that, thinking he was someone else. His thoughts come to a halt when you nod.

“I do.” You chuckle. “No use in hiding that now, huh?”

Beomgyu gulps. “Then..” Then what?

“Hm?”

“What if I say Beomgyu liked you too?”

Your furrow your brows in confusion. “What?”

Beomgyu grips the end of his mask. “I like you.”

“Yeonjun, you're not making any—”

He doesn't let you finish, yanking the mask off his face and revealing his disheveled look underneath.

“Beomgyu?!” You jump in surprise, and he stands up, following you. “How—”

“I like you, Y/N.” Beomgyu says, no longer caring about the consequences that'll follow after. “I really like you. I have for a long time now.”

You stare at him, speechless. “I.. haha.” You cover your face in your hands, laughing. “This is a joke right?”

“I wish it was.” Beomgyu awkwardly shifts in his spot. “But it's not. I'm being honest. I really like you.”

You move your hands away, now looking at him. “You know, as much as I want to hit you right now for tricking me into thinking you were Yeonjun all this time and basically had me going off about how much I appreciate you,” You pause. “I just can't.” You say, your cheeks reddening.

“Y/N, I—”

“There you are!”

Before either of you could react, Rina appears out of nowhere and grabs Beomgyu by the arm, practically dragging him way from you. “We've been looking for you all night! Jin wants you in the kitchen asap.”

Rina flashes you a thumbs up and you couldn't do anything but smile. “Good to see that your Beomgyu radar's still working!”

Judging by the way he was being mercilessly dragged away from you, it looks like Beomgyu had his hands tied with no escape. He waves his free arm at you. And you get the message. You're gonna have to talk about this soon.

You look down at the flyers on your hands and couldn't help but blush. He likes you too.

[hoes4hoseok]

Piper~ I know you like fashion stuff. Do you also happens to like make-up and stuff like this? If so, do you have any channels to recommend to a 100% noob Missy? xD Also, do you have somewhere you look for fashion inspiration? I really want to put an effort on this but I'm just clueless LOL I really like casual and comfortable stuff, but I'd also like to have some sense so it could at least be called a style SUHAUHSAHUSAUHUHSAUHASUHSAHUASHU [How have you been? It's been a while~]

OMG HEY MISSY I’M SO SORRY I FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS VJFKVBKDFJ BUT I’M READY TO GIVE YOU AN ANSWER EVEN IF YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE!! *ahem* here is:

how to pin-point your style (on a budget)

by piper

1. translate your thoughts into pictures

now, to you can either make a mood board, or you can make a pinterest board dedicated to it—how would you like to dress? how do you want to present yourself to others? while aesthetic pictures can help, try to include some parts that are more specific. what trends are you a fan of? do you like to wear rings? sweaters? corsets? it's different for everyone.

having one source of inspiration can be harmful--I like Pinterest because I can see a large array of ideas that I can pick and choose from!

2. take a look at your closet

this part looks very different for everyone—some have a larger selection, some have a smaller one. but don't worry! no matter the size, we'll get you to a better place than you were at the beginning:)

MY closet is 90% hand-me-downs. this means i have a surplus of 2011-2016 clothing, which obviously do not fit the trends at the moment. but i ask that before you throw out anything right away, consider how you could twist it into something you would wear.

for example:

if you have a dress that's too short for your taste, try tucking it into a pair of dress pants or jeans to wear as a top

if you've got a stain on your favorite hoodie, try embroidering over it so you can keep using it:)

old high school hoodies (or just any screen printed piece) you dont wear anymore? try using acetone to remove it! (there are a bunch of tutorials on this, i can link one if you can't find one. also, be careful and always spot-test)

try dying pieces if you aren't in love with the color anymore:)

now, from here, take note of anything you'd like to add to your closet. I recommend the general rule that I follow which is: if you can't picture yourself wearing it at least 20 times, it's not worth it!

because of this, it's a good idea to:

3. determine which essentials you need

this step ties in steps 1 and 2. determine which pieces you still need to fit the theme you’d like. 

for example: if you want your outfits to utilize a lot of sweaters and you don’t have any, an essential would be a simple, neutral sweater. (or a bright one! listen to your heart. if you’ll wear it a lot and enjoy your time in it, it’s worth it!)

essentials are different for everyone, but here’s a quick list that I’d use!

fishnet tights

a black long-sleeved shirt

a button up shirt

1-2 jeans (or other pants if jeans aren’t your thing) that fit you really well

a belt

some can be made, and others can be bought! it’s up to you how you do it. and don’t fret if you can’t get everything right away. everyone is in different situations, and this is when prioritizing is really important.

4. putting them together

this part is not as restrictive as a lot of y'all think! if there’s one thing you should take away from this post, it would be that you should always experiment. here are a couple general tips:

1. layer, layer, layer (even if you’re skeptical)

my mom prefers it if I don't wear revealing clothing, so layering is my best friend! wearing t-shirts under tank-tops and sweaters over other sweaters--it’s all worth a shot!

2. don’t limit the palette

don’t feel obligated to keep it to two or three colors! my favorite rule is to limit the colors in an outfit by the tone/shade/tint/hue. let me break it down a little bit:

a tone is made by adding grey to a color

a shade is made by adding black to a color

a tint is made by adding white to a color

a hue is a pure color on the color wheel

this is why outfits with mostly pastels (white added to all the colors) and jewel tones (a darker grey added to all the colors) look so great! sticking to one category for an outfit can’t go wrong.

don’t feel tied down by this, though! colors that break the rule can be included as accents. for example, a pastel top and pastel bag would look really cute with a pair of dark-wash jeans! it all varies:)

3. rethink the word “flattering”

personally, I don’t like thinking of outfits as flattering or unflattering to body types, since they all are just made with the goal of making an hourglass figure. if that’s what you want, then there are tons of tips online for it! but honestly, if it’s preventing you from having a good time with your clothing--remember that your clothings are a tool to express yourself and keep you warm and safe. your body is absolutely gorgeous and perfect for any clothing you want to wear.

4. break the rules.

if you like something, just wear it. just do it. you’ll learn what you like. I started off being told I looked like a farmer by my siblings at the beginning 2019, and since then, I've made a lot of progress! But I still love wearing denim-on-denim and won't stop just because someone else doesn't like it.

thanks for leaving an ask, @missskzbiased ! i hope this helps, even though I'm months late ;-; makeup will be in a separate part! I'm still working on my skills so I'll show you my resources for it lmao:)

[locoluis]

Pam's visit to the doctor

DISCLAIMER: This is a fictional story. I have no medical knowledge, so the following is all artistic licence and stuff taken from the web. Please consult a proper medical professional if you experience any of the symptoms described below. Oh, and sorry for the sloppy writing.

It has been from bad to worse during the last weeks. I don't like summer, I get way too sweaty and dehydrated. I get sunburned easily. I am self conscious about my body and will need to wear less than the normal amount of clothing I usually enjoy wearing, which attracts the stares of people who look like they haven't seen a girl with more than a B cup in their entire lives.

Like they never get out of this town.

I like going to the city, even though the climate is warmer there than up here in the hills, because nobody bats an eye about my appearance there, or at least not that much. The city centre is a couple hours away by bus. Only a few, elderly people are joining me in this trip I absolutely need to carry out.

The local paediatricians are as useless as the painkillers they prescribe. One of them said: “ At this point, you should consider going to an adult's doctor. ” Madam, I'm only twelve, and you're supposed to be able to take care of people through their late teens. Don't come at me with such rubbish.

Then my PE teacher recommended me this children's hospital in the city, and I got an appointment. I got so stressed during the bus trip that the box of chocolates that I brought with me didn't last long enough. I hope this isn't as bad as it feels.

Even though this is the second time I've seen this particular lady, I immediately recognised her. Shorter than me, dangerously skinny, with a childish face despite being in her mid-thirties, and a brunette ponytail of ridiculous length.

— Pamela Evans. I remember you.

— Dr. Eliana Martínez. You were the lady who awarded me the gold medal at the swimming competition a few months ago.

— Indeed. That was… a random, unusual philanthropic gesture from me. I must confess that your victory caught me by surprise, as you looked like you didn't even want to participate.

— Well, Mum taught me to swim at an early age, and she really wanted me to participate. But I hate PE with a passion, and it was really embarrassing for me to be in a swimsuit with all those people around. You can guess why.

— Yeah, I can relate, having been pregnant once. Never again.

I couldn't quite hide my amazement. How does such a twiggy lady manage to have a child growing inside such a tiny belly?

— Indeed, I have a daughter. Her name is Violeta, and she will soon be bigger than me. I carried my baby through full term, with no complications, shattering all expectations. I guess I'm a woman after all, ha ha ha. But enough about me; please tell me what brings you here.

I took a long breath.

— Doctor, during the last few weeks it's been difficult for me to concentrate in class, to get asleep, to get enough rest. I sweat way too much. I feel a lot of anxiety, even to the point of paranoia. Sometimes I feel my heart beating too hard and too fast. Sometimes I feel a burning sensation in my chest. And I've been putting on quite some weight, though I'm not sure how much of that is just going through puberty.

— Well, body changes are normal through puberty, and girls grow and develop at different rates.

— I'm aware of that. All my classmates still look like children. I'm the only one with the shape of a grown-up woman at twelve.

— About that. When I was twelve, it was the exact opposite. The other girls were all grown up, while I still look like a ten years old.

— Well, you sure are tiny, even compared to my classmates.

— Yeah, yeah. Now that I think about it, you look a lot like one of mine. Blue eyes, a different hairstyle and nose shape, a slimmer waist, but otherwise she was a dead ringer for you.

— Even her breast size?

— Indeed. She was curvy and gorgeous, and all the boys were crazy for her, but she only had eyes for one boy… who just wasn't ready for a relationship. And it made me cringe that she didn't seem to feel pretty enough, that she wore more make-up than was necessary, plus her dangerously short, tight-fit school pinafore dress… she looked ridiculous.

— Oh, I have some classmates who are like that. Not me, though; I already get way too much attention without doing anything with my looks.

— Well, you seem more like the forbidden snack type, which ironically is more attractive for some men than the overly sexy type.

— … Ach-y-fi.

— … Excuse me? I'm not a native English speaker, and that's a word I haven't heard before.

— Oh, that's a local expression of disgust. Like, it seems like I can't avoid the male gaze.

— That's their problem, Miss Evans, not yours. Don't make it your problem. I've got nothing here, yet men still stare.

— Well, your body type is even more unusual…

— I know. But you have to excuse me, this is getting way off-topic. I don't usually talk to my patients about my own childhood, and I'm talking to you like we knew each other from long ago.

— Well, I don't mind. Yours seems to have been an interesting childhood.

— Indeed, but that's not why you're here. So let me get through this. Most of the issues that you describe are not necessarily associated with puberty, and no sign of pain or discomfort is worth getting glossed over. First of all, please stand on the scale to get your height and weight measured.

I do. To no surprise, I'm overweight. She also checked my heart rate and blood pressure.

— Now, tell me. Tea, coffee, carbonated drinks. How much do you drink each day?

— Not much, actually. I drink a couple cups of tea each day. Unlike the rest of my family, who just can't get enough of it. And they drink green tea, which tastes horrible to me.

— Hmm. What about chocolate?

She stopped talking when she noticed the sheer expression of horror in my face.

— What? Did I hit a nerve, Miss Evans? Please tell me how much do you eat everyday. Answer truthfully.

I started crying uncontrollably. She patiently bears with me through this.

— … Doctor. I have a lot of admirers. Every day I get several boxes of chocolate in the mail. And I can't control myself.

— Well, chocolates have a high calorie count due to their sugar and fat content. And the symptoms you've been experiences are consistent with an excessive chocolate intake.

— And now you're telling me that I have to eat less chocolates. As if my life wasn't horrible enough.

— Well, at least you don't have acne… yet.

— ACNE!? Oh my God! I need to stop eating chocolates right now!

— Well, acne is more of an issue with eating lots of carbohydrates and dairy products, and there's no consensus about the link between acne and chocolate consumption. But I still advise you to reduce the amount of chocolate you eat everyday.

— I understand.

— To prevent acne, you should eat more fruits, vegetables and fish. Drinking green tea is also good against acne, and it has many more health benefits. It contains caffeine, so it too must be consumed in moderation.

— Green tea. As I said, I don't like it.

— Add lemon juice and stevia to it. There are many types of green tea, you just have to find which one is better tasting for you. And brewing it correctly is quite important in order to get it just right, not too bitter or watery.

— Well, thank you.

— I'll prescribe you some medication in order to treat the symptoms you've mentioned. But you should follow my instructions in order to attack their root cause. Stop eating so many chocolates, and come back in a month or so, in order to check your progress. I most likely won't be around, as I travel a lot and I'm currently on a temporary contract, but Dr. Spencer is an experienced paediatrician who will be able to take your case.

— I'll do. Oh, and I have a last question. Do you think I should get a breast reduction? And how do I get it on the NHS?

— Well, first of all, I don't think it's advisable to get one while you're still developing, except in extreme cases of breast hypertrophy. Second, you should get down to a stable weight, and get an assessment with a psychiatrist or psychologist. Third, as there are many women seeking to get breast reduction surgery on the NHS, the waiting list can be up to several years, and a lot of women are being turned down as not meeting their criteria. Also, private treatment is quite expensive. And… would you like me to measure you?

— Yeah, sure.

Her procedure for measuring my breast size is a bit more complicated than what I knew. She then puts the measurements on a spreadsheet, which gets her a bunch of numbers.

— Wearing a good-fitting bra can alleviate many of the issues associated with large breasts. Also, I'm recommending you some exercises that can strengthen your core muscles, and some tips to improve your posture. But I wouldn't advise a breast reduction surgery on someone like you, as its risks and consequences certainly outweigh the possible benefits. They're not that big, actually; you just have a delicate body frame. Your ideal weight is lower than that of other girls of your age and height.

— I understand.

I need to make a lot of sacrifices in order to stop feeling like this. Mum is going to stare me down and tell me: “ I told you, Pam ”. And then I'm asking her what we should do with so all those chocolates.