#also bc its time to practice grayscale and what better way to grayscale than to practice muscles

[kruinka]

now that the blade fiasco is almost over im trying to rediscover how to draw kaiser

[jewelphan]

Caught Up in a Dream - Ch. 7

Summary:  Dan is Phil’s best friend, and he has been for the better half of the year. The only problem is that Dan doesn’t exist, not really. Dan is just a person who appears in Phil’s dreams; someone who’s made up. At least, that’s what Phil believes.

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: mentions of death 

Previous Chapter

It had been days since Dan disappeared and Phil was going insane. The last time Phil had been this stressed was when Dan showed up in the first place. But that had been a year ago and within that time he managed to get a best friend out of Dan--one that was now gone. And it wasn’t just the Dan in his dreams, it was the real one too; they were both gone. When he first found out that Dan was truly missing, he went through a rollercoaster of emotions. First worry, then anger, some sadness, a bit of guilt, and even a hint of excitement before he finally settled on anxiety and stress.

At first, he thought it was just one big nightmare, but then he remembered he couldn’t really get nightmares. Then he figured he shouldn’t worry about it too much and that Dan would show back up in a few days, but it had been a few days. A few too many. Dan had never once disappeared from his dreams until, well until now. Granted, Dan had never shown up outside of his dreams either, so past rules and experiences didn’t really apply anymore.

Phil was still very suspicious of both Dan’s and the likelihood of them being the same person. And honestly, now that they have disappeared, he was even more suspicious. He had almost no doubt that they were both Dan, though he still didn't have any solid proof. Phil wasn't sure if he wanted them to be the same person or not, on one hand it would make things easier and clearer, but on the other it would make things more complicated. It was a very conflicted situation. And what if they were the same person? What would that mean? Would that mean Dan really exists or that he never existed at all? It was confusing and complex, Phil didn't really want to think about it anymore.

What he did want to think about, however, was where the fuck Dan had gone. Phil had waited about long enough and it wouldn't be much longer until he went insane. But now he just needed a plan to start looking for him, so why not start in the place that seemed most logical to look: at school.

-

The night had gone slowly and Phil got very little sleep, not that anything (or rather anyone) was in his dreams. But when the morning did finally come, he practically rejoiced and he was out the door by six--even though he didn't normally leave until nearly an hour later. But despite the extremely early start, he felt like it was much later than any other morning.

When Phil arrived at school he immediately headed to the principal’s office. He needed to see if the principal knew where Dan had been - whether he be sick or on vacation or just disappeared - Phil figured that through the school’s system would be the best way to find Dan.

Phil walked up to the too fancy stained glass door that lead into the office and gave it a firm knock. When no one answered, he knocked again. Still nothing. So Phil tried the doorknob and was surprised to see that it was unlocked. He peeked inside the room and took quick note of its emptiness.

Phil bit his lip and wondered if he should just go in and find Dan’s file himself. After a few moments and not-so-careful consideration, he figured that he'd waited long enough and didn't have time for the principal to show up. Besides, it wasn't like he was snooping around for test answers or something, he was just on a simple mission to find out where his friend had been, nothing more.

Phil took a deep breath and wandered into the room. He looked around for a moment and figured his best bet would be the laptop sitting atop the sleek wooden desk. He walked over to the desk (he felt like he was walking on eggshells, despite him believing that he wasn't doing anything wrong) and opened the laptop. The screen turned on and Phil clicked a few times to get to the desktop and was surprised that it wasn't password protected. An unlocked door, no password, the principal was practically inviting people to break into her office.

Phil's eyes wandered over the several folders on the desktop before they reached one labeled “Students”. He clicked on it and a very large list of folders with student’s names on each appeared. Thank god for the invention of search engines.

Phil quickly searched “Daniel Howell” and was confused when nothing appeared. He switched “Daniel” with “Dan”, but still nothing happened. He supposed Dan was still a fairly new student, but he thought they would've had him in the school’s system by now.

“What on earth are you doing?”

Phil nearly jumped a mile in the air when he heard the voice of his principal.

“I can explain, Ma’am, I promise,” Phil said immediately without thinking.

“Then please do,” she said bewildered.

Phil had absolutely no explanation. “Well,” he started, but didn't have anything to finish it with.

The principal waited for about a full minute before speaking up. “Philip, dear, you're one of my better students and you are the last person I would ever think to find snooping around here. And with that being said, I'm sure you have an excellent reason to be in my office at such ridiculous hours in the morning without my permission. If you would like to explain those reasons, I'd be happy to hear them-possibly even to help. And if I find it a suitable enough reason I will refrain from calling your mother and giving you a possible suspension. So, may I ask, what are you doing in my office?”

Phil didn't think he had ever heard her talk so much without breaking, but she was a fairly nice lady so he supposed telling her the truth wouldn't hurt him. “Well, I was looking for information on a student - a friend - he's been absent for the last few days and I wanted to know why. I know I should've waited for you to show up but it was eating away at me. I apologize,” Phil said, sweetening his voice to make him seem as innocent as possible.

She sighed. “And what is this friend’s name?”

“Dan,” Phil answered quickly. “Dan Howell.”

The principal let out a tired huff. “Phil, there's never been a Dan Howell at this school.”

What?

-

The moment Phil got home he practically ran to his laptop. School had been a flop - sort of, maybe, he wasn't sure - and it's not like Dan would magically appear back in his dreams (or at school), so his last option was the internet. It was a long-shot, but he didn't have anything else to go on.

He flipped open his laptop and quickly typed in the password before opening his browser. He typed “Daniel Howell” into the search bar. He debated on the search for a moment before adding “London” after it, he figured there was a lot of Dan Howell’s in the world, but how many were there in London? Once everything was typed out, Phil paused. His finger hovered over the enter button while the cursor blinked obnoxiously at him. What if he did find something? What if Dan was more than just some made-up guy? What then? Phil sighed and closed his eyes tight before pressing enter. He was about to find out.

At first, nothing but some Facebook and Twitter profiles showed up, it wasn't particularly interesting, nor what he was looking for. But then he kept scrolling, and scrolling, and scrolling before he found this article about a boy. Phil didn't think much about it at first, but then he clicked on the link. A picture showed up, it was fuzzy and grayscale, but what was in the image was clear enough: it was Dan.

Phil's heart skipped a beat as he scrolled down to the article. He read over it quickly and he almost couldn't breathe. “Dan Howell, 20, drowned in a lake on Saturday.” So Phil’s best friend was some dead guy. That was fine. 

Everything was fine.

But it wasn't, Phil could barely keep it together. And then he read what the year was, and his breath hitched, it had happened nearly 25 years ago.

Phil couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't comprehend what the hell was going on. The only thing that was going through his mind was: ask the culprit.

He didn't care that Dan had been on strike, he was going to find him. He didn't care what lengths he had to go through to do it.

With a newfound purpose for finding Dan, he decided that the best place to look was where he first met him. In his mind, or rather, in his dreams. So Phil slept, and surprisingly, it wasn't as hard as he thought it would be.

-

The clouds floated around him and the stars twinkled brighter than he remembered. The atmosphere was somehow different, but Phil didn't care at the moment, all he cared about was getting Dan's attention. He was starting to think that Dan left because he wanted to, not because he was forced.

So Phil yelled and screamed and tried his best to get Dan’s attention. And oddly enough, it worked.

“So you figured it out, huh?” Phil whirled around and found Dan standing behind him. His eyes were somehow sad and dimmer than normal, so was his voice.

“Yeah, I did,” Phil said bitterly, but his tone (much like Dan's), was somehow sad.

a/n: I’m so sorry for taking nearly two months to update this (especially after a cliffhanger) but now I’m leaving you with another cliffhanger cause I can :) 

(also I’m tagging @i--am-a-mushroom bc I promised them I would when the next chapter came out)