#also clicks is dramatique as he would say

[manofthepipis]

NEXT CHAPTER IS GONNA BE SPAMTON AND CLICKS CENTRIC?!? AUGHHHHH THIS IS MY MOMENT!! IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE TURN THAT SHIT UPP 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥

Been waiting for these two complicated emotional messes to have a one on one… definitely looking forward omfg…

(but for real, take your time!)

AAAAAA HI!! YES!! :D IT SHALL BE!

but fr like im excited to start delving into addison territory with this one, building to a final thing, but also to just play with these guys like dolls in my writing, make em interact

these two are the pair that do not get along and already, just beginning the chapter, they're being assholes to each other <3 but behind all that assholeriness there's The Issues and someone's gotta break eventually :')

still i wanted something like this to happen this chapter (unlikely but i still thought it would be funny)

its a trick he learned from his antics with swatch back in the day invading the mansion :)

tho its always ended up the same way. can't for the life of me explain why

[mego42]

Shamelessly stealing @foxmagpie​’s monthly rec thing without the ability to get my life together to do these on a monthly basis so, seasonal recs! So excited to see if I manage to do this again with anything remotely resembling consistency but i’ve been keeping the notes for approximately 43 years (or since ~september, whatever that means) so by god i’m gonna use them. 

found my thrill - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

Turner POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys turner is SO OBSESSED with Beth and Rio

both canonically and in this fic

it’s gr9

also features a weirdly soothing and relatable cord untangling moment as a metaphor

truly disturbingly relatable turner pov tbh

relentless boomer disdain, always a plus

led to the creation of this monstrosity, not sure what kind of a monster would do that

War In My Mind - mintletters16

Backread!!!!

post-213, gorgeous character study 

guaranteed to make you feEl stUfF

I really love the like, cyclical, fractured pattern of Beth’s internal monologue, it gives the whole thing a really affecting at times dreamy, at times haunted vibe

the end twist is *chef’s kiss*

mourning bells - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Later s2 era, Rio’s at a funeral, gets drunk and calls Beth

V short, kind of…..mmm, not sweet, but almost? Idk

It’s got a wistful sort of almost/i can be quiet with you vibe that i go extremely bonkers for

delinquents - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Lol are any of you actually not reading this yet?

g o d ch 8 where do i start

First off how ABSOLUTELY VERY DARE for the tragic angst that is delinquents!beth boland. This poor baby, this precious bean. MUST PROTEC

SHE’S TRYING HER BEST AND I LOVE HER

zero percent deserves dean’s clammy hands, no i have not forgotten, tattooed on my brain, will never forgive

I also love love love love LOVE the ruby/stan subplot happening

(and ruby’s mom!!!!!) (seriously though you write the best moms)

oh god and baby beth starting to have confusing feelings about rio?????? *chef’s kiss*

p sure i was just like, straight screaming the entire end of the chapter

the dugout is like, pure serotonin

I can’t even talk about the closet

tHe teNsiOn

thank you i will take eleventy billion

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul - medievalraven / @medievalraven

am a desperate heaux for any fic that features rio and mick friendship

you are all incredibly shocked i know

still would not be mad if this swerved into rio x mick fake dating but beth x rio is cool too i guess

Speaking of things i am a desperate heaux for: DIANE!!!!!!!!

and DATING ANNIE???????????? Blessed

honestly this fic is worth it purely for the assertion that mick watches queer eye

Why don't we go to Venus? - watermelonriddles / @bensonstablers​

another grief study! 

apparently i was working through some stuff in september, idk, that was like 4 years ago

considering it’s the premise of the fic, i don’t think it’s a spoiler to say this fic is canon divergent and working with the premise that rio killed beth in 302

he is uh, not coping well

extremely haunted you might say

lots of marcus and rhea which is a delight!

rhea is to good for him tbh

i said what i said

truly top notch dream (nightmare?) sequences

the conversation at the end is extremely uncalled for

drop the game - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Am going to die mad Beth and Rio didn’t hook up in 211 but luckily this fic scratched the itch 

(temporarily, it’s a fairly permanent itch)

Bonus rec: missing scene series i wanna do bad things to you featuring 2x02 and 2x04

Viva Voce - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

Whoops we woke up married Vegas shenanigans!! 

So cute!!!!! So sexy!!!!! 

What more do you want?

am desperately obsessed with how beth can’t help stalking rio

feels right, feels organic

this makes me feel a lot of stuff about how they could be without their canon garbage between them

🎶 we could’ve had it aaaaaaaaaaall 🎶

you showed me colors (i can't see them with anyone else) - gild_fire / @gild-and-fire​

really into the use of color to illustrate beth’s emotional state, i feel like there’s a word for that but idk what it is

UNIMPORTANT

really nice job capturing beth’s inner vulnerability balanced by her outer stubbornness

am DESPERATELY into Mick playing matchmaker

more please???????

Both Sides of the Law - JoeyLee / @joeyjoeylee​

LAW SCHOOL AU! I suuuuuuper love Beth and Rio here (alt pov!! a gift!!!!) I love how initially prickly they are, I love how it’s evolving into a grudging respect, I love how INCREDIBLY AND HILARIOUSLY OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER THEY ARE and neither one of them seems to see it

listen I know we’re all already foaming at the mouth over this one but as it’s gonna go down as one of my all time favorites it bears repeating/rereccing

cannot stress enough how masterful the use of POV is here, both voices feel completely true and distinct and I love how the alternating chapters revisit, reveal and emphasize pieces of each other

i can’t talk about this fic without hyperventilating

I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS

the slow burn is going to ACTUALLY KILL ME

rip, no regrats

Earned It - wakeupflawless / @wakeupflawless​

spanking

that’s it that’s the pitch

H O T

living for beth’s exit in the first chapter, rio and i are both incredibly into it

second chapter also features violently possessive Rio who cannot deal with anyone messing with his girl so if that’s your thing boy howdy get on it

shake, baby, shake - openhearts

backread!!!!!

according to my bookmarks this was a reread but ???????

must’ve read it in the fugue state that followed reading for a moment we were strangers which is gr9 and I believe I have recced it before. If not, horrible oversight, reccing it now

beth and Rio POV lead up to the bathroom break, beautifully done, low-key feel bad reccing it bc the end point of both chapters makes me want to throw things but it’s super worth it for the tEnsiOn. ENJOY

What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have - flashindie / @pynkhues​

I’m assuming all of y’all are already reading this

If not OH MY GOD FIX YOUR LIVES

P I R A T E  A U

I’m sorry maybe you didn’t hear me piRaTE aU

meticulously researched, brain-meltingly vibrant, already painfully sexy slow-burning PIRATE AU

god where to start okay so first off, the world-building here straight up breaks my brain, sophie’s put in the work and it SHOWS

second, the atmosphere. i’m generally a pretty like, vague mental picture sort of reader but the sensory detail here grabs you by the throat and like, forcibly hauls you in whether your brain’s wired that way or no

and hey speaking of throats if you, like me, go a little funny about the knees at the idea of beth holding a knife to rio’s throat (he’s fine, calm down), there’s a v excellent beth-in-a-barrel moment for you

oh christ and the sexy tension

it’s gonna be a race to see which slow burn takes me out first, this or law school

Stunner - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Another high school AU, this time with baby Rio absolutely head over heels for his older sister’s bff

stunner!Rio has an emotional earnestness about him that I feel like delinquents!Rio has already outgrown and it’s so SWEET I can’t get enough

Desperately cute!!!!!!

alL he waNts iS foR beTh tO bE hiS girL

also unreasonably angsty???????

ANN ARBOR IS NOT THAT FAR MEGAN

A Heart's A Heavy Burden - tooshyforthis / @bathroombreaks​

Howl’s Moving Castle AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Howl’s!!!!!!!!!!!

perfect opp to roast Rio for being a Dramatique Heaux 

and it’s gonna be 9 chapters?????? H Y P E

author’s note boldly presumes I did not know I needed this AU when the reality is I did in fact know I needed this AU, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to deliver

so blessed

author also claims to not be team nose stud and yet it features prominently in all its magnificent glory

what is the truth dot gif

A Bit of a Stretch - septiembre / @septiembur​

SO????? CUTE?????????

would be on this list for Rio calling Beth E alone tbh

really really really really really love this Rio POV of being settled into a relationship with Beth

It manages to be sweetly domestic af while still holding the edge that makes brio brio which is a neat trick

@septiembur may be a witch

beth’s approach to getting rio to do yoga with her is hilarious and exactly right, canon-typical amounts of subtlety 

1000000/10

Post Break-Up Sex - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

stg this was called Hit Shuffle

no matter

h O T

with a side of damn i’ve made some questionable choices in my life haven’t i introspection

(no regrats tho)

(esp not with this fic)

not the point of the fic by a long shot but i’m also extremely obsessed with Weed Eddie, so real

She drains my soul... she drains it not - niham87 / @niham87​

ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT

am a complete sucker for paranormal world building that satirizes bureaucracy 

Is that a trope? If so that’s my favorite

I did it. I’m picking a single favorite. You know what that is growth dot gif

ANYWAY i love the concept, i love the humor, i love beth instantly clicking with annie

I love her and mick’s sort of grudging professional courtesy

Love beth as a champion of environmental responsibility and all of the underworld being like …...okay??

cannot wait to see where this goes

Nine-Tenths - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

sometimes i think about rio putting beth’s hair in a ponytail and have to go lie down

science please explain why this rUinS mE

wait hold on i skipped ahead

HEY KIDS DO YOU LIKE UNBEARABLY CUTE DOMESTIC TENDERNESS

opens with rio sleepily holding beth’s hand to his heart so that’s the kind of thing you’ll be dealing with

uGH theY’RE sO CUTe

idk why precisely but rio adding hair ties to his bracelet collection is my undoing every time

Missed Call - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Rio doesn’t come home from a job when he’s supposed to. Beth (and I!!!!!!!) slowly loses her mind

Truly a masterpiece of rising tension

Will literally never forgive her for calling this light angst

I was SO STRESSED OUT

The first person to point out there was an author’s note at the beginning I obvs didn’t read is getting blocked

crush - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Listen even though this is centered around two OCs, they are OCs FROM a (n iconic) brio fic AND Beth, Ruby and Rio all make cameos (I mean, Rio’s pretty present since he lives in Mar’s mind rent free bc they are THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE BEST OF FRIENDS so idk if i’d call it a cameo but whatever)

and even if it didn’t feature any official GG characters I’d still rec is bc that’s mY SON AND this fic is TOO CUTE

I have so many feelings over mar and rio growing up and not knowing how to cope with girls becoming a Thing in their life and how it affects their friendship and mar feeling left behind but (SPOILERS) at the end of the story rio starts feeling that too and it’s so poignant knowing how that’s going to continue in delinquents

while mar may be my son, i also claim elena’s #1 stan status

before you’re like meg you’re only reccing it bc it’s a bday present ask yourselves do i really strike you as the kind of person that wouldn’t be equally obnoxious about this either way?

truly cannot fathom how hard i have fallen for these OCs i don’t normally do that

@foxmagpie is definitely a witch

The Ottoman - Niham87 / @niham87​

look i will be the first to admit that i don’t go near as bonkers over the ottoman line in 308 as y’all do

(don’t get me wrong, i love it!!! I love that he laughs and i love that she’s pleased it just doesn’t hit my lose my whole mind button like idk, the dubby or the 306 convo, idk why)

BUT i v v v much love the context this delightful Rio POV pwp gives it

am also absolutely feral for 209 missing scene fic

and anything that captures the complexity of Rio’s s3 feelings for Beth and how twisted they’ve become

so this scratches a bunch of itches, is what i’m trying to say

Bet On It - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

That’s what my brain does when I think about Beth and Rio meeting in ch 1

am DESPERATELY OBSESSED WITH the tension between the two of them in this fic

I love how it plays with the ways they have to rely on but don’t trust each other

plus FAKE DATING and BED SHARING (fair warning hasn’t happened yet but the set up is there)

originally supposed to be 2 chapters, already up to 4, prayer circle it goes on forever

do you like drugs (tonight) - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

v important focus on hydration, other fic should take note

extremely about the use of cut to and then flashback to enhance the ‘we were on drugs’ vibe

speaking of, beth and rio absolutely would take ecstasy to prove they are fun bc they are the exact kind of idiots that would peer pressure themselves

so glad beth kept her purse, got a bit stressed there for a second, clutches in that kind of circumstance are A Risk

not that i would know

FLAWLESS USE OF VOICEMAIL TBH

really love the ongoing denial that they are remotely into each other while proceeding to demonstrate how they are in fact, extremely into each other, great vibe

rio dances

I know my brain broke too

mmmm bacon

Navigate A Broken Path - flashindie / @pynkhues​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

I have a long standing tradition of getting unreasonably obsessed with side characters so i’m not like, entirely surprised by how obsessed i am with both Mick and Mary Pat but i never in a million years considered them as a ship

AND Y E T

they fit????? so perfectly?????? It’s amazing how she developes them individually enough that i look at them together and think ah yes this makes perfect sense for both characters

and they’re such an amazing foil to Beth and Rio? 

can ships have foils? do i know what a foil is? 

unimportant

GUYS you dON’T uNDERStAN d 

hell i don’t understand

how absolutely very dare you make me care about YET ANOTHER set of gg ‘verse children

do not read this fic if you have no interest in feelings you zero percent asked for

wHA t hAPPeNED iN aLASkA?????????

A Moment’s Silence - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

*makes sign of the cross*

y’all are gonna make me rediscover religion

extremely appreciate the author’s note approach to backstory top notch prioritization

listen it’s basically 3k of beth deep throating rio idk what more you need me to say about it

it is…..good stuff

bless the kinkmeme or fest whatever we’re calling it

praise - civillove / @blainesebastian​

I mean you had me at “three times rio calls beth a good girl and one time he really means it”

ephemeral rio

I left that note for myself in here in the middle of the night and haven’t the foggiest what i was thinking but i stand by it none the less

okay okay i think i know what i meant, this fic (as do all of my fav civillove brio fics) has this sort of like, liminal, in the quiet moments feel to them that makes the moments and feelings somehow feel like i’m catching a glimpse of something secret and precious???

idk i just really like it okay

Heart and Soul - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

oh look more unbearably sweet domestic tenderness, this time to music

thank you ma’am for my life

rio remembers beth used to play piano and gets her one and revoltingly cute shenanigans result

also hilarity

and sexiness

this fic has it all, truly

shout out to mick who sees no reason to keep rio’s feelings to himself

good girls tumblr fic - prettylittlementirosa / @hypermania​​

cheating and reccing a whole series

It’s my list and i can do what i wanna

stop crying about it, it’s four fics and they’re all AMAZING absolutely impossible to pick a fav

truly flawless characterization, next level ability to capture evocative mood, cannot get enough

three’s a crowd: who knew ballroom dancing while dean watches and grinds his teeth could be so sexy 

(trick question everything about that premise sounds A++++ and boy howdy does it live up)

feel it on the way home: rio tries to break up with beth, it goes about as well as you’d expect

(thE angSty tenSioN)

i want to play the game: [from the floor] i’m still not ready to talk about it

(rio/turner, missing scene, 10000000% a taste of what went down in that hotel room)

june after dark: pitch perfect annie pov, really really love the take that Annie is the baby whisperer, can’t fully explain why but it feels incredibly right

(ANNIE X NANCY COULD WORK SO WELL YOU GUYS)

[kinetic-elaboration]

August 21: 3x04 And the Children Shall Lead

Okay, I’m finally going to write up my thoughts on And the Children Shall Lead. I think I’m (mostly) over all of my excessively-strong emotions about this ep lol. Maybe going through my notes will bring them back. Or maybe not. I’ve felt very tired and uninterested in everything today so it’s hard to tell. So far the process is not going well: tumblr ate my first attempt at a post, like literally I wrote a few lines, clicked to a new tab, and when I clicked back the post was empty so thanks for that, and I keep on just generally not being interested in the task. So, we’ll see.

The tl;dr is that I don’t see why this ep is considered one of the worst. I actually really liked it!

Single-color jumpsuits: the fashion of the future.

Another old Kirk friend! (This isn’t even important lol; it never comes up again or matters that Kirk knew this guy, but we must always be reminded that he is the best networker in Starfleet.)

“He’s dead, Captain.” Not “he’s dead, Jim”?? Sounds wrong.

“The enemy within.” I thought that was a S1 ep?

Ah, another bunch of creepy kids. In pajamas this time, apparently.

Kirk is not having fun being the center of their creepy little rhyme.

RIP to McCoy but my diagnosis is “alien shenanigans.”

“I’m sorry, Captain Kirk.” Such a polite little alien.

McCoy corralling the kids

This sounds a lot like Miri, except purposeful—something targeted all the adults but left the kids, just like the virus in Miri affected all the adults, but not the kids.

…A disturbance in the cave!

Lol at Kirk’s anxiety face. I feel you, man.

Spock’s never experienced anxiety? My first thought is ‘sounds fake’ but actually… maybe he really hasn’t.

“There has to be an explanation.” This is the MOST Jim line.

I like these kids. They’re actually pretty cute. Also love Kirk trying to relate to the kids.

Where are they? Is this Sulu’s greenhouse lol? I love it. They should have used this set more.

“That place is for adults.” Gotta say, I wrote this down but now have no recollection what it actually refers to. The bridge? I think it’s the bridge.

Are they performing witchcraft? Intriguing.

“Friendly angel”—nothing creepy about that at all.

Got a little alien cult going on here. Every time I feel anxiety from now on I’m going to assume it’s an alien cultist nearby.

“We’ll pursue this in my quarters.” Wink wink.

Can’t fool Uhura.

Never mind. Yes you can.

For someone who wanted the kids guarded all the time, Kirk sure was ok with them just traipsing around the bridge. I mean the guards are at the door but like…they’re only at the door.

Never really thought about how there’s apparently an…engineering component... to flying the ship? I don’t know, I don’t really get it but it’s cool.

"Evil does seek to maintain power by suppressing the truth." Damn. Great line.

BAND OF MARAUDES. That’s a cool backstory for the dead alien society. Basically, they’re ghosts. Greedy ghosts. Alien ghost pirates.

Great triumvirate scene. McCoy want to protect the kids and Kirk’s like “…but the ship, though?” Which is fair!!

What does the ghost want? Um, a ship to maraud in, were you not listening to Spock’s exposition of the back story?

No don’t beam anyone down!!

Love any time Spock pushes someone else out of the way so he can man the transporter. He’s somehow the second-best expert on it on the entire ship.

Eeek, low-key gruesome death there. Look, I know that this is one of the scenes that haters love to point out as a reason to despise the episode but I personally don’t think deeply enough into the transporter situation to wonder how much information they have or assume before they beam people anywhere. Also…weird alien stuff is happening, guys. Just attribute it to that. Also also, if you’re gonna nitpick like that, be prepared to hate all of TOS.

THE KIDS STOLE THE CAR.

“Sulu, what did you to do my ship?”

Uhura’s watching this little witchcraft scene from the background like ‘aw, so cute.’

“Call upon their beasts.” Metal.

“Go to your stations.” This little kid is a future Captain in the making.

SPACE KNIVES

Kirk's like "Oh no, my crew is deserting me, I'm gonna have to fly the whole ship by myself AGAIN.”

“Captain, why are we bothering Starfleet?” Et tu, Spock?s

How did they get to Spock? He doesn’t seem scared of anything…more like he’s under the influence of a general hallucination, like the others seeing the planet on the screen even after they left orbit.

I remember this part, with Kirk freaking out. Spock doesn’t like it one bit.

He’s just being a littttle Dramatique.

Cannot believe that all Spock has to do is say “Jim” in a quiet, intimate voice and Kirk is immediately okay. Just let it out of his system, grabbed onto his friend, heard his own name, and the beast is defeated.

“My Vulcan friend”? Lol.

Kirk’s face when he realizes they’ve got Scotty too…

“Go away or we’ll kill you.” That was legitimately creepy. Scotty gone rogue.

Aw, Spock was worried about him again.

“Without followers, evil cannot spread.”

“Where did you hear this order, Chekov?” / “The voices in my head.”

It’s interesting that Kirk and Spock can’t be manipulated—perhaps because they have each other?

Enough of this—fight time!

That guard sounded like he really liked that nerve pinch; he was kinda moaning as he went down.

“Spock, corral them to their rooms.”

Outta the chair, brat.

Is Kirk going to defeat the alien evil using logic?

Summoning the “angel” by using the old recording is very clever.

When did they decide to start calling him the Gorgon?

“It lost its power in the light of reality” = “I looked into Spock’s eyes and knew myself again.”

HE IS GENTLE. It’s true and you should say it.

And he doesn’t even dispute it. “AND we are ALSO very strong.”

"You are full of goodness. Such as you cannot be changed."

So the girl is Jankowski.

This is very Candyman. The alien needs their belief to live. When they cease to follow him, he literally disappears.

Honestly, this whole alien scheme starts to look equal parts silly and sad, trying to call the crying children "generals.” They’re babies!

McCoy loves to see children in tears lol.

Kirk just hands them all off to McCoy, like ‘well, my work here is done.’

Okay, now we reverse course to pick up those stranded security guards still on the planet, right? Right? No? Okay, guess not.

Uhura, immediately ready with the paperwork lol. Now IS the time.

The end!

Now to try to interpret all of my other, more general notes.

The way I interpreted Spock being able to defy the mind control was that he was affected by Kirk. Because he clearly was affected, but then when he saw Kirk starting to freak out, he looked concerned, and then got them both off the bridge—he had a breakthrough of clarity long enough to understand he needed to get off the bridge. Then he’d be away from the kids, and they wouldn’t have as much control, and he could snap Jim out of it, too.

Like I’m sure his Vulcan resilience could easily have been part of it, too, but that resilience wasn’t enough to keep him from being affected at all—and of course they could have easily written it that way—and it seems obvious that his moment of clarity was caused specifically by watching Kirk starting to lose it. There are so many shots of him specifically watching Kirk and the guard.

The K/S vibes were so strong. Spock was so protective, then they get in the lift and Kirk basically clings to him. All he has to do is say Kirk’s name and Kirk is fine, which is basically the power of true love. And then even outside of that scene… for the whole rest of the ep, they’re a duo. It’s not just Kirk against the Evil of the Week, it’s Kirk and Spock, working together at every turn. Neither of them could have done it alone.

it's a pretty classic trope, in fact, especially in s1, to have Kirk all alone, abandoned by all...where he's the last man standing, the one who has to run the whole ship and save the whole day. Naked Time, This Side of Paradise, and Trouble with Tribbles (kinda) all come to mind. But this time he has Spock! You see the progression of their relationship in that.

I really enjoyed this episode in general. Lots of classic tropes: creepy children; surprise alien; old alien society not as dead as we thought; Kirk has to run the whole ship by himself (with Spock); heroic!Kirk saving the day… It has it all. It’s clearly revisiting some older themes and ideas, but in a sufficiently unique way that it doesn’t just seem like a rehash of an older plot. In some ways, it felt like a Classic S1 episode to me. It has some Miri elements, some Charlie X elements, some Naked Time elements…

I literally don’t understand why it’s so disliked.

Skimmed the wiki and the only specific criticism in there is that Kirk shows an “unmistakable hostility to the children.” Well first of all, he doesn’t. He might not have the best manner with them, but why should he? He’s certainly not mean or cruel to them. He recognizes they’re a danger to his ship, and to the whole planet of Marcos-12, which by the way is objectively true, but that’s not being hostile. McCoy is the one who represents ‘exclusive care for the children’s welfare’ in this ep, but he CAN do that, because he’s not the Captain. He represents that perspective, he gives his opinion, which is both his job on the ship and his role on the show, and then Kirk takes that into account while doing HIS job, which is running the ship. McCoy would have literally let the kids take over their ship and conquer the galaxy as part of their grieving process lol. Kirk was right and I should say it. (Also btw he understands that killing the kids might be an option—but he obviously doesn’t actually do it.)

I actually think this ep is a great example of the triumvirate functioning--McCoy reminds Kirk that the children are just traumatized children, and Spock reminds him that he's responsible for 400+ people on the ship, and Kirk makes the decisions that vanquish the evil, save the ship, and free the kids.

And look, even if you don’t like this episode, you’d have to argue very hard to convince me it’s the WORST, as in worse than Spock’s Brain, worse than The Alternative Factor, worse than Assignment Earth (not even a real TOS ep!), worse than The Omega Glory.

Some stuff I actively liked: the concept of the alien taking over the children specifically (both creepy and…kinda makes sense? That they’d be vulnerable); the message that the followers of demagogues can be both truly dangerous and objects of sympathy; the backstory of the evil empire of pirate aliens—and how greed doesn’t die; the witchcraft aesthetic, ESPECIALLY when paired with the kid antagonists, since kids are so into that like chanting, incantations, rituals thing; that the ep used every single main character (when was the last time a TOS ep did that?). Also I thought the kid actors did a good job!

The theme about the authoritarian and the cult followers was actually quite resonant, I thought; inevitably made me think of Tr/ump and his Tr/umpies. Just like in this episode, you must have some kind of… if not sympathy, at least willingness to do the hard work of deprograming and then bringing them back to the fold, or else the country is never going to heal and it’s never going to be able to go forward in a positive way. It might not go forward at all! But fuck it’s hard to have that sympathy; they’re so abhorrent. Here, you see the terrible things the kids do, and yet sympathy isn’t so hard, because they’re kids. You see how much they are victims/pawns also. And so in that sense, Kirk’s ability to deprogram them is comfortingly optimistic—a little bittersweet, as TOS often is, because the kids have done horrible things and seen horrible things and now they’ll have to live with it, but comforting nonetheless.

I can’t even think of that many things I didn’t like in the ep. Mostly just nitpicky things. Like, was McCoy a little inconsistent in what he thought should be done with the kids? Yeah, but we get the general idea. Did Kirk drop the ball when he let them hang out on the bridge? Yes, especially as he knew how dangerous they were at that point, but I actually don’t mind it so much because they’re kids—it’s understandable that their true dangerousness didn’t fully compute to him. I don’t see that as a mistake or sloppy writing tbh. And was it an amateur hour mistake to beam two people into space? Yes, but it made up for it in being creepy and upping the stakes of the ep.

I guess I could see how the fist gesture could be seen as a little silly. But the other option, having them speak rhymes each time, would have been distracting—and probably also looked silly! Also, as my mom pointed out, it looks like a kid’s game (sorta like the start of rock paper scissors) so it fits appropriately with the theme.

I really liked how they wove in the aesthetic of kids’ games, kids’ manners of playing, into the narrative. Kids can be really creepy! They like creepy things! So the ring around the rosy rhyme at the beginning—a quite disturbing chant, of course, about the Plague, that is also very commonly sung by actual kids—foreshadows the summoning chant that brings the alien to them. It’s all of a piece. And just like the rhyme is just a rhyme, and they don’t know the real meaning behind it, they probably also don’t fully understand the meaning of the summoning chant or the alien that comes with it. It’s all one big game to them.

It’s interesting that the alien seemed to play off their desire both to punish their parents for working too much ("they like the planet, they're always busy") and to have freedom from parental rules (how they react to any instructions from adults, the alien's promise that the whole universe will be their playground, etc.). He really picks their sore spots as kids specifically and turns them into his “generals” accordingly. Like all kids, they don’t think too much about the larger consequences of their game because in some ways, it really is all just a game to them.

I liked how the episode characterized Kirk’s ability to interact with kids. He’s not bad with them at all, but he’s not like McCoy or Chapel either. He “wants to communicate with the future adult in the kid,” as my mom put it, which is perfect. He doesn’t exactly treat them as mini-adults—he doesn’t say inappropriate things to them, and he does simplify his language and his ideas for them—but he does treat them very seriously. And he’s probably best at one-on-one interactions like with Tommy. I think this makes total sense for his character: he doesn’t have kids (David aside lol), he doesn’t have younger siblings, he doesn’t work in a place where he’d see other people’s kids, he doesn’t get to see his nephew much, etc.

…Okay those were all my notes. I know I had other thoughts that were a little less scattered later, but… I’m tired. And most of it is probably in here in some form or another. I also found a list of, like, actual critiques of the episode, and I was considering going through them and addressing them all, and I might still do that. But I think that’s for another day.

[angrylizardjacket]

Run to Paradise {Nikki Sixx} Part 8

8. blood in the cut

Chapter Summary: nikki sets boundaries (sort of), lola puts her fist through a window and deals with the consequences, tommy plays with fire, mick wants a nap, and vince and lola realise where they know each other from.

Warnings: drinking, drug use, blood, injury

ragtag bunch of misfits: @starlalove @marvelismylifffe @lilytalebi @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies @dramatique-moi @missqueeniewrites @calspixie @aryssav @catsoo12 @sweetshutter @silvertonguedserpent @shamelessobsessions @lavenderbones22 @keepcalm-and-beyou @scarecrowmax

{masterlist}

"It's not my fault he has a cute face and nice ass!"

"You are un-fucking-believable," Nikki informs Lola over breakfast, that was edging into lunch, given the time, and consisting of a ham and cheese sandwich. It's a surprisingly decent meal given the usually empty state of their cupboards, "you can't help yourself can you?" Lola's forgone bread entirely, alternating eating slices of ham and cheese.

"What a load of bullshit, you're such a hypocrite," she wiggles a slice of cheese in his face, "you wouldn't know what discretion was if it bit you on the ass."

It's been almost a full week since Tommy first joined the band, and while Lola's not actively trying to sleep with him, she's also not not trying to sleep with him, and Nikki's half convinced it's out of spite.

"I'm just saying, you don't shit where you eat-" he groans, and Lola rolls her eyes.

"Of course not, I'm not an animal," she packs away the food and puts it in the fridge, completely ignoring where Nikki's quietly fuming.

"It's a metaphor, dumbass, stop sleeping with my bandmates!" Nikki's half ready to bang his head on the table out of frustration at her deliberate idiocy, and by her smile, Lola's not in the mood to be cooperative.

"That sounds like a you problem, Niks."

He watches through narrowed eyes as she takes a few pills from a bottle on top of the refrigerator, fills her bottle of water, and grabs her duffel bag from the sofa. She stops by the sofa, pulling up the straps of her sports bra so they sat higher on her shoulders. She's smiling a little in that way that never meant anything good.

"It's cute that you're jealous, though," she teases, and Nikki throws the remaining half of his sandwich at her as she leaves.

"If I got jealous over half the guys you fucked I'd be picking fights with most of LA," he yells after her. To that, she actually stops. He watches her through the window where her posture's gone rigid. There's a beat, a single moment in time where Nikki realises that he's being a colossal, hypocritical asshole, and then Lola whips around and puts her fist through the window, flipping him off while her hand bleeds. Retracting her hand, she glares through the new hole in the window.

"Those in glass houses," she snarled, and stormed off, cradling her bloody hand.

By the time Tommy stops by for practice, bringing along a potential guitarist, Nikki's gaff-taped the hole in the window, and has thrown the largest pieces of glass into the bin.

"Whoa, what happened there?" Tommy's grinning, got his eyebrows raised as he looks at the damage that's been inflicted; Nikki just seems to get more rock and roll every time Tommy sees him.

"Lola's what happened." Nikki glowers at the hole in the window before cracking open a beer and getting practice started.

His temper was significantly improved, however, by the time Mick Mars had shown up, and kicked the other guitarist out. He was right, the kid never would have made it, but just as they're taking a break, talking about potential singers, the front door opens, and there's Lola, hair pulled up into a ponytail, sweaty, cradling her bandaged hand.

"Hey Lola," Tommy grins, and her hostility immediately softens as she gives him a smile.

"Hey," she nodded to him, before giving Nikki an incomprehensible look that he took as an apology of sorts. Its not like he'd get a real one anyhow. She nods at Mick, without even questioning why he was in her house, and he scowls at her as she makes her way through to the kitchen. She takes a pill bottle from the top of the fridge and heads to the bathroom.

"You alright? We're gonna go check out my friend's band, Nikki's just helping Mick pack up his amp," Tommy's too kind for his own good, when he comes to check on Lola, who's been in the bathroom for far too long. To his surprise, the door is open, and Lola's standing over the sink. Panic starts to set in when he sees her bloody hand, and the equally bloody bandage that had been wrapped around it.

"I'm fine, go away Tommy," Lola says quietly, eyes squeezed shut, forehead against the glass of the mirror, hands braced against the edge of the sink. Stepping into the bathroom, however, Tommy's eyebrows knit together as he sees tiny, glittering shards of glass in the sink, and the tweezers in her hand. Her knuckles are actively bleeding.

"Do you need help-?"

"I'm fine," she tried to insist, cracking her eyes open and moving to try and pull another tiny shard of glass from beneath her skin, but her hand was shaking too badly for her to be of any use. Tommy couldn't help himself, turning on the tap and gently running her bloody hand under it; Lola didn't protest, she just sighed deeply, letting her eyes fall closed.

"You should have gone to hospital to get glass removed," he sounds surprisingly mature as he dries her hand with toilet paper, taking the tweezers from her.

"I got the biggest bits out; the rest wasn't bothering me, it was fine," she said, though her voice was tired. She hissed sharply as he pulled a piece from between two knuckles that was deeper than she'd initially realised.

"I'm surprised you felt any of it," he grinned a little, gaze flicked the to the pill bottle on the edge of the counter, and Lola scowled, "how high were you to put your fist through the window?"

"That's not the point;" Lola insisted, though she stopped herself before she started ranting, instead watching Tommy, bright-eyed and focused, working diligently to pull glass from her hand. With a sigh, she conceded, "Nikki might have been right."

"Nikki was right so you punched a window?"

"No, Nikki was right, but then he called me a slut, so then I punched the window." And before Tommy can even interject, whether it's to be confused or to put his foot in his mouth, Lola cut him off, "and yeah, I am a slut, but he's a damn hypocrite; he's got some fuckin' nerve." She clicked her tongue, eyes falling closed. Tommy laughed a little, running her hand under the water again to clean it off.

"Dad would be so pissed at me," Lola mutters under her breath, quiet enough that Tommy barely caught it, but before he can ask, her free hand is fumbling with the pill bottle. "You want any?" She asks, offering it easily.

"Uh, what is it?" Tommy's brows furrow and Lola's heart softens a little.

"Molly, you don't have to have any if you don't-" but before she's even finished he's agreeing, still holding her injured hand as he holds out his hand for her to hand him a pill. He swallows it easily and finishes up his work, washing the shards of glass down the sink.

"Do you guys have any bandages or anything?" He asks, and she can tell by the hesitation in his voice and the way he's looking around the dingy bathroom that he expects the answer to be no. Instead, she kneels down to her duffel bag and pulls out a roll of gauze, much to Tommy's pleasant surprise. "Listen, I don't know how to do this, I'm just-" and he's fumbling with the gauze. Lola's smile is fond and soft when she takes it from him hands, wrapping up her now glass-free hand with the same practiced efficiency that she set up band equipment.

He looks on with raised eyebrows, but she doesn't explain herself, instead she grabs athletic tape from her bag and secures it. When she finally meets his gaze, his expression brightens.

"Better?"

"Much, thanks to you," her smile is surprisingly genuine, and Tommy drops the tweezers onto the counter and turns away to hide his faint blush, because he's still fairly convinced she's Nikki's girlfriend and he likes this band too much to fuck it up.

"Well," and he walks out into the living room, Lola following behind, though she heads to the kitchen to grab herself a drink, "I mean I do a lot of stupid shit, but I've never fucked up my hand doing something as cool as punching through a window." He's laughing now, a little self deprecating as he picks up his own beer, sitting behind his drums. "I feel like I get more rock and roll just being here."

The moment Nikki steps back inside, he casts his gaze from Tommy to Lola, and she gives him a sunny smile, all of the earlier anger and resentment seemingly forgotten; he seemed unnerved. Tommy shoots Lola a grin as he heads out to the car at Nikki's insistence, but Nikki just stands by the door as he passes, frowning.

"Okay," Lola concedes once the drummer is out of earshot, "I get, with my track record and everything, why you think me hooking up with him is a bad idea," and Nikki's wearing a grimace, mouth half open like he wants to say something, but Lola's not going to give him an opening, "but it's not going to be like last time if - if - I do end up, you know," Lola's making incoherent hand gestures that mostly get her point across, but Nikki doesn't seem convinced, "though if it really means that much to you, I'll be on my best behaviour; I won't even flirt. For now." At least that gets him to smile. His shoulders relax a little, there's maybe even something close to gratefulness in his expression.

"Your hand okay?"

"Yeah, Tommy got the rest of the glass out," Lola held up her bandaged hand, making her way over to him. From outside, Mick beeps his horn impatiently. "How's the guitarist?"

"Weird as fuck but damn if he doesn't shred," Nikki snickered, "I'd better head off, dude's not one to fuck around and if I don't go with them he'll probably end up killing Tommy."

"After just a day?"

Nikki gives an amused, lopsided smile that says everything, and Lola nods, before bouncing up onto her toes and pressing a kiss to his cheek. It takes her a moment to realise what's happened, to note that she's never done that before, never so sweet or casual, but he doesn't seem to notice like she does, and she moves on quickly.

"Well go stop a murder, I'm gonna take a nap," and with that they go their separate ways. Lola, true to her word, does crash, strips out of her work out clothes, showers, and pulls on the first shirt she finds that seems mostly clean, drifting off to sleep after half a cup of whiskey.

She absolutely fully intends to keep her promise to Nikki; she wouldn't sleep with any of his bandmates. He seems thrilled at the prospect of the new singer, he might not agree with the guy's look, but the guy had the girls in the audience of a back-yard pool party almost creaming themselves, apparently, which seemed to bode well for both him and the band.

"You'd love him," Nikki snorts, smirking at her where she's applying her makeup for her bump in job that night, and Lola closes her hand mirror with a snap, giving him a light shove.

"I already told you I'm not gonna fuck your band," she rolls her eyes at him, smiling as she rifles through her bag for her lipstick.

But the next day, Lola comes back from boxing the same way she does every Sunday, hair tied back, wearing the neon athletic gear in teal and purple, the only colours available when she'd shoplifted them a few months prior, needing a beer and a nap. But there's music coming from the other side of the apartment door that sounds pretty damn incredible.

The minute she steps inside, the blonde at the microphone stops singing, confused by the intrusion, and the girl on the sofa gets up.

"Hey Lola, your hand any better?" Tommy asks as the music stumbles to a halt. He, however, doesn't get a response, as the woman cocks her hip, arches an eyebrow, and gives Lola an unimpressed look over.

"Excuse me but who are you?"

"Yeah, fuckin' excuse you," Lola scowls, dropping her duffel bag by the door, crossing her arms, "I live here, who the fuck are you?" Nikki laughs but has to hide it behind a cough. Before the girl can even answer, Lola steps forwards, "why are you in my apartment-?" She turns to the band, gesturing to the blonde, "why the fuck is she in my apartment?"

Nikki's turned away to hide the outright grin on his face, and Tommy's barely holding one back. Mick looks like he wants a nap. Tommy just gestures helplessly to the blonde singer, who doesn't seem to be enjoying this one bit.

"I'm Beth," the woman finally speaks up, "Vince's girlfriend, and you are?" She's not lost the demanding, defensive edge to her tone, and Lola turns to the singer, who must be Vince, and Lola's hit with the strangest sense of deja vu. She knows she knows him from somewhere, but she can't put her finger on where exactly, and he's looking at her like he's thinking the exact same thing.

"Do I know you?" Vince asks, ignoring Beth's huff as she sits back down, put out. "I feel like I know you." He gives her a confused but relatively warm smile.

"Many people do," Lola pushes through the uncertainty to give a tight smile, offering her hand, "Lola Gone." He shakes it, introduces himself as Vince Neil, and there's another beat; she's pretty sure his name means something to her but she can't for the life of her place why.

"Well," Lola drops his hand, looking around at the mixture of amused and confused looks they're getting, "I'm gonna have a shower." Beth looks like she wants to say something, but wisely stays quiet as Lola closes the front door and heads through to the bathroom. After showering, she heads directly for a nap, waking only when the front door slams closed, and she realises the music's stopped.

Beth's gone home when Lola surfaces to get herself dinner, which was just some ham on toast, while the band begins brainstorming names and songs and their look. It's all fine, she leaves them be, gets herself a drink and takes a few pills, but then Tommy calls that he sees a cockroach and is asking where Nikki keeps the hairspray, and then there's the rush of flames and Lola drops and smashes one of the few plates they have.

"Lo?" Nikki calls; Tommy's still going after the roach, though the other three are looking over to the kitchen.

"Fine, fine," she calls, dropping down and picking up what pieces she can with shaking hands, with Tommy crowing victorious in the other room. It's quiet for a few moments before Vince announces he's going to get another beer, and he steps into the kitchen to see Lola, on the floor, with her forehead pressed against the cabinet, breathing deeply.

"You alright?" He asks, quiet and awkward as he opens the fridge, pulling out a beer.

"Yeah- I," she gives him a smile before putting the shards of the plate into the bin, standing. He's close now, much closer than when she'd first met him in the apartment, the shoebox kitchen barely big enough for two people. She's getting that feeling again, like she knows him. He's reaching past her for the bottle opener when he catches a glimpse of the scarring on her shoulder where Nikki's shirt that she'd been wearing is slipping off a little.

And then it hits him.

"I do know you." He's so sure of it that it's a little worrying. "We did blow together after a gig at the Starwood." And he's pointedly not mentioning what else they did, still unsure as to how she fits into this whole dynamic, but he can see it on her face as she starts to remember.

"You're the Rock Candy singer," Lola nods, expression carefully neutral, despite the blush about her ears.

"That I am," he agrees, before reconsidering, "well, I was." And he gives a tentative smile, which Lola returns, already amused at the irony of the promise she'd made the previous day. It's a quiet moment that follows, neither of them seem sure what to say or how to act, but Lola knows the way his eyes are sparkling, now that he remembers exactly who she is, that it can only lead to mischief. And she's trying so hard to be good.

"How long does it take to get a fuckin' beer? We're waiting here." Mick calls, and Lola cracks, laughing at Vince's exasperation as he heads back into the living room, biting out a retort and rolling his eyes, grabbing the bottle opener from the table.

"Everything okay, Lo?" Nikki calls, though he sounds distracted, and she knows he's excited to be finally at this stage with his own damn band.

"Things are great, Niks, but the cockroaches have taken my dinner," she sighs, throwing her toast in the bin too. Tommy goes to offer his services with the hairspray and the lighter, but Lola's sharp refusal at least makes him put the hairspray down, though he does look a little put out.

The three dark haired band members are all busy focusing on their notepads, trying to come up with a kickass band name around the coffee table, but Vince is watching Lola in the kitchenette, expression pensive, though there's the hint of a smirk on his lips. Lola, for her part, gives him a small smile in return when she finally catches his gaze; Vince goes back to being invested in the band, and Lola finishes her dinner and heads back into bed to finish it off and pretend to read when she's really stewing on everything that's happened over the past few days.

She's pretty sure she can't be retroactively held accountable for her actions. Or, she muses, what Nikki doesn't know won't hurt him. The past is the past, and it won't happen again.

Probably.

Maybe.