#also color scheme of this set is all over the place but i don't hate the final result hahaha

[kmkxn]

ᴠᴏɪᴅ - 𝔪𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔫𝔦𝔢 𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔷 portals series x | x | x | x

[waaow]

Warning for a lot of irrelevant ranting about a specific Deltarune theory topic that has no impact on the actual plot of the game at all.

A lot of the time in Deltarune fan content, the creators will have Kris meet a Deltarune version of Frisk, usually as one of Asriel's college buddies or something.

I very much hate it (this is an exaggeration its just a thing that commonly happens that irritates me slightly). Kris IS the Deltarune version of Frisk. It's been pretty much told to us since Undertale launched (specifically Version 1.001) via Clamgirl.

"My neighbor's daughter looks about your age. Her name is "Suzy." I feel like you two should be friends. Not knowing where I live is no issue. Fate finds a way. In life's grand scheme, she might be why you came here in the first place..."

What does Clamgirl keep talking about? What is the purpose of her dialogue? Foreshadowing Deltarune. Talking to her is what spawns the "Don't Forget" note in Sans' basement. She's the one who went goner mode to break the 4th wall a month before Deltarune launched. Everything she says about Frisk and Suzy foreshadows Kris and Susie.

"Suzy" and Frisk are fated to meet each other. In life's grand scheme, Frisk's fall needed to happen for them to meet Suzy. Fate is a huge theme in Deltarune, but what I want to specifically emphasize is that Kris and Susie were fated to meet due to the Legend. They needed to meet to become heroes.

Clamgirl says Frisk and Suzy "should be friends." Just like how Kris and Susie end up as friends extremely quickly. Frisk 'looks about' the same age as Suzy, Kris and Susie are in the same class and thus around the same age.

Kris is just an anagram of Frisk minus the 'F'. Suzy is phonetically identical to Susie, just with one less letter. They are the only notable characters to have changed names inbetween universes, and they just swapped the number of letters with eachother. Something to note is that their UT versions do not have the anagrams to "Risk" and "Issue," which depending on the plot of this game, might actually be important.

This isn't even talking about all of Kris and Frisk's numerous other similarities.

They have the EXACT same skin color and hair color. They most likely have the same eye color, as either the red eyes are unnatural and caused by possession or possession doesn't affect their eye color. Chara does take over Frisk's body, but the sprite uses Frisk's color pallette, their skin color and hair color are the same. It's still Frisk's body. Thus the eyes are Frisk's eyes.

They have similar light world equipment. Both of them wear bandages. Frisk has a stick. Kris has a pencil, which is a wooden stick-like object.

Their light world item throw-away narration has them performing the same actions to items.

Kris has blue and magenta themed colors in the dark world, which is just a more vibrant version of Frisk's clothing color scheme in Undertale. Their entire dark world room that Ralsei built for them is in that color scheme. Ralsei specifically knows about Kris and Susie's interests and desires, as their rooms have those design choices things in mind.

They're both flirtatious. Frisk is incredibly apparent with their flirting, but you can flirt with multiple enemies as Kris, and Toby has stated they'd get accidentally disbarred due to flirting with a witness in an ace attorney setting.

They're both mischievous as well. Kris' pranks are described by Toriel, Rudy, and Noelle. They also can prank Noelle in an incredible amount of ways during chapter 2 and seem to enjoy doing it. Frisk has a lot of small little moments, especially during ACTs or the hangouts with Papyrus, Undyne, and Alphys. Some usually missed ones are when they flatten a cinnabun and pour sea tea under the hotel doors.

They serve the same purpose, our protagonist we control. Even how we start playing as them is like identical. We name the first fallen human ("TrueChara" sprite name) or the Vessel, but instead of playing as them, we get shoved into the jaundice gremlins instead (who both use "mainchara"). Kris is just the natural progression of Frisk. The entire time, you were supposed to believe that you named Frisk, that they were your self insert into the world. That gets mirrored by Flowey, who believes Frisk to be the first fallen human (who you named). The game ends with Asriel and new/unspoiled players realizing that Frisk isn't Chara. In the next game, Kris gets that revealed immediately when they wake up, and they further that development by having their personality a lot more discernible without in-depth analysis.

No other theories talking about Kris' Undertale variant make sense. The Clamgirl lines are too strong. The only one that even comes close is Chara, and the similarities Kris and Chara share aren't as deep as they seem.

First off, things that Kris and Chara share that Frisk doesn't seem to show any opinions on. Chara has one comment about chocolate that seems to imply they like it and the weapon that represents them is a knife. Kris very much likes chocolate and knives, but does not use a knife as a weapon

The big one people like to point to Chara being the adopted child of the Dreemurrs. There are a lot of problems with this.

The first one is that, arguably, so is Frisk. Frisk shows interest in being adopted by Asgore when talking to Gerson in the TP epilogue and CAN be adopted by Toriel/call her mom.

The second is that Chara is distinctly and purposefully seperated from the rest of the family every single time any of the Dreemurrs mention them. Asriel always calls them his best friend. In the winter alarm clock dialogue Toriel refers to them as "someone I knew long ago" and in the same conversation talks about Asriel and calls him "my son." Asgore only mentions having a single child, a son, at the end of his battle. "I remember the day after my son died. [...] I just want to see my wife, I just want to see my child." He could have easily used the word "Children" in either of these two instances, but did not. In the extended spare version where Flowey does not kill Asgore, he again distinguishes Asriel as his child and Chara as someone else. "Young one, when I look at you...I'm reminded of the human that fell here long ago... [...] But I believe your freedom...... is what my son...... what ASRIEL would have wanted." It is only Gerson who calls Chara part of the family. The new home monsters said they were 'like' family specifically.

Kris meanwhile is always treated as part of the Dreemurr family. Narration, Toriel, and other characters refer to Asriel as their brother. Narration, Asgore, and other characters refer to Toriel as their mother. Narration, Toriel, and other characters call Asgore their father.

Third is that even if Chara is part of the family, they had an entirely different dynamic with UT-Asriel than Kris does with DR-Asriel. Chara and UT-Asriel are around the same age, with Chara taking the more stereotypically older sibling role. Kris is much younger than DR-Asriel, and Asriel takes the more stereotypically older sibling role. We can reasonably guess that Frisk is also younger than Flowey from a age standpoint. Even if Chara & Asriel were the same age as Frisk when they died, Flowey spent an unknown but long amount of time doing runs before Frisk fell. If Frisk is the one being talked to in the Winter Alarm Clock (extremely likely, Flowey's dialogue heavily hints at it), he directly positions himself as someone who's "grown up." Basically, Chara and Asriel are around the same age. Frisk and Kris are younger than their universe's Asriel.

My final point for this is that the relative timeline just works better if Kris is Frisk. All the monsters in DR are monsters we know exist/existed in Frisk's time. Even the Holiday family, with the daughters still notably being kids according to WAC-Asgore and DogCasino-Sans, the youngest one (Noelle) likely being Frisk's age like Suzy & MK are.

So at most Kris can be Frisk with a bit of Chara sprinkled on, but even if they are, Clamgirl confirms that the two of them are alternate universe versions of eachother. Chara either exists as the Vessel or as some random human in the world somewhere.

[dreadsuitsamus]

Getting Revenge on Jiraiya Headcanons | Jiraiya x Reader |

author's note: i saw a video on facebook and it inspired me to write something silly lol also i have no idea how to actually classify these? they're more than headcanons but i just don't always want to write a full-fledged story with allllll the details, i like the bulleted list telling a story too but to call them headcanons feels inaccurate. does anyone have any suggestions?

pairing: jiraiya x fem!reader

warnings: the relationship depicted is a little toxic lol nothing too crazy though, jealousy and an on and off relationship, light angst, mention of pregnancy loss

You and Jiraiya have an on-again, off-again relationship

However often you always find your way back to each other, there is eventually an off phase again and that's when shit gets out of hand

The two of you are so obviously in love and hooked to the hip even without being official anymore

But... Jiraiya is gonna Jiraiya regardless, whether it's with you or someone else

And you hate it

It's not cheating in the slightest, but it still creates an ugly feeling in the pit of your stomach when you talk to him the morning after an outing

You know the specific glow on his face and his tone of voice when he's gotten laid

they never make him glow like you do

And sometimes, you can admittedly get a little toxic

But Jiraiya loves it when you get jealous, no matter what the consequence is when he purposely prods you to react to his latest hookup

And his toxic trait, along with intentionally setting you off, is that he gets mad at you when you give him a response like he wanted

he thinks it's hot when you're angry tho

The latest encounter will probably be his last though, which is saying a lot

You were out with some friends at a club, dressed to the nines and celebrating Tsunade's birthday

you don't know how old she is and you're afraid to ask

You're having a damn good time, until you happen to glance over and see Jiraiya with three women

One is rubbing his shoulders while he smirks with his stupid face, rubbing one's stupid inner thigh, and sucking a hickey on the other's stupid neck

Your face twists into a jealous fury, and Tsunade notices fast

She pulls you aside. "How are you ever gonna find the right one for you if you're busy with the Jiraiya song-and-dance?"

That makes you pause. You never really thought of actually dating anyone that isn't Jiraiya

You frown. "You're right. I can't keep doing this."

Tsunade smirks "Then make your last act of revenge count."

god she's hot when she starts scheming

Jiraiya never takes his hookups home, which gives you and the girls the perfect opportunity to hatch your plan

You all head to the nearest supermarket and giggle as you make your way to the craft section, heels clicking against the floor and heads of the various employees and customers turning

You quickly pull together your supplies and rush for the register, your friends having to hold Tsunade back from putting an old man with funky sunglasses in traction

The girls follow you out to take the train out of downtown and eventually get to Jiraiya's place. You use your key to get in and set it in the glass bowl he keeps by the door for the last time

You and the girls each don a container of colorful glitter and get to work, saving the bedroom for you alone as they sprinkle it in as many annoying places they can think of

You head upstairs and grit your teeth, unleashing all of your anger as you glitter his room. You throw it on the carpet, digging your heel in to make sure it's really in there. You put it on his clothes, his master bathroom, and finally his bed.

You're surprised when you feel tears falling down to your neck and chest

Nothing hurts you more than not being with Jiraiya, and to see him with another woman (or three) is excruciating. You've loved him for ten years now and it breaks your heart every single time you part with him

And he moves on so easily every fucking time. As if he doesn't care. As if you're easy to replace. You could never find a hookup within a week or two after a breakup

Your eyes settle on a framed photo hung up on the wall. It was of you and Jiraiya from many years ago, and from what you both thought was the best date of your lives. You were both so happy and it brings more tears to your eyes

You knock the picture off the wall, leaving it face down in a pile of glitter

You toss glitter in a few more places before you're all out, throwing the bottle to the side somewhere and heading back downstairs

Tsunade looks at you carefully and brushes her bangs out of her eyes, and quickly calls the rest of the girls to hurry up in case Jiraiya comes home early

You all leave and head back to another club to get what Tsunade referred to as "white girl wasted"

and god were you fucked up

When you're next conscious, it's because your phone is ringing right in your ear

You push your head up, the world around you spinning and the sunlight burning your soul. You check your phone to see it was one in the afternoon, and Jiraiya was the one making your phone ring

"Pfft... 'm not answerin' that one..." You snort, flopping your head back into your pillow. You're not even sure how you got home, but you're thankful for it nonetheless

Eventually you get up to eat and then shower, and when you go back out to your bedroom with your body only covered with a towel, you find Jiraiya sitting at the edge of your bed with his head ducked

You frown. "You should leave."

Jiraiya looks up with fury in his eyes. "I don't think so."

"I'm too hungover for this." You mutter and walk to your dresser.

"You glitter-bombed my house." Jiraiya says, clearly not letting you walk away from this.

"How do you know it's me?" You scoff.

"For starters, I have a Ring camera." He deadpans, "Tell me what you remember of last night."

You inhale deeply as you search your drawers for something to wear. "I went out for Tsunade's birthday."

"And that's it?"

"Obviously." You mutter, lying through your teeth as you pull out a crop top and a pair of underwear. "Look away, perv."

he doesn't

You drop the towel and pull the top over your breasts quickly and follow suit with the thong-style panties, turning and crossing your arms at him

"So what do you want?"

"You should be nicer to the man who got you home safely last night."

You blink, and Jiraiya stands tall with his impressive height and muscle. You forget just how big he is sometimes

"That's right." He crosses his arms. "Even after I came home and saw the mess you made, I still got you home."

"You saw it already? What, you shoot your load early with those bitches last night?"

Jiraiya smirks at your bitterness. "You know more than anyone I'm no one-pump-chump. And I didn't sleep with them, you green-eyed monster."

You narrow your eyes. "Liar."

"I swear on that baby of ours in heaven." Jiraiya says solemnly, looking you right in the eye.

You stare at each other for a long moment before you finally break the silence. "Why are you here?"

"It's time to settle this, don't you think?"

"I settled it last night."

Jiraiya pulls something from his pocket. It's your key you left behind. "You call this settling it? You left your glitter in my house! You'll be stuck on me forever, whether you like it or not. And something tells me, you little minx, that you like that thought."

"Of course I do. But I don't think you do. You move on so fast when we split. Do you even care?"

"I've never moved on from you once. I drink and fuck around to numb the pain of not having you. Every single time." His eyes are soft. "And when I saw you with your friends, I couldn't think of anything but you. So I went home early and found the mess you made, laughed at what I found and went out to take you home. Because you're crazy and I just can't get enough."

"Tell me you mean that." You swallow thickly. "Tell me this will be the last time."

"I'll die before I let you go again. And I really don't wanna know what you'd do to top the glitter revenge."

You laugh and move into his arms, embracing each other tightly and pressing your lips together

Naturally, he places a hand on your ass and gives it a squeeze

"I know what's good for that hangover. Let's just say that there's a little someone I know that's standing here in a thong that once said dick is the best way to cure a hangover."

"God, you're a pervert."

"The name's Jiraiya." He smirks

Dick was, in fact, the best way to cure your hangover

[gatormeister]

Mobile Suit Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket Finished!

I really enjoyed this one. It has a fantastic story. The decision to set it in the perspective of mostly a civilian child who admires soldiers a little too much maybe, was a fantastic one. It really makes the battles that happen over the course of the OVA have a real great sense of scale. The destruction of buildings, crushing of vehicles, the explosions all feel more intense when you have someone on the ground helpless against the forces of these giants.

The soundtrack was fantastic, that's just a given with this series by now.

As for the suit designs, I loved them. It mostly consists of just variations of what has already been seen before, but like with those GMs in the first episode, the color choices just really elevate the existing designs. Especially the Zaku II Kai, the green, yellow, and red of the Hizack is part of why I lean towards it over the standard Zaku II, and Kai using those same colors absolutely elevates it for me. The new designs are no slouch either. The Kampfer is awesome especially with it's mobile suit sized shotgun. The Z’gok-E, short as their appearance was, looked utterly fantastic.

As for the Alex... I liked it. The Alex is essentially a variation of the RX-78-2, but with a larger chest and shorter torso, extra bulk on the forearms to accommodate the hidden gatling guns, and more bulk on the legs for additional thrusters it looked like. I like it, I like it's color scheme, but it isn't like an elevating factor over the 78-2 like how the Kai was for the Zaku II. I also just wasn't a fan of the armored look, but I don't tend to like when any mobile suit has an extra armored mode.

Hamburger

I know I said after the OVAs I would do Gundam X, but I do feel some sort of urge to watch Gundam Seed. It's easier to actually watch it since it's available in more places, there's a new movie coming out for Seed, and it would just get it out of the way. I don't really have many expectations for Seed, so I never felt much interest in it other than figuring out why Seed Destiny is so hated, which I do intend to watch right after Seed if I do regardless of if it's good or not. The Strike Gundam didn't really do anything for me design wise, but playing through SD Battle Alliance I did kind enjoy the look of the providence Gundam. I know a lot of people like Seed and a lot of people hate Seed, so something has to be there, and I would have watched it eventually anyways. It's just a thought though. Still have 0083, thunderbolt, and possibly more to go through before deciding on that.

[writingforatwistedworld]

Phantom bride event-Player is the last option Pt. 1

Characters: Leona Kingscholar, Vil Schoenheit, Jack Howl

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, violence, obsession, possessiveness, poison, death, murder

Oh no. Oh no no no no no no no!!!!

There is no way Leona can stay calm during this

First the dead annoyance took your first time wearing clothing for wedding but now you are also endangered to to get fresh-frozen

He was already ready to yeet his lazy self out of the window after that clothing thingy

But now? You? Alone? With her? No one being able to stop her??!

Nu-uh. If that is the case then he will make sure that no one can have you

And I mean that literally because... well... he would rather see you dead than promised to her

So here he is, fuming, imploding from anger and... eerily silent

You would think that he would aim for you now as well but he just stares

Leona knows that he can't escape now so he waits till the deal is done

So once he is free again he will uh... mix the color scheme of the place a bit up

You get me, right?

If he would have been there when this was decided then he would have ripped that stupid crows head off

He would have made sure that you would never set foot into the school until this was over

But no! Someone had to allow you to come! Oh happy day!

Just... try signaling him that this is still a fake proposal. Maybe he will just chop off your legs so you can never get away from him

He would be genuinely offended if she would refuse

Ok, you look horrible. The clothing was just thrown at you and it's not even properly ironed

But... it's you

Perfection in person

His muse

Poisoned apples sadly don't work on ghosts because otherwise he would have given missy one already

Well, she already has the fitting complexion so... mhm...

And yes, he would also be sad and falling into despair if she were to say yes but he is aware, unlike other certain individuals, that this is all an act

Interested in taking on a role in the next film he is in? You could be the Overseer in there! How fitting!

Your acting skills are sufficient enough as he can see

Vil is sad, angry but also happy that you are here

He doesn't show this of course

Sad because, well, he isn't the one who gets proposed to

Angry because Crewel didn't stop you from marching in here

And happy because his beloved came to help him

But be careful with the food he serves you after this. That apple isn't poisoned. Oh no. There was just a certain something added. A certain love potion....

He might be planning your wedding already but he doesn't feel so great about the thought that everyone was turned into a popsicle and you are the only one left

There is no one there to protect you!

If it wouldn't be for the pesky magic holding him in place then he would already be standing between you and her

Jack hates it only being able to watch

50% of his brain is occupied with thoughts about your and his wedding but the other 50% are occupied with how he could protect you if he could

What is the fastest way to rip someone's head off?

And then he would present it to you which would lead to you hugging him and telling him that he is a wonderful fiance and...

Yeah no. No way. All just in his head

But then again, he is raised after Shaftlands logic so... he is throwing a lot of insults at himself

That place is all for reaching better performances and coming closer to your perfection

And now he isn't able to proof himself and protect you in such a situation

Which must mean that he is absolutely useless

But he wouldn't be Jack Howl if he would just stop here

A lot more training

Magic and his body

You might want to stop him before this ends in a tragedy because of him overlooking himself

[klutzyroses]

Ranking Ikemen MCs Outfits (Standard Vs Idols)

I feel like playing fashion critic today.

First, I will rank their everyday outfits~

Everyday Outfits

4TH PLACE: MITSUKI (Ikemen Vampire)

This outfit invokes within me, pure revulsion. At first, I was like "That is really boring, I would not be seen in that" but the more I look at it the more I hate it. Like, ughhhh, what a waste of potential. Girl, you in the Victorian Era, why you dressed like that?

If I had a hot super rich vampire who thrived on spoiling me, you better believe I am strutting out in a different dress everyday. Paris would be my runway.

Maybe she's going for the "girl next door" look but then she should gone for a cuter top to go with the skirt. Maybe something with ruffles like THIS

To make it more interesting...

But nooooo...

If she was conservative, so be it but she's NOT. So the outfit is even less necessary and all around....blegh.

Conclusion: The outfit is bland as hell, the hair ribbon isn't helping, the shoes are trash. Thus it is a blegh outfit. Her saving grace is her wavy hair, cause I love wavy hair.

3RD PLACE: ALICE (Ikemen Revolution)

Ok so... suspenders....hm...suspender dresses don't work very often for me, especially not ones with long suspenders. They're offensive but...they don't look like they're good for much. They look ready to snap at the slightest inconvenience. The top is what Mitsuki should be wearing. Relatively simple, considering she is from Victorian England, but cute. The ribbon looks a little weird, like the designers couldn't decide whether it should be a bow or a scarf. The brooch is pretty, though it doesn't look like it really needs to be there. The skirt is very pretty, the design is princessy and girly and the frills are not overdone. The color scheme is a little...dull, especially with the dark over skirt...it could afford to be a little livelier. That said...the hair. Pretty standard, just like the other MCs. at least hers has a braid? I guess...

Conclusion: It isn't AWFUL just...a little dull for such a lively young woman...

2ND PLACE: MAI (Ikemen Sengoku)

Now this is a very cute outfit. Nice shade of pink, love the floral design on it, the splash of red from the obi (is that what it's called?) adds a nice touch, it's a fairly simple, clean look. There isn't much to say about it, apart from the rope belt with the red beads is cute too. It doesn't exactly say "princess" of anything tbh, BUT she is also a chatelaine right? So she does need to be a bit more practical...Points though for a slightly different hairstyle. Two cute braids while the rest is loose...not a world of difference, but it does sort of set her apart from the other MCs.

Conclusion: It's a pretty kimono, it suits her and the pink flowers make me happy.

1ST PLACE: EMMA (Ikemen Prince)

Emma hands down is the prettiest MC of the four and part of that is because she has the best everyday outfit. Not too much, not too little. The collar is really cute and I love the corset with gold accents and the blue and red looks pretty on her without her looking like the American flag. I will voice my discontent that her Hairstyle is...the most boring of all the MCs. It's like all of theirs, but it's just a bun...literally not much else is different. It suits her but...meh.

Conclusion: Simple but pretty enough to be noticeable. Practical and kinda elegant too.

Idol Outfits~

4TH PLACE: ALICE

Easily Alice is the cutest here. Pigtails? That's already two points. This is a pigtail-loving zone. That little touch of pink lipstick make her look so soft and pretty, the suitors won't be able to stop kissing her💋. The dress looks so beautiful on her, she looks like a fairytale princess, bonus for the shorter black skirt.

I have to admit, I am not a fan of that color. Normally, seafoam makes me SICK, but she actually rocks it tbh, especially with the light splashes of magenta and pale blue roses blending with it.

Those earrings tho....😬

Tassels on jewelry are a no-no in my book. And those earrings look like a last second add on, cause they do not go too well with the choker and the little gems on her dress. They don't ruin the look but...mm, not great at all.

Speaking of the choker...I'm a sucker for chokers and the gems match her eyes great.

Conclusion: She is a pretty princess, which is to be expected, she is the "lady" of the 4 and I would LOVE for this to be the standard look. I feel like if she started singing, the most soothing voice would come out of her...maybe she would sound like Ariana Grande?

3RD PLACE: EMMA

Oo, she looks greaaaat in dark blue with all the gold and ruffles, the pants are so Girl Boss💅 to me...though....the hair is a bit meh. It's not bad at all, just a little underwhelming to me. I also wish there was more colors other than blue here. Maybe if the gems and earrings were pink or yellow, she would be more striking? Or maybe add a dash of violet to the pants? Or have the inside top be lilac? The scarf looks a little out of place, it doesn't really go with the rest of the outfit but...I actually kind of like it? The only other reason Emma isn't higher is because the top 2 are top tier👀

Conclusion: She may be Belle, but she looks like a badass version of Cinderella👠 and I'm here for it. She looks like a singer with a powerful voice like...Christina Aguilera?

2ND PLACE: MAI

Ayee, check out the Princess of Azuchi👀

She looks amazing! I'm a sucker for hair streaks, and she comes out here rocking red in that ponytail (Is it a ponytail? I think it's a ponytail). I think its really cute she still sports her signature braids even in a different style, so it's still very Mai. Now...the outfit itself, at first glance I thought it was a bit much, but it actually works. She actually reminds me of Keiji with all the colors. Flashy but it looks good. She doesn't do red too often, but she looks fire in it with all the gold and purples. I love the mismatched earrings cause...well because they're pretty and it's a bit rebellious. Black nails...take a special kind of person to pull them off without looking too dark...and she has managed it. I also like the flowers in her hair...except for that really big white one. It looks a little awkward and might be overdoing it with that one. However...thigh high socks...👀

Now you're speaking my language. They look so CUTE on her! Combined with little black dress, she could only wear that and still look amazing. I live for the top part of the dress, especially the black sheer. Very Kai'sa to me and I stan Kai'sa so... I stan this top. The skirt might be just a TOUCH too much, considering the rest of the ensemble, so maybe she should've gone for just a simple miniskirt? But she can keep the pearls, i will never say no to pearls.

The kimono is still very Sengoku while taking a modern hammer to it, and it paid off in spades. Its bold, its beautiful and there is no question that this is Azuchi's princess, if not queen.

Conclusion: She is a literal Pop princess🎤, she looks like she can rap tbh, I imagine her sounding like Lisa from BLACKPINK. And I'm there for it

1ST PLACE: MITSUKI

This...

THIS.

Who dis?!

Now this is the look of a Vampire QUEEN👸. I love everything here, the dress is hella gorgeous, the purple and black is stunning on her. That hair is EVERYTHING, especially with the pearls, she is literally a princess. I love the earrings, they are gorgeous, but not overly flashy or crazy looking and add to the glamorous vibes she is setting off. The necklace is a bit much, I'd be afraid to wear it for fear it'll prick me😅 but she makes it work. Gold nails💅? Yes please. They go well with her glittery makeup, it's not too much, but just enough to make her eyes come out more. And if that wasn't enough....thigh high socks and fingerless gloves..?

Yes. Just....yes.

She is top tier in this, I wish she could look like this all the time. She looks like an A-list movie star playing a queen...with sparkles everywhere. And I can never have enough sparkle✨

Conclusion: Her everyday look causes me anguish and physical pain, but THIS is giving me life, oh nah, she could take over France looking like this. She definitely looks like she can sing like Mariah Carey, I'm convinced.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

B2:S - Chapter 5

Much of this series will be about the differences and additions in the novel version, and how they contribute to my understanding of story canon. But there will be character appreciation, the odd theory and headcanon, and suchlike as well.

Here be lots of Viren deets, Best Boy Soren deets, some writing/continuity stuff, worldbuilding appreciation and half of a theory, Detective Rayla, Moon Temple geeking, Claudium and dark magic, and more!

Spoilers for Book Two: Sky below.

(I know for darn sure that I wrote up a post for chapter 4, but I can't find it anywhere so I guess Tumblr ate it and I'll have to redo it at some point, but today is not that day)

Viren, my evil dude, my bad guy, coming in clutch with the worldbuilding and backstory again! If you want to know decades of information, you gotta talk to Viren. Or read his scenes, at least. Here, he seems to not sleep much when he has a big problem to analyze his way through. Solutions trump pretty much everything else in this guy's life, and he's had a really hard week with a lot of new and complicated problems. Of course he's getting sleep-deprived trying to find his way through them all.

Harrow put so much trust in Viren when he made him High Mage! He just threw himself extra hard at that Lady Justice blindfold, didn't he? Didn't really want to see what Viren was doing in his magic study, so he left Viren to his devices. And Viren has a lot of devices.

Also, this is fascinating: Viren made the secret passage to his "less official study" in Katolis Castle! And he was inspired to do so by the way his own mentor kept the Puzzle House. What else could a Puzzle House be, except a place with secret passages? Yay! secret headcanon that "the Puzzle House" is just "Katolis Castle" from Kid Viren's perspective tho

So either Viren built all of those passageways, or at least the ones to his dungeon. Which means he has to have, or know where to get, a stash of those glowing blue Moonshadow crystals. Hmmm.

I can't wait to learn more about Kpp'Ar and young Viren, btw. From this description of Viren and all his literal secret ways, it feels like another parallel between Viren and Runaan, with the whole "secretive paths, members only, insider knowledge" type stuff. Only the really cool members of this cult club get to know the secrets, and guess what, kid, you're cool now but you can never tell anyone, okay? Our secret.

Yeahhh, that'll never backfire in any way for either of them.

Kpp'Ar calling puzzles and secrets "man-made magic," though. Yes sir, knowledge is indeed power.

This chapter mentions Runaan by name, from Viren's perspective. Generally that would imply that Viren knows his name, even though assassins do not share their names, and Runaan didn't seem to give his to Viren in the first book. However, there was a scene in book one where the last paragraph switched perspective from Viren to Runaan - a technique that's very common in visual media like movies and shows and gives you that "ohoho they left the room and didn't notice this, but you do!" vibe. Using Runaan's name there in book one, where Viren couldn't see it but readers could, helps them keep track of the assassin's story arc while maintaining Viren's racism.

So in book two, in which Runaan has no onscreen scenes (alas), using his name in a scene that calls back to the events in book one helps us remember what happened in that dungeon cell. It would be a bit muddier to recall the specifics if Viren kept thinking about Runaan as "Elf." So I'm cool with the perspective nudge because it serves a narrative purpose: clarity. But I'm also enjoying the angst of considering that, somehow, Viren learned Runaan's name either during or after the coining spell. Mwa ha ha haaa. (Obligatory "Keep my pretty name outta your mouth" goes here)

Okay, back to Viren's scheming! He took the mirror because it was human-sized in a dragon lair. He knew it didn't really fit there, and that made it interesting, so he stole it. But he realized it was really powerful when Runaan wouldn't tell him squat about it - the assassin's instinct to protect Xadian secrets from human hands meant that Viren was holding a very powerful Xadian secret. And that just made him want it all the more. Ah, Runaan, if only your relationship with lying was, like, the exact opposite of what it is. Nyx could've spun Viren a believable tale in 2 minutes flat.

Also of interest: Viren considers his cursed coins to be a final fate. He expects Runaan to remain in his coin forever. With the Chekhov's coins still extant in the storyline, we can assume that they'll come up again eventually, but Viren has no current plans to do anything with his elf money except carry it around.

It's worth noting that Viren admits that he got impatient when he trapped Runaan in the coin. Runaan's first fate in Katolis was supposed to be death at Soren's hands, but Claudia "saved" him from that. His next fate was to become spell components, but Viren's frustration with his stubbornness "saved" him from that fate, too. So now he's in a coin, where no one can chop him up at all. Yay? No, boo!

We get one last line about Runaan before Viren shifts gears: he makes a point of noting for us that Runaan's shackles are still locked shut. However much of Runaan made it into that coin - body, soul, hair care products - he was magicked there, pulled right out of his restraints.

The creepy black liquid that Viren pours right into his eyes is the last of a powerful potion he got from Kpp'Ar, and its recipe is ancient! Humans used it back in the age of Elarion to see through the illusions of the world. And we get a delightfully creepy bit of description about the preparation of this serum, which makes it abundantly clear that it's a Moon magic-based concoction, harvested from eyeless vipers on a moonless night, with the threat of irrevocable madness ("madness" by whose definition, though) if it's done wrong-

Hang on. Hold up. This is a Plato's Cave reference. OH MY GOD.

No no I'm fine, this is brilliant. Sorry, sorry, I couldn't figure why there was so much description for a potion prep that Viren didn't even have to perform himself. But now I get it. I see the light. HA. I should make a separate post for this, it's amazing.

Anyway, for reference, the humans who used this serum were called the Oracles of Ophidia, and Ophidia is a taxonomy group that includes all modern snakes. Can you say "creepy ancient snake rites"? I can! Woo!

Viren activates the serum with a spell, but apparently he's never done it before. He's not sure if it's supposed to be hot and bubbly, and he worries that it's been tainted by moonlight.

Oh, I do hope so.

The magic potion hurts, a lot. Viren will do just about anything, to himself or anyone, to do what he believes is necessary. He just risked madness and blindness to find out what this mirror does! Viren. Can you just. Take a nap or something. Have a Snickers.

This chapter gives us a fun clue that I don't remember from the show: when Viren's vision clears and he can see, his reflection has white pupils and the room reflected in the mirror has inverted colors. You know where else has inverted colors?

You know who else got white pupils for a hot second?

Okay, now it makes sense! Viren and Lujanne were both seeing into the realm beyond life and death. Him with his moon magic potion, and her with her moon powers on a full moon night at the Moon Nexus. Which is Very Interesting! Is it a direct hint about Aaravos's location, or just a separate cool detail? Orrr, does it look like a direct hint because Aaravos is actually trapped in the world beyond life and death, but it's actually separate and we'll see something about white pupils again later on?

Viren really does have self-esteem issues, we all picked up on it with his rant at his reflection. He throws a fit when he catches himself wondering if he's actually worthless. In the book version of his tantrum, he shoves the mirror and hurls a candelabra instead of flipping a table. He didn't need to shove the mirror to set the fire, but it's in here. Foreshadowing that perhaps, if push comes to shove, Viren will choose himself over Aaravos? Giving Aaravos time to peek through and see that the coast is clear?

Soren, my boyyyyy. He has a rough night at the Moon Nexus because two sides of him are fighting with each other. He struggles to understand Callum's friendship with Rayla, and he also fantasizes about chopping off Rayla's head. One of these is a pretty ordinary thing to do. The other is Soren's internalization of what he needs to do to gain his father's approval. If he brought his dad a chopped off elf head every week, he'd probably feel a lot more confident because Viren would praise him a lot more.

Okay, okay, omg, is it just me, or does the "Moonshadow Madness" story, as it's told in the book, seem like Soren just doesn't know what a monsterfucker is? He thinks an elf bite puts humans under a spell. But vampires are sexy, and some people want them to do more to them than just bite them. A passionate kiss under the moonlight could look very bitey, especially if one of the participants has horns and you're already culturally trained to hate them. No yeah, I'm already headcanoning an actual human-elf kiss that got misunderstood by an observer long ago.

it's Lujanne isn't it, we all know, because what is a love spell but a sweet soft illusion, I mean how else does she get supplies for her Caldera, I ask you, and also Corvus was totally sent to investigate once and he told Soren at camp what he saw

And then back to magefam angst: Soren pretending that his sister's nose-tapping is stupid, even though he actually thinks it's cool, just because their dad thinks it's stupid. Viren, istg. Let your kids like harmless things. It's so cute that Soren taps his nose back at her, though! Like they have their own sibling code. I hope we get to see the nose tap again, especially now that they've chosen different sides. It could mean so much, that they're not too far apart yet.

Rayla knows what buttery pancakes smell like. I love this. Do Moonshadow elves have butter and pancakes, does Rayla eat a stack of eight giant pancakes in the morning? Orrrr it is just illusion food? I don't care, let Rayla have pancakes! Everyone loves pancakes. Pancakes will save the world. this message brought to you by the fact that I can't eat pancakes rn, send help

I love that Rayla is both sus of the pancakes and hungry, and that combines into a very motivated "I will get to the bottom of this" attitude. She kind of goes into Poirot Mode when she inserts herself into Soren and Ellis's conversation about Ava, explaining about the wolf's illusion leg and segueing into her claim that the pancakes taste sus. Claudia confirms she used dark magic, and Rayla is furious. It's different than the show's version in that it puts Rayla in detective mode, as the only Moonshadow elf in the scene, and boy does she take that role seriously. Also, she doesn't actually swallow the dark magic pancake bite. It ends up on the ground just like Lujanne's grubs from that earlier meal. These poor kids are so nutrient-starved. You guys gotta eat!!

Rayla's determination and prejudices and the fact that she super knows Harrow is dead all dovetail to make her try repeatedly to persuade Callum that Soren and Claudia are Not To Be Trusted. It's nice that the book keeps taking the time to point out that Rayla is Well Intentioned But Flawed, just like Callum and pretty much every other character in the show. No one is Right All The Time, no one Knows More Than Everyone Else.

Callum loving the sound of Claudia's unique voice is so wholesome. When you like someone, it only makes sense that you like all the things about them that they can't change - like the sound of Claudia's voice. Her choices with dark magic, not so much!

Claudia seems to have the same concerns Soren does about Callum's relationship with Rayla, but she comes out and asks him. The inherent possession implied in "your elf" is interesting, though. Elves are not people to Claudia. They're enemies who can be disassembled for the magic inside them. So maybe more like robots than living beings, if she knew what a robot was. Maybe she heard Soren's "Moonshadow Madness" story and realized he totally missed the kissing implications - but she didn't, and now she's genuinely worried that Rayla could kiss Callum under a full moon and enchant him to do her will. Good thing it's only a half moon, then!

Okay, Callum nervously making a puppet hand and then not knowing what to do with his hands and freaking out about itching and moving and pointy elbows is such a ND mood. The sudden stress of knowing that someone else is noticing your existence and maybe you're Not Existing Right, amirite? Ugh, poor Callum.

The Moon Temple! Omg it's so pretty in the description! Made to be beautiful and useful, full of knowledge but also allowing light and life inside (butterflies and vines). Lujanne, when can I move in, please? Also, it's all the more angsty because Lujanne is the only one who gets to see this beautiful place, but it has lots of chairs and shelves and tables, and it was meant to be used by lots of people. :(((

Claudia knows some of the runes on the walls. She isn't in a hurry to copy the rest of them down or anything, either. Her spellwriting is very precise, and she's a skilled mage. Her father would have made sure she was aware of the dangers of drawing sloppy runes, as much as he made her aware of the dangers of doing dark magic wrong. And the whole point of dark magic is that it's easier to learn than primal magic. Claudia supports her dad and their shared knowledge and life path. She's not gonna go nuts over an elf library she can't translate.

Side note: Between Claudia knowing some Moon runes and Viren building a secret passageway and a dungeon and lighting it with the same blue crystals that Lujanne and Ethari use for light--and Claudia exclaiming that she loves ruins--I wonder once more if there are really Moonshadow ruins somewhere in Katolis, which Viren has found and looted. Father-daughter relic hunting trip, maybe while Soren is away at camp? Omgsh that would be so wild!

Callum out here having a Viren moment with his "I feel powerless unless I've got magic that lets me help" vibes. God. I love their complicated mirroring. One of the hard differences between them is that Callum is very sure dark magic is bad because you have to kill stuff and take its power to cast spells, and he doesn't want to be a person who kills and takes like that. The line he walks to be nice to Claudia on their tour of the Cursed Caldera because he likes her, while telling her that he doesn't want to do her magic, like, ever, is so fine that it might as well be a shifting shadow on the ground. It's a very fitting conversation to be having during the half moon, with its tricks and little white lies.

Callum being out of the castle and his comfort zone, having to deal with the fact that the Claudia he loves is not quite the Claudia who's chasing him down across the kingdom, but of the two of them, he's the only one with a problem with this.

They say that if you really want to get to know someone, you should spend time with them outside their comfort zone - in heavy traffic, with a small baby, taking care of a new pet, trying a new skill, following unfamiliar directions, etc. While the castle is familiar territory for them both, Callum's never really found his comfort zone yet, while Claudia is pretty comfortable with her growing skill set. The creepy part starts to kick in when Callum begins to realize that Claudia's comfort zone encompasses a whole bunch of stuff that seems like it should make her uncomfortable... but it doesn't. But that'll be for a future chapter!

[humaudrey]

TheThings is back on their bullshit

(WARNING: LONG RANT AHEAD!!!!)

Anyone know how to delete a YouTube video from someone else's channel (or just their entire channel all together) because...

This

Is SO

I don't even have the words!!!!

Once again, your girl watches one of their videos (several times unfortunately to really analyze this ish) so y'all don't have to and let me tell you, this one is 1,000,000x more infuriating than the one when they belittled Uma to lift Mal and make her better in comparison (link to my post on that here).

I've been recommended this video so many times since the trailers for D3 dropped and when I saw the title, I KNEW I was gonna hate it and low and behold, I DID!

So let's go over their "5 Signs on why Audrey is the real threat", shall we?

#1. Audrey's Outburst

So, their first piece of evidence as to why Audrey's the unfathomable dark force (their exact words) is because of the fact that Audrey yelled no as Ben proposed to Mal, "ruining their beautiful moment". They then explain that it would be "natural for Audrey to be jealous since she is Ben's ex-girlfriend", being perfect okay with the ugly "black, bitter, ex-girlfriend" trope that many have loved to stick onto her in their fanfics (I see y'all 👀), and then compares that moment to when Ben asked Mal to be his date for coronation in D1, stating that she didn't react so strongly before, so why now? EXCUSE ME?! Our girl left the Tourney Field crying that her BOYFRIEND had serenaded another girl with a love song, and not a single person ran after her. She had every reason to be upset then, too. Who's to even say why Audrey's saying no? It could be a terrible misdirect on the trailer's part. The theory that Audrey's possessed is swirling around everywhere, maybe it had already begun to take effect, which is why she's "acting so strangely". D3 hasn't even been released and they're already villainizing her. Figures.

They also use the typical argument that Audrey's into titles and she wants what Mal has, and that she didn't want Chad because he was merely a prince.

She doesn't want Chad because CHAD CHARMING IS A MANIPULATIVE TOOL! Ask Evie! Chad only thinks that being king would get Audrey's attention. You wanna talk about jealousy? Titles? If ant character is jealous of anyone's titles, it's Chad freaking Charming, not Audrey.

#2. The Crown

An obvious piece of evidence is the fact that "Audrey" steals the Queen's crown and Maleficent's scepter from the museum. Whatever, right? They assume that Audrey's faking her slumber when the sleeping spell hits, giving her an alibi. They then have the FREAKING AUDACITY to say that AUDREY, a non magical princess, who has been so anti-magic since D1 (with a grandmother who she loves dearly, that's triggered by the mention of said spells and curses), was the cause of the curse. Their evidence? Well, her family's VERY familiar with it, so it makes sense, right?

NO!!!!

Audrey has NO magic whatsoever!!! Did they forget that? The only reason her family is "so familiar" with the sleeping spell is because THEY ARE VICTIMS OF SAID SLEEPING SPELL!!!! And it's not like she could cast it, because, again, AUDREY HAS NO MAGIC!! If anyone is familiar with a sleeping spell, it's Mal. After all, she almost put Evie under just so she could grab her mother's specter from her.

How dare you take an Innocent family's trauma and turn it around to make them the bad guys?

#3. The Scepter

They continue to say that "Audrey" is to blame for the sleeping spell, rather than Celia, Hades, or Uma because "Audrey" has the specter. And immediately, they suggest that maybe Audrey's not working only. You wanna bet who they hinted Audrey was cooperating with?

If you guessed Uma, you'd be correct. All because Uma's seen laughing in her teaser. WHAT?! So, not only do you attempt to take Audrey's entire character and drag it through the mud, you take ANOTHER black girl's name that you've already tried to ruin and tarnish and say they're working together because they're BITTER?

If they're BITTER, it's ONLY BECAUSE YOUR WHITE, PLAIN, BARNEY COLORED DRAGON FAIRY PRIVILEGED PRINCESS PROSPECT FAVE had treated them HORRIBLY.

They end their third sign with the line "We knew Audrey was a mean girl, but we didn't think she'd stoop so low".

The meanest thing Audrey has ever done INTENTIONALLY, was 1.) Tell Evie that she and her family don't have a royal status in Auradon (to which, she is technically correct) and 2.) Tell Mal that she and Ben wouldn't last because she's "the bad girl infatuation".

Jane should be branded the mean girl because she turns on the one girl that helped her with her rise to popularity (which, granted, was for malicious INTENTIONS and caused EVEN MORE self esteem issues by degrading her).

MAL should be branded the mean girl, if anyone! She's:

Dumped rotten shrimp on her former best friend because she laughed at her

Forced a guy to throw a party since his mother was away, knowing that his abusive mother wouldn't be okay with it

Then locked a girl in a closet full of BEAR TRAPS at said party all because she wasn't invited to her birthday party when they were SIX YEARS OLD

Dumped lye on another former best friend's hair because she DIDN'T WANT TO BE COMPARED TO HER

Told another girl that all she had going for her was her personality, so she needed the wand to make herself pretty

ROOFIED HER SOON TO BE BOYFRIEND INTO DATING HER IN THE FIRST PLACE JUST TO GET A FRONT ROW SEAT AT HIS CORONATION SO SHE COULD STEAL THE WAND

AND TAKES SAID WAND FROM THE GIRL SHE EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATED EARLIER AND POINTS IT DIRECTLY AT AUDREY ALL BECAUSE SHE KNEW THAT MAL WASN'T GOOD FROM THE JUMP

Let's see a video ranking Mal's top five worst moments, huh? There's plenty of those to use for a freaking video.

#4. It's All About Mal (sounds like D3)

They start this point off with: "Audrey has beef with Mal".

AS SHE SHOULD!

They use the fact that Mal stole her boyfriend and her title and their families history with one another, so Audrey has this motivation to ACT OUT AGAINST HER ENTIRE COUNTRY? Not buying it! I won't buy it, especially since both parties seemed to have made amends at the end of D1 when Mal silently curtsies as a lame form of an apology that Audrey gracefully accepts anyway like the future Queen of Auroria would. Audrey's even seen bowing willingly at the end of Set It Off, and is even cheering and dancing with her friends as Mal and Ben share their moment under the fireworks, so clearly, Audrey's not broken up about it in the slightest.

They propose a theory that Audrey's absence in D2 is because she's planning her revenge in Sherwood Forest, and that she doesn't have car troubles because "Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather should be more than capable of handling it, so she's only calling Chad to help her plot her scheme.

Whatever they're smoking, I want it.

Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather can't help Audrey with her car troubles because of the MAGIC BAN!! They needed Chad to help with her car.

And I HIGHLY DOUBT that Disney would plan something so carefully since the entire series is branded with plot holes and inconsistencies anyway, so... 🐸☕

#5. Face Off Time

Their final point states that Mal has to face off against the enemy and they use the first teaser of dragon-Mal blowing fire at "Audrey" on top of the castle, and the card at the end that says "betrayal", that Audrey has betrayed all of Auradon. And since Mal only turns into a dragon against SERIOUS ENEMIES LIKE UMA IN D2, Audrey has to be a REAL THREAT.

Thank God they're probably not making a D4, because if they continue this trend of WOC wronged by Mal as the villain, I'd be scared for Evie...

So, in their words, Audrey and Uma, two of the few black girls in the entire franchise who have every God given right not to like/trust Mal, are Mal's MOST SERIOUS rivals, as if Hades doesn't at ALL pose a threat to Auradon. No, Audrey is So mUcH MOre THreATEninG thAN ThE GOD OF THE UNDERWORLD, SO SHE MUST BE STOPPED!!!

I see you, TheThings, and if I didn't despise your channel before, I hate it that much more now after enduring 5 minutes of hell with you guys.

AND, TO TOP IT ALL OFF THEY CLEARLY SHOW THEIR BIAS OF MAL OVER AUDREY!!

Like, just say you're racist and GO! Audrey's clearly influenced by some magical being, whether it be Hades (WHO WE SEE DOING SOME KIND OF MAGICAL RITUAL WITH HER AND HIS EMBER IN A TRAILER, BUT I GUESS THEY CHOSE TO IGNORE IT FOR SOME REASON 🐸☕), Dr. Facilier, Celia, or maybe even Maleficent. Your reasons for making Audrey the villain are pathetic, and I wish I could block a YouTube Channel so I would NEVER see another video from your channel ever again.

I'm so sick of how "mean" brown girls are treated in media AND fandoms. Why does Audrey get all of his libel while Mal gets away with EVERYTHING? Why are the Cheryl Blossoms, the Quinn Fabrays, the Kitty Wildes, and every other mean girl that Emma Roberts has ever played are so praised and are instant fan favorites while the Josie McCoys, the Santana Lopezes, and the Brees are seen as the bullies when, at the end of the day, they're both different sides of the same damn coin?

And if you don't see a problem with this, then, newsflash, you are the problem!

So, I end my rant with this:

And a short tag list containing: @amityravenclawelf and @coco-rena because I know these two are looking forward to this!

Have a wonderful day everyone!

And I apologize for the typos but I was HEATED!!

[anthropologicalhands]

sleepover weekend: what alternate 'trapped in a car with someone you don't want to be trapped in a car with' combination would you like to see, and what are some of the things that go down?

i actually have a few! mostly involving the same characters over and over again:

Valencia + Nathaniel

Valencia is on her way to San Diego to set up and supervise a venue for a wedding weekend, while Nathaniel is going to the same city for a party with his Stanford water polo teammates are throwing. Much like in canon, Nathaniel’s car has run out of juice and Uber drivers keep cancelling on him. 

Valencia agrees to give him a ride in exchange for being introduced to some of these water polo teammates in the interest of networking. Nathaniel is vaguely annoyed by the inconvenience but also suitably impressed at her entrepreneurship, so he doesn’t protest her terms too much.

He is a little more polite to her than he is to Heather in canon, as Valencia inspires fear and respect, while Valencia is kind of casually disdainful of him, at least until he unexpectedly enters her good graces by commenting on the color scheme of the samples she has in her backseat for the bride…with the exact same criticisms that she had (especially when he correctly identifies the shade - it’s not lavender, it’s periwinkle, which the bridegroom does not seem to get right and Absolutely Does Not match the cowboy theme, like, at all).

When she has an epiphany and makes a detour to pick up some additional items that will make the bride’s taste look a little less reprehensible, he actually assists her in making the selections. 

Rather than just staying long enough to make a casual contact, once her event manager duties are taken care of, Valencia ends up coming to the party as Nathaniel’s plus-one and has a blast, racking up several potential clients while simultaneously cutting them down to size. Nathaniel hangs back and watches, impressed and a little terrified. 

It is a surprisingly mutually beneficial outing, and they part ways both slightly impressed by the other but also rather disturbed by their similarities.

Josh + Nathaniel

Fun fact, I’ve actually kind of wanted Nathaniel and Josh to get stuck in a car together since last year. 

In this scenario, Josh is on his way to a job interview in downtown LA when his car unexpectedly breaks down on the size of the road (he meant to refill the coolant, but he kinda never got around to it…) and Nathaniel ends up coming across him by accident just freaking out. 

Nathaniel, at this time, is trying out his nice person-schtick, and is thus left vulnerable to Josh’s puppy dog eyes (and hates himself for it). 

Josh tries to make small talk, but their one-degree-of-separation makes the whole thing way harder than it has to be, and Nathaniel is ready to give up on the whole thing, except then Josh switches track to talk about how much this interview is freaking him out and he really wants to do well, and because it is less personal and Josh is clearly trying to be more ambitious, Nathaniel can actually put aside his feelings and give decent advice about how to approach the interview. 

Josh comes out of the interview really pumped and tries to give Nathaniel a fist-bump. Nathaniel returns it, feeling ridiculous, but also secretly pleased that it worked.

He is less pleased when he finds out what job title the interview was for.

Josh + Valencia

Josh is doing the truck app thing and picks up Valencia, who has a very fancy wedding shower to throw together in Carpinteria. 

He wants to chat, but Valencia is on-edge and stressed out by the upcoming event (her client is high-maintenance and super important to the company, and Beth is supposed to be with her except she got stranded in the Denver airport and will not be able to make it on time). 

Josh can see that Valencia is upset and tries to talk about other things, anything, to take her mind off it, except because of their history it kind of makes things worse and she ends up erupting at him when they are passing Ventura to please for the love of god stop talking. 

Josh, to his credit, doesn’t take it personally and points out that okay, sure, he totally understands that she’s stressed and not in a good headspace right now, but that’s no reason to take it out on him. Look, they have twenty minutes before they get there –what needs to get done? Can he help?

He helps her with the set-up and in directing the guests to their rightful places and as soon as that is done, steps out of the way so she can do her thing. Valencia is deeply touched by the gesture and apologizes to him for her earlier behavior, offering him free tickets to an event hosted by her company where Quest Crew will be performing. 

On the drive back home, they do a post-mortem on their relationship and come to a better understanding of their different expectations and in what ways they worked and what ways they didn’t.

Valencia + Hector

Valencia is heading to Westwood to meet with another potential client, except Lyft prices are ridiculous and so she asks Heather for a ride – Heather offers up Hector, as while she normally would totally be down for it, franchise manager business came up and she’s gotta go manage some schlubs and Hector has a cousin he can visit at the university. 

Valencia is Not Into It but she also really needs a ride. 

Hector tries to use this time as an opportunity to possibly bond with Valencia for once, and in the process accidentally pieces together that Valencia had a crush on Heather once, though it is firmly in the past (not anymore, and yes, her and Heather already talked about it). 

They agree to never speak of it again and the rest of the car ride is spent in stony silence. 

Hector just adds to the mental checklist he has been keeping of all of the ways Valencia has blown his mind since she broke up with Josh.

sleepover weekend