#also fyi i already know i dont have to shave and i can be a hairy woman if i want

[loyalhorror]

ugh. i spent so long shaving all the hair off my shoulders, chest, arms, tummy etc because i felt like otherwise i just looked like A Man In Women's Clothes TM and it's just so like... i dont want to have to shave all the time to be considered Feminine :( i don't even think about it most of the time, but sometimes i catch sight of myself in pictures etc and i realise how thick my arm hair is and stuff or that i always have 5 o clock shadow no matter how much i shave and it's just. augh.

and ofc most of the time i love my body hair! and my beard doesn't bother me! it's just that when i feel like this--like i want to be perceived as a girl, specifically--i feel like i have to be borderline hairless and UGHHHHH

[rogerchaffee]

i was tagged by @jackswigert to do this quarantine tag game!! thank u gaylen! <3 :)

when was the last time you left your home? hmmm last week i think? to go to the local hardware store to buy stuff for my senior project!

what was the last thing you bought? i bought vintage inspired makeup from bésame cosmetics (beautiful quality fyi!!) and a few bracelets and rings from pura vida bracelets :)

is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed? hmmm id say im pretty relaxed! i still have an online class to deal with as well as government and my strength class but overall i’m doing pretty good!

who are you spending quarantine with? my parents and my younger sister

do you have pets to keep you company? yes! i have two cats and one dog (except our dog doesnt care for anyone who isnt my dad lol)

what are your current responsibilities? doing my classwork!

do you have a room to yourself? yes thank GOD i love my family, but sometimes i just need my alone time lol

town, country, city? ummm technically its an unincorporated community?? but the closest thing would be a town lol

how’s your toilet paper supply? my dad’s in the septic/portable toilet business so we’re fine!

what’s the worst thing you’ve had to cancel? um nothing so far because my family has had nothing planned for the entire year and my school is doing everything we can to have a graduation ceremony for us :)

what’s the best thing you’ve had to cancel? again nothing!

who do you miss the most? honestly i surprisingly miss everyone from school + being able to go to the local restaurants :(

do you have any new hobbies? im becoming very good at making frappes lol

what are you watching the most? from the earth to the moon, band of brothers, and random films (check out my letterboxd!!)

are you still going to work? no :( but its still open, the boss just doesnt want my sister and i coming in for whatever reason

what are you out of? tissues? because i had a cry fest watching band of brothers a couple nights ago LMAO

have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine? no! i was supposed to cut my hair cut before this all started but then the governor put the shelter-in-place so im stuck with crusty hair lol i have thought about shaving it completely but i know i would look horrible because my head is so weirdly shaped LMAO

ummmm i will tag any blog that wants to do this + @good-and-colorful @vintage-wallyschirra @neilarmstrong and @guidanceofficer!! (also if i tagged u and u either dont want to do it or you’ve already been tagged, just ignore this!)

[please-dont-hurt-me]

Mchanzo rec

The cooking cowboy by SadakoTetsuwan (wip at 30 chapters right now, 77046 words, and has a mature rating)

“It had started simple—he just needed a good recipe for matcha cake to surprise Genji on his birthday, and so he’d started clicking around for tutorials on YouTube. But now Hanzo is in deep, and is officially part of ‘The Chuckwagon’; the mostly middle-aged, mostly female fan following of YouTube cooking sensation Jesse McCree, the Cooking Cowboy.How had his life come to this?“

I think I should make it obvious that I love this. I love that Mccree cooks and is so good at it, I love how Hanzo picks up a hobby. I especially love that mishaps happen because of a lawyer email. Genji is both a little shit and a good brother, like a realistic sibling. Hanzo’s anxiety feels kind of similar to my own in a sense.  It’s got good and realistic pacing, having them learn of each other, making the interact, start to flirt, have them meet, have hesitations, meet eachother halfway, and follow through. The only thing I’m not particularily fond of was the Gency but it was minor and was mostly just side fluff which is all right by me. 

One of my favorite parts of this fic is that it has a recipe at the end of each chapter

Hanzo, Denial is Not a River in Egypt by SadakoTetsuwan (complete with 1/1 chapters, 5787 words, and has an explicit rating )

“Jesse likes Hanzo.

He's glad that Hanzo likes him back.

There's only one problem.

Hanzo doesn't think he's gay.”

I remeber one day I was scrolling through the Mchanzo tag when I remebered that this fic existed, for two scenes only. “It’s not gay if the dicks dont touch” from Hanzo and the last bit with Hanzo yelling out the window. I remebered these two scenes and I started franticly scrolling through the pics for that one comic that has a link to this fanfic. Its a good fic but you will have your hands in your palms for most of with how ridicously in denial Hanzo is. 

Just fyi, theres a lot of kinky shit so the explict tag is on there for a reason

A faithful companion by kaijuborn (complete with 1/1 chapters, 10195 words, and has a rating of teen-and-up)

“Hanzo is a wanderer, always on the move after leaving his home and his duties. However, when winter comes and he finds himself in an abandoned town, he decides to stay for a while. A large, three-legged wolf accompanies him, though the animal appears to be more than what first meets the eye.”

This fic is very beutiful. like the begging captures calmness and serenity, the second captures the feeling you have in a warm bed, late at night after drinking tea, and the final beat is the fluttery feeling of attraction and affection and it’s amazing.

Five Times Hanzo Shimada Lost His Composure by leoandlancer (complete with 6/6 chapters, 31856 words, and a Teen-and-up rating)

“When Hanzo first arrived at the Watchpoint, he wasn't expecting anything like Jesse McCree. Already shouldering the responsibility of pursuing his redemption, and trying to reconnect with Genji, Hanzo is determined to make his new arrangement a success. However, the gunslinger has an irritatingly thoughtless way of making Hanzo loose his composure. (Five Times + One fic of Hanzo increasingly loosing his cool over all the little things that come easily to McCree because help me I need more fluff.)”

Okay this is straight sugar and it’s great. Also in other news: Hanzo is super gay.

The 85th Annual King County Bake-Off by venvephe (wip that 4/5 chapters complete, 37995 words, and has a Mature rating)

“It’s October first, and it’s all come down to this.

The cake is perfect. He’s been waiting for this moment all year, since the previous baking competition. This is his chance at redemption, at reclaiming the crown of the best baker in the county. It’s a title only the winner of the county fair can hold. He’s waited a year and spent hours upon hours at work. Early mornings and late nights, scrapped ideas and tons of flour and sugar went into his masterpiece. It’s all led to him to standing here, awaiting the announcement of the winners.

This year, it’s going to be Hanzo. Last year’s winner - his rival, his nemesis - is going down. Hanzo’s not going to let his mortal enemy take the crown for a third year in a row.

What kind of name is Jesse McCree, anyways?”

Hanzo is a very bitter baker who is angry that a “soccer mom” beat him. Hot guy whose his type approaches him at the competions. Turns out “soccer mom” is the hot guy, he wins. Hanzo’s pride is seriously bruised and litterally broke the fucking eggs at the goddman supermarket.... hanzo wtf is wrong with you. I mean this is perfectly in character but god this is why i can relate to mccree more in social situations. He’s such a stubborn guy and this stupid prideful man makes so many mistakes aaaghhhh.

Willing to lie by Ilyen (wip with 6 chapters, 58434 words, and an explict rating)

"It's Thanksgiving. Want to skip that long, insulting conversation about how you're still single? About how your parents really want more grandchildren? Well, look no further!

I am a 28 year old felon with no high school degree and a dirty old van one year younger than me painted like Eddie Van Halen's guitar. I can play between the ages of 20 and 29 depending on if I shave. I'm a line cook and work late nights at a bar. If you'd like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I'm game."

-Jesse McCree probably

A story 110% based on this craigslist ad - http://cdn.foodbeast.com/content/uploads/2014/11/craig.jpg

This is ridicouslous. It pulls no punches with its comedy and its tradgety. Its great in how despite being put in a fucking miserable situation because of the shimada’s, Mccree is still so sweet to them and I live for how all of them interact. I love how shimada family dinamic works (or doesnt) because it show how toxic their enviroment and how they cope in diffrent ways. 

The Hunter and the Demon by WinterOcelot 

This one is a series which is great and I’ve commented on each of the fics in that series. the lore is amazing and so is the relationships. its definately worth the read. 

Here’s the summerary of the first fic:

“A violent creature has been murdering people in the small Japanese village of Hanamura. When nothing is done about it for a whole month, veteran monster hunter Jesse McCree decides it's time for a professional to be called in.What he happens to stumble across is far from what he was anticipating.“

but my favorite of the series’s summary is:

“Jesse gets a call about a vampire coven in Australia. He agrees to investigate, which means another lengthy flight for Hanzo the grumpy (but snuggly) demon.“

Sweet as Honey by Batkatbrown (wip with 12 chapters, 37516 words, and mature rating)

“Maybe.” Jesse’s voice rasped at the end, rising sharply. “But … um… if you did want… you know… a bed would be nice.” Jesse lowered his eyes to the ground, the slightest tremor running down his body. “Mabel’s asleep and your car’s just outside…”

Hanzo’s heart plummeted into his stomach, revulsion coiling into his throat like a living thing. “Jesse.” He paused to draw in a calming breath, fighting to control the beast inside. It raged in his eyes, and he curled his hand into a fist in Jesse’s shirt. The room felt too small, the air sucked away.

“When I take your mouth, you will be begging for it,” Hanzo’s voice growled in his throat. “Not a cheap offer to buy affection or kindness from me,” he drew Jesse down and tilted his mouth to his ear. “But because you can’t stand being parted from me for a single second more.”

It’s a beautiful fic full of realistic veiws of America; assholes, poverty, shitty care of vetrans, ptsd, and unfourte situations. Mccree is scrapping by and the cake he got for his sister’s birthday is smashed by an asshole and Hanzo swoops in and not only buys him a fancy birthday cake but multiple toys.

it seems like a sugar daddy au but it isnt. They might be attracted to each other but it is an exchange of sex for money.

Happiness is a Warm Puppy by murgamurg (complete with 2/2 chapters, 5170 words, and gen rating)

“Hanzo finds a ball of fur that waddles to him immediately.It is -- a puppy. He doesn't know what to do with a puppy.“

Its as pure and sweet as it sounds. Its amazing and theres 101/10 chemistry and I love how deep they are in pining. The last scene is amazing and 100000/10.