#also i left it up to wherecer on their timeline | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jesytr · 8 months

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you don't see color & want to go back to black & white .

it hit her like a nail pushed into a coffin. the needle lunging in deep enough to keep its living corpse trapped within. she could feel a thought stirring deeply within her noggin'. rustling around with other more important thoughts. those like . . . define black and white ?? . . . what did it matter to him ?? . . . and how'd he guess it so easily??

reading her like an educated tutor telling their student how to do mathematics. she didn't enjoy the thought that what he was doing was digging deeper into the parts of her that lacked color. that crept forwards with an afterthought of feeling left behind. that how she saw the world was exactly like a colorful giraffe on a tight rope. eventually they'd either break the rope , or . . .

" ya' know me. " she chewed out her words. though with slight fascination on how he had figured it all out in the span of a couple words. MASKING QUICKLY BEHIND BLUE EYES THAT LOOKED AWAY, " it's not my fault. " she added. her hands flexed and she pulled out a chewable piece of candy. rolling it in her fingers. feeling the texture of the wax paper settling against her fingers.

" ya' don't know this about me, but my dad used ta' kick me around. " eyes went down. no longer presently there. her mind floating away from her body. pulling up out of daydreams she was somewhere else. listening to looney tunes intros on repeat. as if that old man could still reach her from his stay plugged up in Gotham height's hospital bed, " yea . . . real messed up childhood. ma didn't think ta' leave him then , only when it was her turn ta' look black n' blue. "

she pulled the papers off her piece of caramel before plopping it in her mouth. sticking to candy as one of her main habits of nervousness. not quite stable enough to understand maybe it was a coping skill. settling back in her seat. legs crossed. hands beginning to fidget. keeping up a described version of what anyone wanted out of herself. she let out a nervous chuckle. one that pitched almost to the extreme. only laughing at the memories of her father. kept safely locked behind her eyes. she laughed, and laughed before settling on her next words, " Ahh! Too funny! I haven't laughed like that in awhile. maybe next time I'll tell ya' about this boy I knew. he thought he'd hurt me like my old man. " she wiped tears out of her eyes before continuing, " I knocked out a few o' his teeth. "

#jokethur #♦️//: ooc. ( im bent out of shape backwards and forewards. )#hey SO I WAS LISTENING TO MUSIC AND THIS ALL JUST SPILLED OUT OF ME..#to a random HQ playlist...#and wow shes feeling A LOT #Talking about her dad is causing her to dissociate number 1 #number 2 she eats sweets when shes feeling nervous though i headcanon that when she becomes a criminal she drops this habit #number 3 she can tend to laugh when shes talking about things that are dark as a coping skill / when shes feeling nervous or scared or -#any high grade emotion #it kindve adds that “ clown like persona ” to her character #also her dad is still alive but he has to be hooked up to machines in a gotham hospital bed and her mom isnt in the picture #i was thinking of doing something WITH her mother like maybe shes living it up in Miami ir sonewhere but idk her backstory is based off my -#own hc's.#also i want to hug HQ here shes too precious;-;#also i left it up to wherecer on their timeline #this could be before arkham or while shes his therapist or after!#if shes still a therapist to him here id say she wouldve had to do something about the arkham cameras in her office at that point?#otherwise put it on the timeline for wherever you feel the most INSPIRED. :DDD

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