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#and wow shes feeling A LOT
jesytr · 8 months
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you don't see color & want to go back to black & white .
it hit her like a nail pushed into a coffin. the needle lunging in deep enough to keep its living corpse trapped within. she could feel a thought stirring deeply within her noggin'. rustling around with other more important thoughts. those like . . . define black and white ?? . . . what did it matter to him ?? . . . and how'd he guess it so easily??
reading her like an educated tutor telling their student how to do mathematics. she didn't enjoy the thought that what he was doing was digging deeper into the parts of her that lacked color. that crept forwards with an afterthought of feeling left behind. that how she saw the world was exactly like a colorful giraffe on a tight rope. eventually they'd either break the rope , or . . .
" ya' know me. " she chewed out her words. though with slight fascination on how he had figured it all out in the span of a couple words. MASKING QUICKLY BEHIND BLUE EYES THAT LOOKED AWAY, " it's not my fault. " she added. her hands flexed and she pulled out a chewable piece of candy. rolling it in her fingers. feeling the texture of the wax paper settling against her fingers.
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" ya' don't know this about me, but my dad used ta' kick me around. " eyes went down. no longer presently there. her mind floating away from her body. pulling up out of daydreams she was somewhere else. listening to looney tunes intros on repeat. as if that old man could still reach her from his stay plugged up in Gotham height's hospital bed, " yea . . . real messed up childhood. ma didn't think ta' leave him then , only when it was her turn ta' look black n' blue. "
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she pulled the papers off her piece of caramel before plopping it in her mouth. sticking to candy as one of her main habits of nervousness. not quite stable enough to understand maybe it was a coping skill. settling back in her seat. legs crossed. hands beginning to fidget. keeping up a described version of what anyone wanted out of herself. she let out a nervous chuckle. one that pitched almost to the extreme. only laughing at the memories of her father. kept safely locked behind her eyes. she laughed, and laughed before settling on her next words, " Ahh! Too funny! I haven't laughed like that in awhile. maybe next time I'll tell ya' about this boy I knew. he thought he'd hurt me like my old man. " she wiped tears out of her eyes before continuing, " I knocked out a few o' his teeth. "
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bacchuschucklefuck · 28 days
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typical tavern scene
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bixels · 6 months
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Taking the current topic as an excuse to ask you to tell me all the reasons you love Rarijack. Your art for the ship is so sweet and intimate I'd love to hear any in depth thoughts you have.
Breathes in.
I think what makes their dynamic really strong is that they have opposing personalities but aligned values. It's deeper than just "opposites attract." Rarity's fancy, prissy, and femme while Applejack's modest, rough, and "masculine." But both value hard work (to the point of being workaholics), their families (both have guardianship over their little sisters), running successful businesses, and eventually each other. Their relationship can be boiled down to, "Despite our differences/disagreements, I still like you because we value the same things."
We see their relationship develop so much. In the first season, they can't stop bickering about surface-level differences. By season four, they still bicker, but will mend their relationship because they can't help but do nice things for each other. In Trade Ya, they start off arguing over personality differences (Applejack likes old junk and Rarity likes useless crap). Then they pivot and start arguing that they value their relationship more than the other. In the end, they mend things by sacrificing their needs and buying each other a gift. Even if they don't understand it, they know it'd make the other happy. And that's all that really matters. It's a genuinely sweet moment that shows how arguing can be healthy and necessary for relationships to strengthen.
We even see them dropping their hang-ups about each others' personalities. In Made in Manehattan, when Rarity runs off in dramatics about someone's fashion, AJ doesn't roll her eyes or scoff, she smiles. Oftentimes, their conflicts are very common domestic conflicts romantic couples face. Applejack's Day Off is about a woman's inability to balance work and life and find time to properly spend with her partner, causing her partner to feel neglected.
By season seven, they're actively participating in each others' interests. Any problems or conflicts that arise are dealt with, and they come out the other end stronger and closer. In Honest Apple, AJ pretty much spells out why their relationship works so well: even though she doesn't understand fashion, she can recognize and appreciate how much work it takes and wants to respect that. When she realizes her mistake in the episode, AJ goes above and beyond to fix things and apologize to Rarity. They care about each other so much.
The two go out of their way, sacrificing their personal desires and beliefs and doing things they normally wouldn't, to make the other happy. That's just love.
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There's Simple Ways, where AJ gets stuck in an unwanted love triangle between Rarity and her hipster crush. And her frustration and anger can be so easily interpreted as AJ finding herself in a terrible position; the girl she loves wants another man, and that man wants her.
I dunno. I've always had a preference for opposites attract ships, but Rarijack's stuck with me like a brain worm because they have the perfect chemistry. The way they show they care, or do things for each other, I've always read it as the truest representation of romance in the show.
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myokk · 1 month
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🥺
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manichewitz · 2 months
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i dont think yall understand how floored i was when i found out that the interview with the vampire books are actually incredibly erotically gay for real and not just light queercoding or fan's gay ships?? bc this changes everything. i had always assumed anne rice hated fanfic authors for making her male characters fuck, but no, she just wanted to be the only author making her male characters fuck
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lulady030 · 1 year
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Gotta stay positive, right ?! Smiles all around !
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sskk-manifesto · 2 months
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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oneluckydragon · 1 year
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We'd both been so excited for it-- to change, to grow stronger, to pass another life-changing milestone on our adventure together. But after I evolved, it took weeks before Sora could even bring herself to look me in the eyes. It went unsaid between us, poisoning our hearts like a cold, bitter curse and haunting every intake of breath. Although, the worst of it all... was that even without words, we both knew why it hurt so much.
Like some sick joke, I had become the spitting image of him.
Ya'll know that feeling when you [Hero] try to evolve into a Leafeon to be closer in spirit to the best friend you lost [Grovyle] because you miss him so much it physically aches, but instead you end up looking like the guy you trusted/adored that betrayed/tried to kill you and your girlfriend? Cause damn it hurts.
Anyways ever since I replayed EOS and evolved at Luminous Spring I've had thoughts about what Sora's reaction would be to Echo's evolution into Umbreon. And lemme tell you that it's an emotional roller coaster. To say that Sora has complicated feelings about Dusknoir is an understatement, and Echo isn't so happy about it either since she had put her faith in him. They've got a lot of trauma to heal.
But to add to that, I like to write about my girls in my spare time when I'm not drawing cause it's fun, so maybe I'll post some little blurbs sometime if anyone is interested?? Hm. Yeah might do that eventually, we'll have to see.
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avephelis · 9 months
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every time someone mischaracterises jay ferin as the therapist friend a fairy loses its wings btw. put some respect on her emotionally-constipated ass.
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piracytheorist · 24 days
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Yor worrying that her disappearing because of her job would mean she betrayed the Forgers vs Yor realizing that the risk is worth protecting them.
Grey colours, the Forgers as she first met them having their backs at her with empty, disappointed faces, vs bright, warm colours, the Forgers as she now knows them facing her directly and smiling at her.
She starts the story feeling like an outcast, fearing that no-one, not even her brother, will accept her as she is. That people will turn their back on her, and her life will continue being colourless and lonely.
Then her life fills with colour, with people who will face her head-on and accept her. She develops into confidence that the Forgers care for her and is reminded that even if she ever has to leave because of her job, the knowledge that she protects innocent people...
and that this work of hers will be acknowledged...
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... is enough to give her the strength to carry on.
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angy-grrr · 3 months
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i understand ppl getting disappointing over today's ep, even tho I was expecting something like that it still look me by surprise too. But honestly, we got spoiled -we have been for a long time.
It means a lot to me the parallels between ep 7 season 7 and the memories ep where Izuku can't use black whip against Katsuki. Its so, so crazy. In this chat about romance, Midoriya gets extremely embarrassed over the concept of being someone's boyfriend, and Present Mic (one of the common narrators of the show) adds a little build up: he is really amazing and has earned great achievements, but for all of his triumphs, he is still, just a damn nerd.
He is still Izuku, that awkward kid whose childhood friend considers too nerdy to see or understand concepts like romance, boyfriend, and him getting involved in them. This call back to Katsuki is unnecessary, even more so considering he is not the narrator, but still, Present Mic considered the best way to describe him is to use the words his closest person says. With Izuku getting confessed, and him explaining what he considers to be a boyfriend's role, Katsuki's presence is still part of the scene. But what's even more interesting is the way he is also linked to the other part of the scene: what Izuku thinks about admiration and love.
When the word boyfriend comes out of Himiko's mouth is like his whole brain can just think about cheesy, typical movie stuff (thats what a boyfriend is, right? someone you hold hands with, share crepes and go to the amusement park with, right?) instead of feelings. Idk about how different the idea of love is in Japan compared to the one im used to, but Izuku seems to not know that, to be a boyfriend, first there are usually some feelings that make you want to become that -affection, curiosity, even love*. That word, boyfriend, is associated with many concepts, and instead of asking "boyfriend?! Like someone who makes you feel butterflies in your stomach?!" he focuses first on actions the boyfriend does -boyfriend is the one you hold hands with, the one who you share crepes with, the one who goes with you to the amusement park**.
But once Himiko explains her own idea of love and admiration he gets to focus on the latter part of the conversation, he does get what it feels like, but not like her. When its not associated with romance, its almost like he is allowed to express more freely about his emotions and opinions about love; he actually reveals some interesting stuff.
So first of all, Izuku seems to start thinking about it more deeply when Himiko explains that to her, being a couple means becoming the person she likes. That immediately reminds him of his own feelings towards his mentor -he does want to be like him, he gets that satisfaction, but not how that could be romance duh lmao, and he is the one who brings up the admiration aspect. He doesnt see it as a couple thing, or a romantic feeling, because he immediately associates it to pure admiration.
"Yeah I want to be like All Might my biggest idol, so I get how great it is to try it". That's his way of connecting to her, creating a bridge of understanding each other's perspectives -"I get this part, but I cant understand how you could not want to share the feelings of the person you love".
Then he follows it with "I dont want to hurt the person I love".
So, for Izuku, there's something more going on than just being completely clueless about everything -he does have an idea about what he wouldnt want to do to the person he loves, and an idea about what he does.
When he focus on the boyfriend or couple side, he gets all flustered, because those are embarrassing topics, and immediately jumps into a general, superficial idea about what those mean. Because... he doesnt get it when is described with those names -those names are related to things that look so unapproachable for a nerd like him. However, when he has something he relates to ("becoming the person... oh! like the admiration I have for All Might!"), he has a chance to actually explain his feelings and opinion about her confession.
Once this reaches an emotion he does understand, he spills how he wants to share the feelings the person he loves has. Which is... not that different from what Himiko feels. After all they both want to be closer to the people they love by having something the person has in common*** He also wants that kind of connection on a deeper, emotional level, rather than the superficial description he gave before; he is more free to express this when he can ignore the big name and connotation "couple" or "boyfriend" has.
When Izuku thinks about love without thinking about Love, he has an idea of what comes natural to him: to get closer to the person. Maybe thats why he doesnt think about Tenko the way Ochako does with Himiko -he feels empathy for his past and terrible present, currently he feels guilt over not being able to do more, reach out sooner, save... but he doesnt talk about feelings he wants to share with him like that. So, it makes sense thats how he views it.
For him, love is not only understanding the other, is sharing feelings of love. And the other key to Izuku's love is one Himiko cant ever reach: not wanting to hurt the person he loves.
This paralleling extra content shouldn't be that important, but considering Izuku is unable to use black whip when remembering Katsuki's sacrifice to him... doesnt it sound relevant?
Izuku confesses he doesnt want to hurt someone he loves, and it parallels a scene of him being... scared of hurting Kacchan the way AFO did, and deciding not to -whether it was consciously or not, black whip decided to not attack him.
He can train with him perfectly okay until his own quirk reminds him of Kacchan hurting.
Am i crazy? EDIT: alright I think I see some stuff about Izuku’s idea of love, and this will be the short, quirk version of this whole thing:
Admiration and wanting to be like someone, solely, it’s not enough for Izuku to consider it love —that’s what he does when it comes to All Might, and he knows he doesnt feel that way.
However, sharing the same feelings and not wanting to hurt them, thats way more important to him when it comes to love. Those, at least right now, are cores to his perspective of love.
He rejects Himiko's love because it has nothing to do with his from his point of view: she wants to hurt the people she loves, the biggest deal breaker, she doesnt share the same feelings as him, and she also considers imitation and admiration good enough to be considered love.
*it doesnt have to be romantic love, as platonic and queer platonic love and relationships can also start and continue to date and be wonderful for the people involved. Im adding this just to clarify there are multiple possibilities for a feeling of love, and its completely okay.
You can also date anyone for any reason really, including being confused by your feelings, expectations, social and peer pressure, etc., but im talking about what in theory would be the best case scenarios.
** This is in case we take into consideration the original meaning from the manga. In the anime, if the phrasing is actually different in Japanese as the subs suggest, then it would be "what a couple does".
*** The main issue that separates them is the abuse Toga has suffered that led to her seeing herself as a unlovable monster. For her, deep inside, she has to become the other person in order to be loved, bc she sees the goodness and precious things in others, and the only way she could ever be that... is if she literally stops being herself AAAAA MY POOR BABY
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dulcewrites · 1 year
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I think the most ironic thing about how Alicent’s motherhood gets used against her is that the logic that everything wrong with the targtowers is somehow her fault, completely goes out of the window when people talk about Rhaenyra’s parenting. Everything they do is a reflection of how terrible, awful, and disgusting Alicent is as a mother. But jace and luke’s behavior/actions somehow aren’t reflections of the pitfalls Rhaenyra has as a mother.
Aegon being a rapist is just Alicent fault. Aemond’s anger and resentment is just Alicent’s fault (some people even blame Alicent for him losing his eye yes I’ve seen it). Helaena’s adversion to touch (despite the fact it’s clear phia made an acting choice to play Helaena as neurodivergent plus we literally get scenes of Helaena letting Alicent touch her) is all Alicent’s fault. The rotting, neglectful rapist they all have for a father has absolutely nothing to do with that. And then the goalpost moving. If Alicent doesn’t admonish and totally hate Aegon for being said rapist, she’s a rape apologist who doesn’t want any woman to have rights (a crazy thing to say about a literal victim of rape herself btw). But if she slaps him, she’s an abusive cunt.
But jace and luke, more specifically luke, having no regard nor remorse for bullying then disabling someone is *check notes* seen as cute and normal??? It is apparently not Rhaenyra using the same tactics her father did. So much guilt about the position you have put your children in that in response you will just let them do whatever. This sort of perpetual cycle of gaslighting and withholding information being painted noble or nurturing.
Then when you bring up that argument of how Rhaenyra puts her kids in danger just by having them (much like how people say the same about Alicent despite that not even being her choice), you get hit back with ‘so you wanted her rape her gay husband’ which is like ??? how did you get there lmao. It’s wild, but completely on brand for a fandom that picks and chooses based on who they like, that people can emphathize with the position Rhaenyra was put in because of her gender. But the child bride who literally just has her children to cling to is the worst mother to ever mother.
The sooner people realize that Alicent and Rhaenyra are working up the same rigid rules and crushing pathology of patriarchy, the better off we will all be. The only difference is the way they push back against those structures. Someone like Rhaenyra, a dragon riding princess, can maneuver very differently compared to someone like Alicent. Both are going to fuck up and make decisions that put people in danger/hurt people’s feelings bc they are playing a game that has been rigged for them to lose. So why are the blonde ones allowed more grace than everyone else 🫤
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elviraaxen · 1 month
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I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year
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Fernando Chair Lore: 2013 edition(no lore, just pics haha):
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Everyone Introduced in Dimension 20's Fantasy High: Junior Year episode 20 (finale)
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#dimension 20#dimension 20 spoilers#d20 introductions#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#d20 fhjy#WOW dang. what a season#i'm glad the episode didn't end on like. as bleak of a note as it could have for the ratgrinders#being literal teens that were taken advantage of by adults that groomed them and all#was honestly REALLY obsessed by the implications of like how kipperlily's shatterstar was willing and the rest of her friends' weren't.#like there are so many fucking ways that could be interpreted#was she the last to go? was she the first? did she KNOW? was she complicit in it? did she do it by her own hand? what HAPPENED there?#i'm so obsessed. like holy fuck#also this is something vague i was hoping for but like- in the combat when ally said they wanted to go for oisin after he died at first#i was thinking of something like. that they might revive the ratgrinders whose shatter stars already left to have them rejoin the fight#on THEIR side for the purposes of saving the others? but that didn't happen and went on otherwise#i can't. fucking believe. that we got fucking blimey'd AGAIN. fucking insane#and now K2 canonically exists in the real world#fig has an army of inevitable automatons hunting her. fabian has a literal unborn nemesis. adaine has a wizard mom to kill.#senior year problems..... honestly i feel like the high level play this season was really fun to watch#and i think i'd really enjoy seeing a senior year too#what a season. i was IMMENSELY enjoying it for the majority of it that like Starkly dropped around eps 18 and 19 that left a bad taste#but i don't know. i feel like the finale managed to salvage some of that good that i'd really enjoyed over the course of the season#what a ride though‚ I did enjoy it a lot#see y'all next season!!
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erwinsvow · 5 months
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what would shy!reader’s room look like?
hi!!! tysm for asking <3 i know @princessbrunette did a post for deer readers room and i honestly see a lot of shy reader / myself in deer reader so this vibe is a little similiar to that !
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for her bedroom i see something like this !! lots of quilts and blankets, i feel like she spends a lot of time in her room so it's her haven and really cozy. to me her vibe gives grandma's cottage
but i picture big windows and a comfy bed she can lie in all day if rafe doesn't specifically come get her or give her a reason to get up. she probably has a kitten or a sleepy older dog who will curl up right next to her while she reads in bed.
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shes a kook and im projecting because i love those little window seating areas so maybe one of those where she can read and look out the window !! lots and lots of books! this bookshelf situation reminds me of my own room though hers is probably overflowing with her parents and rafe bankrolling. cute vanity situation for getting ready! i think she has an eye for collecting vintage things
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collage wall moment !! shy reader is the type who can't ever get rid of birthday cards, notes people scribbled to her, gift tags with 'to and from' in pretty handwriting, postcards and ticket stubs. a lot of is stored in a memory box but i bet with rafe's stuff she starts a little wall like this ! he probably stares at it when he visits and feels dizzy at the emotions
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trinket dishes ! scattered all throughout, filled with anything and everything. she'll be trying to get ready and running around trying to figure out where the watch rafe got her is and there's a million dishes to look through. hes like 'we're gonna be late do u even know what time it is?' she's like no i can't find my watch !
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finally records ! the photo on the left is the exact set up for my record player. as we know they are expensive jawns but rafe def bankrolls her addiction to buying pretty colored lana releases. her ideal sunday is listening to music and reading in bed while curled up next to rafe. shes a simple girl
hope this wasn't too obnoxiously long ! i loved making this. staring around my room realizing i just projected my entire room + personality onto her. sorry girl
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