#also i literally did some indoor dishes today but okay i guess

[iicraft505]

someone kill me, just straight up put me down. my annoying former coworker returned as a volunteer and he annoys me under the best of circumstances but. literally I just said that I don't do dishes that often (meaning not often enough for it to have fucked up my name tag), and he was like "I think it's weird that you would admit to not doing your job" like bitch that's not what I fucking said but okay. And then I was like well I do them sometimes when it's needed and he was like "um..." in that "no you don't way" and said "there were a ton of dishes in the sink when I got here" yeah because I was fucking taking care of birds all day, dipshit! I was feeding our incubator birds every 30 minutes, I did literally all of our outdoor dishes (there was a mountain when I got in today!), I helped catch two very full adult bird outdoor flight cages for weighing and release, I went to release some hatchling turtles, and did all the other miscellaneous cleaning tasks that pile up when feeding hummingbirds. Sorry I didn't have a spare second to do the fucking inside dishes!

[ego-driven-one-wing-angel]

Send a number | Answers

Thanks again for 250 followers!!!

What’s one animal you wish you could have as a pet but can’t?

A penguin. I love them so much.

Favorite thing to wear to sleep?

Sometimes I wear one of those “drug rugs” or baja hoodies. With shorts. And sometimes knee high socks. I HATE pajama pants. So if I’m cold I find alternatives. 

What song really gets you going?

Right now, Drinking Alone by Carrie Underwood. But usually Tranz by Gorillaz.

Where do you usually eat your meals?

At my dining table or in the family/living room with my mom.

Favorite meal: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

BRUNCH

Most embarrassing habit?

Sometimes I’ll pick my nose at the most inconvenient times like a child.

Chocolate or fruity candy?

Chocolate

Soft or hard tacos?

When I ate meat regularly, soft, with carne asada. 

Worst way to break up a fight?

Throwing a pan at them? Dude I don’t know. Wrestle them to the ground? I feel like either of those are terrible.

Best thing to say in an elevator of strangers?

“You’re all probably wondering why I gathered you all here today.”

What color/design are your bedsheets?

Teal. And my comforter is a black/white diamond pattern.

Any hidden talents?

I was a dancer for roughly nine years. So I’m pretty good at that.

Favorite thing to drink out of (mug, glass, etc.)?

My Star Wars Luke Skywalker lightsaber water bottle. 

Socks or bare feet around the house?

Bare feet man. Those who wear shoes in the house are weak and will not survive the winter.

 Favorite board game?

Clue!

Do you sleep with the fan on or off?

I don’t even own a fan.

Heat on or keep it cold with lots of layers?

Heat at 67.5 and a sweater. Perfection.

Do you sing in the shower?

Who doesn’t?

Favorite song to belt out at the top of your lungs when you’re alone?

Tranz by Gorillaz. All time favorite song EVER.

Last thing you cried about?

Watching Zack die YET AGAIN in Crisis Core. I don’t think I’ve ever watched that scene WITHOUT crying.

At what age did you first have alcohol?

15ish. Wine.

Relationship status?

Single

What’s the most amount of money you’ve spent on a single item of clothing?

249$ A Guess coat that I absolutely adore.

What do you typically wear to formal events?

A modest dress. Heels. And a Louis Vuitton bag to match.

Favorite memory?

Probably almost getting arrested with my friends back when I was 17. We were at a closed park, after hours, past curfew, and it was like 3 am. We bought 64 tacos from Jack in the Box and pigged out in the venue. Super rad.

Gum or breath mints?

Gum

Favorite shoes?

Probably my Guess sneakers. I don’t wear them often, but I love the design.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My chubbiness. I’m not fat per say. But I’m not skinny either, but I want to look more like a classic, 1950′s pinup model more than anything.

What is the natural state of your hair?

My hair has very soft curls. Naturally, there more like “beach waves”

Have you ever had braces?

YES. WORST YEARS OF MY LIFE

Most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

Ghost hunting. I was illegally trespassing, and the building was real sketchy. 

Most embarrassing thing your parents have caught you doing?

I’m just an embarrassment through and through. What haven’t they caught me doing. But I guess writing porn is a close first.

Last time you had an orgasm?

I’m a virgin who has never experienced anything remotely sexual. 

Celebrity crush(es)?

Sebastian Stan, Bill Skarsgard, Sam Claflin, Karl Urban, Sebastian Stan

Windows or Mac?

I’ve never owned a Mac, so I’m biased when I say Windows.

How old were you when you learned to ride a bike?

Six, seven? I was still quite young.

Makeup or natural?

MAKEUP

What color do you wear the most?

I wear a lot of neutral colors like gray.

Favorite season?

Winter.

Umbrella or rain coat?

Umbrella.

Have you ever fallen out of a tree?

No

First car you ever owned?

A 2002 Toyota. Super old, and the chip was painting off. My trunk also broke. Oil leak. Y’know, a traditional first car.

What time do you usually go to bed?

Anytime between 11-1 am.

Are you a competitive person?

Yes.

Least favorite color?

Orange.

First pet you’ve ever owned?

A cat :)

Sweet or salty?

Sweet

Favorite pasta dish?

Ravioli 

Favorite kind of chips?

Cheetos

Talk about something you’re passionate about.

Writing. I love being able to put my ideas on paper, let my thoughts and emotions run free in a world where I have to act a certain way. I can be anyone while writing!

What are some of your hobbies?

Writing

Drawing

Watching too much television

puzzles

Caffeine? If so, what kind?

I’m a tea gal. But I LOVE coffee. Especially mochas and caramel. With extra pumps of espresso. Hell yeah.

Favorite kind of pizza?

Ranch and Chicken or just plain cheese.

Fast food or sit-down restaurant?

Sit-down

Lots of acquaintances or a handful of close friends?

I love having a large circle, but I choose my best friends wisely. I only have about two or three of those and they’re the one’s I keep close to my heart.

Something that ruins your appetite?

This is a bit more dark, but my dad and I don’t bond outside video games. And he’s the type that believes it’s his way or no way no matter what. So if you get him angry he acts like a two-year-old who just got a toy taken away, and will try to push your buttons until you’re the same way. I saw the signs years ago, but whenever his anger is targeted at me I just don’t want to eat. I write instead. 

Favorite labels about you?

As in names? It’s near 1 am while writing this so I might have just gone stupid. But I love it when my friends call me cutie. Or my good friend Charlie calls me Smarties. And he’ll pull out a smartie from his pocket when he does it. I also get called Reid, as in Spencer Reid, a lot.

Are you a religious person?

Yes. I try to be at least. I’m Christian.

Night out with a bunch of friends in public or night in with one friend having deep conversations?

Night out. I spend too much time indoors with one friend as is.

What size shoe do you wear?

9

Favorite thing about yourself?

My confidence, or my keen fashion sense. 

Have you ever told someone you loved them first?

No.

Have you ever had sex on the first date?

No.

Heroes or villains?

Villains. (Sephiroth, Bucky Barnes, Loki, etc.)

Favorite fruit?

Pomegranates. 

Least favorite fruit?

Bananas. I’ll eat them, but there are a lot better choices honestly. 

Favorite vegetable?

Broccoli

Least favorite vegetable?

Brussels sprouts

How many plates can you eat at a buffet?

About a good three. First is salad. Second is fruit. Third is desert. 

Favorite dessert?

Ice cream. Bubble gum flavor is my favorite!

Do you play any sports?

Nope.

Age you learned how to swim?

Seven or eight.

Tell a funny story.

Maybe this is just funny to me, but earlier today my cat was trying to lick her coat but she set her front paw on a piece of paper and anytime she bent over to lick herself she slid and she would have to readjust herself. She did this like four times before she decided to move.

What’s one interesting thing about your culture?

As someone who is a part of the Navajo tribe, something neat is the more fat you have on your bones the more people respect you because they believe you have money.

What’s one annoying thing about your culture?

We can’t touch cold-blooded animals. It’s said if you touch the scales of a snake, or even breath in the same air, you’ll get the same skin as them.

What job would you be terrible at?

Accounting. I can’t do math to save my freaking life.

Would you rather watch a TV show or a movie?

TV shows.

What’s your favorite compliment to give?

“Cute Outfit!” or “Love the Hair!” You have no idea how many people light up on either of these, male/female/nonbinary. Looking good is a happiness found across all the spectrums. 

What’s your favorite compliment to receive?

“Cute hair.” Or “Love your makeup/nails.” 

Has your opinion changed on something recently?

I can’t remember. Like I said, it’s close to bedtime where I’m at and boi, it’s hard to concentrate right now.

Do you always order the same thing at a restaurant or order something different each time?

I order the same. 

What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?

This sounds awful, but I’ve always wanted to try ecstasy. I have buddies who’ve taken it and say, if you do it right, the first time is pretty bomb. 

If you could learn to do anything right now, what would it be?

Singing. I can’t carry a tune.

Favorite physical feature about yourself?

My eyes.

Least favorite physical feature about yourself?

My wide hip/waist ratio. If my waist was thinner I wouldn’t mind as much.

What’s one amazing thing you did that nobody was around to see?

OKAY. I scored a strike on Wii bowling while i was on the toilet one time. Two rooms away and not even looking at a screen. Just using my heart and determination and it was SUPER COOL AND I WISH PEOPLE COULD HAVE SEEN THOSE SKILLS.

If you could change your height, would you?

Yes. Everyone is a good foot taller than me. So I would most definitely want a few more inches.

What’s something you would rate 10/10?

Final Fantasy 7 Remake’s Character concept for Sephiroth. The eyes, the height, the hair. WOW. In love.

Heels or flats?

Heels

What’s something you wish you had more knowledge about?

Politics. I want to get more involved but every time I do I get so confused.

Would you want to be famous?

I wouldn’t mind. But I value my private life.

What’s something you would get arrested for?

Well I already almost got arrested for eating tacos in a closed park at 3 am. So maybe that.

What’s your spirit animal?

A cat. 

What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

The fact that I graduated high school. I was developing anxiety and literally had no idea what the frick was happening with me and no one told me what it was. So I ended up skipping loads of school for that reason. 

Are you the type to have an organized mess, or no mess at all?

Organized mess. Or just a mess. 

Do you tend to make decisions based on the past, present, or future?

The future.

Are you a planner or a more spontaneous person?

Planner. I hate when things are sprung on me last minute. I have to emotionally prep up before a social event so 5-10 business days are needed.

Thoughts on the oxford comma?

I was taught to use it, but it’s literally so useless? I found myself either not using it or just doing it on instinct. So in one story you could probably find multiple instances where I use it and where I don’t use it, maybe in the same paragraph. I just do whatever fits that moment I guess.

What do you hope never changes?

My squad. I love them to pieces and it would break my heart if at some point they’d want to split.

How would you celebrate your 100th birthday?

Something extremely dangerous like skydiving or zip lining across a canyon. 

[loulougoingsolo]

Mutated wheats & homeopathic jalapeños?

I've been feeling a little surreal the past few days, watching the corona virus pandemic develop. I have asthma, and it doesn't mix well with stuff like this. But I guess, staying indoors for a year, waiting for a vaccine, is not a very viable option either.

But on a happier note, when the world is in turmoil, at least one thing is constant: GMM. Today, Rhett and Link are trying the snack which tastes most like actual jalapeños.

I wonder if someone has been commenting on Rhett's voice, because for a reason unknown, he has his most serious news anchor tone on today. Whatever he has going on, I love how Link's ears perk up and he starts to grin when Rhett starts talking - or more accurately, reading his teleprompter with a hilariously unreactive tone.

"Bring out the jalapeño."

It's been a while since I bought fresh jalapeños myself, my go-to heat provider is a bottle of garlic sriracha - but jalapeños aren't that hot, really. But bringing them out seems to help Rhett get over his news anchor voice.

I don't know if it's the heat of the jalapeños, or if Rhett just is in a Mood today, but his mini rant about the rules of the episode is hilarious. And this is one of those episodes that make me crave some kind of snacks myself. We don't have those odd little cracker rolls (Combo - a combo of what?), but I wouldn't mind a bag of kettle chips right about now. Foldies, or unfolded, as long as they're crunchy.

Link is known for preferring his chips folded, so it's very generous of him to give a foldie to Rhett - even if he almost dinks it to crumbs a second later. 😂

Okay, someone has definately been giving Rhett "feedback" on things - he now goes on to give a lecture on the correct spelling and pronounciation of jalapeño, the n has a ~ on top. (Fun fact: in Finland, nobody says jalapeño correctly, we even say the j in the beginning wrong.)

I assume this little rant is the reason for the title of the video being misspelled. And all this time, while Rhett is being particularly annoyed by everything, Link is quietly focusing on the chips.

After the hawt slim jims, the guys try jalapeño peanut butter. Rhett seems to have trouble facing a jar of peanut butter for the first time in a while, swirls and all - and I love that Link is teasing him about it. For reals, though, I'd imagine jalapeño peanut butter could work in a savoury dish, but who in their right mind would pay $13 for a small jar of peanut butter? (One which apparently has homeopathic levels of jalapeños in it.)

I wonder how many lawsuits Snyder has gone through to add all those notes and warnings on their pretzel pieces? Also, why pretzel pieces, and not actual pretzels? Is this a byproduct of a whole pretzel business?

I had no idea One Day at a Time was a remake, until today! I've only seen the new version - but I assume, the og version also had a Schneider, not a Snyder. But Buffy did have an actual Snyder...(How often is it healthy to rewatch Buffy per year? In fact, I don't think I've watched it in 2020s yet.)

My mom didn't find canned meats until later in life, so I didn't experience spam trauma as a kid. Also, our local canned meats are not quite as disturbingly homogenous as Spam. And I think they smell more like dog food.

Ok, the the most jalapeño-like snacks of the day are the Kettle chips. I still don't have them, and I still have the craving. Darn it. It's too late now.

In More, the guys are joined by Chase and Davin for a game of eating hot gummies. I feel very accomplished for actually knowing what coche verde means before Chase gave the translation. But Link's translation was much better, and I love how he probably realized what he was saying mid-sentence, and almost blushed.

I didn't expect to hear another mention of Buffy in today's episodes, but it happened. I can't believe they didn't know Allison Hannigan! Now I really want to know if Link's ever watched Buffy, or is his idea of Sarah Michelle Gellar in all leather something he's learnt by proxy. (Also, I feel someone should write a Link Neal x Buffy fanfic - unless he's already written it himself. He could replace Spike. Or Buffy. They both wore a lot of leather...)

Having been a 90s kid who grew up in the same household with a skateboarder (I even had a skateboard myself for a second, but I have no balance, so I just have huge respect for the sport), I have to agree with Link when he says Tony Hawk is cool as hell. He is a literal living legend, and they should really try to get him on GMM.

Rhett and Chase really didn't do great in this game, but I loved watching how much happier Link and Davin got after each round of not having to eat the spicy candy. Rhett is never good at losing, but Chase, who had to do most of the eating, didn't look too happy either.

Now, tell me more about the knitting club with Link and Davin.

[myaekingheart]

I've honestly been in such a shit mood today, I swear. Like I was alright when I woke up, I guess, except every limb on my body ached. My legs have been really sore these days and so have my arms/hands and for absolutely no good goddamn reason. It's not like I exercise. Maybe that's why I'm sore, because of what I don't do versus what I actually do. I just...I don't know, all day I've just been feeling like I'm not a functional human being, that I can't do anything right. My boyfriend was getting on my case because there were all these wires on the floor and he kept telling me not to step on them yet there was hardly anywhere else to step, and then we were playing TERA all day, a game I had never played before, and turns out I accidentally chose the most complex class possible which was making literally everything impossible. I was getting so stressed out because everything was coming at me at once, I was like a magnet for enemies and they just kept slamming me and every time I leveled up, a million pop-ups would come up and I never had time to read them all or even read the dialogue with other characters important to the storyline because people kept coming up and attacking me. And of course my boyfriend inadvertently chooses the easiest and most powerful class to play as so all of this is just a piece of cake for him meanwhile I'm over here getting pounded. It also doesn't help that the camera would move every time I moved my mouse, which I am not used to at all, and it was stressing me out, I hate it. We played for nearly seven hours and I levelled up and everything but by the end of it I was so fucking overwhelmed, I had such sensory overload from everything coming at me at once. That's why I never play video games in the first place, because they just stress me out way too fucking much. I can only handle casual games like The Sims (that pause button is a godsend, I can't even tell you how many times I pause the game every time I play) or Solitaire (not that that's a video game so much as it's something old people play on the computer. I guess I am an old person). Single player, low stress shit. I was hoping to get a break after I signed off but instead, I got an email from my college that made me want to check my school account but when I tried to log in, it kept telling me the username and password I was entering was wrong even though I was positive it was right. I ended up calling my dad, who was the last one to log in to my school account, thinking it was his fault and that he had locked me out of my own account by being logged into it on his own computer or something but then he was getting locked out, the website suggested calling IT but it was after 6pm and IT was closed for the night so there went that idea, I was frustrated which was getting my dad frustrated and we were shouting at each other, it was just lovely. I ended up finally getting it fixed-- turns out the password I was so certain was right was actually wrong-- but things just didn't seem to end there. We've let the dishes pile up considerably over the last week or so, so as my boyfriend was cooking dinner he asked me to take care of the dishes. It should've been done days ago, honestly, but he works and goes to school and when he's not doing that, he's playing video games. I have no job and am out of school so I really have no excuse but if we're going to make one, I just never have the will to care. It's like that post I reblogged earlier today: I know I need to do this and my quality of life will decrease the more I let it sit there but I don't have the will to care, to get up and take care of it. That's pretty much me. I just don't have to motivation or will to do it. I know it needs to be done and that I should do it because my boyfriend has more to deal with than I do, I am literally a housewife, but I just...I wake up every morning and the only thing that gets me out of bed is my growling stomach and knowing that if i don't eat something, I'm going to make myself sick. But anyways, so he asked me to take care of the dishes while he cooked dinner which I obliged to because I mean, I should take care of it anyways. Apparently I am completely incapable of being a functional human being with the ability to do simple tasks because even doing dishes was a hardcore chore. Let the records show that I really hate doing dishes anyways (we don't have a dishwasher at our place and holy mother of fuck do I wish we did, doing the dishes is disgusting and just makes me not want to eat even more because who would keep their appetite scraping rotten, waterlogged food off of plates? Disgusting. I have to fight a gag reflex every time I'm subjected to it) but today things just went through the roof. Last time my boyfriend's mother was up, she did us a favor and bought us a new bottle of dish detergent which was great because we had ran out. She bought the jumbo size bottle which I mean, I get it, it's worth it because there's more and that's great. We won't have to buy detergent as frequently. The only issue is that I can't pick up the damn thing. It's too heavy and I can't fit my hand around it and when my hands are wet, say goodbye to every ounce of grip possible. This was the exact problem I was having tonight: I could not for the life of me pick up the damn bottle. I tried but I was not successful. I could lift it for a few seconds to try and squirt some detergent out but I had such a poor grip on the bottle that my aim was off and I was making a mess and the thing was slipping out of my hands all over the place and our sink is so tiny (and our kitchen for that matter) that water always drips over the side of the counter and onto the floor so I have to wipe that up or else it'll just be a nuisance and it's just so absolutely frustrating, I hate that something so motherfucking mundane aggravates me so fucking much. I was so stressed about it today, though, that I nearly broke down in tears. My boyfriend had to take an empty soap bottle from the bathroom and pour the detergent into there just to try and make things easier for myself. I never did finish. Half the dirty dishes are still just sitting there in the sink or on the counter probably collecting ants as they wait to be cleaned. I was going to do it after dinner but here we are almost four hours later and I never got around to it. Not like my boyfriend hounded me about it or anything, nor did he take care of it. Which is fine, whatever, I'll probably do it tomorrow or something. If I care enough. On top of all of this, we found out the cat has fleas so we had to order a flea collar and as we were talking about it briefly, trying to figure out how he got them (considering he's an indoor cat and is the only one in the house), I mentioned that maybe he picked them up at that hotel we all had to stay at for the hurricane. I started elaborating on it saying because that was the only time the cat had been outside since he and my boyfriend moved into the apartment and that the place is a pet friendly hotel anyways and even though the cat didn't interact with any other animals, that doesn't mean that the fleas couldn't have crossed over from another pet that was staying in the room before us or something. Before I got the chance to explain everything, however, my boyfriend stopped me not unkindly and said I didn't need to list everything off, that he already knew what I meant. Which was fine, I don't even know why I did it in the first place, but it just kind of bugged me that he stepped in and kind of cut me off. It probably would've bugged me regardless but it didn't help that I was already in a pretty iffy mood and feeling lowkey vulnerable from the rest of the day, so it only made matters worse. Since then, I've kind of just been sitting here quietly doing whatever in a sulky mood because why the fuck not? I feel sulky so I have the right to be sulky. It's only human anyways. He knows something is up but I never went into detail when he asked if I was okay, I just told him I was in a mood and felt like all day I've been doing everything wrong and like I'm not a functional human being and he just said something about "Well, I don't think you're useless and I love you" or whatever and got back to his video games. Not that he's been ignoring me or anything, like every so often he'll look over at me and make sure I'm doing alright, ask me what I'm up to (to which I reply "stupid bullshit"), and just a few minutes ago during a load screen he basically stared at me and rubbed my leg for a solid three minutes so there's that. To be completely honest, though, I don't even know why all of this is bugging me so much in the first place. I mean, I'm already a moody bitch as it is but I just feel like all of this is completely unwarranted, escalated bullshit. I feel like I freak out or get stressed at the most insignificant little things (like the other day I lost it because we bought two boxes of donuts at the store and my boyfriend left them on top of the microwave and when I opened the one the other morning, despite it having been sealed, there were still ants crawling all inside of it) and it pisses me off. I don't want to be this touchy yet here I am, the moody little bitch that I am. I don't know, maybe it's just the stress of living on my own that's really starting to weigh on me. Realizing that I have all of these adult responsibilities to deal with now like taking care of my own place and paying bills and eventually actually learning to drive and finding a job. Like okay, yeah, that should probably all be taken care of. It should've been taken care of years ago but look who procrastinates on literally every fucking thing? This bitch right here. I still have a hard time reminding myself that this isn't some little long distance visit like my boyfriend and I used to do, either. For a little over a year we were long distance and I'd travel back and forth about once a month to spend at least the weekend with him. I'd get a couple days to a week of no parental supervision, happy fun times worked around his work or school schedule, and it was all fine and dandy, you know, whatever. Then at the end of it all, my parents would pick me back up and take me home and I'd go back to mom's homecooked meals and sitting outside with the dog and watching Jeopardy during dinner, the whole family experience. Nearly two months later and I still don't think it's sunk in that all of that is gone now. There are little things that set off these default thoughts about going back home, like if my boyfriend and I are watching a show together on Hulu or something, I'll think to myself "Oh, we better binge on as much as possible because I won't be able to watch this when I get home!" or something. The thought of potentially going back home, like to visit or whatever, makes my stomach churn, too. I don't know when I'll get back down there next but I'm so conflicted. I want to go back to see my parents and my dog and my old house again and everything but then on the other hand, I want to keep my distance just because I know that's not mine anymore. I almost had to make plans to go back for a doctor's appointment in order to get some papers signed off for registering with the university I'm going to but [un]fortunately we found a way to make that not happen. I think my biggest thing is staying in my old bedroom and what's going to come of it. That bedroom was my sanctuary. I had spent so much time there, it had become so overrun with my things and my personality. It felt like crawling into a cozy little space in my mind at the end of every day where I'd sit up on my laptop til 4am relaxing and playing Friends or Fresh Prince reruns on mute in the background. It was cozy and warm and it looked like me and smelled like me and felt like me. It was my space. Now that I've moved out, 1) I don't have a "my space" anymore. Every space is an "our space" now. 2) That space in my parent's house has pretty much been gutted and generalized into just another room in a building I once occupied. It's not mine anymore. It's a free space open to any and all guests who come to that house. I hope they know that when they lay their head down at night, they're falling asleep in a room full of tears and memories. I don't know how I'm going to handle being that guest when I eventually go back, sleeping in a room that once belonged to me but isn't mine anymore. It haunts me. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about how weird going back to that house in general will be. None of those things in that place are mine anymore. It's not my home anymore to come back to. It's just a place where I used to live. I realize now that this has practically nothing to do with my crappy day but then again, if I'm talking about it, maybe it does? Every time I vent, that always seems to be what everything comes back to these days, my struggle to adjust to this new way of life. Maybe that's the foundation of everything after all. I know I was a being never meant for change, a plant who takes root in one space and refuses to leave without a lot of tugging and struggle. Hell, even going to that goddamn hotel for the hurricane was a struggle because I had to pack up and leave. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am a plant and I was meant to be stationary. I used to think astrology and zodiac signs indicating hallmark aspects of people's personalities was just a bunch of bullshit but now I'm beginning to think maybe it's not such bogus after all. I don't know, seems like things are telling pretty accurately to me so far (I'm a Taurus, which means I'm an Earth sign, which I'm pretty sure correlates with the earth element which has to do with plants which is what I am pretty sure I am at this point because oh my god). Or maybe that's just stupid, I don't fucking know. Sometimes I feel like I don't know anything anymore and I don't really know how to feel about that. I don't like not knowing things. I don't like feeling stupid and uneducated, and yet somehow I always seem to label myself as such in an act of belittlement and low self esteem. I think very little of myself all the time always. I wish I could say I was humble but instead, I'm just cynical and probably a little depressed or whatever. I don't know, man. I don't know anymore. I just really don't know.