#also i want to get these shell plates done before the five day vacation that we'll be going on in ten days

[piplupod]

i love having multiple creative hobbies but man is it frustrating when i cannot decide what to do fjdsfjkl, i want to needlefelt but i also want to draw but i also want to crochet right now and i'm stuck because i can't decide on what to do

[illfoandillfie]

Seaside Rendezvous - Part 1

Request:  Can you please write a hc for going on a island vaca at a resort with your family after college finals and you meet joe (also a college student) and you two see each other a ton but you are always with your family so not much happens but flirty small talk and you both end up having a lot of sexual tension and go into one of your rooms when you’re family is out and just some smut happens?

Pairing: Joe Mazzello x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of sex but generally pretty innocent

Words: 4606

A/N: So this was meant to be just a small blurb/hc thing but it turned into a full 2 chapters lmao what can I say, the idea spoke to me 🤷‍♀️. It’s also the first full Joe fic I’ve done! Set in like the 2000s I guess because I don’t know a single goddamn thing about current celebrities (not that it really matters too much)

Taglist:  @idontbelievethiss @somekindof-cheese @dtfrogertaylor   @ezmina98  @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr

In the days before you went on vacation your friends had made a lot of jokes about potential holiday romances. Everything from unsubtle innuendos to fantasies about running into pop stars who would, naturally, sweep you off your feet. You laughed at it all, rolling your eyes at the more far-fetched ideas – as if Justin Timberlake would want you. But, if you were being honest, the idea had crossed your mind the minute your Mom called to tell you she’d booked a family vacation to Hawaii. Not the Timberlake stuff, the real stuff – the potential to have a fling with a cute almost stranger, a couple of weeks spent relaxing on the beach and indulging in meaningless sex. After all, it had been a few months since you broke things off with Eddie and, while you weren’t necessarily ready to rush into anything as serious as a proper relationship, a brief holiday romance sounded almost ideal. Provided you could find anyone attractive enough. And get away from your family for long enough.  

Almost as soon as finals were done you were at the airport, boarding your flight to Hawaii where your parents and little sister had already been for a day. With thoughts of warm sand and soft kisses swirling though your head as you shuffled onto the plane, it was almost inevitable that you’d ended up fantasising about one of your fellow passengers. He’d seen you struggling to get your carryon luggage into the overhead compartment and had come to your aid, lifting the heavy suitcase with ease and offering you a sweet smile and a joke about travelling with rocks. You giggled, less because the joke was funny than that you didn’t know how else to deal with those gorgeous hazel eyes looking at you. Unfortunately, you couldn’t say much more than a brief thank you, the crowd jostling around you pushing you towards your seat, a few rows behind him. You spent the rest of the flight trying to subtly watch him, glancing at him from over the top of your magazine. It wasn’t like you had anything better to do for the duration of the flight – the magazine you’d picked up seemed painfully boring now and after finals your brain didn’t feel up to reading a whole lot anyway. Thankfully you had an aisle seat, something that had bummed you out at first but now seemed like a lucky break since he did too. He looked to be around your age, alone, reading. You took in everything of his appearance you could, the slope of his nose, the slight scruff covering his jaw, as you let yourself drift into fantasy. His hands pulling you into the airplane bathroom. His lips trailing down your throat. His fingers slipping into your shorts. He was definitely cute with a capital c, and it was nice to have someone to think about, even if this small infatuation or whatever it was wouldn’t last much longer than the flight. After all, he probably wouldn’t be staying at the same resort your family was, right? Because that would be the sort of thing you’d find in a romance novel or a cheesy movie, not real life. Real life never lined up so perfectly.

At the end of the flight you watched him get up, pull down his own luggage, and leave without so much as a backwards glance. And then he was lost in the crowd as you collected your things and followed everyone towards the arrivals lounge. The sight of your parents and younger sister, Erin, drove the cute passenger from your mind, the infatuation slipping away (as you’d known it would) as soon as you saw Erin waving at you, a big grin plastered to her face. Your mother pulled you into a tight embrace as soon as you were within reach, already asking you a hundred questions – how was school? Did the finals go okay? Whatever happened to that Eddie boy you’d brought home for Thanksgiving? Your Dad pried her off you, reminding her you needed air like everyone else, and began to lead you all out towards the car. On the drive to the resort you filled each other in on what had been happening, catching up on the months you’d missed since you last visited home.

By the time you arrived at the resort, the guy from the plane was so far from your thoughts you wouldn’t have been able to recall the colour of his eyes if you’d tried. Which is why you almost dropped your luggage when you saw him leaning against the reception desk. You mumbled something about tripping when your Mom turned to see what had happened, trying not to let your eyes flick towards him again. Your parents already had the key to their room but you’d booked one in your name as well – twin beds so your sister could join you.   “I’ll get someone to take your luggage up while you sort out your key and then we can all head down to the pool before dinner, sound like a plan?”   “Sounds great Dad, I’ll meet you guys upstairs” you nodded, willing them to leave before Airplane Boy did. If things went your way you could find out how he compared to your airborne fantasies by the end of the night.

Whatever being was watching over you must have been in a benevolent mood because twenty seconds later your family was in the elevator and your fantasy man was turning around, room key in hand, eyes going wide when he saw you. “Well isn’t this a small world,” his eyes, hazel, flicked over you as he spoke, taking in every inch of your appearance and suddenly you wished didn’t look like you’d just got off a plane. “Yeah, who’d have thought we’d both end up at one of the most popular resorts on Hawaii?” “Would have been just my luck if we hadn’t, did you manage to get that bag of rocks back down or is that why you’ve got no luggage?” “I got it down. I had to get help from someone in the cabin crew, but I got it down.” “Well I’m glad someone was there to rescue you. I’m Joe by the way.” He held out his hand. “Y/N,” you said, shaking it, setting the butterflies in your stomach fluttering. “Nice to meet you properly, Y/N.” “Likewise.” You smiled at him, batting your lashes ever so slightly. “Well, if you need any more help with your bags, I’m happy to lend a hand. Make up for not getting them back down for you.” “That’s a very sweet offer Joe, though I don’t think I properly thanked you for the help in the first place,” Oh christ did that sound too much like a line from a porno? Joe's laugh was that of someone a little flustered, cheeks turning pink. “S-sorry, I, uh, I should let you go check in now,” “Probably should do that should’t I? Maybe, I’ll see you round though?” “Yeah, I hope so. I mean, probably, right? A place like this – not many spots you could hide in,” he laughed. “Who said I’d be hiding?” You trailed your fingers over his arm as you walked past him, “See you later Joe,” He cleared his throat, “Yeah, bye Y/N.” You managed to resist the urge to turn around and see if he was watching you walk away as you headed to get your key, kind of wishing you had let your Mom talk you into getting a twin room. Erin was great, and you’d missed her, but nothing said you're not having sex like sharing a room with a twelve-year-old. It didn’t hit you until you were in the elevator that you should have found out his room number.  

“Sorry I’m late, the guy in front of me had some sort of problem. Took ages to sort out.” Definitely wasn’t flirting with anyone.   “Well you’re here now. Still got time to hit the pool so best get a wriggle on.” You and Erin exchanged rolled eyes as you opened your room. It was clean and simple, the two beds taking up most of the space. Splashes of bright green, like the cushions that sat on each bed, and the vase of flowers that stood on the side table against the far wall, were in stark contrast to the crisp white walls and sheets. A balcony gave you a picturesque view of the ocean, and ocean themed artwork hung above the TV and on half the blank walls. You ducked into the bathroom to get changed, finding more artwork on the walls and some decorative shells by the sink. It took you all of five minutes to change into your bathers and grab your sunnies. Normally you wouldn’t have bothered with the bikini for anything less than the beach, especially so late in the afternoon, but there was the chance you could run into Joe again and you wanted him to see you in something better than the old shorts and too big shirt you’d flown in. You gave your lips a swipe of gloss, blowing a kiss to your reflection before hurrying out to join your family, towel tucked under your arm.

The pool was not the single Olympic length one you’d been imagining but rather a series of oddly shaped lagoons of crystal-clear water interspersed with greenery that made everything feel full of life and offered protection from the sun when it was at its highest. It was busy but large enough and spread out enough that it wasn’t noticeable. There were people gathered around the bar, ordering bright drinks topped off with umbrellas and fresh fruit, and relaxing on the many lounge chairs, empty glasses and plates lining the tables. Your father led the way through the hoard of screaming children in the kiddie pool and their parents lazily watching them from the sides, towards a lagoon further back, finding a clear spot at the water’s edge. You’d barely sat down, dipping your toes into the cool water when Erin ran past you to cannonball into the pool, the large splash she made flying towards you. When she surfaced, she laughed at the now wet hair you’d had to push backwards out of your eyes. “Careful sweetie,” your Mom warned, already lying back on a lounge chair with her eyes closed. You kicked some water back at Erin, only half paying attention as you let your eyes wander over the people. No sign of Joe. You sighed, leaning back on your hands and closing your eyes as you tilted your head back, letting the low sun warm you while it still could. It felt nice to relax, even if there wasn’t a cute boy drooling over you. You hadn’t properly relaxed in too long to count.  

“Bikini’s a good look,” Slowly you brought your head back up, turning towards your right where Joe was suddenly sitting. “Suit’s you.” “Thanks,” you gave Joe a once over, pushing your sunglasses down your nose a little so you could take in the boardshorts and bare chest look he’d gone for, before tilting your head back to the sky again, “Could say the same for you.” “Don’t think I’d look half as good in a bikini as you do.” You could hear his stupid grin through every word and couldn’t help the laugh it inspired. “So what brings you to the pool?” he asked, shifting so he was facing you and leaning in. “Eyes forward, can’t look like we’re talking.” “Oh-kay.” He did as you asked, dropping his feet into the water and looking out to the other end of the pool, “Can I ask why we’re being so,” he stretched the word out, waving his hand in circles as he searched for the right word, “clandestine?” “Family. Mom’s over there on the lounge chair, Dad’s gone to the bar I think. And technically I’m watching my little sister swimming. Not meant to be talking to cute boys.” “Well I'm flattered you’d break whatever rules you’re breaking for me, but I don’t want to get you in trouble.” “I like the trouble. Besides it’s less rules and more that this is the first time I’ve seen my family in months. If they caught wind I wanted to ditch them for a guy I barely know...let’s just say they’d make a fuss.” “So we’re not dealing with like, an overprotective father then?” “Mum’s more of the worry, she’d get like super nosey. But Dad’d be too awkward to be mad.” “Thank God,” Joe mimed wiping sweat from his forehead. When he put his hand back down it was closer to yours, pinkie fingers brushing slightly. You could feel him chancing a glance at you but focused your gaze on Erin, watching as she tread water while talking to another girl around her age, trying to slow your heart beat before it thumped right out of your chest.   He flicked his head forward again, a shy smile still in place as his eyes came to rest on the same spot as yours, “Your sister seems sweet,” “Erin? She can be, but she also inherited Mom’s love of gossip.”   “So gotta be careful around her then,” “Definitely,” You turned your head towards him, finding it difficult to drag your eyes away from his lips once they’d settled there, your own parting slightly in anticipation of a kiss that wasn’t coming. “Sneaking around is kinda more fun though. Think you can get away tonight? Just long enough to have a drink with me?” You hadn’t expected him to be so bold as to ask you out this early on but it wasn’t an unwelcome surprise. Even so, you pretended to think it over, taking extra time as if you were running through a list of things in your mind, “Yeah, think so. Just depends how fast Erin drops off.” He threw you a questioning look. “We’re roommates.” “So I guess you’ll be wanting my room number then, since yours is off limits. It’s 308.” “Huh, I’m in 315.” “Well Miss Y/N from room 315, Hope I see you soon.” He pushed himself to his feet and walked away, leaving you with a racing heart, sweaty palms, and a pinkie finger that just wouldn’t stop tingling.  

After dinner you returned to your room, exhausted from the long day and needing to unpack properly. Erin collapsed onto her bed, flicking the TV on and settled in to watch reruns of The Simpsons while you hauled your suitcases over to the cupboard and began to put things away. The two of you talked intermittently, mostly during commercials, about what you were hoping to do on this holiday and how much fun it was going to be. She didn’t mention seeing you talk to Joe which relieved you no end, especially after you’d run into him at the restaurant where you’d had dinner. Just a brief, “Sorry, excuse me,” from him as he squeezed behind you while you waited for a table. His hand had lingered a fraction longer than necessary on your lower back, and it had taken all your willpower not to grab it and place it on your ass. And then he was gone again, lost in the crowd, while you tried to maintain a regular conversation with your parents.  

You’d just changed into your pyjama shorts and a singlet and were about to hop into bed yourself, when you heard a loud giggle from the next room over where your parents were. It was followed by your father’s voice making shushing noises through his own laughter and then, “don’t want the kids to hear us. So glad we’ve got the room to ourselves now.” You and Erin exchanged horrified looks and then you were both moving, slipping shoes on and grabbing the room key, all tiredness forgotten as you just about ran out the door. You only paused when you reached the elevator, realising you had no idea where you were going.   “Is there like a rec room or something we could go to?” You asked, scanning the list of floor numbers for any sign of a pool table or video game console. “How should I know?” “You’ve been here a whole 24 hours more than me,” “I just went where Mom and Dad went!” “Alright, Christ, no need to yell. Well, I know the bar is on flo-” “Typical,” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “All you grown ups care about is the stupid bar,” “Yeah cause you brats drive us to drink,” “You brats drive us to drink,” she imitated in a high pitched annoying whine that made you roll your eyes. “Fine, you’re gonna be a baby I’ll see if there’s a fucking nursery to drop you in. You clearly need to go beddy-byes.” Your bickering was interrupted by footsteps coming up behind you and a familiar voice calling your name. Fuck.

“Didn’t take you for one to argue in the hallways,” “Clearly you don’t have a younger sister then, Joe,” “No, but I do have an older one. She could be real bossy,” he winked at Erin who giggled. You rolled your eyes again.   “Do you know if there’s a rec room or something round here?” “At this time? What’s wrong with your room?” “Mum and Dad are fucking,” Erin chimed in before you could come up with an excuse, looking far too innocent to understand what that meant and for a moment you wondered what else she’d learnt while you were away at college, “I saw you talking to Y/N this afternoon at the pool. Are you two fucking?” “Jesus Erin, language. And stop being so fucking nosey,” “You swear all the time,” “I’m an adult, I’ve earned the right to swear,” “Why don’t we settle this argument back at my room? There’s a Simpson’s marathon on which I’m sure... Sorry didn’t catch this little angel’s name,” Smooth. “Erin,” the so-called angel piped up, sticking out her hand and grinning.   “Which I’m sure Erin would enjoy,” Joe finished as he bent down and shook her hand, “Nice to meet you.” Your eye muscles sure were getting a workout tonight. But Erin seemed pleased with the turn of events so you accepted. Better than getting lost on the way to a rec room that may not even exist. Plus it helped that as Joe stood up he subtly mentioned the bottle of vodka he had stashed in his suitcase.

Joe’s room looked much the same as yours, though he had different art and instead of twin beds, one king sized. “Alright, there you go Missy,” he said to Erin as he handed her the remote control to the TV, “Knock yourself out,” “Please,” you mumbled as Erin raced into the room, kicking her shoes off as she went and then bounced into the middle of the bed. Joe caught you rolling your eyes again. “You do that a lot y’know,” “Only when I’m babysitting. I love her to death but Christ,” If badmouthing your sister was going to earn you another laugh from Joe you could have gone all night. Instead you reigned yourself in, leaning against the doorframe as you watched him dig through his luggage. Finally he pulled out the bottle he’d been searching for, holding it up triumphantly. “D’you wanna sit on the balcony?” “Sounds great,” you followed him out, dodging Erin’s annoyed grunts as you moved in front of the TV. “Not gonna get too cold out here in those adorable PJs? Very short,” Joe said as he gently shut the door behind you. “I think I’ll be fine. But I’ll let you know if I need warming up.” He laughed as he slid down the door until he was sitting on the floor, patting the spot beside him. You glanced at the unused chairs but joined him anyway, stretching your legs out in front of you as he opened the bottle of vodka.   “I don’t have any glasses so I hope you don’t mind sharing the bottle,” “Who brings a full bottle of vodka and no cups?” “A college student?” “Fair enough,” “Ladies first,” He passed the bottle over and you took a large swig, hissing a little as the alcohol burned your throat. “You were good with her, before,” you passed the bottle back to Joe, tilting your head to indicate Erin. “Yeah well, don’t just have an older sister, got a younger brother too. Not quite the age gap though.” “She was a bit of...a surprise. But your family isn’t here too?” “Nah, came on my own. Reward for getting through another fuckin year.” “Cheers to that,” you peaked over your shoulder but Erin was completely entranced by the TV. “So you’re parents really just went for it?” “Urgh, god don’t remind me. That’s what the alcohol’s for. Completely unfair that they get to haunt us with nightmares for the rest of our lives and I can’t get a second away from my baby sister.” “You could always sneak away.” “What like, fake being sick?” “God no, too risky. Have you never watched a movie before? Ferris Bueller ringin’ any bells?” “Alright, calm down,” you laughed, “it was just a suggestion,” “Fake being sick,” he scoffed, taking another sip of vodka, “To make it believable you’d have to start exhibiting signs the night before. Then day of you have to give yourself a temperature and make yourself sneeze or cough or throw up a lot. And then what about Erin? She’s not gonna catch whatever mysterious illness you get that clears up in 24 hours. And you can only use it once.” “Jesus Christ. You really have thought about this.” “I got a lot of practice as a kid,” he said with a shrug, “If one of us was off from school sick, all of us were off from school sick.” “Okay smartguy, what do you suggest I do instead?” “Easy. Go with them on whatever they’re doing. Relaxing on the beach, golf course, whatever. Then a few hours in say you need to stretch your legs or claim to have an appointment with the masseuse or something but say you’ll meet up with them for lunch or dinner even. And then you come back here.” “You’re very confident that I’d visit you in my family free hours,” “You called me cute, think I can afford to be confident.” “Touché.”  

It was another few hours before you stood to leave, Joe having stashed the bottle of vodka away long ago, before you had the chance to get completely wasted. He’d told you that you’d thank him tomorrow when you didn’t wake up with a hangover but the part of your brain that remembered why you’d wanted a drink so bad didn’t fully believe him. You’d let him take the bottle with a promise that you could help finish it another night. As the hours ticked by he’d slowly inched closer to you, eventually wrapping his arm around you as you looked up at the partially obscured stars. You encouraged him by claiming you were getting chilly. Erin had dropped off within the first hour, though you were still cautious in case she woke up. Still you were happy to wedge yourself into his side, dropping your head onto his shoulder as you talked about whatever crossed your minds. You’d been even happier to let him kiss you, softly, breaking apart much too soon as Erin snorted in her sleep. That had been your cue to leave, even though your lips still buzzed with the desire for more.   “Sorry,” you said quietly, not quite pulling away from him. “No it’s fine, I don’t wanna get caught out by her either. She’s a feisty little thing,” “The word you’re looking for is nosey but yeah,” “Wouldn’t want her announcing anything to the whole resort,” “Not when sneaking around is kinda more fun,” You both chuckled, trying to keep your voices low as you re-entered Joe’s room. “D’you want me to carry her back to your room?” He offered with all the kindness you’d come to expect from him. “Sure your skinny little twig arms can handle it?” “I lifted your suitcase of paperweights didn’t I. Plus, it’s just up the hall.” “Thought it was a suitcase of rocks.” “Tomato, tomatoe. Do you want the help or not?” “Thanks,” He grunted slightly as he lifted her, one arm under her knees and the other under her back, pretending to drop her a little which had you stifling laughter and shaking your head as you lead the way out of his room.  

The walk back to your room was much too short, though Joe probably would have said different under the weight of your dead-to-the-world sister. You put your finger to your lips as you opened the door and held it. He deposited your sister on her bed as gently as possible, going the extra mile to tuck her in under the blankets she’d so hastily thrown to the side earlier. All was quiet in the room next door and you breathed a sigh of relief as Joe came back out into the hallway. He stood close, the extra inches he had on you much more noticeable now than when you’d been sitting on his balcony. “So, you’ll try to get away then?” Joe bit his lip nervously which only served to make him look even cuter, making you want him more. “Yeah, soon as I can.” “Tomorrow maybe?” “Coming across a little desperate Joey,” you teased, poking him in the chest, “Besides think Mom mentioned something about doing a tour of the island tomorrow, not sure I could get away. But soon, promise.” “I’m gonna hold you to that, Y/N,” “Of course,” There was a brief pause, Joe rubbing the palm of one hand with the other’s thumb as his eyes darted over your head to your sleeping sister and then to the door of your parent’s room. “Fuck it,” he said and then he was leaning in to kiss you again. It started as light and soft as the first attempt back at his room had, almost chaste, but when no third-wheeling sibling or grumpy parent interrupted it changed. His hands moved further around your back, pulling you as close to him as he could. You wobbled slightly as your balance shifted but he held you steady while you wrapped your arms around his neck, tongues meeting with the urgency only an imminent interruption could bring. You lost track of how long you were intertwined, all other thoughts driven from your mind until he pulled back. “Been thinking about that since you helped me on the plane,” you muttered softly, trailing your hand down over his cheek, not wanting to lose contact yet. “How did I do?” His hands hadn't left you either.   “Oh, uh r-really good,” you nodded rapidly. Joe laughed again, “Don’t think I’ve seen you this lost for words before,” You wanted to say something witty in response, but your mind was still whirling with the kiss so all you could manage was a, “spose not,” and a small giggle. Slowly you came back to your senses, realising where you were. “I should -,” you pointed at your room with your thumb, though it was half hearted. “Yeah,” He caught your lips with his once more, briefly, before bidding you goodnight and disappearing down the hall leaving you, once again, wishing you had a room to yourself so you could at least masturbate in peace.

[the-lisa-anon]

Springfield Girls: Summer of 4'2 Rewrite

(It is the first day of school, which means summer is coming to an end.  The Simpson kids, Bart and Lisa are now attending Springfield Elementary after they moved over the summer. They were initially living in Capital City until their father had gotten a promotion at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant)

(A few days before school even started, Lisa did some back to school shopping with her mother. As they were doing so, Lisa saw some clothes that she liked and asked her mom if she can buy them for her, which she agrees to. The reason behind that is because at her old school, Lisa really didn’t have any friends. Hell, none of the kids even bothered to sign her yearbook. So, Lisa thinks that if she changes her image, people might want to be her friend)

(Earlier this morning, Bart said that his new friend, Milhouse, was waiting for him so they can walk to school together. Since Homer is already starting his new job, Marge, along with Maggie, ended up taking Lisa to school)

(As they got to Springfield Elementary, Lisa waves goodbye to her mother and her baby sister) (While Lisa was walking around the school field, she was trying to find kids that she can hang out with. Mostly, she saw kids that look at least 2 or 3 years older than her. So, she tried to find kids around her age. She really wasn’t getting that much luck until she saw a group of five girls having a conversation at the bottom of the field)

Alex: So, my dad tried to get me to go to a bar, but my mom’s all, like, no way.

(Lisa recognized how she talked in a valley girl accent, so she decided to do a little practice with it before she went up to the group. She takes out her phone, goes to the camera app, uses it as a mirror, and rehearses her voice)

Lisa: Like, you know, whatever. Like, you know, whatever.

(Once she feels like she’s ready, she walks up to the five girls who are continuing to have a conversation)

Lisa: Hey, what's hap—

(Right before they could notice her, a bird caught their attention. This startles Lisa which causes her to run back to her spot)

Lisa: Okay, okay, okay... not your fault, it's a bird thing. You don't control the birds -- you will someday, but not now.

(She takes at least a few seconds to calm herself down and walks up to the group again. Only this time, she walks past by them while saying hello to them)

Lisa: Hi.

Janey: Hi!

Isabel: Who’s that?

Allison: I don’t know. New girl?

Tumi: Hey, I like your clothes.

(Lisa stops with a surprised look on her face)

Lisa: A compliment! (She thinks to herself whether if what she said was an actual compliment or an insult)

Lisa: Scanning for sarcasm... it's clean. Go!

(She runs back over to the five girls)

Lisa: Thanks. Umm... You guys ride bikes?

Janey: Try to but cops always confiscate our bikes.

Tumi: Yeah, and you just know they're using them like five minutes later down at the station.

(Lisa grunts, agreeing with how selfish and tacky the police in this town are)

Lisa: I think I know a place you can bike that’s virtually deserted.

(The girls don’t respond due to them being confused by Lisa’s sentence. Lisa then responds by saying what she said to herself when she was practicing)

Lisa: Like, you know, whatever.

Lisa’s friends: (Murmurs of understanding and appreciation)

(Lisa smiles to herself)

(At the end of the school day, Lisa and her new friends are at the Public Library)

Allison: This is a great place. What'd you say your name was?

Lisa: Didn’t. It’s Lisa.

Alex: I’m Alex.

Isabel: I’m Isabel.

Tumi: I’m Tumi.

Janey: I’m Janey.

Allison: I’m Allison.

Lisa: It’s nice to meet all of you.

Tumi: Same to you. So how did you know about this place? You into books?

Lisa: Me? Unlikely. My goony brother's always going to libraries. I usually hang out in front.

Alex: Oh, you like hanging out, too?

Lisa: Well, it beats doing stuff.

Isabel: Yeah, stuff sucks.

Allison: Hey, Lisa? You can use my bike.

(She hands her bike over to Lisa)

Lisa: Okay... thanks. That's very, uh... nice of you.

(While she is riding her new friend’s bike, Milhouse and Bart watch her from the bushes)

Milhouse: Hey, Bart, Lisa's biking with those girls! And she looks like Blossom!

(Bart snorts in disbelief)

Bart: Lisa? With people? If they're impressed by her, I'm gonna Bart their world. Okay, Milhouse, you know the drill.

Milhouse: Right. You go over and wow them, I hide in the shrubs.

(As Milhouse hides in the shrubs, Bart skateboards over to Lisa’s friends)

Bart: Hot stuff coming' through!

(Bart skateboards through a fountain as he hums to the tune of Surfin USA. As he finishes up his amazing tricks, he was sure that he had won the five girls over)

Bart: My friendship. You know you want it.

Janey: This guy, like, tried too hard.

Isabel: Even though he is cute, who is he?

Lisa: That's my dorky little brother, Bart --tholomew.

Tumi: Like, who does he think he is with that slingshot in his back pocket? Dennis the Menace?

All six girls: (Laughing)

(Bart walks away in disappointment and walks back over to Milhouse, who was still in the bushes)

Milhouse: How'd it go? Are we down with them?

Bart: No. They must have seen you.

(Later that night, at the Simpsons house, Milhouse was playing cards with Bart and his family while Lisa was out with her friends. Bart, however, found this boring as he groans to himself)

Bart: Oh, why do we have to play this lousy old game?

Marge: Because it is the only one we have. Come on, Homer, open the door for your Mystery Date!

Homer: Captain of the Football Team! He's a dreamboat! Don't wait up, Marge.

(Marge chuckles to herself)

Marge: Okay, Bart, your turn, your turn.

(He pulls up a card as Marge giggles thinking that its funny)

Marge: You got "The Dud!"

(She continues to laugh some more. Homer also laughs at this as he points at Milhouse)

Homer: Hey, he looks just like you, Poindexter! Bart: How come Lisa doesn't have to play? Why does she get to hang out with her friends?

Homer: You've got friends. You got "The Dud" right here. Stand up for yourself, Poindexter!

(At Springfield Squidport, Lisa is hanging out with her new friends near the ocean)

Alex: Wow, Lisa, I never knew you were into this like... sea stuff.

Allison: Hey, that clam's got legs.

Lisa: That's a hermit crab. When she outgrows her old shell, she finds a new one that's a better fit. Don't be afraid, little friend. You'll be the most popular crab of the ocean.

(Lisa then picks up the hermit crab’s shell)

Lisa: Aww, a gift from my favorite crustacean.

Alex: Um, did you learn that word from a teacher or something?

Lisa: No. No, I heard it on "Baywatch."

Lisa’s friends: (Relieved/appreciative sounds)

(The next few days, Lisa continues to hang out with her new friends. On Thursday, she invites them over to her house after school. The six girls are in Lisa’s room talking and taking pictures together with their phones)

Tumi: Pretty cool of your mom to let us hang out here.

Janey: Totally. As for my mom, every time I come home from school, she’d be coming in with cookies and milk.

(Marge comes in with a plate full of cookies and milk for the girls as they thank her back in return and walks out of the room)

Allison: My dad’s all excited because of Labor Day Weekend. He woke me up earlier this morning to surprise me with a polaroid camera.

Isabel: Since I’m from Argentina, my family and I celebrate it twice a year. Once in May and once in September.

Lisa: Well, we could do something fun. Um, how about a beach party?

Tumi: Great idea, Lis.

Alex: Yeah, I know where there's a beach!

Isabel: I know where we can get some fireworks!

 (Later that evening, after Lisa’s friends went home, she went to talk with her parents if she and her friends can have a get together. They overheard her talk about it with her friends and they agreed to it. Homer and Marge have already planned for them to go to the beach for Labor Day weekend. Marge says that Lisa can invite her friends to go with them as long as they get each of their parents’ permission. She plans to meet them tomorrow while she and her brother are in school before they get on the road. So, Lisa asks her friends for their addresses so her mother can meet their parents for their approval to go on vacation with her and her family. Marge also tells Bart that Milhouse is more than welcome to go too)

(The next day, when the kids were at school, Marge goes to each one of Lisa’s friends houses and talks with each of their parents. All of Lisa’s friends’ parents got approval for their daughters to go on the trip with the Simpson family)

(When the kids got out of school, they went home to pack. Once the Simpsons got done packing their stuff and supplies, they were waiting on the other kids. As soon as they got into the car, Milhouse showed up and sat next to Bart. 5 minutes later, Janey and Tumi were being dropped off by their parents. About 10-11 minutes later, Alex and Isabel were being dropped off by their parents. About 15 minutes later, Allison was being dropped off by her parents. As soon as the girls arrived, they all sat in the back with Lisa. Once everyone buckled up, Homer started the car and started heading down the road)

(The travel was pretty hectic around this time of day, especially since it is Friday and Labor Day. While Milhouse was playing a game with Bart, Lisa and her friends were talking to each other as they were playing with Maggie. However, they had to make a quick pitstop since Maggie made a “mess” in her diaper and the smell grossed everybody out. After that was taken care of, they got back on the road. About 1-2 hours later, they were sitting in traffic on the interstate and decided to find the nearest exit so they can use the bathroom. They stopped at an Arby’s so they can use the restroom. Since they’re at least 2 hours away from the beach, Homer and Marge decided to go through the drive-through and get something to eat for them and the kids because by the time they get there, restaurants will start to close. After everyone got their food, they got back on the road. About an hour later, they stopped again at a rest stop to throw away their trash. Another hour later, they finally arrived at Springfield Beach)

(Once they parked in the parking lot, the adults helped the kids gather their belongings, went inside the hotel to check in, and went to their rooms. The room that they’re staying in has a living room, a mini kitchen area, a balcony, and three separate bedrooms along with bathrooms. Homer and Marge, along with Maggie are staying in the main room while Bart and Milhouse take an empty room and Lisa and her friends take the other empty room)

(At around 8:00, Lisa and her friends decided to go down to the beach while the others were out on the balcony)

Marge: Gee, I don't know what you've got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out. Didn't you buy any meat?

Homer: This baby's sure to kill something. Okay, now everybody -- stand back while I celebrate freedom. Bart, give me your matches.

Bart: Fresh out.

(As Bart went through his pockets, his father started to get annoyed as he made a frustrated grunting noise)

Homer: No lighter?... Nothing? Wait, I got it. The beer!

(Homer sighs in relief and casually whistles as he goes to get beer)

Bart: Oh, this is the worst Labor Day Weekend ever. I hate America! Come on, Milhouse, let's go down there.

Marge: I don't think you should. Let Lisa be alone with her new friends.

Bart: They're my friends, rightfully. She only got them by copying me!

Lisa: Don't have a cow, man!

Lisa’s friends: (Laughing)

Bart: See?! That's my expression!

Marge: Oh, you haven't said that in four years. Let Lisa have it.

Bart: It's the principle. She's gotta learn!

Marge: No! Now park your keister, meester!

Lisa: Aye carumba!

Lisa’s friends: (Laughing)

(Later on, at the beach, Lisa and her friends were roasting marshmallows that they bought from the pitstop store. Then, each of the five girls gave Lisa some jewelry)

Allison: Hey Lis, we all made some gifts for you.

Lisa: For me? Wow, my first real friends... ...ship bracelets. I don't have anything for you guys... ...except these necklaces I made.

(She gives each of the girls a necklace that she has made herself. Her friends graciously accept them as they sniff the delicious scent)

Janey: Oh, cool. Thanks, Lisa. These cinnamon dental floss necklaces smell so good, they’re almost too sweet to eat!

(Lisa chuckles at her comment and is happy that the girls like her gifts)

Lisa: I just know we're gonna be friends forever.

(As the girls smile at each other, Bart was watching them from the balcony with Milhouse’s glasses. He gives her an ominous smirk as an idea was coming to his mind)

Bart: So, Lisa has friends. We'll see about that.

Milhouse: Bart! I need my glasses!

(He heard a low, suspicious growl)

Milhouse: Oh, nice doggie.

(As Bart gives Milhouse his glasses back, he tells him that he needs to “take care of something” and that he’ll be back soon)

(Meanwhile, on the beach, Lisa is jumping in the air on a blanket while her friends were holding the blanket. Her uncontrollable laughter is a sign that she is having fun)

Lisa: I'm dizzy! I'm nauseous! Oh, but I'm popular!

(As she continues to laugh, she saw Bart, heading her way, smiling. At first, Lisa is confused, but when she sees her older brother carrying a “certain book,” she lets out a panicked gasp)

Lisa: What's he doing here? My yearbook! No!

Bart: Hey, ladies! You wanna see how cool Lisa Simpson really is?

(The moment he opened her old school yearbook, the five girls were surprised at what they were seeing)

Bart: Check this out: "Miss Perfect Attendance".

(Lisa was still bouncing on the blanket as the girls were still holding it)

Bart: "Grammar Rodeo -- Head Buccaroo".

(Lisa is still bouncing on the blanket while the girls are still looking at the yearbook as they continued to hold the blanket)

Bart: "The French Table" -- ooh la la.

(Eventually, Lisa stopped bouncing, as she is heartbroken by what her brother was doing. As for her friends, they unintentionally dropped her in shock, now that they’ve learn the truth about her. When Lisa got up, she looked at her brother, had tears in her eyes, and ran away crying. Her friends were about to go after her, but the five stunned girls continued to look at her yearbook)

Alex: "Teachers' Pet"?

(The next day, Lisa was eating cereal by herself while Marge was cleaning the dishes. Her friends were nowhere to be seen. Lisa was under the impression that the girls were either sleeping in or don’t want anything to do with her since they found out the “real her.” Anyways, she couldn’t blame them. Then, Bart showed up, took a seat next to her, and spoke in a tentative manner)

Bart: Hey, Lis.

(Lisa obviously doesn’t respond. Bart continues to speak to her in a condescending tone)

Bart: I guess my little yearbook stunt was pretty rough, but it did teach you a lesson: It's important to be yourself.

(His mockery enrages Lisa. The moment Marge walked out of the room, she threateningly grabs Bart by the shirt as she speaks to him while gritting her teeth)

Lisa: I know exactly who I am. I am the sister of a rotten, jealous, mean little sneak. You cost me my only friends! You ruined my life!

(She was about to squirt syrup in Bart’s eye, but immediately goes back to eating her cereal when their mother came back into the room. Marge was reading a newspaper and telling the kids about an exciting event that takes place this evening)

Marge: Hey, kids, there's a carnival tonight!

Milhouse: Oh boy, a carnival!

(Later that night, Marge took her kids and Milhouse out to the carnival. Lisa’s friends declined the invitation because they had something “important” to do)

(The first place they went to was the Squirt Gun Arcade. Things seemed to be going smoothly until Bart and Lisa were aggressively squirting each other with water guns)

Bart: (Angry drowning noises)

(Marge didn’t approve of their behavior and tried to get both of her kids to stop fighting as she was holding Maggie)

Marge: Kids! Stop that! Don't make me get the carney!

(Later on, the kids went on a spinning ride)

Bart: Hey, Lisa, make friends with this!

(He intended to spit at his sister, only for it to hit Milhouse)

Milhouse: Hey!

(Lisa retaliates by doing the same thing in return, only for her spit to hit Milhouse as well)

Milhouse: Hellllp! Hellllp!

(Then, the kids decided to try out bumper cars)

Marge: Remember, kids, there's no need to bump! Just enjoy the ride!

(However, while they were playing, Bart aggressively knocks Lisa out of the game. It turns out even a night at a place that is supposed to be fun isn’t enough to make Lisa happy. So, she decides to call it quits and leaves)

Lisa: (Sighs)

(After seeing her sister depart, Bart tries to call after her)

Bart: Lisa, wait!

(He now feels guilty by what he has done and realizes that his jealousy was getting the better of him. Lisa was just a lonely girl who wanted to fit in with other kids. Yes, she was wrong for copying his identity, but she finally found people who accepted her. Also, he hasn’t been very understanding of what it’s like to be alone. Thanks to his scheme, they probably want nothing to do with her anymore)

(Lisa is now walking on the street, alone, depressed, and right back from where she started when she was living in Capital City)

Lisa: Being myself didn't work... Being someone else didn't work... Maybe I just wasn't meant to have friends.

(She is walking back to the hotel and is now in front of the building in the parking lot. Before she enters, she hears familiar voices)

Allison: Lisa is going to be surprised when she sees this.

Janey: Well, hurry up. They’ll be back soon. Lisa!

(The five girls turned around, as they are shocked that Lisa has returned so early)

Lisa: Okay, you found out I'm an over-achieving bookworm. So whatever mean prank you're pulling, just finish it up and send me a Polaroid. I'm going to sleep.

(Right before Lisa could go inside, the girls stopped her)

Tumi: Wait, Lisa. Look.

Isabel: Cool, huh?

Alex: We wanted to do something nice for you so you wouldn’t get the impression that we hate you.

Allison: So, we decided to decorate your family’s car with seashells, starfish, any other things we gathered from the beach, paint, and some emoji stickers.

(Lisa is touched by what the girls did as she examines the car. The left side of the car says “LISA RULES” and the right side of the car says “WE 💗 YOU LISA”)

Lisa: Does this mean you still want to be friends? Even though I tried to cover up my nerdish... leanings?

Tumi: Look, we don't care who you were. You can't fake the kind of good person you are.

Isabel: Yeah. You taught us about cool things about different kinds of shells and why we shouldn’t go that deep into the ocean.

Lisa: This is the most thoughtful thing anybody ever –

(Right before Lisa could finish her sentence, Homer comes out of the hotel and is outraged by what the girls have done to his car)

Homer: Sweet merciful crap! My car!

(The girls laugh nervously as they try to calm him down)

Janey: Hi, Mr. Simpson. We didn’t expect to see you hear so early.

(Once Lisa’s friends explain to him about the car, he was still a little upset about it, but he understood why they did it and found the gesture sweet and went back inside. Lisa then pulls out her phone and walks over to her friends)

Lisa: Are you girls up for a group picture?

Lisa’s friends: Yeah. Sure. I’m down for it.

Lisa: Great!

(Lisa and the girls sat on her family’s car and sets the timer on her phone for 10 seconds. The picture came out perfectly. The six girls then take another photo, but this time, Lisa pretends she’s driving while the others are the passengers. After a few more pictures were taken, they tested out the polaroid camera and the pictures instantly came out in less than a minute)

(Just then, when the girls were ready to go back inside, Bart came around the corner to find Lisa. He was relieved with how happy she was as she reconciled with her new friends)

(Later on, Homer and Marge ordered pizza for the kids. Lisa and her friends were in their guest room talking while eating their food)

Lisa: Girls, I just wanted to say thank you for that wonderful surprise.

Lisa’s friends: You’re welcome. No problem. It was our pleasure.

Lisa: So, what made you come up with that surprise?

Alex: Well, at first, when your brother showed us who you really were from your old school yearbook, we tried to figure out why you would fake your true personality.

(A flashback from last night shows Lisa’s friends in their guest room trying to determine why Lisa made up all those things about herself. They immediately stop their brainstorming when they heard Lisa coming back into the room)

Janey: We decided to put our discussion on hold until the next day because we didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.

(A flashback from earlier this morning shows the girls continuing to the discuss the recent events while Lisa was out with her family)

Isabel: We weren’t really getting any answers, so we decided to go through the yearbook again to make sure that we weren’t missing anything obvious.

(A flashback from this afternoon shows Lisa’s friends going through the yearbook to review the accomplishments under Lisa’s picture and they went to the back of the book and saw that Lisa got no yearbook signatures from her former classmates. This makes the five realize that Lisa faked her cool persona because she felt alone and wanted to be accepted by others)

Allison: We then realized that you hid the real you from us because you wanted to belong, and you were worried that we would reject you for being smart

(A flashback shows the girls feeling sorry for Lisa, despite the fact that she lied about who she was. The five could also relate to her misery because even before they met each other, each of the girls knew what it was like to be shunned and bullied for being different)

Tumi: So, when we heard that you were going to the carnival with your family tonight, we turned down the invitation so we could surprise with you something to show you we that we care about you.

(A flashback shows Lisa’s friends talking to Marge in private earlier this evening. The five told her their plan and asked her if she was ok with them decorating the Simpson family car just for Lisa. When they explain their reason, Marge completely understood and approved of their plan, just as long as they are careful. Later on, after Lisa and her family were at the carnival, Lisa’s friends went on the boardwalk to go to different stores to buy supplies to decorate the car. When they came back to their room, they gathered all of the store-bought supplies along with the sea treasures that they collected on the beach and got to work)

Lisa: Speaking of my yearbook, what did you guys do with it?

(The girls were unsure of where her yearbook was, believing that one of them had it with them the whole time. The six friends start to get worried until Bart came into the room.)

Bart: Looking for something, ladies?

(He found the yearbook on the kitchen counter and wanted to give it back to his sister)

Lisa: My yearbook!

(Lisa takes Bart into the living room and looks in the back of her yearbook as she no longer sees blank spaces. She sees that her book is plastered with signatures from her new friends. One page is filled with five signatures. The first signature says “You made the end of summer very cool... I am here for you... always”-Isabel. The second signature says “You totally, like, matter to me, honey”-Alex. The third signature says “I really like you a lot, but not in that way”-Tumi. The fourth signature says “I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens”-Allison. The fifth signature says “Wipe that frown off your face. I’ll write your name in a blank space”-Janey. The second page says “We 💕 you Lisa” surrounded by these emojis: 😜, 😻, 😘, 😍, 🤗. Lisa looks at her friends as they smile at her, then hugs her yearbook closer to her chest and looks back at her brother)

Lisa: Thanks, Bart!

Bart: No problem. And I’m sorry about how I acted today and yesterday too.

Lisa: It’s ok. And I’m sorry for taking your identity and calling it as my own.

Bart: It’s cool.

(The two siblings then hug each other)

Bart: But don’t get all soft on me, ok?

Lisa: As long as you promise the same thing for me in return.

(Both siblings laugh at themselves)

Bart: Anyways, go have fun with your friends.

Lisa: What about you?

Bart: I already have a friend to hang out with. Speaking of that, where’s Milhouse?

(An announcement then came on throughout the hotel)

Announcer: For those of you who are familiar with a blue-haired kid with a funny looking balloon nose, he was accidentally locked in at the carnival when it has closed and must be picked up immediately.

Bart: That’s my cue.

(As Bart when to retrieve Milhouse, Lisa continued to socialize with her new friends)

(The next day, Lisa was on the boardwalk with her friends as they spend the final day of their vacation before they go back home tomorrow. This time, she was enjoying herself and not because she was pretending to be cool, but because her friends like her for who she is, and the five girls are happy that they found a new friend. That evening, after dinner, Homer and Marge took the kids to the carnival again. Also, all of the kids were enjoying themselves without anyone fighting. Plus, Bart jokingly asks Lisa if she could hook him up with one of her friends and she tells him that it’s never going to happen)

(Earlier the next morning, the Simpsons, Lisa’s friends, and Milhouse were heading back home. While they were doing that, seagulls were flying near the family car, due to them being attracted by the decorations that Lisa’s friends put on it)

Marge: The right thing to do would've been to clean the shells first. Shoo, shoo!

(After the seagulls finally flew away, Homer stops the car near the ocean one last time)

Homer: Well, get a last look at the beautiful ocean scenery, kids.

(Everyone then gets out of the car to take final vacation pictures. First, Homer, Marge, and their kids took some pictures together. Then, Bart and Milhouse took some pictures together. Finally, Lisa and her friends took some pictures together. After they were done, they started heading down the road. Lisa smiles at her friends and they smile back at her. The six were glad that they were able to work things out and look forward to what adventures will be in stores for them. Lisa and her friends moved in together for a group hug, as a sign of unconditional love and support for each other. It also means that no matter what happens, these six girls will always have each other and be there for each other)

The End!

[httplovecraft1890]

Yandere-chan’s Bizarre Adventure (JoJo’s x Yan Sim Crossover Concept)

I’ve got quite a few fic ideas on my plate already but this was floating around my mind the other day. Background

It would begin just after Kira’s initial defeat at the hands of Koichi and Jotaro. However, when Kira makes his escape to Aya Tsuji’s Cinderella beauty salon, rather than finding Kosaku Kawajiri there, his victim is instead Ayano’s dad. The premise being that he and Ryoba had gone vacationing in Morioh (to visit a relative?) for their then honeymoon and he had heard rumors about a woman who could seemingly change one’s face, hoping to escape Ryoba permanently or at least for a little while. Kira escapes just the same from the Joestar gang but now has a new problem on his hands: his current identity is leaving with Ryoba the following day back to Buraza. Quickly discovering Ryoba’s disposition towards being disobeyed, and not wanting to make a scene to potentially attract undue attention, Kira is forced to admit defeat and follow a very pregnant Ryoba home. Yoshikage Kira’s desire for a ‘quiet life’ has been shattered. Seething with the humiliation of being beaten horribly by Star Platinum and Reverb along with being forced to leave his ancestral home Kira tries to blend in in Buraza with Ryoba but finds it impossible to satiate his urges with her constant eye on his behavior. But before he can use Killer Queen’s ability to blow her away it seems that they’ve returned back home in time none too soon as Ryoba goes into labor; with his ‘wife’ weak from giving birth to a daughter, Kira takes out his frustration on his situation by detonating a bomb he placed in her hospital wristband. Brimming with confidence that he is free to begin his life anew as he sees fit Kira is waylaid by Megami’s dad before he has a chance to leave the hospital. Despite the fact that he cannot see Killer Queen, or know that the man in front of him isn’t Ryoba’s old husband, Megami’s dad is convinced that something highly suspicious is going on given that a long term asset of Saikou Corporation’s is now a pile of ash (save for a lone hand) in the maternity ward. On pain of being brought in for ‘questioning,’ Mr. Saikou offers Kira a deal: tell him everything and perhaps they can strike up a business partnership, to which Kira reluctantly agrees. Once all is said and done he is faced with a choice… either submit, watch over the remaining investment (Ayano), and live comfortably to do whatever he’d like or meet as grisly an end as Mr. Saikou’s hired men can imagine. Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth Kira agrees to these terms and waits to arrange Ryoba’s funeral. Meanwhile, the Joestar gang are informed by Reimi Sugimoto that she can no longer feel Kira’s presence. Months go by and the investigation into Kira’s whereabouts bring up dead ends. The logical conclusion, of course, is that Kira has skipped town but they have no clue where to. This is perhaps the part I’m least certain about. I can’t imagine Jotaro or anyone else just giving up on finding Kira, not when they’ve seen what Killer Queen can do, but I’d imagine that they would eventually have to put things on hold. For the sake of canon welding we will go with the idea that this butterfly allows Dio’s and Pucci’s plan to unleash Green Baby on the world is actually stopped here (I’m less clear about the events of Vento Aureo but consider another butterfly being that Giorno never gets a Requiem form for Golden Experience). I think that the Joestar gang actually capturing Yoshihiro for a while also makes sense to try and grill him for information, but he eventually manages to escape, taking the arrow with him to find Kira. I’m less clear at this point on how he manages to find Kira in Buraza but find him he does. Ayano’s childhood is even lonelier than canon. Without her mother to dote on her, and her ‘father’ treating her as a distant afterthought (she becomes nothing more than a lure for victims for Kira as he plays up the ‘single father’ angle), she is left primarily to her own devices and totally rudderless. Kira has no answers for her about her condition and is just as much of an empty shell as she is - or seems to be, at any rate. As such she goes out of her way to befriend others as a means to cope; I’m going with the interpretation she isn’t totally emotionless and more the idea that she is just severely stunted. This is where another big break from canon occurs: there are no rivals. Instead, the cast that would have been Yan Sim’s antagonists are her childhood friends instead; Muja and Mida come later as would-be victims of Kira’s she convinces him to spare. Kira’s luck lets him come out on top once more as Yoshihiro’s ghost’s reappearance into his life, however that comes about, coincides with Joseph Joestar’s death. Unable to track Yoshihiro’s spirit with Purple Hermit the Joestar gang is even more at a loss on how to find the elusive killer. With Yoshihiro’s reappearance, and the entirety of Saikou Corp at his back, Kira settles once more into his ‘quiet life’ even if it’s not quite how he envisioned it. It’s during this time that, surprised that Kira hasn’t found a way to ‘accidentally’ get rid of Ayano, Yoshihiro takes a liking to his ‘granddaughter’.. and whom he will ultimately give a Stand to (Bad Romance) to help ensure Kira stays safe, a fate that will befall all of Ayano’s close friends as well. Now with something in common between the two of them Kira begins to take more of an interest in Ayano, going so far as to become a Lisa Lisa or Joseph figure to her. Ayano latches onto this amount of affection, however, and comes to genuinely care for ‘dad’ and his ‘eccentricities.’ How the Joestar gang would make it to Buraza I’m unclear - I like the idea of Megami being a mole for them so that she can put a stop to Kira’s reign of terror, though with the stipulation they leave Ayano be - but one of the ones who has joined the investigation at this point is Shizuka (it’s a shame Araki… literally did nothing with her character in canon), who becomes a transfer student at Akademi and perhaps even befriends Ayano. Or at least she is until Shizuka befriends a boy, Taro Yamada, who’s managed to bring out intense emotions for her for the first time she can remember… Here’s a hypothetical stand list for Ayano and the rest of the main cast. Ayano Aishi Stand: Bad Romance, Bad Romance Born This Way (Requiem) Bad Romance looks exactly like she does in the Easter egg mode she appears in but her function is different. Rather than being a punchghost like The World or Crazy Diamond she is instead able to master any weapon by virtue of touching it, which includes how best to aim them, how much to grip a handle, etc. Bad Romance Born This Way shows the influence on Ayano’s life she has experienced under Kira it functions similarly to Killer Queen’s Sheer Heart Attack form: it is coated in a nigh impenetrable metal. Osana Najimi Stand: Hot N Cold Effectively what it says on the tin. Despite the fact that Osana can create arcing flames or freeze her enemies on the spot, her biggest downside is the warming up or cooling down periods that have to occur before she becomes combat effective. She is even more vulnerable given that it also takes a considerable amount of time for her to switch between the two. She is arguably the weakest out of all the Stand users in Buraza given the above. Amai Odayaka Stand: Feeling This

Amai’s Stand is probably the most innocuous, at least on a shallow analysis. It can do nothing more than effect the senses and she has mostly used it to enhance the taste buds of those sampling her cooking. However, this is more or less a trap to lull her enemies into a false sense of security. When initiated in combat, Amai will use Feeling This to effectively shut down someone’s five senses, to the point where they are unable to hear, see, or even feel if they’re close to her. In the absence of sensory input the brain will begin to create its own information, leading them to experience intense and vivid hallucinations that if aren’t reversed soon after they take hold can lead to permanent mental scarring. Kizana Sunobu Stand: Come as You Are

Kizana’s Stand does not offer her any offensive capabilities whatsoever but it is extremely powerful nonetheless. Incorporating the as-of-now unexplored ‘persona’ mechanic her Stand allows Kizana to create a powerful illusion that hypnotizes those around her to believe that she is anyone she chooses to imitate - the only catch being that said person must be a woman. This ability has made her indispensable to Ayano as a spy. Oka Ruto Stand: Black Sabbath

Cliche as it might be, Oka’s power involves manipulating shadows, though this is more versatile than one might at first realize. Despite the cute, Heartless-style appearance Oka’s Stand allows her to use shadows a means of teleportation between several locations as well as spying on others.  At night she gains an additional ability, along with making the first two that much stronger, that allows her to use shadow puppetry as a means of attacking others’ shadows - and what happens to them there also effects the person regardless. Asu Rito Stand: Jumpin’ Jack Flash

As a runner Asu’s Stand ability seems quite fitting: it is integrated, and so is not outwardly visible, but it allows her to achieve incredible speeds that few can match. While she might not have enhanced strength, any hit coming at you at about 100 miles per hour is going to be packing a nasty wallop no matter how you slice it. Muja Kina Stand: TLC

Unlike Josuke’s Crazy Diamond, Muja’s Stand can’t actually heal you. Indeed, it actually does the exact opposite (despite its ironic name). Muja is arguably one of the most combat effective Stand users that Ayano’s side has given that her friendly exterior hides an ability that causes decay and rot from the inside out. Though she can only do it one victim at a time, and at a slow rate at that, there’s nothing nastier than having your heart, lungs, or liver slowly shut down on you. Mida Rana Stand: Total Eclipse of the Heart

Ever wonder what mind broken slaves might be like, except even worse? Mida’s Stand has got you covered. Functionally speaking, its ability is on the surface quite simple: it passes along a spiritual virus, of sorts, that sleeps unless its user wills it to manifest. At that point Mida has access to an army of ‘love zombies’ that will heed her beck and call. Pity it only allows the infected to pass it on to only one person after coming down with it themselves. Osoro Shidesu Stand: Eye of the Tiger

Ayano’s enforcer, of sorts, and arguably the physically strongest Stand on her side. Much like Star Platinum, Eye of the Tiger is a Stand whose main ability is to punch things incredibly hard and fast. The secret, however, is that Osoro’s Stand, just like how the Hulk who gets stronger the angrier he becomes, becomes more powerful the more it is hit, storing the kinetic energy to unleash against its opponents. Hanako Yamada Stand: Quiet Riot

If Hanako isn’t upset she can’t summon Quiet Riot. Despite the fact that her Stand is uniquely tied to the emotions she feels at a given time, it would be unwise to not take her very seriously. When she is, watch out, because Hanako’s power revolves around using her voice to create incredibly destructive sound waves. Megami Saikou Stand: She Blinded Me with Science

I’m of two minds as to what Megami’s Stand might do. On the one, it would be traditional to keep one of some of the most powerful enemy Stand’s powers as being time-based; it would be interesting to incorporate ‘resetting’ things like how we can choose to restart a game on a meta level. The problem is that Araki has effectively explored every avenue for time-based powers in JoJo’s and it might not feel that interesting. On the other, perhaps it might be similar to Ayano’s Bad Romance in that She Blinded Me with Science might allow Megami to construct machines from the environment around her at any given moment so long as metal is present. This would allow her a versatility to what she can do and it might be different each time as it depends on what she’d need at any given moment. The only issue is that it doesn’t really feel very ‘grand’ for someone who is meant to be strongest opponent Ayano could face in canon. So… thoughts? I’d be interested to see if anyone had any ideas on how to expand parts of the plot, what Taro’s Stand might look like, or anything else you could think of. 

[pingou7]

A car, two cops and a stardust — a RebelCaptain road trip fic

by @pingou7 pingou  for @thestarbirdfromtheashes Starbird

(aka the Road trip fic Diego Luna’s filmography made me write)

Read and enjoy, and please consider leaving me a few words.

Summary:

As the dusty roads criss under Kes Dameron’s old car, Cassian Andor lets the wind mess with his hair through the open window. Dust, sunshine, laughter, its easy to recapture the taste of days long gone.

(…)

At a gas station near Corpus Chirsti, when they climb back after taking a piss, both jump out of their skins as a random brunette, eyes thunderous, hisses dangerously from the backseat:

"Just pretend I'm not here."

UPDATE: Part 2 is up! Read on AO3 (or under the cut)

Part 2 — From Texas to Las Cruces, NM. Day 1

“So you're going to Mexico?” Jyn frowns, “But you still plan to drive all the way to San Diego? Doesn't that make a good detour?”

“Yep, more than three thousands miles in all, and around forty eight hours of driving, with only four or five stops in between. We're pretty stubborn like that.”

It's obvious she tries to envision the travel ahead, but it's true that from an outsider’s point of view, the trip in itself doesn't make much sense. If she's to stay with them, then, there's no harm in sharing little bits of information. Seeing Kes is focused on his driving and not inclined to volunteer — for once —  Cassian cranks his neck to look at her, preparing to be as concise as possible:

“You're obviously allowed to drop out whenever you wish, Jyn. We promised to turn up to San Diego, to visit an old aunt before our usual stay at Bernal in the state of Querétaro. We were born there, so we usually spend a few days, enjoying the sights, the food, visit the cemetery or attend mass... that sort of thing.”

“Are you religious?” she asks, playing with some kind of rough crystal around her neck.

"Not really,” Kes answers because Cassian never really knows what to say, “we're doing stuff out of habit I guess. One time, we rolled over a vulture so Cassian buried it and I lit a candle. Wished it a better journey to the afterlife. My wife gave us shit about it, but the woman who raised us was really... spiritual and set in her ways."

“You're not related though?”

“No,” Cassian says tersely, wanting them to drop the subject, because yes, not only is he chivalrous, paranoid and superstitious, but he's also not ready to expose his nonexistent family history.

“I understand. Biologically I'm an only child, but Bodhi is my brother.”

Not her boyfriend then, though the information shouldn't make any difference to him. She doesn't elaborate on her life, and Cassian doesn't feel like prying — not right away, that is — but he  still plans to involve Kay if she stays mysterious. Kes turns off the radio completely, which doesn't bode well for her: with a driving session of more than ten hours ahead, it means that he expects his passengers to fill the silence… finally Andor would gladly take back his questionable love songs.

“So, Jyn. Mind if we chat a bit? If we are to spend the next two days together — at least — then we have to cover the basics.”

Smooth, Dameron, Cassian mouths drily, and Kes offers him an half-smile in return. Jyn isn't fooled either and her breath is close enough to reach Cassian's neck somehow, as she bends forward in the middle:

“Do we now, officer?” her wry accent — British, he surmises — bringing Kay to mind, but the tone is far too playful to be his.

“It's Sergeant Kes Dameron and Captain Cassian Andor, actually.”

“I thought you were on vacation though, and I'm in no mood for an interrogation.”

“C’mon, it's not as bad as that. We're road tripping so, let's just say we're gonna play a good old game of twenty questions, to get to know each other.”

“Your car, your rules, but I can refuse to answer whenever I wish.”

She throws a hard bargain, but it's better than nothing, so Cassian concedes:

“That's fair, but no lying.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“What did you want to do when you were a kid?”

If she'd expected to identify herself right away, she’s mistaken. Even on the fly, they're good at their job, especially Cassian, and eventually they will succeed at cracking her shell. For now they can have fun.

“I wanted to be an Astrophysicist,” she smiles — despite appearances, she's a brainy one then, and it's oddly specific for that not to be a clue. “You?”

“Kes wanted to be a singer, and I a dancer.”

“We would have been great as a two men band too, we even had a name: los Charolastras,” Dameron adds so wistfully she lets out a little chuckle. “My son is four, he wants to be a pilot.”

“My brother is one, he's the pilot,” she volunteers, like there's something funny about the words. “So, my turn, Charolastras, what food can't you stand?”

“Why? Do you plan on cooking us something as a thanks?”

“Or poison us and go on your merry way?”

“You really are paranoid, you know,” she mumbles, looking at Cassian with narrowed eyes through the mirror. “Just seemed a harmless question to me. Mine is mushrooms.”

“Avocado,” Cassian spits out while Kes sighs.

“Please don't get him started on his hate for avocados, Guacamole included, and yes, we're still Mexicans by birth. It borders on obsession. I don't have food I particularly dislike. Okay, Middle name.”

She doesn't answer instantly — too close, too soon then — but to their surprise, she says:

“I tend to change if I need to, but since you know my name is Jyn, I'll just say I'm biologically named after my mother and leave it as that.”

Well, she's not avoiding the question and likely not lying either, so Kes smiles appreciatively as he answers:

“Mine is Rodrigo and Cassian's is Jerón. Your turn, cabrón.”

“What's your nickname?”

“I don't have one these days. My friends call me little sister, my guardian used to call me child, when he felt particularly warm, but… my parents, they called me Stardust.”

There's a mine of information here, from the order she gave to the way she phrased it and even the nickname themselves. Cassian commits it all to memory before he replies:

“I hate being called Cass, so naturally Kes and his wife call me that frequently.”

“When we were boys, in Bernal, some called you rudo, while I was cursí, remember? Hated that. Cass and Kes-adillas sounds better.”

It's absurd, but it makes everyone snigger. The question game keeps the conversation flowing, she's sassy and overall drier than Shara, and despite the situation, they are relatively clicking together, or at least they make the most of it. The drive towards San Diego is surprisingly going well, as the sun goes slowly down while they're crossing the whole of Texas.

Of course they are suspicious, but they can't force her to spill the beans or she’s sure to bolt at the nearest occasion. Cassian has taken on low-key texting Kay with the few pieces of information she'd shared — in case he could be more talkative than she is — between succinct updates to Shara on their progress.

As he gets tired, Kes is a little less easygoing though: he underestimated Jyn, he had not talked to his son since they left, and he worries about how they're gonna find things in San Diego. She seems to detect the tension slowly growing, perhaps because she's unsettled too, up to the point she admits Kes shouldn't make such a face, since she hasn't done anything truly reprehensible to them, so far:

“Technically, we could arrest you for trespassing and assault on two officers. But fate brought us together, so it will have to hold.”

“Great. I've already have too many things on my plate already. And for the record, I may have ‘popped up on your back seat’ but I have assaulted neither of you… yet.”

That gets a smile out of the guys, and Kes resumes on humming. Another quarter with the radio back on, and she dozes until they reach Las Cruces in New Mexico around 2AM. By then they are sore and Kes keeps grumbling about his burning eyes and the fact that Shara has most likely been asleep for ages along with Poe. Cassian, for one, is more than ready to take his place, because he keeps imagining who could chase her and her father. Kay said he wouldn't respond to any more texts of his as long as he has no further details to provide — not to mention he should respect his privacy, if not that of the fugitive.

After a quick stop at a drive-thru (Jyn keeps her head down and only takes a chocolate milkshake and a doughnut, that she pays cash) they switch places, Kes spreading himself in the back and closing his eyes.

Andor takes the wheel, almost feeling young again, adjusting the rear view mirror with the tiny dream catcher, a souvenir from almost another lifetime. Only there's a woman in the passenger seat, and up close, he can almost see her vibrate with tension, her eyes clearly betraying how on edge she still is. He knows she's into rock, while he's more a folk person — curtesy of the game — so he wants to let her chose the station. More than gallantry, he counts on the soothing effects of a music that's not as atrocious as Dameron’s playlist. She politely declines, almost demurely, and while she stares at his cell phone a bit too long, she refuses it also.

“Bodhi needs his sleep and I should stick to a minimum of contact, Captain.”

“It tempts you though, if you want, you can borrow Dameron’s phone this time, if it secures you.”

“I have two cops basically escorting me, for all intents and purposes, so I’m more secure right now than I’ve been since I was a child. It’s him I worry about. But it’s nice of you to offer, the phone and letting me tag along. I appreciate it more than you know.”

“Then I wouldn’t mind knowing exactly why you’re so appreciative.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t,” Jyn smiles, but there’s no amusement behind it, “the thing is... it’s bigger than two cops and a crappy car can protect me from.”

Cassian frowns at her certainty, but doesn’t insist. Perhaps she’s right, and if not, he and Kes could persuade her, eventually. There’s still time (he doesn’t need a GPS app to know they are approximately again 10 hours away from their Californian check point) before whatever will happen next.

Once in San Diego, maybe Jyn will disappear as suddenly as she first appeared. Maybe once Kes and him will have seen Tía, it won’t matter anyway. Maybe Shara will forever regret she did not accompany them. Either way, the answer awaits on the other side of the country, so he drives on the I-8 and hopes for the best. An inner voice that sounds a lot like Kay’s pops up likely but unpleasant scenarios at each road sign though. Kes being out for the foreseeable future means that he cannot balance his tendency to overthink things.

The city lights dance on her face every time he steals a glance at her. But, judging on her faraway yet awake demeanor, he’s not the only one silently berating himself. Nobody turned on the radio but the silence is awfully loud in the car. He knows Kes is sleeping but he doesn’t snore — Shara is pretty lucky, he guesses — yet Cassian wouldn’t mind to have some other sound besides the motor. It could be a subject of mockery, if nothing else, perhaps some more goofing, even at Kes’s expense, would ease her mind, and his in turn.

She musts be exhausted — who knows what she was doing and where was she coming from before he insisted on picking her up? — but her posture stays rigid even as her head starts to droop repeatedly.

“Jyn, you can sleep a bit, I’m the king of driving by night, you’re safe, I promise.”

“I’m never safe,” she mumbles closing her eyes, “but just in case, wake me up before you get sleepy too. I’d hate to die like this.”

“Now, who’s paranoid?”

She can’t even muster a response, and he turns the radio on mellow songs, low enough so he wouldn’t wake anyone, but it’s better than listening to his own thoughts. Cassian likes driving at night, he doesn’t need much sleep anyway and the traffic is lessened, even on such frequented highway. Next to him, she jolts awake after some time though, frowning sleepily.

“What’s wrong?”

“‘m cold.”

With a multi pocketed but sleeveless vest and a mere camisole, he would be too. Then again, he gets cold relatively easily, so he replies:

“Look Jyn, turn around and take my jacket, the blue fur coated one. I don’t need it. The car heater is not good and I’m not sure it would be safe to use.”

“If you’re sure you won’t need it, thanks.”

“No problem.”

She puts it on stiffly, the brawl at the Texan gas station plus so many hours sitting in a car likely taking their toll on her. The back of her hand hits his briefly on the driving stick and it’s like a jolt of electricity again.

She sighs — maybe it’s not just one sided then, and she’s feeling too? — snuggle in a bit beside him, and he finds this kind of cute. Then he wants to slap himself at how infatuated this looks like, but her eyes are already beginning to flutter. She’s still struggling anyhow, not the type to surrender easily, until Cassian feels obliged to say:

“Don’t be stubborn, just lie down across the seat.”

“Aye Captain,” she grumbles making him smile.

[howtonothatepeople2017-blog]

Some Weeks Just Suck (Sparky)

All right, everyone. I know this is all supposed to be about positivity and liking people, but this week has been shitty. Work’s been making me grumpy. I’ve had nightmares about a certain Australian, which makes me hate her more, and also about my grandmother dying all over again, which brings up a lot of guilt and anger. And that makes me really really hate people. So I’m going to give myself the privilege of a good rant before I attempt something more positive. The following is my shit list. 

1. Assholes who don’t make complete stops at stop signs. Instead, they keep inching forward while you’re crossing the street, and you’re forced to run for it because it feels like they’re about to mow you down. Assholes, HOLD YOUR HORSES. IT’S FUCKING DANGEROUS TO BE DOING THAT SHIT.

2. People who don’t move to the back of a crowded bus. Everyone congregates around the doors and people can’t get in or get out. People, do you not see all that nice empty space in the back? MOVE.

3. Oblivious pedestrians who suddenly stop in the middle of the street. They could be checking a map, texting, answering a phone call, talking to someone, whatever. If you stop in the middle of a busy street, you interrupt the flow and cause even worse traffic. My mom used to do this and I hated it and had to drag her to the side. It’s inconsiderate and annoys the fuck out of everyone else. 

4. I accidentally stepped on a girl’s foot while waiting to cross the street. I apologized and all she did was look at me. FINE. IF YOU DON’T WANT MY APOLOGY, I TAKE IT BACK, YOU RUDE INGRATE. 

5. “Misha,” who doesn’t recycle. She recycles paper but not cans or bottles or anything else because it’s “too much trouble.” I shamed her. She deserved it. She also gave me a look when I wanted to the buy the more expensive cage-free eggs. I hate her. 

6. The guy upstairs who doesn’t break apart his cardboard boxes and just sticks the entire thing into the recycling bin, leaving no room for the rest of us. I have to take the thing out and break it apart for him. Okay, I don’t actually hate him. He’s a nice guy. I just hate what he does.

7. The shit my parents do and say.

8. Rocky, who thinks I’m too mild and don’t get angry enough. Ironically, she has anger management problems. Also ironically, I am very angry at her and almost hate her. 

9. Penelope’s CEO who demeaned her after her presentation yesterday. Girl’s got enough on her plate. She doesn’t need some asshole superior making her feel worse. 

10. People who throw perfectly good food away. What a waste. Do they not know how many people in this world are starving? Do they not know the tremendous amount of food Americans waste per day? I’m reminded of this one kid in middle school who tossed an uneaten apple into the trash because she didn’t want to eat what her mom had packed her. I hated her then and I hate her now. I hate whoever gave her the idea that it’s okay to do such a thing.

11. My dad’s freeloading family. His mother, my grandmother (not the dead one) is stuck in a nursing home after some stroke-related incident because nobody is willing to take her in. She’s got five kids and a bunch of grandchildren who are all perfectly capable of caring for her. A lot of them don’t even work. She hates the nursing home and throws fits about wanting to leave, but the care facility won’t release her until they know someone’s going to be responsible for her. Growing up, my grandmother hated me, so I hated her too. I still believe she dislikes me, and I’m at best lukewarm towards her. But she is very clearly depressed and if she doesn’t get out soon, she might very well die. I hate it when death is very obviously preventable, but it couldn’t be because of others’ selfishness. 

Okay, I’m done. That needed to happen. Now that’s out of the way, I feel better about moving on to positive stuff. And I only have one today but I’m trying. 

At the Meetup on Monday, the hosts asked what’s on my travel bucket list for 2017. I said Africa, preferably Morocco or South Africa, but really, I just need to get to Africa. Turns out two people just dropped out of their Namibian safari trip in February. They gave me a brochure, and for a day or two, I actually considered going. In the end, it didn’t feel quite right because it was too much of a luxury vacation, and that’s not what I’m interested in right now. I wanted to travel with more purpose. This motivated me to look more into volunteer opportunities abroad. I’d been vaguely searching for a month or two now, but I actually bookmarked a few programs tonight. There are actually a ton of organizations and programs, so many that it’s difficult to choose. There is a fee, but it’s well worth it, and lodging and food are all paid for. 

Lesson: The fact that there are so many of these opportunities out there is encouraging. People actually want to volunteer and make the world a better place. They actually want to shell out money to work for free. Plus, some people care enough to start organizations geared toward volunteer travelers. Maybe humanity isn’t so crummy after all.