#also idk about the quote?? like if it's grammatically correct????

[eirxair]

of mice and men quotes- Curley's Wife Edition.

'Curely's Wife'- we never learn her name in the novel. make sure to point out the possessive on 'Curley's' to show that she's seen as Curley's property and nothing more in the novel.

'A girl...' -the first thing used to describe CW (Curley's Wife) is the word 'girl' this highlights how young she is. Make up some bullshit about Steinbeck choosing to put 'A girl' first in the sentence structure emphasises this.

'Her fingernails were red' this shows that she is 'done up' and cares about her appearance. make sure to point out the colour red and its association with danger and passion. 'Colour imagery'

'little sausage curls' -again bullshit. say that the use of the word 'little' highlights her youth and naivety.

'I was on'y fifteen' - point out that this is dialogue. the use of the word 'only' highlights just how young she was when she met Curley.

'Strung up a tree' -CW says this to threaten Crooks in chapter 4. Make sure to bring this up in any argument that she's not a victim. She uses her social standing and power as a white woman over Crooks. This shows that she's racist.

'Lousy Old Sheep' - CW says this about Candy in chapter 4, shows ageism ig, bring up the word 'lousy' and say that she thinks Candy is useless because he's only got one hand and is old. Say she's ableist and ageist for this one in an arguement that she's not a victim/pitiable/ whatever the question is.

'pitchers' 'tenament' - these two are going together for colloquialism. 'Pitchers' or 'Pictures' shows that she really did have a dream of being a movie star, and wont achieve it. idk about 'tenement' for 'tournament' just say that she wasnt that well educated or something seeing as she was super young when she met Curley.

'he ain't a nice guy' -CW says this somewhere in the book either chapter 5 or 4. anyway, bring up the fact that 'ain't' also isnt grammatically correct, but makes the dialogue feel more natural and vulnerable. bring up the word 'nice' and say that its a very bland descripter, perhaps showing that she's in denial of her situation and doesn't want to admit it.

'jailbait' 'tart' - CW gets called a lot of derogatory and misogynistic terms and insults by the men on the ranch. bring up the fact that 'bait' and 'tart' can be food to show that she's objectified and villainised for her sexuality. 'she got the eye' can also be used.

'cathouse' - where Curley goes. Show the double standard of CW being called a tart for acting provocative while Curley goes to the cathouse every week say that Curley cheats on his wife, but CW is blamed for acting provocative, because of a miosgynistic double standard.

'flopped like a fish' -bring up the aliteration. say that the aliteration emphasises the violence of the scene and perhaps shows that she's suffocating like a fish out of water. say that she must have been really scared. just be emotive with it. BRING UP THE FACT ITS A SIMILE.

just reach and pick out words bro idk.

[strwberieswsugar]

every line, every curve, every scrape of the pen is a little piece of me that translates on paper

[pumpkinpaix]

hello there, hope you're having a nice day <3

so i've been reading a lot of fics lately, uk for sanity's sake, and i've noticed that in most of them, lwj doesn't use contractions (eg., says do not instead of don't)?? and i think he doesn't in the novel either but i don't remember lol so i can't be sure but anyway that made me curious - does chinese have contractions as well? does he not use it bc it's informal?

hello there! I’m doing all right, i started to answer this ask while waiting for a jingyeast loaf to come out of the oven 😊 many thanks to @bookofstars for helping me look over/edit/correct this post!! :D

anyways! the answer to your questions are complicated (of course it is when is anything simple with me), so let’s see if I can break it down--you’re asking a) whether chinese has contractions, b) if it does, how does they change the tone of the sentence--is it similar to english or no?, and c) how does this all end up with lan wangji pretty much never using contractions in english fic/translation?

I’m gonna start by talking about how formality is (generally) expressed in each language, and hopefully, by the end of this post, all the questions will have been answered in one way or another. so: chinese and english express variations in formality/register differently, oftentimes in ways that run contrary to one another. I am, as always, neither a linguist nor an expert in chinese and english uhhh sociological grammar? for lack of a better word. I’m speaking from my own experience and knowledge :D

so with a character like lan wangji, it makes perfect sense in english to write his dialogue without contractions, as contractions are considered informal or colloquial. I don’t know if this has changed in recent years, but I was always taught in school to never use contractions in my academic papers.

However! not using contractions necessarily extends the length of the sentence: “do not” takes longer to say than “don’t”, “cannot” is longer than “can’t” etc. in english, formality is often correlated with sentence length: the longest way you can say something ends up sounding the most formal. for a very simplified example, take this progression from least formal to absurdly formal:

whatcha doin’?

what’re you doing?

what are you doing? [standard colloquial]

may I ask what you are doing?

might I inquire as to what you are doing?

excuse me, but might I inquire as to what you are doing?

pardon my intrusion, but might I inquire as to what you are doing?

please pardon my intrusion, but might inquire as to the nature of your current actions?

this is obviously a somewhat overwrought example, but you get the point. oftentimes, the longer, more complex, more indirect sentence constructions indicate a greater formality, often because there is a simultaneous decreasing of certainty. downplaying the speaker’s certainty can show deference (or weakness) in english, while certainty tends to show authority/confidence (or aggression/rudeness).

different words also carry different implications of formality—in the example, I switched “excuse me” to “pardon me” during one of the step ups. pardon (to me at least) feels like a more formal word than “excuse”. Similarly, “inquire” is more formal than “ask” etc. I suspect that at least some of what makes one word seem more formal than one of its synonyms has to do with etymology. many of english’s most formal/academic words come from latin (which also tends to have longer words generally!), while our personal/colloquial words tend to have germanic origins (inquire [latin] vs ask [germanic]).

you’ll also notice that changing a more direct sentence structure (“may I ask what”) to a more indirect one (“might I inquire as to”) also jumps a register. a lot of english is like this — you can complicate simple direct sentences by switching the way you use the verbs/how many auxiliaries you use etc.

THE POINT IS: with regards to english, more formal sentence structures are often (not always) longer and more indirect than informal ones. this leads us to a problem with a character like lan wangji.

lan wangji is canonically very taciturn. if he can express his meaning in two words rather than three, then he will. and chinese allows for this—in extreme ways. if you haven’t already read @hunxi-guilai’s post on linguistic register (in CQL only, but it’s applicable across the board), I would start there because haha! I certainly do Not have a degree in Classical Chinese lit and she does a great job. :D

you can see from the examples that hunxi chose that often, longer sentences tend to be more informal in chinese (not always, which I’ll circle back to at the end lol). Colloquial chinese makes use of helping particles to indicate tone and meaning, as is shown in wei wuxian’s dialogue. and, as hunxi explained, those particles are largely absent from lan wangji’s speech pattern. chinese isn’t built of “words” in the way English is—each character is less a word and more a morpheme—and the language allows for a lot of information to be encoded in one character. a single character can often stand for a phrase within a sentence without sacrificing either meaning or formality. lan wangji makes ample use of this in order to express himself in the fewest syllables possible.

so this obviously leads to an incongruity when trying to translate his dialogue or capture his voice in English: shorter sentences are usually more direct by nature, and directness/certainty is often construed as rudeness -- but it might seem strange to see lan wangji’s dialogue full of longer sentences while the narration explicitly says that he uses very short sentences. so what happens is that many english fic writers extrapolated this into creating an english speech pattern for lan wangji that reads oddly. they’ll have lan wangji speak in grammatically incoherent fragments that distill his intended thought because they’re trying to recreate his succinctness. unfortunately, English doesn’t have as much freedom as Chinese does in this way, and it results in lan wangji sounding as if he has some kind of linguistic impediment and/or as if he’s being unspeakably rude in certain situations. In reality, lan wangji’s speech is perfectly polite for a young member of the gentry (though he’s still terribly rude in other ways lol). he speaks in full, and honestly, quite eloquent sentences.

hunxi’s post already has a lot of examples, but I figure I’ll do one as well focused on the specifics of this post.

I’m going to use this exchange from chapter 63 between the twin jades because I think it’s a pretty simple way to illustrate what I’m talking about:

蓝曦臣道：“你亲眼所见？”

蓝忘机道：“他亲眼所见。”

蓝曦臣道：“你相信他？”

蓝忘机道：“信。”

[...] 蓝曦臣道：“那么金光瑶呢？”

蓝忘机道：“不可信。”

my translation:

Lan Xichen said, “You saw it with your own eyes?”

Lan Wangji said, “He saw it with his own eyes.”

Lan Xichen said, “You believe him?”

Lan Wangji said, “I believe him.”

[...] Lan Xichen said, “Then what about Jin Guangyao?”

Lan Wangji said, “He cannot be believed.”

you can see how much longer the (pretty literal) english translations are! every single line of dialogue is expanded because things that can be omitted in chinese cannot be omitted in english without losing grammatical coherency. i‘ll break a few of them down:

Lan Xichen’s first line:

你 (you) 亲眼 (with one’s own eyes) 所 (literary auxiliary) 见 (met/saw)？

idk but i love this line a lot lmao. it just has such an elegant feel to me, probably because I am an uncultured rube. anyways, you see here that he expressed his full thought in five characters.

if I were to rewrite this sentence into something much less formal/much more modern, I might have it become something like this:

你是自己看见的吗？

你 (you) 是 (to be) 自己 (oneself) 看见 (see) 的 (auxiliary) 吗 (interrogative particle)？

i suspect that this construction might even be somewhat childish? I’ve replaced every single formal part of the sentence with a more colloquial one. instead of 亲眼 i’ve used 自己, instead of 所见 i’ve used 看见的 and then also added an interrogative particle at the end for good measure (吗). To translate this, I would probably go with “Did you see it yourself?”

contained in this is also an example of how one character can represent a whole concept that can also be represented with two characters: 见 vs 看见. in this example, both mean “to see”. we’ll see it again in the next example as well:

in response to lan xichen’s, “you believe him?” --> 你 (you) 相信 (believe) 他 (him)? lan wangji answers with, “信” (believe).

chinese does not do yes or no questions in the same way that english does. there is no catch-all for yes or no, though there are general affirmative (是／有) and negative (不／没) characters. there are other affirmative/negative characters, but these are the ones that I believe are the most common and also the ones that you may see in response to yes or no questions on their own. (don’t quote me on that lol)

regardless, the way you respond to a yes or no question is often by repeating the verb phrase either in affirmative or negative. so here, when lan xichen asks if lan wangji believes wei wuxian, lan wangji responds “believe”. once again, you can see that one character can stand in for a concept that may also be expressed in two characters: 信 takes the place of 相信. lan wangji could have responded with “相信” just as well, but, true to his character, he didn’t because he didn’t need to. this is still a complete sentence. lan wangji has discarded the subject (I), the object (him), and also half the verb (相), and lost no meaning whatsoever. you can’t do this in english!

and onto the last exchange:

lan xichen: 那么 (then) 金光瑶 (jin guangyao) 呢 (what about)？

lan wangji: 不可 (cannot) 信 (believe)

you can actually see the contrast between the two brothers’ speech patterns even in this. lan xichen’s question is not quite as pared down as it could be. if it were wangji’s line instead, I would expect it to read simply “金光瑶呢？” which would just be “what about jin guangyao?” 那么 isn’t necessary to convey the core thought -- it’s just as how “then what about” is different than “what about”, but “then” is not necessary to the central question. if we wanted to keep the “then” aspect, you could still cut out 么 and it would be the same meaning as well.

a FINAL example of how something can be cut down just because I think examples are helpful:

“I don’t know” is usually given as 我不知道. (this is what nie huaisang says lol) It contains subject (我) and full verb (知道). you can pare this straight down to just 不知 and it would mean the same thing in the correct context. i think most of the characters do this at least once? it sounds more literary -- i don’t know that i would ever use it in everyday speech, but the fact remains that it’s a possibility. both could be translated as “I do not know” and it would be accurate.

ANYWAYS, getting all the way back to one of your original questions: does chinese have contractions? and the answer is like... kind of...?? but not really. there’s certainly slang/dialect variants that can be used in ways that are reminiscent of english contractions. the example I’m thinking of is the character 啥 (sha2) which can be used as slang in place of 什么 (shen2 me). (which means “what”)

so for a standard sentence of, 你在做什么? (what are you doing), you could shorten down to just 做啥? and the second construction is less formal than the first, but they mean the same thing.

other slang i can think of off the top of my head: 干嘛 (gan4 ma2) is also informal slang for “what are you doing”. and i think this is a regional thing, but you can also use 搞 (gao3) and 整 (zheng3) to mean “do” as well.

so in the same way that you can replace 什么 with 啥, you can replace 做 as well to get constructions like 搞啥 (gao3 sha2) and 整啥 (zheng3 sha2).

these are all different ways to say “what are you doing” lmao, and in this case, shorter is not, in fact, more formal.

woo! we made it to the end! I hope it was informative and helpful to you anon. :D

this is where I would normally throw my ko-fi, but instead, I’m actually going to link you to this fundraising post for an old fandom friend of mine. her house burned down mid-september and they could still use help if anyone can spare it! if this post would have moved you to buy me a ko-fi, please send that money to her family instead. :) rbs are also appreciated on the post itself. (* ´▽` *)

anyways, here’s the loaf jingyeast made :3 it was very tasty.

[poisoned-peppermint]

Part 3 of incorrect quotes because people liked the other ones

~~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Bad: Aren't you forgetting something?

Skeppy: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Bad's forehead before running out.*

Bad: No, pay your bill! Dang it, who raised you? 

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Well, Skeppy and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Bad: That's right... We kissed!

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: I love you.

Bad, not paying attention: What was that?

Skeppy: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: You’re not jealous, are you?

Bad: No!

Skeppy: Good, ‘cause I consider my fake relationship with you a lot more meaningful. 

~~~~~~~~

*Bad and Skeppy are in Paris.*

Bad: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny?

Skeppy: But...

Bad: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and...

Skeppy: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?

Bad: Yeah.

Skeppy: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe.

Bad: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION.

Skeppy: Okay, alright

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Skeppy: Hi, I’m ‘things’

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Are you sure Bad's even gay? They barely even looked at me.

~~~~~~~

Bad: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Skeppy: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Bad: But you’re always acting stupid?

Skeppy: ...

Skeppy: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

Skeppy: Aww-

Bad: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

~~~~~~~

Bad: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found

~~~~~~~

Bad: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?

Skeppy: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?

Bad: Yes.

Skeppy: I'd sleep.

~~~~~~~~

Bad, to Skeppy: We had a date!

Bad: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*

~~~~~~~~

Bad, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way. 

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: That was so hot, Bad.

Bad: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenerate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

Skeppy: I'm so in love with you

~~~~~~~~

Dream: Where's Sapnap, Skeppy, and Bad?

George: They're playing hide and seek.

Dream: Where?

George: I don't think you get how this game works.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Good morning.

Bad: Good morning.

Sapnap: Good morning.

George: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Dream: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS! 

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

George: Several traffic violations.

Dream: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Bad: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Quackity: Also, that’s not our car.

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??

Quackity: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

Bad: Why were you microwaving a lemon???

Quackity: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.

Karl: Did you burn an orange too? How???

Quackity: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

~~~~~~

Tommy: Is stabbing someone immoral? Techno: Not if they consent to it. Wilbur: Depends who you’re stabbing. Phil: YES?!?

~~~~~~~

Tommy: *Screams*

Wilbur: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Phil: Should we do something?

Techno: No, I want to see who wins.

~~~~~~~

Phil: Wake me up…

Techno: Before you go go!

Wilbur: When September ends…

Tommy: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

~~~~~~~

Tommy: Techno isn’t answering their phone

Phil: I’ll call

Tommy: Wilbur and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Techno: Hello?

~~~~~~~

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Phil: Shit.

Techno: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Wilbur: OH MY GOD TOMMY FELL OFF!!!

~~~~~~~

Tommy: ARE YOU-

Wilbur: Fucking.

Tommy: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Wilbur:Fucking.

Tommy: IDIOT!

Techno: …What was that?

Wilbur: Phil banned Tommy from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

~~~~~~~

Wilbur: *tapping fingers on table*

Techno: *taps fingers back furiously*

Tommy: …What’s going on?

Phil: Morse code. They’re talking.

Wilbur: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … -

Techno: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK! 

~~~~~~~

Tommy: I'm bored.

Techno: Wanna commit first degree murder?

Tommy: Sure!

Phil, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Wilbur down!!

~~~~~~~

Wilbur: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Phil. They're mad at you.

Phil: No, it's Tommy. They're just being grammatically correct!

*meanwhile*

Tommy: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them.

Techno: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.

Tommy: I stand by my choice.

~~~~~~~

Wilbur: Phil, we're hungry!

Techno: Phil! What's for dinner?

Tommy: We're hungry, Phil!

Phil, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams* 

~~~~~~~

Wilbur, writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass."

Wilbur: THERE. Now send it.

Tommy:: Dude, your handwriting is terrible, are you sure you want to-

Wilbur: JUST DO IT!

later

Phil: So what does it say?

Techno, reading the letter: They say they're going to "lick my...."

Phil:

Techno:

Phil: Gross- 

~~~~~~~

Quackity: Karl, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?

Karl: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later

Quackity: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Sapnap.

~~~~~~~

Quackity: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Karl: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Quackity: Yes!

Sapnap: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

~~~~~~~

Quackity: Sapnap and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Karl: *Sighing* What did Sapnap do?

Quackity: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Sapnap: Who wants a steering wheel?

~~~~~~~

Quackity: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Karl: Wasn't Sapnap with you?

Sapnap: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised. 

~~~~~~~~

Sapnap: Karl you can’t move in with Quackity. Karl: Why not? Sapnap: Well, um, how are you going to feel when they see you without any makeup? Karl: I’m not wearing makeup right now. Sapnap: Holy crap, you’re beautiful.

~~~~~~~

Sapnap: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look?

Quackity: Like its slips on and off really easily.

Sapnap:

Quackity: No, I didn't mean it like that-

Karl: We know what you meant. 

~~~~~~~

Quackity: I didn't drink that much last night.

Karl: You were flirting with Sapnap.

Quackity: So what? They're my Husband.

Karl: You asked if they were single.

Karl: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

~~~~~~~

Karl: Why doesn’t Sapnap find me sexy when I bite my lip?

Quackity: What do you look like when you bite your lip?

Karl: *bites lip*

Quackity: ...Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead? 

~~~~~~~

Bad: Are you trying to seduce me?

Skeppy: Why, are you seducible?

~~~~~~~

Bad: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Skeppy: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Bad: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Skeppy: Is it working? 

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Relationships should be 50/50. Bad cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty. 

~~~~~~~

Bad: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...

Skeppy: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

~~~~~~~

Bad: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart.

Skeppy: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything. 

~~~~~~~

Bad: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Skeppy: I wrote you a poem.

Bad, already crying: You did?

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: This date is boring!

Bad: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Skeppy: Then why did you invite me?

Bad: I didn't, I specifically said "don't come with me" then you said " screw you Bad I'll do whatever I want!

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Bad: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Skeppy: Holy moly- 

~~~~~~~

Bad: I owe you one.

Skeppy: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even. 

~~~~~~~~

If this does as well as the others I’ll make another.

[galaxysquidcat]

Small rant. But if you have snap chat you’ve probably been getting ads for the movie “the fallout” a week ago I was getting an ad that said “this contains triggering content” and it allowed you to skip it. I did because I don’t want to see triggering content. Now it’s just been playing the ad and doesn’t allow you to skip it, and it’s straight up just a close up of a girl having a panic attack, and guess what?!?! It’s triggering to me, and really stresses me out. This is my main complaint and if anyone knows of a way I can contact snap chat to get it removed from my page please let me know.

More rant about the ad. It makes it’s self as “the first defining movie of gen-z” which I feel is incredibly tone deaf considering their entire disregard for trigger warnings or displaying triggering content anyways. The ad doesn’t tell you anything about the movie. It’s just a panic attack. Also how fucking pretentious are these people to where they have reduced gen-z solely to our (kinda warranted) mental health problems, especially to such a flat portrayal that lacks nuance and any sort of discussion on causes etc. Gen z has media we relate to already. We’ve been a market and tv demographic for a while now and there are shows that do good portrayals of mental health and gen z struggles. I personally related to “Young Royals” a lot, but theres plenty of stuff. Although I haven’t watched it, my friends really like “Euphoria” and some of them really related to the first season (and this is before any of them had done drugs or vaped) so Euphoria I think really did hit an emotional chord with a lot of younger people even if it wasn’t in a literal panic attack sort of way. Lastly there are other things to gen-z than panic attack and drugs and this movies assertion that they are a defining movie because of it is offensive and ignores all of the positive and new things regarding creativity and sexuality and gender identity etc that gen z brings to the table.

(“” quotes are just used to offset titles, Idk if they’re grammatically correct)

[waywardfacegarden]

Hey there! I saw that "ask me about my fic" post and thought I'd ask some questions!! Specifically regarding your "The sun is too bright, it hurts" one; questions 1, 3, 4, 7 and 8? 👀

Hello there!!! First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING, YOU’RE SO NICE!!!!! ;---; Honestly, I love you so much.

Second of all, AAAAAH, THAT FIC. I really love that one, is one of the first works I did for my boys!!!! I have a soft spot for it. (That said, I actually reread it to answer this LOL, because as much as I remembered a lot of it, I also didn’t remember a lot of specifc dialog/narration of it, haha.)

Answers under the cut because I, somehow, managed to do this unnecessarily long, LOL. I’m sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you don’t mind me babbling a lot about my own fic, haha.

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

Well, I was inspired to write that AU because I’m weak for the idea of Sasuke and Naruto being childhood friends!! Haha. And I just easily pictured them growing up together with their families being friends. It’s something that I think would happen in a modern au, and I really wanted to explore the relationship of two people growing up together, being there in all of their different phases (and the challenge of having to write them at different ages, because as much as the essence of who they are is the same, they don’t act exactly the same, you know?), knowing each other better than anyone else. They would come to love every single one of the aspects that makes them them; like, even if something must be annoying, it’s endearing for the other at this point, and I find that very tender and soft.

As for the way that it’s written, I find it easier to guide myself while writing if I divide the story in “short stories/scenes”, so that’s why it’s like that (if you look at my fics, I always “divide” my stories, haha). I also really like the narrative that goes, for example, “October. 1990. 15 years old.”, because, (for me at least), it’s so much easier to imagine the environment/context/scene like that? It also gives me off movie vibes, tbh😂😂

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

I apologize in advance because I’m going to make this reply excessively long, even when the ask is so simple😂😂 While I was re-reading, I found a lot of quotes/parts that I liked a lot, so please indulge myself and look at all my word vomit, lol (the parts in bold letters are what I especially love about that specific excerpt):

[[AH! AND ALSO! I realized I made a LOT of grammar mistakes in the fic when I was re-reading today, it’s kind of embarrassing ahhh, haha. It needs heavy editing, huh. But anyways, so, in some lines here, I changed some words for what I actually wanted to write/what’s grammatically correct, now that I know more about english, haha. So in some lines they’re a bit different from the actual fic.]]

My favorite, favorite line, for reason, is this one:

Sasuke’s heart flutters on his chest, like flower’s petals in the wind, like a butterfly flapping its wings.

I don’t know, I really, really, REALLY love metaphors and I like the way it was phrased here?? Like, the words I chose sound so pretty for me, haha.

My second favorite line is this one, simply because I’m a cheesy dork:

Sasuke does not know when he fell in love with Naruto; he probably was always a bit in love with him.

Another lines of narration I really, really love:

His love for Naruto reminds him of that. Destruction. Storms, tornadoes. Because it’s brutal, too intense, too strong. It is inexhaustible. It’s unexpected and unpredictable and it makes his stomach ache.

^^ That one is just. Really what I think Sasuke feels like about falling in love, and more than anything, falling in love with Naruto, so I really love it. I have an obsession on making love sound messy and chaotic, too, tbh, haha. Guilty.

[…] and his voice sounds tired, because he’s tired, he can’t stand it anymore, and he’s stupid, stupid, stupid, because Sasuke wants to cry, and because Sasuke wants to kiss Naruto while he cries because Sasuke is a damn tragedy walking, but he can’t, he can’t and that’s hard.

I really like this one because I honest to God think Sasuke is a damn tragedy walking (and I’m saying this like a good thing, he’s my favorite disaster, haha). He’s just, idk, really a disaster, and I can easily picture him having a meltdown because he loves Naruto so much that he can’t even stand it, and he’s tired of hiding it, and he’s tired of everything, and he just wants to fucking cry but he also wants to kiss Naruto AND kiss Naruto while he cries, even if that’s weird. Idk, Sasuke just strikes me as the kind of guy who would want to kiss the love of his life while crying, LOL.

[…] he’s so close that, for a moment, the only thing he can see is blue. Blue, blue, eternal, endless, inexhaustible, precious blue; that swallows him, that overwhelms him, that suffocates him.

I remember being so proud of this part because, as you can see, I’m obsessed with Naruto’s eyes😂😂 And then when I showed the story to my sister she laughed her ass off here LMAO. She gave me A Look. LOL. She saw through me like a book, she knows I just tried to sound poetic but I suck LOL. But I still really like this part.

And Naruto is smiling, and Naruto is there and everywhere and Sasuke wants to drown in him.

So he does. 

ASDJLFJLSDFKDL. The idea of Sasuke wanting to drown in Naruto is just. I love it, lol.

He kisses him as he should be kissed. […] He kisses him and Naruto kisses him back and Sasuke almost sighs. Because it feels so good to be real; because it feels like falling into bed after a long and tiring day. It feels like a hot shower against your aching body and like the emotion you feel when climbing a roller coaster.

For some reason, I love writing kisses, LOL, and I wanted to convey so much through this one. Like both of them have been wanting to kiss the other for years, now, but you could feel Sasuke’s desperation especially, and I really wanted the kiss to feel like “God, finally, finally” but also “this is it. This is what home feels like”. I feel like it probably still lacks something, but I still like how I put it into words.

[Now, I really hope you don’t hate me for this LOL, but I’ll add the complete parts I like, even when they have dialogue. It’s this case where bold letters are the lines that I especially love about the part.]

Naruto takes a step forward, a long one, and cuts the distance between them. Sasuke’s heart flutters on his chest, like flower’s petals in the wind, like a butterfly flapping its wings. Naruto is so close that Sasuke can see the three soft freckles on his cheekbones. He can distinguish each one of his golden eyelashes shining against his eyelids. He can see the way the iris in his eyes is darker on the edge; the shape of his lips, cracked, that make Sasuke’s mouth become very dry. And heck, they are moving, so Naruto is talking.

-

“Sasuke,” Naruto says, and his voice is soft and soothing in the loneliness of the hallway. His fingers are like burning embers when he places them on his shoulder. “Look at me, Sasuke.”

And Sasuke obeys. He turns around and looks at him, and Naruto has a storm inside those pretty eyes, and Sasuke just wants… he just wants… “Honestly, I would kill myself if I had that face.”

God fucking dammit.

“He was talking about you.” He answers, finally, and his voice gets stuck and tightens in his throat.

Naruto blinks, surprise flooding the light blue of his eyes. “Oh,” he says, so low that if they were not four inches away in a desolate corridor, Sasuke would not have heard it.

“Itachi is waiting for me.” He says, because he really wants to leave; he wants Naruto to stop looking at him like that.

“Itachi asked me to check up your injuries, Sasuke. Itachi is not angry. I guess he deduced what happened, he’s smart, so…”

“I’m not hurt, Naruto. Now let me go.”

Naruto stops pressing the cold gauze on the torn skin of his knuckles. The soft fabric burns and itches on his skin, but not as much as the way Naruto keeps looking at him, hell.

-

They are 15 years old and Naruto is the most beautiful boy he has ever seen. Naruto has grown up and he’s taller now, almost as tall as Sasuke is, and has the most beautiful blue, cerulean eyes (beautiful as the clear water of the lakes, beautiful as the sky on summer mornings), and long, blond eyelashes and cute lips and messy hair kissed by the sun. He’s gorgeous. And maybe Sasuke is paying too much attention, but hell, it’s hard not to.

They are 15 years old and Sasuke would hit a three-meter bully for that boy. Sasuke would do anything for that boy.

-

He says, with a smile that covers half of his face. His hair is messier than usual and several blond strands fall on his forehead. His blue eyes sparkle in the darkness. His blue shirt sticks to him in all the right angles and Sasuke thinks if you were not so damn attractive, I would surely kill you right now, you idiot. But he doesn’t say it, because of course, that’s not something you would say to your best friend.

-

“Naruto, I’m not going to get into your father’s van in the middle of the night and drive to a Waffle House at twelve in the morning.”

Naruto seems confused. He keeps his balance on the window frame and raises his hand to show him the set of keys. “No problem, Sas. I have the keys.”

- [I really like this one because just, the idea of them going to a Waffle House in the middle of the night is a favorite of mine, and the dialogue of Sasuke being like “i’m not going to drive to a waffle house at fucking 12am” and Naruto being just like “no worries, i have the keys” because he thinks the problem is that Sasuke doesn’t want to steal the car is so funny LMAO. Also, I live for Naruto calling him “Sas”.]

Damn fucking Naruto. Fuck his stupid heart. Fuck the one who decided up there that it would be a good idea to give him a nice smile and a beautiful personality and the eyes of Gods. Fuck the one who decided it would be good for Sasuke to fall in love with a stupid blonde with a heart of gold, stubborn as hell. Fuck the one who thought it would be a good idea for Sasuke to like his best friend. Fuck the one who decided that Waffle Houses could open for 24 hours. Fuck Naruto with his beautiful eyes; damn, damn, damn and fucking dammit.

- [I LAUGH SO HARD AT THIS PART. Like poor dude, he’s just so Done about having a crush and being in love with his Best Friend LMAO. I love how he curses the Gods and Everyone and Naruto Especially while also changing and going downstairs to go out with said crush.]

It’s strange that he’s so quiet, but at least Sasuke can look at him out of the corner of his eye from time to time. And when the light from the headlights on the side of the street hits him right in the face, and Sasuke can admire how beautiful he is, how stunning his eyes are and how bright they look and how his hair is gleaming and the so pretty and alluring that is the whole him, all of him… is those moments when Sasuke thinks that, maybe, it was not such a bad idea that Naruto woke him up in the middle of the night to drive to a Waffle House. Maybe, it’s not so bad that Naruto is crazy. Maybe, it’s not so bad that Sasuke is in love with him.

-

You know how in that tragic movie where the girl has cancer she says something in the beginning like “I fell in love with him like falling asleep, suddenly and without realizing it”? Yes, well. Sasuke used to make fun of that, even if Naruto thought it was very romantic. But now, as he sees his best friend smiling in a damn suit that fits his body in all the right places, now that he sees him laughing with the gym lights doing wonders on his tanned skin, now that he is listening to him talk and laugh and just being him, being happy… now he understands it. Sasuke does not know when he fell in love with Naruto; he probably was always a bit in love with him. He does not know when it happened or why, the only thing he knows now is that he is completely, totally, utterly, head-over-heels in love with him, so much so that it is ridiculous.

The realization hits him. Hard and strong against his stomach, like the thousands of stones and heaps of earth in an avalanche. Destroying cliffs, roads.

His love for Naruto reminds him of that. Destruction. Storms, tornadoes. Because it’s brutal, too intense, too strong. It is inexhaustible. It’s unexpected and unpredictable and it makes his stomach ache.

It’s like when you have a leak in your house and you do not fix it and you probably don’t realize the damage it is doing until after weeks the hole on the cement floor is too big to ignore. It’s like the snowball that is falling and growing on the steep hill that you don’t notice until it’s too late.

It’s just like that.

And the realization is so big and so brutal that it terrifies him, because Sasuke not only loves Naruto, Sasuke is in love with him. He loves every damn part of him in the rawest and realest way possible and it scares him so much that he can’t stand it.

-

“Naruto. I’m not in the mood,” he says, and his voice sounds tired, because he’s tired, he can’t stand it anymore, and he’s stupid, stupid, stupid, because Sasuke wants to cry, and because Sasuke wants to kiss Naruto while he cries because Sasuke is a damn tragedy walking, but he can’t, he can’t and that’s hard.

-

[…] he’s so close that, for a moment, the only thing he can see is blue. Blue, blue, eternal, endless, inexhaustible, precious blue; that swallows him, that overwhelms him, that suffocates him.

He’s as close as that time when they…

“Sasuke, you’re a fucking idiot.” He says, his breath warm against his own lips.

[…]

He’s as close as that time when they kissed.

Naruto is kissing him, Holy…

It’s abrupt and so sudden and Sasuke has not closed his eyes, (Sasuke can’t even believe it to begin with, because they’re kissing), but Naruto does, so he can see the thin, long golden lashes that flutter softly against his own cheekbones. They tickle him. He can see the cascade of hair on his forehead and the mess of color on his skin and everything is so familiar. The cracked feeling of his lips, the blue so close, the hair that tickles Sasuke… It’s making him dizzy. Everything is so familiar, and yet so different at the same time. It’s coarser, stronger.

Naruto doesn’t seem to know what he is doing though; he just keeps pressing his lips so hard against his that Sasuke thinks he might knock a tooth out of him. His fingers continue to cling to his tie, crumpling it between his fingernails, and it’s…

Sasuke doesn’t care. Because Naruto is kissing him, and even if he’s clumsy, Naruto is kissing him, and his heartbeat thunders into his ears, the blood rushes in his veins and everything is chaos.

With Naruto everything is chaos.

Like the storms.

Like hurricanes.

Everything is too intense and strong and…

-

“You know what?” He says, and he continues laughing, but not so much anymore. “Ino said you would make exactly that face.”

Sasuke blinks. What?

“Did you tell Ino about—” Sasuke doesn’t quite know how to define it, even if he’s supposed to be good with words, so he just manages to move his hand between them in a movement that Naruto would do, and adds, “—this?”

Naruto gives him a sideways little smile. “Actually, I told Shikamaru, Ino was just there.”

Once again. What?

“What?”

Naruto grins. Bright and toothy, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “Sasuke, teme. You’re easier to read than you think.”

Sasuke is about to yell at him because what? But then Naruto’s smile softens, and it’s sweet and tender and intimate. And the words that come out of his lips moments later roll off his tongue and roll up through the air and dance and spin and hit Sasuke with such force that he practically staggers.

“I love you too, you bastard.”

It’s too much.

And Naruto is smiling, and Naruto is there and everywhere and Sasuke wants to drown in him.

So he does. He takes a step and closes the distance between them and drowns in him.

One of his hands takes him from the suit and brings him closer while the other slips behind him and mixes with the strands of hair that are too soft against his skin. And then he kisses him again. He kisses him as he should be kissed. He kisses the brain out of him and leans against his personal space and enters his bubble of warmth, the warmth that radiates from every pore of his being. He kisses him and gets drunk with his smell and his skin and all of him.

He kisses him and Naruto kisses him back and Sasuke almost sighs. Because it feels so good to be real; because it feels like falling into bed after a long and tiring day. It feels like a hot shower against your aching body and like the emotion you feel when climbing a roller coaster.

It’s all at once.

Rawly intense and gently soothing.

It’s chaos.

And he kisses him again and again and again and again and again and again and again until he loses the count.

“You know what?” Naruto says in a moment. His voice is agitated and his breathing is uneven and unsteady and he is trying to pull more air inside of him. And his lips are a little swollen and Sasuke kisses him again, short and fast, before he speaks again, because Sasuke can’t help it and stop now. “Now that I think about it, I’m much better at expressing myself than you are.”

“Shut up, usuratonkachi.”

Naruto laughs. And it’s the most beautiful thing Sasuke has ever heard before.

ALSO. I absolutely ADORE the part where they’re 15. Like, how Sasuke keeps thinking “Naruto’s too much” because his sole presence overwhelms him, the fact that he keeps thinking about kissing him, the fact that he can’t take his eyes off him, the fact that he hit someone so freaking hard because they said they would “kill themselves if they had that [Naruto’s] face”, the fact that he was jealous of girls noticing Naruto because of his looks, because “yeah, Naruto was so goddamn attractive (he keeps thinking about touching him, wondering about how his skin would feel against his fingers, wanting to touch his face, his hair, daydreaming about his eyes. Dude is just Gone LOL), but ALSO, would yOU DUMB GIRLS HEAR ABOUT HIS STORIES ABOUT RAMEN??? WOULD YOU HEAR HIM BABBLE ABOUT HIS FAVORITE DUMB MOVIES AND POP MUSIC??? WOULD YOU??? WELL, I DO!!!! SO FUCK OFF!!!!!!” LMAO. I LIVE for Sasuke’s Gay Crisis and him realizing he finds his best friend criminally attractive and endearing. 

(I’M SO SORRY FOR MAKING THIS ANSWER SO LONG, OMG).

4. What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Because I’m predictable and also because, like I said, I’m a cheesy dork, my favorite line is: “I love you too, you bastard.” It just has so much power, for me. It’s so intimate and I love how Naruto says “too” even when Sasuke doesn’t say it out loud before, because Naruto just knows. It’s so gentle, even when he’s calling him “bastard” (that at this point is actually a pet name rather than an insult LMAO).

Bonus to:

“Sasuke, you’re a fucking idiot.” 

I really love it LMAO. I like it because I find it funny that it’s what Naruto says just before he kisses him, but also because it’s actually so tender, too??? Like Sasuke was all “MAYBE I DON’T LIKE YOU ANYMORE, HUH?!?! MAYBE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS I FINALLY GOT TIRED OF YOU”; he’s throwing all this drama but he’s actually spilling his heart out and Naruto can see all through it, he can literally see what he’s actually thinking, and it just. Hits. Hard. So he’s just like, “I’m gonna cut this bullshit right here” and goes “Sasuke, you’re a fucking idiot”, with a tone that basically means actually that, like “sasuke, you fucking IDIOT. i KNOW. i KNOW. stop hurting yourself”, and it just gets me, haha.

“Do you want to go to the prom with me?” […] “I’m serious, Sas. I want you to go with me.”

I was so excited when I wrote those two lines. Again, I’m weak for Naruto calling him “Sas”, and I wanted so bad Naruto asking him to prom. Even if it’s not with a big gesture, it FEELS like so much for both of them. And I wanted to make sure that it sounded like he wasn’t joking around, even if he made the proposal “easier to digest” by phrasing it later like he was asking Sasuke just because he was his best friend and he wanted him to have fun with him (which, yeah, but he also knew about Sasuke being in love with him, and Naruto was, too, so he was just being assertive in the situation, trying to make it easier for Sasuke because he knows him, and he knows how big it already feels like for him just being asked as a friend).

“Because I want you to take your head out of your ass for a moment and have fun with your best friend?”

Naruto telling Sasuke to take his head out of his ass is my favorite thing ever LMAO.

7. Where did the title come from?

To be honest, I’m TERRIBLE to put titles. I always forget to name my fics, because I focus on the story itself first, haha. I always save the docs in word like “childhood friends au sns” or “christmas au” or things like that, planning to actually name them later, but I ALWAYS forget to do it. I always remember when I actually have to put a name to it because I’m about to post it on AO3 and it asks me for a title first, LOL. So, basically, this one (and all my other titles) came up last minute. I have always liked when Naruto is compared to the Sun (I do it at the end of the fic, too, haha), and I thought the fic itself revolves around Sasuke’s love for Naruto, Sasuke’s journey to get to know Naruto and fall for him, and Sasuke realizing his feelings and being constantly overwhelmed by them because of they’re so strong and so deep and because Naruto just feels like Too Much sometimes (in a good, messy way) to him. So I thought it was accurate to call it “The Sun is too bright, it hurts”, because for me, it basically encompasses what the fic is about: Naruto is too much sometimes that it actually hurts Sasuke, because he Can’t Handle Feelings and it’s Suffocating and Overwhelming and Scary, but it’s okay at the end, because Naruto feels just as much as him. (I actually wanted to add “but it’s okay” at the end, but I felt like it was too long already LOL).

8. Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

It’s not actually real people or real events, but I actually based the scene where Sasuke saves Naruto from getting run over by a car from one of my favorite, favorite scenes in Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. It’s a lot like the one there in the book, but I found it a very Sasuke Thing to do, and I also liked how it lined up with the fact that “Sasuke’s feet moved on its own” in actual canon. Boy is willing to give his life for Naruto in any universe and I respect that, LOL.

The scene where people were talking shit about Naruto’s face is based from a scene I watched on the movie Wonder. I always cry with the movie and I had just watched it before writing the fic, so I wanted to write something based on that scene because it got me hard.

It’s also pretty obvious, but the accidental kiss is there because I absolutely Love it and I have mad respect for Kishimoto for that, so if I can, I’m going to make that accidental kiss happen in every single fic I write for them LOL.

Anyways, that would be all!!!!! I’m so sorry for making this hella long, lol, but I’m honestly so happy you were curious about this fic!!!! Like I said, I have a soft spot for this one, just as much as I have a soft spot for SNS. They will always be my favorite boys and my favorite ship ever. And I really enjoyed re-reading my own stuff and remembering my feelings while writing it years ago. AND IT JUST. MEANS A LOT TO ME???? This fic is from YEARS ago, and the fact that you ask about it just means more than I can express with words. SO, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING, HONESTLY.

I HOPE YOU’RE HAVING AN AMAZING DAY/NIGHT. I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BEYOND. HOPE YOU’RE SAFE, OKAY AND HAPPY. <333333333333333 LOTS OF LOVE FOR YOU!!!!!

[shinrasfirst]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main story?  YES / NO. (I mean? I’m not sure? I hope he will be more important, but as it is, he could have been cut out of Part 1 of the remake.)

Were they relevant to the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. (Except that he kinda saved him.. I can’t answer these questions, I am so biased.)

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO. (?)

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. Depends on who you ask, I’d say!

How strictly do you follow canon?

There isn’t much canon to go on, first of all. I am taking what I can get and expand on it. There’s probably some stuff about him that I don’t know, because I am notoriously bad at researching things properly, and also I forget stuff. So.. he’s canon-based as much as possible, but then majorly fleshed out by my own ideas because otherwise he’d be a very two-dimensional character.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.

He’s wild and fun and crazy and could make for some interesting threads---

He is actually compatible with a lot of muses because he technically works for Shinra, but then doesn’t seem to give a lot of fucks about his employment status, meaning he can also work with the other side without me having to change his setting much.

He’s gorgeous. Look at him.

He is flirty and easy to smut with.

He has a completely unknown backstory that could be explored c;

Did you see that ass?

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  

He’s a bit nuts. If you’re looking for a predictable, soft, sweet romance or friendship, he is not your guy.

He'll probably die young. And there shall be angst and pain.

I’ve seen some people really reduce him to a maniac to lives on the road to attack random people. If that’s your idea of Roche then I am sure you wouldn’t be looking for threads with him~

He is tough to write love/romance with. Like proper romance.

He has a completely unknown backstory.. so my version might differ greatly from what you have in mind.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  

I played the Remake and driving on those motorcycles was insane but kind of fun - and then shows up this guy who just drove right into my heart as soon as he popped up on the screen, laughing like a mediocre villain from YuGiOh. I thought that was all it was going to be, but I was thrilled to see that it wasn’t. I just love this character. I rewatched his fight scenes with Cloud a hundred times. He is so.. peculiar. I just couldn’t stop thinking about him, and then I saw a bit more of him on tumblr, fanarts and such, and I wanted to give it a shot :)

What keeps your inspiration going? 

New headcanons about him that pop into my head. Finding other people who love him and talking to them & rping with them! Like with all muses, I tend to love them even more the longer I play them, compared to when I start out, because new stories around them develop, I get a clearer image of their character and backstory in my head, and new plans for their future :) On a more to-the-point level: quotes, poems, music, images, all those things give me inspiration. Also similar characters in other media, or stories that fit Roche and that I can recycle and reform into part of his.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO. According to whom? I am alright with the way I write him, or I’d be doing it differently. Would Square Enix think I am doing a good job? Idk. Do other Roche rpers think I am? Idk. Does it matter? As long as there are people who enjoy writing with my version of him, I am doing my job, I think :) There are Roche portrayals I find “better” than mine in some ways, more developed, but I don’t really compare myself in that way. 

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO.  

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO. Yes and now because while I stand to the way I write all my muses, Roche in particular is one I haven’t fully developed yet. There are things about his story I am still unsure about or have no clear ideas for yet. So, I’m not feeling insecure when I write him, but I am not overly confident in throwing him in any situation, because something might come up that’ll require me to think harder that I’d have to while playing.. e.g. Rufus.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. I’m no Rowling, I’m no Tolkien, I know that. But I think my writing is alright. I try to put some internal thoughts in my replies, describe the scene abit, offer some dialogue if applicable, and move the action forward. I am not writing a book here, I am writing something interactive, so my partner is my main concern aside from telling the story. I do feel like I’m doing an okay job at that, so in that sense I am confident in my writing.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. I’m not entirely sure what this is referring to, but generally I’d say no. I can deal with most topics, it’s pretty hard to offend me, I’m open to most things, and there are very few issues I feel like they can’t be solve with just talking about them.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

It depends? I almost never get constructive criticism. What I absolutely accept is things like.. someone correcting mistakes I’ve made in terms of timelines or canon facts, because I am lazy by default and tend to not research something well and just wing it. So it might be that I’ll put some fake news into my threads that I have no problem with if someone corrects - actually, please do, I’ll gladly fix it. (Especially if they’re relevant to your muse.)

If someone dislikes a headcanon of mine or something that is particular to my portrayal of Roche, that’s really not something I aspire to change. I have my ideas of him and everyone else has their own. If a friend came to me and told me a certain headcanon of mine makes no sense because of the canon storyline or whatever, and it sounded valid to me, I’d consider that. That wouldn’t offend me. If someone just told me they dislike an idea I had, that is the kind of criticism I don’t really accept. That’s not criticism to me, that is a personal opinion that we disagree on. It’s not my problem if someone dislikes my portrayal, they don’t have to interact with it. I take no offense in that, unless it’s reported to me in a rude manner.

With regard to my writing? I don’t ask for criticism and I don’t really want it either. I know what areas I have to work on in order to improve, I don’t need anyone to give me pointers there. I have enough of that in my academic papers at university ;) This is a hobby, so I’m trying to have a good time and good plays with others, I’m not trying to win any awards. However, if I post a reply my partners aren’t sure how to work with (e.g. they need more dialogue, or more action) I am absolutely willing to edit it, no problem. Also, not just on tumblr/in the RPC but in general, people are really really REALLY bad at giving constructive criticism. It never ceases to amaze me how much people suck at that. Like I said, I don’t get offended easily, but it makes me laugh sometimes (e.g. after presentations at uni) how horrible the feedback comes across sometimes. And then everyone gets butthurt and I once again marvel at the fact that no lecturer ever gives advice on how to give good feeback. (I guess because a lot of lecturers can’t do it either.)

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  

Absolutely! It helps a lot. Sometimes it’s a real challenge, but those are necessary and very welcome while developing a character. Other people often think of things I didn’t even consider, so I welcome it when they come into my askbox with these questions :)

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? 

Maybe? If it was a friend or an rp partner, I’d hear them out for sure. If it was someone I don’t even write with.. maybe not. Like, what’s the point? Clearly I made up my mind about it, so why would you come to me to inform me that you see it differently? Go right ahead, neither one of us writes these games, so both our versions are equally right or wrong. If it’s about something that could lead to an interesting discussion, though? I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

I'd say some people like chocolate ice cream and some like vanilla. That’s okay. I’m not trying to please everyone on tumblr, I’m here to write what I want to write and if just one other person likes my portrayal, that can be enough for me :) If someone dislikes my portrayal, they’re free not to interact with me.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  

I’ve written more characters that were absolutely despised by a good chunk of the fandoms I was in, than characters who were loved, I think. I couldn’t care less. If someone hates Roche - or any of my muses - that’s their thing and has nothing to do with me. As long as they don’t feel the need to inform me about it or send me hate over it, what’s it to me? I don’t need people to like my favorite characters, it has no influence on how I feel.

But also.. why would you hate Roche? Look at him, he’s amazing :D

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  

Sure. English isn’t my first language, I’m sure I make mistakes all the time. I’m not embarrassed by that, everyone makes mistakes, even people whose first language is English. That being said, don’t go weeding through my posts looking for mistakes, because I won’t go back and fix them in most cases, so it’s really a waste of time~

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

I think so. I’m pretty relaxed most of the time, and I try to be polite and kind in any situation that comes up. I don’t get offended unless you’re accusing me of something I didn’t do, twist my words, insult my friends, or act like a total brat. Before I start a war with someone, I’ll usually withdraw myself from the situation. I am pro-unfollowing/blocking if I dislike someone. I would never send anon hate or write a call out. I’m not here for that. I think we should all try to be kinder than we feel, we should all show respect for others and tolerate differences, and we should try to treat people the way we want to be treated. Live and let live.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  stole it. Tagging: anyone who’d like!

[midnightactual]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO. Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.  Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. Are they underrated?  YES / NO. Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO. Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO. How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  —  Very closely (to a point), although I’ve made some minor changes to Yoruichi’s character background (most notably, discounting her century of exile being spent purely in her cat form), and largely ignore canon after a certain point (that being Chapter 681 onward, to include WDKALY and CFYOW). There’s also some interpolation as a lot of her history is vague or simply undocumented.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  — Yoruichi has stood at the glittering heights with the people who pretend to run the world, and has also crouched in the trenches of some of the absolute worst of metahumanity’s excesses and horrors. Throughout all that, she has kept her humor, her empathy, and her spark—if anything, they’ve only grown brighter in the face of the darkness she’s traversed. She might seem aloof, fickle, or self-indulgent by turns, but she cares quite deeply—perhaps too much. She knows the real stakes of the vile system which holds up the world, and that ultimately keeps her from acting too rashly, but deep down she’s really only a few bad Falling Down days away from saying, “Fuck it,” and deciding to go full Che Guevara in the name of the downtrodden, oppressed, and marginalized. She is a walking, talking, smiling, multi-megaton thermonuclear warhead of feelings only kept in check by her sharp mind, her low-key lack of faith in her own leadership abilities, her boundless desires to see and grow and learn, and the constant distractions of one handsome, perverted shopkeeper. And so she’s often to be found trying to make the world just a little better of a place, one day at a time. Just under the surface though, is Mordin Solus’s quote from Mass Effect 2: “Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients; sometimes execute dangerous people. Either way helps.”

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  — Despite all of that, Yoruichi is easy to dismiss as two-dimensional at a casual glance. She’s sassy, sarcastic, sensual, flirtatious, and seemingly often quite easy-going, so it’s possible to think of her as being superficial. She’s also often extremely sexualized, which can greatly diminish the nuance of those aforementioned attributes. As Kisuke’s unofficial fixer and gofer, she doesn’t get the limelight often and her contributions often go underappreciated. The lack of clarity on her past makes it easy to ignore it. And her combat abilities are if anything underrated and insufficiently showcased. In whole, a lot of people seem to class her as either a side-character, one-note, or both. 

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —   Yoruichi was the third character to really draw my attention in Bleach, and that’s only because her reveal was put off for such a long time. I came to see her as having a headspace similar to mine (both positive and negative) and found that I could relate to her more than just about any other character. (Although sometimes it takes me a bit to see things as I think she would; her tongue is certainly sharper than mine.)

What keeps your inspiration going?  —   I’m ride or die for Yoruichi and a few other characters so I don’t have a choice in the matter, to be quite honest.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO. Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO. Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO. Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO. Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.  Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  — Constructive criticism, sure. If someone’s nasty of disrespectful then no, absolutely not. But I know that this is very much my portrayal and vision of her, and I’m willing to consider other views in the same way that I appreciate other portrayals even if I don’t necessarily agree with them.

Do you like questions which help you explore your character?  — Yes. They often provoke me into thinking about things I hadn’t before, or help me sharpen things I already have. I’m always down to talk about Yoruichi.

If someone disagrees with a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  Sure. It might change my opinion, or it might not, but I’ll at least hear it out. Again, provided it’s voiced in a respectful way.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  — It’s probably not everyone’s cup of tea, but I try my best to be true to how I think she would behave. If someone disagrees with some particular thing, we could talk about it, and maybe it would strengthen my portrayal. If someone disagrees entirely, then there’s just really nothing to talk about.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  There’s no accounting for taste, but it’s also not my problem when people are wrong and demonstrate poor taste. Someone can hold that opinion, but I’m not interested in hearing it if they do.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  Yes. If all I get are grammatical corrections (or notices about typos or awkward constructions or whatever else) then I’m going to feel a bit put-off, but I can’t stand seeing them in my own writing. So sure, I’ll take outside help.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  I try to be. I’m not too fussed about other people’s response times, lengths, styles, use of icons, or strength of description or dialogue, to be honest. So, I’d hope so. 

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: @rukia-kuchiki-divided​, @windstormwielding​, @xyuuken​ (you guys, thank you!) Tagging: @the-lightning-underdog​, @waspandr​, @glacies-tempestatem​, @asobishinshin​, and it’s made the rounds so steal it if you want to.

[qanitahmutsla]

The other night I had an enlightening conversation with Tiara (for the nth time, what would I do without them), one after sooo long of no deep conversations with anyone, and they mentioned writing as one of the most effective methods of self-healing. Of course, I've always known journaling is good, but there's always something holding me back from holding onto it as a way of coping.

I think part of the reason why I stopped writing, aside from not making time for it (this is a real concern as well), is that at one point I just started to overthink it.

I used to wonder who would read my content, if it's nice enough to read, if I make a lot of grammatical mistakes, if I complain too much about my life, if I fail to present myself in such a way that people would think of me as always capable of seeing the good things (hikmah) behind whatever happened in my life at that moment.

Even my Instagram posts, usually I would only post a story/phase when it's ended, when I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and how I always want people to understand that there will always be that light at the end of every tunnel we're going through. It's not that I want people to think of me as wise, it's just that I want people to get something from my story and not just me complaining and spreading negative vibes, and so whenever I struggle in life I would just wait it out until I see the end of it and then I would share it with people. I guess it also has something to do with that message of "work in silence and let your success speak for you"?

They don't need to know how much I bleed and suffer, but then I forget that I do.

I need to see myself. I keep on focusing on my relationships with others and how I strive to bring them happiness but I keep abandoning the relationship with myself. I need to express myself to, well, myself. I need to have a space where I talk to myself about what I'm feeling as it is, unfiltered, as raw and ugly as it may be.

Never once I wrote about that.

I pushed through because I just had to pass those stages (life goes on duh), but I didn't really grow from it. Of course I gained and learned some things, but still I came out of the other side not knowing myself enough.

There's also the fact that I choose to write all of my contents in English because I think I could express myself better that way. I feel like if I do it in Bahasa it would come out as too cheesy or it just wouldn't come out at all. However, I also happen to be very conscious about my grammar control and I always have the motivation to set out a proper example so that people can see the correct way of writing in English. Obviously I'm not perfect, but it's literally the only thing that I want people to look up to me about, skill-wise, if they ever do (cause I feel like I have no other "worthy" skills hehe). I may or may not still have the pride of being an ex-journalism student as well lol. Now this wouldn't be a problem if I could just stop going over my writings again and again and thus hindering myself from just letting my thoughts flow out. I can't help it, not when I was taught and trained and "polished" to write correctly down to the last dot. From there I simply became reluctant to go over the cycle of me being a grammar perfectionist, so I wrote less and less and then nothing.

My friends, the real good friends that they are, reminded me that writing, especially as a journal of healing, is never supposed to be perfect or eloquent. It's supposed to be honest, maybe a little messy and a lot heart wrenching. I'm always down when it comes to listening to and "being there" for others but now that I really think about it, I've never really listen to and be there for myself.

(ok I get really sad at this point, writing and admitting this to myself hurt)

I've been told that I'm self-centered and too dominant (downside of being extroverts), that label stuck with me for years and I judge myself the same way in turn. In conversations I would talk too much about myself in a way that may be annoying to some people (especially if they are not genuinely interested or in the mood to listen to me). In retrospect, I begin to realize that (1) I talk mostly about my experiences and where I come from, not my real feelings (2) I may be unconsciously and unintentionally talking too much because I want to be heard and understood, and I am unheard because I don't listen to myself when there is no one around. I never stop and have a conversation with myself about what I feel and what I want, so it's just simultaneously piled up and pushed down, and when I'd then meet people I would "burst" and feel like I have to say something under the pretense of "connecting" when in fact I indeed just want to talk about myself to feel somehow validated (Sabi would say this is an enneagram type 2 thing, and sue me, I want to be loved).

Sabi also used to tell me how different we are when it comes to handling conflict, how I would face it head on (because I hate fighting with the people I love) and how she'd "sweep it under the rug". That term ironically resonates with me right now. I would be the first to try and fix it if something is not fine between me and others, but I would do just that, sweeping things under the rug, when something is not fine between me and myself.

With how outgoing and chatty I am who would've thought how hard it is for me to open up and be vulnerable, even with myself? Who would've thought how much it hurts to admit that things within myself are not as fine as I've been pretending they are? (I've only realized now that it's a pretense at all). How long have I been refusing to see how much I have to fix in me when nothing is wrong from the outside and "I should be more grateful"? (I have health and money and family what more could I possibly ask for??)

I am such a hypocrite.

I have this mindset I keep telling myself: "I'm not kind enough, I could and should be kinder, I need to be kinder". I just realize that all this time, in my head, it unconsciously only applies to others.

I'm not kind enough to others.

I could and should be kinder to others.

I need to be kinder to others.

I've always thought that mushy quotes of "stop being too hard on yourself" as menye-menye and a mere excuse to slack off and not work hard. Whenever I do or have things for myself, it's almost always accompanied with this instant-guilt and judgements to myself that I am selfish, that I need to be more considerate of others (what if one of my siblings suddenly need some sort of financial support and I spent the money on myself instead?)

Allahu, I've been mean and horrible. It never crossed my mind that I'm not kind enough to myself.

I may be regretting ever writing this when I read it again in the future (idk, for being weak, for spewing unnecessary things and then sweeping it under the rug yet again), but the me right now only wish for a start in healing.

I just want to be able to point out when it all began. Is it because I'm a firstborn? Is it because I lived in dorm-settings for years and years since I was twelve? Is it because of the ways my parents raised me? What are my triggers and how do I cope with them?

Let's find out bit by bit, hopefully :")

.

Mataram, July 26th 2021.

03.26 WITA.

.

PS: I bought myself a pair of earphone and panci listrik today lol. They've been in my cart for months and I just never had the guts to click on the checkout button. I hope future-me would be able to smile with no guilt upon reading this.

[emziley]

All of the even numbers!

P.s I hope this spaced out like I want it too because if not its going to be one hell of a read and I am sorry...2, Nicknames that didnt come from my actual name: Alma (because the woman in sister act who can’t hear 😂) er thers probably others I can’t think of right now…4, Longest my hair has ever been:Down to my butt. Never again.6,What is one (1) Item on bucket list: To meet all my long-distance frienfs in person8, Oldest pice of clothing I still wear:Umm I probably have socks from when I was a kid I still wear XD idk10, How grammatically correct are you when you text?:I typically text how I would actually talk out loud so not very…12, what foreign country would you like to visit and why? :Probably Ireland is first on my list because of how beautiful it is and how much of my family came from there 14, how old where you when you had your first kiss? 17 or 18 I think? I was a senior in highschool 16, have you ever hosted a wild party? Wild? No. 18, How many of your facebook friends to you actually hang out with?Like… 7 max not including family? 20, on a scale of 1-10 how much do you enjoy decorating for hollidays Uhh probably like an 8? I enjoy how they look but the effort of putting them up and taking them down I could do without lol 22, what is your go to starbucks drink?I have never had starbucks :/24, Dogs or Cats?Why choose?26, have you ever cooked a big family meal by yourself?Not really? I mean, If I make pasta it could feed a large family…. 28, Have you ever butt dialed anyone?Probably.30, How early do you start celebrating christmas?Right after thanks giving XD32, Are you fluent in more than one language? I wish I was tbh….maybe some day…34, Have you ever been on a successful diet?I feel like “successful” and “diet” arent words that can really be used together in a positive way.36, how good are you at communicating through facial expressions?Better than with words…38, Have you ever left a movie theater before the movie was over? Not that I can remember…40, Does your home have a fire place?We have a fernace and then a fake electric one in the living room42, If you could have one (1) super power what would it be and why?The power to manipulate probablility because you can have anything you want? Like whats the probably of me getting pizza tonight? Probablg like 40% but I could turn that 40% into 100% and definatly get pizza tonight.44, do you listen to religious music? Not typically, no.46, what is your ACT score?🙃48, On a scale of 1-10 how good of a driver would you consider yourself? Idk like a 5? I dont have my licents because im scared to drive but the times I did go out and drive I wasnt bad.50, How easily do you cry?VERY. You could look at me wrong and there will be tears. Or a puppy could do something cute and water works are on the way lol52, when you hang out with your closest friend what do you usually do? My closest friend is my partner so we’re usually cuddling or playing games or watching something on YouTube or Netflix54, Can you play any musical instraments? If so which ones?Yes! I can play the guitar, steel drums, and piano (albeit not well) , I can sing and honestly, would like to learn more instraments soon!56, What was the last CD you bought?Either X or ÷ by Ed Sheeran for my sister for christmas I think58, What day is your laundry day?Right now, Monday-Saturday, I dont typically have a specific day just as long as its not sunday, thats dads laundry day!60, How long have you known your best friend?4 or 5 years now?62, do you have any stickers on your laptop?Currently I don’t have my own laptop, but I use my moms and she has a message from my aunt tapped on it kind of like a sticker? It says “Teddy grams 3 points” from when they where doing weight watchers XD64, what is your favorite flavor ice cream?Mint chocolate chip!66, Star Treck or Star WarsI haven’t seen either tbh but I want to! 68, Have you ever acted in a play or musical?Yes! Anything goes, A mid-summer nights dream, 9 to 5, Mrs. McThing, and Tarzan! I still have A mid-summer nights dream on DVD lol I wish I could again…70, What is the shortest your hair has been?I think chin length? 72, Do you like to go fishing?My dad told me a horror story once about when he went fishing with his brother… I’ll spare you the details but I’m afraid to go…but I have before and I dont have the patients tbh I do love fish though!74, what was your favorite holoween costume and how old where you?I was the I think red M&M? Idk how old I was but probably between 4 and 876, How many pillows do you sleep with?Between 1 and 4. Depends if Im sharing.78, How many friends of the oposite gender do you have?I….Really dont know? I think half of them don’t even know their own gender tbh80, How long have you been at your current jobI currently dont have a job :/82, How flexible are you?Psyically not very, but im working on that!84, what is a phrase you say the most?“Why are you like this” is probably my favorite XD 86, Do you own any home made clothing?Some of my cosplays are home made, along with a prom dress! 88, Have you every given anyone CPR No, I know how to but I think in the situation I would panic and freeze and not even be able to…90, Discribe your sense of humor?Odd and all over the place. 92, What is your favorite cereal?Probably honey smacks! 94, Have you ever had a TV show theme song stuck in your head?I get a few stuck in my head from time to time, like Steven Universe or Gravity Falls and stuff 96, Do you believe in life on other planets?Yeah…. I mean bacteria and stuff is tecnically life? But there’s gotta be something outside our solar system too…98, what is your biggest fear?Dying alone or being abandoned….100, are you still friends with anyone from highschool?Yes.102, How patient are you?With other people? Very. With myself? Not really. With waiting for something to happen? Not at all. 104, Do you eat meat? Yeah, im picky about it though…106, Have you ever bought anything from the flea market? I don’t think so?108, Have you ever gotten a song stuck in your head that you dont like?Unfortunatly.110, Have you ever warn glasses?Yes! I did when I was young, went a few years without needing them and now wear them again.112, Are your birth parents still together?Yes.114, what is your favorite type of cookie?Peanut butter blossoms. The peanut butter ones with the Hershey kiss in the middle 😍116, How often do you smile when getting your picture taken? I usually smile I think? If im taking selfies I sometimes do a pouty face but…?118, what is your oldest memory?I have a very distinct memory of sitting in my crib with my legs hanging out the side. I don’t know why I remember THAT but I do120, How often do you snort when you laugh?I dont know? Not too often… but if you get me really laughing I will and it makes me laugh more. Right now I’ve just been laughing and coughing so~122, What is your favorite Disney song? Probably “How far I’ll go” from moana? Or like anything from mulan XD124, What is your Mayers-Briggs personality type? INFP-T 126, one (1) thing yoy wish people would stop posting on social media: Pictures and shit of animal abuse. I get the posts like “hey this is a shit thing to do” but do we really need photos or videos of it?…. and when reported to facebook you’re told it “doesn’t violate community guidelines” like bull fucking shit it doesnt. 128, do you prefer Credit Cards or cash?Cash, its easier for me to keep track of, and money gives me anxiety. 130, What is your astrological sign?I fall on a cusp birthday so I am technically both a Scorpio and Sagitarius. 132, Do you have any hidden talents?I don’t even have any visable talents…134, What gives yoy motivstion to do well in life?I dont know but whatever it is isn’t working.136, on a scale od 1-10 how much are you like your father?Looks: like 3, personality: 8ish 138, A moment when you where pleasently suprised?Probably when Tom actually said yes to dating me after 3 days of waiting. At that point I gave up hope at the words “I’ll have to think about it” so when they said yes it was just~ 😶140, what type of shoes do you wear the most?My penguin sneakers! Or my boots… either one lol142, Favorite song to sing in the shower?I have a whole playlist of songs just to sing… and my top 5 from that in no particular order is 1. Red flavor by red velvet 2. Evil by shinee, 3. Good bye by Taemin, 4, cotton candy by astro and 5, Nightmare by shinee. They’re all kpop so its kinda hard 😂144, Have you ever lived on a farm? I mean where my house is used to be a farm? We have barns and stuff. We also grow some fruits and vegetables and at one point had ducks? but I wouldn’t really say I lived on a farm… 146, what tv show or movie do you quote or make referances to the most? Probably steven universe? Idk148, Have you ever gotten stiches?No, and I probably wouldn’t be able yo handle if if I had to. 150, What is your favorite youtube channel?As embarrassing as it is to say to you~ it probably will always be artfulImpersonator 😶😶😶 152, on a scale of 1-10 how well do you work with others?Im going to say 5 because it REALLY depends who im working with. 154, Apple or PC?….uh they both have good qualities, I guess it depends what Im using it for, but I guess PC for casual use156, Have you ever seen a broadway play or musical? I seen Newsies and almost fell asleep…. not because it was a bad show or anything but because it was a school trip and I was just exhausted. 158, Have you ever uttered a spoke hashtag? #yes. Usually as jokes but uhhh sometimes I get carried away. 160, What is the longest you went without sleep? Probably 24 hours? Maybe less? 162, Disney or Nickelodeon? As I kid I was a Disney kid, but Now probably Nick?164, On a scale from 1-10 how much are you like your mom?Looks: 8 personality: maybe a 6?166, Ear bud or Ear muff style headphones?Ear muff style! Ear buds hurt my ears :(168, any peircings besides earlobe? Nah,170, Showers or baths?I like them both. For actually cleaning showers but for relaxing baths. Something about the warm water :)172, do you prefer bottled or tap water?Depends where I am? At my house Tap but most places bottled.174, Do you have any guilty pleasures you’d be comfortable talking about?Guilty pleasures? Pleanty. Comfortable talking about on a public forum such as tumblr? Not really XD…. I mean I guess liking one direction still is a guilty pleasure? Or some of the anime’s I watch? I’ll mention those ones176, Ever had a new years kiss exactly at midnight? No…. I found im usually grumpy on new years? I wonder why? 🤔178, Have you ever gave money to a homeless person? I dont think so :( I dont usually have that much on me… 180, What is your least favorite food? Anything slimey. Im a very texture based eater… 182, Do you like wearing hats? When im not wearing cat ears, yes!184, SAT score?🙃🙃186, anyone in your family currently serve in your countries military? I think my cousin, Yeah?…or he wants to or something im not sure…188, what celebrity would you like to play you in a movie about your life? Can I just play myself? 190, Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes, and it needs to be dyed again! Idk what color I want to do next though :/192, whats the first site you visit after opining a web browser? Depends what I went in the computer for but I guess generally Tumblr or Facebook 194, where you involved in any academic clubs in school? Unfortunatly, no. 196, are you comfortable watching R rated movies? Yeah, im fine with them.... unless im with my parents 😨198, what's the first thing you do when you wake up? Check my phone.200, tell us something most people don't know about youThat I have a collection of stuffed giraffes in my closet from when I was a kid. I no longer collect them but alot of them are still sitting in a bag in my closet because I've grown attached...

[cogham]

throws confetti up real high

i’m feeling v inexplicably sad all of a sudden and uh. idk what to do with myself but i wanna write something but i don’t wanna work on depressing fanfic mmmm

but i was helping a friend out with editing a fic of hers the other day (it’s rlly good omg if u guys like attack on titan read the first chapter here) mostly helping with grammar and stuff and?? she’s a rlly good writer so all the corrections/suggestions i was making were kinda obscure grammar rules nobody ever teaches formally and i thought that was interesting to see so mmm

going off about grammar makes me happy so here’s Some Obscure Grammar Rules U Should Kno that nobody ever seems to teach and also a couple tips n tricks i personally keep in mind when workin on shit okay here we go

(tagging the writer pals @j4m-ch4n & @t3f3r since i know u guys said u like writing tips and that’s kinda all i’m good for pfft so yeah)

1. Verb tense consistency:

This is one of those things that falls under the this-is-how-we-speak-but-isn’t-how-we’re-supposed-to-write category. When speaking, lots of times you’ll interchange the tenses of the verbs in a sentence, and though it doesn’t look or sound inherently wrong, it’s actually “incorrect.” (I always have to triple check my writing for this one cus it’s super easy to overlook, and even then I only catch it maybe a third of the time, pfft.)

Essentially, the rule here is that you want to maintain the same tense among all the verbs used in a single sentence. That may seem like a “well, yeah, duh,” sorta thing, but it’s actually not something you ever really notice unless you’re actively looking for it. Or, at least, it isn’t for me.

So here’s an example sentence:

She turned down the corridor and began running towards the exit.

Outwardly, nothing seems wrong with that. It makes sense, it looks right, it sounds right, but the verb tense agreement is still off. Turned is past tense, while running is present tense. You wanna maintain the same tense among verbs within a single sentence, so the sentence (assuming it’s meant to be in past tense) should be rewritten as:

She turned down the corridor and ran towards the exit.

In that case, both turned and ran are past tense, so the verb tenses remain consistent.

2. Quotes within sentences:

This one is only easy for me because I learned it when I was super young, but looking at the rule from a logical standpoint, it honestly doesn’t make a lot of sense. But, I mean, neither do a lot of English grammar rules, pfft.

Basically, you wanna treat quotes as a part of a sentence rather than as their own thing. I’m… actually struggling to think of a way to explain this correctly without giving an explanation audibly, hmph.

I guess it can be broken into three components, though. Which are:

a. If a sentence doesn’t stop at the end of a quote, don’t end the quote with a period.

b. If a sentence doesn’t stop at the end of a quote, even if the quote ends in punctuation such as an exclamation point or a question mark, don’t capitalise the first letter of the rest of the sentence following the quote.

c. If a sentence does end with a quote, only then do you end the quote with a period and capitalise the first letter of the word following the quote.

Here’s an example of part a of this rule done incorrectly:

“Leave him alone.” he said angrily.

Even though that is the speaker’s entire quote, since the written sentence doesn’t end there, you don’t put a period at the end of the speaker’s sentence. The correct way to write it would be:

“Leave him alone,” he said angrily.

The easiest way to check to make sure you’re doing this right is to remove the quotation marks, then read the sentence in your head with exaggerated stress on the punctuation marks and see if it still makes sense. You wouldn’t read the sentence like, “Leave him alone. [full stop] He said angrily.” You would read it as, “Leave him alone, [pause] he said angrily.

Even in cases where, say, a character is saying each word of their phrase with a ton of emphasis — like, if they’re trying to sound super threatening, or something like that  — you still need to end with a comma. For example, an incorrect way to write a hostile sentence would be:

“Leave. Him. Alone.” he said.

To do it correctly, you would still need to write it as:

“Leave. Him. Alone,” he said.

Totally detracts from the hostility, which is super lame, but that’s the correct way to do it. (Uh, read the note at the end of this section for a tip on avoiding having the mood swung by a lame grammar rule.)

Here’s an example of part b of this rule done incorrectly:

“Leave him alone!” He said angrily.

Even though, yes, it is grammatically correct to capitalise anything that comes after an exclamation point, since that is not the end of the sentence, the correct way to write it would be:

“Leave him alone!” he said angrily.

You can check this one using the same read-it-with-exaggerated-punctuation trick listed above.

Part c has to do completely with that read-it-with-exaggerated-punctuation trick. Lots of times, sentences within paragraphs are ended by quotes; and, in those cases, you do want to follow the quote with a capital letter. Here’s an example of using this part of the rule correctly:

“Leave him alone.” He said this with anger in his tone.

With stressed punctuation, you would read it as, “ ‘Leave him alone.’ [full stop] He said this with anger in his tone.”

Another way to think of it is, “leave him alone” and “he said this with anger in his tone” are both their own sentences, so the first letter of each gets capitalised.

Essentially, just treat quotes as part of the sentence as a whole rather than as their own entity existing within the sentence.

A creative tip from me for this rule:

Lots of times, a period can radically change the speaker’s tone, so they’re good to use if you want to indicate a character’s mood. If a character is being threatening, for example, having their phrase end with a comma — while grammatically correct, yes — can detract from the hostility. If you want to get around this, just rewrite the sentence the way that I did when describing part c of this rule: in two separate sentences. It’s a very easy edit to make, and will make a read much more dramatic.

3. Creating compound (hyphenated) adjectives.

This one is tricky, and I still fuck it up all the damn time. Basically, it has to do with adjectives that are made up of two or more words — adjectives such as “well-functioning,” “foul-smelling,” or “flesh-eating.”

The rule here is, if you’re treating two or more words as a single adjective, you want to hyphenate them. You can check to see if they should be hyphenated by excluding the rest of the sentence other than the noun which the adjective is describing, then removing one of the words and seeing if the sentence still makes sense.

Here’s an example sentence:

He was attacked by flesh-eating insects.

The adjective in this sentence is “flesh-eating,” so you would hyphenate it. You know that both words form a single adjective because, if you were to remove one of the two words, you would either be left with “flesh insects” or “eating insects,” both of which are… wrong.

The exception to this rule (which I fucking hate because it makes absolutely no goddamn sense) is that you don’t hyphenate compound adjectives that include an adverb, such as “lightly planted,” “beautifully decorated,” or “brightly coloured.” I… honestly don’t know why this is a rule. It makes zero sense to me. And it looks stupid. But it’s the rule. And I hate it. But, I mean, you know, whatever. Rules is rules is rules, or whatever.

A creative tip from me for this rule:

You can create super crazy compound adjectives to set a tone or mood in a story, even if they’re a bit unorthodox. (It works especially well in situations where a character is super duper frustrated.) For example, I’ve used compound adjectives like “too-small-for-four-people” and “why-the-hell-is-this-so-fucking-advanced” in stories before. It really sets the tone for how characters are thinking.

You can totally get crazy creative with compound adjectives. It adds a lot to a story. Just be sure to double check that you’re actually using your compound adjectives as adjectives. So, like, you wouldn’t say, “The room they’ve found themselves in is too-small-for-four-people,” since, in that case, you aren’t using the hyphenated phrase as an adjective, you’re just describing a scene. If you were to use the hyphenated phrase as an adjective, you would say, “They’ve found themselves in a too-small-for-four-people room.”

4. Subject-verb agreement:

This one is really tricky, because it looks… wrong… lots of times… as well as it isn’t really something that you actively think about when writing. But, I mean, hey, it’s worth mentioning.

This rule has to do with… well, the verb(s) used in a sentence agreeing with that sentence’s subject. For example, you wouldn’t say “the box rest on the staircase,” you would say “the box rests on the staircase.” In that sentence, the box is the subject, and the verb is to rest, so you want the verb to agree with the subject.

Here’s another example, just to reiterate the basic premise: You wouldn’t say “the crowd cheer for the runner,” you would say, “the crowd cheers for the runner.” The crowd is the subject, and to cheer is the verb, so you want the verb to agree with the subject.

That part makes total sense and comes very naturally, since that’s how most native English speakers learn the language and all, but this rule gets really, really, really complex. Honestly, I still don’t fully understand all of this rule’s little details, but the part of this rule that I see misused a lot is when there are words in between the subject and the verb. This is why I say a lot of times sentences look wrong when they have correct subject-verb agreement, since, for example, although you wouldn’t say, “The kittens sits on the corner,” you would say, “The basket full of kittens sits on the corner,” since, in that case, the subject of the sentence is the basket, not the kittens.

Essentially, when there are multiple nouns in a sentence, make sure that the verb agrees with the subject, not just whatever noun is closest to the verb.

This rule is hard to explain without examples, so here are just some more examples:

The swarm of bees buzzes loudly. 

The subject of the sentence is “the swarm,” not “bees,” so the verb “to buzz” needs to agree with “the swarm.”

The guy with all the pigeons works in my office.

The subject of the sentence is “the guy,” not “the pigeons,” so the verb “to work” needs to agree with “the guy.”

Each of the dogs gets a treat.

The subject of the sentence is “each,” not “the dogs,” so the verb “to get” needs to agree with “each.”

I… hope that makes sense? It’s a finicky rule, man…

5. Proper nouns in terms of things like pet names.

This gets messed up a lot, and… I’m super guilty of it, whoops.

This has to do with, like, if a character calls their spouse “darling,” or if someone calls their dog whose name is Ollie “silly billy,” or if a parent calls their child “babygirl” (…that’s the one I’m guilty of fucking up.) While these are all names in their own right, none of them get capitalised.

The easiest way to check to make sure you’re doing this right is to take your character who is using the pet name and imagine them speaking to someone else. If they still use the pet name in place of the actual name, you capitalise it. If they don’t, then don’t.

Here’s an example sentence:

“I have a question for you, dearest,” Simeon calls to Kanrik across the room.

“Dearest” does not get capitalised, since Simeon wouldn’t go up to someone and say, “Dearest told me something interesting the other day.” He might say, “My dearest Kanrik told me something interesting,” but otherwise, nah.

Another example is, I had a friend with a boston terrier named Georgie whom her mother always used to call “wiggle worm.” “Wiggle worm” wouldn’t get capitalised in writing, since my friend’s mom wouldn’t go up to someone and say, “I was walking Wiggle Worm the other day.” Uh, unless the dog’s name actually was Wiggle Worm. Which would be an awesome dog name. But… it’s not. She might say, “I was walking my little wiggle worm Georgie the other day,” but otherwise, nah.

6. “Who” versus “whom.”

People will always get on your ass if you do this wrong, yet nobody ever teaches you how to do it right..? This rule can totally be ignored, cus it’s kinda silly and pretentious to worry about, but it’s still good to know the trick for it, especially if you’re writing dialogue for a super pretentious character.

Here’s the trick: rephrase the sentence with the who/whom confusion as a question, then answer it. If the answer to the question is he/she/they, then use who, but if the answer is him/her/them, then use whom.

Here’s a sentence where the correct usage would be who:

This is the man who rescued the cat.

To check, rephrase it as a question: Who rescued the cat? He did.

And here’s a sentence where the correct usage would be whom:

The man whom this book belongs to is sitting in the lounge.

Again, to check, rephrase it as a question: Whom does this book belong to? Him.

(Funny story, actually… this one is on my mind because I saw a bumper sticker today that was pawprint-shaped and had the phrase “Who rescued who?” on it. It’s v cute, but grammatically speaking, it should be “Who rescued whom?” since — using that same trick — who did the rescuing? She did. And whom did she rescue? Him.)

7. “Its” versus “it’s.”

I’m not gonna lie, I only finally got this one in my muscle memory like two years ago… It seems very counter-intuitive at first, but once you think about it, it makes sense, and is easy to relearn.

Basically, the possessive form of this word is “its,” not “it’s.” At first, this doesn’t look right, since apostrophes are, obviously, used to show possession, but this is a special circumstance because, in this case, “it’s” is actually a contraction of “it” and “is.” The good news about this one is, even though it seems kinda counter-intuitive, it’s super easy to check to make sure you’re using it right. All you have to do is break any instances of “it’s” into “it is” and see if the sentence still makes sense.

Here’s an example of this done incorrectly:

The dragon carried the knight away in it’s jaws.

To check, break apart the contraction. You wouldn’t say “The dragon carried the knight away in it is jaws,” right? So the correct way to write it would be:

The dragon carried the knight away in its jaws.

8. Correct use of “per se.”

HEY MAN ARE U READY FOR A GRAMMAR RULE THAT I TOTALLY KNOW BUT HAVE NEVER EVER USED CORRECTLY ONCE BEFORE EVER IN MY LIFE EVER??? Because here it is…

“Per se” actually means “in of itself.” Most people — myself included — tend to naturally use this term as if it meant “necessarily,” since that’s honestly what it sounds like it should mean… but that is totally wrong. For example…

Here is an incorrect use of “per se:”

He isn’t a genius, per se, but he is very smart.

Another incorrect use:

I didn’t lie to the cops, per se, I just didn’t tell them everything.

These sentences use “per se” as if it meant “necessarily” or “exactly,” which it does not.

Here is a correct use of “per se:”

The boss fight really isn’t difficult per se, but the fact that you have to do it at level four makes it seem so.

And another correct use:

I don’t hate cheesecake per se, I just hate cheesecakes from the Cheesecake Factory.

In these sentences, “per se” is being used to mean “in of itself” or “intrinsically,” which is correct.

I… had such a hard time coming up with examples for this one, because I am so bad with this rule, but… there you go, pfft. If I’m wrong feel free to crucify me cus I still mess this one up every damn day.

hhhhh i am…… very very tired now and am feeling a bit better pfft so i’ll just leave it here for tonight shrug emoji

blease if anyone has questions about grammar rules or wants general writing tips or tricks for something specific hmu okay cus this shit is rlly relaxing for me to rant about lmao

so yeah

anyway night y’all

[subjectsilver]

my psyche and wormy be ruthless sometimes.

originally i told myself that i was only going to use tumblr every sunday to log what has happened throughout the week or anything noticeable or note worthy but i literally need to type this right now because I'm losing my goddamn mind and on the verge of a panic attack...i can feel my chest tightening and my heart has such a “funny” feeling that isn't so funny so idk why they call it that... its like a light feeling like when u get light headed - i feel light hearted rn

the absolute worst part about my depression is that it literally just comes and goes whenever it wants. obviously theres things that help trigger it, a song a picture of my ex friends snapchats, any object that i can play connect the dots with back to a single thought that can disrupt my entire mental.

and it hit me tonight and it hit me hard and tonight I'm trying not to run away from it. I'm not going to go smoke cigarettes and listen to music until 5 am I'm trying to just type what is going on instead of like holding it into my head. or type something at least. the thing about it is that whenever it hits me, i always find a way to make it so much worse.... like i see just the right combination of words or objects to sink me or look at pictures of emma and even though i know its hurting me i continue to do it anyway....maybe its because in that moment I'm actually feeling something, she is making me feel something just like she use to in the past. i really valued that until i became too grey and numb and hopeless.

i feel like throwing up

i used “ex” up there and  makes me feel really uneasy i haven't used it very much at all mainly because i have to explain myself to anyone here and I've only told a few people what is going on with me. That was good thought because i have a friend named hank who went through some shit too so he kind of connects with me but still not a person i would talk to about shit...i don't really have anyone for that so i don't really know... sometimes i type it all and erase it, sometimes i make songs, sometimes i say it out laid sometimes i just cry.

i started taking prozac 3 days ago this will be the fourth, so hopefully that'll help  me. Im still underweight as fuck but oddly I'm comfortable with it bc i like the way my shirts feel and clothes fit, unfortunately i need to gain like 20 pounds if i want to exist on this soccer team which is kinda mad. I was going to suggest leaving wake because i don't really even care to play soccer rn. and i realized a while back that all i needed was in ohio... like i had the best friends the girl of my dreams and i could've had a 1st year internship paying between 40-70k at some health company under my step dad... its kinda shitty because its something i wanted to tell everyone and i would always think about how disappointed my dad would be and how supportive my mom would be but something told me not do make moves with any of it. its like the universe knew i was going to go through some shit. like it knew i was gonna get low and the perfect image of life i had in my head up. like bitch u thought you'd plant roots,,,nahhhhhhtttt  

i keep listening to this song on repeat

https://soundcloud.com/yvpoipoi/maxence-cyrin-where-is-my-mind

but the real is back the ville is back

i fucking hated listening to cole until like 2 weeks ago. it was so annoying listening to cole bc of hani playing it literally all the time. when things like that get annoying they because white noise to me. but recently i went through his 3 most recent projects and actually listened heavily to the words and that shit is crazy.

i also have been paying a lot of attention to jay z and beyonce. i guess jay z had an affair or some shit and ten he and “once” went back and forth on songs about it... but i read this quote by him where he was like “our relationship was built on top of lies, and i had to tear it down and build it back up again and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.” thats the kind of shit that gives me hope in the world of relationships. I've accepted that its probably false hope but ill hold onto anything the keeps me going at this point...

my suicidal thoughts haven't been present the last few days but i never know if and when those will come back. to be truthful I've been stacking up on things in my camera roll that give me up for when I'm feeling low.

the light hearted feeling has subsided, i just realized it. i kinda of ignore all grammatical practices when i write freely. i just go with my own language because i feel like its more personal ya know. someone i know annotates her own letters that she use to write me and i always loved that shit because i have so many side thoughts when i write as well.

luke christophers album finally came out and what do you know 5 of the songs had already been released and some like a year ago so its barely anything knew but it still has new music and bangers so i do appreciate the legend himself. after seeing his hair blonde on the cover idk if I'm going to keep growing my hair black or re-dye it. maybe ill keep it blonde until i feel like I'm above 80% better or something  right now i feel about -7% (if i could annotate that line id tell you that i originally wrote -7 person instead of percent then i autocorrected person then backspaced it to a symbol) 

the last few days I've felt really weak though and I've been sleeping a lot like two days ago i got like 11 hours and yesterday i got like 10 and I've been taking naps during the day. but I've constantly felt like I've had low blood sugar or that I've been dehydrated or something. i can't even make a fist and squeeze that hard.

its crazy because when i type anything about myself ever i just start tearing up for no reason...happy thoughts sad thoughts dark thoughts i could be writing about my microwave and be tearing up. and i do it a lot with emma or my best friends or my ex and ex best friends idk what anyone is to me anymore. been too focussed on trying to survive, which i feel is the correct selfish thing to do for once.

“don't give a fuck and they love you do give a fuck and they hate you - I'm always gone be there for you”

this man luke in onto something

its crazy that i will leave my phone in my room from 7:30 am to 7-8 at night and the only notification that ill get is “your phone hasn't been backed up in 57 weeks” or some shit like that. occasionally ill receive a random text from someone but its funny because sometimes on the inside ill be screaming like “PLEASE SOMEONE TALK TO ME” and then it happens and its like nah.. i thought i sent out an amber alert but really I'm sending out a batman bat symbol. i thought i needed anyone to talk to, but in reality i just need one singular person to talk to. that was my mistake, will always be my mistake but at least i recognize it now...just a little late there big guy.

having so much time to myself probably too much time to myself is really interesting...if you've ever thought that you've done real reflection, submerge yourself in complete loneliness and isolation and try again because its so much deeper. you think about everything. every individual relationship, every right every wrong multiple perspectives. you think about all of your problems and the root to your problems.  all of your mistakes why u caused these mistakes or what caused these mistakes. its actually really shitty because the bad will always stick out more than the good because the good is what is suppose to happen and the bad is the variable...variables get more attention than the constants i feel. deep down i don't think I'm a shitty human being.. even though i might think that a lot or hate myself...ik I'm only human and i can't be perfect and as much as id love for everyone to love me and me to not hurt anyone its more than likely unrealistic and it'll happen to me and already has happened to me and now i understand that and i will be more forgiving as i go on in life, the same forgiveness id want people to give me.

i use to think that everything had to work in reciprocality like for some reason i always thought everything should be equal all of the time..but i was extremely wrong, some people need more some people need less some people expect things and if they mean anything to you, the extra effort should hinder you or disrupt you...every human has a different way of looking at relationships and when those ways collide and don't add up it creates problem. I'm not saying people should give up in what they believe in but people should be less harsh about it... i know people who should be less harsh on me and i know people that i will be less harsh on and who i would be less harsh on if i could go back in time.

i tried to think about why I'm so afraid of butterflies and i can't really think of what happened along the way that got me here but i think the very root is the movie “butterfly effect” I'm also pretty sure they are remaking that movie into a 2018 version and ill probably go scare the fuck out of myself while seeing it.

my anxiety was gone until thinking about butterflies 

i tried to explain a fear of butterflies to this kid named mike and i sounded like an absolute idiot and then his response was “does this scare you” and it was the close up of a butterfly from this spongebob episode and i can't get it out of my head.... i think the video is called “wormy close up”

 fuck wormy

usually id think something so symmetrical was beautiful seeing has my old tendencies make me love symmetrically and i do things in that way like when i touch my feet to surfaces and shit bc i feel all neat and organized but i don't like that every butterfly ever is symmetrical as fuck...like show why what the hell. and i want to watch a video on it but i don't want to go into shock or some shit.

and they have wings that flap which is what i hate about bugs in general.

to be fair though i do like butterflies that have bright blue or white wings cus i use to see those a lot as a kid when my backyard was a golf course. but my vision of a butterfly with like brown wings and black borders gahhhh fuck that....id weather let a centipede crawl on me from head to toe than a butterfly land on me to put in in perspective. 

idk man i think this post has done for me what i thought it would do what i intended it to do...i have to be up in like 3 and a half wish hours then run for an hour then ill take a solid nap for like 5 hours or just sleep pt.2 but i must be going... until next time or sunday.

i love you

fuck wormy

goodnight

[emziley]

All of the even numbers!

MVP for being the first ask I got...ever XD (also, sorry It took so long! I was almost done then my computer died and I had to restart D: )2. Do you have any nicknames?Emi, Milly, Em, Emziley (But I rarely use that aside from screen names) also, Jade 4. What is the longest your hair has ever been?probably at my butt! or at least lower back....its almost back at that length 6. Favorite flavor?Blue8. Are you friends with any of your exes?Yes! and hes married to my best friend now too :)10. How grammatically correct are you when you text?I text how I would normally speak so not very accurate? but also not like text talk12. Creamy or chunky peanut butter?Creamy! Who eats chunky?14. DC or Marvel?Yes. Mostly Marvel16. Do you have any stickers on your laptop computer?There’s a small note taped on it XD its my moms computer so not really. but If I had my own there would be stickers all over it!!18. Do you read any magazines?Not really20. What is your go-to Starbucks drink?I never tried starbucks!22. Last show you binge watched?Voltron?24. Favorite Disney princess?me!- just kidding, Probably Elsa! (Does she count?)26. Favorite thing to cook for yourself?I CAN MAKE FISH!!! Its one of the very few things I can make so I’m glad I like fish xD28. Have you ever butt dialed anyone?Probably?30. Any styles of music you do not like?Country? I mean some songs are good but---32. Have you ever gotten a ticket while driving?I can’t drive :( 34. Showers or baths?I’ve been really wanting to take a bath and I haven’t been able to, so bath.36. Are you fluent in more than one language?I’d like to be, but I’m not.38. What is the heaviest you have ever weighed?I don’t know? probably around 200lbs40. Have you ever uttered a spoken hashtag?Yes. moving on.42. Favorite non-chocolate candy?Jolly ranchers :D44. If you could have one superpower, which one would you most like to have?Teleportation. Then I dont have to drive! Or walk... XD46. From 1-10, rate your dancing ability.4? 48. From 1-10, rate your driving ability.Idk like a 5 for when I started to learn? 50. Do you drink soda? If so, which one is your favorite?Moutain Dew. The worst shit for you52. Spring or autumn?Im alergic to spring so autumn xD54. Can you play any musical instruments?Yes! A guitar! Kind of piano, I want to learn more. Someone once told me "learn to play a little of any instrament you can get your hands on"56. How easily do you cry?Very. 😧58. Favorite YouTube channel?ArtfulImpersonator :v (and not just because you're asking) 60. How long have you known your best friend?Wich one? About 5 years ago? 62. Last CD you bought?Ed Sheeran for my sister for christmas 💜64. Have you ever been broken up with?Yes,66. How long was your longest relationship? Are you still with that person?2 and a half years, and yes :) 68. Have you ever acted in a play or a musical?Multiple! And I would love to again. 70. Have you ever sexted?😶 yeah~ 72. Real or fake Christmas trees?Story time! Once we got a real tree and it had a nest of spiders in it. Never again will we get a real tree. Ours has "snow" on it :) 74. How well can you write in cursive?Pretty well! You might be interested to know I learned at a young age because they thought it would help me with my dyslexia! 76. Do you like any boy bands?Hahhahahahahaha. Most. 78. Have you ever gotten any stitctopic. Thankfully not! I think I'd panic too much tbh80. What is the oldest piece of clothing you still wear and how old is it?I still have socks from when I was seven? But I also have old sweaters from my grandparents which are probably older than me82. Have you ever dyed your hair?Yes! It was rainbow at one point 😃84. How long have you been at your current job?Currently don't have a job :/86. Phrase you say the most?Well fuck. 88. Have you ever gotten fired from a job?No. 90. Have you ever been a Boy/Girl Scout?I've been both! XD girlscouts we just colored, venture crew (boyscouts) we did alot of fun stuff but it didnt last because the troop was dying out to the point it was me and my sister and one other person holding it together92. Do you eat meat?Yes, though im not a big meat eater94. Worst habit?Hating myself... 96. Do you believe in ghosts?Yes98. Do you consider rapping singing?Not really? 100. Favorite store to shop at?Cleché but hot topic102. Favorite Pokémon?Piplup! I want a real one. 104. Do you drink alcohol at all? If so, what is your drink of choice?I don't drink much, but usually Mikes hard lenonade (of various flavors) but I did have a sangrea last night which was pretty good! 106. Favorite type of cookie?Peanut butter blossoms or oreos108. Biggest pet peeve?I don't know actually? 110. Favorite literary character?Probably Karkat Vantas xD does homesuck count? 112. Do you wear or have your ever worn glasses? Yes, sense I was 2 actually xD114. Have you ever been the victim of a prank? Yeah, nothing too bad though! 116. Have you ever taken a nude selfie?Maybe......... Yes. 118. Favorite fandom?They all have their downsides but homestuck basically rearranged my entire life and had such an influence both good and bad so I think I want to go with homestuck120. Have you ever snorted when you laughed? All the time xD122. Favorite Disney song?Let it go is fun to sing~124. Random girls’ name.Melony126. How many people are in your nuclear family?4 and a cat so that's 5128. What is your Myers-Briggs personality type?INFP-T (i think thats Mayers-Briggs?) 130. Biggest regret?Art school 132. Do you like any soap operas?XD no, I like to pretend Im in one sometimes though. Its fun. 134. What sports team(s) do you root for? Uh hufflepuff quittich team? 136. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender?Yes. XD then we dated. 138. Name a moment in your life when you were pleasantly surprised. When my partner changed their mind from "I'll think about it" to "yes"140. Have you ever left a movie theater before the movie was done?Yeah, I REALLY had to pee... 142. Is sex before marriage wrong?Not nessisarilly, as long as both people want sex, go for it! 144. Can you handle spicy food?Not as much as I used to and that upsets me :(146. Do you like MTV?Not really~148. TV show or movie you quote/reference the most?Steven Universe xD150. Where do you think is the best place to meet a new lover?Anywhere! If you're having fun at a place and they're having fun at the same place (or chatroom :v) ans you hit it off and eventually date and~ 152. Favorite thing to do outside?Look at (and take pictures of) nature. 154. Do you say “y'all” at all?Yes xD156. Do you believe in evolution?Yes? 158. Favorite Beatles song?Ob-la-di ob-la-da (I think thats the name?) 160. Have you ever been to Disney World or Disneyland?Yes! And preformed there ;D162. Do you like to go fishing?I don't have the patents for that tbh164. Do you take medication for anything? Yes, for Epilepsy. Thank you for reminding me to take it! 166. From 1-10, how much do you like children? 3 maybe? If they're well behaved.... 168. Have you ever been bungee jumping or skydiving?Yeah, no. Nope. Not doing it. 170. Do you collect anything?I uses to collect giraffes xD and still have alot of them! But Yeah, I have a few collections. 172. Have you ever been a bridesmaid or a groomsman?Not yet. Soon. 174. What was your favorite toy to play with when you were a child?My mind xD nah probably babrie dolls? 176. Have you ever learned anything from a how-to YouTube video?Like everything. { :v still cant brush wigs without watching your video and crying... } 178. Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? Yeah~180. Do you have a pool at your house?Yes. 182. Do you like karaoke?Sometimes? 184. Have you ever ran a marathon?Hahahahaha. Nob:(186. Any guilty pleasures?Yes.............. Yes. 188. Do you live in a house or an apartment?House. 190. Worst job you’ve ever had?Im not sure you could call it a "job" but I worked at a haunted house where they gave you "cash prizes" for the days you worked. I missed the first few days because I was in the hospital and told him I couldn't be near strobe lights. Unfortunatly I was put by the strobe lights. I worked 2 days, desided I was more trouble than I was worth and never went to pick up my money. I stilk get a little anxiety thinking about it tbh. 192. Were you ever voted homecoming/prom king or queen? Nah :p kinda wish I ran but~194. Have you ever gotten detention? I don't think so? 196. Have you ever taken a road trip just for the fun of it? Yes! My family used to have mini rode trips alot... Recently though me and my dad went on two big ones, one to california 2 years ago and colorado a few weeks ago! 198. Were you a part of any academic clubs in high school or college?No... 200. How long have you been on tumblr?4ish years?(Thank you 😁)