#also im not rly a matcha person so do with that what u will

[kashmirichaiwithmehr]

5 drinks to get to know me: (tagged by @goblinsbriide <3333333 luv u)

any kind of black coffee [iced/hot]: (whether that be an americano, french press, cold brew, brewed/drip coffee, straight up espresso, etcetcetc)

plain teas: ([fresh/looseleaf or teabag] ginger, green/gunpowder/genmaicha/boricha, rooibos, chamomile, lavender, oolong, herbal, etcetcetc)

water mmm mmm mmm

sweetened chai w/ milk [or alternative milks] : (ex. iced chai, masala chai [other ppls or my own that i grind from scratch every time hehehe], my kashmiri naanis kashmiri chai <333 [esp. if im drinking it while in kashmir !!])

[refer to the tags for the "5th" answer] sry not sry i am an indecisive bitch

[pesterloglog]

Jade Harley, Calliope, Roxy Lalonde

Meat, page 19

JADE: so you see janes neoliberal austerity measures—

JADE: as i outlined here in graph b-2

JADE: and here in figure a-6

JADE: and here!!! in this very spooky drawing i dictated to callie

JADE: (great drawing by the way!!!)

CALLIOPE: ^u^

JADE: —will no doubt lead to a whole bunch of ugly societal backlashes

JADE: not just in economic terms but on a number of other more serious vertices that weve been lucky enough to avoid on new earth so far

ROXY: u dont say

JADE: i DO say!!!

JADE: the thing is that jane is an establishment leader

JADE: shes looking at doing things the way our old universes did them

JADE: shes pretty convinced that shes going to be able to replicate the capitalist hierarchies that earth had but in a more “responsible” way

JADE: but none of that stuff actually worked!!!!!

ROXY: and u think karkat can do better?

JADE: i think its worth it to give him a chance

JADE: hes a leader of the people AND hes experienced firsthand what happens when establishment goes too far

JADE: which i imagine you can sympathize with!

JADE: and!!

JADE: that’s my pitch!!!!

CALLIOPE: i’m...

CALLIOPE: going to get Us tea and snacks. woUld yoU like some, jade?

JADE: oh

JADE: yeah sure

CALLIOPE: any preferences?

JADE: ummm pumpkin matcha if you have it

CALLIOPE: of coUrse. i’ll be right back.

JADE: soooo..........

JADE: what do you think?

ROXY: hmmmm

ROXY: well i gotta say

ROXY: this has been a hella convincing argument all in all

ROXY: buuuuut idk if i can help u out

JADE: what????

JADE: why not?!

ROXY: i just dont rly

ROXY: care about politics that much i guess

ROXY: also this election is all kinds of personal

ROXY: i mean if i came into ur house and asked u to make some grand political w/e against your bff

ROXY: would you be all

ROXY: oh yea totes sign me tf up

ROXY: im alls ABOUT the sowing of discord among my childhood friends

JADE: siiiigh let me guess

JADE: dirk got to you first

ROXY: not even

ROXY: i got no problem tellin dirk where to stick it lmao

ROXY: but dirks not the one running

JADE: you think hes NOT the one pulling the strings behind the scenes?

ROXY: sure but give janey a lil credit

ROXY: shes got more moxie and ambition in her pinky than the rest of us got all together

ROXY: shes been planning this for years

ROXY: but shes yknow

JADE: ruthless? :B

ROXY: *fragile*

ROXY: shes gotta be miss perfect all the time for the billboards n press meetings

ROXY: always wearin those power suits trying to look like a big bad bitch

JADE: you mean like....... the condesce?

ROXY: wow ouch

JADE: im not just imagining it though, right???

JADE: you see it too

JADE: not to dredge up something horrible from your history

JADE: but her whole image is just kinda...... *woof*

ROXY: is that what you guys think?

ROXY: u and dave and karkat?

JADE: well...

JADE: yeah

ROXY: well janes not perfect

ROXY: and idk if shell be a good president

ROXY: but shes not betty crocker

ROXY: and i luv her and i dont wanna hurt her feelings

ROXY: and thats p much all there is to say on the matter

JADE: fiiiiine

JADE: i understand

JADE: callie what about you?

CALLIOPE: oh, i’d rather stay Uninvolved, thank yoU.

JADE: :(

CALLIOPE: i feel like interfering in both politics and a personal argUment between my friends woUld be impolite as well as kind of... stressfUl, to be honest.

JADE: yeah

JADE: sorry callie i probably shouldnt have put all that on you

CALLIOPE: less apologizing, more snacking!

JADE: wow callie youre such an amazing hostess!

JADE: hehehe roxy youre so lucky to have her

ROXY: psst not “her,” “them”

JADE: oh

JADE: oh!!!!!!

JADE: oh wow!

JADE: im sorry i didnt mean to be uh... culturally insensitive?

JADE: have i just been stupidly calling you a girl for years like a big fat dummy??

JADE: oh nooooo! im such an asshole!!!!!

CALLIOPE: yoU are absolUtely not an asshole!

CALLIOPE: i didn’t mind being called a girl. i still don’t really mind, it’s jUst not exactly... accUrate.

CALLIOPE: bUt i did take comfort in “being a girl” for a very long time. this is something i’ve only recently decided.

ROXY: yea...!

ROXY: m-me too actually

JADE: you??

ROXY: o yeah we are both a “they” household now

ROXY: package deal thing

ROXY: things r nonbinary as fuck around here

JADE: really?

ROXY: yup

ROXY: well

ROXY: i mean thats probably a dumb and bad way to say it dont tell anyone i said it that way rofl

ROXY: but yeah thats about whats goin on

ROXY: wow that felt good to say aloud man

ROXY: ahah hahaha hell of a way to come out

JADE: its ok

JADE: i dont wanna make you uncomfortable

ROXY: i know

JADE: but i am curious!

JADE: if you need to talk about it i mean

ROXY: maybe

ROXY: callie and i have been talkin about it a lot

ROXY: unpackin all kinda baggage w/ their alien stuff and my human stuff

ROXY: and so i got to thinking

ROXY: what even is gender

ROXY: amirite lol?

JADE: oh yeah

JADE: that makes sense i guess........

JADE: so youre uh

JADE: not...... “doing gender” anymore??

ROXY: ya i guess not lmfao

ROXY: i mean that was all stuff from our old universe

ROXY: whyd we even bring it here right?

JADE: right

CALLIOPE: my ideas aboUt gend—

CALLIOPE: —er were entirely inflUenced by my time watching earth.

CALLIOPE: i sUppose i only thoUght of myself as a girl because my, Um...

CALLIOPE: my brother took mascUlinity qUite serioUsly.

CALLIOPE: by which i mean, he became very enthUsiastic aboUt all the things it sUpposedly meant to be a boy.

CALLIOPE: cherUb existence is dichotomoUs, bUt not in the same way hUman biology is.

CALLIOPE: i sUppose oUr view of hUman cUlture indirectly inflUenced alternia’s development, which in tUrn affected yoUrs, which is something i’ve had a lot of time to think aboUt since we came here.

CALLIOPE: it’s all so very circUitoUs and arbitrary.

ROXY: yeah exactly!

ROXY: like when u think about it...

ROXY: so much of what earth c thinks what boys and girls “SHOULD” do comes straight from the imagination of a bunch of dumb teens

ROXY: which is totally FUCKED

JADE: sure

ROXY: i mean what am i gonna do

ROXY: get married and pop out 100 bbs?

JADE: uh... no???

ROXY: exactly

ROXY: i mean once upon a time i guess i thought about that

ROXY: but i dont think its what i really wanted

ROXY: i just liked the idea of me and dirk makin some smart ass awesome kids together

ROXY: cuz i liked the idea of dirk

ROXY: and also literally no one else on the entire planet was alive at the time

ROXY: but we had some babies without even bein consulted about it anyway so w/e

JADE: your kids ARE pretty cool

ROXY: i KNOW right?

JADE: personally im a big fan!

JADE: i...

JADE: i.........

ROXY: jade?

ROXY: o shit

CALLIOPE: is she okay?

ROXY: idk

ROXY: get a cloth from the kitchen! and some water!

CALLIOPE: okay! i’ll be right back!

[shadowofmoths]

hi snips beloved happy sleepover saturday here are some random questions take whichever you’d like: favorite salty snacks? favorite articles of clothing? favorite showtunes? what are your opinions on nail polish and what colors do u like? do u have any fun chill youtube recommendations?

hello hen ily!!! its now sleepover satmonday evidently. anyway ok here goes: favorite salty snacks: flavor blasted goldfish. fuckin love those things. im not rly a snack person but goldfish my beloveds. favorite articles of clothing: i have a blue sweater w sheep on it that is my FAV thing. its super warm tho so i cant rly wear it anymore :( aand i have these wide black pants w white plaid on them that look nice but theyre sooo comfy n i love them. favorite showtunes: LOVE THIS THANK U. im just gonna list some. the i love you song, 25th annual putnam county spelling bee. anything goes, anything goes. adelaide's lament, guys and dolls. you got trouble, the music man. your fault, into the woods. one day more, les mis. red and black, les mis. starchild, ghost quartet. dead mom & dead mom reprise, beetlejuice. nail polish: i like nail polish! i dont wear it very often bc it takes a lot of time and focus that i dont usually have, but i like it, it makes me like how my hands look which i dont normally. obvi i like black nail polish as a goth, but i also have three colors from the brand holotaco from their tea themed collection that i LOVE. one of them is a chai color thats just a little darker than my skin color so its a v nice neutral, one thats a pale "matcha" green, and one is a p dark turquoise. if i was gonna get another color it would be a dark red but yeah nail polish is jace approved fun chill youtube recs: i dont watch a lot of youtube lately but i do like these monterey bay sharks ft chill jazz music ! and also basically anything on bernadette banner's channel i like her content a lot.

[shytiff]

Small Dec Wins

i cant believe its December already tf?!?!?!

1 - poli KIA today. saw a mother who cant feel the movement of their baby. the senior midwife tried to find the baby’s heart beat but not finding it. she said she hopes she were wrong. fell asleep at 3pm-ish, woke up super hungry. ate. i swear i feel like my weight when i measured it this morning was ~52, but after eating its close to 54 lol. eating banana and chocolate nextar is yummm. dalbang today is hella funny as always and suuper endearing. fell asleep after dalbang, didnt study hufttt

2 - today im at igd but joined azkia at vk for a bit to see partus. its not that im scared (maybe not consciously) but when the mom was being stitched i felt lightheaded, nausea, cold extremities, and i even had to squat multiple times because i couldnt stand. But i felt better after the partus so maybe seeing it was the cause. I did not feel scared at all honestly ._. and i’ve seen multiple partus before. i dont know why. i can literally feel my symphatetic tone giving out lmaoo. tried matcha latte with Cy matcha powder. it tasted more milky and grassy. mom thought it tasted like nori. i prever cocodeli alll the way (although Cy is cheaper). i think it also has a bit of caffeine that made me feel awake like a normal person should be. 

3 - today is vk but there’s no patient so thank god i saw sumn yesterday. did some cicil ukmppd in the morning accompanied by matcha latte. tried to order dufan tickets and i couldnt find my damn ktp...... fell asleep after worrying about said ktp

4 - matcha latte in the car, swab at lmk, went to dufan by tj with willy, had quite some funn with atikah nila willy amel pupuy. first time trying kereta misteri, quite fun. it rained after ashar so we didnt ride anything after that. turns out my ktp was at barel’s fotocopy lmaoo thankyou ara for picking it. went to solaria ancol afterwards, picked up by mom. i didnt tell her in the morning that i was going to dufan lmao. plenary @ zoom 19 pm. rapat nemo. fell asleep.

5 - went to lmk by tj to surprise clara. went back home and fell asleep. didnt rly do anything afterwards because this ragged body gets tired easily and i dont eat much recently. i can feel the difference before and after eating and there’s actual energy after eating. its not that im hungry though, but i feel less energized. felt annoyed terrible and just wanna lay in bed (this is unrelated with the less food in my system). even though i met up with friends

6 - after LOTS of sleeping i feel somehow better but not to a ‘normal’ amount. watched kimbab family videos. did power vinyasa by doogether with fianti. took a shower and ate indomie and i felt quite normal, except i slept again wtf. i thought i would have the second half of the day but nah. did self tryouts with fianti, 150 FDI questions. I got 96/150 right. huft. such a great reality check

7 - poli lansia with dokter isip, matcha latte in the afternoon rly helps me not sleeping the day away, packed up for depok

8 - poli umum with dr gita (helped doing phys exam), packed the rest of my stuff, ate some risol and matcha lattteee in the car, took swab results, picked up hazmats etc, zoom discussion with FT PKM Kalideres (dr gita) on the way, and i finally arrived at tamel. dinner is granola with vsoy. Taste like a slightly wet granola bar, nutty fiber-y vibe

9 - walked in ui with ara, managed to jog from the trees near st ui until kuburan bikun wow. i reached that point where my leg and heart were going in a steady unburdened pace and my willpower to keep going on was tested. tried the signature steak in Double U Steak by Chef Widi, while ara tried ribeye. the ribeye was more tender than the signature. but the seasoning in the signature is quite delish, salty and oily without being too much (like futago ya). read poppyland fast pass from ara’s phone omg season 1 is finally complete! went to coftof (omgggg i miss this place), it looks different now. ordered matcha latte and it tasted weirdly like a soy milk although ara doesnt feel that way. the matcha tasted weird. wont repurchase. read chainsaw man, its so entertaining, funny and deep at the same time. denji mess around and be too naive sometimes but hes lowkey hot lmaooo. aki is lovvvvve.

10 - first day at rsud budhi asih. had moesli combined with granola + vsoy for brekkie. went back to tamel at 3 pm. it rained when i got back. bought warteg lugina worth 32k. walked to sbux for tumbler day its been a while since i had their matcha latte. it tasted quite good, but not as good as i remembered (?) maybe bcs i asked for non fat milk. sbux closes at 8 pm for now hikss

11 - left tamel at about 7:10 and arrived on budhi asih at 08:54 yalll the traffic. Icu. Bought eatlah double and ate the salted egg part. Nap. ICU discussion with dr Dedi @8pm. I presented from my phone to save data hehe,,

12 - woke up at 8, eatlah brown butter for brekkie, symcard, saladstop's caesar salad for lunch (quite 'eneg' because i didnt eat the cheese evenly so the chicken and cheese were eaten last after the vegs are out. The vegetable's not that variative, and the non vegs make the salad taste delicious (albeit maybe not THAT healthy). Evening jog @UI and i realized i can get wifi sitting near the lake n library. Stared at the night sky from my room, i swear the sky seems super clear. Saw tiny fireworks in the distance

13 - ate muesli and saladstop’s banana walnut cake, symcard, bought moon chicken and saladpoint. lunch was egg salad and the wings. the original tasted so good like??? maybe i havent had msg for a while. also tried big bang, not too spicy which is nice. cicil ukmppd. put my laundry at buih barel lmaoo. try out with fianti. got 70/100

14 - breakfast was salad and leftover chicken. today was bangsal with angga armand. the geriatric patient has a loud murmur yall (and scoliosis, so much that the heart looks distorted). went to margo city to see sales, but when i think about it id rather just thrift stuff lmao. bought lugina. slept through kuliah guru besar. writing this in yellow truck coffee, that had 2 customers on the 1st floor including me. tried banana milk. yall after trying to drink less sugar the beverage tasted super sweet. my headache just goes away. sugar is magic but unhealthy whyyyyy.

15 - igd siang with indah. This body sure is frail. Did cbd with dr afifah AND rescheduled pleno. Rip mobile data i have to use for hotspot.

16 - ok today. Inserted goedel and did bagging. I bagged the patient the wrong way at first (too much). Thankfully the nurses were kind and taught us a lot :) watched some bts content. I feel like after reading househusband my tiktok page is now immensely funnier. Dalbang is also hilarious as always. Put on ginseng sheet mask (smells quite strong)

17 - bangsal. snacked on fried chicken. matcha latte starbucks (turns out its quite full here) and liqo about keeping our tongues in check

18 - arrived at icu. And then opened line. Turns out hadin's swab is positive, so agung kak iman and me have to isolate and swab. So i went back. Ordered kanayam chicken and fish and tempe. Nasi liwet tasted goood damn. Sleptt in the afternoon. Pleno at 4 pm (entered the room 4:30). Had no motivation to do anything. Azkia is getting married! Spent 20 mins formulating words to congratulate her lmaoo

19 - osce simulation, kak nanu was so kind and encouraging. Did try out solid. Lunch is fish bite pasta with melted cheese (cause i had to reach the minimum amount for promo). It got cold so its not that good (pairing it with self made mentai sauce, mixing the mayo and chili, is way much better). Jogged in ui (and searched for wifi). Approached by someone selling haraus coffee (25k), saying that some earnings will be for charity. Its basically sweet. Can barely taste the coffee.

20 - had kanayam for lunch (brekkie is almost always muesli lately). The nasi liwet tasted much better the first time. Walked to yellow truck coffee in the pouring rain. Got banana milk. Saw webinar ksk (electrolyte correction and dr nadhira talkshow). What i got from it is that, dr nadhira is a different person from the first place. Shes visionary, knows what she want and not afraid to reach it. The mindset is different. Even if i try as hard as her, her propensity to growth is different. Cicil ukmppd. Try out with fianti (got 72/100). Talked for an hour about love and marriage and engagements (there are so much of it lately)

21 - leftover kanayam for brekkie, also ate roti salman in cikini st. swab today (met kris, nessa and others). muesli for lunch. i thought my body felt a bit warm, so i decided to find sumn to eat. tried kedai abu bakar’s spaghetti brulee. its okay. maybe because its not too cheesy or meaty, mainly bechamel sauce. the one pupuy made is much tastier. finished the whole 10x20 portion in 2 eating sesh. cicil ukmppd @ bed in the evening (somehow felt refreshed enough to be able to concentrate in bed)

22 - went early to icu to put dops form. lugina for early lunch. i feel like my metabolism is faster? or my body is not so much in calorie deficit mode anymore and it got greedier lmao i used to just ignore hunger but not now, for health. starbiiies tumbler day. ordered black tea latte with non fat milk and vanilla syrup (because raspberry syrup is no more). did cbd geri ppt. 

23 - finally knew the swab result bcs kak iman asked kak farras. thankfully negative. igd with jordi. quite a few chances to do iv line, but i failed 2 times. managed to do iv injection to insert 2 drugs. saw the worst cpr ive ever seen in my life. its too slow, with maximal interruption. fish bite for lunch. wasted the rest of my day

24 - originally intended to run but i cant bring myself out of bed. packed up my stuff. picked up by mom. got the paper result of swab, got ksk from kelvyn @ capitol. can finally drink self-made matcha latte again, but it tasted horrible. i know cy matcha doesnt have that much going on, but even this is low even for them. previously i was starting to get used to the grassy smell.

25 - my lil bro remarked “maybe shes depressed because she doesnt have her chair”. fuck yall. this “depression” that im in is caused by this very place and the people. and im supposed to still muster the strength to study for ukmppd AND get my face together for solid book photoshoot. that shit is too much. this is why the money that goes to cafe, and the bike ride there is worth it for my sanity. after showering, things felt a bit better. had absolutely no will to study today. ate muesli with a bit of matcha latte.

26 - muesli for breakfast. matcha latte is lyfff ive probably said this before but it ~somehow~ makes me feel normal and not in a slump. like im a regular person. with normal moods. and not wanting to sleep all the time. i try to do ukmppd exercises but the pace is so fucking slow, bcs im distracted by get rich haha,,,. the latest potn update (64) is omgggg the mixed feelings? love? hate? anger? everything and nothing? the ~tension and passion~? im obsessed. watched a ton of bts content today and yesterday lmao.

27 - nasi kebuli for brekkie. went to flavola, im the first customer lmao. tried kopi susu coklat, tasted quite close enough to janjiw’s kopi soklat. had the same ~improved mood and concentration~ effect. tried to read ksk. bought milky banana 1L from puyo to give dajen (its his bday yesterday) (i feel prompted (?) to gift people when theyve given a present to me) (because my love lang is not gift giving at all so i barely think abt gifts lmao). talked with sum 33 ipa guys @ dajens house. yay appropriate amount of social battery charging. tryout with fianti, padi this time. got 67/100. 

28 - ate muesli with matcha latte after breakfast. cicil ukmppd. Listened to yoongi's vlive until i fell asleep lol. 2 burger and salad for dinner. omggg hansol revealed his gf. 

29 - spent half of my day tidying up the mess that is my room. figured out what to wear for solid book photoshoot with fianti, ara. matcha latte terosss. phd for dinner. 

30 - breakfast is muesli with cimory choco hazelnut. mom made matcha chocolate brownies. tryna study. slow pace terosss. read some padi materials. dalbang.

31 - bought vsoy low sugar and multigrain. moved my body a bit to youtube videos. showered. felt better. it also rained (which i love). the pleasant mood only lasted til the evening. did nothing from 7pm even though im not sleepy. cant tell when did i start to sleep

and just like that, 2020 kkeut. its sad to say i dont rly remember much remarkable things this year. other than the trip and memories with minor rotation friends. i just remember wasting my life away in my house. i guess that’s the danger of living a monotone life. sometimes you gotta invest some time to have fun, to have motivation to live on and do things. not doing this makes it difficult to live day by day. and friends. meeting friends, seeing new stuff. that helps me live. 

[studylustre]

(matcha latte anon🍵) hello carol!! first up, i wanna tell you that i love reading through your posts alot!! especially the soft boy™, it's so cute!!! >u

matcha latte (!!!) and the second time i met him (which was 2 weeks after), he remembered my order which was really nice and unexpected. also, i was with my friend that day, and i offered some yam chips (in a container) to another female collegue (since i am more used to seeing her, and also because i’m kinda shy to give him). he came to the table and gave back my container, and had a very small talk, in which he offered us drinks/ice cream but we declined. after my friend left, i continued studying and suddenly, he came to collect my cup which i was going to say thank you, but to my surprise, he placed another new cup of matchalatte for me!! i was shocked and didn’t know what to do so i just mouthed a thank you to him. at this point, my heart is already melting, considering this is the first time anyone has offered me a drink like this. we also said bye when he left. our third encounter: the next day, in which he came but i don’t think he had work. he sat at the chair in front of my table, but i was so HORRIBLY SHY that i didn’t look up that much. i have no idea if he was looking at me or not but it remained like this for about (more than) 5 minutes long?? after that, he went to stand near my table and said “no matcha latte today?” so i replied “yea mocha today” !!!! but we were interrupted by the female collegue who said “haha you talking to customer ah” *in chinese* but in like a jokingly manner. then i think the situation got shy and he said no in chinese once again and then we bid farewell :c. it was such good memories and i never met him after that, and i thought i never will. the only info i had about him was that he’s a year older than me. i think i’m a person who falls in love quite easily haha, so i couldn’t stop thinking about it for quite a while. fast forward to jun 14, i signed up for a school camp (i usually don’t go to camps) with 2 of my friends. it was a camp with 5 different schools. as time passed on during the first day,i couldn’t help but notice this guy felt familiar?? i kept noticing the way he talked, the way he walked, and it hinted me that it mIGHT be him ?? (i’m not very good at remembering faces, and also his hair is also wayyyy longer than before) during that night, i was talking to my friend about how i had a feeling that it was him, but i don’t know if i really want to know if it’s him (bc he seemed close to this girl, and my self-esteem is quite low :c). but i decided that i should just ask him. during the next day, i didn’t see him around often, but i couldn’t quite find the courage to ask him, and i don’t really want to do it infront of my friends. when the camp was nearing to an end, i almost thought i won’t ask him, but man i just went with it, go up to him and awkwardly goes like “wait, did u work in a cafe before?” he seemed hesistant so i thought i got the wrong guy, but NO! IT WAS REALLY HIM! aaaa but we got interrupted again, and one person asked if we were cousins LOL.we didn’t manage to talk alot, but found out we’re in the same school??? but he’s year 3 while i’m year 2. once again, i was really amazed to meet him again such circumstances, and that we were in the same school all along?? i thought i would meet him sometime soon,,, but turns out i was wrong.. i didn’t have any contact of him and once again, as time goes by, i didn’t think much about him again. fast forward early to end jul-early aug, i signed up for a japan uni talk (once again, not something i usually go for but somehow did). on that day, i was thinking about how long i’ve never met café guy but was happy cause i’m over it. but life decides to (idek what life is trying to do to me) bring him back into the picture again! i was waiting for my friend when i suddenly saw this familiar looking guy, i only saw him walking two steps (he’s blocked by a pillar) and i had a gut feeling that it might be him. but this time he was wearing glasses and his hair is short now. after seem peaking around here and there, it turns out it really was him??!?! at that point of time, i was very shy and awkward, it was hard for me to say hi or anything, i was just freaking out. to sum up that day, i basically didn’t manage to say hi to him (regrets :cc). but my friend, managed to find a mutual friend of both of us’s instagram. i went to follow him and found café’s guy instagram eventually!! to sum up, i eventually used my main account to follow him, in which he followed back ( that was like almost a 3 day process uwu). also, i dropped huge hints to lowkey scream *i’m the matcha latte i hope u remember me!!!* aaaa he dm-ed me and ask if im the matcha latte girl!!! we talked abit (not alot really) and (yesterday) he said he’s working but at another chain of the café (which is about 3 mins walking distance to the café i met him & usually go to). he asked what time i was leaving, and since i was meeting my friend, i said around late 5 to 6. he then said his break was only at 6plus, so i thought maybe i can wait a little longer to catch him (but i was a little afraid to meet him as well haha) i was going to pack my bag when he came!!! he immediately came to my table and talked to me!!! but my friend called me so i had to pick up, when it ended, he came back to my table again and we talked for about 20mins?? it was nice talking to him (some context: my mind usually goes blank when making conversations with people!!! >u

hi angel!! sorry for the late reply - i saw ur ask a little while ago but bc i didn’t have my laptop (it was off for repairs) i couldn’t reply :(( anyway, it sounds like ur both mutually interested in each other!! i think u should go for it. i mean, from what i can tell, it sounds like u kinda like this guy (u seem rly excited whenever u catch glimpses of him and idk i feel like he definitely made a big impression on u bc why else would u a) remember all your interactions b) get so excited about seeing him time and time again and c) bother to tell me all this, right? ✨) like it just seems like u both have interest in each other but are too shy to make a move. i think u should go for it bc u’ve already nearly lost him several times now - u only get so many chances and i feel like u might regret it if u don’t do anything and just let this opportunity slide… also i think u might be overthinking it - you may be different people, yes, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing?? also u guys don’t really know each other all that well yet so it’s really too soon to be worrying so much, just try to take the time to get to know each other better and then see how things go once u have a better grasp on who he is etc. u have nothing to lose from giving it a shot, especially since u already hope for it to work out, so why hold urself back and deprive urself of something that could potentially make u a really happy? everyone’s scared of things and it’s natural to be scared of something like this, but it would be a shame to let that fear hold u back from something that could be really great

[packitandgo]

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 some people. I was tagged by @jamthedingus (ILY DI)

LAST:

1. Drink: Pepsi

2. Phone call: mm... I wanna say my pharmacy?

3. Text message: heck if I know!! my phone doesn't have service right now lol

4. Song you listen to: the suffering game ost! specifically storm top dog

5. Time you cried: last week when I listened to ep 66 of taz (I'm still crying about lucretia tbh)

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: not really!

8. Been cheated on: nah

9. Lost someone special: not really

10. Been depressed: HA

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: lmao yes, like... last week it was Embarrassing

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. anything in the aqua teal range

13. Mulberry

14. orange shades

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: heck yeah

16. Fallen out of love:... kind? of?? it's confusing lol

17. Laughed until you cried: like last night!

18. Found out someone was talking about you: well I found out my gfbf rambled about me to her chat group A LOT MORE than i thought (#^^#)ゞ

20. Found out who your friends are: uhhh sure?

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: AM I EVEN FB FRIENDS WITH AMBER. i dont even know

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: technically all of them?? but i actually Remember very few of them

23. Do you have any pets: a very fluffy skittish kitty named Dinah!!

24. Do you want to change your name: nah im good!

25. What did you do for your last birthday: had like 5 friends over for wine n pizza!

26. What time do you wake up: 10 or 11

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: chilling on tumblr while listening to mbmbam

28. Name something you can’t wait for: my day off tomorrow!

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: end of august when she left the country haha

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: KNOWING I WAS INTO GIRLS EARLIER instead of dealing w jealousy n internalised shit

31. What are you listening to right now: how to be a heartbreaker

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: there's a chef named tom where i work!

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: when we get TOO MANY EXTRA people at work n have to add a shit ton of new place settings and run out of food

34. Most visited website: tumblr, ao3, ... tbh thats like IT lmao

35. Mole/s: 2 on my face by my mouth, 2 or 3 on my neck, and then LOTS elsewhere too

36. Mark/s: mmm not rly? a few random scars on my legs i guess

37. Childhood dream: lmao i think it was to be a teacher bc school?? was all i knew???

38. Hair color: dark dirty blonde

39. Long or short hair: shoulder length! but i need to cut it soon

40. Do you have a crush on someone: mmm ye n im dating her (IM V LUCKY)

41. What do you like about yourself: uhhhhh idk? eyes i guess?

42. Piercings: just my earlobes

43. Blood type: O

44. Nicknames: jenna, skya

45. Relationship status: happy <3

46. Zodiac: aries! with a sag moon

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: GUH idk? probably galavant or leverage or b99... or pnf or FMAB or or or

50. Right or left hand: left!

51. Surgery: dont think ive had any!!

52. Hair dyed in different color: SOMEDAY when i dont work in customer service i maybe want like./.. blue or purple

53. Sport: haikyuu!! (u meant sports anime, right?)

55. Vacation: greece!!! chilling on a beach n seeing historical sites. OR california/west coast in general to visit friends n road trip OR toronto...

56. Pair of trainers: uhhh i have. some? yes. they're p cool actually they're black n aqua n have POCKETS

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: like... right now? nothing.. i just had matcha gelato tho!

58. Drinking: WATER

59. I’m about to: nap while i wait for my video game to re-download

62. Want: a bigger bed n more snuggles

63. Get married: hides face

64. Career: professional Napper. idk bruh i dont rly want a career i just want enough money to buy all the shit i want n feel secure in life, yanno?

65. Hugs or kisses: OH MAN THATS SO HARD??? but. i think hugs? esp if we're including cuddles.

66. Lips or eyes: both?

67. Shorter or taller: DEPENDS but im gonna go with shorter

68. Older or younger:  older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms!! in that i want strong arms of my own n also they make me flush (soft stomachs ARE nice stomachs)

71. Sensitive or loud: ???

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: t-troublemaker? iguess??

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: nope i only kiss friends +

75. Drank hard liquor:  ya

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: CONSTANTLY

77. Turned someone down: LMAO no, ive never had to

78. Sex on the first date: not for meee

79. Broken someone’s heart: i REALLY doubt it haha

80. Had your heart broken: not really

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: once or twice

83. Fallen for a friend: OFTEN

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: ... im working on it

85. Miracles: why not

86. Love at first sight: like yes, love no

87. Santa Claus: i love tim allen

88. Kiss on the first date: sure!

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: kelcee

91. Eye color: blue~

92. Favorite movie: MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

SO MANY QUESTIONS it was fun tho~

i’m tagging... @boudiscanon @abstract-sunshine @acesiren @rlyqueer @zheenterprize and anyone else who wants to do it~~

[dormibein]

sup nerds i was tagged by @plantboye for this ask meme it’s long asf but LETS GOO

THE LAST: 1. Drink: watah

2. Phone call: my boyfriend

3. Text message: “just got off work, am a hungry boy”

4. Song you listened to: hhhhh does the entire new lorde album count

5. Time you cried: haha last night


HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: mmm yes

8. Been cheated on: no

9. Lost someone special: yeah

10. Been depressed: yes

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: also yes

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 1. GREEN ya know like matcha green 2. periwinkle 3. peach

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes!!

16. Fallen out of love: more than once

17. Laughed until you cried: i think jokes are x10 funnier than your average jokester so yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: kinda but i dont rly care anyway lmao

19. Met someone who changed you: a few

20. Found out who your friends are: yes and i love them with my Whole Heart

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: haha this is weird but yea

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like all of them?

23. Do you have any pets: my cat whom i would die for

24. Do you want to change your name: already done

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: nothingg i keep it lowkey

26. What time did you wake up: at like 10 i guess

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: haha throwback to #5

28. Name something you can’t wait for: graduating tbh


30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: hhhhmyself

31. What are you listening to right now: Shot Down by Khalid

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: uh ??

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: me

34. Most visited Website: right smack dab in this pit

35. Mole/s: a lil shoulder mole

36. Mark/s: mmmy tummy birthmark that’s never seen the light of day

37. Childhood dream: dancing, writing, and being a scientist

38. Haircolor: blue/gray

39. Long or short hair: short

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes

41. What do you like about yourself?: ?

42. Piercings: septum, ears

43. Bloodtype: dunno

44. Nickname: Fee, nerd, gayboy, etc.

45. Relationship status: in a relationship

46. Zodiac: aries

47. Pronouns: he/him

48. Favorite TV Show: currently, stranger things and dear white people 

49. Tattoos: not yet!

50. Right or left hand: righty

51. Surgery: also not yet!

52. Hair dyed in different color: yyup

53. Sport: volleyball, swmming, boxing, dancing

55. Vacation: uh take me somewhere on the coast plz

56. Pair of trainers: what

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: i just ate like 5 billion raspberries

58. Drinking: watah

59. I’m about to: work on my art portfolio

61. Waiting for: death JUST KIDDING but not really

62. Want: death JUST JOKES but also yeah

63. Get married: would like this

64. Career: uhhh someone please hire me to design your set for plays/musicals ive worked in a few theatres just Take Me

65. Hugs or kisses: uhBOTH

66. Lips or eyes: uhALSO BOTH

67. Shorter or taller: why must you make me choose i love the tight embrace of someone shorter than me but also a firm pap on the head from someone taller  than me is satisfying stop making me make decisions

68. Older or younger: older probably

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: uh i like my tum

71. Sensitive or loud: i am Both

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: extremely hesitant but can also cause some Trouble

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: yes

75. Drank hard liquor: yes

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: ugh yes 

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex in the first date: uh no thank u !

79. Broken someone’s heart: unfortunately and unintentionally yes

80. Had your heart broken: yes

81. Been arrested: psh nah staying indoors with the covers up is what i call a Wild nite tbh

82. Cried when someone died: no one close to me has died but yes when pets have passed

83. Fallen for a friend: ooooooh, oh, oooohhhhh, yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: uh

85. Miracles: depends on how desperate i am

86. Love at first sight: mmnot really but anything is possible

87. Santa Claus: yeah santa is my sugar daddy

88. Kiss in the first date: have done but dont prefer; the most meaningful relationships go slo

89. Angels: i didn’t used to but then i saw Beyonce existed and changed my whole religion

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: i have Many

91. Eye color: literally unknown, green? turqoise? gray? blue? no one knows

92. Favorite movie: um every single Miyazaki film, Moonlight, Heathers, and some other movies i love for the visuals + storylines tbh

aight heres who im tagging sory this is so ungodly long guys also sry to the people whove already been tagged i dont know many people on tumblr: @ghost-fiend, @ranchman, @petitphichitt, @wizardpajamas, @chocolate-otaku, @crystaltheotaku

[rpgwiki]

tagged by @crazy-platinum​ ( ty ! )

are you named after someone i think my birthname was from one of my great grandmas ? i mean it doesnt rly matter since i dont use it that often

when was the last time you cried ive gotten to the verge of tears recently but i havent full out cried in a while

do you like your handwritting its okay 

what is your favorite lunch meat i dont usually go for the meat options but salamis good

do you have kids if that includes the entire class of 1A of UA then yes

if you were another person, would you be friends with you i would either see them as a mutual or come at them w a knife

do you use sarcasm ofc

do you still have your tonsils ya but tbh i dont know what its function is since a ton of ppl have to get them removed

would you bungee jump ya if i was bored enough and if i had money

what is your favorite kind of cereal definitely lucky charms back in the day but i usually eat honey oats ( usually strawberry )

do you untie your shoes every time you take them off it depends tbh

do you think you’re a strong person yeah i got a strong will to die

what is your favorite ice cream flavor matcha definitely

what is the first thing you notice about people their taste in fashion mostly and the vibe they give off

red or pink both are good colors but pink

what is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself any fucking allergic reaction i get 

what color pants and shoes are you wearing right now neither im wearing my jibanyan kigu rn

what was the last thing you ate a choco chip cookie

what are you listening to right now nothing atm but i have megitsune stuck in my head

if you were a crayon, what color would you be hmm either indigo or silver

favorite smell to name a few the ocean, roses, incense, woodsy smells mostly

who was the last person you spoke to on the phone my call history says it was my dad :^/

favorite sport to watch i dont usually watch sports excluding sports anime. i kinda just watch stuff thats in the olympics sometimes ( usually w singapore )

hair color dark brown ( almost black ) but if i dyed my hair i would either like it to be forest green or a silver white

eye color brown ( also dark as well )

do you wear contacts nah i dont need glasses

favorite food to eat probably general asian candies that u can find at those giant asian supermarkets

scary movies or comedy i do like horror but the movies are okay and i dont really go to see comedies

last movie you watched rogue one :’^))

what color shirt are you wearing still in my kigu

summer or winter winter tho summer is nice if ur by the coast

hugs or kisses im not rly a fan of hugs so i guess kisses 

what book are you currently reading school ruined reading for me so the only i read nowadays is manga

who do you miss right now idk i dont really feel too attached to anyone rn

what is on your mousepad dont use one anymore

what is the last TV program you watched i watched americas top model w my friend the other day lmao

what is the best sound mm probably ocean waves

rolling stones or the beatles the beatles i guess

what is the furthest you ever traveled singapore ( the hell flight is 18 hrs )

do you have a special talent depression

where were you born escondido ( its so gross imo but not as cursed as my hometown )

people you expect to participate in this survey ppl who have too much time lmao

im tagging the squad and anyone else whos up for it

[kashmirichaiwithmehr]

Ooh! Can I ask if you have any fave Kashmiri chai brands? 👀 I’m p sure u like coffee and tea (right?) but what about boba? Does caffeine “work” on/for you? Favorite syrup and favorite sweetener? Give me all the random drink opinions plz 🤲🏽

U HAVE STRUCK A CHORD ! ! !

unfortunately i have no favourite kashmiri chai brands bc i just drink what my mom or daadi or naani make for me using tea leaves (we dont like the fake stuff)

and yes i LOVE coffee and tea hehehe. i used to drink boba/bubble tea a LOT in high school and university but i dont anymore bc i just dont like it anymore. im a simple person so i used to like the plain milk tea, or earl grey milk tea, or strawberry (things along those lines). omg but on the RARE occasions that i do want something ill get taro <333 i love taro. ive been buying the binggrae taro milk boxes from my local asian grocery store and yes theyre pricey and hella sweet but omg when i make an iced latte w it or a matcha w it its soooooooooooo good and my moms in love w it too hehe

when i go to tea shops now i just get plain unsweetened/milk-less green or oolong teas (hot or iced depending on my mood). ive been getting hot alishan oolong tea from this one place and omg im in love. and i loveeeeeee genmaicha or boricha <3333333

usually i wouldve recommended st*rb*cks stuff but we are not about that anymore so for ur average coffee shop/cafe i would suggest any type of mocha (regular or white mocha - basic ik but idc), lavender syrup(?), cardamom !!!!!, cinnamon (basic again). im not a biggg brown sugar syrup fan sry to upset the masses. and i dont reallyyyy drink sweet drinks :(( (only once in a while now!). but also any kind of nutty flavours are *chefs kiss*

torani and monin have some reallyyy good syrup/sauce options! and their caramel drizzle is rly good

alsoooo i love using my french press and ive been making masala coffee in it (basically i take everything i would put into my masala chai and add it to my french press w the grounds) and then i add milk (alternatives only 4 me) to it once its poured into my cup

[shytiff]

June Small Wins

1 - ecmocard meeting with ppl from aussie to learn to sort out data. Felt better after the meeting cause i didnt feel like doing anything before. Got two season deli box cake from dapur cokelat for nessa. Videocalled w her and ren.

2 - dr eva chatted and gave things to do. I also need to make intern log for dr retha. I just cant bring myself to start. Finally mustered the courage. Im not the type of person for wfh. At least in this house. Finished reading love or hate. I rly felt like shit at night.

3 - started reading positively yours. Had no will to do anything

4 - some more sending spss work for dr eva. weekdays with no “outside work” rly render me useless in functioning. a vegetable

5 - iluni webinar. Lost my attention during electrolyte and fluid stuff. tried to cook ribeye steak lmao (meat from @/fridaymeatshop). Its too chewy and leathery. But its not too welldone. And at least it tastes good. Went to depok by krl. its quite quick since krl arrived just after im at poris and duri. went ahead of silvi devi. satpam on the lobby wont open the access hhhh (i dont have one. i dunno why. mom said she cant find it although we supposedly have 2). but my mood improved once im upstairs. we prepped a bit of deco. conversed in the dark so not to make racheel suspicious. surprisee. had truffle belly chicken cheese for dinner. the cheese was not to cheesy, its more of a gentle taste. mushroom tastes better. we watched sweet and sour from my mobile data. surprisingly, its not that much of data. slept at like 12-1ish

6 - the electric token went out in the morning. we went for a walk in ui. the PLK man across of st ui forbade us from going in. ugh. but it was rly empty. so we went from barel. its empty on the library. there was a dog that walked along with us. talked a bit in front of the lake. went back. i got 2 moon chicken (the basic flavor and not the wings) and spicy jumeokbap. the jumeokbap was nothing like what i had in korea. like the seaweed’s taste doesnt come out that much, and its not that flavorful/savory. the one in korea its good even by itself. went back to jkt nebeng reza silvi with devi. originally planned to go to flavola, but my head kinda hurts, so i finished my moon chicken at the mushola and asked juan to pick me up. still feel healthy and normal after going and staying out, so i started reading a book abt handwriting analysis lmaoo. fell asleep. tried several attempts to figure out my bpjs number and turns out the best there is to respond is BPJS’ twitter. the problem was solved under 5 mins. 

7 - woke up, fell asleep again. Adita told me that i might be interviewed today for the ipd intern but theres no info. Did the registration stuff for my bpjs. Registered for npwp. Watched bts x na pd

8 - off to RSF. its audit day today. hiks to phonecall follow up work. i did not do anything inaco related, i just sat there and did dr dafsah’s excel. dr vera bought me pecel ayam hehe yay. went to como park to meet up with indah regen. tried ricotta pizza from pizza place (33k). the cheese is cheese but not that typical cheesy (?) coupled with mushroom. i had to add sauce to withstand the last bites (still kinda full). tried other’s as well, pesto and mushroom. pesto had the most taste. while waiting for doggo to arrive, we bought gelato (S: 35k). apparently their special flavor was ricotta lmao. tried green tea (bitter, which i like) and peanut butter + caramel, which makes you feel thirsty. watched the doggos from the sidelines. after maghrib we went to 1/15. ordered ice mocha (50k). the chocolate taste stood out more. not gonna order again lol. the staff initially recommended pandan flavor. took grab to gbk station to go home.

9 - rsf. second audit day. i hate it here lmao. im not even paid for my time here. excused myself to eat. turns out mbak Ai bought hokben. i almost forgot thanking her since i felt hungry with a bit of headache. talked a bit with dr retha regarding changes of assistant (since internship is soon). went back and immediately laid down in bed. mom bought pizza so thats what i ate for dinner. fell asleep (i can feel it. my face will get consequences)

10 - cant bring myself to do anything. i reread painter of the night lmao. seungho is a prick. inhun is also a prick (a greedy one). ate arirang bone marrow. put the egg-seasoning mixture to the pan since im not confident enough to just pour boiling water into the bowl. felt surprisingly full. went to sbux. green tea latte as usual. but turns out tumblr 50% promo only applies to sbux member. so i had to pay 40k for my green tea latte. at least i got to feel good from outside vibes. did some follow up for INACO patients. 

11 - went to rm rsf. Took lots of photos of RM. I was given rujak by the rm staff lmaoo so cute. Didnt do any entry afterwards lmao i just laid down

12 - breakfast is paldo jjajangmen and egg. It tasted like soy. Its good but not in a micin way. Its quite fulfilling. Had some of the beef slices by putting it in a buttered pan (is it pan fried? Grilled? Idk). Had banana and brownies together (makes it rly good). Did a bit of clires work. I drank sbux's caramel macchiato but yall my stomach cant handle it lmao. It hurts so much that i even got a headache. So i just laid down in bed

13 - had arirang again loll. Inserted the egg to the pan still, but quicker this time. Its too salty today. Maybe its not enough water. I was eating it while googling how to remove excess sodium. Ate the rest of beef slices (shared with bros ofc) and mixed some with moms fried rice. Ate banana brownies again. Felt soooo full. Did some clires work accompanied by sbux matcha

14 - i felt like shit this morning. Watched leahs vid. Listened to her podcast while having bfast. I walked from moms car to bougenville while still feeling like shit. It slowly gets better afterwards, thankfully. Did some clires and follow up. Went to gandy steak in dr retha's car (which had anesthesiology textbook inside). Tried aus sirloin steak. The bread tasted ok. The garlic bread also ok. The mashed potato was so so (the one in depok was more creamy and smooth). The steak was good, especially the fat part, the sauce so so. Honestly that depok steak had more value for money compared to this, i think. Nebeng dr rara and husband to busway station. Arrived in ar and i immediately showered, such wow 👏👏

15 - today is no rsf day aka self made wfh day. Moms getting vaccinated today. I just lazed. And read kanej fics

16 - off to rsf. Took care of rm stuff. Tried social affair's croffle since i was so curious (60k [10k tip]). The nutella and cinnamon sugar one. Its crunchy and a bit crumbly inside, but not as fragile as croissant. Its quite fulfilling too. But its basically flour batter variations. (thats what mom would say). randomly chatted racheel and we ended up taking a walk and a bit of jog citra 6 (with my sneakon regular shoes). My left tendon was screaming lol. Picked up by juan who surprisingly effortlessly found the address at night.

17 - mbak aan chatted me today to go to rscm. Met prof murdani at pesc and he gave me ppt assigment for 13:30 THAT DAY. Finished it unsatisfyingly (i wish i couldve done more). Lunch was free bebek bkb yay thankyou Prof c: (he even asked what did i ate) took care of legalisir stuff. Went home by tj. Drank matcha w vsoy and i somehow was not sleepy after maghrib. I also changed my desj layout. Maybe it kinda works to separate my spaces

18 - arrived at rscm at 8-ish. sent updated thibbun nabawi ppt. literature search. and then somehow its 14:30. went to SCI w ara wani rasyid. tried bandeng nyonya, oyster, salmon, cumi lada garam (its crazy good among all the good tasting food wtff), shrimp and pocai telor (veggie stuff). dessert was thailand cassava. spent about 190k. went back by TJ. had wudu at pulomas and prayed ashar on the bus lol. i passed out after playing w my phone lmaoo  

19 - spent almost the whole day just sleeping and eating. finally showered in the afternoon. had matcha vsoy latte after maghrib and with enough day sleeping, i did presentation outline. at like 1/2 am i initially planned to sleep but my eyes still have plenty of watts. so i read hold me tight. slept at like 4/5 am

20 - woke up at 9. off to om dokter’s house to ask for healthy letter. we talked almost the entire time im there lol. before u know it mom and dad’s done talking with grandma. om dokter shared some of his experiences in the past. and he said something about making your choice and living with it, and it will all have a meaning even if you might initially agonize about it. girl i was holding back tears. here he was talking about choices, something i never rly talk about at my house. im getting teary just typing this. he talked about it in a way that sounds simple, even though i agonized abt internship choices and sometimes avoid thinking about it. it rly rly was a new experience. i dont rly talk about “choices” with my parents. so hearing how to go through options in life from a person i can relate to regarding this med stuff is. i feel like i would have loved it if i can hear his wisdom earlier. i dont talk with him much if my parents are around bcs they will just meddle and say stuff that wreck my peace. they dont rly know what im going through but can be very opinionated. this peaceful one on one talk rly made me feel relieved and reassured. and i was today years old when i found out he initially wanted to be a psychiatrist. he would have been a great psychiatrist. i feel like we have some understanding thats left unsaid. like he knows how my parents are like. he would probably understand why i dont talk with him much at AR. after what feels super quick, we went back to AR. registered for STR. searched some literature for the topics that Prof is the moderator of. powered by matcha energy

21 - rscm as usual. the Prof did not come. lunch was bread i brought from home. waited for mom to pick me up at kfc so i bought pukis kfc. its like properly made pukis and not the street seller made ones. the chocolate one was good since the toppings generous. felt a bit feverish? like my body felt warm. fell asleep and then suddenly its 6 am in the morning. 

22 - Prof still did not came. had amart’s ayam penyet jamur for lunch. turns out juan bought ayam geprek gendut for dinner. night time is diarrhea time lmaooooo. did not feel sleepy at AR but i skipped shower again lmao,,,,,,,, and then suddenly its morning again

23 - jajan from sisterfield today. tried their carrot cake and kopi susu gula aren. the carrot cake has that carrot texture. its different. the icing was fresh cream cheese that made the cake taste good. the coffee made my stomach ache a bit. it has that subtle chocolatey taste. fell asleep again. third time’s the charm (of 1x/day face wash). woke up at 3 am planning to sleep but i ended up washing my face. turns out atikah was still awake due to AZ fever.

24 - this is the bestest sleep i had in this week (?) had a dream about going to bandung and the car falling to water. forgot my headset today. can finally meet prof Mur. talked abt inaco stuff w agassi. reread komugi meruem lmaoo. felll asleep. somehow had the misfortune of hearing dad’s hurtful words to mom. i want to fall asleep again but its difficuly. i went through stages of pent up anger, some sort of selfishness (i will go out from jakarta for internship), amazement to mom, and... (continue 2moro)

25 - lunch was dori rice from kanprim thanks to rasyid’s jastip. watched bts’ butter norebang lolll :(((. arrived at AR the fastest ive been. mom came to me right before maghrib and  summed some stuff dad said yesterday. she handled it in a trivial way. like she was unaffected. and that somehow helped me too. stuck around in the dining room for a while after maghrib. talked about internship w mom. i left some chance for dad to yap yap abt whatever related to internship (thankfully songs were full volume through my wireless headset) while im inhaling through my matcha latte. i wont write what he said bcs its lowkey super embarrassing. thank the gods for wireless speakers. 

26 - did not do anything productive today. Had arirang salted egg for bfast (wont repurchase). Had the meat cubes i bought online and its rly good. Ran with racil at citra 6. The tendon in my left feet hurt lol. Gmeet with ara et al to discuss internship review

27 - lazed. Wanted to start my day early but couldnt bring myself to. Binge watched twoset videos. Did clires stuff. 1 more RM to wait from IRMIK. No gastro intern work this weekend aaaa im starting to panic.

28 - juan came along otw to rscm. Talked about iship otw. brought tons of stuff to eat, including matcha latte, but i was unable to finish it lol. Discussed research budgeting w Prof. Didnt do anything in home. Starting to panic with my ppt progress.

29 - discussed budgeting revision. Prof thought abt little details i didnt even consider. Didnt do anything while at ar anjengggg

30 - prof did not come to dept today. Listemed to agassi rambling abt intern stuff. Immediately opened my laptop in ar. Watched two set. Played marapets lmaooo i finally managed to gather 3 au for shop pricer. But still didnot wash my face 👁️👄🤦‍♀️ maybe bcs i hate doing what people tells me to do (re: shower due to covid scare). Had a nightmare abt being in a car ride alone w dad and it was rly rly awkward

[shytiff]

May Small Wins

1 - lazed, went to racheel’s place and put my motorbike there, went to slipi jaya with silvi devi reza to watch seobok (it was fun!!), had iftar at the yumz green sedayu. It was raining when we get back. prayed maghrib and isya in some random mosque. went back and arrived at like 8 past sumn. showered, slept like a babyy

2 - lazed, slept and woke up at like 11, went to nila’s house, practiced doing eyeliner by borrowing nila's (focallure brand), iftar at green sedayu foodcourt (originally intended to go to the yumz but it enforces actual distancing) with angkot ppl minus tik will. Arrived home at about 9-ish.

3 - magang as usual. Went to rm. Took mrt to lebak bulus. My inaco salary finally came. My head kinda hurts after tarawih. Ended up skimming over bj alex lmaooo. Did not shower today lol,,,,

4 - added dr dafsah's revision to the excel database otw to rsf. Pak nardi took a while to arrive. Left rsf early to go to the bank. I (((finally))) activated m-banking lmaooo wow the features are neat wow im not jahiliah anymore. Found this method of just let it sweat anyway during tarawih lmaoo. Preferably with long sleeves bcs somehow you feel less of the sweaty feel compared to tshirt.

5 - sampling - data entry - RM as usual. Theres no new RM. Read a goood dramione fic by bex chan even if its not complete, its okay. Im okay :"))). Iftar was soup, salad, chicken katsu and french fries. Its been 2 days that i practiced sleeping-to-rain-sound. The first night was spent as a dreamless quick sleep (its over before you knew it), but tonight i dreamed abt almira's wedding lmaoo.

6 - no sampling today!! Still went to rsf tooo go to the mall w regen lmao. Did some data entry. Went to PP by mrt. Went back by going to halte gbk and thankfully the kalideres one arrived after only waiting for 5 mins. Its surprisingly quick, compared to lebak bulus - pesakih trip. Took abt 20 mins to jelambar.

7 - no sampling today too. Dr vera gave us lebaran cookies! Did gcp for bu suryati a5. Went to rm, finally finished the available rm. Went home early. Can finally relax since its the weekend.

8 - literally laid in bed til my body hurts. Rly want to read sumn but dunno what. Finally decided to read momoiro heaven. And rere hello. And after iftar i read lack of love. And just like tht, my saturday was gone. Cant bring myself to do things

9 - its another day of lazying (or self sabotaging, cant tell). Read spy family and its effin hilarious. Wasted my sunday. Cant bring myself to even move and i just laid in bed all day.

10 - last day of work in the weeekend lmao. Felt better than being in AR, but still not that much productivity. Went to RM. Phone call w fianti along the way to plan food in almira's bridal shower. Went back at 12-ish. Picked up my dress from risma busana. Walked to and fro halte kebon jeruk. Prayed zuhur close to ashar in kfc's mushola. Felt better after ~8k steps. Had homelab's green tea mixed with vsoy. It honestly made me feel better. Matcha, or caffeine, sure is amazing. At least i had a sense of normalcy before losing all the will to self-care

11 - consumed internet entertainment u til i was sick and tired of it. Watched a lot of cut videos. Granny came and stayed over. So i slept upstairs

12 - same as 11 but upstairs. More relatives came near iftar time so i excused myself to shower. Slept in mom n dads room at like 12-ish. Watched hp goblet of fire since keisha and karins newest obsession was draco. We squealed together over liking enemies to lovers trope haha,,,,

13 - Somehow all of dad's jakarta relatives came for lebaran. the last time i checked, there were some bridges being burned. prayed eid at home. watched perempuan tanah jahanam (which was surprisingly not scary). ate. napped. talked about personal things w keisha and karin. i cant believe the time has finally come where we talk about this kinda stuff. watched you’re next (it barely has any plot, just gore). they went back at about 8 pm and i just sleptttt yall lmao i didnt shower today. disgusting, i know

14 - cam barely get out of bed. Managed to shower at zuhur time. Watched dalbang and laughed like crazy bcs its just that funny. Read fanfics. Tiktok. Ate once and had greenfield yogurt at the evening. Fell asleep. Woke up at 1 and snacked on 1 pack of oat krunch

15 - run bts. Originally planned to go to flavola but it was still closed, so i went to dm's dunkin. Ordered orange juice and oeanut choco donut but somehow the price wasnt package price hhh. Turns out my clires account was somehow banned. So i contacted the admin. Instead of doing dr dafsah's excel i ended up taking off the makara sticker from my laptop. Bought some stuff for almira's bridal shower. Bought arirang at hari2 (its funny bcs yesterday i was seeing online marketplace, planning to buy it, but turns out hari2 the magical place had buy 2 get +1 deal for arirang.

16 - run bts. Managed to move my body a bit. Did 20 squats (ill elaborate on this later). That improved my mood. Tidied up some of my stuff. Saw the paper bag of random memorabilias by friends.

17 - went to rsf by tj. left kalideres 06:45 and arrived at RSF 8:15. sampling. went to RM (still no new ones). picked up by mom. went to salemba for almira’s bridal shower. originally planned to get padang at citra minang behind BK but it was closed. so we drove around looking for open ones. ended up buying it in a small (but crowded) padang place near a big padang restaurant lmao. was the first one to arrive at acacia. checked in, pulled the bed near the wall. showered. its hilarious sometimes with a bit more serious discussion anjayy. went home w febby who drove and clara

18 - went to mcd to get lunch (since everyone’s fasting) and tried to muster the will to do something. i didnt manage to do anything except shopping online (brought dusty pink hijab at hijup). got spicy chicken and iced coffee. (spoiler alert: tomorrow i got mencret2 lmaooo). read my suha and beyond the skidipapap its actually rly good

19 - went to RSF (with mom as usual. quickly snapped RM pictures while mom was waiting. went with her to mami’s house bcs she and uwak will fly to banjar. finally got to meet haekal, he’s such a smiley babyy its basically free therapy. planned outing with nisa lmao. from soekarno hatta we went to vintage vibes lmao since we’re already out. vintage vibes is more crowded now. and there’s less good findings now. went back emptyhanded. ate chicken arirang since there’s no food. fell asleep at like 06:30 until early morning lmaooo

20 - woke up at 2-ish am, played my phone, fell asleep at like 9?, woke up again at 11 lmaooo. went to sbux. had matcha latte. did some inaco work. todays the most productive ive been this week.

21 - went to gi with febby to also meet up with fi, bought falsies and glue (later proved to be of a horrible quality), siraman and pengajian almira (first time seeing an actual siraman), went to blok m w nes ren ara gen. Tried naruto takoyaki at little tokyo, went to daitokyo (i didnt eat anything), and got matcha cake, sakura and mango raspberry gelato at kebun ide. Picked up by mom. Renata gifted me bts 2021 winter package photocard 🥺🥺

22 - iluni internship webinar by dr naldo. Grabbed fried chicken master. Stupid time management etcetc made my start makeup at 12 (febby went out at 13:30). My falsies and hijabdo was done by herrr thank god for the help. Went to swissbel. Didnt take a pic w almira bcs time. Almiras wedding at damai indah golf pik. My skin was TERRIBLE at the wedding. The make up didnt stick prolly bcs of vitacid. Thank god for masks,,, went back home w febbyy. Made tiktok lmao

23 - lazed. Went to flavola. Its finally daytime caffeine again w kopsuscok. Did dr triya's translation work and finished it at home. She transferred the fee at like 11pm

24 - off to RSF with mom. no new medical records. wrote fuad’s name on the medrec borrowing form. continued to nisa’s place w mom. lazed, played w haekal, put some patient’s phone number on the inaco excel. Off to GBK with nisa and sarah. parked at abc field (shouldve parked near GBK’s H gate). saw moja museum 2.0, took lots of pics. mo paint (moral lesson: draw the background first!! not the foreground). finished at 16:30. ashar at masjid al-bina. nisa dropped me off at gbk tj station. prayed maghrib on the bus since the traffic was so ughh. met atikah in lippo puri. decided to eat seirockya so we walked to puri. talked about a certain someone along the way. we rly talked about it while walking until we arrived at seirockya. atikah treated me uyeyy since she and racheel will stay in depok for 2 weeks starting tomorrow. got the shoyu ramen and gyoza. took the taxi to atikah’s place. mom’s waiting there lmaoo i was like “noo dont wait at jco, just wait at atikah’s”. still felt energized that night in my bed. no sleepy2. like 100% awake. 

25 - woke up at like 9:30. i basically did nothing today. didnt even shower lmao (i showered last night). read the good teacher in one go. zoom meeting w dr eva. i rly need some structure in life, goshhh

26 - showered and went to mcd. got nasi uduk, breakfast wrap and milo for 26k (thanks mcd app promo and mcd duta garden’s menu machine, i dont have to interact with another human). planning to do dr dafsah’s excel after all the data is complete, and still no new inaco data, so i ended up.... online shopping at bobobobo....... (bought outer and white culotte). tidied up the writings on my stickies (plenty of words has accumulated). ordered onejai for emir juan (expensive!!! 79k no promo lolll but free delivery. i was baited by gojek’s 1k 2 week subscription and felt like hmmm i should get something since we live in the middle of nowhere and free deliveries felt significant at that particular time when im holding my phone lmao). fell asleep after drinking vsoy + matcha lol its soft caffeine no longer works i guess

27 - woke up late as usual, went to sbux at 1 pm. tried white peach matcha frapp. the peach overpowers and u can barely taste the matcha. tried to read something useful (in medicine) but skimmed 2 ppt and then i saw solid’s bitly for isip. finished reading banana fish. couldnt bawl my eyes out because im outside.

28 - checked out rsf. Still no new ones. Immediately went back. Lazed and wasted my time

29 - iluni webinar. Here comes the impending life crisis. Ate nasi uduk and mie goreng telor today. Tried vsoy golden grain with matcha. It has almond aftertaste. Line call with kris for almost 4 hrs until 11 past sumn pm.

30 - more iluni webinar. Dr Eric, SpPD, PhD was rly cool. Tried daily box (butter soy chicken). Quite tasty. Mkg w regen. Videocalled in the mall w silvi racil bcs its ale and nadaa's wedding today. Bought gooma 500ml matcha w gofood pickup discount. Ate sushi go (the shoyu has mirin btw). 50k+ you get 6 piece of sushi (2 salmon) and matcha cake and ocha. Quite a nice deal. Talked abt cryptocurrency lmao. Went back and forth w TJ. All hail tj

31 - planned to do at least some productive stuff at home. turns out nila is outside and had some time to spare. so we went out. i met her in citra 6. we went to pik’s white beach. its scorching hot since its 2 pm. spent like 15 mins there. we had wanted to stop by monsieur spoon but THERES A QUEUEEE even if its a hot afternoon. so we ate tom sushi at green sedayu. talked a bit afterwards in nila’s place and then i was picked up by emir. tried gooma’s matcha. its not sweet like sbux. approved by mom (who doesnt like sweets). but its more expensive than sbux’s 2L 100k promo lol. (45k after gopay pickup promo for 500 ml). reread bj alex lmaooooo found new tidbits

[studylustre]

hi love !! any recommendations for places to visit in seoul (restaurants, shops, etc.) ?? i know you just left so don't worry about answering too quickly, i understand :) it looked liked you had a wonderful time there and im super happy for you

oHH YES THIS IS THE ASK I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR MY FRIENDS,,, here we go!!! (ps this is so sweet omg thank u)

eateries/cafes ☕️

goobne chicken // ok so i know this is a chain but my brother bought it one night on a whim not realising and we both agreed that,, as self proclaimed foodies who live for good food,, THIS IS 100% THE BEST CHICKEN WE HAVE EVER HAD. it’s oven roasted but is somehow super crispy and flavoursome (almost similar to fried chicken in texture??) and soo succulent wow i’m rly salivating u have to try it ok treat urself u deserve some mind shatteringly good chicken. also it’s sponsored by exo so??? u KNOW it’s good

mr holmes bakehouse // they sell cruffins and matcha flavoured croissants my guy u 👏🏼   gotta 👏🏼  go 👏🏼   it’s also super aesthetically pleasing inside!! have u seen pics of the neon lights saying “i got baked in san francisco” floating around ig?? it’s from there anyway u have to go ok it’s so beautiful and the baked goods are amazing

arriate cafe // uMM the most aesthetically pleasing cafe of all time?? it’s got dried flowers everywhere, on the walls,, the ceilings,, on the tables and it’s so beautiful and the tea?? 10/10,, revolutionary,, i recommend the 유자차 (citrus tea)

dissent cafe // v good coffee and super aesthetically pleasing + minimalistic inside!!

sulbing // a rly popular dessert chain that sells korean shaved iced along w/ some other things. it’s always super packed inside and that’s bc their shaved ice IS THE BEST Y’ALL. u’ll find these everywhere (i think there’s quite a few in myeongdong and hongdae!!) so if u get the chance to go, go

소들녁 // we actually heard about this place through buzzfeed’s worth it series and they featured it on an episode w/ david chang, a famous chef and ok,,, if david chang says a place is good u gotta freakin go so we went and?? we had our minds blown y’all this bbq was so good i nearly cried and the staff were sooo lovely too!!! 10/10 seriously if u only go to one bbq place u go to while ur in seoul, let it be this one bc u will not regret it. also fun anecdote: my brother doesn’t speak any korean so he was just talking to the staff in english and when i whipped out my korean the server’s jaw legit dropped and she was visibly shook it made me v happy hehe

maple tree house // another korean bbq place!! it’s pretty damn good (imo not as good as 소들녁 but that place is like,, on a whole new level so)

sm cafe // if ur an sm fan…. u gotta go my dude this place is so aesthetically pleasing + the food and drinks and baked goods are actually surprisingly good like they’re not just relying on the sm name here they rly do have some bomb ass food?? also if ur lucky u might spot an idol so,, go (ps the toilets are rly pretty. that’s a weird statement but trust me)

osulloc // famous cafe for (green) tea!! if u like green tea u have to come here. their baked goods, tea and decorations are SO nice. trust

shops 🌟

stylenanda pink hotel // sooo aesthetically pleasing and they sell a lot of rly nice (kinda edgy) clothes, makeup and accessories. u should definitely check this place out!! it’s decorated like a hotel which is rly cool

common ground // kinda a shop but also not really - it’s more of a mall, which is made out of shipping containers!! the shops there are more indie brands from up and coming designers and the food there isn’t bad either ✌🏼

chuu // i never got to go to their flagship store bc i didn’t have enough time but i’ve shopped from their online store a couple of times and their clothes!! are!!! so!!! nice!!! kinda similar to stylenanda but a little more girly?? still kinda edgy though which i like

general areas to check out ✨

hongdae // known as the artsy area full of students and street performers. my fave place (and not just bc of a certain flannel clad boy that often performs there 👀). there’s an amazing energy there esp at night time, which is when the area is most alive!! it’s also famous for clubbing but even as a person that’s not rly into the whole clubbing/drinking scene, it’s still rly fun and there’s quite a lot of nice boutiques there so i highly recommend u to check it out!!

myeongdong // if u love skincare shopping like me, u will love myeongdong. there’s also a lot of street food and good restaurants there!! to be specific there’s a rly famous traditional bibimbap + mandu place there but i forgot what they’re called… but if u google it u’ll probably find it!!

bukchon village // full of traditional korean hanoks. v pretty!!

가로수길 // idk how to explain this area but it’s good for shopping + eating and just general exploring!! it’s near gangnam which is also worth checking out

i hope this list helps!! if any of u guys have been to seoul before and have some more recommendations, pls feel free to comment down below~