#also its my dads bday happy bday michael

[croutoncat]

feeling a certain rage at my first employer at this 3 am on saturday morning - was hired with a manager that had no management training but just got promoted bc she had X amount of years at the company, basically left me to do all the tasks she didn't want me to do all while micromanaging me (daily 1:1s??), making false promises about what I could do (said I could do PR but then 'forgot') and keeping me out of important meetings with the CEO without explanation. Also company was litcherally nothing but ultra privileged white people talking about their countryside houses and pretending to be inclusive by hiring 1 non-white (junior) employee and tackling inequality by hiring several women from wealthy backgrounds.... it's a start... but French tech so elitist they will litcherally only hire people from X university. Got 'fired' (quote unquote because you can't technically fire people in France after the trial period but rather ask them to leave) after 1 year, along with basically every junior employee at the company showing how rubbish management is, but wasn't made aware that I could decide when I leave. Plus, the management was 3 white men one of which litcherally asked me 'but... why?' when I told him I was anxious during out team offsite (mental health whomst?) That said. the company has a good reputation, and it was a 'good' experience (+ didn't want to be unemployed out of college). The vibe was Off generally but one of the founders was really nice and gave me a good reference - my manager however lied about being nice and told my current company I was 'too junior', even though my work as a junior employee was actually a reflection of her poor management. Plus they gave me $$$. Bref. Never really took the time to fully process / write about / vent my feeling vis-à-vis my first professional experience which didn't go down too well, leaving me in a Shit situation looking for a (mainly) English speaking job in content in Paree... I can write in French but can't go Off like a tru native. New company is Wild but vibes tho, and really shows to me how important getting on with the people you work with on a day-to-day basis is... plus manager is actually a manager and there is more diversity. I guess it's all a learning curve of Life... everything happens for a reason etc. etc.

[my-silly-rabbit]

1, 10, 11, + 16 for the self insert asks! for bonbon!!!

1. what are the basics of your self insert? name, date of birth, height, etc.? name: Bonbon Benson

age: around mid 25+ to mid 30's. it depends on the timeline. birthday: 1/12. same as mine! i give all my s/i my bday~

height: mmmmmmmm idk. 5'4 . my height ig lol

likes: FREDDY FAZBEAR'S PIZZARIA! and mainly Springbonnie ~!, pizza, dancing, pop music, video games, and robotics. dislikes: spicy food, uncomfy fabrics, silence but also sudden loud noises, kids that aren't Williams.

fun facts: she ALWAYS wears bunny ears that she made herself.

uummmmmmmmm idk lmao 10. how do the other characters feel about your self insert and f/o’s relationship? oooo i have a lot to this one

henry: depending on the universe, sees Bonbon as a casual friend. he's happy that William found love again and finds her a joy, though can get on his nerves. post..... everything, he sees her as an obstacle to drag around his mission to find William. they both have opposing views and Bonbon has stopped hiding her involvement but she says if he rats her out, she won't hold bad. henry values his plans to die more than just feeling the minor satisfaction of seeing her behind bars plus shes part of all this too. she deserves to be set aflame like the rest of this mess. even if when they find springtrap, they tackle and bite each other and break their hips. they are glued together till shit is settled. bonbon WANTS to die with william. That is her main mission if henry plans to kill him. she would LIKE to take him home but..... she's old and tired of being alone. if complying a bit means seeing him again, she'd...try. but it's not easy. (tbh them actually bonding in a fucked up way might actually be cute but the outcome is the same.) michael" oooh boy. he did NOT like her at first. too clean and cutesy. anyone who likes his dad SUCKS (besides uncle henry). but as she starts babystting, he realizes that she has a bit of a 'cool babysitter' edge. not telling his parents about minor shit and talking with him instead of shouting or ignoring. she knows that the aftons arent the best parents and is blunt with michael about it. Michael is confused why someone like her still cares about people who arent good parents and he never truly got an answer for that.

post....everything, Michael starts to see her as a second mother but bonbon admittedly doesn't try to keep in touch. michael looks too much like him...but she still tries to have him over from time to time he helps her to make sure her house isn't a total mess.

by the time Michael goes missing, she's already hunting William down with henry, and both beet with Michael again at the same time. he gets the biggest hug but Michael, who was most likely told by Henry her crimes, pushes her away and yells at her that she never truly cared and was just around for his father. that she never truly wanted him around and just used him for labor. Despite Bonbon crying after being yelled at.....he's not wrong. bonbon sucks guys can u tell lmao.

Elisabeth: oh boy. bonbon tried EVERYTHING to get this girl to like her. everything under the sun. gifts, praise, ignoring her, giving her space, being in her face, bribes, secrets, but NOTHING would keep this lil lady from stopping her "BONBON IS THE WORST BABYSITTER WE EVER HAD!!" tantrums. even when Michael and even try to tell her to quit it and she is not that bad and lets them off the hook for a LOT, she never quits. maybe its "IM DADDY'S PRINCESS" attitude or just having another girl(?) in the house but she just can't stand bonbon. bonbon loves her dearly! She is William's favorite! how can she not!! she tries SO HARD to get her to like her but NOTHING WORKS.

Even: he's glad to finally have a shoulder to cry on. though Bonbon admittedly has little empathy about his fear of the animatronic. she cant see it and tries to get him to like them to no avail. but she gives up after a while and doesn't torment him with them.

Clara / mrs. Afton: in universes where they are a polycule. Clara adores bonbon. bonbon was very nervous about even the idea of suggesting something together but god., they already were something. she gives her face kisses way too casually, and hugs her every time she sees bonbon. clara thinks bonbon is the best person to include in their family and bonbon adores her right back. she always worries that hes not 'good enough' for such a pretty woman but shes perfect in Clara's eyes. tbh they might be more in love then bonbon and Afton are but there love for each other is just as strong for him together.

11. what kind of outfit(s) does your self insert wear? mmmm take this art and some photoes from my pintrest

16. freebie! name a fact about your self insert you want everyone to know.

UUMM OH! The reason she sews buttons on her clothes is to fidget with them. they are her main fidget and she loves the smooth texture and shapes.

[deepdonutkid]

A drug called love

Pair: Esmeralda Gold & Bonnie Gold, Bonnie Gold x Reader

Warning: None

Requested: yes, by anon

Request: blurb for Bonnie Gold with the word Radiant

Note: This is also slightly inspired from star by lovely @bonniesgoldengirl​ ... Have I told you how much I loved this story yet? maybe just like a bazillion times! Also this is your bday and here is a little B (Bonnie) for you! You already got some May from Lily!

“Now I’m finally with you in Birmingham”, she began and flopped herself on the bed: “So… Bon… You got to tell me everything about your life here.”

Esmeralda had this thing to be way too comfortable everywhere. This was his room and he was a little afraid, she would start sniffing around in his stuff, because there were certainly some things, he wouldn’t like his older sister to find. Like the little blue bottle of snow, Michael gave him to try it. But he didn’t. Bonnie was reluctant with this magical powder, everybody was talking about. He didn’t need it and he was very happy without it.

However he was hung up on another drug called love. After months of staring at her from the distance, he finally got the courage to speak up to the singer from the Garrison. They have been in a relationship for quite a while now. It was the kind of big news, he should tell his sister.

“I’m living my dream now”, he explained: “It’s fantastic. I haven’t lost a single fight since I got here. Dad and I still have to take care of some things for the Shelby clan, but otherwise my life is pretty good.”

His sister started to braid her long black hair and watched him while he was fumbling for some things in his pockets. “I can see that”, she added with a smile: “You seem different. I have never seen you this happy before. It’s like you radiate pure joy.”

“Really?”, he asked and his hand scratched his neck. There was nervousness in his voice. Boxing wasn’t the only thing that made him this happy. The singer from the pub gave him unholy amounts of pleasure, whenever he was with her or even when he thought about her. Her kisses and her touch made him feel like nobody else did. They could talk about everything and anything and he felt safe with her.

While Esmeralda tied a band around the tip of her braid, she nodded. “Yes, like you are a completely different person! What happened?  I mean you had boxing fights before and I still can’t understand, what’s so good about the city anyway… Here is no fresh air. I feel like I can’t breathe.”

Bonnie wasn’t so gleeful, when he arrived at first in the city. He was still shy and didn’t made friends fast. It took a while until he got warm with the other Blinders his age. Now he was glad to call Finn, Isaiah and even Michael his friends.

“The city does have its advantages… like the pictures or pubs or meeting new people”, he replied and walked around in his room.

He had just finished his sentences and his sister jumped up on her feet again. Like everybody in the Gold family she had an undying source of energy. “New people?!”, Esmeralda exclaimed: “Tell me who! Now!”

Bonnie started to list his small list of friends: “Well, there are my friends… Finn, he is a Shelby, then Isaiah, he is close with them as well and-“

“These are all guys!”, with raising eyebrows she interrupted his brother: “I’m sure they are nice, but they are certainly not the reason, why you spark joy.”

The boxer let out a sign. Esmeralda had sniffed it. There was no point in lying to his nosy sister. She had won. He would give her any information she wanted, but she just had to shut up.

“Fine…”, he mumbled: “There is a girl… She is a singer at the pub… and I like her very much.”

Her lips formed an evil smile as she tasted sweet victory. “Did you make your move yet?”

“ESMERALDA!”

“What? I’m just asking!”

[tirednotflirting]

and we'd both stay out until the morning light

realizing i never posted this to tumblr. oops. ~vaguely~ inspired by 1973 by james blunt, an absolutely bitchin song i must say. and this piece was for miss helen aka @calumcest‘s bday approx one week and change ago. i went off a lil about my love and appreciation for her and our friendship in the ao3 a/n but the gist of it all is that helen is so so full of love and light and beautiful beautiful words and i’m so stupid thankful that this mess of a world brought us together. helen, if u see this, i love you to absolute pieces and i hope u are well x

you can find this here on ao3 if you wanna read there

Michael doesn’t consider himself to be great at much. He’s young, and making mistakes and having to try again is still his standard. He kind of likes that, though. He likes that his practicality in most things is seen as maturity and not a necessary default setting. He likes how his mom is proud when he learns how to cook a new vegetable or how to get a stain out of something. But he’s also comforted by the idea that it’s not irresponsible (or too much so, at least) when he throws caution to the wind and goes on some wild adventure with his friends or on his own. That it’s okay if he doesn’t know the word for something or has to google how to fill out a form because he’s still learning. Michael likes observing, learning about how he should be moving about the world.

That evening, something in the air feels electric. What exactly it is, Michael isn’t really sure, but it has him buzzing with anticipation for something. There’s a humming in the air around his apartment weaving around him like a ribbon but it’s moving too fast for him to latch onto. But for some reason, he doesn’t find it unsettling. He’s finishing up the dishes from dinner when the soft music playing from the speaker in his kitchen is interrupted with his ringtone.

He wipes his wet hands off before reaching into his back pocket. The screen shows a familiar picture, one always guaranteed to bring a smile to his face. He swipes his thumb across the glass and hits the speaker button. “Hi, Calum.”

“Come out with me tonight.”

His smile widens as he sets the phone on the island behind him so he can return to his drying rack. “Are we celebrating something?”

“Just being young and alive and in this gorgeous place and in love.” He can hear a dreamy tone to Calum’s words, evidence that he’s already begun a solo pregame.

“All about the dramatics tonight, are we?”

Calum huffs in a mock frustration. “We can’t let this place eat us alive, Mikey. Come out and dance with me.”

Michael sighs with a smile still pulling at his lips. He can practically hear the twinkle in Calum’s eyes that he tends to get when batting his eyes at Michael as he begs him to live a little. He thinks of the lunch he’s meant to attend with his advisor the following afternoon, of the novel and glass of wine sitting on his coffee table that he had set out for his quiet Saturday night in. But then he hears a quiet please, babe? across the line and rolls his eyes affectionately while placing the measuring cups back into their drawer. 

Maybe he’s meant to go on an adventure tonight. To observe, to see something new.

“I’ll be at yours in half an hour.”

*

Michael has never really liked clubs. He’s always found the environment to be one that bounces his brain between a place of numbness and overstimulation like his mind is a ping-pong ball. The duality of cocktails filled to the brim with liquor but also sugar only heightens the feeling. He prefers bright lights and sounds in a more controlled environment, like his computer screen or a movie theatre.

But Michael really likes Calum. And Calum likes clubs. So it’s fairly often that he finds himself with some brightly-colored drink in one hand and Calum grasping his other as he gets dragged through one of the night clubs near Calum’s new place.

The electric feeling in the air shifts with Michael’s change in setting. As Calum pulls him across the dance floor toward the bar for another drink, he senses it again, but in a different tone than he had felt in his apartment. Now it’s the beams of light passing between each of the bright, flashing bulbs high above their heads. It’s the energy swerving between the chattering, glittery people at the bar and the bass pumping below his feet. It’s Calum’s breathy laugh in his ear and the touch of his lips against Michael’s neck as he asks him if he wants something new to hold in his free hand.

Calum jumps up onto a stool at the bar as they wait for their next round and he pulls Michael to stand between his legs, his arms thrown lazily around his neck as he babbles through some story about some band that came into the studio that day. Michael loves watching Calum tell a story, his expressions adding their own layer of humor to the tale as Michael catches the rolling or widening of his eyes between flashes of colored light. Soon enough a couple more glasses are placed in front of them and Calum is reaching into his pocket for a few bills to pass back to the bartender before sliding down to the floor and pulling Michael back into the crowd.

Neither of them can dance to save their lives but that never stops Calum. He bounces around as Michael laughs and copies the movement. The liquid in their cups threatens to slosh to the floor or onto their shirts with each incredibly ungraceful swing of their hips.

“How is it,” Calum says between pants into Michael’s ear while wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him close, “that we’re out nearly every weekend and we still look like dads trying to dance every time we get out here?”

Michael shakes his head, the liquor in his cup starting to take its effects as he giggles against Calum’s cheek. “We’re musicians. One day when we make it big we’ll be too busy playing our instruments on stage to dance around. It would be a waste of time to learn to move any different than this.”

Calum’s smile shines bright through a laugh as he spins them around following Michael’s comment. “God, what are we going to do when our friends start getting married? We’ll be a disaster.” He pauses to take a sip of the concoction he’s ordered most recently. “Luke and Ashton are probably gonna threaten to kick us out if we move from our seats at their reception some day.”

“That’s how we’ll convince Ashton’s cheap ass to get the open bar. We’re far more agreeable when drunk.”

“Cheers to that.” Calum mockingly raises his cup and knocks it against Michael’s. 

The song changes then, the volume of the crowd rising with the song as the familiarity hits everyone’s ears and minds. Calum’s face bursts into a grin and his arms tighten around Michael’s neck to pull him closer to his chest. “Mm, love this song.” Calum pauses to sing along to the chorus. “Think I love you also.”

Michael blinks his eyes open, not having realized that they were closed. He watches light bounce around them and a drunken blush paint across Calum’s cheeks and nose. He’s had too much to drink to think too hard about it but really he’s never not questioning how he got so lucky. He lets his lips press against Calum’s nose, the rosiness in his own cheeks surely spreading when he catches Calum’s giggle through the music. “Love you too, Cal.”

They dance and sing for what feels like both hours and seconds. The mix of light and sound and those damn cocktails Calum keeps buying make Michael feel light like the confetti that starts flying around the room at some point in the night. He lost track of the number of nights they’ve had like this a long time ago, the center of glittering, happy chaos being a place Calum loves to frequent. He’d follow Calum anywhere, including to a mindless and seemingly pointless celebration like tonight. Michael knows he’ll go anywhere so long as he gets to keep watching the way Calum’s eyes and smile sparkle when even the faintest light hits his face. 

He’s watching it then, practically being blinded by it all, he thinks, when Calum catches Michael’s hand and pulls him back in for another dance.

*

They end up at the beach.

Their phones died ages ago but as the sun just barely begins to peek out from the ocean horizon, Michael figures it’s around 6am. They’re both still giggling and blushing at each other like mad as they strip off their socks and shoes and stumble toward the ocean. Michael isn’t even sure what he’s drunk off of anymore but whether it's Calum or the cocktails, he doesn’t really seem to care. 

Calum gasps at the temperature of the water as they let the little waves crash against their ankles, and he shuffles closer to Michael. He leans into Michael’s shoulder, lips pressing gently against his neck as Michael wraps an arm around his waist. 

The morning sunlight is just barely beginning to ripple over the dark water as they stand in silence, their breaths just barely audible over the waves. Normally seeing the ocean without the sun high up in the sky scares the hell out of Michael; hell, the ocean in general usually frightens him. It’s so unknown, and Michael doesn’t like being so close to something so vast and mysterious. It’s why he can’t think about space too hard most of the time either. He feels safe, though, and secure, standing there with Calum. He’s always wondering if it’s too early to think that way about the boy standing pressed against his side.

Eventually Calum lifts his head and grabs Michael’s hand, weaving their fingers together as he walks them back from the water just a bit before planting himself in the sand. “We’re watching the sunrise from here,” Calum explains to Michael’s confused eyes. Michael nods his understanding and drops down beside him.

“This city scares the hell out of me sometimes,” Calum says with a sigh, his fingers still dancing with Michael’s. “Like it always feels like I’m doing too much and not enough all at the same time. And then I get so stuck on figuring that out that I do nothing. There’s so many creatives here that the air feels like it’s filled with thoughts and ideas and dreams all the time. It’s so damn loud, you know?”

Michael nods, though the way Calum speaks he can’t really tell if he’s actually speaking to him or not. He considers asking but then Calum starts up speaking again, his crinkling eyes still facing out toward the water. 

“But then I come here and it’s like the tide kind of pulls all of that away. This is the only place where LA gets quiet, I think. It’s why I like to come out here.” 

Michael sticks his legs out in front of him and digs his bare feet into the sand as he ponders how to respond to Calum. “I get what you mean,” he starts as he drops his free hand against the cool sand and draws swirls with his finger. “I think this is the first time I haven’t been surrounded by people in a while.”

Calum’s head drops to Michael’s shoulder again and turns away from the water as he nestles his face into his neck. “Mali suggested coming out here after I’d had a bad day at the studio and you and the guys were all busy or something. Said it was her favorite place to gather up her own thoughts when she was trying out living here.”

As he drops Calum’s hand to let his hand reach up to tangle with the dark curls at the back of his neck, Michael lets the importance of this place, of Calum bringing him here settle over them. There are very few things that Calum keeps to himself, this spot apparently having been one until that morning. “Thank you for sharing this place with me. It’s a beautiful spot.”

He feels Calum shake his head just a little, his arm moving to wrap around Michael’s waist as his fingers play with the hem of his shirt. “Of course. I wanna share everything with you.”

The electric buzz Michael has felt around him the whole night settles with him and Calum out on the beach. Now it skips across the gentle waves that grow bluer with each passing minute as the sun rises. It blinks with the light from the street lamps back at the road as they go back and forth on whether or not it is time for them to say their daily goodbye as dawn turns to morning. Its final act, Michael senses, is the shock he gets as Calum straightens up and gently lifts his hand to the back of Michael's neck, causing him to turn as brown eyes meet green for just the briefest moment before their eyes flutter shut while their lips meet. 

*

“And that’s when I knew that he was my soulmate, ya know?” Michael says, his smile widening as he watches Calum’s eyes sparkle, tears threatening to fall from his dark lashes. “Because we should have been falling over ourselves with exhaustion at that point but I had never felt so awake in my life. I never wanted to sleep again because I never wanted to stop looking at him.”

A single tear does fall, racing down Calum’s cheek, and Michael lifts his hand from Calum’s grasp to gently wipe it away. “Anyway,” he laughs with a sniffle, his eyes pulling from Calum’s to face the room filled with their family and friends. “Thank you all for putting up with my nostalgia and thank you for coming to help us celebrate today. Enjoy the reception.”

The music picks up once people finish their brief clapping and Michael sits down again while he watches people around the room begin to rise and walk in the direction of the cakes and the bar. His eyes follow Luke and Ashton as they wander in the direction of Calum’s parents and sister, presumably to say hello again. Ashton’s eyes briefly meet his own and Michael laughs quietly as he watches Ashton’s left eye drop into a wink. They share the look for only a moment because then Luke is dragging him along and a hand dropping to Michael’s thigh pulls him back.

“I really liked that night,” Calum mumbles against Michael’s neck, his lips pressing just below his ear. “Liked hearing you tell the story of it even more.” 

Michael can’t help his laughter as a smile pulls at his cheeks. “Listen, there are very few stories of nights out that I can tell in front of our parents. Had to go digging through my journals to really settle on one.”

“You were journaling about me already back in the day? That’s so sweet.”

“Back in the day?” Michael questions as he sits up to meet his husband’s (the thought of the word alone bringing butterflies swarming into his stomach) eyes. “That was like four years ago, Cal. We’re too young for anything to be ‘back in the day’ yet.”

Calum’s face softens at his words, his hand lifting from Michael’s lap to cup his cheek, his thumb running across his cheekbone. “I can’t wait to grow old with you.”

He lets out a sigh while Michael blushes at him in response to the declaration. Calum leans forward to brush their lips together before rising, his empty glass in hand in need of a refill. Michael watches him wander through the crowd, shaking hands and exchanging smiles and kind words with every guest he passes while approaching the bar. None of it feels real yet, Michael thinks. Though it’s been less than two hours since they said I do so he figures he’s allowed a little longer to just be in awe of the fact that he’s got someone to spend the rest of forever traipsing through life with and that that someone is Calum.

And Michael still doesn’t consider himself to be great at much. He’s still young and can’t hold his liquor and can only really cook maybe three vegetables. But Michael is great at loving Calum and being loved by Calum. And maybe, for now, that’s enough. Michael finds himself thinking on that as he takes another sip from his own glass and gazes out to where Calum stands speaking to a friend and their partner. His cheeks warm as the three of them turn to look at him, a fond look resting against Calum’s face as their eyes meet. The ring on his left hand glitters in the light as he lifts it to gesture for Michael to join him.

Yeah, this is definitely enough.

*

[laylabahiti]

HSHQTASK005: A REFLECTION 

i originally posted this task in march 2017, so almost 3 years ago (wow). i already regret looking at this old one lmao

001. name / age / pronouns

2017: xee / twenty / she, her 2020: xee / twenty-three / she, her — fun fact, mine and evy’s bdays are 2 days apart #taurussquad

002. which character(s) do you play?

2017: my complicated af beaN layla. idek what’s going on with her at this point. 2020: i’m screaming i can’t believe i thought 2017 layla was complicated. i had no idea what was to come. i picked up biel not long after that. also had katalina aka brucey’s wifey n i miss her. juliana is a fairly recent addition and, i’m about to spill the beans, a glücksburg is coming.

003. nationality / ethnicity / timezone

2017: american / lots of white european and the other half o’ me is ashkenazi jewish / right now i’m back and forth between pst and mst. homeland is mst though. 2020: obvs nothing has changed except no more back and forth with timezones. strictly mst now.

004. tell us a bit about your  home state.

2017: it’s the first day of spring and we almost reached 100 degrees F :’) we don’t really have autumn or spring here tho. it’s either hot as balls summer or frozen. no in between. like, as soon as temps get below 70 F people break out their jackets. 2020: welcome to the desert, “it’s a dry heat”

005.  favourite color / fruit / season

2017: green / honeydew melon / spring 2020: still green and all its shades / tbh idk how i chose a fave fruit bc i raaarely eat it but bananas and watermelon too / “spring”

006. favourite books + writer whose writing style you admire the most

2017: this isn’t a fair question smh. i have too many titles and names going through my head at once to answer this. 2020: still no fave so i’m just gonna answer this with what i’m currently reading. it’s called suffer strong and it popped up on my insta feed last week (big brother is listening and they know i’m a stressed mf) cheese moment: i admire all ur writing styles :~)

007. what kinda music do you listen to + any fave bands / musicians

2017: listen to a lil bit of everything. these ‘favorite’ questions are difficult for me to answer 2020: same answer tho i grew up listening to the eagles so they hold a special place in my heart n soul. i get to go see them in a couple months (hopefully w my dad) and i’m v excited

008. what are you doing for a living / what are you studying?

2017: lmAO well rn i work in the kitchen of a gas station (sah classy). 2020: went from working in the store to working in corporate *finger guns* apparently i never said what i was studying but i was still in school then. justice studies with a minor in military leadership and certifications in human rights and socio-legal studies. then i studied astrophysics with minors in cyber intel + security and math for a semester, but i didn’t want any more debt ajskdf

009. what’s your dream occupation?

2017: IDK but it has to involve happiness and a nice salary. i have to feed my zoo somehow. 2020: what r dreams lmao

010. relationship status

2017: single then. single now. single forever. 2020: every time i think about putting myself out there, something happens. i don’t have time to date atm

011. coffee, tea or hot chocolate?

2017: it depends on the weather. if it’s cold i’ll have hot chocolate. i usually drink tea at meals whenever though. 2020: i blame my work for all the coffee i drink now, but still all of the above. 

012. dream holiday destination?

2017: santorini 2020: honestmeme....where the hell did i pull santorini from. idk i was supposed to go to iceland for study abroad last year but yknow i withdrew from the university. i still wanna go tho

013. the thing you’re most proud about yourself

2017: not afraid to stand up for myself + others 2020: young me made it sound noble but honestly i’ll put ppl in their place, i don’t have patience anymore jakdas. but tbh right now i guess it’s my perseverance? life has been shitty for a few months but u gotta keep on truckin’

014. tell us a bit about your family!

2017: goD they’re nuts. i’m the middle child out of all my siblings but the youngest on my dad’s side. large age gaps are common, like half my sisters are old enough to be my mom. lots of grand babies and great grand babies. when we’re all together (like this past weekend) it’s ….wild. communication is v poor too. i only have one brother out of my eight siblings, and all those siblings are only half-related to me. at 5′5 i’m one of the tallest in the fam which says a lot. 2020: they’re still nuts n i don’t speak to my mother anymore. i should probs add that my parents have been divorced since i was a few months old so she hasn’t been in the pic for a while. even when she had custody of me jaksldf find me ron howard i’ll give him the rights to my life story

015. how long have you known your closest friend?

2017: three years. 2020: we’re going on 6 years jaksdf i’ll be maid of honor in her wedding this year. i also have another friend that i failed to mention last time but we’ve been close for 9 years (jfc)

016. superpower you’d like to have?

2017: invisibility 2020: mind reading so i know who’s Fake jaklsdjf

017. celebrity you’d like to meet?

2017: john stamos ?? idk i never really thought about it. i’ve met michael phelps though!! 2020: ig i’ll stick with stamos?? ooh or steve carrell or jennifer aniston. 

018. guilty pleasures

2017: chocolate and french fries. i love love love french fries. 2020: now my guilty pleasure is dr. pepper bc i cut it out of my diet.

019. pet peeves

2017: mouth noises (misophonia). people talking over each other and not listeninG. lowkey people leaving the toilet seat up or leaving toilet paper in the toilet like…just flush again. 2020: i really went off on tp huh?? another pet peeve is people committing to something then backing out/flaking without a heads up

020. do you have any hobbies?

2017: sports !!! i’m a grade a heaux for sports. tennis, archery, golf. anything that doesn’t require lots of muscle ya feel. one of my ~hobbies~ i guess is organizing things. i have multiple planners and use them all daily. 2020: i miss how sporty n active i was jkasdf this is my hobby.

021. where would you like to live in the future?

2017: i would looooooove to live in san diego but i’ll probs be stuck in the desert drylands. 2020: tbh i was looking into memphis homes bc it’s cheap compared to here but i don’t really care where i end up. just want a place of my own yknow

022. tell us a story about a thing that recently happened to you! it can be a funny, scary, sad story, your pick!

2017: redacted bc it was college angst lmao and not pretty 2020: i found out this morning that my cell phone # is somehow linked to some random guy a few miles away and idk how to fix it online. got some texts today and yesterday this one guy called me 6 times back to back while i was on the phone with someone else. i guess that’s another pet peeve of mine, pls leave a message if it’s important jaklsdf

[the-elegant-espeon]

I was tagged by @vanilla107

1. What takes up too much of your time?

social media (mostly here/twitter with discord and amino sprinkled in) reading and pokemon as well

2. What makes your day better?

talking to my friends, both on and offline ones!

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

today was pretty lazy but I caught a Detective Hat Pikachu in PoGo! (it appears when you take pictures of your caught Pokémon instead of Smeargle to promote the movie)

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

any show that I love tbh, so Duckburg/other places in the Duckverse Hogwarts/ harry potter’s world

also the pokemon world OBVIOUSLY 

5. Are you good at giving advice?

I try my best!

6. Do you have any mental illness?

I have ADHD

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

no that sounds terrifying 

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Lindana, Love Handel, and the Hex Girls

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

no! I think I crush on ppl easily, but I need to get to know them better before I “fall in love” that also would entail knowing some of them irl

10. What’s your dream date?

see a movie, go for a walk, and then hang out and talk

11. What do others notice about you?

My smile!

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

I pick at my lips and my fingernails a lot. mostly because I get fidgety and need to do something

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

never really had one so no? technically?

14. How many exes do you have?

zero

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

oof about 249 in my regular playlist, because some of the versions were taken off amazon music and I haven't replaced them yet

on my disney/kids music playlist I have 291 but only because I just dumped the Detective Pikachu soundtrack in there so I didn't forget. once I listen through it ill remove some that I don't like as much/instrumentals

16. What instruments can you play?

I can kinda play piano. took lessons for a few years and can still remember the basics

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

pets and screenshots of stuff

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Japan and England are the two that come to mind right now

19. What is your zodiac?

Cancer

20. Do you relate to it?

Yep!

21. What is happiness to you?

curled up on the couch reading a good book

22. Are you going through anything right now?

im in a group project with two ppl that are kinda difficult to work with. they just need a lot of direction, and I can't always be that person to direct them.

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

leaving this one blank for now

24. What’s your favourite store?

the book loft is such a great place! its a local bookstore that just has rooms and rooms and rooms of books. like you think you've finally gone through all of the rooms and then more just appear. its one of those places that looks tiny on the outside but in reality is huge

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

Her body her choice.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

nope

27. Do you have a favourite album?

been listening to Jack Johnson’s Curious George album lately. a few of the songs were already in my playlist but hearing all of them really brought back memories. honorable mentions to Daft Punk’s album Discovery, used in the movie Interstella5555 (such a great movie btw) and Michael Buble’s Caught in the Act (live) album, another one that brings back lots of memories.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

not much, probably some books and Pokemon stuff

29. What is most people’s first impression of you?

anywhere from lots of energy to a little shy

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

people have thought I was like 20 (this was a few years ago and granted I was dressed up)

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

next to me on my bed so I can hear my alarm

32. What word do you say the most?

Fork! (or around people my age Fuck!)

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

19/20

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

because im about to turn 18, the youngest i’d date is 17 1/2

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

gonna think about this one too

36. What’s your favourite music genre?

a few pop songs here and there, and a bunch of other random stuff. also musicals

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

id love to live somewhere with ancient buildings tbh

38. What is your current favorite song?

All Will be Well by the Gabe Dixon band. its an older song but it’s in one of my favorite episodes of Parks and Rec, End of the World. my favorite song released in the last few years is Simple as This by Jake Bugg

39. How long have you had this blog for?

two years!

40. What are you excited for?

hanging out with some of my best friends next week!

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

I can talk a lot about some things, but I love to listen too

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

I started making a map round to look like the earth, tomorrow im going to make it spin in Premiere

43. What do you want for christmas?

I celebrate Hanukkah, but I’ll probably want something for my Switch

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

right now im only in one class, but I have a good grade in it! I generally enjoy Language Arts/English classes and Arts classes!

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

7, im a little tired from doing nothing all day lol

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

have a job that I love and a wife/gf as nerdy as I am!

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

when my ex-best friend’s family started getting all weird when my parents split up. to make matters worse I occasionally run into her at the theater sometimes. then there was that one time, years later, when we went to the same pool, hing out there for a while, and then she was like, “sorry im have my bday party here and im only allowed to invite 6 ppl and you're not one of them”

(shoutout to her dad for being pretty cool tho)

48. What age do you want to get married?

mid-late 20′s but if it happens later that’s ok. this is just the earliest I'd like to be

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

an astronaut 

50. What do you crave right now?

im always craving ChipotIe tbh

tagging @pit0hui @metachiral and @thefangirlmonarchy 

(don't feel like you have to do this)

[iheartsurveys]

151

01. Who was the leading role in the last movie that you watched? I think the last movie I watched was the breakfast club, there's not really a single lead like all 5 of them are the leads 02. Do you think that you can talk to someone but not really be talking to them? I guess? 03. Honestly, when was the last time you found yourself jealous of someone or something that happened for them, what of? So I unexpectedly saw bren Saturday at beer/wine festival...well I knew he was coming but not until like an hour or two before. And he brought this girl he's dating or I guess is his girlfriend? Or something idk. He and I have a complicated past like we were super close and then dated briefly years ago and then it didn't end well, and we saw each other for the first time in like 2 years a few months ago, and it seemed so normal and like we were friends again. And at that time I heard he was seeing someone ish but I was like eh whatever. But Saturday was different than the last time, it was definitely sort of awk. And I don't think she knows about our past. And I'm not really jealous of her per se like I'm not happy he and I didn't last but also I'm okay with it and I think I can personally do better, and my friends say so too. But like just the fact that he's seeing someone and I'm single has me kind of upset and a smidge jealous and yeah. Shit is complicated. 04. Assuming that you know your best friend’s family, is there any one who you don’t really like? When we were 19 I went to the beach with her family for a few days before we had a concert, and she has this like older weird cousin who was into me and idk I didn't interact with him enough/at all to dislike him but it was definitely weird he was asking about me after seeing me for like 2 seconds. And given that we probably had a 15-20 year age difference 05. What is your favorite brand of beer to drink? I hate beer, I prefer cider. Angry orchard or redds apple ale are good 06. Can you recall something that you and your best friend really laughed at? The last thing I remember laughing about in person was at ourselves trying to do some dance our friend always does 07. Of all the people you have talked to through texting, who has been the one to start the conversations? From today alone, probably Helen 08. What are your opinions on Nicki Minaj? She's alright 09. How much does your conscience have an affect on you, if any? Oh it totally does, quite often 10. Is there anything you have to wake up for tomorrow morning at a specific time? No 11. Do any of your friends act like your house is theirs when they are over? My friends don't visit often since I'm out of the way of things 11. Whose birthday will you be celebrating next? My moms bday is Wednesday 12. The last time your cell went off what was it for and who was it from? It was an insta notification saying someone started a live video 13. Recently, what artists/bands have you been listening to a lot? Everyone I'm going to see at firefly...glass animals, weezer, kaleo, etc. And then of course Harry's album. And I really like lorde's new song 14. Who all have you had serious conversations with today? Ummm I guess my dad mainly. Maybe my mom ish idk, nothing too serious had happened 15. What was the last compliment a member of the opposite sex said to you? On Saturday Michael told me I'm better looking than bren's new girl and that I'm way too good for him anyway lolllll he's such a great friend 16. What are some turn-offs that you have? Being overly cocky, immature, rude... dressing sloppily is one 17. The next time you go to the theatre what movie do you plan on seeing? Not sure 18. What’s the relation between you and the person whose Facebook page you were last on? No real relation, we went to the same college and have mutual friends and he's in a band that was at the festival I was just at 19. Assuming you own a band tee, which one do you wear the most? The only band tees I own these days are 1D and the Jonas brothers lolllllll and I have a shirt from firefly last year but it's not a specific band. I Probably wear my 1D shirt from the up all night tour the most 20. Have you ever had a pet that really had its own personality, like and it was personable? All of my pets currently have their own personalities 21. Who was the last person to make you smile? The internet? lol I'm not sure specifically 22. The last time you heard someone else laughing, did they explain to you what was so funny? No 23. How do you feel about your life at this point with everything going on and what’s coming up? It seems like things are falling into place for the most part and that's exciting 24. What was the last thing that frustrated you? I was watching the bachelorette with my mom upstairs and my stepbrother stopped by to visit and he and my stepdad came upstairs and were talking loudly while I was watching tv so I couldn't hear what was happening 25. The next time you are gonna be using your money to pay for something, is it just gonna be for you, someone else or just other people as well? I need to go to cvs tomorrow for myself. And maybe buy groceries. Also for myself. 26. Have you ever set up to do something with someone but ended up not because you didn’t feel like it? Probably 27. Your last shower: at what time of day did you take it? It was like 8pm