#also like. hrm i try not to self diagnose bc i personally have a bad history with it but i am extremely pro educated self dx and i dont | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thewickerking · 2 years

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sorry for leaving super long rants about my undiagnosed mental illness that ive been silent about my entire life cause i thought if i ignored it i would grow out of it in the tags of my posts. im trying to cut back on long winding posts abt my problems but erm. i still dont have a therapist yet the intake person said itd probably be two weeks before i get matched with a therapist and its only been a week... anyways off to the tags before this ends up too long o7

#one more week before i can just expect like. contact for scheduling not even just an appointment OUGH #also like. hrm i try not to self diagnose bc i personally have a bad history with it but i am extremely pro educated self dx and i dont #diagnosis is the best endgoal for spme people bc of medical abuse and such but for me i have such a fleeting understanding of myself and i #literallt dont trust any of my memories i dont remember things i remember thinking abt them but not them actuallt happening. does that make #sense....#i look through old sketchbooks and theyre familiar bc ive looked through them a lot but i dont remember actually drawing anything #and this applies to like. soo many things i say i remember something but i just remember thinking about it in hindsight #also i forget so many supposedly very memorable things that everyone around me remembers but i dont! lol! even if its smn i did #well anyways thats a separate issue than the other ones i was talking abt but i dont tell almost anyone certain things bc im afraid theyre #going to say im faking and be right bc i incorrectly self dxed when i was younger and i dont believe im telling the truth even to myself bc #i dont know what it is but i feel like. Something in me knows and its certainly not me and im just grasping at straws #trying to figure out who i am and what parts of me are voluntary and which arent. WHATEVER......#i shouls go to bed....#.ares

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