#also lmao his cutoff message

[wolfofcelestia]

Because who am I kidding anymore at this point

🥺

👉👈

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #272

“i don’t care what you have to say - it makes no difference / it’s all because of you, we’re fuckin’ infamous.”

How many children are in your family? I have a big extended family, so uh... and what is the age cutoff for "children?" My simplest answer is three, that being my older sister's kids, but I do have a half-sister with some young-ish children, but I know none of them. Oh, and my other half-sister has kids too, but again, they're not that young, and the youngest son I've never met. What is something you and your parents used to argue over often? Money. What was your first word? "Dada." A fast food restaurant that you hate with a passion? Arby's is fucking disgusting. Give me a song that is underestimated/not well known. Probably like half of Otep's songs. "Lords of War" comes to mind first. Which one of your friends knows everything about you? Sara knows the most. Who is your favorite teacher that you have this year? N/A Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? No, I don't have that kind of patience. Like I've fiddled with 'em before if they're right at my disposal and I'm just sitting and waiting or something, but I've never gotten far. Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? It depends on what I'm talking about, but probably Sara. Or Mom, idk. Do you have a favorite metal band or do you not like metal? Ozzy, of course. Metal is my favorite genre. Are you talking to anyone right now? No. What’s your favorite kind of science? Genetics. Do you walk home or take a bus? From school? Well I'm not in school anymore, but for almost the entire time I was, my mom drove me and picked me up. I only took a bus for some of Jason's junior and all of his senior year to his house afterwards. Who did you last go to the movies with? My dad, I think. If you could see anyone (dead or alive) in concert, who would you pick? I'd probably choose Metallica so long as my mom could come. She laughed/cried hysterically when she found out they were finally coming here I think two years ago, but we couldn't go. She fucking adores Metallica, maybe more than I do Ozzy. She's always said that she only needs three things in life: God, her babies, and Metallica. Who’s the cutest person you know? Define "cute." The cutest fucking thing I have EVER seen was Sara when we went to a reptile expo together; she was a kid in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. I could not stop smiling at her, jc. "Cute" as in who I feel most fits the traditional definition, my old friend Alon. I think I'll always answer "Alon" to questions like this lmao. How about the funniest? GIRT. Oh my FUCKING god, Girt. I've had my biggest and most frequent laughs with that guy. Have you ever had acne? I sure did going through puberty. It wasn't the worst in the world, but I definitely had it. Where is your biggest scar located? I think the scar from my surgery, but I can't see it so I can't *really* tell? Look up what a pilonidal cyst is to figure out where that's at, oof. Where did your last hug take place? A hotel room. Recently, Mom, my sisters, and I saw my grandmother for probably the last time. She was with her husband and Mom's brother passing through. She's quit chemo for pancreatic cancer as now it's just become unbearable, and it's obvious she doesn't have much time left. It was... weird, seeing her in such a skin-and-bone, very frail state. We've had a rocky relationship, but I'm going to miss her regardless. What is your current desktop picture? My favorite picture of Teddy. Do you still think of that Gwen Stefani song when you spell "bananas?" HA HA yes! Do you like the way your hair naturally is, or do you change it? I love how healthy my hair is, but I'm definitely not a fan of how quickly it becomes oily. And I wish it knew how to hold some damn dye. Do you know anyone who died accidentally by doing something stupid? Not personally, but yes. How many different languages have you taken in school? First I took Latin, but I SUCKED at it, and then I took German for four semesters and loved it. If your cell phone broke, would your parents make you pay for a new one? No, considering I don't have a source of income. Are your parents still married? No. Are you in a monogamous relationship? Not currently, but I'd only go into one that's monogamous. Have you ever met your favorite band? No. Have you ever drawn on someone's face while they were sleeping? No, I'm not an asshole. Have you ever fallen down a hill? No, but I've certainly rolled down them as a kid. Would you scuba dive in shark-infested waters if you had the chance? I hate the term "shark-infested." It's where they live. But anyway, I don't think I'd swim with sharks, but maybe. What is your favorite slow song? BRO idk there's so many. Do you believe in karma? No. If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? It would depend on their demeanor. If your best friend died, would you be able to speak at their funeral? I'd sure as hell want to, but I'd have a hard time getting through it. Are your pets asleep? Roman is probably snoozing by the window in the living room, and Venus probably is, given she's nocturnal. Have you ever wished you were an only child? No. Have you ever hurt someone on purpose? As a kid I got in huge trouble for smacking my sister before. As an adult I haven't. What is your current favorite song? I'm pretty obsessed with NateWantsToBattle's cover of "Feel Good Inc." Is there something you do on a regular basis, that you don’t enjoy doing? Why? The person I copied this from answered "shower" and big same. Like of course I do it, but boy do I hate it. It's a chore to me and especially when I'm depressed, I'll put it off. Have you ever felt jealous of anyone else’s success? Yes. When it comes to success, I can be very envious. Never in a hateful way/wishing the person wasn't where they were at, but nevertheless, still envious. Who did you last speak to in person? Mom. Have you ever had a one-night stand? If you have, did you regret it afterwards? Never had one, don't plan to. Have you ever done something that you said you’d NEVER do? Yes. What was the last thing you asked for help with? Who did you go to for help? Uhhh... probably something from Mom, though I don't remember what. I've avoided that since she's recovering from surgery. Who was the last person to text you? Sara! If your significant other had several other sexual partners before you, how much would that bother you? Would you worry about being compared to the others? How many previous sexual partners do you think is acceptable? If they were serious relationships genuinely based on love, it wouldn't - to a degree. I have to be honest with myself and say like if my s/o had a large number of past sexual partners at our age, I'd be wary about their loyalty and dedication to one person. Idk what I'd consider "too many" exactly. For me, maybe like... six? Who was the last person of the opposite sex to send you a message on Facebook? What if you had a baby with that person? My friend Ian, and whoa buddy, we're just above acquaintances. How many people of your preferred sex have hurt you? Just one seriously. Have your friends ever talked to you about the forms of contraception they use? What form of contraception do you prefer? It's been casually mentioned, sure. I'm not sexually active so don't take any right now, but if I was, I'd be on birth control and demand condom usage because FUCK the chances of getting pregnant. If you told your parents that you were going to be a parent, how do you think they would react? I think they'd both be terrified for me. I have NO business raising a kid when I'm barely a proper adult. They'd also be confused as fuck about who the dad would be. You find out that the person you love/like is having a child with someone else. What do you say? If I found out somehow that Jason was going to be a dad, I can 100% GUARANTEE you I would faint, vomit, and have an emotional breakdown. Literally all three. I wouldn't be able to "say" anything. If I found out Sara was, I'd be pretty speechless and beyond terrified for her. When was the last time you said something and thought “Why the hell did I say that?” What exactly did you say, and who did you say it to? How did the person react? Hm. It's funny, I'm both very impulsive with what I can say if I'm upset or angry, but otherwise I seriously think twice about what's coming out of my mouth. I can't remember the last time the former happened. NO WAIT. So my chronic nightmares/terrors, right? A few days ago I woke up from one growling, "I'll break your fucking neck too, bitch," and it was to my very own mother, as she was choking me for some reason I don't remember. I was disgusted when I woke up. In these nightmares, I am SO much more aggressive than I actually am and it really scares me. It's gotten to the point that I'm genuinely scared of what I may be capable of. Who was the last person outside of family that told you they loved you? Sara. What song reminds you of your first boyfriend/girlfriend? My first real one, holy fucking shit, a lot. For where we currently stand, "Another Life" by Motionless In White haunts me. Not only is it his favorite band, but the lyrics just scream him and me. It's one of those that sometimes makes me tear up. I hate that I love that song. Outside of family, who were the last three girls you talked to? Sara, Summer, and Chelsea, I think. Outside of family, who were the last three guys you talked to? Uhhh Ian, my grandma's husband (he's not my actual grampa), and my sister's husband, probably, or nephew. Who is/was your strictest teacher in school? Mrs. P-something in 7th grade. I didn't not like her, she was just very strict. Have you ever felt so ill that you literally didn’t know what to do? Oh yeah, emotionally at least. At your part of the world, is it summer now? Yes, ew. What’s the warmest it can get over there? How about the coldest? Around 110*F; coldest, around... sub-20*F on rare days. Is there a bad habit you’re trying to break right now? I need to lay off the soda. Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your home town? FUCK no. Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy? Nope. Have you ever made jewelry? The kiddy kinds with beads and stuff, yeah. Which app do you use the most on your phone? Umm Facebook or Dragons of Atlantis. Did you learn to play an instrument as a kid? If so, which one? In elementary school, we all learned the recorder. From middle school to my junior high school year, I played the flute. What is the best part of your most ordinary day? I don't even know anymore. If you learned that you suddenly needed an aid of some sort to do something that you normally don’t need (glasses, hearing aid, etc.) Would you comply or would you put it off until there was no choice anymore? It would definitely depend on the issue and its severity. What’s the strangest saying you’ve come across? Please tell me it's not just the South that says "it's colder than a witch's titty" lmao. Do you read any web comics? No. Which social media platform do you use the most, if any? Facebook. Which game did you play the most as a kid during recess? Does anyone remember "Four Square?" I don't even remember the rules, but my friends and I played it all the time. Are you one of those lucky people to own a walk-in closet? No, not that I need one honestly. Is there a random object you own that has a huge personal significance? I’ve told the story of my pebble from my partial hospitalization program many times. Besides that, something really random? Uhhh. There’s probably something, seeing as a lot of the things I keep mean something deep to me, but I don’t know about another truly strange one. Are you one of those people who chew two pieces of gum, not one? Usually. Do you have a wall calendar? In the kitchen. Have you ever been to Canada? No, but totally serious, I want to move there. I just realistically won’t because I don’t want to leave my family. Do you believe in superstitions? Nope. When was the last time you took a taxi somewhere? I’ve never been in a taxi. Would you ever join the army, airforce or navy? Hell no. How old is the person you last kissed? 22. What was the most embarrassing thing you've had to buy? Nothing. Have you ever mistaken a person's gender? Yes. What was the most expensive thing you've broken? I don’t know. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes, but thankfully it wasn’t severe. Can you focus well in high-stress situations? FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK NO. Without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes? Yes. I think I’ve shared before that in 9th grade, my teacher like deadass stopped her lecture just to point that out lmaoo. Is there anyone you dread going into public with? Not generally. It can sometimes happen with Dad just because he’s brutally honest and doesn’t have a filter, but it’s more like a discomfort than dread. Are you easily frightened? It depends on the situation. In most instances, yes. Do you have a favorite model? No. What's your current facebook display picture of? It’s just a headshot of me with my skull necklace and a tank top. Is there anyone whose hair you envy? Peoples’ whose actually hold color. >_> Have you ever dated someone who was extremely shy? No, I’m the shy one. Or have you dated someone who took things too fast? Yes. Do you or anyone you know have an account on Deviantart? I have one, and I know a few other people who do. Do you listen to Daughtry? Not really, except “No Surprise.” Do you get your eyebrows waxed? Not anymore. Is there a pet that you desperately want? A tarantula, preferably a Brazilian Black. I’ve gotten soooo into tarantulas, but it’s a “hell no” from Mom about having one in her house. Would you ever get your bellybutton pierced? No. My stomach isn’t “pretty” and I know it sure wouldn’t look flattering. Are you one of those people who are always pushing their limits? I wish I could say yes. Have you ever made a totally amazing snow fort? No. I didn’t have the patience for that as a kid. All we really made out of snow were snowmen and balls to throw. If you draw, what's one thing you always have trouble with? Proportions. Is there someone you know moving away any time soon? I don’t believe so. Is there a garbage can in the room you’re currently in? No. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Who was the last person you apologized to? Mom, probably. Do you throw things when you’re frustrated? No. People who throw shit scare me. Do you prefer sharks or dolphins? Dolphins. Before meerkats, they were my favorite animal. What was the last piece of furniture you purchased? Purchased, I don’t know. A lot of what we have now is second-hand. Has anyone ever told you that you are too picky when it comes to the people you date? What about not picky enough? No one has said either. When was the last time you went to a bar? Never. What three things would you change about your life? Number one, be mentally stable. Two, my body. Three, be financially stable. Was there anything unusual or unique about your birth? There was an ice storm that Dad had to drive through lmao. What was the best conversation you’ve had recently? Man, idk. I don’t talk a lot to begin with. What is the next book you are going to read? Wings of Fire: The Dark Secret should come in the mail today!! :’) Describe the hardest decision you have ever made. I had to choose to either let Jason go or keep him in my heart until it killed me/I killed myself. I can almost 100% absolutely promise you if my life was continued how it was in 2016, I would NOOOOOOOT still be here. I think it’s pretty clear by now some scars are buried too deep to heal, seeing as he is literally faintly on my mind every day, but at least I know how to be happy without someone who didn’t believe in my strength. Why did you last see the doctor? I thought I broke my foot. Turns out I just tore a ligament, but badly. I think it’s been… one and half-two months and it’s only JUST starting to feel truly better. Day one, I couldn’t even walk. Days after, I had to have help. Then for weeks it was nothing but walking at a snail’s pace on the side of my foot. I’m so surprised it wasn’t broken. Post a recent picture of yourself. WOW what timing considering I took a picture yesterday, and I barely ever take any. I EVEN PUT MAKEUP ON!!!

[lia-nikiforov]

Winter 2018 Anime Final Review

Why yes, pretty much all the Spring premieres are done (don’t even remind me haha I’m so far behind) and this is horribly late, I had a busy couple of weeks ;---; and am still struggling to catch up, but here’s my final rundown of this long slow winter! Worst to best, as always.

Dropped

Basilisk Ouka Ninpou Chou: Although I’d said I’d keep watching for the Nobunaga twist, given the onslaught of new stuff for Spring, it’s unsustainable to keep watching something so mediocre I don’t even find anything to say about it. Also Nobunaga hasn’t been mentioned in three episodes.

DUMPSTER FIRE

Darling in the Franxx: So we’re halfway through the show and still feels nothing of importance has happened, except we learned “lesbians are not viable, what a relief” and also KOKORO REALLY WANTS TO MAKE BABIES. The whole Kokoro business is very unsavory because on the one hand the writing is a dick to Walking Fat Joke Futoshi, but on the other hand Futoshi is an entitled Nice Guy who acts like Kokoro has some obligation to return his feelings, so basically everyone sucks lmao. Btw, does anyone know what happened with episode 13? I went to watch it but what I got instead was a Deadman Wonderland episode, complete with the story of Palurdo meeting Lab Experiment-turned-Beast Waifu as children and making a promise that would subsequently be forgotten until they meet again in their teenage years. Jesus, does Womenz are Beastz: The Anime have a single original idea?

How am I supposed to measure my own disinterest and contempt

This basically means I didn’t care for these shows. I don’t hate them but I was aggressively unengaged in them and I can’t really rank them from worst to best because that would imply me having any measurable emotional reaction to them

Violet Evergarden: I don’t think I have much to add about this one that I haven’t said before. Tryhard Sad Anime Girl stories rehashing old clichés with little novelty to them,  with a bonus of a super poorly explained and thought out child super soldier tragic backstory that still has me ?????? The final episode has the addendum of trying to redeem That One Asshole in a “he treats her bad because he’s sad about his brother dying sob sob sob he’s totally not a jerk” and i was very annoyed by that.

Koi wa Ameagari no You ni: It’s complicated to talk about this show. I really liked the first episode, hated the 4-6, then was mostly bored by the rest of it. The whole romance angle was completely dropped in the latter half, but I’m not even sure if that’s a good thing given how tastelessly it was being handled in some moments, or a bad one given how bland everything else was. It felt like Akira’s crush on Kondo turned out to be insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It also felt like Akira was profoundly underdeveloped, and it bothered me because Kondo was developed properly. His character felt more fully realized than hers. Like idk, I just cared so little for the last few episodes and it didn’t feel like Akira’s emotional progression was very connected with the first half of the show. 

Fate/Extra Last Encore: I don’t even have a screenshot. Apparently the reason the show started so late into the season is that it took a long time to produce, and apparently there are two more episodes that will be released at some point in July. But really, what matters is that I have no idea of what this show was trying to accomplish. The characters were a bunch of pieces of cardboard spouting pseudo nihilistic philosophical nonsense and I don’t even know how to describe the plot. It was generic in its Boss of the Week approach but the execution was often very flat. Definitely none of the fun from Apocrypha’s cool characters was to be had in this iteration of the franchise.

Too much iyashikei

This season we had too much iyashikei and I’m burned out. Here are the ones I didn’t hate but also wasn’t super in love with.

Miira no Kaikata: I think this show would’ve worked better as 3-minute vignettes. 20 minutes of it was a bit too much and I struggled to pay attention. I also felt the dragon and MukuMuku had very tangential roles. I don’t have a whole lot to say. It’s cute, if cute is your jam this show is for you. Connie is best smol monster.

Hakumei to Mikochi: Another cute show that gains extra points for its somewhat unique setting, beautiful color palette and picture book aesthetic and because the two main girls are great characters. I particularly liked the first and last episodes. It’s a relaxing, fun little show

Sanrio Danshi: The harbinger of feminism made into a toy commercial, while not quite iyashikei, is still a slice of life that just occassionally indulged in too much melodrama. It was nonetheless a fun little thing that managed to turn cynical consumerism into a positive message for boys: it’s okay to like non-traditionally-masculine things. One of the details I liked most was that none of the boys had to give up on their previous groups of friends even after “coming out”, Kouta’s friends and Shuu’s team were supportive of them and even participated in their dumbass musical play. Some may even read this show as a not-so-subtle allegory on homosexuality and while I don’t think this was Sanrio’s intent (their intent is to broaden their market, plain and simple) the fact that it works so well with that reading is honestly great. I had very minimal expectations for this show and I’m happy it turned out better than those.

Classicaloid 2: Classicaloid isn’t quite iyashikei either but it fits in the “didn’t love it, didn’t hate it” category. I’m a huge fan of season one, but unfortunately a big part of S2 failed to capture the magic. I think most of it was restored in the second cour, specially with brilliant episodes such as the one where Dovo-chan becomes a super-realistic painting of himself, and the last three episodes really captured what made Classicaloid great. I’ve really come to love this cast, so I wouldn’t complain if we got more seasons (please do Vivaldi!!!)

Shonen is a Good Genre, Actually

Shonen as a genre/demographic is much reviled for its repetitive clichés and childish stories, but I think we live at a time in which we can have well-executed shonen anime that, although falling for the same old clichés, have enough heart and sincerity that makes them enjoyable. This part also isn’t necessarily ranked, since my favorite one will change depending on which day you ask me

Nanatsu no Taizai: Imashime no Fukkatsu: As I have mentioned before, this second season seems to be the polar opposite of the first one’s rapid pace. It’s been a while since I read the manga, but I feel like it took a lot less to get to the mid-season cutoff point there than this anime would lead you to believe, especially the training part felt excruciatingly long. NanaTai has other various flaws including its 1000% not funny harrassment jokes and the dumb introduction of quantified “power levels” (why Suzuki), but characters like Diane, King and Ban give the show a unique flavor. And I’m not even gonna pretend to be unbiased, I just love everything involving Ban, even the weird and questionable choice of bringing Elaine back. I’m excited that we’re finally approaching Escanor’s arrival.

Yowapeda Glory Road: I also forgot to grab a screenshot lmao. Yowapeda is a very particular beast, and with its episode count already in the hundreds, it’s not something I’d reccommend unless you’re super into dragged out ridiculous sports anime. This second season of Onoda’s second year has not been without its flaws either, starting with the, imho absurd persistence in making Sohoku look like underdogs even though they’re reigning champions. It’s made a lot of the first two days of the Interhigh feel a lot grimmer than this cheerful show ought to. Kaburagi is still an insufferable character, and the fact that he drags the team down doesn’t help him either, and I just wish the writers would let Best Boy Teshima win anything. I hope the second day ends on a lighter note, because the gloom and doom is making this a less enjoyable watch than it should be

Mahoutsukai no Yome: I feel a little better about this one knowing the final was anime-original, but at the same time I’m beyond livid with how it was wrapped up. I loved the second half of the series because of how well-written and emotional Chise’s growth was, and everything up to her embracing of Cartaphilus’s curse was a beautiful display of her strength and will to live. What I’m not here for is that asspull wedding whatever that makes no sense in the context of the previous events, especially because after the fact, Elias’s attempt to kill Stella is swept under the rug. This could’ve been my favorite show of the season without that bullshit ending and while I don’t regret watching it, it leaves me with a sad feeling of what could have been

Best of the season

Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens: It had a slow start, but with its endearing cast and well-developed character relationships, HTR won me over, especially the last quarter. The animation was veeery barebones, but Lin and Bamba’s charisma and their organically developed relationship carried the show to be one of the most enjoyable of the season. I also really appreciate the fact that the series includes a gay couple with an adopted daughter and that Lin’s crossdressing is never used as a joke or treated as a character flaw or a “phase”. I love stories about found families and I’d love to see more of this gang fighting crime and doing shady business in their city of assassins.

Garo: Vanishing Line: This iteration of Garo had a somewhat slow start, but boy did it pick up steam in the second half. The action was great -the final fight against King had some incredible stylistic choices, the characters’ journeys felt complete and very human and the story was interesting and different enough from other Garo to not feel repetitive, yet with enough Garoisms that made it feel connected to everything else. Like I said, I love stories about found families, so the way Sophie found a home with Gina, Luke and Sword by the end was very touching. Watching Sophie’s journey has been a treat, and I’m immensely happy that this wasn’t a Guren no Tsuki disaster, but was more in line with the excellence of Honoo no Kokuin.

Gakuen Babysitters: This was the huge surprise of the season for me, I almost expected it to be pretty dull. Instead it turned out to be super cute and extremely heartwarming. It had a couple of duds here and there, mostly the not-actually-a-pedophile joke character and the early love triangle skits, but the former disappeared and the latter was vastly improved in the second half of the show. I wish Ryuichi’s grief had been dealt with a bit more, but I think what they did show was very well executed and empathetic. And the portrayal of the kids felt very realistic, including both children’s most adorable and most obnoxious behaviors. KIRIN IS BEST GIRL

Card Captor Sakura Clear Card arc: I have expressed some complaints and dissatisfactions with this sequel all through the season. Mostly in regards to the new cards and how the old ones seem to have been forgotten (also the lazy designs of the new cards). In spite of that, Sakura hasn’t lost any of its heart in these 20 years, the characters are still the kids we grew up with. It is an overwhelmingly cheerful and positive show, from Sakura and Syaoran’s shyly developing relationship, to the hopefulness of Sakura’s magic and just the simple day to day life of Sakura and her friends. In spite of all its flaws, Sakura is still my favorite show of the season and I’m happy we get to spend one more season with these characters. Just please give me more Yue??? 

Ooooof, finally I’m done with this! PLEASE LET’S NOT TALK ABOUT THE 20+ SHOWS I’M SAMPLING FOR SPRING AHAHAHAHA. There’s too much anime. Anime must be stopped, immediately. Don’t hesitate to send me your thoughts about the winter season, even if it seems I’m losing my mind a little Dx TOO MUCH ANIME

[staboteur]

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

the salty af munday meme

//oh god I have so sOOOO many 

//my biggest one is when people just... message me single words or like a sound effect or just something pointless like “boop” or “hello!” or “hi!!!” or something... Since when I respond with hi, usually it’s met with silence? I don’t really know what you want from me if you don’t, y’know, tell me? If you want to ask me a question or tell me something (like “Hey! I got some free time, want to try out this new plot idea I just thought of?”), then just tell it to me. I don’t mind if you just launch right into the question. Iunno, I know a lot of people start conversations by saying ‘hi’, but that’s not going to fly with me... Also, if someone likes my plotting call or asks me ‘wanna rp?’, I expect people to come to me with an idea already in mind, no matter how silly or “bad” or vague or whatever. Just give me something to go off of!! I can’t cater to you, this is a give and take procedure. I also don’t always have plots right off the bat. It’s like... They’re the one coming to me. Why do I have to be responsible for getting this plot going? It’s like how if you need to get from point A to point B, so you went to a taxi driver, and told them “yeah just take me where I want to go” and just get in and sit there without saying anything else, no address, not even directions, not even a description, nothing. What the fuck do you expect that taxi driver to do? They can get you from point a to point b, but they have no idea where point b is???? Iunno this ended up as two big pet peeves of mine lmao

also i find that if i think of the plot mostly by myself, the thread tends to get dropped faster (usually within one reply, and sometimes before the starter even gets replied to ahem, I mean I’m patient and understanding with replies and all that, but sometimes i feel a little... ripped off? if I was pretty excited for a plot, and they made me write the starter eventhough90%ofthetimei’mbusybutimakethetimetowritethestarteranyway, I mean at least... tell me what your reply speed is going to me. I’m not talking about like 1-2 days, or even up to 3 weeks, but once it reaches around 3 weeks, my personal cutoff for replies, I kinda... question whether they even want to rp with me... or if there was something wrong with the starter... or why they liked my plotting call in the first place. Anyways).

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

just say yes to everything, what could go wrong? 8:12am 7/18/19

I had a pretty fucking incredible weekend. (I’ve got some thoughts bouncing in my head and I need a break from work real quick since I’m procrastinating I might as well write)

I entered my second big Magic the Gathering tournament on Saturday. I took this decklist from a pro that I really respect. BW Vampire tribal. I was excited for it too, it half reminds me of my BW Clerics onslaught block days, and half just feels appropriate because I’m a vampire myself now lmao. The tournament went weird though. I started off with a win, lost second round but didn’t really get disheartened. Then tore off two sweet comeback wins and was sitting pretty at 4-1. The format for these big tournaments is Swiss, so with 400 entrants we needed to play 8 rounds and go X-2 or better. But the thing is is this tournament sign in started at 8, I played my first round AT the office after I clocked out, and each round was starting another hour later. So by the time I take a quick loss to RDW in round 6 (to put me at 4-2) I’m fucking DRAGGING. Like falling over can’t even talk to my stream dragging. I had this “great” idea to just take a nap for the 45 minutes until the next round was supposed to start. Didn’t wake up for an hour, missed cutoff for round 7 by what must’ve been 5 or 10 minutes and was told I couldn’t argue the disqualification. So I got knocked out by sleep. Guess I’m not so great a vampire after all lmfao. Or maybe it was the sun, I think it must’ve been like 2pm by that point. Ugh. I was bummed as fuck though, almost just tried to sleep the day away. I AALMOST FUCKING made it, man. just two more wins would’ve put me into some good money I think. Definitely bragging rights of top 8 would’ve been radical. And I felt like I cheated myself out of the chance. It was all my fault lmfao. 

But yknow after like a half hour of trying to sleep the sadness away I was like “fuckit I can’t be sad about this forever, I better get out of the house.” The original plan for the weekend was to play magic the whole time, it was Competitive Metagame Challenge weekend, which is the best time to unlock all the cards for me as a F2P player. But I didn’t care anymore lol I just couldn’t stare at the cards. So I hit up my buddy Brandon to see what he was up to, and he said he was going to a birthday party and invited me to come along. I said well hell yeah, if it’s cool. Asked him whose party it was and he said John somethingorother and I was like okay at least I’ll know who to ask for in case people are ready to kick out some fucking rando lmfao.

But I went to this party tentative as fuck about what would happen and the funniest thing happened - not only did I end up knowing a handful of people there, like my favorite bartender at my karaoke night, I also knew the birthday boy! Turns out he was my buddy John (and his gf Sue) that I’d drink with at Ruby whenever I’d go out with Alex! It was amazing. Like I actually know some people in Raleigh and I’m not a fucking stranger wandering around. It felt really nice. Totally got me out of my shell, I started talking to some architect girls (got one of their number, but she’s the one with the boyfriend lmfao rip), jammed out to Pantera and shit with a bunch of people. Got some new music on the playlist, pounded some vodka from a watermelon, started talking about cat tail butt plugs, had a grand ol time hahaha. 

But it turns out this party is actually a double party - there’s also a bunch of people in the apartment complex celebrating this going away party for this couple moving to california. Once all the birthday crowd heads out and Brandon had left to go to a concert, one of the girls I’m semi-flirting with says that her and a bunch of the going away party people are gonna bar hop for a while and asked me to come along. So of course you know me, I say hell yeah and start bouncing around bars just drinking and meeting everyone I can and enjoying the fuck out of myself. We hit up like 4 different places, I think this place Dram and this loud dancy place, and then I got distracted sneaking into the VIP area and most of them dipped out to this other dancier place Alchemy. I found one of the remaining dudes who also got left behind and he pointed me in the right direction and I ran down the street dodging people and apologizing saying I had to meet up with some girls lmfao. Danced my ass off in this club, got my yeezys all dirtied (don’t worry they’re fine now) but I wasn’t worried about it I was drunker than I’ve been in weeks. On the way in one of my buddies from playing smash said hey. He was on some molly and was fucking PUMPED to see me out and about lmao. But I was a man on a mission and I actually managed to dance myself all the way through every corner of this club find the girl. Just when I was about to give up I found her and we got to chat for a bit, but I went to grab a drink and only kept seeing her briefly throughout the night. Puked in front of the bar during a smoke break and decided it might be time to leave, but I sent a goodbye message to my smash buddy. 

Actually decided that instead I’d call him and he picked up and asked where I was so I decided to say hey for real, and then he started introducing me to all of his work friends, and all of a sudden they’re inviting me to one of their apartment complexes to go swimming and play some video games now that the bar was closing. So I was like FUCK YEAH and we hoof it a couple miles or whatever (it felt like forever) to his complex, and I get to drunkenly swim around for a while and play a game or two of Special before walking home with my buddy. 4:50 am I’ve made it home to cookout and got to stuff my face with a burger and pass out for 12 hours.

So fucking nice. It feels like every decision I’m making is fluidly perfect. It’s been so long since I’ve had a nice meandering adventure of a night like that. Didn’t get any tail, but the friendship’s the more important thing anyway ;)

Then the next day after DND I’m sitting there at 10PM when I get a call from my buddy Carly to drive out 40 minutes to her place in durham and drink with her roommates and one of my old smash friends, and I said fuck yeah I’ll do that too. Really frustrates me that none of my roommates/close buddies here in Raleigh don’t ever want to go on whimsical adventures with me, but I guess it’s just natural that nobody can keep up with me wanting to do random bullshit. 

So now I’m trying to plan my shit out for next week. My buddy Chris is having a karaoke going away party at my old haunt. But if I were to go who could/should I even hit up to stay with? I wanna say Ash but if Aaron is going then she might not even be. What if she’s living somewhere else with her new guy? I guess I should try to catch up. But is it worth going out to greensboro now that I’ve got a scene of people I’m really trying to get close to in Raleigh? What if I miss out on an after party this week where I can finally become friends with some of these bar friends? Kind of frustrating that my karaoke night is still Tuesday. 

And I guess one of the biggest conflicting factors is also whether I should try to say hi to Andi while I’m going to greensboro, or if that should even be a factor? I haven’t heard from her since I broke things off with her and blew up on the phone, so I’m sure she’s better off not hearing from me. Seems rude though. Not that I’m really interested in patching things up and becoming buddy buddy again, I’ve felt really great not being in love with someone who wasn’t interested in me. And being happy go lucky me has been wonderful, a fresh breath of air, a world of infinite possibilities. Idk... I just care still I guess. It’d be nice to see her. It’d be pretty nifty to see her as a friend and as a hookup and not as a love interest. Maybe that’s selfish or pigheaded but w.e. My life is good right now though, and I’m finally feeling good about myself, so maybe it’s best to let things lie. I really just hope she’s doing well too. 

When you can say yes to two things what do you say yes to? Maybe the going away party should be the priority. After all I’m doing emo karaoke here in raleigh on sunday. Even though that’s a totally different crowd of people. Or maybe I should stick to my routine so I don’t fuck up work?

I don’t knowwwww someone make these decisions for me. Someone tell me they want to see me other than Chris sending out a general birthday invitation. 

Hrmph. I guess I’ll just have to let ya know how it all plays out. 

[remembermemorablememories]

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

post #380

main points:

- call with walter in the morning

- toaster strudels for breakfast

- activated chase debit card

- seattle trip planning

- looking into point and shoot vlogging cameras potentially

- lunch fried rice with mom and dad

- learning chinese watching my best ex-boyfriend episode 2

- trying to get elite smash for more characters

- dinner with the fam

- mario kart / smash with sheena

- hang out with sheena

- moar smash online

today i:

- woke up at 8:30am to my alarm. i snoozed several times until 9am and then messaged walter. we had planned to have a call to catch up (cause of the different time zones in malaysia). he had just finished packing and was about to go to sleep. he’s about to go on exchange in turkey :o we caught up a bit for like maybe 20-30 minutes and then he went to sleep. i didn’t wanna keep him up too late cause he has a 6am flight. it was nice talking to him, i haven’t talked to him in like a year now i think. i wish we were able to talk a bit more but he seemed in a rush :p just kind of talking about my upcoming trip to asia, his trip to japan, and some of his plans for europe. he told me some people bike for fun in japan to learn english which is wild

- i got up and made some toaster strudels. ate them at the kitchen table pretty quickly and then came back upstairs

- today i was planning to be productive so i activated my chase debit card. pretty straightforward just calling a number

- i did some planning, coming up with 11-12 locations + some details for seattle since jwoos had done some chicago planning. i was looking up all the main spots and seeing the hours and prices, like the sky needle and the glass thing next to it. starbucks roastery, all the big touristy things

- i looked into potentially finding a new cheap point and shoot that i can bring with me to asia. unfortunately they’re like way too expensive. the canon g7x looks pretty great but it’s like $600... and the next best is canon s120 but idk if i’d need it at that point. i also watched casey’s old video on the canon s120 from 2014 which was a throwback (while looking up sample clips from the camera)

- dad came home around 11:30am and said he was gonna make fried rice if i wanted to eat some. i was like aw hell yeah. mom dad and i ate lunch at 12pm. mom had a bunch of meetings in the morning wfh :p dad talked to me a bit about the GMAT score i got and potential options. he also talked about china’s growth as a country and their advances in technology learning from the west. then i chilled with him while he washed the dishes and talked a bit more about the future of these things. hopefully the counter people will install the sink by tomorrow so we don’t have to keep washing dishes out on the side

- dad went back to work and i went upstairs and watched episode 2 of my best ex-boyfriend. this time while i watched, i copy pasted all the vocabulary i didn’t recognize and their definitions so that i can review them. i’m wondering now if i should’ve put some ping ying... oh well. i should def watch this more consistently. i think i watched the first episode like last week... lmao. the plot was more soap opera-y things

- around 2:30pm i started playing smash. i decided to try getting good with the whole cast of smash, or trying to learn them all more in depth. so i my goal is to get them all into elite smash. i started with link. i played in training mode, then against a CPU and then online. i got in pretty fast surprisingly. mostly cause i was playing against someone kind of bad and he helped get me far enough into elite smash LOL. then i went back to DK, which i had originally gotten into elite smash but hadn’t played in a long time so DK got kicked out. i played him a bit and got him back into elite smash. then i spent time with samus in training mode, then CPU, then online. i got samus into elite smash after some trial and error. i was used to link and DK from smash 4  but not samus, so it was more of a change in gameplay. then i got samus in so i have the first four of the first row, mario, DK link and samus. i was like... oh huh next one is dark samus, i should be able to get her into elite smash too

- i played a bit online moving GSP up to like 3.1mil ish. the cutoff is now 3.3mil ish. sheena came back from rehearsal and we started a grand prix of mario kart. but then ben called her so she left to go to her room so i continued playing online for like 30 minutes. still no luck getting dark samus into elite smash :s 

- had dinner with the fam around 7pm. dad made some steamed ground beef and tofu skin and pork things. sheena seemed a bit sad and ate pretty quickly and went upstairs. i ate and hung out with mom and dad downstairs. then chilled with dad while he washed the dishes. mom also talked about one of her trips to michigan cause cici sent us a snap earlier today of ice on the wing of the airplane she was in. mom had the same experience going to michigan for work once :p 

- went back upstairs to check in on sheena. she seemed to be doing okay so we agreed we’d play mario kart after i finished taking a shower. i went and took a long shower from 8-8:30pm

- then sheena and i played some grand prix. she was doing okay ish, still getting like 10th place overall :p so we switched to smash and she talked a bit about how she was feeling. about the pointlessness of school and how most people in her generation are feeling that way :/ i tried to cheer her up a bit by talking about the bright sides of things. we stopped playing smash and went to sheena’s room. i was kind of being goofy like taking up an abnormal amount of space on her pillow to try to cheer her up and stuff. she was feeling okay i think, like laughing and stuff but also still feeling sad. dad also came to check in a bit and said sheena should try to get some sleep. eventually around 10pm (sheena kept telling me to leave her alone), i left her room to go to mine

- i was gonna write this blog post and then go to sleep, but smash was still on from when sheena and i were playing just like an hour ago. so i was like.. okay i’ll get dark samus into elite smash then i’m going to sleep

I CAN’T GET DARK SAMUS INTO ELITE SMASH ARGH. i played another two hours until 12am. i’m hovering at like 3.33 mil GSP and i still can’t get into elite smash for some reason. to be fair it was also my fault for playing the same mario online for like 10 games. i beat him like 6 times in a row, lost 2, and then kept beating him for another 4 or so games in a row. then i was like... okay i’m done. and i was at 3.33 ish mil but i still didn’t get elite >:’( maybe tomorrow

- went to brush my teeth and now i’m typing up this blog post. i’m on top of things today booyah. it’s 12:42am

good night

also update on hemorrhoids, i haven’t applied the cream today because of the diarrhea from yesterday. no diarrhea anymore. but still hemorrhoids are there. maybe smaller though...? not sure. we’ll have to see tomorrow

the end