#also no offense but everyone’s meta is depressing even when it’s good and I’m not in a place for that rn

[mutalune]

I simply have too many strong opinions about good omens that do not align with a lot of the meta going around and I do not care to write it all up b/c I simply do not care if anyone agrees with me as I am certain that I am the Correct and am not wrong (nor have I ever been wrong) about my analyses of s2 and feelings about the show as a whole

so as a heads up moving forward I will only be posting and reblogging silly good omens content now as well as fic recs and my own fic as I write them until this hyperfixation burns out~

And this, babes, is self-care 👏🏻

[protagonistheavy]

Got a new computer so I can play DBD again after a two week break. So, I'm new to both Pinhead and the new mmr system.

Wow. Both these things just suck shit. : \

The survivor experience is just terrible. I played upwards of ten games and each one just felt way worse than usual. The only good game I had ended with the killer disconnecting, so that's a great sign. Every other game was deeply unfun for at least one reason or another. The worst was a Doctor that had to tunnel, camp, and noed his way to a 3k + disconnect... Jesus Christ. I spent like eight minutes NOT playing a video game because I spent the entire time getting camped, then slugged (because he wanted to wait out the DS I didn't even have lololololol love these mechanics), then rehooked, shaking off tier 3 madness, and then getting mori'd. What a god awful experience. And no other game was significantly better -- except for one Pig game, but that doesn't count because, yep, they were just throwing and looking for boops.

It's bad out there man and it's personally depressing because I was sooo looking forward to coming back to DBD. : ( I guess I can still give killer a try, but I can't BELIEVE how much joy got sucked out of the survivor experience for me -- incredible, considering how unfun survivor could already be. But now I just really do feel like I'm making the game worse for myself if I'm not running the meta perks, there's NO space for even a little error.

At first I heard complaints about the new mmr system, and I heard counter-arguments to them saying "you don't have to care about winning so much, just enjoy the game." yeah well. except. you can't really enjoy a game when shit like this is happening lol. Like how am I supposed to enjoy the game... if part of my enjoyment is being able to at least SOMETIMES escape a killer? What if I LIKE to run some non-meta perks? Like I'm not saying "wahhh I wanna win every game" but I AM saying that I'd like to not feel PUNISHED for not playing hyper optimal. Seriously, this matchmaking just feels terrible! I'm literal bottom rank and I'm going against some of the best killers I've EVER gotten... At what point should my mmr be low enough that I'm getting killers I can fairly go against???? It feels like I'm constantly the dead weight being added into the lobby to counterbalance better survivors, it's so frustrating.

And god. Pinhead. This, is just bad. I seriously just groan when I hear that fucking box noise at the start of a game. This is, by far, the LEAST fun killer to go against I think. I guess maybe Hag could be worse, but jesus christ, 90% of this guy's power is just automatic. The fucking box is WAY too strong. Can anyone explain to me what the optimal approach to this shit is??? You see the box, you know SOMEONE has to go get it, but without comms, you don't know who is and who isn't going for it, which makes the whole team super inefficient. You'd think to go get the box immediately, but isn't it smarter to wait it out until the timer is almost up? If you want to stay efficient doing other things for as long as possible, it's better to IGNORE this thing until it starts becoming a problem basically. If no one gets the box in time, then everyone just starts getting slowed down and pulled off gens constantly without any way to stop it! How fun!!!!!!!! Sucks for you if you're in the middle of getting chased, because now on top of his fucking guided missile chains that he controls, there's just MORE chains coming after you nonstop. Oh you grabbed the box, like you're supposed to? Cool! Let's drop your item tee-hee-hee : ) and make you solve this puzzle box for like 10 fucking seconds w/ skill checks! Oh and all the while, a chain hunt is on you uwu!! So you keep getting ripped away from the very thing youre trying to solve! Oh and you never get a chance to ACTUALLY solve the box, lol no you fucking moron, because Pinhead can just IMMOBOILIZE YOU MID-SOLVING AND TELEPORT TO YOU FOR FREE. Are you a shitty killer player that can't find survivors? Then come play Pinhead, who just reveals survivors for free and gets to warp right to some of them! Nope, not because of any ACTIVE ABILITY he actually CONTROLS or EXPRESSES SKILL FROM, no you fucking troglodyte, it's entirely because his passive box shit just forces you to play a whole different game that's EXTREMELY frustrating to trudge through. Oh and guess what happens when Pinhead knocks down the survivor that had the box? Oh well instead of doing a weapon wipe animation, he picks up the box and solves it : ) which triggers a chain hunt to immediately begin! Wow! I'm having so much fun that for the sake of my health I need to go make myself more depressed to balance it out.

This is so absurd and not even getting into his add-ons that just make him even LESS fun; the chains that can injure you, and the one that makes the box almost impossible to see until the chain hunt starts? I'm sorry but what the FUCK? I'm genuinely getting the point where I sincerely wish we could just hard block certain killers lol I can very well see myself just DCing as soon as I hear it's Pinhead. This isn't fun, sorry Behaviour, but you wildly fucked up with this one. I think the most offensive part is the fact you have to drop your fucking item to solve this shitty box. That's just so cruel. Why does it have to be like this? Just let us keep our item bro! It's so unfair that in order to face a killer's base mechanic -- which they don't even manually control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -- and have to, HAVE TO, MANDATORY, you have to drop your item, KNOWING you're never going to see it again since Pinhead is going to teleport and chase you away! Jesus Christ, can we at least balance this out? Can we make it so you can't solve Jigsaw Boxes if youre holding an item? Can we make it so Legion's Frenzy attacks make you drop your item? I fucking HATED this mechanic with Nemesis, and that's LEAGUES more tame than Pinhead's stupid shit. At least when I set my item down, I'm not expecting Nemesis to outright TELEPORT to me because I used the fucking item he makes me have to use.

And hey something else that just pisses me off as a Pig main. Why doesn't Pig get ANY vision or advantage against someone who removes their bear trap? Hmm? Nemesis gets a killer instinct when someone uses a vaccine, Pinhead gets to see their location AND ALSO choose to teleport DIRECTLY TO THEM, so why can't Pig get SOMETHING?????? Oh would she become OVERPOWERED if she got a killer instinct on someone who removed a hat? Mind blowing how fucked up their killer design has gotten. Imagine what Pig would look like if she was released in 2021 -- absolutely she'd have some way more bullshit mechanics going on. She'd get aura vision on anyone solving a box; anyone she knocks down for the first time automatically gets a hat placed on them rather than her going through a weapon wipe animation; that timer would just start instantly, no fucking waiting for a gen to pop; no slow down at all while stealthing, in fact she just stealths passively after a few seconds of not attacking; if you fail a Jigsaw skill check you get injured. I'm not even exaggerating much when I say this is what Pig would be like if made today.

Yeah I think this mmr shit needs a rework, and Pinhead, wow, I dont even know what to say. Maybe Pinhead would be better if he got toned WAAAAAY the fuck down. Chain Hunts are way too fucking oppressive, the chains that appear need to be like 50% less frequent. And instead of making the box an item, it should just be an interactable object that you go up to, progress a bar, and solve. Remove the fucking chain hunt on the box holder, take away Pinhead's teleport, just let Pinhead get killer instinct on whoever solved it.

I really hope he gets reworked to something more fun. This really just sucks to go against and doesnt feel like any other killer. Please, man.

[mecchantheotaku]

Warning: Trash Opinions About Comedy Beyond!

So I love some good ol’ jokes and memes, but we all have certain stuff that we  generally do not like. So I thought I’d share mine because why not.

Types of jokes/memes I do NOT like

Just to clarify, if you like these sorts of jokes, you do you, but I’d appreciate it if you just kept them away from me for the reasons I’ve stated below.

1) “Edgy” jokes/memes. I do like dark and, in some cases, offensive comedy (such as the sort of jokes you’d see in South Park). What I don’t like, however, is when it’s clearly dark and offensive for the sake of shock value (such as the sort of jokes you’d see in Family Guy). Edgy for the sake of edgy is not funny, will never be funny and I can’t understand why some people find that shit funny, especially considering some of them are legitimately nice people. That being said, I know a lot of people agree with me on this.

2) Jokes made clearly to piss people off. I’ve seen it from both sides of the political spectrum and they’re both pains in the ass to me. Not only is it just straight up humourless, it also does more harm than good. It doesn’t matter who that sort of thing is directed at, everyone is still gonna see it. And some people have brains wired to feel like it’s directed at them, even when they know it’s not. So yeah, not a fan.

3) “Cry for help” jokes. Now, I understand that some people use dark humour to cope with mental issues they have. I get it. I’ve made suicide jokes to cope with having been suicidal in the past. And I do like myself some dark jokes. However, some of the jokes I’ve seen look less like jokes and more like cries for help, which honestly is really uncomfortable to look at. Jokes are supposed to make people laugh. All you guys are doing with “ha ha i’m depressed” or “ha ha the world is fucked” is just making people uncomfortable. At least give them a punchline or something, or maybe make them ridiculously over-the-top. Give yourself and others something to laugh at instead of just wallowing in your issues. Trust me, I’ve done that before and that was not a good time.

4) Overused meta jokes/memes. While it is okay to make meta jokes and memes once in a while, it kind of loses its edge when you scroll through tumblr, twitter or reddit and see a huge wave of nothing but those memes. Not to mention when they just outright are people calling other people out on using overused memes, which then ironically become overused memes. Memes don’t need to die. In order to live, they need variety. The reason why I call out meta memes in particular is because of hypocrisy. You fuckers don’t seem to get the idea of memes needing variety, so you just make a shitload of meta memes about certain memes needing to die. You are part of the problem. Stop doing that.

[monkey-network]

The Fiasco Finale of Future [1/2]

So in the penultimate episode of Steven Universe 2, the climax of both the season and series as a whole... is a group hug. As I expected, plenty were not too pleased with this turnout. Some felt it was anti-climatic, some felt it was resonating, and others tried to own the critics by digging deep into the scene like they always do sucking this show’s co- Coming from nearly a month later, I’m... split. One hand, I didn’t mind the climax. On the other hand, it was pathetic compared to plenty of other finales I’ve seen in media. It’s like this show as a whole, I enjoy it, but I also enjoy smacking it upside the head cuz it made some Karen-esque, All Lives Matter type stupid shit that I just cannot get behind. So you know what, Perry the Platypus, let’s mix it up. I wanna express the good and bad of this climactic end to the show and see where we can go from there. You ready?

What’s Good:

You truly wanna know what makes that final hug a great scene? A real showstopper? I have the truth, the best truth behind this, you won’t believe me but here goes. The climax worked because A Hug Is Nice. That’s it, there’s nothing else to it beyond a hug being nice. “But Monkey, you incel troll, there’s should’ve been more to that. The episode shouldn’t have taken that long to get to that point.” Well, in typical fashion, let me put it this way by talking about Spider-Man 2 (better than Spiderverse, don’t @ me). The whole movie is centered around Peter’s life getting shat on. He’s getting fired left and right, his people are abandoning him, he even loses his powers, he’s just at his utter lowest. But at his apartment, while contemplating, in comes his landlord’s daughter, Ursula, who offers him some chocolate cake and a glass of milk.

We can say the scene comes out of nowhere and that this is all that happens, feeling pointless, but I say this is an important scene because after everything that happens to him before, this one gesture from somebody out of nowhere to be honest was one of the nicest things he’s received in a while. It’s the seedling of a scene that keeps Parker going before Doc Ock comes to make him truly spring back into action. Above everything, it was nice. Like a hug.

I don’t need to be philosophically deep with SU2′s meta to tell you that a hug can be a worthwhile thing to get more than anything. It doesn’t resolve all the baggage Steven has in his mind, but a group hug from the people closest to you (and the Diamonds) can be a gesture so nice, it can numb you out, if only for a moment. Only other times where Steven got a hug was when he felt everything could be okay. With Lars, Peridot, and Connie after her “rejection”, and it’s after that “rejection” where he slowly loses it in his attempts to shake off that harsh feeling of abandonment and that everything can be okay. It is something where he can turn to the others for help but the concern of their response makes him reasonably suffer in silence. That last part is a little dumb, but I’ll get to that later. He can’t really hug himself because it doesn’t work like that. The point being that Steven, at his lowest, just needed something nice to consider. And a hug from everyone who loves him (and the Diamonds) can be that piece of chocolate cake he needed to be at ease, again, if only for a moment.

Like let me tell ya, as a deliriously depressed man that constantly wishes for death, a hug shouldn’t be spat on. Whether it be from your friends or mommy, a good hug can, at the very least, keep you sane and going. It isn’t medication, let’s not get it twisted, but a healthy remedy nonetheless, especially if you’ve ever felt touch-starved like I have before. It’s an affectionate gesture that for what it’s worth, should never be taken for granted. And while Steven could’ve well gotten this big type hug at almost any time he desired, I can at least appreciate the show for saving that at the right time. Whew. But, while the moment itself is nice, it’s predictably almost everything around it that unfortunately puts the moment in a vacuum and me with a bad taste in my mouth.

What’s Bad: 

Let’s get this out the way, because I’m such a literal bastard... *inhale*

Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis.

MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!

Congrats on those with the corrupted!steven theories who no doubt had it hard on when this horned trunk ascended, hung its head high, and beat its meaty chest with blind rage, the crewniverse certainly had the balls to go with this design and a long discussion of utilizing Monster Steven’s full potential. And if you think I’m nasty about this, hoo boy, be glad that words are all you’re seeing right now because artists no doubt had a field day potentially ruining this design for you even more. I’m surprised Tumblr’s flagging system hasn’t taken down whole posts with this. HEHEHEHAAAAAAAA!

As you can probably tell, I’m not a fan of this Diamond Dinodildo’s design (say that 5x times fast). I mean Rebecca could be as horny as she pleased with this show, but this is next level, I tell you. But seriously, it honestly sucked that this is what they came up with when it served no purpose to Steven thematically other than him being a literal peen of a monster. Said this before, but what does becoming a corrupted looking amalgamation mean to him beyond “he’s a monster”? Corrupted gems weren’t the worst things in his world, they were products of a even worse thing. Turning into a diamond like figure would’ve said something about the cycle of abuse making you not feel like yourself, but a reflection of who you not only resent more than anyone, but were the indirect causes of your newfound issues. That would’ve took his struggle in the Diamonds Days arc to its next logical extreme, and brought most of Future’s episodes centered around Steven��s issues to a sensible turning point. Being a warped Diamond version of himself would’ve meant finally embracing inhumanity, and that would’ve conveyed the peak of Steven harshly feeling less like a human over the course of the season, especially when we had several episodes and new powers centering around him being inhuman. And a previous episode had him try to shatter a Pink version of White Diamond, two beings generally responsible for everything that’s happened to him. And it isn’t the design that made this a turn off.

What was Steven even gonna do as a monster? He does nothing to the town, he never even makes it pass the cliffside. He doesn’t even try to attack anybody, the only times he does is when he’s provoked by either the Cluster, the Diamonds, or any of the gems. Spinel raised more hell than Steven. So on the look back it’s insultingly sad they hyped up this big dick energy only to do... genuinely nothing. He already didn’t deserve turning into Pinky the Phallisaurus, but having him not even do anything as a monster left far more to be desired. Mob Psycho 100 did this nearly identical, but better. You can’t deny that it would’ve worked better with 22 minutes, actually give him something to do beyond screech and stomp like he’s Scrat from Ice Age. As much as I don’t like Change Your Mind, 45 minutes worked to its favor to do everything it did. Oh wait, this episode did make good use of time... with a fucking pity party.

They wasted my baby

This is. The WORST scene in the entire series and I’ll stand by that 100%. It’s one thing to show something offensive, but it’s another to have something be completely pointless. Yes, Connie talked some sense into them, but we didn’t need to waste time having White Diamond and the others bitch about something everyone who isn’t a toesucking simp should’ve figured out at that point. Not like it mattered, the Diamonds and Spinel never show up after this episode anyways, so good job making them count for something, I guess. This as well as minorly acknowledge the fact that the gems had a lot to do with Steven’s mental trauma because hey, we don’t have to hold these gems too accountable for child neglect. Speaking of which, where was Jasp- This plays well into my previous point, we aren’t shown what Steven was gonna do as a monster, so what else is the episode to do beyond holding him back in time to just make the characters go “All is lost” for one second before getting back up like this is Marvel’s Captain Driftwood?

Friendship is Magic had this type of moment in its penultimate finale but in that, more time was given to show the villains getting the upper hand, Twilight at her low point, her turnaround with her friends, and the lead in charge to defeat the villains. While some moments felt convenient and downright insulting, they made the most of their limit. The same can’t be said for this and it makes no sense. Speaking of things that make no sense:

Was this shapeshifting or corruption? Rushing or dragging? This personally bothers me because people are saying he shapeshifted even when they were also on board with him corrupting. But what was the point where monster Steven cums cries into the ocean turning it pink?

Now if Steven got himself corrupted, this would make sense since the three Diamonds are there with so fully turning him back to normal wouldn’t be an issue. Questions would arise about how corruption can happen to a human, then again this is Steven Universe, fans never really wanted you to ask questions. But if this was shapeshifting, then why have this permanent monster form? It would’ve made a little more sense of Steven changing his shape depending on his emotions, like what we’ve seen before. Additionally, Steven should have been capable of talking normally instead of roaring and growling like he switched brains with an actual animal. Just because he kinned Godzilla’s joystick doesn’t mean he was unable to speak to anybody, that is if he shapeshifted. Lastly, and this is more implicit than my previous points:

This season shouldn’t have tried tacking mental issues and trauma onto this dickslap of a climax. I’m on the side where we should’ve seen more from monster Steven, but what does this tell me for the topic of mental health? Nearly killing people on three separate occasions didn’t help, but having him transform into a near mindless beast is a backhanded way to convey post traumatic stress. Let me put it this way, if we didn’t get that episode where we learn Steven had held up trauma and stress from Doctor Priyanka, everything surrounding it afterward wouldn’t feel as fucked up as it did. Yes, understanding a root of a character’s problems is good, beneficial even, but having your character nearly, sporadically, commit MURDER THREE TIMES only to then have him become a wildin’ creature does nothing, if not disgust. It's disgusting when you talk about PTS one minute and have your main character be socially dangerous the next. You’d feel sorry for him, sure, but I gotta say nearly killing people is not something we should just hand wave. That is not a good or realistic depiction of depression and post traumatic stress; especially when you trying to discuss this with children. And don’t try to justify it by saying it was necessary for his downward spiral. Having to think and see death before my own eyes in real life, there should’ve been a better way to make Steven hit rock bottom without putting other’s lives on the line. It wasn’t compelling or resonating to see him become a witless creature after saying he could get away with anything, it felt jarringly hallow and teeth gritting sadistic to think this was acceptable. It took him turning into a literal creature to finally go to therapy or a throwaway line about therapy in this show’s case? Are you kidding me?

The hug is a nice moment on its own, but it took far too many kneecaps to get to this point and think it’s believably or justly earned. I can make fun of the monster design all I want, but what they put Steven through to get to this point is the most insulting writing I ever have to think about. Because you know what that hug told me, personally? It’s that you can commit near irrefutable atrocities, you can behave like a blithering rampaging beast all you wish, but that won’t matter. Because you’re valid and your people will love you. That is not only asinine, but it kinda pissed on what I went through growing up. Like, as idealistic as that felt, it didn’t add up because it made the mentally unstable come off as more unstable than they mostly are. You can disagree all you want with this, it won’t change the baffling fact that I came to this conclusion in the first place when I didn’t want to. “But the crew said in an interv-” NO, just nope. If the message the show gives is this polarizing for those that invested or were concerned with it, maybe the message wasn’t clear enough, who knows? I can believe Mr. Rogers never fucked this up when he made his show. I tried thinking of this differently, but I can’t excuse what they did and how they did it. Bojack Horseman never pulled this with its main lead and when it truly did, that was given more time to sort out; not an 11 minute epilogue in its final moments. The hug was nice, but this episode was trash.

Speaking of which, next time...

We Finally Look to the Future

Here’s Part 2, if you’re up.

[homespork-review]

Spork Introduction

CHEL: Hi! I go by Chel, they or she pronouns, and I’m the one spearheading this project. I still like at least a fair percentage of Homestuck, but after the ending disappointed me a great deal, I got bitter, and when Hussie pissed me off further by Godwinning himself, I decided to do something about it. I’m no longer angry about it, but I felt I’d benefit from picking out what I hate from what I love so I can focus on the latter without annoyance getting in the way, and also to benefit my own writing efforts.

BRIGHT: Howdy! I’m Bright, and I got into Homestuck fairly recently. After ploughing through the archive and digesting for a while, I realised that I was thoroughly annoyed by how something enjoyable had fallen apart so comprehensively. I am looking forward to the time-honoured practice of ripping the story apart to identify its weak points and shout at them.

FAILURE ARTIST: Hello, I’m Failure Artist (call me FA for short), she/her/herself pronouns, and I’m so old-school they burned the school down. I was introduced to Homestuck via Something Awful’s Webcomic thread. I checked the old mspadventures.com site and the latest update was [S] John: Bite Apple. After watching that bizarre piece of animation, I had to know what the hell happened before then. I found I enjoyed the wit of the comic though I didn’t really care much about the plot. It was only when Act 5 came around that I became a serious fan. I currently have 122 Homestuck works on Archive of Our Own. I have a lot of free time, you see. I am very disappointed in how Homestuck ended. Possibly there was no completely satisfactory way it could end but it still could have been better. I feel like Hussie was a juggler who threw a lot of balls into the air and ignored them as they fell to the ground and some fans think not catching them was a master move since you’d expect he’d try to catch at least one. Sadly, lots of the problems with the ending are embedded deep within the canon.

TIER: Hi hi. I am Tier, a very late newcomer to the wonderful world of Homestuck (2018 reader!) and average fan overall. I love this webcomic to bits, but the low points are deep and I enjoy seeking out what the heck went wrong. Not particularly analytical myself, hope that's cool!

CHEL: Cool by us! We’ve already done plenty of analysing before we started, as you may realise from my Tumblr’s “homestuck ending hate” tag (at @chelonianmobile).

FAILURE ARTIST: But let’s put that aside for a moment and talk about the good stuff. 

Homestuck is incredibly innovative. It is the first true webcomic. It’s not just a print comic posted online. It uses not just still images and words but also animation, music, and interactive games.

Homestuck is the latest adventure in the series MS Paint Adventures. MS Paint Adventures started as a forum adventure. In forum adventures, the OP acts as a sort of Dungeon Master and other forum members give them prompts. Andrew Hussie’s previous works under MS Paint Adventures were Jailbreak (which is little more than Hussie dicking with the prompters in scatological ways), Bard’s Quest (Choose-your-own-adventure), and the actually-completed Problem Sleuth. Problem Sleuth lacks the music and animation and despite the weird physics shenanigans is a simpler story than Homestuck. The characters aren’t even two dimensional.

Homestuck (and the previous MS Paint Adventures minus Bard’s Quest) are set up like adventure games. Adventure games are where the player is a protagonist in a story and are usually focused on puzzle-solving though sometimes there’s combat. In the beginning, these games were purely text. The player would type what they wanted to do and the game would spout back text describing it - assuming the computer parser understood you.

CHEL: Oh god, I HATED that. I wasn’t around for the heyday but I’ve played a couple and

Pale Luna

was barely an exaggeration (horror warning).

FAILURE ARTIST: As graphics improved, adventure games started using them, but the commands were still in text. Only later was the point-and-click interface created and players didn’t have to guess what exact sentence the computer wanted them to type. Homestuck and the other MS Paint Adventures play with that frustration while paying tribute to the genre. The game within the comic uses RPG elements but the comic itself is set up like those good ol’ adventure games. In the beginning, Homestuck was guided by commands from forum members. Even after he closed the suggestion box, he used memes and fanon created by readers.

CHEL: How good an idea this was varies, as we’ll be showing.

We probably don’t need to describe Homestuck much more. Everyone here who hasn’t read it will doubtless have heard of it. Almost everyone with a Tumblr will have seen fanart, almost anyone at a convention will have seen cosplay. Shoutouts have been made to it in professional works such as the cartoon Steven Universe, and the Avengers fandom latched onto “caw caw motherfuckers” as a catchphrase for Hawkeye to the point that it’s now often forgotten it didn’t originate from there.

FAILURE ARTIST: The Homestuck fandom term “sadstuck” for depressing stories/headcanons somehow leaked into other fandoms. Using second-person is actually cool now and not just for awkward reader fics. Astrology will never be the same again.

CHEL: Now, in the interests of fairness, we will say that when Homestuck is good, it’s amazing, and it’s good often. The characters at least start out appealing and are all immediately distinguishable; even with the typing quirks stripped, it’s easy to tell who said what. The magic system is one of the coolest I’ve ever seen, who doesn’t love classpecting themselves and their faves? Hussie also shows a lot of talent for the complex meta and time travel weirdness, and it is fascinating to watch a timeline thread unfurl. And whatever else one says, it’s a fascinating story that’s captivated millions. I think it is deserving of its title as a modern classic.

However, as the years have passed, we have ended up noticing problems, big and small, and they nagged at us until we decided it had to be dissected. Our intention here isn’t to tear apart something we loathe entirely. It’s to take a complex work and pick out what works from what doesn’t. As I said, when Homestuck is good, it’s very very good. But when it’s bad, we get problems of every scale from various offensive comments to dragging pace to characters ignoring problems and solutions right under their noses to an absolute collapse of every theme and statement the comic stood for before.

The comic is ludicrously long; eight thousand pages, or thereabouts, to be specific. Officially one of the longest works of fiction in the English language, in fact. Naturally, we can’t riff that word by word in any timeframe short of decades, and we can’t include every picture, even if that was permitted under copyright law. Instead, as comics have been done here before, we’ll recap most of the time, and include sections of dialogue and pictures when particularly relevant to a point.

Here are the counts we’ll be using, possibly to be added to later if we find we forgot anything. Most of these counts will only start to climb post-Act 5, but we’ll be keeping track of them from the beginning. Most of them could have been fixed with a decent editor, which is sadly a hazard of webcomics, but still frustrating to read.

TIER: Note: we started this endeavor months before the thought of a "technically not but still we'll count it" set of canon epilogues were a twinkle in the eyes of the fandom. That is, by the way, a whole 'nother can of worms that will be dealt with at a later date if that ever comes around. We're judging Homestuck the Webcomic as a whole, so no after the credits stuff is to be noted for whatever reason.

ALL THE LUCK - Vriska Serket constantly gets a pass or gets favored over every other character. This count is added to every time she pulls some shenanigans with which others wouldn’t get away. ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? - Sometimes it’s not entirely clear whether a thing is supposed to be taken seriously or not. We don’t require hand-holding through every joke, but when, for example, we’re supposed to take one instance of violence seriously while a similar case is supposed to be funny, this count goes up. CALL CPA PLEASE - Instances of creepy sexual behaviour (and perhaps particularly gratuitous acts of violence) from the thirteen-year-old cast. Now, mileage may vary on this one. We won’t pretend that thirteen-year-olds are perfect pure angels, especially thirteen-year-olds growing up in what is openly supposed to be a nightmarish dystopia. However, when full pages focus on said behaviour, there comes a point of it being very uncomfortable to read. Clarification: does not refer to cases where the adults do something heinous, this is strictly when the kids do. CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS - When an offensive joke or comment is made, particularly when not justified by the personality of the character involved, or presented in the narration as being okay. GET ON WITH IT! - When the pace drags. ‘Nuff said. Hazard of the format, but it makes archive bingeing very annoying. GORE GALORE - For unnecessary and/or excessive torture porn which is treated less seriously because it features troll characters, and therefore less “realistic” blood colours. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC - When the comic does something mentioned in How Not To Write A Novel, and it isn’t justified by the webcomic format. HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING - Characters repeatedly neglect to do something about or even react to terrible happenings, either because they don’t care even if they should or they forget they have the capacity. Not necessarily anything to do with their magical powers, either - characters ignore personal problems that are right under their noses, too. IN HATE WITH MY CREATION - For reasons that are unclear, Hussie chose to create characters he apparently hated writing, or at least ignored in favour of others. Every time he’s clearly disrespecting one of his own characters, this goes up, whether it’s by nerfing their powers or changing their personalities. RELATIONSHIP GOALS? - Romantic relationships in particular get fumbled quite often. Ship Teasing is used with skill, but that skill tends to be lost when the characters actually hook up. Fumbled friendships and family relations can also come under this heading. SEND THEM TO THE SLAMMER - When characters other than Vriska get away with something morally questionable. Covers everything from sexual harassment to not trying to save people from the apocalypse. SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS - Later on in Homestuck’s run, Hussie tried to make up for the offensive humour and casual -isms counted by Clockwork Problematykks above. How successful he was at this varied. This count goes up whenever an attempt at progressivism is waved in front of the reader but doesn’t stand up under scrutiny. WHAT IS HAPPENING?? - When the already confusing plot kicks it up a notch. Admittedly this is as much a selling point of the comic as it is an issue, but either way, we’re going to keep track. Points will be added to when it gets confusing, and taken away when a previous confusing thing is explained adequately. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM - What is shown about Alternia repeatedly contradicts what we’re told about how different it is from Earth. For example, trolls still use heteronormative terms even after it’s established they reproduce bisexually, and the demonstration of the class structure doesn’t always add up. This count goes up every time that happens. It also goes up every time something happens which strongly implies Hussie was envisioning the human kids as white, despite his later claims that they were always supposed to be “aracial”, and every time their economic statuses don’t add up either.

[obiternihili]

I want to like ssc, but every time I go to the site to read stuff there's... something in the air that really rubs me the wrong way. And I'm not really confident in my ability to articulate it and definitely not in a way that would make ~respectable discourse~ or whatever it'd be called. Of course I'm gonna try because, ???, I'm a prick???

But it's like, not really that major anyways. Just maybe hopefully some insight to be had about people who don't like his writing style? I hope?

But like, if I tried to articulate it at all, he's too Sam Harris-y. That's something bad about EY, that's something bad about rationalists as a whole. That's something bad about para-rationalists as well, including fucking me so maybe I'm throwing stones. If you finish this, do please keep in mind that my opening paragraph is admitting that I don't really read him in a habitual aspect. Anyone can rub anyone else the wrong way and first impressions count for a disproportionate lot, even if it's multiple first impressions over a period of a few years. You can feed even a rational inference machine unrepresentative data, like the point of that post of mine that went viralish a little while ago But some Sam Harris-y traits:

We like to be married to our strawmen, even after it's been repeatedly explained to us that the strawman is (shockingly) not a good model of the inner motivations of the people we're criticizing. But unfortunately when you throw out strawmen, the most likely people to respond seem to be the most like the strawmen for some reason, which I feel is happening with the lazy garbage commies who go on hate campaigns against him (the serious ones ignore him actually). And I supposed that almost certainly what happens with me and ancap-types, but I don't really have evidence to support that like I feel I have with Scott's situation.

We have a tendency to talk about new studies like they're objectively correct while ignoring the consensus. That's... not how science works. It's especially common when the conclusion is convenient to our biases, which in Scott's case really seems to mean "is interesting" more than any particular ideology. But like for Harris types it's one thing to think pomo's influence on the sciences has issues, it's another to think that while also using the same philosophical tools to critique sciences that aren't achieving concordance. Like you're going too meta there and throwing the baby out with the bathwater instead of really doing the work to get out the good data in your own framework. It's probably my own biases in assessing my writing but I don't feel like I'm as guilty of this as I used to be, with my being worst at it ironically around the time I started reading rationalist-adjacent stuff; maybe it's because I came into this with a strong allergy to that kind of pattern from my own experiences in the atheism wars and alt-medicine.

Scott mostly just ignores trolls (and ineffectual critics) which is really good behavior, but Sam Harris types also have this tendency to mistake "trying to talk in a neuter tone" with "talking in a neuter tone" (and with Scott he doesn't seem to take a lot of blogging very formally to begin with, which, that's fine, it's incredibly fine, but it affects the synthesis of a wannabe neutral tone and laid back assumptions) and feel offense when someone else doesn't understand them or gets mind-killed early on. Instead of looking over their own work for their own weaknesses as a "neutral writer" they (we) instead have the unfortunate habit of talking about mind-killing like it's the other party's fault. Scott kind of gives off this vibe (I probably do too).

But this comes off as incredibly snide and condescending and is almost a pan-rationalist vice. Like I'd name names but this is already me being an ass as it is. Most of the people I follow do this to some degree, actually. And this might be a bad opinion, but, some topics are not neutral no matter how much you want them to be and your bias is gonna get the better of you if you don't mindfully wrestle with it. Maybe I over-anthropomorphize as well but ideas aren't to be trusted, because they want to take advantage of you so they get passed along; so do expect that they have ways of breaking into and fucking around with your cold, distant, neutral demeanor even if you think it's a game or at least you have no stake in the game.

To be honest - and maybe this is a terrible thing that negatively effects the strength of what I try to say - this is why I try to wear my biases on my sleeve. Because when I don't the impact tends to be heavier than I'm usually prepared to deal with. And when I see my thinking in plain english instead of trying to cover it up I generally feel like I'm handicapping myself when the discussion eventually devolves to tone. Because on there should be my own mistakes so I can avoid trying to be a hypocrite, instead of the shadows of my mistakes obscured even from me such that I defend myself as if I don't cast a shadow.

(Which - casting a shadow, as opposed to deity-like glowing radiance (and which I'm quick to point out radiant bodies also cast shadows, such that not even the gods are perfect even if it's not obvious) - is a metaphor I've used for imperfection and probably isn't an obvious metaphor, sorry if explaining this feels condescending)

There's also probably something to be said about ~revealed preferences~ but I don't really like that piece at all. It seems true to me that people that like certain models of the mind tend to think that way themselves, though, but in general I think the revealed preferences assumes people are more rational than they really are and that people's actions don't really correlate to their inner worlds. There might be *something* to the argument that if you give off the impression of being a reactionary (or tankie, or psycho, or narcissist, or pedo-lover or gay-hater or brown-people-genocider or [positive and neutral things I can't juxtapose against the previous because it would imply they're a natural set] or whatever) through the actions you take such as who you fight or policies you support or mistakes you're willing to make, it might be because you have reactionary (etc) pattern-matching biases in your writings creeping in from your own world, but like if inner worlds really correlated with actions I'd be dead so it'd probably come across as incredibly hypocritical to try to point out that it seems like model held to be true has negative implications and bullets you're willing to bite about yourself. Don't even know if Scott buys into that piece anyways, maybe barking up a wrong tree.

At least this shit is why places like r/badphilosophy have anti-Harris memes. Their applicability to rationalists and para-rationalists and really anyone is probably more of a subjective impressionistic thing than an absolute fact. Harris fans like to say he's taken out of context, for example. My own experiences with the guy are like he's like Marx - taken out of context, but the context gets taken out of context because he's kinda low key a pompous windbag and actually at the next level of context above the context looks like the smallest layer of context again. Like Marx's opiate of the masses quote.

-

Like I said I don't (habitually) read ssc tho. I'm particularly quick to confuse disagreement with moral failing probably, half this shit's probably not even characteristic of his writing and is just an incorrect set of impressions I've gotten over years of only reading his weakest pieces or second-and-triple hand exposure to him. I really like the anonymized-esque quasi-professional advice he's given on things like depression and he's had a number of jokes I've laughed at or points about non-psychiatric topics I've thought were well articulated. I don't have anything against him and he's a worker who does something I could never do with less free time than I could manage with blogging mostly casually in that free time, so like having lofty expectations that he caters to my preferred writing styles is dickish anyways.

I just tried reading stuff of his again yesterday while running errands because a reactionary-feeling blog was shitting on him, was put off by something I couldn't actually put my finger on while wanting to like him, and tried to describe nebulous gut feelings 12 hours later in a moment of lucidity while being woken up from medication side effects augmented by stupidly poorly managed time on my part, so take me with a boulder of salt

EDIT I also wanted to add a point about how people have this habit of talking about things like everyone else assumes the same points. I'm particularly atrocious at this and basically it can come off as really snide and patronizing if you don't and feels like going A > C because A > B without establishing or referencing why B > C but I forgot to add the point. Rationalist jargon is basically all about shorthanding A > C and Harris is particularly atrocious about it as well, and between it and the other Harris-y stuff is why everyone hates rationalists

[skipsngiggles]

Here we go. I'm gonna babble a bit about my favorite show, Arrow. It's been quite a while since I've fangirled anything, and I honestly wasn't even sure I'd like Arrow, I mean, he came across so much like Batman, and no offense to anyone who loves Batman but I am not a fan of Batman, at all. Dude is a Billionaire business tycoon and a ladies man, and the fact that he prefers to work alone, never letting anyone get close emotionally always depressed me. I myself need people in my life. I need loving, healthy relationships, with someone other than the butler. Bruce Wayne is the guy I silently cringe to myself about. I mean, I feel bad his parents died, and it's obviously good that he chose to turn his pain and suffering into being a hero vigilante, but cmon dude, why do you have to be so dark all the time?....anyway, back on topic, That was Arrow, right. Except he uses arrows and doesn't have the bat mobile. Poor man's, or rather stripped down, Batman. I mean, Arrow had a bit more humor, but the overall storyline I gathered from comics, I wasn't convinced I'd like Oliver much...even the one true "love" of his life he seemed to treat terribly. Anyway... I started watching Arrow because of the crossovers with The Flash. With each crossover, I noticed the tone of the Arrow Characters change. I adored Felicity right off the bat, she literally speaks to my nerd soul. And the dynamic between Diggle and Oliver, and the chemistry between Oliver and Felicity was evident immediately. Diggle and Felicity, characters not in the comics at all, brought a better man out of Oliver. Made him actually Likeable, loveable even. OTA got me. Felicity got me, Olicity grabbed me by the heartstrings. This I had to see more of. I binged the first four seasons hard. I've never binged anything harder. I have a full time job, two kids, two dogs, a husband, sports...I binged...I didn't want to sleep guys. And I saw the batman plotlines, but it was so much better, because Oliver had Diggle and Felicity. Diggle reminded him he was human and brought a higher standard, as did Felicity, who also made Oliver Feel something real. She made him want to deserve her. He also made her better. They brought the best out of each other. 😍 Season Four ended and season five started, and I was hopeful, but also lost...where did OTA go? What happened? What is wrong with Felicity, she changed. They all changed...oh no no no... They are going to make him like batman, Like the comic Arrow...NOOOO! 😭 I stuck with it though, by this time I was invested. I needed to see my OTA happy, at least in some capacity. I needed hope. The angst, the hard feelings, the walls being built...it was painful. The reintroduction of Laurel Lance actually made me happy. It forced the team to build in the right direction. And from there the episodes got stronger. The emotion returned, and grew, and overflowed. The moments of torture were mind blowing and heart wrenching. the last half of season five was so well written. The leaps and bounds in character building, in team building, all the relationships...it was incredible. And then it all came to heartbreak at the end in that grand explosion on the island with everyone on it but Oliver and William. And now we wait. And as much as we know that OTA will return, that Dinah Drake, Rene, E2 Laurel, will return. As much as I worry for Thea ( she can't die), Curtis, Samantha...I look forward to the dynamics of season 6. I hope the characters don't regress, that the team reunites and becomes stronger than ever. I hope Oliver and Felicity can finally be together without their relationship being a target or liability, that they can just be the power couple we all love them for being. Bringing out the best in each other. Synchronicity. We have been blessed with this once in a multiverse chance crossing of these two stars. We have watched them grow and build on each other. It wasn't meant to be. But it happened. And as a girl that believes in chance encounters making such impacts, I love this relationship and everything it represents. I love everything Felicity represents. The smart, awkward, witty, genuine, bold, strong, beautiful human being that she is who is considered a hero on her own. I hope that she continues to inspire and be an example for girls like my daughter, that can be fearless as well as strong and smart and bright. People like Felicity have to exist in this world. And those people are what this world needs. I hope that Black Siren finds redemption. That she finds something or someone that brings out the best in her. Like Tommy did for E1 Laurel in season 1. I wish for a team that even if they have their own individual storylines and issues, they always come together as a team, as a family. I want an Olicity wedding. I want a crazy crossover episode where an off the wall, one episode villain messes with the meta heroes powers and transfers them to the human heroes (Imagine Oliver with super speed, Felicity able to vibe, and the way they struggle with those powers when they interact with one another) and they all still manage to work together for the win in the end. I want a team ready to operate like family, in it together, for the long haul. I want to see this show make it ten seasons. No more Batman. More CW universe Green Arrow.

[anrbackchannels]

Autism Acceptance in A:NR

Autism acceptance month is this month (April), so I’ve put together a little primer on autism for the Android: Netrunner community with some suggestions on how to make A:NR events more accessible.  I’m no expert, but I’m an adult on the spectrum whose special interest is A:NR, and since nobody seems to be talking about this I figured I would.

I think I’ve only made it through all the swiss rounds in three A:NR events of the dozen or so I’ve played in.  It’s always an ordeal for me to prepare for an event. I’m not a competitive player, so I don’t worry about being at the top of my game or gauging the meta.  I worry about what the space will be like, when I get breaks and for how long, and where I can go to have a meltdown/shutdown.  I worry about how many people will be there, what (precisely) will be expected of me, and I worry whether I’ll be having a ‘good day’; that is, a day where my symptoms are less severe - all among other things that will ruin my fun and have nothing to do with the game.  It is not a wonder that I tilt easily and if I leave an event without crying, I consider that a victory.  I don’t think it has to be this way.

Without a basic understanding of Autism Spectrum Disorders, this post will be hard to understand.  ASD is a disability that manifests in five different aspects of a person’s life: sensory processing, cognition, motor skills, language/communication, and social behaviors.  Each autistic person is autistic in a unique way.  I, for example, have a lot of difficulty with sensory processing and cognition, minor difficulties with language, and when I socialize I can more or less pass as an awkward neurotypical person most of the time, but it is really exhausting.  Therefore, my needs for accommodation are unique, but there are some ways that organizers and participants can make things more accessible for all autistics.

For Organizers:

Providing a tolerable venue:

Input from our senses can be overwhelming or hard to understand.  We can struggle to sort background ‘noise’ from the input that is relevant to the task at hand.  We could be distracted, or hurt really, by a particularly offensive smell, recurrent sound, light, or texture and it is hard to function when there are very high levels of sensory input.  That said, I think game stores, where most A:NR is played (at least in the states), are my hell-on-earth.  Here’re some guidelines for making an environment more accessible for autistics.

Eliminate background noise as much as possible

Use non-fluorescent lighting

Keep things clean, BUT

Don’t use strong smelling chemicals

Crowds are really overwhelming so be mindful of what you think the actual, accessible participant capacity is.

be mindful of other events happening at the same place on the same day.

Have a separate, more sensory-friendly space where autistics can go to escape overstimulation.

Providing structure:

I don’t function well without structure.  Ambiguity, sudden changes, and inconsistencies are all more difficult to cope with as an autistic person and they’re also a part of every event I’ve been to.  All A:NR events have timed rounds, which is a great start.  But how much time will be between rounds?  How many rounds will there be?  Will there be a break to eat/drink/replenish?  I understand some of these things can’t be determined until the turnout is accounted for, but making this information available will make the event easier to navigate for autistics.  More of my brain power can go towards the boardstate when I’m not rattled and trying to cope with a sudden change that happened before the round even began. Again, some guidelines:

Make a schedule available ASAP

Announce it and make it accessible, an autistic person might not have the ability to ask about what’s happening next, so don’t try to wing it if you don’t have to.

Give a 2-5 minute warning before every major transition during the event.

Stick to the schedule as closely as possible.

For Everyone:

Here are some guidelines for being a good ally (after ASAN’s):

In general:

Understand the basics of what autism is and is not.

Don’t use slurs like retard/retarded.

Don’t use functioning labels (high/low) for us.

Respect our boundaries.

Respect stimming (see the stims section below).

At events:

Avoid using strongly scented perfumes, shampoos, etc.

Be mindful with flash photography.

Be willing to make extra effort to communicate with us effectively.

Stims (not the drugs):

Stims are a beautiful and necessary part of our lives.  If you’ve played a game of Netrunner with me, you might have asked yourself “Why did she just close her eyes, clench her fists and say ‘blblblblblblblblbblllllaaaaaahhhh... ocelot, ocelot, ocelot...’?”  The short answer is: it feels good.  It’s an example of stimming, which helps us calm or express ourselves and regulate our senses.  Stims create desirable sensory input for us to focus on.  They can be repetitive movements like chewing, rocking back and forth, or flapping hands or they can be verbal like humming or repeating sounds, words, or phrases.  Try not to be alarmed and don’t try to prevent any harmless stims.  Stimhack would be an awesome name for an autistic Netrunner group if it weren’t already taken.

There are definite limitations to the scope of accessibility I can address here.  My emphasis here on sensory issues, predictability, and acceptance largely reflects my own needs.  Most autistics have co-morbid conditions like anxiety or depression and some have learning disabilities.  Some autistics need communication aids.  Many other disabilities are important too, but I’m not really knowledgeable enough to advocate for them here.  I hope that, with increased accommodation and acceptance, many more disabled people will be playing in our community; and that disabled people, especially autistics, will not be left out of broader conversations on diversity and social justice in gaming.