#their angst hurt for about a week and now I’m over it and onto Funny Good Omens thoughts like

[mutalune]

I simply have too many strong opinions about good omens that do not align with a lot of the meta going around and I do not care to write it all up b/c I simply do not care if anyone agrees with me as I am certain that I am the Correct and am not wrong (nor have I ever been wrong) about my analyses of s2 and feelings about the show as a whole

so as a heads up moving forward I will only be posting and reblogging silly good omens content now as well as fic recs and my own fic as I write them until this hyperfixation burns out~

And this, babes, is self-care 👏🏻

[multifandomfanficss]

Don’t Stop My Heart

Tyler Owens x Reader

Prompt: You and Tyler take a road trip up to Iowa to catch some of the last tornadoes of the season, but he takes the teasing a little too far.

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, mentions of car crashes, swerving, shitty ex boyfriends. No use of Y/N.

A/N: Hello! I didn’t proofread this one as many times as I usually do. I’m coming off a 4 and a half month writers block so I really just wanted to write and post while I was excited to do it. My job has been draining me as of late, so I’m trying to write when I get the impulse. I have so many Tyler ideas and no time to write them. Crossposted on my AO3 adriansglasses.

It was still fairly early, the sun was still rising. Last night you’d planned an impromptu trip up north to Iowa. It was about a 7 hour trip from Oklahoma, so you were on the road before 6. You were hoping to get there around noon. You didn’t love getting up that early, but Tyler promised he’d drive you and you could sleep in the truck. Tornado season was pretty much over aside from an isolated storm or two, but Iowa had been having very unusual storm activity all week. Tyler couldn’t resist hitting a couple more tornadoes in late August when the season was supposed to be pretty much over with.

You stayed awake for a little bit. You wanted to watch as you crossed into Missouri.

“Missouri welcomes you.” Tyler reads out loud.

“Yes! Finally!” You giggle.

“I didn’t realize you were such a big fan of Missouri.” Tyler comments.

“Oh, I’m not.” You pause, looking out your window.

“First you’re hypin’ her up, now you’re gonna disappoint her.” He jokes.

“I’m sorry, I’m sure Missouri’s fine, but I’m more excited about that.” You point to a Hardee’s down the street.

“Really? We’re crossin’ state lines and you’re gonna make me take you to Hardee’s? You can get Carl’s Jr. anytime you want back home. That’s basically the same thing.” He argues.

“Take that back! You’re just saying that because you’re a Texas boy! You’ve never had the luxury of Hardee’s.” You joke.

“If Carl’s Jr. is better, I’m not letting you pick where we eat for the rest of the trip.” Tyler puts on his turn signal and sighs.

“How is that fair? I’ve never eaten at this location. What if it sucks?” You laugh.

“You picked your Hardee’s hill and now you’re gonna die on it. Now keep your trap closed and tell me what’s good on the menu.” Tyler makes a pretend threatening face towards you as he pulls into the drive thru.

“How am I supposed to not talk and at the same time tell you what’s good?” You tease back.

“Hi welcome to Hardee’s, may I take your order?” The drive thru speaker cuts you off. Tyler shushes you and you giggle.

After getting your food you start unwrapping the straws and putting them in both drinks.

“Whatever score we give this we need to give it extra points to account for how good the curly fries would be if they were serving lunch.” You try to bargain, taking a bite.

“No, you can’t just change the rules after we already got our food, that’s cheating. Just because you’re from the north, doesn’t mean you can cheat me.” He argues. He continues driving, leaving behind the paved roads of the small town.

“You’re acting like I’m Canadian!” You giggle.

“Well, Upper Midwest is basically Canada. There’s literally a town in Iowa called Toronto!” He smirks, taking the last bite of his food, continuing to drive through the middle of nowhere Missouri, back onto the gravel roads through the soybean fields.

“Shut up!” You playfully hit his arm. He jokingly swerves and your stomach flips. You gasp air. “Tyler, knock it off.”

“You’re the one who hit me.” He pleas innocent.

“I didn’t hit you that hard.” You defend.

“I thought you were gonna sleep on the drive.” He says, smirking.

“I might later, I’m not tired.” You answer, falling for his bit. He does a big fake yawn.

“Well if you’re not tired, I might take a little nap.” He lightly swerves again.

“Tyler, this isn’t funny!” You plead.

“What? Oh. Do you mind watching the road? We woke up so early and I’m pretty tired.” He jokes before swerving again. He’s taking the joke way too far. Once was one thing, twice was too much. You start hyperventilating.

“Tyler, STOP!” You yell, tears starting to come to your eyes.

“Woah woah woah, sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m sorry. I’ll stop.” He has a concerned look on his face. He knew he had taken it too far.

“It’s not funny.” You cry.

“You’re right, it’s not funny. I would never-a done it if I’d known it would make you feel unsafe. I do it all the time on chases and that don’t seem to bother you. I didn’t realize-“

“That’s different! The roads and the fields when there’s no storms are different! We’re on an actual road! What- what if there were other people?! What if you hit somebody?! What if a sherif saw?!” You say, obviously still panicking. Tyler decides to pull over.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I was way outta line, but we’re in the middle of nowhere. There’s no cars or tractors around. We’re safe.” His voice is soft. “Just breathe, Darlin’. Just you and me.” He takes your hand, rubbing small circles in it. “I feel bad. I wanted a reaction outta you, but not like this. I never want you to feel unsafe with me.”

“I know.” You were still struggling to breathe. Tyler places your hand on his chest to feel the rise and fall of his breathing. He hopes you can sync yours with his own.

“Take it easy, sweetheart. You’re okay. Feel me breathing? We’re both okay.” He places a kiss to your forehead.

“I’m sorry… it’s not you. When I was in high school I had a crazy ex boyfriend who used to swerve in town just to scare me because he knew I was afraid of car crashes. He almost killed us a couple times, I think. I guess no matter how much time’s passed, dumb high school bullshit still affects me into my adult years.”

“Hey, that’s not okay. It’s not dumb bullshit. It’s trauma.” You lean over the console to be closer to him and he wraps his arms around you. “I would never put you in danger like that for the sake of a joke.” You could tell his blood was boiling on the inside, but he was trying to keep himself calm. He didn’t want to upset you more. He knew this was about you feeling better, not him.

“We gotta get going if we wanna try to make it by 1.” You wipe your tears.

“I don’t care how long we’re pulled over. Hell, we can even turn around if you’re not up to anymore. I don’t care about the chase. I care about you.” He moves your hair out of your face. “I can call the rest of the team and tell them to turn around right now or go without us.”

“What happened to Mr. If You Feel It, Chase It?” You joke, trying to lighten the mood. He looks into your eyes. You don’t know if you’ve ever seen him so serious.

“The only feeling that matters is the one I get when I’m with you.“

Tears start creeping up again. These tears aren’t bad, though.

“Tyler, I’m in love with you.” It just slips out, like the easiest confession you’ve ever made in your life. You both knew there was something there, but neither one of you were willing to say it. It had always been heavy flirting, awkward mornings after cuddling in the only bed left at the motel, a drunk kiss or two.

After a moment of staring in silence Tyler kisses you. Everything happened in slow motion, but in truth it was probably just the adrenaline slowing everything down. Tyler wasted no time in kissing you. It was the quickest decision he’s ever made. You don’t know how long the kiss was. Whatever it was, it wasn’t enough. Nothing would ever be enough. You’d swear off oxygen for the rest of your life if it meant this moment never had to end. You’d been pinning after your best friend for so long and finally the moment was here.

“I’m so glad you said something because you’re one of the best navigators I know and I really didn’t wanna risk losing you from the team by telling you I was in love with you.” Tyler laughs.

“Is that the only reason you didn’t tell me?” You ask.

“No, I was scared. Losing you from the team would be a bummer, but I couldn’t lose you from my life. We see a lot of loss in this business. Whenever I thought about it, the thing I couldn’t stand to lose most was you.” He runs his fingers through your hair, moving to cup your cheek.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

It was nice to finally say it. You’d waited a long time to tell him.

“Let’s get back on the road. This time just don’t stop my heart.” You give a small laugh.

“You’re safe with me.”

“I know. You’re not like those other guys, Ty.”

You hold hands and rest on his other arm as he drives. He’s lucky he’s good at driving with one hand because he’s happy to see about 30 minutes later you’ve finally fallen asleep. Today was going to be a long day, but Tyler knew forcing the team to wake up so early was worth it. He may have had to bribe Boone 20 bucks to drive the other car up with Lily, but at least he didn’t have a third wheel sitting in the back seat. Tyler didn’t get a lot of alone time with you. Now he had 7 hours of it. It was worth it.

[wosoamazing]

Injuries, Confrontations and Apologies

Summary: Your Ma gets hurt but pretends she is fine and ends up in hospital.

Warnings: Concussions, Vomiting, Hospitals, Angst I guess

A/N: This was meant to be a soft comfort fic but somehow it turned into this – I mean I’m not mad. Hopefully you like it.

Last Saturday a bee stung you, it made you feel icky and you had to go to the hospital. The doctors at the hospital gave your Mum’s these weird pen things. The doctors taught your Mum’s how to use them, as well as Steph and Sam for just encase. You were upset about your trip to the hospital, as it meant you had to miss the game but you get to go to the game this week.

You slept almost the whole bus ride, much to everyone’s delight, today was an important game, so with you sleeping it meant everyone could focus on the game. When you did wake up there was only 10 more minutes of the trip left, you decided to go walk down and sit next to Steph, once she realised you were trying to climb into the seat next to her she helped you up, you didn’t make any noise though, you just sat there as you took in the world around you.

In the locker room you sat in your Ma’s cubby as you ate your snacks, everyone kept looking over to you and whispering to your Mum’s that you looked extra cute today.

You were sitting on Leah’s lap, well more so her good leg as you watched the game from the bench, there was around 20 minutes of game time left when your Mum doubled over before she started losing her stomach contents on the pitch.

“Weah,” you said

“mmm” she hummed to let you know she was listening “Ma sick” you informed her pointing “What do you mean?” she asked clearly not looking at the pitch.

“I think if you stopped having a nap and looked at the pitch you would see what she means” Beth joked.

“Oh shit,” Leah said as she looked at the pitch before looking over to Beth and Viv, who just made funny faces you didn’t understand.

“We see Ma? See if okay?” You asked as the medics took her off the pitch.

 “Sure munchkin,” Leah put you down, stood up and was reaching to pick you up, before she was interrupted by Beth “Leah, you can’t carry her yet, it's too risky,” “I’ll be fine beth,”

“No Leah, Beth is right, it isn’t safe, or good for you, we will come with you” Viv said in a sterner tone. Leah huffed as Beth picked you up, before the three women took you to see your Ma.

When you arrived in the medical room your Ma was laying on one of the beds with her eyes closed.

“What happened?” Leah asked without warning, slightly startling your Ma.

“I started feeling a little dizzy and then next thing I knew I was throwing up” she replied.

“So, what you actually mean is that when you got hit in the head and feel backwards onto the pitch hitting your head again, you actually did feel it and really should’ve gone off then, but you wanted to keep playing so you risked your own health” Viv said as though your Ma was in trouble.

You stayed with your Ma until the game finished, you kept yourself entertained with a glove that Beth blew up.

____

When you got home your Mum told you to go play in your playroom for a bit, which you did, she then came in to talk to you. “Ma isn’t feeling too well, but you can see her if you want,” “O-tay, I go now?” “Yeah, you can, but you have to make sure to keep the lights off and be very quiet, and try not to move much, okay?” “O-tay,” you toddled down the hall and into your Mum’s room to see your Ma, while your Mum put some washing on.

“Ma,” you whispered as you walked up her side of the bed, her eyes slowly opened and she did some slow blinks, before she spoke.

“No Y/N, go away,” she said harshly, you quickly spun around as tears started rolling down your cheeks and ran out of the room, crashing into your Mum’s legs as your eyes were full of water and you couldn’t see.

“What’s wrong?” “M-Ma, said go way,” “Oh baby, I’m sorry,” your Mum said as she wiped some of your tears away, but as soon as she could wipe the old ones away new ones replaced them “How bout I put you on the couch and you can watch some frozen while I speak to your Ma.” You perked up at the idea of frozen and quickly nodded your head, your Mum put you down on the sofa and turned frozen on before she quickly filled one of your sippy cups with water and gave it to you. “I’ll be back okay,” you just nodded your head not really listening to her anymore because frozen was playing.

“Why did you tell Y/N to go away, you really upset her,” your Mum questioned your Ma.

“I feel like shit Cait, and I don’t want Y/N to, I don’t know” she huffed.

“I know you feel like shit, but it’s partly your fault, and it doesn’t give you the right to push everyone away who is just trying to help you and it especially doesn’t give you the right to get mad at your daughter and tell her to go away when all she was trying to do was help, I’m going to take y/n to the park, I’ll will be back in a bit, if you need anything please call me, I will come back and help, anything at all, I promise, but Beth and Viv have offered to take her to the park so I’m going to walk her around there,” before your Ma could say anything your Mum had walked out of their bedroom door.

____

“Katie, Babe, I just came back to check everything is alright, Y/N is still at the park with Beth and Viv” Caitlin said as she walked through the door, there was no response, “Katie, Babe,” the house was oddly silent, so she walked further through the house. “Shit, Katie,” Caitlin exclaimed as she rounded the corner to find Katie passed out in the middle of the floor, “Katie, babe, wake up” she shook Katie to wake her up.

“What, oh God,” Katie said as she woke up, she quickly got up off the floor and ran to the toilet before hunching over it, emptying the remains of her stomach’s contents.

“Why didn’t you call? You shouldn’t have gotten up and walked around,” Caitlin wondered what the point in asking that question was. Of course she didn’t call, she doesn’t ask for help and constantly pushes help away when she is offered it.

“Because you were mad,” Katie replied through gags. Shit she thought to herself. Was this her fault?

Katie stopped throwing up but soon passed out again, Caitlin quickly grabbed her phone and called Leah, in which Kim answered.

“Kim, Leah, I need your help. I’ve fucked up but that can be explained later, Katie needs to go to the hospital because I found her passed out and when I woke her up, she ran to the toilet and threw up heaps before she passed out again, but she isn’t going to listen to me, please help.” Caitlin stopped talking while her captains must’ve been talking, “Okay thank-you, I’ll go unlock the door, we’re just in our bathroom. Beth and Viv have Y/N.”

____

Thankfully the girls had been directed to a private waiting room, meaning they didn’t have to worry about fans. 

As Beth and Viv walked into the room Leah and Kim looked at them in confusion, “We called Steph, she called Sam, Y/N is staying at Sam and Kristie’s, we told her it’s just a last-minute sleepover type thing. Steph is on her way here now.” Kim and Leah nodded with slight relief, hoping Steph would be able to talk to Caitlin, and maybe calm her down. She had been pacing the length of the room, wiping away her tears as they fell since they arrived.

Steph arrived and looked at the four women before her gaze moved over to Caitlin, she cautiously approached her and gently put a hand on her shoulder as she softly said, “Hey Cait, can you sit down for me,” Caitlin looked up at her and just about broke, almost collapsing in the chair behind her.

“I’m so stupid, this is all my fault” she blurted out.

“This isn’t your fault, this is her fault, she is the one that played with a concussion and made it worse, she is the one that didn’t ask for help when you told her too,” Steph said as she put her arm around her shoulder and rubbed her hand up and down her arm, trying to comfort her.

“Yeah, but I left her alone, I left her alone after I got mad at her, I left the person who doesn’t take help let alone ask for it alone, with instructions to call the person who just got mad at her for help, what was I thinking she would’ve never called for help anyway let alone after I just got mad at her. I, I can’t believe I was so dumb to think that, I literally left her to fend for herself, what if she had hit her head on something on the way down, she could’ve died, I could’ve killed her, oh god, I can’t believe I just did that, I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have left her alone,” She blurted out, she leant into Steph’s side before continuing, “I was, I was,” she stammered before taking a few deep breaths as she suddenly felt sick “I’m going to be sick” Steph quickly reacted and thankfully as they were in a hospital there was just about sick bags on all the walls, in little dispensers. Steph rubbed her back as she lost some of her stomach contents, before Beth handed her a bottle of water which she took a small sip from. “Can you please lie down for me?” Steph asked, concerned for her friend, Caitlin did as she said and rested her head in Steph’s lap, falling asleep.

_____

Viv was in Katie’s room as she woke up, sitting on a chair at the side of the bed, she started to speak before Katie could. “I’m really disappointed in you, you really need to learn to let people help you, it’s not weak, Caitlin is literally out there in an absolute state, she literally made herself sick because she feels like such a crap person for getting mad at you and leaving you, when in reality she did nothing wrong, she left you with strict instructions to call for help. You do realise if she hadn’t come back when she did we could be in a very different situation. You might not even be here. In all honesty McCabe it’s hard when we try and help you and all you do is push us away, so I can’t even imagine what it is like for Caitlin, I get it you’re mad at the world in these situations, I’ve been there we all have, but you can’t push people away, especially the people in your life who love you the most, Caitlin absolutely adores you and for the most part you two have a great relationship but currently she is out there in shambles because she offers and offers when you need help and you don’t take, I don’t understand it.”

Katie couldn’t reply to that, Viv was right, there was nothing to do or say, other than to apologise to Caitlin who wasn’t there.

After quite a lot of awkward silence Katie spoke “Where’s Y/N?” “She is having a fun sleepover at Kristie’s and Sam’s, that’s all she knows.”

_____

Caitlin walked in hesitantly, her hair was a mess, her cheeks were tearstained, she had big bags under her eyes. Katie started crying, knowing it was her fault her girlfriend was looking this bad. Caitlin walked over to where the chair was sitting next to Katie’s bed, she sat down in it as she took Katie’s hands in hers before taking a deep breath. 

“Katie, I’m sorry I left you alone, I didn’t know it was this bad, if I did I wouldn’t have ever left you alone, no matter how angry I was. But this is why you need to communicate with people, with me Babe. It’s dangerous when you don’t tell us how you are feeling. You could’ve died.” she sighed before continuing “I just don't understand why you won't accept help, needing help isn't a weakness it’s normal. I love you, I want to help you, try and help you feel slightly better. I’m not going to judge you or complain or tell you that you’re overreacting. I just want you to let people help you, at least let me help you, please” she kissed Katie’s hands and let them go. Katie sat up shifting forward in the bed, before she looked longingly up at Caitlin, who realised this was Katie asking for her help, even though she wasn’t using her words, it was a start. Caitlin climbed onto the bed and situated herself behind Katie, placing her legs either side of her before pulling her in towards her, Katie rested her head back to rest in the crock of Caitlin’s neck.

“I’m sorry Cait, I love you,” was all that Katie whispered in her ears before her eyes fluttered shut.

Caitlin awoke to the sound of gagging, she quickly grabbed the sick bowl and placed it in front of Katie before helping her to sit up slightly, Caitlin rubbed her back, as she dry heaved.

“Cait, help” Katie managed to say through gags, she sounded as though she was in tears, Caitlin pressed the call button, “I know babe, it’s not nice, but I’m here, I’ve got you, you’ve got this, you’re going to be okay,” Katie stopped and collapsed back into Caitlin, as they nurse walked in, she spoke to Katie, however her words were more directed too Caitlin “I’ll give you some anti-nausea medication,” she said, before she started sifting through draws, once she found it she put it into Katie’s IV and said, “hopefully that helps but if it doesn’t let us know and we will try and figure something else out.”

“Thank you,” Caitlin said as she smiled at the nurse who was walking out of the room. The pair very quickly fell asleep again, their day had been hectic to say the least, leaving the both of them exhausted. 

It was the third time that night that Katie had woken up dry heaving, the second time it happened she was sent for another MRI to check she didn’t have a brain bleed or a clot, it came back clear, so they gave her antihistamines to see if they did anything, but they apparently didn’t. “Cait, please” Katie cried out.

“I know babe, I wish it would stop too, I wish I could make it stop, but I’m here and I’ll stay here, I love you, it’s okay, I’ve got you, you’re doing great babe,” Caitlin said trying to reassure her girlfriend as she continued to dry heave. Caitlin eventually pressed the Nurse’s call button again as Katie hadn’t stopped, after consulting with a few doctors and specialists they decided to give Katie more anti-nausea medicine even though she had had the maximum amount, thankfully they did the trick and Katie stopped, allowing the pair to sleep through the rest of the night.

_____

You sat on the floor of the living room in your house playing with your toys, as Steph sat on the couch, watching over you, when you heard a familiar car engine pull into the driveway, a few moments later you heard Keys in the door unlocking it as Steph said “That’s your Mum and Ma,”.

As the door opened you tensed up, not knowing what your Ma might say to you, you saw your Ma standing next to your Mum and you ran upstairs into your room.

Your Mum and Steph helped your Ma into her room and got her all sorted before Steph left, telling them to call her if they needed anything. Your Mum told your Ma she was just going to check on you quickly and then she would be back.

Your Mum opened your door and saw your sobbing body splayed out on your bed, she picked you up. You tried to fight her hold but she just tightened her grip causing you to give in.

“Ma doesn’t want me,” you sadly say.

 “Oh Monkey, that’s not true, your Ma was feeling very icky and that made her mad,” she said wiping the hair out of your face.

“Like it always does?” you question, your Ma had never been so mad when she was icky that she made you go away.

“Yeah but extra mad. But we have talked and she is going to try and not get so made when she is icky. Do you want to see her? I think she would like to see you,” you nodded hesitantly and you were carried into their room. The light was very dim in there, but your Ma could still see your red tear stained cheeks and your puffy eyes, and she felt very angry with herself.

“I’m super sorry Munchkin, I shouldn't have yelled at you to go away, you were only trying to see if I was okay,” she said as your Mum put you down on the bed, you didn't reply to her, but instead crawled over to her and curled into her side, falling asleep almost immediately. Your Ma was confused by you falling asleep so quickly, and furrowed her brows at your Mum who answered her.

“Sam messaged me this morning, said she didn’t sleep very well last night, go to sleep I might too, but let me know if you need anything please.”

“I love you, Cait, thank you, for everything,” Your Ma said, before your Mum leant over to place a quick kiss on her lips. They both quickly joined you in sleep.

[wenigstenshabeichesversucht]

Nobody’s son, nobody’s daughter

Pairing: Luke Castellan x Poseidon!Reader

Summary: You loved him, and you left him, years later you met again, now hunter and pray.

Warnings: hurt, self-fulfilling prophecies, Lovers to Enemies, english is not my native language

Word Count: 1k

(i. You’re in the wind, I’m in the water)

Prophecies had a funny way to become true. The more you did to prevent them, the more you helped to fulfill them. Asked Laius, King of Thebes. He gave away his son Oedipus because it was prophesied that his son would kill him. At the end Oedipus killed Laius because he didn’t know that the King was his father. Not to mention that Oedipus, after killing Laius, married his own mother, hence it’s called Oedipus complex, if someone is interested in one of his parents. All of this could have been prevented if Laius had not tried to stop the prophecy. You had thought that would be enough for everyone to learn the lesson about self-fulfilling prophecies and trying to meddle with fate.

But that was before you learned about the Great Prophecy given by the Oracle over seventy years ago. A prophecy which was hanging over you like a sword of Damocles since you had arrived at camp and your father had claimed you.

The prophecy in question said, that a kid of one of the big three, had to save or damn the Olympus at the sweet age of sixteen. Right now, you were the only known child of one of the big three. A few years back, there had been another child, Thalia, daughter of Zeus, but she died on the border of Camp Half-Blood. Now the responsibility felt solely on your shoulders, and you hated it. Some days you would love nothing more than to scream at your father, Poseidon. But you were already cursed enough, you didn’t want to draw his wrath onto yourself. You just wanted peace. You just wanted to turn sixteen without having to save Olympus. Was that too much to ask for? It seemed so.

“Sometimes I hate everything about being a half blood”, you told your boyfriend Luke Castellan, son of Hermes, as you two were sitting at the beach, watching the waves hitting the shore. The sun was slowly setting, painting the clouds about your heads in a mix of orange and pink. He was sitting behind you with his arms around you and his chin was resting on your shoulder. He was the golden boy of the camp, and you were glad, that he had found interest in you. You, who had been cursed with this prophecy. The fate of the world was resting on your shoulders and that didn’t make you easier to love. But he loved you and was possibly the only reason you hadn't freaked out from sheer fear yet. Fear about what was to come, fear about messing it all up.

“It's not fair what everyone expects from you, but you are handling it so well, love”, he whispered in your ears and feeling his hot breath on your skin, you closed your eyes. If you could, you would stay at this moment forever. The soft rushing of the waves in the air, his warm hands on your body, the peace of your mind.

“I love you”, turning in his embrace, you gazed into his beautiful brown eyes. You loved him more than you could ever put into words. You loved to watch him comfort the younger kids, flying through air with his winged shoes or sword fighting in the area.

“I love you more, and I will always stay by your side”, he promised, before connecting his lips with yours.

Later, you would realize, that this promise was meant to be broken, like all promises.

Luke broke his promise, that he would always stay by your side, in the cruelest way possible. Your sixteen’s birthday was less than two weeks away, when he got a quest from his father. He could have taken you with him, but in the end he didn't. He left you back at camp, according to him, for your own protection. He left you when you needed him the most.

Your dreadful birthday came closer and closer, and you couldn’t take it. In the end your angst was stronger than your love for him, and you did the only thing you could think of to prevent the prophecy. You left camp and Luke behind and joined the Hunters of Artemis to stop aging.

(ii. Nobody’s son, nobody’s daughter)

Years later you met again. Everything had changed except your appearance. You looked frozen in time, still like the girl that he left behind at camp all those years ago. But everything else had changed.

He was older, a gruesome scar adored his face and, in his eyes, laid no more kindness. He was no longer Hermes son; he was a traitor. You were no longer Poseidon’s daughter; you were a huntress. You were no longer lovers; you were the hunter, and he was your prey.

Putting an arrow in your bow, you took aim. But something was holding you back, you couldn’t shoot.

“Y/N!”, finally he took notice of you. Years ago, there was love in his voice, when he addressed you, now there was only pain. He had hurt you, and you had hurt him, that was the way things went. And now you would kill him for his treason.

Letting go of the arrow, it pierced through the air, the feathers were caressing his face, before the arrow embedded itself in the trunk next to Luke's head. Both of you knew, that if you really had wanted to kill him, he would have been dead. But in the pit of your stomach was something that felt like regret. Something that stopped you from piercing his forehead with your arrow.

He left you first, but he returned. You never returned. He returned from a failed quest to find out his girlfriend left him, to join the maiden hunt. That wasn’t an excuse to swear an oath to Kronos, but by wanting to prevent the prophecy you pushed Luke in the wrong direction. Now it was the job of your younger half brother to safe Olympus, he was the kid of the prophecy, thanks to you.

“The next time I see you, I will kill you”, your stern voice left no room for doubt. You wouldn’t miss your next shot.

“Run!”, you didn't have to tell Luke twice. Like a hare fleeing from a wolf, he ran away. It hurt to see him running away instead towards you. Maybe that would help to finally learn your lesson about self-fulfilling prophecies.

[eunseoksimp]

https://www.tumblr.com/eunseoksimp/744285282149498880/hiii-i-love-your-fics-your-writing-hurts-good

Hiii! It could be a part 2 if you want to write this but it doesn't matter <333 whatever you do it'll be nice 👌

i’m so sorry this took so long anon, i was so busy last week but i hope you enjoy <3

Pairings: jung sungchan x reader

Warnings: swearing, unprotected sex (don’t do it kids), breeding kink

a/n: read part one to understand this a bit more :

can’t come over tonight. team dinner.

you frowned, staring at your screen, rereading the message and willing it to change to something that you actually wanted to see.

sungchan, saying no to a session with you?

it was practically unheard of.

you had noticed how over the past two weeks he had started to feel a little more distant. not by choice of course.

the summer basketball tournament was around the corner, and being captain of the team, he was more preoccupied than usual.

but you just didn’t get it.

why did your heart ache whenever he kissed your knuckles and told you he had to leave early?

why did you feel funny whenever you had to watch him leave. was the sex getting too good?

ever since that night, the day he edged you to no end, forcing you to tell him that you loved him, things were not the same.

he fucked you until you were seeing stars, till you were writhing in his grip, gasping for air as you begged him.

‘please. i can’t,’ you told him, but he just shook his head, licking his lips.

‘of course you can. you’re my good girl.’

he flipped you on your back and thrust into you so harshly that you had to bury your head in your pillow to stop yourself from screaming out.

your legs were already giving out, throat hoarse, but he just kept going and going.

he pounds into you like he hates you, hand wrapped around your throat as he lifts you up to rest your back on him.

‘no more?’ he asked, three orgasms later.

you weren’t even able to focus on the words leaving his lips, tears spilling down your cheeks as you shut your eyes.

sungchan had fucked you stupid.

he had always been amazing in bed, one of the few men who actually cared about you cumming too.

but this was on another level.

you felt so emotional in the moment, the salty liquid pricking your eyes as you took a shaky hand to hold onto his.

‘thank you,’ you said, your voice trembling, barely able to get any words out.

‘look at my angel being so polite. you’re welcome baby,’ he leaned down, his larger arms engulfing you as he pressed a kiss on your forehead.

using his thumb to wipe the drops of tears on your cheek, he sat back, admiring you.

how fucked out you looked, hair sticking to your forehead, skin flushed and lips glossy.

your bedsheets were completely ruined, wet spots sprayed all around the fabric.

‘you’re so pretty. wish i could photograph you right now,’ he murmured against your skin, and you hummed, loving the feeling of how close he was now.

when he moved, you whined, desperate to pull him back and he chuckled.

‘i need to get you all cleaned up angel. i can’t leave you like this.’

he retreated into the bathroom, and you lay on your back, still trying to recover from what had just happened.

your chest felt all warm as you watched him use a towel to clean you up, something he always did for you.

it was different now though, it just felt so tender, even more so because you were too weak to do anything by yourself and he pampered you.

he displayed his strength, easily picking you up and taking you to the bathroom, where you saw he had already run you a bath, using your favourite scents.

he let you soak in the warm water, sighing as you felt your body relax a bit, all whilst he busied himself changing your sheets and getting you a new change of clothes.

even when you were done he dried you off, doing your nighttime routine for you.

he was so patient, lathering the different serums onto your skin, moisturising your skin with the correct creams.

and then he tucked you in, pulling your fresh covers up to your chest, making sure you were comfortable.

‘stay with me,’ you pleaded when he turned to leave, and you could see the initial look of shock on his face before he broke out into a grin.

‘as you wish princess,’ he settled into the space into you, drawing you near and wrapping his arms around you, playing with your hair till you fell asleep.

you were unable to describe that night with words, but you knew that it had changed things.

you had always treated sungchan as nothing more than a fuck buddy, someone there simply to satisfy your needs.

but you began to feel a pit of fire burn within you, craving for something else, and it scared you.

it was all becoming too confusing, and you started to rule it as becoming too attached to the sex.

and you didn’t need sungchan to get off, anybody would do.

so you immediately texted eunseok, who was more than happy to show up at your door not even 20 minutes later.

he wasn’t as gentle as sungchan was, everything with him rough and messy, but you liked it like that.

at least you thought you did.

‘fuck, you’re squeezing me too tight love. i might cum soon,’ he says through gritted teeth, head thrown back as he mustered up as much self control as possible.

you, on the other hand, were nowhere near your climax. eunseok’s brutal pace and manhandling often left you gasping for air, quick to reach your orgasm.

but now you lay underneath him, peering up at him with wide eyes as you wondered what the problem could be.

all you could think about was sungchan. and it was starting to disturb you.

why was he starting to occupy such a large space of your mind?

why was it that for the first time eunseok didn’t make you cum.

why did you want him to be the one on top of you?

you couldn’t sleep anymore, your eyes straining in the dark as you typed away on your computer, hoping to find some answers.

oxytocin. also known as the love hormone, the thing responsible for promoting feelings of attachment and bonding.

that had to be it.

it wasn’t that your feelings for sungchan had changed.

he had just fucked you so good that you were confused for a second.

there was no way someone like you could come close to having romantic feelings for someone else.

you couldn’t.

your perception of love was extremely skewed, only having your parents relationship as a model.

your dad was horrible to your mother, abusing her, belittling her.

he had left your life a long time ago, building a new life with the woman who had destroyed your family.

you watched as the state of your mother decayed, and she became nothing more than a lifeless being, teary eyed and unable to enjoy life anymore.

‘i will never get myself to that point,’ you made a silent promise, refusing to let men get too close to you.

sex. that was all they were good for.

so life continued on as usual for you. soon you became so busy with assignments and work to even think about anything else.

from classes, to meetings with academic advisors, straight to 6 hour shifts.

it was beginning to take a toll on you, both mentally and physically.

it didn’t even surprise you when you woke up two weeks later with a splitting headache, drenched in your own sweat.

scrambling for your phone, you called off sick before flopping back onto your bed.

the wise thing to do would be to ask for some help, to let any of your friends to take care of you, but you hated making people worried.

so even though your head was pounding like a drum, and the air became hot and stuffy, with a struggle to breathe, you told yourself to deal with it on your own.

attempts to get up and make food failed, as you couldn’t even make it past the bedroom door before feeling like passing out, let alone standing in the kitchen to make a meal.

you lay helplessly, watching as the day passed by before your very eyes, a half opened bottle of water the only substance that had entered your body.

it was evening at this point, and just as you decided to stop being stubborn and cal someone, your phone rang.

‘hello?’

‘hey, i just finished my game. we won of course,’ sungchan sounded so excited and you rolled your eyes.

‘did you call me to brag or something,’ a cough escaped your lips, your throat feeling scratchy.

‘no i called because i wanted to see you. are you alright, you sound sick?’

‘i am sick, i must have-‘

‘i’m on my way, be there in 30,’ and then he cut the phone.

sighing, you debated whether you should stay under the covers and continue to burn up, or go without them and freeze.

there was no reason for sungchan to come over. you were in no shape to have sex with anyone, so why else would he come and see you?

you didn’t realise how much time you spent thinking until the bell rung.

desperately wishing you didn’t have to move, it was the continuous ringing followed by some haste knocking that made you get up.

shuffling toward the door, it took the entirety of your strength to not topple over.

holding yourself up by the door handle, pushing it open, you felt the cool air tickling your damp skin and it gave you a sense of relief.

however your face turned into one of shock when you saw who was on the other side.

‘what do you want?’

sungchan said nothing as he pushed past you to get inside and you didn’t have the strength to stop him.

‘how's your temperature? any headaches? have you eaten? what about fluids? you have to make sure you're drinking plenty of water.’

‘calm down meredith grey, someone would think you had a medical degree or something.’

"please just answer the question,’ he pleaded and your eyes narrowed at him.

‘i can’t have sex with you, i do hope you know that.’

‘of course you can’t, you’re sick,’ he looked offended, as if the fact you thought that was on his mind, made him upset.

‘so there’s no need for you to be here anymore. you can see yourself out please,’ you pointed towards the door, already ready to head back to your bed.

‘but-‘

‘just leave me alone,’ your voice startles him as he puts the bag full of ingredients and medicine down.

‘you can feel however you want to feel about me but let me take care of you first.’

‘why are you trying so hard to stay over? what do you want from me?’

‘there’s nothing i want other than for you to be okay. stop being stubborn.’

sungchan i-" but you couldn't finish your sentence, clutching on to the edge of the countertop, head reeling.

he rushes to your side, helping you stand up and it's only then that he can feel how warm your body is.

"you need to lie down. may i?" he asks for permission before carrying you and placing you very carefully on your bed.

he brought a hand up to your forehead, burning under his palm.

"i'll be back," he said before retreating to the kitchen, and you had no strength to argue with him any further.

he rummaged around looking for a bowl, filling it with both hot and cold water and looking for a cloth before returning back to your side.

kneeling down, he soaked the cloth before using it on your exposed skin.

‘i'm making some chicken noodle soup, you can use some medicine after.’

‘thanks.’

true to his words, sungchan spent the whole evening looking after you at your beck and call.

slowly, you were starting to accepting his help, letting him spoon feed you the soup he made, or changing the bowl of water to press onto your skin.

‘how are you feeling now?’ he was massaging your aching body, his fingers traveling down your frame cautiously, almost like he was too scared to touch you, as if it was his first time.

the contrast of his cool hands on your warm skin gave some kind of relief as you closed your eyes and sighed.

‘a little better.’

"that's good."

in no time you felt your eyes fluttering shut, struggling to keep them open.

‘you can fall asleep, there's no need to force yourself to stay awake. i'm right here.’

his voice was so comforting that you felt yourself eventually succumb to your slumber.

and when you woke up in the middle of your nap, sungchan was sleeping at an awkward angle by your body, arms reaching out to you.

sitting up slightly, you moved his head into your lap and started playing with his hair.

even in his sleep he looks perfect.

his eyelashes were so long and curly, eyebrows furrowed as his pink lips slightly parted.

your fingers traced his features and you silently admired his sleeping form.

‘what am i even doing?’

you retract your hand, feeling the urge to pee.

you attempted to get up to go to the toilet in a way that wouldn’t wake him up, but you ended up hitting your leg and cursing out loud.

sungchan jolts up at the noise, ‘what happened? are you okay?’ he reaches out for you.

‘i just wanted to go to the bathroom,’ it was embarrassing, your skin flushing as you coughed and looked away.

‘come here,’ he pulls you closer, arms wrapped around your waist and lifting you off the ground to the bathroom.

‘thanks,’ you mumble as he sets you down, still too shy to look him in the eye.

when you finish your business, sungchan is right outside the door, leaning on the opposite wall.

"how's the fever? is it still bad?" he asked.

"not as bad as before."

his palm came up to your cheek, feeling your temperature, ‘you're still a bit warm love.’

he was too busy trying to take care of you that he didn't notice the tint of pink that painted your cheeks at the name used.

for a moment you both locked eyes, your heart fluttering at the deep concern shown in his eyes.

did he really care about you?

‘do you want to watch something?’ he proposed, and you nodded your head, hoping that something would ease the butterflies running rampant in your stomach.

but just as you expected, you couldn’t focus on the show.

‘can i ask you something?’ you spoke up after almost half an hour of mostly silence.

‘of course you can love.’

‘why do you keep saying you like me? for the sex?’ the question gnawed at your brain.

he knew from the beginning he wasn’t getting anything out of staying here with you, so why was he bothering?

‘i mean the sex is great, but that doesn’t even make up for 10% of the reason i like you,’ he confessed, and your eyes widened, peering up at him.

there was no way what he was saying was true.

he was blinded by lust, that had to be it.

‘i could write poems about you, dedicate whole books to you.’

‘don’t lie to me.’

‘why is it so hard for you to believe that i like you?’ he tapped your chin, forcing you to make eye contact with him.

‘i find it so hard to suppress the affection i have for you, it consumes me. my feelings for you transcend the boundaries of rationality, defying all sensible objections and societal expectations.’

‘i know you won’t like me back, but i have struggled so hard to quell my emotions and it’s impossible. i’m in love with you,’ his eyes flickered down to your lips, but he quickly pulled away.

you couldn’t say anything, frozen in shock. somebody liking you for who you were, despite how mean you were? not for your body, or your looks?’

did you even deserve that?

long after sungchan had left you contemplated in bed, tossing and turning as his words circulated your mind.

you felt much better in the morning, courtesy of sungchan, but you didn’t feel at ease.

it was hard to decipher the weird way you felt nervous just thinking about him.

someone who had taken such good care of you, but demanded nothing in return.

you had to see him tonight.

so when night fell, you immediately grabbed for your phone and texted him.

i need you.

he’s over as soon as possible, not even thirty minutes after you sent the text.

‘how are you feeling pretty?’ his hands come to rest on your face, his thumb stroking your cheek.

‘sungchan. please, i need you,’ your eyes were closed, breath laboured as you leaned into his touch.

it felt like everything was intensified, one bit of contact with your skin and you felt yourself burning up.

‘you know i’ve got you angel,’ he kisses you on the forehead before lifting you up, carrying you to your room.

he laid you down so gently, his hand coming underneath the back of your head.

he hovered over you, watching your facial expressions, trying to understand what was happening.

everything was typical to all of sungchan’s previous visits. except the look in your eyes.

you didn’t snap at him to hurry up because you were getting impatient. you didn’t pounce on him as soon as you opened the door, barely leaving any room for any conversation.

you looked up at him expectantly, eyes filled with an emotion he’d never seen from you before.

it made his heart thump in his chest, the sight of your thighs pressing together, bottom lip tucked between your teeth.

and you still didn’t say a word. this wasn’t like you.

his palm found solace in the dip of your waist, lips attaching themselves to your neck as your fingertips grazed the hair on the back of his neck.

everything felt so intimate, like it was in slow motion, no rush to tug each others clothes off.

you sighed, eyes fluttering shut as you tilted your neck a little more to give sungchan access.

‘you look so pretty,’ he pulls back, admiring the marks on your neck, his marks.

the smile on your face was genuine, a blush settling on your cheeks as you looked up at him.

‘thank you.’

‘you’re welcome baby. let me make my pretty girl feel good.’

his words travelled straight down to your core, clenching over nothing as you reached for his hand.

‘make love to me.’

something inside of sungchan stirred as he heard those words, a new found determination to make this the best sex you would ever experience.

he wouldn’t stop until you begged him to, a soaking mess underneath him. he was less concerned with his own release, focusing only on your pleasure.

the world around you was starting to blur together, eyes terribly unfocused as the only sensation you could feel is the way sungchan’s cock dragged against your walls.

you had lost count of how many orgasms it had been now, desperately clinging onto sungchan so his chest was flush against yours.

overwhelmed by the pleasure you grabbed him by the chin, and for the first time since the both of you had started hooking up, you were the one that kissed him.

it was fervent and sloppy, with a great sense of urgency, as if the both of you would die without it.

you moan into his mouth when you feel him rubbing small circles on your clit, back arching as you could barely keep your eyes open.

‘fuck sungchan, it feels so good,’ you whine as your body instinctively starts to push away from him.

‘i know baby, i know. you’re being such a good girl for me, just one more i promise,’ he was over the moon, feeling like this was the first time there was real love and passion between the two of you.

he was drunk on this feeling, not wanting it to end so soon. he didn’t want you to go back to your cold self, mercilessly kicking him out of your room once you were both done.

he wished it could last forever, him permanently nestled inside of you for the rest of his life.

but he had been practicing great restraint with the way you were constantly squeezing around him, and the kiss you had given him meant he wasn’t going to last much longer.

he picked up the pace, lifting your legs up as he entered you from a new angle, loving the way you didn’t hold back your moans anymore, chanting his name.

‘sungchan fuck, i’m about to cum,’ your head was clouded, fingers shaking as your reached up into his hair and pulling it.

your legs were shaking, the feeling of every ridge of his cock becoming all too much.

‘let it out for me baby, i’m right here. cum for me angel.’

his words gave you that final push, the coil in your stomach snapping, your orgasm washing over you so intensely that your head falls back, pussy clenching around him so violently.

he fucks you through your orgasm, calling you a good girl as he brings a kiss to both of your thighs.

‘almost there angel,’ sungchan grunts, knowing he wasn’t going to last much longer.

your pussy still fluttered around him, so warm and tight, and he knew it was only a matter of seconds before he came.

he was preparing himself to pull out, until he felt your legs hook around his waist, arms coming around his neck, as your forehead rest against his.

‘fuck angel, i-i’m about to cum, i need to-‘

‘cum inside of me. please, i need it,’ you begged.

‘fuck,’ sungchan groaned, trying his hardest to stay rational, shaking his head.

‘you’re- fuck- it’s ovulation week i-‘

‘please fill me up, want it all inside of me baby,’ your words were not making it easy for him, and sungchan feared it was almost getting too late.

‘cum inside of your pussy, it’s all yours. don’t care if we have babies,’ you’re babbling at this point, drool pooling by the side of your mouth, nails digging into his shoulder blade as you use your legs to trap him.

‘oh baby, you want to have my babies that badly, don’t you?’

‘yes, fucking breed me, empty it all inside of me. i’m your good girl i can take it,’ your babbles send him over the edge, flooding you with his cum.

you milk his cock dry, practically stuffed as more and more seems to gush out.

for a while he’s frozen, watching the way most of his cum drips out of you, and he’s not sure words would be able to describe how it’s making him feel.

‘thank you,’ your throat was hoarse, and you spoke barely above a whisper but he still heard you.

you drew him nearer, kissing him gently, hands playing with the tufts of his hair.

he didn’t know how to interpret what had just happened between the two of you.

was it just because you were ovulating? you had never held him so tightly before, initiating kisses, asking him to cum inside.

he wasn’t the only person you were with, so it was a mutual agreement that he would either use a condom or pull out, and you both obeyed those rules.

so what changed?

his mind was preoccupied with these thoughts, even as he cleaned you up, helping you wear a fresh pair of clothes.

he waited for your next move, expectant of you to tell him you had fun before not so kindly sending him on his way.

but you didn’t. instead you watched him put his clothes back on, playing with your fingers as you sat up in bed.

‘stay with me tonight?’ he could tell you were nervous to ask him, and he tried not to appear to excited as he nodded.

slipping into the space next to him, you were the one to wrap yourself around him first, legs going around his stomach.

what were you up to?

it was silent, the only source of noise being the tick of the clock that hung on your wall.

‘i’ve been thinking sungchan,’ you broke the silence, and he turned his head to look at you.

‘what’s on your mind?’

‘i fucking hated the idea of relationships. it felt like it was the beginning of me setting myself up to be hurt. i gave up hope on being with someone a long time ago.’

‘i thought it would be hard for someone- for someone to like me for me, you know,’ there was a lump in your throat, and you felt sungchan rub circles on your back.

‘i’ve felt empty for so long, i guess i thought sex would be enough to fill that gap, but i was wrong.’

you took a deep breathe, unsure of how to say what you wanted to say.

‘so, let’s do it.’

‘do what my love?’

‘the um- relationship thing. let’s try,’ a part of you expected him to laugh, to take back the words he told you three days ago.

sungchan wasn’t saying anything, and you were starting to feel a bit nauseous, looking up at his face but frowning at what you saw.

‘are you crying?’ even in the dimly lit room it was easy to see the trails of tears sliding down his cheeks.

it made a few tears slip down your cheeks too, grateful that somebody could even like you this much.

‘that’s all i’ve wanted to hear from you, since the first time i met you actually.’

‘i promise i’ll never make you cry again. unless i’m fucking you too good of course,’ you smack his thigh at his little joke, but he doesn’t even mind it.

the girl of his dreams was finally his.

‘thank you for letting me love you.’

‘thank you, for loving me.’

[daengtokki]

𝐼'𝓂 𝓈𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈𝓃'𝓉 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒

Kim Seungmin/female reader

wc: 3.1k

synopsis: someone is cheating // pt 2

rating: angst/sort of fluff ꩜ -`♡´-

⤜ · · ♡ · · →

Now Seungmin remembers just how lonely he can get

The dorm is silent. It’s late and everyone is asleep, but he didn’t realize just how late it had gotten until he closed the door a little too loudly. He drops his bags and pulls off his clothes as he makes his way to the bed, tossing them and leaving a trail as he goes. Typically, he throws them right into his hamper, or folds them neatly on his chair, but tidyness is far from his mind right now—almost everything is.

But still, his mind is racing. It’s spinning and it’s aching, and his heart is, too. He feels outside of his own body as he replays the last hour in his head, and he just wants to wake up from this nightmare.

Seungmin crashes onto the bed. He hasn’t been here in a few weeks, at least not to sleep, and the bed feels all wrong. The thought of being here, and not where he’s supposed to be breaks him, and his breath catches in his throat as he desperately holds everything back. But it’s too much, and he has to cry. Silently, though—that much he can do. He turns and pushes his face into the pillow and lets go.

A text comes through, and the first thought that runs through his head—it’s you, it has to be. Pleading for forgiveness, and throwing I love you’s in every direction. It’s not until he looks at the screen that he remembers the shattered remains he left on the floor. But you have other ways; your laptop, mainly. If you really wanted to, you could reach him right now with no trouble.

This text is from Jeongin.

min is that you? I didn’t think you’d be here. Everything okay?

As quiet as he was, that was all kind of ruined when he had to blow his nose and breath properly again. And there’s something about a post-cry nose blow that’s just…obvious.

yeah I’m okay

Everything will come out in the morning anyway.

If you say so…we can have a drink and watch something if you want to talk

Jeongin isn’t just perceptive; he knows Seungmin well, and he knows when something is off.

we can talk tomorrow, I should sleep

Seungmin has no hope of sleep tonight.

· · ♡ · ·

The broken phone at your feet blinks pathetically, trying with everything it has to hold on and buzz a text message in. You don’t care, though. You don’t need your phone if Seungmin isn’t texting, or calling, and only realizing that now is your problem. You got complacent—apathetic over the months you’ve been with him. Unbelievably stupid. You’ve ruined the best thing that ever walked into your life. All you can think of now is every word you want and need to say to him, but you can’t.

No, you can. Your laptop is right there, on the coffee table. If anything, you can gather and organize your thoughts, because you can't imagine him wanting to hear from you tonight. Getting him back might be impossible, but this still feels necessary. Sending it off in an email is something morning you will decide on.

Minnie, I’m sorry it’s come this—I’m sorry you have to feel the way you do right now, and I need you to know how much it kills me that you’re hurting. I’m sorry that I’ve done so poorly as your person, something I should be better at by now, that I have to write to you this way just hoping you’ll read it. I’ve failed you, because I should have been stronger, and I should have been there for you when you needed me the most. Not stronger, no, just better…more perceptive and more understanding. I do know how lonely it gets for you, because you have mentioned it before, but I’ve been so selfish for so long. Getting to be yours for the last 2 years has been a dream. I never thought someone as sweet, and funny, and loving, and as beautiful as you would ever come into my life. I won’t try to explain my actions, because there is no explanation. I don’t deserve you, or your forgiveness. I broke your trust. I broke everything. I felt entitled to fix my loneliness when you were suffering with it, too. But you didn’t hurt me. You’ve never hurt me. I want you to know that I love you, though. I love you more than anything. You are irreplaceable and I will suffer without you, because I should.

Three, four times you read through it before deciding to hit send. It can’t wait until you decide to wake up in the morning, because sleeping tonight will be difficult—but crying is exhausting. You doze off for an hour, then jump out of it abruptly for no reason. Panic takes over, and your heart feels like it might explode as you orient yourself in a tangle of sheets. Seungmin isn’t here, and it takes a moment to remember why.

You smack the keyboard of your laptop until it wakes up, and the new email at the top of the pile makes the panic even worse.

RE: (no subject)

Twelve minutes ago.

You click it and brace yourself for more heartbreak; more difficult truth. An end.

· · ♡ · ·

Seungmin does decide to get up and get a soju, but he does it alone. He needs something to help him relax; numb things a little, and make his eyes a little heavier. The time between is spent looking through old messages between him and you, which is not making things better, but Seungmin wants to figure out where things went wrong. He gets as far back as four months of texts when a notification pops up on his phone.

You did exactly what I thought you would, he mumbles to himself. It’s an email, no subject. Before the little banner disappears, he opens it, and he devours every word far too quickly. Seungmin’s heart races and his stomach swirls as he scans each paragraph, and then he immediately goes back and starts again, slowly.

Now he has something more to dwell on. He gets up and heads to the kitchen for another drink, and when he returns, he just starts typing:

I love you, too. Before I say anything else, I want you to know that. I keep reading your email over and over as I type, because my head is a mess and I can’t focus much right now, but your words ground me. They always have. It’s been a while since you’ve given me a hand written letter, and this, of all things, made me miss that. You have a way with words that I just can’t seem to replicate. I’m hurting like I don’t remember ever hurting before. I feel opened up and ripped apart. I feel like I’m not enough, or I wasn’t enough. I was scared of a relationship because of this, I guess. Being away, not being enough, because I know I’m bad at expressing myself sometimes. Most of the time. Not being with you much makes it even harder. So I feel at fault, too. I need to own up to not always being there when you need me, even though it came with our type of relationship. I’m sorry it’s so hard for us to talk like this face to face…or for me to, I guess. I didn’t give you a chance.

· · ♡ · ·

That’s it.

You’re relieved, but you’re not sure if you should reply again. Leaving it at this until morning might be the best option. But what happens in the morning? Does Seungmin come back home? Will he reply if you email him again? Maybe he’ll sleep in late, leave again, leave you waiting for a message just like you did to him. You think back to the last time he was home, and how you weren’t even here because you ignored his text. Not just ignored, but didn’t even look at it to see that he was waiting and wondering why you weren’t there to greet him.

It feels like your heart is being squeezed just imagining his confused face. And then your mind moves to him…the other one, and it makes you sick thinking of him now. It should have done that before. Irreplaceable is exactly what Seungmin is, that was no exaggeration.

Luckily, you fall asleep with his words in your head; the I love you, the possibility of another chance. And your guilt, still, of making him think he hasn’t been enough.

· · ·

There’s hardly a chance to think of replying to Seungmin. You don’t sleep long, because once you’re awake, you’re awake. Showered, dressed, coffee slowly dripping in the glass caraffe. You prep enough in the hopes that he’ll have some, too, but that’s mostly wishful thinking—a desperate attempt at a manifestation.

A reply has been rolling around in your head since last night, and it formed into a solid set of paragraphs as you took your time in the shower, now you just have to sit and hope it comes out just as well. And you do open his email, but instead of typing, you grab a pencil and a piece of stationary from the desk—stationary you bought just for his letters. You haven’t touched them in at least a year.

It actually comes out easier this time.

Seungmin,

Might as well start properly.

You’ve always been enough. I see you struggle every day with balancing your work and your regular life…me, us. I don’t know what that’s like—

The sound of keys makes you stop. The slide of metal against metal as it’s pushed in and turned; every bit of it is so, so loud. You look again at the broken phone on the floor, not forgotten, but not even deserving of a place in the trash can. You couldn’t bring yourself to touch it.

When you look back at him, the first thing he does is find you, and then he looks to the aftermath of his out of character temper. Then back at you.

You set the pencil down and stand, but you don’t take a step toward him. Every part of you screams to be closer, though.

“Hi,” he takes a few steps inside, kicks off his shoes next to yours. “Morning.”

It’s nearly noon, but you can pretend you didn’t stay up and sleep in late. You haven’t had coffee yet, anyway, so that’s what you do—you force yourself to the kitchen and pour a mug, and then you pour the rest over ice for him.

He watches, but looks at what you were working on as he gets closer to the coffee table. You don’t say anything when he picks up the piece of paper and reads it, rereads it. “I got you something,” he says as he places it back on the table.

“Uhm…you did?”

Why would he do that? You don’t feel like you deserve his gifts at the best of times, so you certainly don’t want anything now.

Seungmin digs in the shopping bag and pulls out a little white box, opens it, and then hands you your new phone.

“I was out of line last night, when I…” he looks at it on the floor again, “I’m sorry.”

“No, Minnie…you weren’t, at all”

“You didn’t deserve my anger”

“I did, I needed it. I want it. Please don’t be nice to me.”

“Okay, if you really mean that…” He walks over slowly and picks up his glass, takes a long sip... “I’ve never felt so angry at you before. I didn’t think I could feel like that, honestly. And I was still holding back.”

“I could tell. Part of me wanted you to let go.”

“Let go, let go how? I could never hurt you.” His touch is a relief—the gentle slide of his thumb across your skin, his hand closing softly around your neck. A much different touch than last night. “Phone, yeah. Him, maybe.”

“That person is gone”

“Did it help…did he help? Were you less lonely with him?”

Thinking about it isn’t really necessary, but you take a long moment to look at Seungmin—his eyes are big and wet, and they’re puffy from not getting enough sleep, or crying. Most likely both, though you can only remember seeing Seungmin cry once in the time you’ve known him. And it wasn’t over you.

“No, I wasn’t. I think it was making me feel worse.”

“I’m irreplaceable, right?”

The tease in his voice is obvious, and his little laugh breaks every bit of tension in the room. You need to pull him in and kiss him, but whether or not you’re there yet is still a mystery. Instead, you shift slightly closer.

“Yes, you are”

He smiles. You’ve seen him smile like that before, and it’s always when he’s in a certain mood. Seungmin sets his glass down and takes yours from you.

“Seungmin”

The desperate whine just makes him smirk.

“Please, Minnie…I need you, so much”

“I know you do, I know.” But he grabs your wrists and stops you as you move toward his hips. “You have me. And I need something to.”

“Of course, anything”

“Can you finish your letter?”

· · ·

Seungmin is never fast in the shower, especially not after he’s been away for so long. There’s no need for him to rush around now—he knows he has plenty of time, and plenty of hot water no matter how long he takes. Typically, you leave him alone when he’s in there, despite the occasional urge to go in.

But this time, of all times, you decide to act on that urge.

There he is, behind the glass partition. Steam chokes the air, and condensation keeps his body mostly hidden from you, but he’s tall enough that you do get a peak—back turned, head twisted to the side so the water can beat down on his neck and shoulders. He rolls them, groans with relief, and sighs. It makes you dizzy.

Then he finally opens his eyes and sees you staring at him. He smiles so wide, with all of his teeth, and it’s the most beautiful sight. It’s as if nothing bad has happened, and nothing is slowly tearing the two of you apart.

“I think I’m finally losing hot water,” he muses, mostly to himself, but he doesn’t turn it off. What he does do is turn to you and fold his arms over the partition. He’s just tall enough. “Hi, do you have something for me?”

You nod, shyly, and you don’t know why. The way he’s looking at you seems brand new, and it feels so intense.

“Seungmin…” you start, paper clutched in one hand. You don’t think you even need to read from it now.

He doesn’t interrupt, but he nods and gives you another little smile.

“You’ve always been enough. I see you struggle every day with balancing your work and your regular life…me, us. I don’t know what that’s like. I don’t know how difficult and tiring it is to be on all the time, and to switch off when you walk through that door to me. I have it so easy—I get to hide away from everything, and then at the end of the day, or the end of the week, month…I get you, I get to hear your voice, and see your face, and I couldn’t ask for anything better…”

He ducks away, and the water is turned off as one more big plume of steam rises up and starts to clear. You reach for his towel, hold it open for him, and wait patiently as he drips and shakes his hair. It’s cute, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him do it.

“…because there’s nothing better”

Seungmin steps out and lets you wrap it around him. The water beading down his chest is too much, and as he’s tightening it around his waist, you lean forward and kiss him there. Muscle flexes as you pull away and place another one, and then another until your lips close around his nipple.

At any moment, he could pull away from you, because he hasn’t made his intentions clear yet. He could stay now, for a while, for the last time, or he could leave as soon as he’s dressed. The letter is written and read to him, though it was short, and maybe that was the last of your say on the subject. Maybe that’s why he showed up—that, and the phone.

No. Seungmin wouldn’t put in this much effort just to turn around and leave. He’s still upset, and he’s still confused.

He looks down at you and closes his eyes, savoring the warmth of your lips on his cool skin. It might be too much right now to touch again, but he wants to.

A hand up your back is all it takes to get a sound out of you.

“Hey”

“Yeah?” Your forehead presses against him and you avoid his gaze.

“Everything you said, just now and last night…” he stops and hmms to himself, musing out loud again, “and what I said. Why can’t we say those things to each other. Why did it take this, after so long?”

“Because we’re both afraid of being vulnerable with each other, at least on our feet.”

Seungmin laughs at that. “Yeah, I guess it’s a little different during sex, but even then…”

“Are you saying you want—“ you stop, but not because he interrupts you. You stop because you’re terrified of his answer.

“…to work on it?”

He can still finish your sentences. Maybe that’s part of the problem—thinking you can read each other’s mind, even though sometimes you absolutely do.

“I can feel your heartbeat”

And it feels like it could stop at any moment. It feels like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, preparing to jump…to get pushed.

Seungmin pulls you even closer, and you wrap your arms around his waist.

“Is that what you think we should do?”

“I just want you to trust the person you give yourself to”

“Is it silly if I still trust you? I know you want me to stay, but the way you talk makes it seem like you’re pushing me away. Like you’re giving me an out.”

“No, it’s not silly. I don’t want to push you away, but I do hate myself more than I ever thought I could.”

“Maybe we’ve talked enough today. We both need more sleep…can we do that?”

[tonowarii]

Young and Dumb, with a Broken Arm

Pairing: Lo'ak te Suli Tsyeyk'itan x GN! Human! Reader

Requested?: Yes

Summary: A tale of you and Lo'ak's shenanigans, but this time, it ended up with you supporting a broken arm.

Word count: 2.0k

Warning/s: graphic description of injury, slight angst bc bro its lo'ak, swearing, hurt/comfort, but fluff towards the end!

Note: I truly believe this was supposed to be just a funny little one shot but I spilled a little bit of angst onto this one 😶

GIF is not mine, credits to the owner!

"I bet you can't climb a tree faster than me."

"I bet you can't jump down from this branch on your feet."

"I bet you—"

It has always been a game of bets and pranks between you and Lo’ak growing up.

You two were considered partners in crime, not seeing the otber without one following close by.

You two were always up to shenanigans that ended up Jake scolding Lo’ak around two to three times a week.

Lo’ak would get scolded on about bringing you in to his reckless ideas, putting you in danger, while you watched to the side as Lo’ak suffered Jake’s wrath.

You didn’t have anyone to scold you, technically, your adopted parents were back in the lab and they often had little to none news of what you were doing out and about with the Sully family.

Yet there was no stopping the two of you.

You had also grown to play pranks on each other, one time you had Lo’ak’s bow super glued to its place that when he went to grab it, and when it wasn’t budging, he pulled on it with all his force that he fell straight onto his ass. After that scenario leaving his butt sore, he could hear you laughing from the outside.

He retaliated by hiding your quiver of your own handmade arrows.

It took you a whole week of pestering Lo’ak and when he finally had enough, he retrieved them from behind his bed. Which earned him a smack on the (lower) back from you.

Now at present day, you were bound to doing something stupid again.

“Look, trust me, mom taught dad this one.”

Lo’ak says, looking out off the edge of the cliff towards the huge green leaves that sprung from the huge trees on opposite sides.

“Yeah, that looks like a quick death to me.” You reply, stepping to look out of the edge yourself.

Lo’ak huffs, placing his bow behind him. He looked like he was getting ready to jump.

“When have my calculations ever been wrong?” Lo’ak looks down to ask you, a smirk forming on his face.

“Well…” You say in thought, looking up.

“Shut up, that was one time.” He spoke.

You laughed.

“Come on, are you really living if you’re not trying this out? Or are you just being a wuss?” Lo’ak teased. He surely knows how to get on your nerves.

“Oh, you’re on, forest boy.” You accept.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Lo’ak cheered. He then gets himself ready, adjusting his bow behind him and backing away to gain momentum.

“But if you die, I’m taking your toruk stuff toy.” You say to him.

“Pfft, watch me, human.” He rolls his eyes at you. Then he breathes out before running and jumping of the edge, his body now facing the ground as he fell.

You ran over to the edge and watched, watching how Lo’ak gracefully switched between leaf to leaf, slowing down his fall as he successfully plops to the ground on his feet.

You knit your brows as Lo’ak yelped, feeling the rush of adrenaline coursing through him.

To be honest, you hadn’t done this before.

“(Y/N)! Come on!” Lo’ak shouts at you from below. “Just like what I did!”

Oh, the things you’d do for this boy.

You didn’t have your bow with you today, so you just braced yourself, backing up the same as Lo’ak did.

Eywa, if I fall to my death, please reincarnate me into anything that can haunt Lo’ak for the rest of his life

You prayed with a slight chuckle.

Or even reincarnate me into an avatar, that sounds cool.

“(Y/N)! Did you finally back out?” Lo’ak’s voice stopped your thoughts.

“Like hell I did!” You shout back at him.

Breathing out, you ran with all your might and jumped.

You did what you saw, and at first, you were successful after a few leaves.

But then everything went downhill on the bottom half.

You concentrated on moving your body from side to side that you had failed to notice a looped vine on one of the leaves, that when you landed on it, your feet had fit the exact loop.

Your foot got stuck, making you lose your progress as you panicked, failing to reach the opposite leaf, making you almost hover a few feet up from the ground.

And that’s when the vine snapped.

Your eyes widened, thinking first to prevent your mask from taking the fall as your body was quickly reaching the ground.

“Shit! (Y/N)!!” You hear Lo’ak scream as you flipped to your side, hoping the mask doesn’t break.

And you hit the ground hard. With a cracking sound.

“Fuck, fuck!” Lo’ak swore, running over to you, flipping you onto your back as you had your eyes closed.

Lo’ak, in a panic, lifted you into his arms, immediately going to check if there was any damage to your mask as his hands, almost two times bigger than the size of your face, traced over your mask.

It looks like there was no damage, but he could hear your faint breathing.

Then he takes a glance at your arm and it was almost the most terrifying thing he has ever seen.

And he was a hundred percent sure your arm, or even a regular na’vi’s arm, should not bend that way. “Shit.” He mutters, huge blue hand going over to lift your arm to find your forearm falling limp, almost like jelly.

Then you stirred, making Lo’ak’s eyes widened. “Can you hear me? (Y/N), (Y/N) look at me!” He says, shaking you.

The first thing you registered was Lo’ak who was hovering above you.

Then came the searing pain from your arm.

Lo’ak watched as you stared at him, then in seconds your face contorted into pain as you cried out loud.

Lo’ak felt a pang in his heart, making himself want to cry, almost feeling your pain, but he knows he can't afford to act this way.

“Hold on, (Y/N), alright? Stay with me.” Lo’ak says as he stands up, carrying you in his arms. You continued crying, making Lo’ak frown as he quickly found his way to an opening, calling out to his ikran.

Once it arrived, Lo’ak wasted no time making tsahelyu as he carried you in front of him.

“Go, go!” He screamed at his banshee, who scurried to take flight.

Lo’ak could still hear your cries as he bites his lip, not wanting to look down at your face because he knew it would only pain him more. His heart pounded in his chest; he wanted you to be okay.

Please be okay.

Reaching High Camp, Lo’ak carefully gets off his banshee and he once again carries your small body.

“Norm, Norm!” Lo’ak called once he finds the human figure of Norm talking to another scientist.

Norm turns, his face paling once he realized Lo’ak was carrying you, your bent arm in full view.

“Holy shit, come on, bring her in here!” Norm shouted, earning a few looks from the other villagers.

Norm opens up the door towards the shack, wasting no time to grab the necessary kits to use.

“Lay them down there!” Norm commanded. You had fallen unconscious again.

Lo’ak followed, not minding that he was running out of breath being in the shack as the oxygen was not capable with his body.

He places you down carefully, removing your mask so you could be seen clearly.

“(Y/N), c’mon wake up.” He whispers, seeing your tear stained cheeks makes him let out a shaky breath.

“Lo’ak, I’m sorry bud but you’re going to have to give us some space.” Norm said.

“But I’m—” Lo’ak gasps out, eyes scanning to find a mask made for the na’vi inside the shack. Once he had his hands on it, he breathes through his mask before placing it down.

“I’m not leaving.” Lo’ak said, stubborn as always.

Norm sighed but he let the boy stay. “Sure, kid, just keep out of the way, yeah?”

Lo’ak nods, finding a spot for himself in the corner where he could see you being monitored by Norm, and then he was joined by Max.

He could hear them talking and scanning your vitals, but he only thing he focused on was the rise and fall of your own chest.

A few good ten minutes had passed when the door opened, and it was the last thing Lo’ak needed to see.

His dad.

“I heard what happened.” Jake entered, carefully going over to Norm and Max.

“They took quite the fall… but their vitals are stable now, except for their broken arm which I’ll estimate would heal about two weeks or so.” Max said.

Jake nods, looking at you on the table, brows knitted in worry.

Then his eyes cast over to the corner to find Lo’ak looking at you, wearing the same worried look.

Jake bites his lip, of course, how could he have not known?

He spares his son the lecturing this time, figuring that your health mattered the most to him.

But that wasn’t stopping him from comforting his son.

Jake carefully trudges over to where Lo’ak was.

“Hey, kid.” Jake said, kneeling down so they were almost face to face.

“Dad- dad I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“ Lo’ak begins explaining, his voice cracking in the process.

Jake lets Lo’ak lean his head on his shoulder as Jake sighed. “It was an accident, I know. They’ll be okay.”

“But dad- It was my fault—”

Jake shakes his head. “I don’t think they’ll blame you for it, kid, the two of you are quite the troublemakers.” Jake said, trying to ease his son.

Lo’ak then lifts his head, eyes darting towards your form, seeing your arm now had a bandage around it, a cast, he thinks its called.

Jake breathes in the oxygen from his own mask before patting Lo’ak on the back. “I don’t blame you and neither do they. Just make sure they’re okay, yeah?”

Lo’ak nods, feeling an instant relief provided by you and his father. As Jake left, Lo’ak stands up, slowly making his way toward you.

“They’ll be alright, I think its best giving them a couple of hours to rest.” Norm says. “Thank you.” Lo’ak said.

Norm nods at him before walking out with Max to leave the two of you alone.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N).”

Then as if on cue, you stirred again, your eyes shut as you tried to move.

Your eyes slowly blinked open. “Wha-“

“We’re back in High Camp,” Lo’ak quickly said, he then assists you in sitting up, then his hand delicately ghosts over your cast covered arm.

“I bought you here… Norm and Max helped fix you up but they said your arm would take about three weeks to heal.” Lo’ak said in a low voice.

You looked at him as he was looking at your arm. Then you glance back at him. “Well, that’s a bummer.”

Lo’ak was caught off guard by your reaction as he turned his head to face you.

“What?” You looked at him, only then you realized how big his face actually was compared to yours.

“I just broke your arm… that’s not “a bummer” that’s like… worse than bummer.” Lo’ak said.

You laugh. “Why? Did you personally come to me and broke my arm in half with your bare hands? No, no you didn’t. It’s not your fault. And have you forgotten? We grew up literally almost befriending death because of our stupid bets and pranks.”

Lo’ak finds himself smiling, remembering quite the few bets that almost had the same outcome as this. “I suppose so… whatever you say.”

“But you’re still a skxawng for not catching me back there.” Your voice turned serious and Lo’ak’s face looked like it was drained of its color.

You laugh out loud again, gaining the courage to lean yourself against him, feeling his bare skin on yours felt something to be remembered.

Lo’ak, upon the contact of your head on his chest, had his tail swaying behind him in content.

He sneakily wraps an arm around your smaller form, his hand resting beside your thigh.

“This time I’ll be sure to catch you.”

[goatcheesecak3]

Gavin's Diary

Gavin Ellis x F!Reader

Fic type: angst

Warnings: police violence, gun violence, coma, organised crime

Summary: Gavin reflects on the mistakes he's made in his diary, as he wonders what the future might hold for him and y/n

Y/N got fucked up. And it’s my fault. I roped Ray into some bullshit, even though she warned me not to. Ray is okay now, thank god, somehow he managed to go ten full days without spilling his guts – metaphorically and literally. He says he forgives me, but I still feel awful. That’s why I told that cop, I told him everything, and I begged him to give Ray immunity. I didn’t care if I went down for it, I just wanted to get him out of the mess I made. Well, turns out that was just another thing I fucked up, because it got the love of my life hurt.

I stood on the rooftop with Detective Paris, and told him the whole plan. I told him the part I played and I even gave him Pat’s name, and he told me I would be okay. I believed him. Why the fuck did I believe a cop? Staring down into the motel car park, I pointed out the car of the man who’d been sent there to kill me.

“you won’t have to worry about him anymore” were the last words I heard before my balance was thrown off, a firm slap to my back sent me lunging forwards. My life flashed before my eyes, before I realised I had stopped falling. Desperate, clamouring hands had gripped onto any part of me that they could, and pulled me back over the ledge and onto the roof once more. The screams, those awful screams could very well have been the last thing I heard from y/n, as she held my body, which was now limp with fear, kicking and shouting at the cop to get away. She had followed me there. Smart as ever, of course y/n had known that what she had always referred to as a “Gav plan” would fall through. She was always looking out for me. As if saving my life wasn’t enough, she was willing to sacrifice her own for me, shielding my body with her own as gunshots rang out.

All this commotion was enough to get the attention of the other cops in the building, as they dashed upstairs to find Detective Paris pointing a gun at y/n and me. None of the bullets had hit me, I was, somehow, entirely unscathed. I couldn’t say the same for y/n. She lay motionless, one bullet in her thigh, another in her back. Being as incredible as she always was, y/n had a tape recorder in her pocket, it had documented the entire altercation – all while she was creeping up on me and the cop, right until the paramedics later found it on her person. By some miracle, none of the bullets or blood had gotten to it. Needless to say, Detective Paris has been arrested.

The lawyer who had been assigned to Ray’s case has decided to take y/n and I on as clients too, she’s a nice lady, and I can tell she’s invested in the wellbeing of everyone involved. So far, it’s looking good for me on the legal front, there’s physical proof that I cooperated, and that I was assaulted by an officer. It’s looking like all my charges will be dropped if I agree to keep my mouth shut about what happened. I can’t say the same for y/n, though. Legally, obviously she’s fine, but she’s been in a medically induced coma for a week now and I can’t put into words how scared I am for her.

I’ve visited her every day for the last week, just sitting by her side, holding her hand and reading her poetry. I’m not sure if she can hear me, but I hope that if she can it’s brought her some type of comfort. It’s funny, I never really got the poems and books she enjoyed before, but now they’re the only things that comfort me. There’s this one poem by a guy called Thomas Hardy, it’s about his cat dying. Y/n always loved that one, and now I think I do too, I don’t know, I guess it reminds me of her or something.

I suppose that brings me to the present. The hospital called about an hour ago, an said y/n’s finally awake and in a stable condition. I’m writing this from the hospital waiting room, knowing that these may well be the last few moments I can kid myself that y/n and I are still together, I doubt she wants anything to do with me anymore after everything I’ve put her through. Still, y/n being alive and healthy whilst hating me is better than her dying because she loved someone as fucked up as I am.

I think the nurse is calling me now, wish me luck.

A/N i've got an idea for a part 2 to this, so let me know if anyone wants it!

[chameleon66]

Love’s Illusion

Warnings: Angst, implied autistic Gus, past bullying, Bria (let me know if I need to add anything else)

Author’s note: So funny story, I was planning to post this a few days ago but when I went back to edit this my computer completely crashed and it took days for the repair shop to get it back up and running so yeah it’s been a while since I have written a Fanfiction but I hope to upload more of these more often. With all of that said happy reading and happy Gustholomule week.

Matt was getting worried, he hadn’t heard from Gus since yesterday when they accidently ran into Bria at the bonesburrow market place and Bria had a lot to say to Gus and none of it was very nice.

Guess she wasn’t over what happened in the illusionist’s graveyard. Gus was so obviously hurt by what she had said, so much so that Gus choked back whatever words that had died on his tongue and said that he had forgotten he had to help his dad with something.

Gus then summoned Emmeline and flew off in the direction of his house. Matt was furious at Bria, she had no business being here reopening old scars. As angry Matt was he swallowed his rage and just turned his back on her.

On his way home Matt texted Gus, asking if he was ok but never got an answer, so an hour later he texted him again this time telling Gus to not think about what Bria said and that she wasn’t worth losing sleep over. Matt still got no answer.

The next day he still hadn’t gotten a reply back and Matt couldn’t stop himself, he went over to Gus’s house but when he knocked on the door he got no answer.

After waiting another minute he decided to go around the house and look for another way in. Matt moved to the side of the house and cast a spell circle raising a platform to the window that if Matt remembered correctly was Gus’s bedroom window.

Matt peered through the glass to see Gus’s bedroom dimly lit, the only sources of light seemed to be the window and a crystal ball on the floor, and next to the crystal ball was a gloomy looking Gus laying on his back staring up at the ceiling.

Has he been like this since he got home? Matt asked himself.

Matt knocked on the window which seemed to snap Gus back to the real world as he sat up and looked around his room before his eyes landed on the window with his boyfriend on the other side of the glass.

Gus stiffened in his shoulders before he climbed on to his bed to the window and opened it for Matt.

“You could have just used the front door.” Gus smiled but Matt could tell it was forced.

“I tried knocking but you never answered.” Matt answered climbing through the window onto Gus’s bed beside him.

Matt’s boyfriend looked away and scratched the back of his head awkwardly, “Oh sorry about that.” Matt could see Gus’s mind was somewhere else as he wouldn’t look in his boyfriend’s direction and he was laying on the floor when Matt first saw him which he did when he was feeling overwhelmed or stressed out.

“No need to say sorry you dork.” Matt joked trying to lighten the mood, Gus looked back at him and tried to smile though it still looked very forced.

“Are you okay, Gus?”

Gus sighed leaning his back against the wall and drawing his knees up to his chest, another thing Matt knew he did when he was experiencing a negative emotion. Matt paused trying to find the right words to say, then formulating them into a sentence.

“Look, Bria has always been a jerk and she’s not worth getting upset over.” Matt shuffled closer to Gus. Gus looked down at his bedsheets, wrapping his arms around himself.

“That’s not why I am upset.” Gus uttered in a monotone tone that didn’t feel right in Gus’s voice.

“Why?” Matt pressed, he felt like the answer was staring him dead in the face but the construction witch just couldn’t put his finger on it.

“I guess I’m just kinda mad at myself.” Gus rubbed his eyes from under his glasses, probably trying to keep his tears from flowing.

Now it was Matt’s turn to choke on his words, How did Gus come to the conclusion to be mad at himself? Especially when Bria was the one who said all those things to him.

“Why at yourself?” Matt asked, trying to keep the millions of questions in his head.

Gus looked at his Boyfriend with guilt plaguing his midnight sky eyes. “Everyone says I’m really smart but then why do I act so dumb?”

Matt remained silent waiting for Gus to continue while also pre thinking of what to say to comfort Gus when he finished speaking.

“I get tricked by everyone and I always get upset over stupid things.” Gus buried his face in his hands as if he was trying to hide from what he thought was the truth.

“I just let myself get tricked and used all the time, Bria has just been one of many people who tricked me and for some stupid reason I just can’t see it.”

Matt felt his mouth get very dry, he figured that he wasn’t the only one to have tricked Gus but he never knew the details of it all.

“I’m nearly sixteen for titian’s sake, so why do I still act like a child?”

Gus threw his head back against the wall hitting it, the vibrations causing one of Gus’s framed pictures to come loose, fall and hit Gus on the head.

“Ouch!” Gus cried holding his head.

Matt began to reach a hand towards the illusionist only for Gus’s head to shoot up and open his eyes which were glowing blinding bright blue. Matt pried his eyes away from his boyfriend to see the room being consumed in the same blue glow.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not again.” Gus’s words were sharp and his voice sounded scared. Suddenly the room shifted to the illusionist graveyard but everything was tinted blue.

Matt squinted his eyes as a silhouette came into focus and then took the form of Bria who wore a sarcastic smile on her face that just made Matt want to punch her lights out.

“Aw, is the little baby gonna cry?” Bria or illusion Bria teasingly cooed. “You know, I’ve always wondered how someone so smart could ever be so stupid.”

Gus curled tighter into a ball, shutting his eyes so tightly the skin around his eyes began to wrinkle.

“This is why you’re so useful Gus, you’re so desperate to make friends, you can be a tool.” Bria cackled, placing her hands on her hips.

Gus began to shake his head back and forth and gritting his teeth, “Shut up, just shut up!” Gus buried his head in his arms trying to tune out Bria’s voice.

Matt was trying to process the things he was hearing, Gus had truly been holding in a lot and it seemed that now was when Matt needed to help his boyfriend.

Slowly Matt placed a hand on Gus’s shoulder, Gus looked back at him, eyes still glowing with his brows knit down.

“Gus..” Matt started but paused. He was never good with emotions especially other people’s, what if he just messed up and made things worse?

No, Matt didn’t have time to think about that. This wasn’t about him, it was about Gus. Who really needed a hug and some comforting words as soon as possible.

So Matt figuratively manned up and began speaking again.

“Gus, can you try to take some deep breaths please?” Matt asked, silently praying he wouldn’t mess anything up.

Gus’s breathing kept hitching as he exhaled while he was still clearly trying to hold himself together, Matt directed Gus’s attention to him as Matt began taking deep breaths with Gus’s beginning to follow his example of breathing.

“That’s it Gus, you’re doing good.” Matt reassured.

After a minute of deep breathing and encouraging words from Matt the illusion around them began to fade and suddenly they were back in Gus’s bedroom with no trace of the graveyard of Bria in sight.

Gus wore a somber look on his face as if he just spent all of his energy on his feelings.

“Sorry about that-.”

“No.” Matt interrupted, “Don’t apologize, it wasn’t your fault.” Matt gave Gus’s shoulder a soft squeeze.

“Why can’t I learn though?” Gus asked, still not looking in Matt’s direction.

“I always get tricked and yet I’m always still called the smart kid, so why can’t I just be smart for once?” Gus’s words felt like ice water that made your skin feel all prickly and Matt knew he needed to bring some warmth to Gus.

Matt Grabbed both of Gus’s hands and rubbed his thumb over the knuckles urging Gus to slowly look up at Matt’s sympathetic eyes.

“Gus, you are the smartest witch I have ever known.” Matt saw the doubtful expression on Gus’s face so he kept going. “And I’m not just saying that, you are always eager to learn something new and you always notice the small details that you apply to help anyone who needs it.”

Matt saw Gus’s ear perk up which encouraged Matt to continue speaking.

“Sure you may be a bit Gullible but that’s like the best part about you, you always find it somewhere in your heart to forgive people and give them a second chance to prove themselves and you still continue forward even when you are scared, so long story short.”

“Too late.” Gus joked which made Matt chuckle.

“The point is, Nobody's perfect but that’s ok because I still like what’s flawed about you.” Matt explained.

Gus smiled, a true smile that made Matt's heart jump a little. “Thank you Matty.” Gus thanked warmly.

“Don’t mention it.” Matt beamed then placed a kiss on Gus’s nose.

“Do you feel better?” Matt asked.

“A little bit.” Gus answered with his smile faltering a bit.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Just stay?” Gus shyly requested. “Of course.” Matt pulled Gus into his arms, laying them both down on the bed and letting Gus lay down beside him and then wrap his arms around him while Matt kissed the back of his neck softly.

“I love you, Gus.”

“I love you too Matty.”

[beefromanoff]

Going Under Ch. 27

summary: the team has had enough of the lovebirds so they take a little getaway back to the city!

characters: Bucky Barnes x OC

soundtrack: About You - the 1975

warnings: fluff, pop star fantasy x love story, set in an AU where the Avengers reunite after Civil War, pre-infinity war, slight angst, hurt/comfort, lonely reader/OC.

author’s note: okay OKAY this is big, I'm so sorry for the delay! for a while I was getting multiple chapters up in a week and it's taken me like two weeks to finish this one! partly because I wanted to let the last one simmer and didn't know how to follow it up - partly because life was crazy! I had a birthday and was off doing who knows what, but I'm BACK! thanks for the patience and all the loveeee! enjoy!

chapter list

________________________________

“That’s it. I’m moving back to New York.” Sam declared, pushing back from the table. “I’m about to stab myself in the ears.” 

“Oh come on, it’s not…horrible.” Steve looked at him apologetically as the sound of a headboard against a wall interrupted him mid-sentence. 

A collective groan rang out around the table, Natasha dropping her hand onto her hands and Peter sliding his plate away slowly. It had been just over a week since Gianna and Bucky had officially consummated their relationship and the whole compound knew about it. Those unfortunate enough to share a floor with them had it the worst, hearing the evidence of their passion up to three times every day. Bucky hadn’t helped with training in several days, at Steve’s insistence. When two recruits came in early to get warmed up for their training session and found Gianna pressed up against a wall, legs wrapped around the Winter Soldier himself -- they decided the extra sparring wasn’t worth it. It was an unspoken rule to avoid the dock altogether. What was the setting for their first real kiss had since become a favorite lovemaking spot, especially at sunset. 

As much as everyone preferred not to hear the chorus of moans during breakfast, not one person was unhappy about their relationship. 

If anyone had experienced more than a lifetime’s worth of pain, it was James Buchanan Barnes. 

If anyone had brought color back to his life, a smile back to his face…it was Gianna Cruz. She’d charmed everyone she’d come into contact with on the compound, everything about her oozing genuine sweetness. 

They deserved this. They deserved each other. 

Everyone else, however, couldn’t help but wonder what the hell they did to deserve this front row ticket to a downright pornographic soundtrack. 

“Mornin.’” 

The team looked up from their discarded plates, snapping out of whatever daydream they were using to escape reality. Bucky strode towards them, tugging a shirt down over his stomach. His gray sweatpants didn’t leave much to the imagination, especially with the recent excitement not fully out of his system. 

“Sleep well, princess?” Sam called from his position leaning against the counter. Bucky narrowed his eyes, regarding him as though deciding if he wanted to growl something back. He settled on something more peaceful. 

“Fine.” 

“Funny, because I could have sworn I heard you up around 2am.” Nat smirked. 

“Now that you mention it,” Wanda pretended to scratch her head in confusion. “I think I heard that too. Or was it 5am?”

“You guys can joke all you want, but I have the room right below them. I might actually need therapy.” Peter deadpanned. 

Uncharacteristically quiet amidst the team’s teasing, Bucky poured himself a mug of black coffee and leaned against the counter across from Sam. He sipped the hot drink, looking mildly amused. 

“Isn’t this the part where you tell us to shut the hell up or you’ll chokeslam someone out a window?” Sam cocked his head. 

“Something tells me he did enough choking last night.” Nat’s smirk only grew. 

A half smile played across his face, stubble growing longer than usual from his lack of shaving over the past few days. He said nothing, sipping his coffee again. 

“Well? Anything to say for yourself there, Barnes?” 

“You guys sound bitter.” He grinned. “You all need to get laid.” 

_________________________________________________

Gianna’s POV

“Hurry back!” I called from the tangled mess of comforter and sheets, admiring the view of Bucky’s lower back as he disappeared through the door, still pulling his shirt down. My stomach growled. I’d been utterly ravenous lately. Something about sleeping with a super soldier, you’re gonna burn a lot of calories. Thank God my bedroom was close to the kitchen. 

Our routine for the past week had been pretty simple. Eat, sleep…fuck. 

Well, it wasn’t always fucking. Sometimes it was sweet, gentle, soft. Something that could only be considered making love. Other times…

“Bucky…” I giggled as his hand slid up my shirt in the dark, empty training room. 

“It’s okay, we’re so early. Sessions don’t start for another hour.” He grinned, gripping my waist and lifting me up. I couldn’t help the little squeal that escaped me. His hair was still slightly sweaty from his morning run, the smell of him almost intoxicating. 

“If you say so, Sarge.” We walked backwards as he kissed me, holding me up as if I was weightless. I wrapped my legs around him, wanting to be as close as possible every single second of every single day. When my back gently hit the wall, I felt cold metal fingers slide underneath my skirt, searching for panties to pull to the side. 

I wasn’t wearing any. 

Bucky groaned into my open mouth, fumbling with his own waistband instead. In a flurry of sweaty kisses and desperate grips, he was inside me. Right there, up against the padded training room wall. I cried out, biting my lip to keep quiet as our sounds echoed through the empty room. 

My fingers tangled in his damp hair, my head falling back as he kissed my neck, my collarbone. I was putty in his hands. He was so strong. So steady. He held me up with one hand, the other cupping my face as I moaned. He never broke his steady, desperate pace of thrusts into me. 

It sounded like somewhere far away where a door opened and someone sucked in a sharp breath. I was somewhere between utter bliss and intense pleasure and quite honestly didn’t give a shit who saw. When the door slammed behind whoever it was as they fled, I laughed into our kiss until my laughter was drowned by the peak of pleasure he always made sure to give me. 

“Miss me?” Bucky breezed back through the door, two steaming mugs in his hands. He handed one to me as he slid back into bed with me. 

“Always,” I sipped the coffee, not caring that it was bitter and black. I just needed something to stop the growling in my stomach. “Were they mad?”

He grinned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Come on, Buck,” I elbowed him. “It’s been over a week since we’ve been at breakfast, or any meal…I feel bad.” 

“Want me to make you feel good instead?”

“Bucky Barnes!” I gasped in mock offense, ignoring the unironic flutters in my stomach. 

“Don’t worry about them.” He stroked a strand of my undoubtedly messy hair behind my ear. “Besides, they won’t have to worry about it for a few days.”

“Hmm, and why is that?” 

“I thought we could go up to the Tower for a few days. Just us. It’s not like they’re going to miss me in training anyways, clearly they can get on just fine.” Bucky sipped his coffee. “It’s been a while since we’ve been in the city, and we haven’t really ever been…alone. The tower will be empty for a few days. I figured, I mean if everyone wanted, I thought they could fly out for Thanksgiving later this week. There’s a great view of the parade from the balcony and I thought -”

“Yes.” I couldn’t help cutting him off. He over-explained when he was nervous and as adorable as it was, I couldn’t wait a second longer to tell him how much I loved his idea. “James Buchanan Barnes, that sounds completely and utterly perfect.” 

He smiled, shoulders relaxing slightly. “I was hoping you’d say that. We leave in an hour.” 

_________________________________________________

The Quintet sailed through the night sky, its sleek form navigating the clouds effortlessly. Seated in the co-pilot's chair, Gianna watched the blur of terrain below, marveling at the view as Bucky guided the aircraft towards New York.

"You know, you're pretty hot as a pilot." she remarked with a grin.

He grinned, his eyes fixed on the horizon. "This is one of the more difficult flights I’ve had."

“Really? Why?” Her brows furrowed. 

“Because I need to keep my eyes on the sky, but all I want to do is look at the girl in the seat next to me.” 

Gianna's fingers traced the edge of the console as she blushed. Her gaze rose to the miles of red and orange forest that stretched out before them, soaking in the beauty that was fall in the Northeast. 

"So, smooth talker, what's the plan for our little New York adventure?" she inquired.

"I figured we'd keep it simple. A stroll through Central Park, see the leaves before they fall. Maybe get dressed up in honor of our first dinner outside the bedroom in eight days. And, of course, a visit to that coffee shop you like so much."

Eyes crinkled in adoration, she responded, "You remembered."

"There’s nothing about you I want to forget." He removed his hand briefly from the control panel to squeeze her knee.

"You're smooth, Barnes." She grinned, hugging her knees to her chest in the bucket seat. “But I never said I was ready to stop eating all of our meals in the bedroom.”

Bucky cocked an eyebrow at her, grinning. “As you wish.” 

As they talked, the Quintet flew past the blur of colored below, emerging towards the industrial hues of the city. Bucky guided them through the familiar skyline towards the impossible to miss Avengers’ Tower. Gianna watched the buildings fly by beneath them, fully at ease whenever she was with him. As they descended onto the landing platform that was nearly in the clouds itself, she couldn’t help but feel like the city had never been this colorful in all the years she’d lived here alone. 

_________________________________________________

The soft glow of the city's night seeped through the curtains, casting a muted radiance in the room. Almost the entire day had been a blur, with their bags dropped on the ground within seconds of the elevator doors closing behind them. They’d collapsed to the ground in a mess of kisses and hands and laughter. 

Lovemaking. 

After dozing off on the criminally soft carpet, they’d settled into Bucky’s room. Somehow, after offering to pour them some wine, Gianna found herself bent over the bar where she had drunkenly kissed him a few months prior. 

Fucking. 

After a long, steamy shower, they’d decided it was best for them to go out. Get out of the house, if only to preserve their bodies from the ravenous desires that didn’t seem to be slowing down. 

Finally, Gianna emerged from the bedroom, fastening her second earring. She was adorned in a dress that flowed around her, a dark green that pulled a sparkle from her eyes. Standing up from the barstool where he waited for her, Bucky let out a low whistle.

"Wow," he remarked, offering a half-smile. “You look…wow.”

Gianna grinned, a hint of blush coloring her cheeks. "Has it been that long since I brushed my hair?"

He extended his arm. "Shall we?"

She chuckled, slipping her arm through his. "Lead the way, kind sir."

The stepped into the elevator and Gianna didn’t hide her gaze as it raked over him. A simple black dress shirt with black slacks, hugging him in all the right places. As much as she loved him with bedhead, he looked so damn handsome with his hair tucked behind his ears. As they reached the bottom, she noticed something different – one of Tony's vintage convertible sports cars gleaming in the front circle drive.

"Is this...?" she began, eyes wide.

Bucky nodded, a mischievous glint in his eye. "A classy ride for a classy lady."

Gianna laughed, genuine surprise lighting up her features. "I…wow. I didn’t expect this.”

"I’m full of surprises," he replied, a smirk playing on his lips as he opened the passenger door for her. 

As they settled into the plush leather seats of the car, Bucky turned the key, and the engine purred to life. They glided through the city streets, the wind tousling Gianna's hair. It was warm for November in New York, but the breeze gave her a chill nonetheless. 

"So why the car tonight?" she asked, watching the city lights streak by.

Bucky glanced at her, a playful grin forming. "I thought it would be good to remind ourselves that we can have a normal night out. No security, no fanfare. Just two people enjoying each other's company."

Gianna smiled, the simplicity of the sentiment resonating with her. "Normal sounds nice."

"Besides," he added, a hint of mischief in his eyes, "I don’t think you need security considering the company you’re in."

She laughed, leaning back against the seat. "True, although I’m more concerned about fangirls coming after you than me these days."

Bucky steered them into the valet circle in front of one of Gianna's favorite restaurants, an Italian place on the edge of town. A soft Frank Sinatra song greeted them as they parked, and he offered Gianna his arm once more as he helped her from the vehicle.

"Ready for a calm, normal night out?" he asked, his gaze steady.

"As long as the night in afterwards is anything but," she replied, her sultry smile a direct contrast to the sweetness of her face. She could have sworn she heard a low growl escape his lips as he held the door open for her. 

_________________________________________________

The soft hum of conversation and the clink of cutlery against fine china surrounded them as they enjoyed the cozy ambiance of the intimate Italian restaurant. Candlelight flickered, casting warm shadows on the walls as they savored the last bites of their meal.

As the server cleared their plates, Bucky took a sip of his wine, eyes never leaving Gianna. "You know, you're even more enchanting under this light."

Gianna grinned, her eyes sparkling. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Barnes."

He chuckled, leaning back in his chair. "I don't need flattery. Maybe just a bit more wine."

She lifted her wine glass in a mock toast before downing the rest of her glass, never breaking eye contact.

Their playful banter melted into a comfortable silence as they browsed the dessert menu. The restaurant's atmosphere, the classic love songs softly playing over the speakers, the warmth in Gianna’s stomach from the wine…all of it yielded to a moment that seemed to suspend in time.

Bucky broke the quiet, his tone soft but sincere. "I…I never thought I'd find someone who could pull me out of the shadows. Gianna…you saved me in ways I didn't know I needed saving."

Gianna reached across the table, her fingers finding his. "And you, Bucky Barnes, have saved me so many times I lost count. You saved me from people, from circumstances. But even more than that…you saved me from feeling alone in this world. I've traveled to so many places, performed in front of countless crowds, but it always felt like I was on the outside looking in. Until you." She squeezed his hand. 

Their gazes held, a silent acknowledgment of the confessions they’d both laid bare. The restaurant's soundtrack of old-school ballads seemed to underscore the emotions in the air.

Bucky stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. "I thought I could feel this way. After everything. I didn’t think I could feel so...alive." He shook his head, looking down. “I’m sorry, I’m not as good with words as you.”

Gianna's eyes softened, and she smiled. "Funny, I was thinking the exact opposite. You make me feel alive, too.” 

He raised his glass with the hand not holding hers. “To feeling alive.” Their glasses clinked, the last of their wine not holding a candle to the intoxication from the buzz between them.

_________________________________________________

The car purred to a stop in front of the Avengers' Tower, its vintage frame a testament to another time. It was perfect for her forties’ man, with all his charm, Gianna thought as she leaned comfortably against Bucky's shoulder in the seat. The afterglow of their dinner date still lingered as they pulled to the front circle drive. The familiar sight of a small crowd greeted them. Fans, recognizably holding posters and notebooks, mingled with the ever-present paparazzi, their cameras flashing like strobe lights. Gianna shared a glance with Bucky, her expressive eyes conveying a mix of humor and a hint of apprehension.

Bucky extended his arm to Gianna as they stepped out of the car, a subtle nod of solidarity exchanged between them. To their astonishment, the clamor for autographs and attention was almost evenly divided between the pop star and the previously polarizing Winter Soldier.

A group of young girls, their eyes wide with admiration, eagerly held out notebooks and printed photos for Bucky to sign. Gianna, ever the good sport, grinned at the irony of the situation. Just as she predicted, with his rugged charm and a hint of vulnerability, Bucky was attracting just as much attention from the fans as she was. He paused, looking at her apprehensively. Gianna nodded in encouragement, releasing his arm so he could sign the various things being thrust out to him.

The paparazzi, relentless in their pursuit of a scoop, bombarded them with questions. Gianna, accustomed to the circus of public life, fielded inquiries with her signature grace and media training. "Oh, you know, just enjoying a night out in the city." She flashed her dazzling smile, patiently waiting for Bucky to finish.

Bucky, a stoic figure in the midst of the whirlwind, focused on signing autographs. The paparazzi, sensing an opportunity for a more intimate story, decided to push their luck.

"Sergeant Barnes, any truth to the rumors that you and Gianna Cruz are more than just coworkers?"

Bucky, without missing a beat, shot a look at Gianna, his blue eyes carrying a hint of playfulness. "Did this look like a business meeting to you?"

A ripple of laughter ran through the crowd, the tension momentarily diffused. Gianna winked at him. "He's the best bodyguard I’ve ever had. Very committed to his job."

The crowd chuckled, appreciating the banter between the unlikely duo. The paparazzi, determined to get a headline, persisted. "But seriously, all those nights on the road, living at the compound…it must make for blurred lines!”

This time, Bucky hesitated for a split second, narrowing his eyes at the personal question. He ignored it and went back to signing for the giddy teenage girls.

"Gianna, over here! How was the date?"

"Is it true you two are a couple?"

"Mr. Barnes, are you falling for the pop star?"

The questions came rapid-fire, but Gianna, well-versed in the art of dodging personal queries, maintained her poise. "Can’t go wrong with a meal at Avanzare’s, I highly recommend the lasagna."

Bucky, however, wasn't as accommodating. As fans clamored for autographs, Bucky's only half of his attention was on them, keeping a close watch on Gianna the entire time. No one dared step closer to her with the intense look in Bucky’s eye challenging them. Gianna, fully at ease, smiled and engaged with the fans.

Then came the question that altered the script. "Bucky Barnes, the Quarterback for the New York Jets recently went on record saying he was, and I quote ‘absolutely in love with Gianna Cruz. Do you have any comments for that?"

Gianna rolled her eyes. Another celebrity she’d never met, name dropping her on a late night show in hopes of going viral. An old, tired PR trick. Bucky, distracted from the question by his split focus on the fans and Gianna’s safety, spoke candidly. 

“Yeah, he can join the club.”

The revelation hung in the air, a collective gasp from the crowd. Bucky, realizing what he had admitted, turned to Gianna. She stood there, a mixture of surprise and giddiness on her face, mirrored by the expressions of the onlookers.

"I..." Bucky spoke slowly. “I am so…unbelievably, uncontrollably, stupidly, insanely in love with her.” 

His words were hanging in the night air as he blindly tossed the sharpie he was holding back to a fan and stepped to Gianna. She was beaming so widely her cheeks hurt. 

“It’s about time you said so.” She spoke softly. “Here I’ve been, hopelessly in love since the first week of tour.” He looked down at her, running his fingers down the back of her arms. Goosebumps erupted in their wake. 

“I’m sorry. I love you. I’m in love with you. I don’t care if the whole goddamn world knows it.” 

In a flash, he scooped Gianna up, spun her around and kissed her. Without setting her down or breaking the kiss, Bucky walked into the front doors of Stark Tower, the facial recognition somehow allowing them in despite their faces being pressed together. 

The paparazzi seized the moment, their cameras clicking furiously. The fans, witnessing a real-life drama unfold, erupted into applause. The reporter who’d asked the question blinked, still processing what had happened. 

"Well, that's a headline I didn't see coming."

[val-made-a-mistake]

❝the garrison rat❞ CHP 14

THE FINAL CHAPTER

previous

summary: torn apart by an unexpected loss, you find yourself unable to leave birmingham. you’re aware that people notice you drinking in the garrison every other night, you’re aware they call you nicknames, but you don’t care about any of it— at least, not until you start speaking to john shelby. he’s looking for a wife and you vowed to never love again, which makes things a bit complicated.

warnings: smut, cocaine usage, infidelity, angst, brief mention of prostitution...if you’ve made it this far you’re probably not going to be surprised by anything in this chapter

word count: 5.6k

tag list: @datewithgianni @1950schick @clementinesjourney @cbouvier23@smailaway @cedricscoffin @buckysjuicyplums @belledawnidk @wandering-poetess @bobafett-tea​ @esposadomd​ 

a/n: holy shit, where do i even start??? it’s hard to believe that a one-shot turned fic series i only wrote as a distraction because i was mad that my movie date got cancelled got here today. thank you all for the support since september 2021, because the amount of people who have enjoyed this series and keysmashed over it and dmed me to say that they stayed up all night reading it is crazy, you guys blew me tf away. i’m kissing you all five times and doing the Hand Squeeze™ with everyone who has supported me over the past five hundred something days TGR has existed. i would gladly make plans to run away to paris with you. :)

//////

“Are you running away? Because it really looks like you’re running away.”

Your suitcase shut with a sharp SNAP. “It’s only temporary. And you keep your mouth shut about this, you hear me?”

Esme held up her hands like you were pointing a gun at her. “Okay, okay, I just really don’t think this is a good idea.”

“It’s only temporary,” you muttered to yourself, preoccupied again as you shoved another cigarette into your mouth, your fifth of the evening. You were refusing to voice your thoughts aloud: you were already thinking about finding a new place to be from. “London’s not that far away from here, is it?”

“You have no family in London, and no friends,” Esme replied. “Y/N, just stop packing the goddamn suitcase.”

You snorted as you lit your cigarette. “It’s funny how no one around here gets that there’s a whole world outside of Small Heath.”

“Yeah, and there’s a whole world of rock bottoms outside of Small Heath,” Esme shot back, flat and unconvinced. “You gravitate towards shitholes, y’know. You’re only just gonna make life worse for yourself all over again.”

“I need to get out of here,” you repeated stubbornly, exhaling a thin plume of smoke. “For just a week.”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, this is going to go terribly,” Esme muttered under her breath, absently pouring a miniscule amount of the powdery white substance she had in a tiny vial onto her knuckle. “How are you not thinkin’ of the kids? Fuckin’ four of them and John still doesn’t know how to take care of them.”

You barely heard her; you were staring at the vial of cocaine.

You almost hesitated, but pointed at the table. “Bring it over here.”

Esme gave you a weird look, and there was a tense beat that made you think she wasn’t going to do it, but she pressed her knuckle to her nostril and sniffed with barely a flinch, then poured out a jagged line for you on the table behind her.

“Y/N, I…”

“It’s fine.”

You were already searching your back pockets for a bill, or some kind of thin object that could be rolled into a cylinder.

It didn’t feel good to do it, but one last time couldn’t hurt, right? You were a changed woman now, and you could control yourself - no matter how badly you wanted just another line, like you already knew you would.

Your freshly lit cigarette still burning between your two fingers, you rolled up the bill into a tight cylinder with the precision of someone who had done it hundreds of times before, leaned over the desk, and sniffed up a thin line of cocaine.

Like always, it hit you all at once, like a bolt of lightning. Oh, God.

And then everything became clear.

If there was one think you knew, it was that you were getting out of Small Heath tonight.

“Barely hit,” you muttered, looking up at Esme with dilated eyes. “Can I see the vial, please?”

//////

John was deep in the forest again, his bare feet caked in mud and moss and leaves, and he was going out of his mind with want.

“I miss you,” Martha purred like some long-lost, ethereal creature, and her cold, dainty hand glided around his shoulder. She had been circling him for the past ten minutes and yet her footsteps made no noise - she was pure magic, that woman was, and she smelled something sweet, like pound cake. Dizzy in her presence, John blinked hard as something in the depths of his mind purred happily, something primal and hidden blossoming to life, making him feel everything.

She was in her dress that she had worn to her wedding, the brilliant purple-pink wildflowers were braided into her hair like not a day had gone by, and John forgot that those flowers were actually dried and pressed into some obsolete book in the betting shop in the Parlour.

“Do you miss me?” she whispered, her cold hand on his other shoulder now, and John felt the skin there erupt into gooseflesh.

Martha sidestepped quickly, mystically as ever, and suddenly she was in front of him again. She had asked him a question, and he hadn’t answered.

Her hazel eyes glowed so brilliantly and ethereally that he was sure she made his blue Shelby eyes look hazel too, and he had to pause for a moment to take in her glittering beauty, her fair and freckled skin, her thin lips that had somehow been an insecurity of hers when she’d been alive, like they somehow hadn’t fit perfectly on her face and John hadn’t wanted to kiss them whenever he stared at them for too long.

John knew that he had opened his mouth to say something, but he wasn’t quite sure what had happened: either the words had come out as though he was underwater, a distorted, gibberish mess, or he had simply opened his mouth and not said anything at all.

He was suddenly aware of his heart pounding harder in his chest, and he tried to say, I do, I do, I do, but for some reason, the words couldn’t force their way past his lips.

“Clearly not, since you’re with that rat bitch,” Martha snarled, and it suddenly dawned on him that this wasn’t reality at all, not a lovely dream but a nightmare, and he started breathing hard until he was nearly hyperventilating, something like a panic attack settling in.

“No,” John tried to say, but his throat had closed off and he felt like he was screaming underwater. No. No. No.

This wasn’t the first time he’d felt something like this because he suffered from the soldier’s disease, but just because it was the hundredth time he’d experienced it didn’t mean it got any less terrifying. There was a whirlwind in his brain, a headrush so powerful like everything was incoherent, unreal, and he couldn’t– fucking– breathe—

“Kitchen towels!” Polly shouted from somewhere afar, scaring him awake. “For fuck’s sake, John, where are the bloody kitchen towels?”

John launched himself out of his chair and looked around: Polly wasn’t in his office, where he’d been sleeping for the past several weeks, but she was still shouting loud enough to be heard in the betting shop, so he straightened his cap and smoothed his rumpled suit like he hadn’t been asleep at all and hurried out of the door.

It’s too bloody early for this, he thought angrily.

When John got to the kitchen with the roll of kitchen towels from the betting shop, the first thing he noticed wasn’t Polly hurrying around with a broom, clearly agitated, or a cup of tea overturned everywhere on the kitchen’s pristine tile, but Esme standing in the open doorway of the Parlour, breathing hard, looking pale and panicked. He checked his watch. 6 AM. It was the middle of February; the sun hadn’t even risen yet. What the hell was going on?

He took another look at Polly, the cup of tea shattered on the floor, and Esme, his head swiveling back and forth between them like he was watching a ping-pong match. “Fucking hell, you lot, what’s the matter?”

His voice was groggy and dehydrated, but he blinked hard and tried to ignore it.

You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake.

“Y/N is fuckin’ missing, that’s the matter,” Polly snapped, venom seeping through her voice as she snatched the kitchen roll from his hands to clean up the mess of liquid and ceramic shards on the floor, “Esme here storms in at six o’clock in the bloody morning, tellin’ me all fuckin’ panicked that she woke up at the Lee house down the street and Y/N wasn’t there when she was spendin’ the night, and she was goin’ on about how she wanted to leave Small Heath before she fell asleep…”

A fresh round of cold, unsettling panic doused John, and seeing the darkening look on his face, Esme grimaced sympathetically at him. “A part of me thought she was joking, I tried to talk her out of it. I’m sorry, John.”

“Well, what’s done is done,” Polly snapped with the air that she was only becoming more pissed with every word Esme spoke, and straightening, she slammed the roll of towels on the counter and chucked the shards of ceramic into the garbage. “Gather Arthur and Tommy, we need to have the Blinders looking for her. The earlier we can find her, the better.”

He nodded.

“Arthur!” he bellowed down the hallway, without a care in the world for his kids or anyone else. “Get the fuck up!”

//////

Understandably, there were no trains running at three in the morning, the time you’d left a sleeping Esme at the Lee house on Watery Lane, so you simply shifted your bag higher on your shoulder and decided to find another place in Small Heath to camp out until the sunrise.

Still on your cocaine high, you refused to look at your reflection in the windows of the shopfronts you passed. You already felt disheveled and bloodshot, you didn’t need to see it.

Eventually, you settled on an alleyway some three blocks away from the station. You pressed your back against the wall and slid down it until you were sitting on the damp stretch of dirt, dead grass, and litter.

You moved your bag from your shoulder to your lap and inhaled sharply: if you were aware of your body for too long, the cocaine pain in your ribs made you feel like your entire body was on fire. You had a small bottle of vodka in your suitcase to ration, and you’d feel even better after a few burning gulps from the bottle, but you resolved not to start drinking at least until you got on the train.

The cocaine high would have to be enough for now, you decided.

You sighed as your head suddenly spun, and the hazy feeling of unreality settled deep into your chest, making your heart pound harder and harder until sweat was dampening the back of your neck. Your brain was throbbing hard, but euphoria pulsed through your entire body, and for that feeling alone, it was worth it.

God, cocaine was terrible, but simultaneously beautiful. You’d almost missed it.

Sure, you definitely hadn’t missed always feeling like you were on the verge of fainting, nor the aching and the itchiness and the cold liquid that seemed to bubble in your veins after you came down from your high, indicating that you were sober again, but whatever, it was three in the morning in a shitty corner of England, you were alone and staring up at the glinting stars in the sky, inhaling the ever-present scent of manure and cigarette smoke, and your cocaine-fucked brain promptly decided that nothing else mattered but this moment.

The year is 1920, you thought dumbly, in that same blearily existential way only someone who was extremely high could. Will people still appreciate the Earth’s beauty a hundred years from now?

You probably wouldn’t be around to see it, but you hoped they did, and you squinted up at the sky to scope out any possible constellations. You’d never had a chance to notice it before, but this was a Nevada kind of view, which made you think of a moment five years earlier where you were lying in the great expanse of desert beneath the stars, watching Sam’s chest slowly rise and fall as he slept, swiping at the mosquitos whenever they got too close.

You weren’t all that aware of it, but your entire face stretched into a tired smile, making your cheeks ache. Goddamn, I love cocaine.

The next moments passed in a blink: suddenly the sun was rising, and you were at the station again, and you couldn’t remember how you’d gotten a ticket in your hands but you were already carrying your things onto the train, and vaguely acting sober, you stumbled into the first empty carriage you saw, all while your body didn’t feel like your own and you were simply a spectator to your own activities.

Which, honestly, you preferred. You had no fucking time to regret any of this.

//////

“Y/N?” John shouted, shining a flashlight down the long, empty hallway of the old Lee house. He’d stomped in there the minute the car had rolled into the field, so fast and panicked that he hadn’t even bothered to turn on the lights, meaning the house was shrouded in darkness. “Y/N!”

“Are you absolutely sure you didn’t see her at the train station?” he heard Esme snap at some Blinder waiting outside.

“Why would I lie for the fuckin’ Garrison rat?” John heard him reply before he stepped out of range, and scowling, he burst into the bedroom Esme had said you’d slept in days ago.

It was stripped bare, not even your scent had been left behind, like you’d never been inside the room in the first place, which only made the dread crawling down his back worse.

You’re a fucking knobhead, John scolded himself, pivoting on his heel to exit the room. A fucking knobhead, you know that? What kind of husband has their wife walk out on them?

Regretting his excessive drinking and smoking, sleeping in his office, booking his favourite whore at Zhang’s, and avoiding his wife like the plague, John ran back onto the field with his knuckles aching to kill something.

He took his cap off to smooth his hair back. “She’s not there.”

“‘Course she’s not,” Esme said resignedly.

“Where the fuck would she had gone?” John shouted at her, resisting the urge to grab her and violently shake her, purely to keep the peace between the families. “Esme, did she tell you any place that she was wanting to go?”

Esme opened her mouth and closed it.

“London,” she whispered back, her eyes wide. “She told me she wanted to go to London.”

“London!” he yelled in disbelief, whipping around. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

“The trains start early in the morning,” she bit out, twisting her hands together. The Blinder beside her was staring at her, wide-eyed, as though trying to find a way to insert himself into the conversation, but both she and John ignored him. “John, if we can’t find her, that means she already went.”

Unadulterated rage swept through him, bitter and blinding, but John choked it down. “Fuck.”

Ducking out of the way so they wouldn’t see his glossy eyes, he started to stomp away. “Get back in the fucking car.”

//////

London was sprawling and gleaming when the train noisily rolled into the station, and in your threadbare, dirt-stained skirt and cardigan, you felt like you weren’t expensive-looking enough to fit in.

No matter, you told yourself, but the voice in your head was much too pleasant and lacking the predisposed anxiety and misery to truly sound like yourself. You can simply buy new clothes.

Plus, you already knew you weren’t planning on staying in London for long anyway.

You hummed a quiet but hopeful folk song you’d first heard at the Garrison to yourself as you retrieved your things from the compartment, your heart already pounding hard with excitement at the thought of leaving the train. As you hummed out what little lyrics you could remember, a pang of sadness hit your gut for the first time since you’d snorted cocaine: you’d miss Grace, but you were happy her beautiful voice had become engraved in your memory.

Her voice was yours to keep forever.

Smiling, you carried your bags through the narrow hallway and descended the train.

And sweet Jesus, the air of London smelled like the most refreshing summer breeze simply because of the absence of manure and furnace smoke. The station was still overcrowded with people, which normally would have alarmed you had you been sober, but this time you didn’t even care, it almost felt like you had snorted another few lines of cocaine as you waded through the onslaught of people, a dumb grin plastered on your face.

Girl, you are high as balls.

You caught sight of a husband waiting at the gate with a bouquet of flowers for his approaching wife, and quickly glanced away. You didn’t need anything like that to bother you right now.

“Airport?” you asked aimlessly to the people around you. “Does anyone know how to get to the airport from here?”

After a minute or two of wandering around and shouting among the onslaught of people, a man not much older than Tommy Shelby finally turned around.

“Airport?” he asked, squinting down at you. “You’ll need to go to Croydon.”

“Where is that?” you asked sweetly, layering on the Americana glitter in your charming Garrison rat voice, batting your eyelids at him. “It’s my first time in London, you see.”

The man smiled and extended his hand. “I can take you there, miss, for a fee. I’ll carry your things for you.”

“How much quid?” you asked absent-mindedly, peering down into your bag to find your change. “I can give you, uh, maybe twenty-”

“I’m not talking about money,” he cut in, and your head snapped up like a deer in headlights. How dare he, knowing that you had a very expensive wedding ring glistening on your fing–

You stopped yourself.

You weren’t wearing your wedding ring.

It was rolling around somewhere in the depths of your bag.

Time seemed to slow down and your heart pounded even faster, cocaine influence or not, but what shocked you the most was the odd sense of relief, making the ugly scar stretching across the length of your abdomen tingle.

Men still desired you.

With your head slightly spinning and the residue feeling of your body not being your own anymore, it was the most chilling reminder that you weren’t sober: you suspected that in any other state of mind, you would feel differently about this, but right now you didn’t care.

Wasn’t the whole point of coming to London that you didn’t want to feel chained by the Shelbys anymore?

“Take me there,” you heard yourself say after what felt like a century, and the man’s grin widened. “Of course, ma’am.”

Please protect me, God, a voice whispered in the depths of your mind, and accepting his outstretched hand, you let him guide you out of your train station.

//////

Tommy Shelby pushed the heavy mahogany doors of the Garrison open with a flourish, stepped into the pub, and promptly bellowed at the top of his lungs, “Everybody out!”

It had been bad enough losing his own love to a mind-boggingly similar situation two months ago, but Christ, how likely was it for John boy to go through the same goddamned thing? He wasn’t sure if he was impressed or annoyed. What had gotten into the women of today? Was this something he seriously had to be worried about?

The few number of patrons at 11 AM on a Wednesday morning quickly made themselves scarce with a frightened look on their faces, and for the first time that morning, Tommy had a chance to sigh before he approached the confused and frightened barmaids behind the bar.

After Grace, he felt a deep inner hatred more intensely than he had before her, and this morning was no exception.

“Have you seen Y/N Lee around these parts in the past few weeks, ladies? Y/N Shelby? The Garrison rat?”

The two barmaids looked at each other, puzzled, and one opened her mouth but promptly closed it.

“You,” Tommy said, pouncing on her. “Did you see the Garrison rat at all?”

“I…uh….” she stuttered, and Tommy cocked his head in anticipation for her words. Where was the easy grace that all of the barmaids seemed to have whenever a Blinder visited? “I…”

The barmaid gulped and stared at the floor. “She came in here once, lookin’ like a mess, and said she was getting out of here that night.”

“What kind of mess was she?” he pressed, leaning forward. “Drunk? Sniffing snow?”

“She - she was covered in blood,” the barmaid choked out, and he recognized the telltale signs of an anxiety attack as she started shaking. “Covered in blood. And vomit. And dirt. And twigs. And she had this…crazed look in her eyes. None of the drunks have it, so I knew she wasn’t drunk. She meant what she was saying with a burning passion. She wanted somebody dead.”

Tommy thought back to the night that pathetic boy was killed, the way he’d wailed and screamed and cried as John pummelled him. It had been a real mess when you’d ran off like that, and there was no signs that you’d even been bothered until before then.

He eyed the other barmaid, who was pale as a ghost.

“Go make a drink for your friend,” he told her. “Ma’am, what’s your name?”

“Edith,” the sniffling barmaid replied, staring at the floor.

“Edith,” Tommy repeated. “Well, Edith, thank you for your time, but I’m afraid that the Garrison rat has fulfilled her promise as of this morning.”

With a haunting sort of finality, he replaced his cap and turned on his heel to exit the Garrison.

//////

“Fuck!”

Before John could stop it, a long, frustrated, angry scream ripped out of his throat, and it was so loud within the confined space of his office that it made his own ears ring. He was the only one here now, and it had been that way for an hour: the rest of the family had gone out looking for his wife.

His vision suddenly blurry with tears, he punched his desk over and over again, screaming at the top of his lungs, his hands stinging, his heart pounding, everything spiralling out of control at once. All of his emotions had been pushed as far as they could possibly go ever since he woke up, and at 4 PM in the afternoon, this was the only opportunity he’d had to let them out.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

John felt blood trickling down his knuckles and he finally stopped, cursing, hating himself. Why did he have to be like this? He would feel nothing but indifference for weeks on end until it all came rushing out of him like an avalanche.

Well, some part of him knew this explosion was warranted. It was forever frustrating being back to square one: without a wife, without a stepmother to take care of his kids, without love and painfully aware that he was without Martha. 

It wasn’t the first time he’d felt it, but it was the first time the feeling seared through his chest like a volcano erupting: he’d wished he’d never had kids.

“Why am I so stupid?” John shouted at himself in the thick silence. “Fucking hell, why am I so fucking stupid?”

Get it out, some type of comforting voice told him in the back of his head. Get it all fucking out.

His knuckles were pouring blood now, screaming for bandages, but John leapt from his chair and shoved everything off his desk in a giant sweep.

He picked up an empty vase behind him and threw it as hard as he could at the wall, where it exploded in a shower of glass.

He ripped open all the cabinets of his desk and yanked out all of the files, lobbing them at the wall, throwing them on the ground, tearing them in half, and when that wasn’t enough, he lifted his office chair and pounded it into the ground as violently as he could.

“Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!”

He couldn’t even remember when he’d started screaming anymore, but his throat was raw as he lobbed the splintered, broken pieces of the chair at the wall.

His hands were covered in blood, and he had a sobering feeling that maybe he should stop now, but no matter how self-destructive he was being, the rage was addicting, and he was throwing various detritus from the wreckage as hard as he could at the wall. The rush of pain flooding to his knuckles was almost gratifying— thank God, he could still feel things. Even if he was feeling too much, he was feeling, and that was good.

Tears were streaming down his face, and when he tried to inhale through his nose, his nostrils were blocked with snot, but he couldn’t stop. His entire face was red from overexertion and his hands were bleeding and he couldn’t stop shaking and he couldntfuckingbreathe, like he was a little kid throwing a tantrum, and—

If his throat was raw when he’d had the energy to destroy things, it was nothing like how it felt now. “Fuck!”

Maybe this is how Y/N felt when she saw me kill that monarchist fucker, John thought dumbly, and he sank to his knees in his demolished mess of an office, a tide of regret crashing through him unlike anything before.

This feeling hit him like it was trying to kill him.

//////

The car was parked in the parking lot of the airport, and it hadn’t moved for the past ten minutes.

It was cramped, uncomfortable, and questionably damp, but the man who’d driven you there-- Billy, you’d since learned his name was--  wouldn’t buy the plane ticket for you until you gave him your payment, and you had nothing left to lose. With Paris being a hefty cheque away, a daring trip that you could just barely afford, you had weighed your options and promptly decided fuck it, just get it over with.

Without breaking eye contact with him, you licked a thick stripe up the underside of his length before pulling back to suck the tip, darting your tongue around it, producing the filthiest slurping sounds he’d ever heard as you bobbed around him. He wasn’t longer than John, but a little thicker, and it was an interesting change to feel how his cock felt in your mouth.

“Fuck,” Billy murmured, weaving a hand through your hair as you swiped his cock over your wet lips, teasing it over your warm mouth, smearing your red lipstick further down your chin. “Fuck, just like that - gonna - fuck-”

He came fast with barely a warning, warm droplets of come spilling onto your tongue. Knowing you were almost done, you wrapped a hand around his length to jerk him off, gulping him down as best you could while he kept his hand tight in your hair, ensuring that you swallowed every last bit.

Saltier, you noted. Well, that’s a bit disgusting.

//////

He had her on her back so he wouldn’t have to look at her, but it was still so hard to pretend that she was someone else: the dark curly hair spilling over her shoulders that looked nothing like her hair, the breathy little moans that fell from her lips that sounded nothing like hers, even the way her pussy squeezed his cock, they were all dead giveaways that she wasn’t who John desperately wanted her to be. And no matter how hard he tried, she wouldn’t be.

“Oh, God,” Esme moaned, grabbing the headboard to keep herself from falling over as John fucked into her just a little bit harder, and his hand was wrapped around her neck before he even registered it being there.

“Shut up.”

She wasn’t listening.

“Fuck, John, I’m gonna-” –With one hand on the headboard, she was furiously rubbing her clit now– “I think I’m gonna - oh fuck -”

She collapsed from underneath him as her orgasm rushed through her body, but in a split-second he’d yanked her upright by her hair, back to her original position, except her arms were pinned behind her back.

This was about control.

Fucking her even harder now, his voice was furious in her ear as he whispered:

“Next time you come, you’re gonna ask for my permission, yeah?”

//////

Paris was golden.

Golden and full of pickpockets, that was for sure. The one drawback of such a fashionable, progressive city, you had to keep a tight hold on your purse as you made your way to the closest bar, or the bar à cocktails, as you frequently heard the locals call it.

Three months into living in Paris, you fit right in with the people born and raised here: they tended to go all out in comparison to Birmingham, their wardrobes were fashionable, flashy, and fancy to the point where a floor-length dress, your most expensive pearl necklace, and a glittery headband had become your drinking attire. You couldn’t imagine the stares had you worn the Garrison rat’s usual outfit of trousers and a blouse anywhere in Paris. 

So, when it came down to it, you didn’t mind being bold, not at all. It was the années folles, after all, and life was good.

The same way British slang had slowly seeped into your vocabulary when you were an American trapped in Birmingham, your accent was starting to change the longer you stayed in Paris. Words like “quid” and “fucking hell” were slowly starting to disappear in your internal monologue, instead being replaced with “franc” and “merde”. Eventually, your American accent wrapped around the French words you spoke with a kind of ease, your thoughts came to you in French more than they did in English, and it dawned on you one day that you couldn’t have imitated the sweetness of the Garrison rat’s voice if you tried.

Honestly, you couldn’t care less. Maybe it was for the better.

You gently pushed open the glass door to the bar and, smoothing your dress, walked inside.

Lilting jazz, warm golden light, quiet conversation, respectful barmaids, a wide array of bottles at the bar, and best of all, sparsely populated. You loved coming to this place— you were already a couple of shots in, of course, but you enjoyed the French stuff.

You carefully sat down on your usual barstool to the left of the barmaid and calmly told her, “Comme d’habitude.”

She nodded without looking at you, emotionless. “Pas de problème.”

You settled back onto the stool, content to think about nothing for a moment as your drink was being made, but you sensed him approaching you before you saw him. Even though you had to tell yourself that you weren’t the Garrison rat anymore, that mysterious charm hadn’t been lost on the men of Paris, clearly.

The new man— dark hair, gray eyes, nothing remarkable — sat on the stool to your direct left, with the kind of forced confidence that immediately told you he had to practice it before coming over to sit with you, and you refused to look at him.

The barmaid slid a shot over to you, and the mysterious new man held up his hand, as though to intercept you from paying. “Je vais le payer.”

Looking anywhere but his face, you didn’t stop him as he handed over a fistful of coins to the barmaid.

Why should you? It was free drinks. That was welcomed in Las Vegas, New York City, Small Heath, and Paris.

As the barmaid walked away to attend to a new customer, his attention was on you now.

“Vous venez souvent dans ce bar.”

It was a statement, not a question. You looked at him, your face completely blank, and said nothing.

He smirked at you. “Vous aimez cette musique, oui? Le jazz est toujours beau. Bon pour danser.”

When you still said nothing, growing slightly frustrated now, he asked, “Quelle est votre histoire?”

You scoffed, and finally decided to speak.

“C’est une longue histoire. Une trop longue histoire. La seule chose que je sais, c’est que je ne tomberai plus jamais en amour, donc si vous pensez m’inviter à danser, n’essaie pas.”

The man looked at you for a long moment, before getting up from the stool and walking away— wordless, the kind of complicated look on his face that you didn’t understand. And it pissed you off, really, not understanding why he had the audacity to look hurt.

With the drunken blurriness of your vision, as the man retreated into the distance, his silhouette seemed to be absorbed by the gleaming, golden light, and you let out a low sigh of relief as you were left alone again. Alone with your thoughts.

You turned back to the bar and found yourself lost in the murky depths of your drink that he’d paid for. Through the haze, you blearily noticed that you’d started thinking in English again. Blunt and short sentences, but still: English.

I’m never going to love again.

//////

AUGUST 1920 - SMALL HEATH, BIRMINGHAM

I’m never going to love again, thought John as he stared moodily across the length of the merry Garrison. Grace may not have been there anymore, but the roaring folk songs every night had remained in her memory, and someone had clearly written a new one for the drunks to sing.

The only person there that wasn’t singing, John couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He wasn’t in the mood to act as though there weren’t any horribly-concealed glances in his direction every few minutes. Though, as time went on, they were becoming lesser and lesser, the Garrison rat was disappearing into a mythical woman that belonged to the folklore of Small Heath. Honestly, in the months without her, sometimes it was hard to believe that she had ever truly lived.

The song roared on.

“Oh, the Garrison rat, the Garrison rat, she left at twilight and we haven’t seen her since that…”

[melanneco]

I Love You So

Kate Bishop x Reader

Trigger Warnings: angst / breaking up

Word Count: 1010

Synopsis: Fic based off of I Love You So by The Walters. Reader finds it hard to stay in a relationship after Kate spends too much time away from her due to being an Avenger.

Masterlist | Anne

Requests are open. :)

Before Kate joined the Avengers, (Y/n) had structure in her life. She didn’t have to lie in bed for several nights, wondering if Kate was okay, she never had to watch the news in fear Kate had died, and she never had to spend weeks in an apartment in downtown New York without her. Now, she was laying in bed, tears streaming down her face as she worried about the way Kate had to abruptly end their call hours ago. Of course, she had Lucky keeping her company and providing her with comforting cuddles, but it wasn’t helping to the extent she needed. She remembered how just a couple months ago, they were still in college and Kate had just invited her to live with her. She never knew how so many things could change from then to Christmas and then Christmas to now. Kate was never home. She was off helping those in need without care over herself. 

It was a bit funny. The one person who needed Kate the most wasn’t any single person on the Earth except (Y/n). She needed Kate so badly it was beginning to get so much. So, as she laid in bed that night, she decided that she couldn’t take anymore. She wasn’t going to give Kate an ultimatum. Kate’s dream was always to join the Avengers, and (Y/n) wasn’t going to ruin that. She has never seemed happier. Not even with her. The decision hurt, but she knew it was the right thing to do. She couldn’t ruin Kate’s dream. The thing Kate has wanted and trained for her whole life. In the end, no matter the inner argument, every solution came down to their break up. It wasn’t the solution she wanted, but it was the only one that would work.

By the time Kate made it home later the next day, (Y/n) had packed her things. “What’s going on?” Kate asked, putting down her bag, looking at (Y/n). (Y/n) sighed, reminding herself she can’t cry in front of Kate. “Why have you packed your stuff?” Kate said, grabbing (Y/n)’s hand, gently pulling the suitcase from it to remove the items. (Y/n) stopped her though, the look letting Kate fully realize what was going on. She was breaking up with her. Shaking her head quickly, tears sprung into her eyes as she stared at (Y/n), sinking onto her couch. “I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong? Please don’t go. I can fix it. Please stay.” Kate begged, taking (Y/n)’s hands. (Y/n) accepted Kate’s hands but Kate knew she was still going to leave. There was a look that told her that she didn’t change her mind.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, (Y/n) looked into Kate’s blue eyes with a watery smile. “I’ve made up my mind, Kate. I was a fool to think that dating an Avenger would work. You’re gone so much. And I’m happy for you. This is your dream. I’m not going to stand in the way of something you’ve worked your whole life for. You work for fucking Clint Barton. Your hero. You’re going to do great things. I am, too. Just somewhere else in the world. You’ve outgrown me, Kate, and that’s okay. I’m proud of you.” (Y/n)’s hands cupped Kate’s cheeks as she wiped away the tears running down them. “You’ve blossomed into such a beautiful flower. Thank you for letting me grow with you.” (Y/n) closed the suitcase that Kate had opened upon arrival before heading to the door.

Kate sat in shock, hesitating momentarily to get up. She couldn’t imagine her life without (Y/n). How could she? (Y/n) gave her life a sense of meaning, structure. But maybe she had gone too far from (Y/n)’s reach. No, she could never. “Wait,” Kate called as (Y/n) began to open the door. She was trying not to hyperventilate from crying. “I love you. Please don’t go, please stay here with me. We can make it work! I can talk to Clint.” Kate scrambled over to the girl. She knew it was her dream, but maybe she could give it up for (Y/n). Right?

“Kate,” it came out in a whisper, almost dreamlike. “Please let me go. You need to let me go. You would resent me for leaving the Avengers. Let me go while we still have good memories between us. Let this be our only bad one. We tried, but we failed. Now, go. Be great.” Kate knew she was right, she would. But she didn’t want to. She wanted it all to work. But, again, she was right. They tried, and they failed. Kate looked at (Y/n) for a long moment, (Y/n) trying to tear her eyes away. It was hard. She was never good at looking away from Kate. She was known for those eyes that (Y/n) always found herself getting lost in.

Kate slowly took her hand. Instinctively, their fingers intertwined. “One last kiss and then I’ll do it. I’ll let you go.” Their hearts grieved for each other as they leaned in, their lips colliding together messily. Still, they took their time. They both knew this was the end. No matter how much they loved each other, they had to let go. The kiss was salty with tears from the both of them, but it didn’t matter to them. Pulling away slowly, (Y/n) reached over to push away some hair behind Kate’s ear, soaking in the girl in front of her. Then, slowly, they parted ways. Kate watched as (Y/n) walked out of the door and down the hall before her body disappeared behind a corner. Her heart sank, knowing she wasn’t coming back. Closing the door, she turned around, her back pressing against the wood as she slid down. It was then she once more let herself go. How could she truly let go when she loved her so?

[codychristiantreasures]

Only you (1/2)

18+

This is 5 seconds of angst followed by a split second of fluff and then topped off with some naughtiness. I have been trying to make this better all day but it is what it is..

Warnings: some light swearing, arguing & a bit of angst, a bit of smut (not super descriptive but it’s there), bad writing? (Don’t hate me for it)

“Cody, that’s not what I’m saying! Don’t put words in my mouth!” “Well it sure sounds like that’s what you’re saying! You know it can get crazy during filming!” “Yeah I know. I was just saying that I wish you would choose to spend a little more of your free time with me!” “This is my job! These are my coworkers! It was a couple hangouts the last couple weeks. All my other time is spent with you! What more do you want from me!?” “Nothing, Cody. Nothing.” You sighed “Forget I said anything.” You said as you went upstairs to your shared room. The sound of Cody climbing the stairs right behind you telling you this wasn’t over yet. “It’s funny that now it’s an issue. You weren’t complaining when I got you those over priced shoes for your birthday or all those different designer things I got you for Christmas or when we go to all those expensive restaurants. My job and me not being home all the time didn’t matter then did it!?” “You’re unbelievable.” You shook your head, walking over to your closet. “I dont care about the money Cody! I want you. I dont give a shit if we’re at the most expensive restaurant in LA or in our pajamas on the couch eating pizza. I just want you!” You said throwing the things he bought you in his direction. “Take it all. I don’t want it.” You turned back to the closet to grab something else “and clearly you don’t see that so I’m goin-“ you stopped mid sentence as you went to throw something else to where he was standing. Cody had crossed the room and was now standing right in front of you. “What? You’re going to leave?” He asked, slowly backing you up against the wall. “You’re not leaving. You’re right. I’m sorry. I should be spending more time with you. I have been so out of it lately because they’re really working us to catch up from the missed time during the strike. I didn’t mean what I said. I’m just so tired and I was upset and it just came out. I’m not making excuses I’m just…I’m so sorry, baby.” He said, putting his hand on the wall beside your head and looking into your eyes. “But you said it, Cody. There must be some truth behind it if it came out so easily.” You looked down, an effort to hide how you were feeling from Cody. Yes you were upset with him and hurt by what he said but the current position he had you in was turning you on. He gently tilted your head up so you would look at him. “It’s not true. I know you love me for me and not the perks. You support me through everything and show me so much unconditional love. I really am so sorry.” You finally made eye contact and he immediately recognized the look in your eyes. “Let me show you how much I love you.” He whispered in your ear. A shiver ran down your back as you felt his warm breath softly hitting your neck. He kissed across your shoulder to your collarbone before stopping. “Do you want to do this right now?” “God yes. Please.” He pushed you further into the wall with his body weight pressed up against you. You let out a faint moan as his hand found the back of your neck and he kissed you with pure passion. You could feel him smirk into the kiss, knowing he’s mentally patting himself on the back. He picks you up and you immediately wrap your legs around his waist while holding onto his broad shoulders. You could feel how turned on Cody was getting through his sweats and you couldn’t take it anymore. “I need you. Right now.” He gently placed you on the bed and started taking his clothes off while you threw yours off. Standing at the end of the bed, he took a second to admire your body. “Wow.” he mumbled under his breath. “You going to stand there and stare or are you going join me Mr. Christian?” He smirked and climbed on top of you.

[magician-kitty]

Monkie Kid: Hurtful Words

Context: They say you should choose your next words wisely, because it will hurt. Red Son says some hurtful things to his girlfriend, Morgan(My Oc).

This is my very first oneshot so, bear with me.

(Warning: Angst, implied Infidelity)

Oh, and one more thing: Morgan is mute, so her speaking will be Bolded.

Red Son was mad.

Really….Really, Mad.

Their you were, his sweetheart, his dearest flower.

Laughing and hanging out with that…that…NOODLE BOY!!

Red Son growled In anger as he watched Morgan and MK talking. Lately the two of you didn’t spend enough time with each other as he was busy helping his parents, and with her working at her aunt’s bakery. He finally had some time for himself and what better way he thought was to go see her.

And what do you know, you’re hanging out with his enemy. He couldn’t believe it, He finally gets a chance to spend time with her and she’s being all buddy-Buddy with MK.

He couldn’t take much more of this and marched right up to them, he cleared his throat.

Red Son: “Morgan, could I have a word with you. Alone”

Morgan looked with a confused look on her face, glanced over to MK who took a hint to give them some privacy.

Morgan: “Okay, Red Son”

She yelped when he takes her hand, leading her outside of the noodle shop. He stands in front of her with an angry expression, arms crossed and tapping his foot on the ground.

Red Son: “I can’t believe you. You were hanging out with that noodle boy peasant! And with his dumb, peasant companions!”

Wait, Seriously?

This is what he wanted to talk about? Morgan couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Okay fine maybe he told her about staying away from MK, as due to their rivalry or something. But when she finally met the Monkie Kid he wasn’t that bad. In fact, Morgan found him to be quite the sweetheart.

He’s funny, brave, real sweet, and he was great with noodles! Who could possibly hate this cutie lil’ dumpling she thought. She honestly couldn’t see the big deal was why her boyfriend couldn’t stand him.

Morgan: “Look Sweetie, I was just hanging out with the guy. He’s actually a pretty fun guy from where I’m standing.”

The Bull Prince scoffed as he rolled his eyes. Oh, so now he’s sweet Honestly he knew the two of you weren’t around each other lately but was that a reason for her to go and leave him for his enemy.

Red Son: “Oh that’s rich! My lady friend wants to spend time with my enemy. The one I’ve been trying to destroy for weeks. I guess you simply just got tired of me and go for that Monkey boy now, is that it?! Like peasant like peasant I suppose!”

Morgan gasped and went wide eyed at his at his accusation. Did he seriously believe that she was cheating on him!? Is that why he’s acting like this?

Morgan growled as her fangs started to show, eyebrows furrowed as tears were starting to show.

(Crunch)

Red Son yelped and hunched over in pain as she suddenly grabbed him by the…Family jewels. This wasn’t the first time she had done it to him though, and it certainly wouldn’t be his last.

She leaned down his level, still holding him by the lower regions, who was starting to turn blue.

Morgan: “When you wanna stop acting like a jealous ass, give me a call”

She had let go of him and walked away from him. Red Son fell to his knees in pain and held onto his genitals. When he finally regained himself he gasped as you began to walk away from him. He reached his hand out calling to her

Red Son: “Morgan, wait Morgan!”

Morgan continues to move away from him, wiping the tears streaming from her face. She couldn’t care to look at him; she just wanted to get away from him.

Red Son stood there in shock as she was finally out of his sight. He stared down at the ground and punched it in anger.

He felt awful, he felt guilty. How could he say such things to her, to the most wonderful person who’s made him happy in a long time.

One thing he’s certain…He may have just lost the best thing that ever happened to him.

(The End. Was it good? Bad? Bit of Both?)

[scarlettriot]

Take You Home

Pairing: Bakugo x Kirishima x F!Reader

Warnings: Smut, minors, and ageless blogs DNI. Non-Sexual Masochism (Could be considered self-harm). Nightmares and sleep walking (fighting). Blood. Burns. Swearing.

Contains: Established Poly Relationship. Porn with Plot. Hurt/Comfort. Angst! Soft dom tendencies, Kat & Kiri are switches, nipple play, biting, unprotected sex, voyeurism (kinda). Bondage. Restraints (rope). Oral (F receiving & M receiving implied). The guys fuck, it's not all about Reader. Pet names/nicknames: baby, baby girl, little one, cutie, babe.

Summary: In high school, you started up a relationship with two boys in the hero course. Now, years down the road, you three are still going strong, but, every relationship has troubles to overcome.

A/N: This follows the same storyline from Head Over Heels. But if you just want to dive into this, all you really need to know is that Reader met Katsuki and Eijiro when she was assigned to work with them as a part of her Support Course program. Now she's an inventor while the two of them are pros. Additional Fun Fact: I named this fic after a song I constantly listened to while writing it, if you'd like to give it a listen it's called Take You Home by Scars on 45. Enjoy!

W/C: 8,022

If these walls could talk, they’d tell you of Katsuki’s screams. The nightmares that you and Eijiro had to pull him from multiple nights a week. Neither of you minded though, you’d do anything for each other. To the public you might have all been friends, there’d even been reports of the three of you being roommates, but behind closed doors, it’d been something much more for a long time now. 

The twenty-three-year-old pro hero had seen so much for his young age, both he and Eijiro had, but Katsuki internalized it far more than Eijiro did. The blonde never liked to talk about the demons that haunted him. He knew you and Eijiro would listen and never judge him but, it wasn’t ever easy for him to admit something might be making him weak. He couldn’t show it, not even to you guys. 

But that meant it spilled over into his unconscious, into his sleep, bleeding into nightmares that sounded truly horrific. 

Some nights were worse than others but you and Eijiro had always been able to bring him back from them with soft voices and soothing touches… until the night you couldn’t.  

You never slept particularly well when just one of the boys was home so since Eijiro was still out on patrol (on his way home, you hoped), you were really just laying with your eyes closed when you started to hear Katsuki’s little whimpers and felt his feet start to kick free of the blanket. 

You rolled into his side, kissing up the side of his neck, “Baby… it’s okay, just a bad dream. You can wake up now.” 

But Katsuki didn’t wake up. His brow tightly furrowed together. Sweat pouring off of him. It took a little bit of effort but you were able to roll him onto his back and take his face between your palms. “KitKat, come on, baby. Time to wake up.” That had no effect either. 

So, you resorted to other tactics. Dipping your head low, “Kick their ass, Dynamight. You got ‘em.” 

There’d been nights when that had been enough. One of you telling him he could win the fight inside his head, he could overcome it, and then he’d settle back down into a still slumber. But, not tonight. No, tonight his eyes shot open so fast you were taken aback. Red eyes staring at you so unnervingly, unblinking, and it sent a chill right down your spine. “Baby…” You whispered but he didn’t answer, “Kat? This isn’t funny.” He slowly sat up, his hands wrapping tight around your wrists, pushing you up with him. “Katsuki! I’m serious! Knock it the fuck off!” 

You tried to pull your hands free but his grip was too strong, the more you jerked only caused you pain. Finally, his eyes blinked, just once, taking in the rest of the room and it clicked. He still wasn’t awake. 

“Please, baby, please. I need you to wake up now.” His eyes blinked back to you while you struggled even more in his grasp. "Katsuki! Come on!"

“Like I give a fuck what a villain like you needs.” 

Your scream filled the bedroom. Two explosions surrounded your wrists and the next thing you knew you were thrown off the bed and back slammed onto the rug at the foot of the bed with scalding wrists. He wasn’t as quick in his sleep though. Disoriented almost. It gave you enough time to run from the room and thrust the door shut behind you. 

Your work was strewn about the living room and kitchen like it usually was and you scanned it for anything that could be used to help. And then you spotted the prototype binding cloth you’d been working on for Shinso. It wasn’t finished, not by a long shot but it was something. 

You didn’t have the experience Katsuki did but Eijiro and him had spent years training with you. Wanting you to be prepared in case anything should ever happen. You never thought you’d have to use those skills against your own boyfriend though. 

The bedroom door blasted right off the hinges, bits of wooden shrapnel showered down while you took cover behind the sofa. “Where are you! Not lettin’ you ‘scape!” 

As quietly as you could manage you crawled your way around the sofa to try and get a better view of him when he spotted you. Lips turned up in a snarl that you’d hoped to never be on the receiving end of.

You rolled out of the way just as half the couch was blown to bits. 

“Ava!” You called for the AI you’d created for your home and saw the device light up, “Call Sharky!” It chirped happily and Kat turned to try and find the noise while the phone rang, blindly firing off blasts. 

“Hey ba- Y/N!” 

“Ei! Nightmares! Get home! N— !” A blast finally landed on the bookshelf that Ava was resting on and it shattered against the wall.

Eijiro was sure he’d never run faster in his whole entire life. Cursing at himself for staying late to finish up paperwork rather than just going right home after his patrol. He dropped absolutely everything the moment he heard you on the call. The pen fell right out of his hand, he just grabbed his bag for the sake of his wallet and keys, and then he was gone. Running down the steps to get down to his car as fast as he possibly could. 

It was an emergency, not an official one, but he could justify driving like a mad man if it meant keeping the two people he loved most in this whole entire world safe. He barely stopped at traffic lights and stop signs, only long enough to ensure no one was coming, and then he was speeding through. 

He could feel his heart hammering in his chest, panic rising with every minute it took him until he was pulling into the driveway, leaving everything in the car, and racing for the door. “Baby!” 

Everything was quiet, so unbelievable quiet, and that terrified him even more. “In the bathroom, Eiji.” 

He could have cried from just the sound of your voice, following it through the wreckage that was now your shared home. He froze when he saw Katsuki on the bed, eyes closed with hands bound. “I— I had to knock him out… Eijiro, he— baby, he wouldn’t wake up—!” 

His arms were around you in seconds, and he felt your tears against his bare chest the moment he pulled you in. “’S okay, love. You did what you had to do.” He ran a shaky hand down your back, “You were just defending yourself, I know that, and Kat will too.” 

After a couple minutes, he pulled you back to look you over. Instantly, he saw the burns on your forearms and tried not to wince in sympathy. You also had a few pieces of wood embedded in your shoulder, and a cut along your jaw that was still bleeding. “C’mon, lemme get you cleaned up, and then we can worry about Kat.” When you didn’t move from the spot though, eyes still fixated on Katsuki, Eijiro picked you up and carried you right over to the sink so you could sit on the counter. 

He thoroughly scrubbed his hands before slipping on gloves, working on getting the pieces out of your arm first and then flushing the little wounds. Then came the cut on your face which, wasn’t all that bad, just bleeding a good amount. He put a little ointment on it, cooing softly at you knowing that it stung, “Doing s'good, baby, almost finished here.” 

When all the obvious injuries were tended to, he took a step back. “Alright, anything else?” 

You shook your head and he saw the way you winced when you slid off the counter, probably just sore from the whole ordeal. You squeezed by him, walking back into the bedroom. He watched as you climbed right on the bed and undid the binds around Katsuki’s wrists since he was now home. You scooted up by his head and shifted it so he lay in your lap, your fingers carding through his hair and Eijiro had to pretend he didn’t see the tears that fell from your eyes. 

He gave you a minute while he went into the walk-in closet and changed out of his suit. He’d just slipped a shirt over his head when he heard the incoherent grumble of Katsuki and he hadn’t even made it back to the bedroom before the, “What the fuck!” shook the house. 

Fear pumped through his veins when he smelled the air. His sweat always left behind a distinct aroma and the air in was heavy with it. Quicker his heart started to race, his eyes darting around and landing on you, on the cut you didn’t have when the two of you had gone to bed. And… fuck, those were tears in your eyes. 

He rolled over immediately and realized it was more than just a cut on your jaw. He swore, trying to figure out what happened and when your eyes squeezed shut from his volume, the way your whole body tensed from it, damn, he wanted to puke. 

“Katsuki…” His head snapped to Eijiro silhouetted in the golden bathroom light. 

“What did I do?” 

Neither of you were able to stop him from leaving. Eijiro could have, the three of you knew that the redhead could have used force and made him stay but he begged, actually begged, for you two to let him go for the night. Just for the night, he promised. He needed to think, had to clear his head and process what had happened. He’d be back in the morning, made the both of you swear you wouldn't clean anything up. This was his mess. He’d fix it. 

He’d kissed Eijiro, pressing his forehead against his. “First thing in the morning.” 

“You better be here, man.” 

Katsuki wiped a tear that rolled down his boyfriend's cheek. “I will.” 

When he looked at you though, no words came out of his mouth. He couldn’t think of what to say, there were too many thoughts screaming in his head that he just turned and walked out the door. Your choked sobs followed him out to his car. 

That night he stayed at the agency, pulled a blanket over him, and laid on the black sofa in his office but didn’t sleep a wink. He barely even closed his eyes. Each time he did all he could see were those white bandages covering your forearms, the gauze on your face and shoulder. He knew there had to be bruises under the baggy nightshirt you wore and all of it was his fault. 

Days trickled by and Katsuki did as he said. Every moment that he wasn’t working was spent on repairs to your home, a home he didn’t allow himself to stay in. He’d installed a new bedroom door first and then put up new cabinets since he’d blasted the old ones to pieces. He patched the walls, replaced floorboards and carpeting, built a new bookshelf, and bought new furniture for the living room but didn’t allow himself to enjoy any of it. 

And if you were there, well, he was not. He avoided you as best he could. It was almost like before the three of you got together. Katsuki just couldn’t find a way to make peace with what he’d done. You might have forgiven him, you did forgive him, told him so at least a hundred times, but he never responded once because he had no idea how he could forgive himself. The pain in your eyes each time he walks away breaks his heart more and more. 

He doesn’t need Eijiro telling him how much you want him to come home, he’s gotten all your texts, he would fall into a fitful sleep listening to your voicemails. The only thing that gives him any solace at all is the fact that Eijiro is there with you every single night. He knows you miss him and he misses you too, so damn badly, but how can he trust himself to be like that around you again? 

Things could’ve been so much worse. All things considered, he’d been lucky! How could he so carelessly allow himself back into your life, your home, your bed, when he knows he could do so much worse to you? What kind of boyfriend would he be!

He talked almost daily with Eijiro about it. Like, maybe one day he’d hold all the answers that could fix these wrongs. It’d been two months though and neither of them came up with a solution. They’d just sit in one of their offices after the rest of the floor had cleared out. Eijiro’s arms holding Katsuki tight while he tried to work through this. 

There were nights when that was all they’d do. Sit, talk, hug, and cry. There were others where Eijiro would try to take his boyfriend’s mind off things, sink to his knees and let Katsuki work out his frustrations by using his mouth. And, a couple of times, Katsuki pleaded with him to help him forget. Those nights left scuff marks on the floors, papers scattered about the room, the desk practically bare with Katsuki bent over it. By the end though, Eijiro was able to lay Katsuki down on the sofa, cover him up with the blanket, and kiss his forehead before heading home to you. 

There’d never been jealousy from any of you when it came to getting physical when one of you couldn’t partake. Sometimes Eijiro’s quirk left his body too sore, or Katsuki had a killer headache, or you were just too tired from a long day of work. So, you weren’t jealous when Eijiro came home with fresh scratches on his back, in fact, you were a little relieved. At least Katsuki still felt comfortable with one of you. 

You just wished you could find a way to make him trust you again. 

After three months of late nights and about a dozen different prototypes, you might have found the answer you’d been searching for. 

This whole time you’d never gone up to his office. You hadn’t dared try to speak to him at work, not wanting to distract him or make him angry but you knew he’d been sleeping here. Knew that even though his shift was over, this was where he would be. 

It was always Eijiro who’d check on him but, tonight, you asked him if you could do it and he fully supported the idea. He’d been trying to bridge the gap between you two this entire time so just the smallest hint there might be some progress happening made him giddy! 

You waited until everyone else on his floor had left for the evening and then rode the elevator up with a small box between your hands. Katsuki was the only office to have a light still on. He had the door already shut, blinds drawn to cover the glass walls but you could see his shadow sitting at his desk, a pen in hand, shuffling papers from one pile and then into another. 

When you knocked on the door, all movement stopped. “Since when do you knock? Just open the door.” 

He was expecting Eijiro, you knew that. You could have just opened the door and walked inside but, you weren’t confident that was the right thing to do, so, you raised your hand and knocked again. 

“For fucks sake,” The chair rolled back and Katsuki flung the door open a second later, “What are y—“ He had to lower his gaze to meet yours, “Oh…” 

“Will you let me in, Kat, please.” 

“I don’t think—“ 

“Please. We need to talk.” 

He didn’t want to. The way his jaw ticked told you as much, but, by some miracle, he let you by him. 

You sat on the sofa beside the folded up blanket with the pillow on top while he leaned against his desk, head tipped downward, eyes fixed on the floor. Neither of you spoke for a while, you had a whole speech prepped but now that you were in the same room with him the words wouldn’t come out. 

In the end, it was Katsuki who broke the silence with a sentence so quiet you were almost sure you didn’t hear him correctly. “I know why you’re here… can I just— I’d like to keep seeing Eijiro, please?” 

You blinked and tried to figure out what he was talking about. “What do you mean, Kat. Of course, you can keep seeing Eiji! Why would I want you to—“ 

“’Cause we’re over!” He blurted and all the color drained from your face while he kept talking, “We’re over and, and, you’ve just got Ei now which is fuckin’ great because you, you should have him but I just, damnit, I need him right now too, okay? I won’t ask him to stay over, I want him with you every night, just need him with me a little bit.” 

You were still stuck on the three words he said first, “We’re over?” 

“That’s why you’re here. Surprised you actually came in person. A text or telling Eijiro to tell me woulda been more than I fuckin’ deserve.” 

“Hold on!” You stood up so fast it knocked the box you’d been holding right off your lap. “You couldn’t be more wrong!” 

You took a step closer to Katsuki and he tried to take one backward but he was already against his desk. He managed to scrape the thing across the floor trying to keep distance between you two. You wanted to walk closer, walk right up to him and wrap your arms around him, to feel him again, but seeing that reaction had you stopped in place. “I didn’t come here to break up. I’m here because I want you to come home— no, I need you to come home.”

“You do not need me.” 

“That’s crap! I need you, Eiji needs you! ‘S not home without you there!” 

His voice rose louder than your own. “I cannot be there! Not with you! What if I fucking hurt you worse, huh? Then what! What if you couldn’t stop me next time!” 

You folded your arms over your chest. “Sounds an awful lot like you’re the one doing the breaking up.” His mouth hung open, ready to keep arguing until you said that. “So, is that what you’re doing, Katsuki? Didn’t think you’d give up so easily.” 

“You think this is easy? This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done! Aren’t you scared? How can you feel comfortable around me after that?” 

“Because I know for a fact you would never, ever, hurt me in your right mind. You would do absolutely everything in your power to protect me and make sure I am safe.” 

“And what about when ‘m not in my right mind? When those nightmares take over?” 

“That’s what these are for.” You scooped up the box from the floor and held it out to him. You were going to make him meet you if he wanted to know what was inside. He needed to make an effort.

It took him a second but then his feet moved. He was so careful to make sure not even your fingertips brushed as he took it from you. “You think some fuckin’ gloves are gonna keep you safe? Yeah, right. Thought you were smarter than that.” 

“I take offense to that. These aren’t just some fuckin’ gloves,” You sassed right back at him, “These are how I’m gonna get you to come home again.” He arched a skeptical brow. “I’ve been working on these since the day you left,” You took a step forward and this time he remained rooted to the spot, “I actually got out of bed and started sketching designs that same night. Fell asleep at the table, Eiji carried me back to bed...” That seemed so long ago now. 

There was about a foot of space between you and him. “I knew you wouldn’t come home without some plan in place so, this is my plan. I’ve done all I can on my own but I need you to actually test them out. My simulations can only tell me so much.” 

Katsuki set the box down on his desk still looking unconvinced but he slid the black and orange gloves on his hands. Flexing his fingers to test the mobility, “They kinda feel like my hero gloves.” 

“I modeled the fabric that touches your skin after the lining, you’ve always said you liked how cool it feels on your skin.” 

“But, I can shoot through my gloves just fine, I don’t see how—“ 

“Would you just trust me! Do I half-ass any of my inventions?” 

“No…” 

“Do I plan things meticulously when I’m making something?” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay then. If you must know, when I say, ‘I modeled it after’, I mean that where your hero costume gloves only make your hands seem cooler, these will actually make them colder. The cooler you are, the less sweat you will produce, and therefore your explosions will be contained.”

“Contained within the gloves?”

“That’s the goal.” 

He bit his lower lip. “Can we go to the lab now?”

A smile spread across your face and quickly fell when you made to grab his hand and he quickly pulled it out of reach. “I’m not touching you until we test these.” 

When Katsuki went into the controlled chamber, you took a moment to text Eijiro and let him know how the evening was going so far. That you both were alright and Katsuki was open to the gloves. To say the redhead was thrilled was an understatement. 

You kept a close eye on the temperature gauge to ensure it was regulating properly. There was a specific threshold you needed to make sure it would stay between, too high or too low would create problems in different ways. 

Inside the chamber, Katsuki did everything he could think of to work up a sweat and the rest of his body was soaked but his hands remained chilled. 

You didn’t tell him absolutely everything you’d done with the gloves, mostly because he always got bored with the science of it all. There was the cooling element, and the temperature regulation gauge but the outer two layers were meant for containment.

Even if he managed to build up a decent amount of sweat he shouldn’t be able to fire off any grand explosions with the gloves on and, so far, that seemed to be the case. There were a few minor ones that probably would have caused serious damage had the gloves been off, other than that though, things seemed to be working just as you intended. 

It was almost two hours before Katsuki took a break. Breathing heavily when he walked back out to you. “That was great! Better than I hoped for a fir— oof!” 

With the gloves still on, Katsuki pulled you to him, drawing you up so he could kiss you. The salty taste of sweat lingered on his lips and you didn’t care a single bit because he was holding you again, he was kissing you again. One of his gloved hands rested against your cheek and you wished for a second you could feel his familiar callouses underneath but this was more than enough for now. 

“I fuckin’ love you,” He murmured, pressing his lips to you again, “’S much,” It was like he was trying to make up for lost time, “Thank you f’not givin’ up on me.” 

It was your turn to rest your hands on his cheeks. “I will never give up on you, I promise.” 

You got lost in each other a little while longer, breaking apart with heaving chests and swollen lips, “So,” The scientist in you came out, “any concerns?” 

“Just one. If I do somethin’ like last time, what’s stopping me from just yankin’ these off?” 

That was another feature you forgot to mention. You walked back to your station and held up a little remote. “I made three of these.” You pointed to a specific button, “I push this and a locking feature is activated. I used Eijiro’s grip strength as a reference for it. Only one button on one of the remotes is needed for it to be activated but both remotes are needed to deactivate it. So, if you break it, you’re kinda screwed until one of us can get here and use the backup.” 

He nodded, deeming your answer good enough. He finally removed the gloves and you stared at his forearms, palms, and wrists in horror. “What the fuck, Kat…” They were blistered, so very red, they had to be hurting like hell and he hadn’t said a single thing. “I need to correct this. I thought it would just dissipate your quirk, not fire it back on you. Why the fuck didn’t you say anything!” 

“I don’t want you changed a single thing about ‘em.” You couldn’t believe the words coming from his mouth. “Listen, if I’m fuckin’ dumb enough to come after you again, I deserve a whole lot more than this!” 

He slipped the gloves back on when you tried to reach for his hands. “Not without ‘em on. Please.” 

“I need to fix them though.” 

“There’s nothing to fix. If I don’t use my quirk while wearing them then I’ll be fine. If I use it, this will be the consequence.” There was no getting through to him, not now at least, and not by yourself. Maybe Eijiro would have better luck. 

He squeezed your hand with the smallest smile, “Wanna go home?” 

“More than anything.” 

It’d been almost two months since Katsuki allowed himself back into the house you all shared. At first, it all felt like a dream to him, like he would reach out to touch something, expecting his hand to pass right through it. As days went by though, he slowly, very, very slowly, grew more comfortable in his space again. 

It took him 3 days to put his arm around you on the sofa, six for you to cuddle into his side. Eight days to sleep in the same bed with you and Eijiro. Three weeks and a whole lot of convincing before he let you sleep between them again. 

The gloves always had to be on though. He came home every single day wearing them, hell, he put them on the moment he left the agency. The only time he could be seen without them was when he was in the shower or if he was cooking. They were so versatile, he could do nearly anything with them, he didn’t see a reason to not wear them, especially when they kept the people he loved safe.   

Both you and Eijiro joked that they were his armor. The shields he now always had up. 

Just over a month had passed since he returned. Finally getting back into the rhythm of his normal life. He’d come home after work, tossed his keys in the little bowl by the door, unlaced his shoes, and placed them to the right of yours. He’d barely stepped foot in the kitchen when he heard the prettiest sounds coming from your bedroom down the hall. 

Your sweet little moans that he’d missed so much tickled his ears quickened his heart, and went right to his cock. He was following your voice before he even realized what he was doing. Feet stopping him before he could walk in the room, instead, he just looked on from the doorway, watching your fingers tug at Eijiro’s hair, keeping that tongue of his in place as he brought you closer to your high. 

Your eyes were shut, hips bucking against his boyfriend’s face desperately, making the redhead’s hands move off your breasts and hold your hips steady so he could have you exactly how he wanted. 

“K-Kat,” He hadn’t seen those pretty eyes of yours open and he sure as shit didn’t see them land on him. His blood ran cold, he wasn’t ready for this again, he couldn’t trust himself like this with you again…

“I know, love,” Eijiro cooed and kissed his way up your thighs before Katsuki could even speak, “We’ll find a way to get him to play with you soon, promise.” 

He hadn’t realized Katsuki had come home, you had to tell him, and now two sets of eyes were on him. 

“You should join us.” Eijiro’s voice was thick, laced with lust, and Katsuki knew he was so hopefully this meant you all would be together again. 

It killed him to admit, “I— I can’t.” 

“Please, KitKat,” You whined with fingers dipping back into your heat in Eijiro’s absence. 

The redhead got up off the bed and walked right up to his boyfriend who looked ready to bolt from the room at any moment. His lips were as warm as ever, and Katsuki groaned at the taste of you on his tongue. It impaired his better judgment, allowed Eijiro time to wrap his arm around him and pull him into the room, and shut the door. “If you don’t want to partake, at least let us give you a show.” 

And shows were the only way Katsuki would partake… for weeks. 

At first, you could admit, it was a little fun. 

Katsuki couldn’t help but get hard from watching you and Eijiro together, he’d end up with his cock out usually making a mess across his abs or having Eijiro suck him off once you were completely spent.

It didn’t take the blonde long to graduate from simply watching to making requests. He liked the control, making Eijiro hold out a little longer or instructing the man to keep pushing you further when your legs were already shaking. 

But, after a while, you were left craving more. What the three of you once shared. 

You wanted Katsuki to press you up against the shower wall in the mornings like he used to while Eijiro slept in or, wrap your hand around his cock in the middle of the night, slowly stroking him until he woke up. If you tried luring him in now though, he wouldn’t have it. Anything more than making out and he would move across the room, a safe distance away, and ask Eijiro to step in. 

He couldn’t keep pushing you away though, not forever, not if you all were really going to be able to work past this. 

You’d curled up in his lap, watching a movie on a rare Saturday night that the three of you managed to have off together. You sat there, comfy and cozy knowing perfectly well that at some point one of you would get needy, it was just a matter of who would break first. 

There was the way you angled your body into Katsuki, in just the perfect way so you could lay feather-light kisses against his neck. It made his gloved hand start to wander higher up your leg. The subtle shift of Katsuki’s arm brought you up just enough so his lips could meet yours. 

Soft and slow, sucking in your lower lip, brushing against his with your tongue. You could feel his hand slow start to lift your shirt up and you flinched and the cool material making him jerk away with an apology on his lips. 

“Kat, baby, please,” you mumbled against his lips.

He’s still kissing you and you can tell he doesn’t want to stop either. You can feel what you’re doing to him and yet he refuses to let you do anything about it. 

You pulled back and pressed your hand to the side of his face, thumb brushing his cheekbone, seeing the pain you felt reflected in his eyes was almost too much to bear. 

From the recliner, Eijiro cleared his throat. He’d seen the interaction, “I might have an idea…” He left the room, followed by yours and Katsuki’s quizzical looks that only grew when he came back with the very plain-looking box that was usually tucked under your bed, and one of the chairs from the sitting room.

“Eijiro…” 

“Just trust me, man.” 

You craned your neck trying to see what he was going to pull out and it ended up being the ropes that were usually reserved for you, so, logically, you moved off of Katsuki and moved closer to Eijiro. “Tonight these aren’t for you, cutie. I’ve got something else in mind.” 

He kissed the top of your head and then held his hand out for Katsuki to take, wiggling his fingers playfully when he didn’t immediately grab it, and when he still didn’t take it, Eijiro crouched between his legs. “You told me you wanted to get past this…” 

“Still do, but, I don’t think ‘m ready.” 

It was almost odd seeing Katuski so timid about this, about anything at all! 

“Can you please just try, for Y/N and me? You two can enjoy each other again and you won’t be able to use your hands this way. If you’re really not comfortable all you’ve gotta do is say the word and everything will stop, you know that.” 

After a couple seconds and a quick glance at you, he gave a curt nod of his blonde head, Katsuki finally allowed Eijiro to pull him to his feet. He sat him down in the wide padded chair. “Arms on the rests f’me,” and you watched as Katsuki did exactly as he was instructed, giving up the control he usually wielded, “Thank you, baby.” Eijiro brushed the blonde hair off his forehead and kissed him softly before getting to work with the rope. 

Katsuki might have been more precise and meticulous when tying you up but Eijiro also knew what he was doing. He focused more on your comfort than the overall aesthetic, so it didn’t surprise you when every few seconds Eijiro would check in with him, needing to know if anything was uncomfortable for him or too tight. 

When Eijiro was confident his rope work was done, he knelt and help Katsuki slip out of the sweats he’d been wearing before looking over his shoulder at you with a grin. “Get comfy, love, he’s all yours.” 

You wasted no time crawling right into Katsuki’s lap. There was no denying that you missed the way his arms would hold you, or how his hands were always so warm against your skin, but the groan he made when you settled over him, even with your panties still on, fuck, you’d missed it. You’d gotten used to his muscles being taught anytime he held you recently, even with the gloves on, his guard was up. But, the ropes seemed to provide him with an extra layer of safety that allowed him to really enjoy you once again. 

“Missed you…” Your warm breath on his neck sent goosebumps racing over his skin, and his mouth hung open when your lips made contact. Eijiro on the opposite side alright lightly nibbling at the sensitive spot just below his ear. 

All of you heard him strain against the ropes, peeking downward and watching his fingers flex. 

“Eager, isn’t he, little one?” 

“Mmhm,” You smiled while Eijiro teased and taunted, already feeling his aching cock right against your ass. 

You reached around and wrapped your fingers around him, swallowing his groan with a kiss while you delicately swiped the pre that escaped him right off his tip and down his shaft. “Eiji, baby, ‘s so hard already.” 

You could see those sharp teeth perfectly with the smile Eijiro wore, one of his hands moved from the back of Katsuki’s neck and into his hair. He had him by the roots, angling him back and you felt him twitch in your palm even as managed to spit a swear before Eijiro could kiss him. 

With his mouth occupied you continued to focus on his cock and sucking a chain of love marks down his porcelain skin, using your free hand to try and pull the collar of his shirt down as far as you could, but unable to properly reach his collarbones had you huffing in frustration. 

“’S the matter, baby?” Eijiro asked, his hand caressing your cheek. 

“Wish we took his shirt off before he got tied up.” 

“Oh, is that all?” That grin was back, “Lean back f’me, love, I can fix this.” 

You did what he said and pressed Katsuki’s cock right to your ass in the process making him suck his teeth, the both of you keeping eyes on Eijiro’s hands that came over the blonde’s shoulders and fisted the cotton fabric that covered his chest. 

He didn’t even have his quirk active, all he did was pull and the shirt never stood a chance. Hanging now in tatters off Katsuki’s frame, “Holy shit—!”, the both of you muttered in unison making Eijiro chuckle.

The action left your panties soaked and you really couldn’t wait any longer. Not even allowing yourself the time to stand and shimmy off your panties, you settled for just pushing them to the side and lining Katsuki up to your dripping cunt. 

His hands gripped the sides of the chair so hard that if you could have seen his knuckles, you were sure they would’ve been white. “Fuck, princess—! Slower, ‘s been a while.” You could tell it wounded his pride to admit but took your time sliding down his cock per his request.

“Could guide me if you had those hands free and just took off those gloves…” You teased him.

“Shut it.” 

“She’s right you know.” 

“Yeah, I get it!” 

You had him buried inside, feeling so full in his lap with your walls fluttering, and your hands resting on his chest. You kissed back up his neck, “Just tell me when I can move, baby, won’t go until you say so.” 

He sucked in a few deep breaths through his nose because if you moved too soon, he’d bust long before he was ready. So, he let you and Eijiro toy with him. Kissing, sucking, and nipping at his skin, all the light lingering touches until he just couldn’t take it anymore.

“Move.” 

“Nicer,” Eijiro demanded of him.

“Please, move.” 

You sweetly kissed his lips and lifted up off him just about halfway and then sank right back down to see how he’d do. The ropes strained again and it made you smile just knowing what he wanted to do. 

He didn’t forget his manners this time, “More, please.” And you graciously gave him whatever he asked. Letting him control you with words rather than physically. He had to communicate, he had to tell you what he wanted, what he needed. 

“Wanna see you.” He mumbled and it made you confused, all he had to do was tilt his head and he’d get a lovely view of the way his cock was vanishing inside you, but Eijiro knew what he meant.

He moved from his spot behind Katsuki, coming up behind you instead, “Think he wants these, baby,” His large fingers expertly pinched your nipples right through your shirt before his hands moved down to the hem. “Arms up for me.” He didn’t ruin your shirt like he’d done with your boyfriend’s. He lifted it off your body, kissing your shoulders once it was removed and giving Katsuki the perfect view of them bouncing as you kept on riding him. 

“Pinch ‘em again f’me, Ei. Like it when she squirms.” And he would’ve if you hadn’t told him no, both men instantly freezing. 

“If Kat wants that, he’s gotta do it himself.” 

“What!?” 

“You heard me,” You still lifted yourself up and down his shaft while you spoke, “No more being Eiji’s puppet master. If you wanna see something done to me, you’ve gotta take your armor off and do it yourself.” 

Katsuki might have looked like his world was just spun sideways but Eijiro was actually chuckling. “I think you’re onto somethin’, baby girl.” He kissed your temple while Katsuki sputtered. 

“The fuck she is!” 

“Calm down. She’s listened to every instruction you’ve given her, slow down, go harder, whatever you’ve asked for, she’s given. I think it’s only fair that you can’t ask me to do those things for you anymore.” 

Still, Katsuki’s jaw was set tight, and you knew he was pissed, that much was painfully obvious. What you could figure out was what he intended to do about it. 

His garnet eyes darted between you and Eijiro like he couldn’t actually believe the two of you were siding with each other on this. For a second you wondered if you might have pushed too far, that this might have been too much for him to handle. Fear crept in and your hips nearly stilled.

“Don’t you fuckin’ stop.” His words were practically a growl from someplace deep in his chest and you obeyed without a second thought. “Undo the binds.” Your walls clenched at the words and you knew you were in for it. 

The moment the ropes fell to the floor Katsuki was standing, using cool hands to wrap your legs around him, keeping his cock still buried deep. Eijiro was just a second behind him, grinning like it was his damn birthday all the way to the bedroom. 

Your back hit the mattress and before you let Katsuki do a single thing, you tapped the gloves, “Off.” 

He tore them from his hands, throwing them against the far wall, and then scalding, scared hands pulled you in.

They felt different. It wasn’t the fact it had been months since he’d had them on you, you’d remember his touch anywhere. He had new scars from explosions he’d caused over the weeks his hands had been in the gloves. The damage he’d inflicted upon himself.

Katsuki leaned down to kiss you before doing anything else. “They’re alright. They don’t hurt. Promise.” 

And he didn’t give you any more time to worry about it right then. He already had your hips up off the bed, “Getting in my fuckin’ way.” He ripped the panties that you never bothered taking off before using you like you were nothing more than a tool for his desires. 

You got exactly what you’d been craving, there wasn’t a part of you Katsuki left untouched. Rough fingers tugging at your nipples, making them pull with each harsh snap of his hips. He groped at your ass, pulled at your hair, and pushed your legs further and further apart. 

When one orgasm ripped through you he didn’t even falter. “Hell, princess, already?” He flipped you over, face pressed into a pillow and he positioned your ass exactly where he wanted it, watching your cum drip out and run down your thighs before pushing himself back in. 

He would’ve stayed upright, fucking you with both feet planted on the ground, had it not been for Eijiro bending him over top you. What you wouldn’t have given to see the look on Katsuki’s face when Eijiro bullied his cock inside him. Your ears were flooded by a guttural moan, and your hips were gripped so tightly that bruises were bound to show up within the hour. 

“Fuck, wait, Ei—!” Katsuki was twitching inside you and you waited for him to flood your cunt but he managed to hold off again. 

“Awe, too much for our KitKat?” 

You pushed the blond further, sitting on all fours, looking back at the two of them. Katsuki’s head dipped low, nearly resting on your back meanwhile, Eijiro teeth were sinking into his lower lip and you knew he was working his inches inside Katsuki little by little. 

“Ah, there ya go.” He ran a soothing hand over Katsuki’s back, “Now, be good f’us and fill our little one up.” He retracted his hips and eased, back in quicker than before, making Katsuki push into you as well, “She’s been so needy for you, baby.” Eijiro repeated the motion, quicker still, “Talkin’ about how much she misses your cock,” Another thrust, “Oh. And she really misses your fingers on that pretty clit of hers.” 

Katsuki didn’t need any more of a hint. Rough fingers were on your sensitive bundle of nerves in seconds and your arms gave way landing you on the pillow below that muffled your cry. 

With the way he moved, clearly not forgetting exactly what you liked, he was going to have you cumming for him again in record time. “Kat!” You have to turn your head for him to properly hear you, “Feel s’good, baby. Wanna cum f’you.” 

“You as— askin’ permission, princess?” Eijiro’s thrusts had him stammering and you just knew he wasn’t gonna last much longer either.

You nod your head but it wasn’t enough for either of them. “Words.” Both of them reminded you and you whined.

“Please! Please, yes, I’m asking!” 

Eijiro still had a good pace going, rocking the both of you with ease. He had Katsuki so close the man could barely form a sentence so, Eijiro took it upon himself. “Cum when Kat does, little one, hold out until then.” 

Katsuki can feel you practically sob, so close to the edge and not being allowed to let that cord snap. He kissed up your spine. “’M close, babe, just— fuck— hang on.” 

Katsuki’s head was pulled back from your ear, lightly this time by Eijiro’s hand. “Do you wanna cum, baby?” 

“Y-yes.” 

“Then ask me.” 

“Fu—“

“Ah-ah,” Eijiro cut him off, "I’ll drag this out for the both of you if you get your temper goin’. Try again.” 

“Wanna cum, Ei. Fuck, I want it. Please, can y’make me cum?” 

Sharp teeth were right against his earlobe. “Don’t let up on that clit of hers, understand?” 

In an instant his fingers worked even quicker than before to the point you weren’t sure if you’d be able to hold out like Eijiro had ordered but then those teeth sunk into Katsuki’s shoulder and the hand he’d had posted on your hip flew to the back of Eijiro’s neck to hold him in place. 

Your fingers fisted the sheets and Katsuki couldn’t keep his pace on your clit, instead, it was all jerky movements until his first rope of cum shot into you. And he had so much more to give. The way your orgasm milked him had him painting your walls white, filling you to the brim until his cum was leaking out and onto the sheets below. 

Eijiro kept his teeth embedded until he came too, just a minute or so later. 

Months ago, it used to be one of the boys who’d get up and make sure you had a warm towel to clean yourself up, or they’d be picking you up to take a bath, but not tonight though. 

Eijiro pulled himself out and then helped Katsuki ease out of you and let you slowly roll over onto your back. He waited until Katsuki was situated in your arms, his head resting comfortably against your chest, and only then did Eijiro cuddle in beside the two of you. One arm under your neck and the other across Katsuki’s back. 

You had both your hands playing with Katsuki’s blonde locks, running your fingers through them, scratching at his scalp. “Thanks.” He muttered and both you and Eijiro knew that covered so many different things. 

“Don’t have to thank us.” Eijiro started and let you finish with, “You’re worth fighting for, KitKat. We love you.” 

He snorted a laugh at the comments he deemed ‘too sappy’, and yet he was the one who, after insisting you all needed to shower, that he was gonna marry the two of you one day. 

[loki-hargreeves]

Steven Grant x fem!Reader - Let Her Go

Pairing: Steven Grant x fem!Reader but Marc also makes an appearance Warnings: idiots in love in the beginning so fluff, getting mugged, sexual harassment, injury, spitting on someone, angst, hurt/comfort, loads of mentions of blood Word Count: 3,8K Summary: You’ve been dating Steven Grant for a while and things are fantastic, until they’re not. You get mugged in an alleyway which forces Marc to make an appearance. [This is supposed to take place around the same time the series begin.] A/N: What can I say? I am a sucker for Oscar Isaac and angst. Enjoy!

YOUR POV

“I’m telling the truth, you must believe me!” Steven was playfully offended over the fact that you did not believe the facts he presented you with, or at least that’s what you claimed. 

Not that you had a reason to believe he was lying since he was quite an expert on Egyptian mythology and he didn’t seem like the dishonest type. Sometimes it was just fun to goof with him. After all, Steven was the cutest man you knew of and you felt ever so lucky that he seemed to find you cute as well. The way his eyes sparkled when he was smiling absolutely enthralled you. 

“And I’m telling you that I’m not convinced,” You took a daring step closer to him, pointing your finger at his nose and poking him, feeling the effects of the red wine you had drunk over dinner. Steven grinned like a schoolboy, overjoyed by the evening so far. It helped that he found your behaviour endearing. The two of you had been on yet another date and it had gone well, so well in fact that you were on your way to his flat for tea and board games. Things were getting more serious between the two of you, which you were happy about.

“What will it take to convince you?” He wondered with a genuine smile on his face, looking at you like you were the only person in the world that mattered. 

Retracting your finger to now rest upon your jaw, you put on a thoughtful face and leaned closer to him, “I think you’ll have to keep talking. Maybe over tea, on your couch...I’m all ears,” You let him know what might’ve been just enough to convince you. Truly, you were just looking for an excuse to listen to him. Steven was passionate and when he talked about his interests, it melted your heart. If he was up to it, you would listen to him for hours.

“If that’s what it takes, then I’ll have to do it,” Steven couldn’t believe his luck. He didn’t understand how his dorky enthusiasm had charmed you, the most wonderful person he knew. When he had first asked you out, he had hardly believed that he had done it. The words had simply slipped out of his mouth and before he had been given a chance to stumble over his words and take it back, you had said yes. A few weeks had passed and everything was going splendidly.

The clouds above you were hiding the stars and only a small parting allowed moonlight to pour down onto you, illuminating the London streets in a faint, silver hue. Traffic was surprisingly light, possibly because it was a Thursday night and it looked like it could begin to rain any second now. Nevertheless, you had decided to walk the short distance from the restaurant to Steven’s flat. 

Steven offered his arm for support as you crossed the street and you were more than happy to hold onto him. Dating him was still a new thing. You had only been on a handful of dates together and Steven was a gentleman, never trying to push you into anything. He was respectful and kind, funny too. In a short period of time, you had fallen for him much harder than anticipated. Somehow it felt like you had been dating for much longer. Being around him made you feel safe.

Holding onto him and being so close, you could smell his cologne. It wasn’t overpowering, but it smelled so much of him and you wanted to get lost in that. Steven was slightly tense, because he was so focused on trying not to trip over his own feet while holding onto you. Accidentally hurting you was the last thing he wanted to do. You tightened your grip on his sleeve and caught him glancing at your hand and then smiling. 

“Would you like to grab something from Alma’s on our way? I heard the chocolate cupcakes are marvellous,” Steven wondered, leading you toward an alleyway you had walked through many times before. 

Alma’s was a small bakery he had picked up baked goods from before and you recalled him telling you about the old lady who worked there. She was really nice to him and even gave Steven a discount when she heard he bought them for his date, aka you. 

“I’d love to. Maybe Alma is there tonight,” You were curious to meet her. Steven made her sound lovely and besides, you couldn’t say no to baked good, could you?

Looking ahead of you in the alleyway that seemed much darker now than before, you noticed something - no, someone sitting on the ground next to an overflowing dumpster.

“Oh my god,”  after blinking a few times, getting used to the dimness, you realized the man had blood on his t-shirt. The sight alarmed you and instantly, without hesitating, you let go of Steven and hurried to the injured man. “Are you okay?!”

Steven tried to grab your hand, but you were already on your way to the man. A gut feeling told him something wasn’t right, but everything happened so quickly. He couldn’t stop you, even if he had wanted to.

“Y/N!” Steven called after you and tried to catch up with you. The gut feeling grew stronger and fast, as if something was screaming at him to get you away from that man. 

Before Steven could do as much as taking another hurried step toward you, two masked people emerged from the shadows and grabbed him forcefully by his arms. More of the swarmed seemingly out of nowhere and even the ‘injured’ man stood up as if nothing had ever bothered him at all. Steven watched in horror as the blood-covered man wrapped his arms around you, turning you so your back was pressed against his shirt and his arm wrapped dangerously around your throat, his other hand resting on top of your head.

“Hey!” Steven tried to break free from their hold, but froze instantly when a masked man pulled a gun from his coat. Seeing you like that was easily one of the most frightening things he had ever seen and it kick-started something within him he didn’t know existed until now. Steven was not going to let anything happen to you or else he wouldn’t know how to live with himself.

This can’t be happening...

“Woah, there’s no need for that,” Steven tried to stay calm, knowing that he couldn’t possibly let this escalate to a point where guns were needed. Right now, that was the last thing he wished for. 

“Give me your wallet,” The armed man demanded, his voice muffled by the thick fabric of his mask. Steven didn’t know what was more terrifying, the lack of empathy in his eyes or the way the words came out so smoothly. The man seemed like he had done this many times before and he wasn’t afraid. 

Steven nodded a few times, feeling helpless as he was let go. He knew he could try to reach you but that could cost him being shot. Instead, he decided to do what was asked of him.

“Alright, mate. Hold on,” Steven put his trembling hands in his pockets, searching for his wallet. After checking his pants and his jacket, he remembered that he had put his wallet in your purse when you had decided to walk, since he didn’t want to carry it in his pocket. Bloody hell. 

“What’s taking so long?” The man was certainly not patient, waving his gun around threateningly, making Steven’s pulse skyrocket. His heartbeat was ringing in his ears by now. He looked at the gun and then at you, still being held by the throat. If the man wanted to, he could snap your neck like nothing.

“I don’t have it on me-”

“Bullshit! Don’t lie to me,” The man raised his voice, refusing to believe Steven didn’t carry his wallet with him. 

“It’s not on me, i-it’s in her purse,” Steven quickly corrected. He didn’t want their attention on you, but right now it seemed like the only way to get out of this mess. 

“Steven!”

What was that? Steven could’ve sworn he heard his own name being spoken, but he was sure he knew none of these people. 

Deciding to ignore what he just heard, he focused on you instead. For a moment, the armed man just stared at Steven, trying to decide whether or not he trusted him. After making up his mind, he nodded to one of his friends and turned around to look at you. With every step they took approaching you, Steven’s worry grew. He shot you an apologetic look and prayed to whoever could hear him for things to go well. 

“Down here, look at me!” The voice returned. 

It sounded so much like Steven himself. As he dared to peek down, he saw his reflection in a dirty puddle, but it didn’t move in sync with him. The sight was startling. Was this how it would end? With you getting mugged in an alleyway as his reflection spoke to him? Was he losing it? 

“I don’t have much time to explain things, you just have to trust me. These people are dangerous, you need to let me handle this,” The reflection explained with an accent that certainly didn’t belong to Steven.

“W-What?” That was all Steven could say, narrowing his eyes in disbelief. Was this a fever dream? Was any of this actually happening?

“Be quiet!” One of the muggers demanded, landing a punch in Steven’s gut, instantly making him double over in pain. It knocked the air out of his lungs and for an alarming moment, Steven was gasping for air. The man stepped back and let Steven hit the cold ground, face landing in the murky puddle. He groaned in pain and heard you screaming out his name with so much fear it made his heart ache.

“You need to give me control, I’ll get you out of here,” Puddle Steven spoke despite the disturbed surface of the water. The tiny ripples hadn’t warded him off. 

Further away, you were fighting against your fear as you tried to put on a tough face. The man with the gun was standing in front of you now as one of his men was going through your purse. At this point, you didn’t care about a wallet or two, all you wanted was to walk away from this with Steven. Nothing else mattered.

“What do we have here?” The man looked you up and down, not shying away with his nasty glare. The way he looked at you made you feel dirty. If if wasn’t for the worry you felt for Steven, you wouldn’t be biting your tongue the way you were right now. 

This felt like it was all your fault. 

“Perhaps you have more to offer us than a wallet? What do you say, sweetheart?” The man tilted his head, talking to you as if you were stupid. Whatever he was suggesting, you weren’t having any of it.

“Take it, my purse and everything. Just let us go, please!” You attempted to strike some sort of agreement with them. Perhaps one of them had a heart? Maybe, just maybe they would be happy with your purse and its contents. Couldn’t that be enough? Things could be replaced. Sure, it would suck but at least you would live. 

“You’re funny,” He chuckled at your desperation, treating it like a joke. The next thing that happened was vile, making you tense up like stone. He put his filthy hands on your body, patting you down in search of something valuable. What he was truly searching for was the look on your face when he traced your curves, touching you in ways that made you want to cut his hands off.

“Let her go!” Steven yelled as he saw what was going on, feeling sick to his stomach when he realized they were after more than just your purse. He tried to get up from the concrete ground, not fearing what they might do to him as his only concern was to help you. The man that had punched him before tried to hold him back, but Steven prevailed, surprising himself with his strength. Unfortunately, there were too many of them and he couldn’t fight them all. He could only hope that someone heard the uproar that was happening and called for help.

“Let her go you sick freaks!” Steven shouted again, his anger not reflecting his usual bubbly personality at all. Seconds later, someone’s fist collided with his jaw which knocked him out of his senses. The ringing in his ears was all Steven could hear for a second as he faltered to the ground, scraping his skin on the rough impact. The taste of blood filled his mouth, making it feel like he had dirty pennies on his tongue. Then the pain hit him, seconds after the collision. Whoever had punched him knew exactly what they were doing. 

Seeing them hurting Steven was the last push you needed to defend yourself. These people didn’t care about you and they weren’t going to let you go even when you gave them what they wanted. You had to fight if you wanted a chance of survival.

It must’ve caught them off guard when you bit the man who was holding his arm around your throat because he let you go. The armed man didn’t have time to move his hands off your body when your elbow made contact with his face. It hurt him much more than it hurt you. As they both stepped back in shock and pain, you tried to leap past them toward Steven who was on the ground, receiving kicks all over his body. 

“You bitch!” The armed man tried to yank you back to him, but you acted quickly and out of anger, spitting at him. It was repulsive, but it worked as he seemed more worried about wiping his face than grabbing you - his guys were already on it.

“Stop it!” You screamed at them, grabbing onto one of the empty glass bottles that had been resting on the ground next to one of the dumpsters. You swung it as hard as you could at one of the men’s heads, breaking the glass into a million little pieces on impact. The man was stunned, falling limp on the ground but two more took his place. You realized your odds of winning this fight were slim to none, but what else were you supposed to do?

A gunshot went off nearby, so close that it hurt your ears. Who had been shot, you had no idea until you struggled to move. It didn’t hurt at first, until something burned the skin around your stomach area, taking you by surprise. Perhaps shock was a blessing because you couldn’t feel much at all.

Everything after that happened so fast, it all blurred together into something hazy and unclear. You were overpowered and soon found yourself on the ground, clutching your abdomen as hot, crimson blood pooled around you. It flowed through your fingers, leaving them sticky and warm despite the cold weather. The oddest thing was, that you could hardly feel the pain of the wound you didn’t even recall getting. The only distress you felt was emotional misery, watching through blurred vision as these strangers abused the man you were certain you loved.

It felt like you just blinked, but the next thing you saw was Steven standing up. He was dressed differently and the people around him were dropping to the ground like flies. Was that really Steven? Whatever it was, that was the last thing you saw before you slipped into unconsciousness, allowing the numbness it offered to embrace you.

There were glimpses you caught of what happened afterwards, but they made no sense. It felt like a dream, created by your brain as an attempt to grasp what was happening. Were you dying?

You pried your weary eyes open and realized someone was carrying you in their arms. You couldn’t see their face, only a pair of white, glowing eyes. Was that a crescent moon on their chest?

The next moment of lucidity you had, you found yourself wrapped in a blanket of some sort. The person that had carried you before was still holding you, but you were resting on the ground. A warm feeling covered you from head to toe, slowly taking away your pain. 

“Steven...” You moaned in agony, feeling a sharp sting in your chest which prevented you from saying anything else. 

“Don’t move,” The person told you almost a little bluntly, although it seemed pretty clear he was helping you. Whatever it was he was doing, it was helping. This person sounded so familiar...

“Close your eyes, you will be fine.”

                Steven didn’t know what happened and he certainly didn’t know how you were at his flat. One moment he had been on the ground, lying in a puddle as he was being kicked like a dog. His reflection had spoken to him and suddenly his entire reality seemed to glitch. Now he was standing in his living room with blood on his clothes and he didn’t even really know whose blood it was. His brown eyes were travelled from his bloody hands to you bleeding out on his couch.

“Oh no,” Worry spiked in his heart when he saw the condition you were in. “No no no...” Steven was afraid to touch you, but he had to find the source of all that blood. He should’ve called an ambulance and the police, but he didn’t have his phone and right now, he knew he needed to stop the bleeding.

When Steven tugged at your bloodstained shirt, he was surprised to see nothing but smooth skin. No wounds, no bruises, no nothing. There was just blood that had begun to dry, turning into a much darker shade. He had to touch you just to know it was real. As his fingers traced the soft skin of your stomach, nothing changed. You were somehow unharmed, at least as far as he could tell. 

“How...” Steven didn’t understand anything. At that moment, he realized that he felt fine too. There was no way that he was supposed to feel fine after what had just happened, yet his jaw that had been dislocated was now perfectly fine. Even when he brought his hand to touch his jaw that had previously been tender, he couldn’t feel any pain. It was as if nothing had happened at all.

“Steven?” Your voice cut off all of his other thoughts. Hearing it felt like a blessing, because it meant you were alive and well enough to speak.

“Y/N! Thank goodness...” Steven felt so relieved to see those precious eyes of yours looking into his. “You’re okay, we’re alright. We’re safe, yeah?” He was kneeling beside the couch, his bloody hand reaching to hold yours. When he found your hand, he brought it to his lips and placed desperate kisses on your knuckles, needing to convince both of you of the fact you were safe. He just needed to feel you, to hear and see you moving, talking, breathing. After everything that happened, he didn’t know what senses to trust, but he couldn’t doubt you.

For a moment, he thought he had lost you. 

And you had thought you’d lost him.

Scurrying off the couch as if you had never been hurt at all, you joined Steven on the floor and wrapped your arms around him, embracing him like never before. It surprised him, but you were happy when he hugged you back, clinging onto your bloodied clothes for dear life. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes as he finally believed you were okay. 

Guilt was beginning to eat you alive. As you sat there, embracing him, all you could think of was how everything could’ve been avoided if you hadn’t run off like that. If you had stepped back for a moment and realized it was a trap all along. If Steven had died because of your mistake, you didn’t know what you would’ve done with yourself.

“I’m so sorry, Steven...” By now, the shock had begun to wear off and your feelings were overwhelming, causing tears to run down your cheeks and wash away the dirt and dry blood. “I’m so sorry.”

“What?” 

Steven pulled apart from you so he could face your sorrowful expression, absolutely bewildered when he heard you apologizing for what had happened. In what world was that your fault? The pained confusion must’ve been obvious on his face as his dark brows furrowed together when facing you. Steven brushed your face softly, wiping away your tears, too shocked to speak right away.

“I shouldn’t have...I shouldn’t have run to him like that,” You sniffled, feeling awful when you retraced your steps. Although it had happened not that long ago, it somehow already felt like days had passed.

“Don’t you say that,” Steven refused to let you blame yourself for simply being compassionate. It broke his heart to hear that. “You saw someone in pain and you didn’t hesitate to help, please never apologize for that,” the last plead came out as merely a whisper.

“You could’ve died.”

“I didn’t. You didn’t. We’re okay,” Steven reminded you, although he didn’t have the slightest clue of how you ended up at his flat, let alone how your injuries magically disappeared. What condition were the others in? Were they alive? The amount of blood he was covering him led Steven to believe something bizarre had happened.

In a moment as mysterious and overwhelming as that, you couldn’t find words to do it justice. Instead, you could only hold onto Steven and relish the fact you were miraculously saved from that nightmare. Nothing else mattered than the feeling of his face nuzzled in the crook of your neck as the sweet scent of his cologne filled your lungs. Sure, it mixed with the foul and irony smell of blood, but after a while, you got used to it.

“What are we going to do?”

Steven had no answers for you. The wheels in his brain were turning, but he couldn’t think clearly. He fell silent, just holding you and rocking your bodies gently as he sought comfort in the midst of everything else. His eyes wandered around his apartment until he stared at the mirror nearby. Once again, his reflection was someone else.

Something told Steven that whoever that was had the answers you were seeking. 

A/N: So that was my first Steven Grant one-shot! I haven’t written in a while because of my personal life, but watching Moon Knight has inspired me a lot. I hope this is alright. 

Hearing your feedback would mean the world to me, especially since this is a new character I’m writing for. Thank you for reading! <3