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zeldasnotes · 2 years

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My experience with people based on their planets in my houses:

This post is about how people with their inner planets in my houses reacted to me and what kind of relationships I usually had with these people. These notes are just my personal experiences and not facts. I would also love to hear your opinions on peoples planets in your houses!☺️

1st house:

People with planets in my 1st house always noticed me before I noticed them. I could tell they were attracted to me and most of the people who had crushes on me had something in my 1st house. They usually followed me on social media and were very supportive. I could feel some kind of respect coming from them and I noticed they wanted the same from me.

2nd house:

This was always a hit or miss from what Ive noticed. These people usually had some kind of impact on my self esteem usually positive. They saw something in me that I didnt. But since I have my Prispus and my South Node here I think it got a little intense because they usually touched one of these points with their planets. Ive noticed that they liked my style and were generelly attracted to me.

3rd house:

These people loved talking to me and wanted my opinion on everything they were doing in their life. There too much mindgames going on tho and I didnt feel like I could trust them.

4th house:

These were people who felt like family and I felt like I had met them before. These were people who lived in my neighbourhood. It felt cozy and close. They usually liked me.

5th house:

These were people who I could feel had my back in some way even tho we hadnt known eachother for long. I usually had a lot of fun with them but we both had like a ”bad influence” on eachother because there was too much fun going on.

6th house:

These were the people who lived in my neighbourhood who I saw everyday without thinking about it. There was no chemistry at all but I kinda liked it? Because there was no competition or having to act nice or anything it was just ”thats my neighbour”. We knew who the other were and thats all.

7th house:

This was a genuine like from both sides. I could tell they genuinely liked me and we didnt need to talk about it. This is the people I never had a conflict with but usually no relationship either because we almost liked eachother too much. This was the ”You are extremely hot and I know you find me hot but lets just enjoy this extremely boring friendship relation we have going on”. I usually found them to be very good looking physically probably because they represented what I need in a partner (7th house). I viewed them as ideal physically but I also have Juno in my 7th house so most of them had conjunctions to my Juno. These were also the ”forever” kinda relationships going on like if we hadnt seen eachother for 5 years we could still catch up and talk like we saw eachother yesterday.

8th house:

This was always a hit or miss. These were the worst stalkers or my closest friends and partners. They knew who I were and they were going to get my attention no matter how much I ignored them. These were people who would talk about me to others. You ever had someone make up a crazy rumor about you? Well it was probably someone with planets in your 8th house. I feel like I brought something inside of them to the surface and they either liked it or not. Ive noticed they were usually jealous of me because they saw me as having something they wanted (8th house the house of other peoples stuff).

9th house:

This was mostly people I went to school with and didnt really like. There was something about politics or just a lot of differences in upbringing here. Different political views or just from two completely different worlds. I felt like they didnt really like me or saw me as to different to what they were used to.

10th house:

People with their Venus here liked my reputation from what I noticed. They usually liked me and I could sense a mutual respect for eachother. I noticed that we usually matched in physical appearance like height, clothes and appearance in general so we looked good walking beside eachother. I feel like they saw me as better than I really am and I wanted to live up to that so I became a better person around them.

11th house:

My three childhood bestfriends have their Venus or Mars in my 11th house. This was just pure friendship like we could hang out EVERYDAY for like two months without getting tired of eachother. This was genuinely enjoying the others company. I felt like they wanted to be with me all the time and they found me very funny.

12th house:

It felt like they had the key to my mental diary and they were going to rip every page out and send it to the whole school or something. It felt like their eyes could see through my pants with lazer eyes and see how unshaved my legs were kinda feeling. It goes both ways tho so they felt the same about me. I also felt like I couldnt really trust them and that they were keeping something from me even though they didnt. Like everytime they told me something I started reading through the lines and they did the same thing to me. They usually suspected negative things about me and focused on my negative qualities.

#astrology #astro notes #astro observations #astronotes #synastry reading #astrotidbits

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vimara00 · 5 months

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Hi everyone, it's Vi! ✨ Today I decided to write something with the trope "she fell first but he fell harder" because I can. Also, I wanna wish u a Merry Christmas!!! 🎅 🎄

Hope you enjoy! ❤️ (Again, sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes, english is not my first language 🙈)

Pd: It's gonna be a part 2

All characters reservations to Horikoshi

Warnings: jealousy

Too blind to see (Kirishima x F!reader)

(Image created with AI)

Kirishima and y/n have known each other since birth as both of their mothers were friends. They dreamed of the two of them getting along and, in an ideal future, getting married and giving them grandchildren, but it was too early for the last part. They became inseparable and did everything together; They went to the same kindergarten, same high school, and even managed to enter the UA. However, because of y/n "sanation" quirk, she was at another class. But that wasn't an impediment for seeing each other every day. And when she wasn't with Kirishima and his friends, she would be helping on the nursery as part of her training. Her mentor, Recovery girl, always said that she'll take her place when she retired, so y/n needed to work extra hard if she wanted to be able to save heroes' lives during battle.

Kirishima was y/n's number one fan; she was his muse, his rock, and his 'best friend' while for her...he was way more than that. She was in love with her best friend and came with the realisation, at a very young age, that he didn't see her as a potential partner so she kept her mouth shut for all this years, scared of rejection.

However, lately, Kirishima's been more protective than normal; At first, she thought it probably had something to do with the LOV's recent attack, but certain actions made her think otherwise...

The other day, Deku came in with new injuries, and because he was a regular patient, he talked a lot with y/n while she treated his wounds. They became very good friends as she was one of the few who knew of OFA. Kirishima hadn't noticed how close they were till he came in later that day to check on Midoriya and found them siting next to eachother (shoulders touching and being VERY VERY close for his liking) reading and talking about his notes. He was standing at the door annoyed by the scene happening in front of him, and suddenly, a new sensation came with it, one he couldn't put into words, but it felt similar to fear. Of what? He was yet to find out...

He decided enough was enough and entered the room, making his presence known. Izuku might have noticed the intense look Kirishima was giving him cause he tensed and moved a little so his body wasn't touching hers at all; He knew that, even though the redhead was such a great guy, when it came to her, he sure as hell would beat someone up just because that person looked the wrong way (Midoriya has seen it many times). Y/n didn't think much of it as she greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and kept doing some reports that Recovery girl has left for her. After she was done, they left so Izuku could rest, but not before she gave him a quick hug and said their goodbyes. Kirishima was rather quiet all the way to her doorm, and once they arrived, he said 'You are really close with Midoriya, ah?' 'Yes, he's a really nice guy! He comes almost every day so he's my favorite patient by now' His face turned into a frown to that and respond 'Is that so?' He hadn't stopped looking intensibly at her, and it was making the e/c girl nervous. <Why does he sound like he's jealous?> The girl was wondering when suddenly, he grabbed her forearm gently so her body was now facing him. His eyes were no longer on her but the floor, and he whispered 'I don't like you being that friendly with him. I'm supposed to be the one who receives your hugs and the one you tend their wounds of!' He paused for a few seconds and finally looked at her as he continued 'I don't like sharing your attention or you affection. I know it's selfish but lately, when I see you with others, it hurts and it annoys me...I feel kind of left out and I don't like it one bit' Someone would of assumed this 'sensations' Kirishima was having were of pure jealousy or envy because of the threaten of her finding someone else and that this might have been his confession but no. He's convinced himself, and her, that it was his mission as a 'big bro' that he needed to be sure the guy she settled for was a nice one. That night, both of them went to sleep with a huge weight of their hearts. Y/n because she realized that nothing has changed and that she'd always be his friend no matter how cute she dressed or how mature she acted, she'd never be his first option. As for him... He felt his chest tighten at the thought of her being with some other dude.

The next few days, he did everything in his power to not let Midoriya or any other of his friends near y/n, but he couldn't control everyone for too long, could he? It wasn't long enough until UA most handsome guy, had to pay a visit to the nursery and even took the chance to invite her to endeavors agency to work with them. She was very excited to tell him about what happened and that she accepted their offer, but Kirishima had to pretend that he was happy when he actually was feeling sad)?

Since then, mister cute face has spent too much time with her and did everything together; from eating lunch to going on missions alone and then having dinner at his house (Midoriya and Bakugou were there too but still) The redhead was going crazy to say the least. However, he began to wonder if these emotions were similar to the ones a brother would have for his little sister or more like a boyfriend would have for his girl. The word 'jealousy' came along with those thoughts and so he understood why he got so annoyed and anxious whenever she was with someone else or how worried he got by just the idea of her having a boyfriend or even marrying someone; marrying someone who wasn't him. He was in love with her! All this time, he actually thought he was doing the right thing by being protecting her from praying eyes but he was just keeping her to himself instead. He realized how mistaken he had been and needed to make his intentions clear for her even if she rejected him. He just needed to find the right time

....

Part 2 in a few days 😉

#mha #bnha #bnha fluff #mha fluff #mha scenarios #bnha shoto #bnha kirishima #kirishima eijirou #kirishima x reader #mha kirishima #kirishima fluff #jealous kirishima #kirishima x y/n #eijiro kirishima #bnha scenarios

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kunikinnie · 1 year

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a/n: I LIVE! I LIIIIIVE it took one "I spotted Kuni's VA in the wild" moment to revert me back to my true unashamed self note: reader is female

58 + 1

You were always curious about the specifics of Kunikida’s infamous 58 Criteria for the Ideal Woman. It was one of those things that once you’ve heard of it, you just couldn’t get it out of your head. Seeing Atsushi’s reaction plus your not-so-little crush on your superior only heightened that interest.

Worse, despite your very best efforts to not intrude – of course, if he offered you to take a peek you wouldn’t hesitate – they were completely wasted the moment the opportunity arose.

“Don’t you want to read it?” The devil in the form of Dazai Osamu whispered in your ear, the spine of the notebook pointed at your stomach. “Your opinion is… valuable to him anyway, so why don’t you check it out?”

“I-I can’t-“

“Of course you can. You also may, dear. Trust me.”

You didn’t trust him. The chance that all he wanted was some entertainment for the day at your (and possibly his partner's) expense was more than likely…

Yet here you were, seated at your desk, flipping the delicate pages of Kunikida’s notebook.

“Damn…”

It was exactly what you expected and completely on a whole other level at the same time. It was extremely comprehensive and oddly specific that you couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of him coming up with this nonsense in the first place. There’s no way he was still absolutely serious about this, was there? If he was, then-

Then what? Was that a good thing? A bad thing? What did that mean for you?

The sound of a loud gasp cut your train of thought.

“What the hell are you doing, Y/N?!“

Kunikida quickly swiped his notebook away from you. It annoyed him that you read it without permission – how could you do that to him? – but the moment he realized which portion you read, all of the anger vanished; all that was left was embarrassment and panic. How did the last person who should have ever read it have the very thing in her hands? What’s worse was the unreadable expression on your face.

“Why did- no wait, I-I can explain-“

You chuckled lightly. How could you even be so calm right now?! “There’s no need, Kunikida-san. I should be the one apologizing for peeking without asking you first.”

Despite that, the air only grew more tense. The thoughts rushing through both of your heads almost choked you both.

“If I may,” you continued. “I have a suggestion.”

“S-suggestion?”

“Yes. There’s one more ideal you can add, if you want.”

It wasn’t what he expected you to say, but he slowly took out his pen anyway. If the shame would never go away then he could at least follow your recommendation.

“59. Would still love me despite having read this list.”

He repeated your words as he scribbled it down, not noticing the subtle insult until he finally finished. You’re lucky he’s used to your teasing; otherwise, he might have cried on the spot.

“I-I’ll keep it in mind,” he said as he cleared his throat, trying to kill off the sudden blood flow to his face. “But why’d you think of that?”

“At this rate it’s probably the only criterion I can meet, unfortunately.”

It didn’t even occur to you that you said it out loud until you saw his frozen but rapidly reddening face.

“Kunikida-san, I have your next case here-“

The moment Haruno stepped in, you quickly bowed and left the office. Such terrible timing on your part, really. With how much of a mess you were right now, you weren’t sure if you could show yourself in front of him ever again.

Well, it’s not like you had the time to decide anyway – just a few moments after you stepped out, a sharp tug on your arm forced you to once more confront his noticeably nervous and ridiculously red face.

#bsd #kunikida doppo #kunikida x reader #kunikida x y/n #kunikida x you

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walkingstackofbooks · 7 days

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Julian + Loneliness + Love: an essay

BASHIR: Wait. Quark, did you really mean all that? About Dax being my one last chance for true happiness?

In Change of Heart, Season 6, Julian really latches onto these words from Quark, leading us to half-a-season of having to painfully watch him become re-obsessed with Jadzia. Here, I’m going to examine how Julian perceives love – particularly romantic love -- as being that one, impossible-to-get thing that could actually make him happy, and why he might think that way about it.

First: a couple of things I learnt about in therapy that I think are pretty relevant to how Julian does life.

(Please note I am not a professional – my therapist is wonderful and I’ve tried to re-research this too, but I might well have misunderstood or forgotten something, so please don’t just take my word on it! The descriptions of the concepts are also rather simplistic in the interests of time.)

Drive, threat, and self-soothing systems

In ideal conditions: we will be seeking out satisfaction from our lives through our drive system. There will be things we want in life that will give us purpose and make us happy, and we’ll move towards our goals because we *want* to.

At times, we’ll face things that are difficult, and when we are in danger, our threat system kicks in to warn us of it and get us away. The old fight-flight-freeze-fawn thing; our limbic system takes control, so that we don’t waste time *processing* things and thinking through everything logically -- we need to get away from that sabre-toothed tiger automatically, not stand there thinking about it!

Once the threat has gone away, our soothing system kicks in to neutralise the threat system. As we go through life, we learn from our experiences how to better self-soothe, and gradually add to that system.

However, it doesn’t always work out that way and my best guess is that Julian’s system is going to be heavily threat-based with very little soothing.

I imagine that post-enhancements as a kid, he did manage to develop his drive system, finding things he enjoyed doing and chasing after them just because he wanted to. However, his parents’ very high expectations probably meant that even then, his threat system was conditioned to think of *failure* as a threat, and so even from a young age, Julian’s threat system has been highly active in being a driving force behind his ambition - undermining his *actual* drive system.

Then, of course, he learnt about his enhancements, meaning that he becomes preoccupied with not being discovered -- and from this moment on, his threat system is pretty permanently activated. He seems to find some relief in distraction: escapism through books, in his work, in tennis -- but he doesn’t have a way to soothe this threat, only ignore it.

By the time he arrives on DS9, I believe he has a few things in his actual drive system, including wanting to help people and seeking adventure. But he is also so used to his threat system being engaged that he doesn’t even notice how driven by fear he is -- and his soothing system is an absolute wreck, with minimal coping mechanisms.

Attachment style

There are four different attachment styles, as pictured above. These influence how you form and manage the relationships in your life -- in the image it says “partner”, but it’s also involved in your friendships and families.

As warned, this is a little simplistic, but basically your attachment style is formed by having a warm, consistent and loving relationship with your primary caregiver in infancy. Julian very much didn’t have that, and we know that from when he was very young he “knew he was a great disappointment to his parents” -- so I think it’s very likely he would fall into having a fearful attachment style, with both low self-esteem, and low trust in other people.

(Having a secure attachment with your caregiver also helps you develop good soothing strategies for your threat system! Another reason why his is so depleted…)

Attachment styles can change and improve, so I think that during his time at DS9 (maybe even during the Academy) as he begins to gain experiences of friends who do consistently choose him and with whom he is safe, he probably moves more towards the preoccupied category. But I do not think this man has ever made a *really* secure attachment in his life. 💔

I also don’t think he has ever examined this too deeply? Maybe after DBIP, hopefully some of his friends might have gone “that was a super fucked-up childhood you had there”, but I figure he probably attributes the way he approaches social situations to his autism (which due to his parents’ ableism, means he thinks “I’m doing socialising wrong and everyone else is doing it right so I should listen to everyone else and do it their way regardless of how I feel about it”) and so he doesn’t realise that actually his fear of being rejected and his craving for validation through meaningful relationships -- if he even recognises those feelings for what they are -- are unhealthy coping mechanisms that he could learn to shift into something more positive if he had the time and space and help of a professional.

His relationship with Palis was almost definitely a victim of this, imo. Even if he doesn’t realise it, he’s terrified that she will inevitably reject him (having a ridiculously catastrophic secret doesn’t help with this assumption, but being fearful-preoccupied also just lends him to believe that people are inevitably going to reject him) and so he makes his excuses and leaves her first.

Amatonormativity

Even if I hope that the 24th century is less amatonormative than now, I don’t think Julian has necessarily been able to benefit from that. Given how ableist his parents are, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to think that they might be queerphobic too, or at the very least dismissive of any lifestyle that isn’t the same as theirs.

In addition, on DS9, his best friends are Miles O’Brien (who has always been very vocal about how happily married he is) and Jadzia Dax (who had been as happy as he was to be flirty and single and not tied down, until she found her One True Love, and got married), which wouldn’t exactly help discourage the notion of “romantic love = marriage = happiness”. So I think that Julian has definitely internalised all this, and – especially since he’s been taking cues from those around him how to act and what to think about social situations his entire life – he accepts this whole “you need to have a partner” thing as true for him, just because it’s been true for his friends.

I headcanon Julian as being somewhere on the aromantic spectrum, too (hovering around WTFromantic) -- but crucially, he has no idea. He genuinely struggles to tell the difference between platonic and romantic feelings and guesses how he feels a lot of the time, but since he doesn’t know that he's guessing, he really believes he's in love. And because he has never connected the dots that he’s aro, he assumes the disconnect between *his* experience of love and everyone else’s is just down to his autism, and therefore everyone else is right and he needs to follow their lead in finding happiness through romantic love.

We also know that he really likes old books like James Bond. (I headcanon that he finds pre-1990s fiction safer, because there is no chance that the villain is secretly going to be an augment all along, or any other anti-augment prejudice or micro-aggression in them.) So despite being a 24th century guy, he becomes steeped in these 20th century views -- and with him trying to figure out all the time what’s a “normal” way to act, both in a “not-an-augment” sense and a “not-autistic” sense, he’s internalised a fair amount of “what love really is” from these books which, like, isn’t always great to say the least.

Season 6

QUARK: You know what's really sad, what really keeps me awake at night? She's out of reach because we let her go. BASHIR: I suppose so. But some things just weren't meant to be. Evade. O'BRIEN: Julian, are you sure you want to-- QUARK: Chief, please. You know the rules. No coaching during a round. You're probably right. But what if that's a convenient rationalisation? What if deep down in our heart of hearts we both know she's something unique, something we may never see again. A chance at true happiness and we let her slip through our fingers.

And so we come back to this conversation. Quark is manipulating Julian to win the game of tongo, but whether or not he knows how deeply his words will cut, they leave a lasting impression upon Julian.

Quark calls Jadzia “a chance at true happiness”, but when Julian repeats those words later -- despite his perfect recall -- he describes Dax as being his “one last chance for true happiness”. And this, I think, is what really gets to him.

We’re deep into Season 6 -- Julian is not “happy”. He’s become depressed, despondent, weighted down by the war. It’s not been long since Statistical Probabilities -- is he watching the casualty count grow, the war continuing exactly as they had predicted for the time being? At this point in time, “happiness” feels like a pipe dream for him.

How long has it been since he has truly had a long stretch of contentment? Most people put it at pre-Dominion-camp, right? So he had a pretty long stretch of being happy and (incidentally) in a relationship with Leeta from the end of Season 3 until s05e07, and then a few months later, he was kidnapped – which makes me think that if he’s thinking back on the “good old days” of DS9, it’s quite likely he’s thinking of a time when he was in a relationship.

Julian comes from a background of believing that no-one would accept him for who he is. Even in Statistical Probabilities, among his friends, O’Brien and Sisko and Worf all openly discuss how augments should have restricted access to general society. And that’s just the augmentations: he also knows that his personality can be annoying and off-putting to many people. So he thinks that it would take an extraordinary person to actually like him and want him.

> Back in Season 2, when he was talking about Palis, he said “Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I think to myself, will I ever find anyone that wonderful again?” Quark describes Dax as similarly unique -- and I think that strikes a chord with Julian, causing him to think “I lost Palis, I’ve lost Leeta, I’ve lost Dax -- how many more extraordinary people can there be? Dax really was my last chance.”

Julian doesn’t properly understand his feelings. He’s used to relying on other people to help him figure out what they are and how he should react.So Quark asserting that Julian does still feel attracted to Jadzia and does resent Worf and that he should have tried harder with Jadzia is something he accepts. (Just like later on, when Vic tells him he should be moving on, he accepts that very easily, too.)

> His preoccupied attachment style and fear of loneliness also means that he gravitates towards social interaction and people being friendly to him. After this, and particularly after Jadzia’s death, he starts having a bit more time for Quark: Quark’s inclusion of him in this “we both like Jadzia and resent Worf” club does provide him with some of that relationship-ness he needs, and even though he isn’t quite on the same wavelength as him, Quark is making him feel seen and understood, so if he’s lonely and there’s no-one else, he’ll probably seek Quark out that bit more.

>> And come to think of it, we’ve definitely seen Miles leaving Julian behind at the bar (with no-one to talk to but Quark) to go home to his wife and kids, just reinforcing the people-with-relationships-get-to-be-happy thing.

So yeah: Julian’s actually feeling some really big feelings about his loneliness and unhappiness and wanting to feel better, but he ends up projecting all of this onto his lack of a relationship, and more specifically, that Dax is probably the last person he’s going to come across who would accept him so completely.

Which sucks, and is a really toxic attitude. We don’t see it change the way he treats Dax on-screen, but even so, there is a sense of misplaced entitlement: he’s entitled to be happy and therefore he should have been entitled to have Dax. And I hate that for him. But he really is deeply, deeply afraid that without being in a relationship with her, he’s never going to feel genuinely happy again.

(Yes, he has friends, and he enjoyed spending time with them, like in Take Me Out To The Holosuite. But remember -- his threat system is constantly on with his fear of loneliness, and he doesn’t have the skills to actually soothe that fear and put it to rest. What he can do is use his malformed coping mechanism of distraction -- distracting himself with his friends and holosuite games and so forth. And no doubt they do give him some true satisfaction and validation -- but since he doesn’t have an internal source of validation, he’s lost when they can’t provide.

And additionally, when they can’t provide it’s often because they’re in a relationship. In the beginning of Chrysalis this is made super obvious, when Miles can’t hang out, and Kira and Odo are going to Vic’s together, alone, and he just ends up in bed working. Until 3am. I can’t help thinking he was somewhat trying to avoid being alone with his thoughts.)

And then Jadzia dies. And he has to refind his footing in a Daxless world and I can only imagine that he just accepts the depression is here to stay forever now.

Season 7

And now Chrysalis happens and firstly: I’m not here to make excuses for him. Chrysalis was pretty fucked-up, and irl I don’t think I could be friends with him after what he did. (But also irl I’d have given him a real talking to and not just accepted his bs like everyone else did in this episode and I think with that he might have realised earlier what he was doing so idk. I think if you’re gonna judge Bashir for this episode you also have to judge everyone else for standing by…)

Anyway, Sarina appears, appearing to be his dream woman, and Julian’s just lost.

It doesn’t happen immediately. When Sarina shows up on his doorstep and falls asleep on him, he is so awkward and uncertain what to do. And in the morning he’s still unsure and hesitant as to what this all means.

I’m certainly nor blaming Sarina -- she’s figuring everything out even more than Julian is! -- but when she makes breakfast for him and sends him off with it, I figure that is a massive romance-cue for Julian, who’s given up on his dreams of domesticity. If his feelings are just platonic at this point, he figures out they must actually be romantic, because people who are in love live together and make breakfast for each other. And if he has already started falling for her, it’s a confirmation that he’s allowed to fall for her, because they’re already acting romantically, and she started it. (Again, not an excuse -- he should have known that she is in no position to make a move to start a relationship.)

He’s not thinking logically and pursuing a relationship with his drive system, he’s still being driven by his threat system and fear of loneliness, and being in a relationship is the only thing that he can imagine will soothe him. (I mean tbh this has been his problem all along -- possibly even back to Palis -- and ugh, it sucks, because even though in a way he kind of can’t help it and he’s clueless to why he wants a relationship so much, it’s also kind of on him that he’s never done some serious self-reflection, and the fact that his trauma has led to him acting like this doesn’t negate the fact that he’s taking advantage of a very vulnerable woman and hurting her.)

It’s been implied by a) Quark, b) Vic, c) Bond-type books and d) most recently, Ezri, that he wasn’t quick enough to get Jadzia and should have tried harder. So of course, once he starts thinking he’s in love with her and that a romantic relationship is what they need, he’s desperate to start as soon as possible so that he doesn’t lose his chance. Because if he thought Dax had been his last chance, how much more is he going to be thinking that Sarina is his real last chance?

Sarina is pretty similar to him, and he can empathise a lot with her. And he knows how augments are treated by the world. And he knows how difficult it’s been for him, finding someone to love. And so he projects his own loneliness and fears onto her, and figures that being in a relationship is what they both need, because she’s unlikely to be given many chances either (which is kind of a contradiction to “I need to act now in case I lose her”, but hey, limbic system. Rational brain has long been taken out.)

And then as soon as he realises she’s only gone along with him because she feels like she owes him, it clicks and it’s over. It doesn’t make up for what he’s done but it genuinely never occurred to him -- and what’s more, he knows it should have occurred to him, and he still can’t figure out why he wasn’t more rational about this all.

> Which is also why none of the other characters were allowed to have a proper talk with him this episode because I think that would have made him realise what he was doing. (I know Miles kind of tried with “Julian, she’s your patient”, but when Julian came back with his excuses, Miles didn’t exactly argue against them.)

> And also, how much do you think that her telling him “I don't even understand what love is. I don't understand anything… What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to feel? Tell me. I want to make you happy” resonates with him. Does he realise that these are the things he’s been asking himself his whole life, that this is actually how he’s been living his life and doing relationships this whole time. Are these actually a direct reflection of his thoughts about her: meeting with his friends, showing her off at dabo (he was always so proud of Leeta, remember?), that whole cliche of a romantic dinner… Are these all things he felt he was meant to do to make her happy and to show her what a romantic relationship is like?

And the thing is -- he does learn from this experience, and we see that he doesn’t try to rush in with Ezri when he starts getting feelings for her. (Yes, his learning shouldn’t have come at the cost of Sarina’s wellbeing, but it did, and I’m just going to accept that because he’s a fictional character and also I love him.) I don’t know if he got to the bottom of figuring out why he went so off-the-rails with Sarina. But clearly, it’s a mistake he doesn’t want to repeat. And I do want to give him some credit for that.

So let’s go on to Ezri.

BASHIR: Funny, I was just starting to... O'BRIEN: Starting to what? BASHIR: I don't know. But there was something-- something about her, wasn't there? Something that made me happy, anyway. She was this old soul and yet so young at heart, and… and-- I don't know what I'm saying.

I read this as a sort of admission that he doesn’t know what romantic love is. He knows he felt something, but I don’t know if he found something in what Sarina said that makes him doubt and wonder if it is love that he’s been feeling, or something else. But also, he leaves before O’Brien and Quark can comment, not asking for anyone to help figure out what he’s feeling. (Particularly as Quark’s made it obvious he thinks Julian must be in love with Dax, even if he doesn’t want Julian to be in love with Dax.)

And then when she returns, they begin their whole awkward dance around each other: though interestingly, as he’s talking about his inability to talk to her about his feelings in their eventual conversation, he sounds genuinely confused, and even distressed, when he says “I mean, I'm not usually like this. If I find someone attractive, I just-- I just tell them. I don't play these ridiculous games.” It seems he’s been experiencing some subconscious barrier whenever he’s wanted to bring his feelings up -- probably not dissimilar to most people’s hesitation to ask out a crush, but like he said, that’s not usually his style at all.

Presumably, this is because he’s worried that he could lose Ezri altogether if he makes a move and his feelings are unrequited, along with the knowledge that pursuing Sarina had been the complete wrong thing to do. Although again, maybe more subconsciously than not: when Ezri suggests they’ve both been hesitating because of their friendship, it seems to click for Julian as something that he’d not properly registered before.

Additionally, at this point in the show, losing people to the war seems inevitable. There’s been a long period with very little hope that either Ezri or Worf are alive, Kira, Odo and Garak are all off on Cardassia doing goodness-knows-what, until Odo returns with the Founders’ disease and again, there’s very little hope that he’ll survive. So it’s not really surprising that Julian finds himself unable to speak to Ezri about his feelings, given that this is the time least suited to losing friends to stupid mistakes like telling them you love them.

I definitely think there’s more to say about Ezri and Julian, but I feel like I’m losing the plot of what I’m saying a bit, so I’m going to stop there.

In summary:

Julian’s driven by his threat system: his fear-of-failure, fear-of-loneliness and fear-of-discovery/fear-of-rejection-for-being-an-augment. He doesn’t realise how much this affects him.

Julian thinks that other people/pre-90s media know about romance and love more than him and he should try to emulate them rather than figure out what he wants from them.

Julian doesn’t really understand his own feelings – his upbringing never gave him the chance to, and it hasn’t occurred to him to explore them and figure out what makes him tick and what doesn’t.

He’s deeply unhappy by season 6 and relying on easy but short-lasting waves of happiness to get by (e.g.holosuite adventures)

Because of all these things, when it is presented to him that there is a way to get lasting happiness, and that one way is to be in a relationship, he buys into it completely – falling for that idea probably far more than he actually falls for any of the ladies in question.

#Looooooong post #But worth the read I hope!#Julian Bashir #Julian Bashir meta #autistic julian bashir #aromantic julian bashir #genetically enhanced julian bashir #god this man needs therapy 😅#andi writes #my trek musings #wsb

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tboyandor · 5 months

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return his quiet certitude to the soil

a lil melshian tidbit. meant to write more before spring semester but woooopppsss... also I've been having feelings about Nemik and his short-lived friendship with Cassian :')

title is once again from don't carry it all by the decemberists :) I cannot be stopped!!!!!

not sure exactly when this is set or where they are, just sometime between Andor and Rogue One.

@snaggletoothblues hope you enjoooyyyy!!

read on AO3 here

Cassian lay his head against Melshi's shoulder, watching his face as he listened to the quiet, incisive words of Nemik coming from the little datapad on the bedside table.

Melshi had been listening in relative silence for a long while, his brow slightly furrowed in serious concentration, occasionally making a small ‘hmm’ of recognition, but little more than that.

Finally, quietly, he asked:

“How did he die?”

Cassian swallowed, took in a breath of Melshi's strong, sweet scent to comfort him, before saying, “He took a pallet of credits to the stomach.”

Melshi let out a soft wince.

“It happened when I was getting us out of the garrison, on the trawler,” Cassian continued. “We were under fire, and we needed to get out, didn't have time to lock anything down before we lifted off. I pulled us out, and when I looked back… we should have been smarter, made sure everyone was up in the cockpit with me. I don't know why we didn't. I should have…”

“Hey, don't start,” Melshi interrupted, as soon as he noticed Cassian's breathing starting to become erratic.

He ran his hand gently along his arm, his fingers ghosting over the scar of a blaster burn on his bicep, before resting his hand at Cassian's belly, rubbing his thumb over the softness of his skin. Cassian's breathing calmed, slightly.

“It wasn't your fault, love,” Melshi said, turning his face a little to look at his partner. “You didn't have time. Shit happens, unfortunately. I'm sorry. I see now why you're so anal about making sure everything’s locked down before we take off.”

Cassian gave a small huff of laughter at that.

“Somebody needs to be,” he replied hoarsely.

Melshi smiled a little, and kissed his nose. Cassian nuzzled the side of his face, soft and rough at once.

“His writing is really good,” Melshi said, because it was true. Nemik had a way of putting things that made things click in Melshi's mind, thoughts and feelings about life under empire that he hadn't been able to put words to before.

“Yeah, it is,” Cassian agreed quietly. “All this time listening to it, it's probably what radicalized me. Along with… everything else.”

“There's been a whole lot of ‘everything else' for you, dearie,” Melshi observed.

“True, but it still helped a lot.”

“I can see why.”

Melshi stroked up Cassian's side, and down to the curve of his hip, and he let out a little sigh of gratitude for the loving touches, but the weight of some unspoken sorrow still remained in his eyes.

“I still don't understand why he gave it to me,” Cassian said after a moment. “I mean, he said I was his ‘ideal reader,’ or something, but… he never even knew my real name.”

Cassian's eyes misted over, and he closed them, and hot tears spilled down his cheeks onto Melshi's shoulder.

Melshi kissed his forehead softly, then drew him further into his arms, till Cassian was pressed flush against him, and was weeping softly into the crook of his neck.

He always cried so quietly, with rare exceptions, Melshi noted to himself. Melshi hoped that he didn't know the sound of Cassian crying better than the sound of Cassian laughing.

After a moment's consideration, he realized he knew both equally well.

Melshi pushed these questions from his mind, and focused on holding Cassian.

“Cass Cassy Kassa,” Melshi murmured in his ear, like a little loving incantation. “I love you.”

Cassian sniffled, and pressed a wet kiss to Melshi's neck.

“Rue,” he breathed softly and simply. “I love you too, so much.”

Then they both drifted off to sleep, the sound of Nemik’s voice and the meaning of his words mingling with their dreams.

#melshian #nemik #fic #my fic #andor #karis nemik #cassian andor #ruescott melshi #cassian x melshi #cassian andor x ruescott melshi

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asterpollux · 1 month

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I'm seeking 1x1 Discord based RP again, friends. Specifically as one of two of my characters really, though I am always open to making more OCs if need be as long as the idea floats my boat and you think we'd vibe!

I am a lazylit, 1-4 paragraph in 3rd person writer. I'm here to have fun, not fill word count quotas, and I really dig people who feel the same. I love open and communicative partners who are just as excited about their OCs as I am about mine. I'd love to get some MxM, NBixNBi or MxNBi (with me playing either of those) plots going tbh. Will consider FxNBi for the one NBi OC if I like your idea, but no promises.

Please go on my blog and read my pinned post before you contact me. Some short notices before I get into it: I am 32, you should be over 21 to RP with me, and your muse should be over 21 or, even better, over 25. No anime/manga faceclaims. Nothing too 'off the wall' either. I won't RP against a Hazbin Hotel character for example. My links aren't done yet but I can ping some stuff over if you're interested.

These characters, and their accompanying plots/universes, are generally made for adults only. They are adults, they do adult things, and I too am an adult that wants to write about adult things. So smut, sex, whatever you want to call it is inevitable. I don't mind sometimes fading to black but sex and sensuality are important to both of these characters' stories and I don't want to totally ignore that!

As such, I'm only really looking for people who are cool with a good smattering of smut and kink, and some heavier topics too, which can include Omegaverse if we decide to go that route, cruising & cottaging, anonymous sex and all that comes with that, underworld supernatural goings on, kink of varying types (of course that's depending on your preferences and mine, and how they mesh!)... Just, be mature and willing to write about adult things.

Now onto what I'm looking for. I have two characters inhabiting my brainbits at the moment.

CIARAN O'CONNOR [FC: David Tennant in Good Omens] (which is just one of the many aliases that he has gone by) is lonely. He's been lonely and hungry, in fact, for the past 1200 years. Bitten and turned by a vampire long since perished, when he was at the ripe age of 48, Ciaran has wandered the Earth for a time longer than most people find possible to even imagine. Cursed to walk alone forever, or so he thinks, he pushes away anyone who tries to get close, believing that they will be in mortal peril if they so much as befriend him.

I'm looking for ideally a Male or Nonbinary character to play alongside this Masculine Nonbinary character, but I'll consider Female characters too for Ciaran, for a modern with supernatural plot. Give me fellow vampires, werewolves, the undead, selkies, shapeshifters/changelings! I'd love to find him a Werewolf to play against to teach him how to love and find companionship after 1200 years of loneliness, and maybe we could introduce some omegaaverse shenanigans in there too if that is a thing you also enjoy.

PROFESSOR LEON RITTER [FC: Michael Sheen in Good Omens] - a literature professor - has newly moved to [city of our choosing] from Berlin. He's looking for a few things, chief amongst them for his past to stop following him around. He's a simple man who lives for writing and his books, as well as his pet Chihuahua, Betty. He seeks solace in stories... And sometimes in the darker corners of the city's streets and parks, too.

I'm looking for Male or Masculine Nonbinary characters to play alongside this Cis Male character. This plot is more grounded in reality than the previous, and has no supernatural or fantasy elements, (unless we decide to do something like modern omegaverse? IDK, I am open to that though!) I'd quite like to go one of two ways with him - a younger person, maybe a mature student in his classes, finds out what he does at night and at the weekends, simply by coincidence because they're also out cruising and cottaging, too. Or alternatively someone to calm him down and make him take care of himself for once.

I really, REALLY want to keep their face claims as is. I don't enjoy playing gym bunnies or most models, and want to keep their approx ages as they are also. It's the one thing I'm really inflexible on this time around folks, sorry if you're not a GO fan I guess!

If you're interested in plotting or chatting about either of these folks, please message me on oli.writes.stuff on Discord and we can get something worked out! <3

#1x1 #1x1 rp #1x1 smut #1x1 roleplay #indie 1x1 #discord 1x1 #smut 1x1 #1x1 discord #indie roleplay #independent rp #discord rp #discord roleplay #romance rp #oc roleplay #oc rp

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limetameta · 8 days

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Not a day goes by that I don’t think about the difference in Tom Riddle aka Lord Voldemort's characterization depending on a) pairing b) his sexuality in said story and c) the form he takes (snake or basic)

I spoke in length about the way authors who write Tom Riddle or Voldemort in Older Tom or Voldemort /Hermione stories absolutely write this power fantasy masculine fellow who's like the ideal dark mysterious and incredibly absurdly straight bordering on never had a gay thought in his life romantic partner who quite naturally isn't really allowed any hobbies outside of being a manipulative sex god who is going to plunder through dark tomes and a taming of the shrew and or submissive hermione granger (but she doesnt wanna admit it ofc so they have to have this long and exhausting song and dance until ultimately she is changed for the worse by the power of dark lord cock) (Ron Weasley bashing mandatory)

Though typically these stories never depict a snake voldemort. Could be in fact because this category of volmione shipper is deeply invested in writing some sort of dark lord bridgerton fantasy. Plus it doesnt quite manage to overlap with monsterfuckers who a) delight in the macabre b) know what a hemipenis is and c) forked tongue rights

The snake voldemort dark lord who is typically either unhinged in the same way a person with a gun who happens to also deal with dementia is tends to generally not fancy Hermione. In part because Hermione is never Hermione in Volmione stories - she is always in actuality meant to be the Reader or the Author living out her sexy boudoir fantasies. And these authors don't like snake voldemort.

Now who likes snake voldemort? Based off of my reading experience hot damn the harrymort portion of the fandom goes crazy for this man. In part because this is a gay pairing and we all know how much gay queer etc folks go crazy for monsterfucking and loving because if someone can love this monstrocity then theres love for me out there too. More eloquent people have written on the phenomenon on monsterfucking and the correlation between queer people and it. I am here to talk about the fact that Snake Voldemort characterization compared to Basic Tom Riddle characterization even in Harrymort is vastly different (depending on author, position, au, etc etc) BUT. These are the main things I have noticed from my unfortunately extensive reading and interaction:

Snake Voldemort is typically a) asexual b) harrysexual because thats his horcrux c) rapist (suppose this is yet another way to generally show what a monster voldemort is. if there isnt a muggle raping orgy among the death eaters, are you really writing the death eaters?/ sarcasm )

This man does not have any thoughts of his own other than harry mine mine, global domination, murder, death, nagini, hiss hiss, hemipenis

There are, of course, outliers where they write Voldemort as a 3 dimensional being and I love them to bits, though they are outliers, perhaps even exceptions that prove the rule of preferred fandom characterization.

Older Tom Riddle in harry pairings kind of dips his foot in the older tom riddle volmione characterization but dips right back out before submerging in a dark bodice ripping fantasy characterization. They keep the manipulation and this continues to be a fantasy where there is a naive younger partner who needs to be shepherded by a stronger hand. Harry and Hermione both are meant to just give in and be shown the wondrous world of a) orgasams and b) a slight type of bimbofication where oh voldemort knows better so you should just do as he says and not think . Depends on the story! Not a rule, but a majority.

Seme and uke dynamics were popular and or mandatory in harrymort or tomarry pairings and we all know what a limiting and rigid dynamic those were.

These days more and more people are writing a multidimensional lord voldemort for all pairings and I gotta say its very nice. Good to sometimes open up a story and see the man have a hobby or not be too homophobic to take a cock up the arse.

As for Bellamort - kind of the same as Volmione but the sex is much more graphic. Haven't read enough to actually talk about.

#Lord voldemort #Limeta

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findroleplay · 1 month

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Now onto what I'm looking for. I have two characters inhabiting my brainbits at the moment.

If you're interested in plotting or chatting about either of these folks, please message me on oli.writes.stuff on Discord and we can get something worked out! <3

#rp #roleplay #oc rp #original rp #fandomless rp #mxm rp #supernatural rp

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rp-partnerfinder · 1 month

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Now onto what I'm looking for. I have two characters inhabiting my brainbits at the moment.

If you're interested in plotting or chatting about either of these folks, please message me on oli.writes.stuff on Discord and we can get something worked out! <3

#21+ rp #oc rp #original plot roleplay #original character roleplay #roleplay #rp #rp finder #roleplay search #1x1 rp #roleplay finder #indie rp

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omegaverserping · 1 month

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Now onto what I'm looking for. I have two characters inhabiting my brainbits at the moment.

If you're interested in plotting or chatting about either of these folks, please message me on oli.writes.stuff on Discord and we can get something worked out! <3

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nekoannie-chan · 2 years

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It’s blue inside

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader.

Word count: 1070 words.

Summary: Steve never imagined how lost he would be when you disappeared as a result of the Snap.

Warnings: Angst, sadness, but I promise it has a happy ending.

A/N: This is my entry to @until-theend-oftheline’s Tell me a story challenge:

“Demons by Imagine Dragons”

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics be posted in other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

My other media where I publish: Wattpad, Ao3, ffnet.

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @harrysthiccthighss @marvelatthisone @hallecarey1 @caplanbuckybarnes @nana1000night

The morning had been very quiet. You still have not had your first mission as a married couple. However, everything changed when the chaos Thanos was causing began.

After an arduous battle, you lost. For the first time in your lives, you lost to the enemy. You were in shock, watching as Bucky disappeared after Thanos snapped. However, suddenly you felt a warm surge running through your body. You looked down and understood what was going on. You tried to call Steve, but your voice didn't come out. You didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to him. When you looked up, he was also seeing you. You've never seen a look with so much terror in it.

"Steve..."

"Y/N, calm down, everything will be fine, everything will be fine, I prom...," he dropped to his knees.

Things were not to happen that way. You were barely a month into getting married, as well as a week away from your honeymoon. Now Steve didn't know what to do. You had so many plans, it wasn't fair what was happening.

Both had promised that you would have a quieter life, that you would occasionally go on missions, but most of all, that you would enjoy the rest of your lives together. What had happened, ruined all his plans, should never have happened.

Steve Rogers was angry with the situation. He waited so long to find his ideal partner, to get to know you, to find out that you were the love of his life. After you had finished with Thanos, discovering that there was no way you could undo what happened, Steve began to lose interest in the missions, very rarely going with what was left of the rest of the team; somehow he was moving away from others.

Sometimes it seemed as if Natasha, Clint, Tony, and the others had already resigned themselves to what had happened and continued with their lives as if it had never happened.

That snap ruined Steve Rogers' life. Maybe I will never be the same man I was in the past again, not without you.

Steve's nights were now lonely and seemed eternal to him, just as the days. He had lost the two most important people in his life. It didn't matter that the others were still there; the feeling of loneliness and sadness did not leave him.

It didn't seem fair to him at all. He had practically lost everything. He had finally found happiness, and then that happened.

He preferred to be alone since almost everything reminded him of you. He felt guilty for not having fulfilled his promise to protect you and be with you forever. I had no idea how to fix what happened or how to recover.

Despite everything, he could not get used to the fact that this would be the rest of his life. He refused to accept it. He did not care if he had to sell his soul to the Devil himself if he could save you.

The last five years had become a great void of darkness for him. Even the others said that he seemed more taciturn and less like the Steve they knew, but what they did not understand was that you were the reason for his happiness. However, when Scott told them what happened to him, hope began to invade Steve. Maybe he couldn't help much with the technology part, but he started fixing everything to help you in the adaptation process when you came back, just as you had done with him when he woke up from the ice.

I also counted the days and hours until I saw you again. Somehow they were going to make up for a lost time, so everything would be as before. Even the others were a little puzzled by Steve's sudden change in behavior, mostly because they weren't sure if what they were about to do would work.

Steve held his breath when he saw that they were starting to come back. He could feel how tears began to accumulate in his eyes. However, he held back. First, he needed to confirm that all that was really happening was not a dream like the many he had had while sleeping.

"Steve?" you asked in confusion. You looked around and several things looked different. You suspected that something had happened, but you weren't sure what. Steve ran to hug you. It was as if he was afraid that you were going to disappear. Steve, what happened?

"Nothing, now everything is fine. I assure you; that everything is fine. "Something like this will not happen again, I promise you," Steve whispered without letting go.

Once they arrived at his home, Steve explained in detail everything that had happened since the moment the decimation occurred. As he told you, you were dumbfounded. You remembered the feeling and then darkness, but even when you came back, you thought you had fainted or something. You looked closely at Steve's face. Yes, it felt a little different. He smiled with a little sadness, and you took his face in your hands and kissed him.

"We can go on our second honeymoon," Steve proposed.

"Steve, we barely have a month of... oh, I've missed all our anniversaries."

Don't worry, we still have a lot of time and we're going to enjoy it. If you want to travel all over the world, I don't mind retiring from the Avengers, from the missions... "

"Steve, we need our jobs."

"Yes... Well... Well, we will do what you want. With you I am happy. If you want us to go on missions, we will. If you want us to travel, so it will be. "

"Steve, shut up," you replied. You still couldn't process everything that had happened, nor did you feel able to make any decision about something yet. It was very difficult to understand what happened. You closed your eyes and pressed your temples with your fingers. You were trying to understand the situation.

"Are you okay?" He was approaching you. He wasn't going to let something happen to you. He didn't want to lose you again. He knew he wouldn't stand it.

"I'm fine," you replied, opening your eyes and smiling. I'm trying to understand what happened. By the way, I love you, Steve. "

He replied, "I love you more," and he kissed you.

#Tell me a story challenge #tellmeastorychallenge #steve rogers x reader

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tommyarashikage · 6 months

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1-6 for sol/sean!

thank you macy for enabling me :-) 💜

6 answered here!

1. What, specifically, was the catalyst for their physical attraction (if applicable) to the other character? In other words, what in particular had them like “Oh, they’re...hot...”

So, funny situation. They first meet in Sól's bar. Sean had his eye on her because he knew who she was but also because he thought she was pretty. He on the other hand was just kind of miserable looking, wet cat of a man, the usual. Still, there was something about him that piqued her interest, aside from him seeming extremely mysterious/shady. However, it wasn't until he (easily) fought the guys that threatened her that she thought he is hot. Sól standing her ground to those guys is what incited Sean to fight them in the first place. Admirable but also attractive. (Does that still count as physical attraction? lol)

2. Does this change over time? What things do they find “hot” about their partner after they’ve been together for some time, and have had more time to, well, notice and appreciate?

It doesn't change at all. It gets "worse" actually! Sól can't help but stare whenever Sean gets into a fight, which doesn't happen that often, but she enjoys it a little too much. Additionally, whenever he threatens someone, he does it in a taunting way, voice low. It does something to her. Which is not ideal because they fight each other later on, and well he doesn't lose that mannerism.

As I mentioned above, Sól isn't easily intimidated. She knows what power she holds and it fuels her confidence. That's something Sean finds hot. And mixed with her snark, sarcasm and playfulness it becomes even more enjoyable. That playfulness can also become alluring. Also, during intimate moments, even when they're just close to each other, the look she gives him, through half-lidded eyes, it does something to him. So, they both have a weak spot.

3. By contrast, what was the moment that first made their ~heart~ Soft for the other person? Not necessarily a conscious realization of “I love this person,” but a moment that had them like “Oh...I adore them...”

I've mentioned this in 6. but when Sól finds out they're actually enemies and laughs about it, that's when Sean realizes how much he adores her. Just generally her playful nature that no one else gets to see is what he adores so much about her. This is actually based on a song but it fits them well; she jokingly tells him '7 years of bad luck if you break my heart'. He found it funny at the time. Haha.

Seeing Sean go from the miserable loner that lurks in her bar to the lively soul (and lowkey bastard. really he is a smug bitch [affectionate]) makes Sól adore him. Everyone around her is usually in a serious or grim mood, even her sister as of late. So, he's great company.

4. Does this change over time? What will always reliably make them melt with how much they adore the other character?

WELL, technically not. Even though they both tell themselves they're over it. Those little things are what slowly draw them to each other again. It's the memories they have. They still see remnants of the person they loved, mostly in their eyes. But the main reason is Toby. When they see how the other treats him. Additionally, he really is his parents' son. They see so much of the other in him.

5. How do they consciously realize that they like the other character? Does it take them a while?

For Sean, there was this one night when he planned on telling her everything about himself. What he hasn't done yet, for the most part. And it scared him because he himself doesn't even like to think about it. She told him he didn't have to, what she knew was more than enough because those are the parts she learned of herself, just by being with him. It surprised him and for a second he would have left it at that but he felt like she deserved to know as much as he did about her. So, he did. And unlike he expected she didn't leave. She understood because they do have something in common when it comes to family. He devoted his whole life to her that night.

As for Sól, this certain scenario is actually a universal feeling to her; watching someone sleep in her bed or arms gives her a feeling of comfort and contentment she otherwise doesn't experience. It happens with her sister, with Sean and later with Toby. The first night she and Sean shared a bed, he fell asleep first and the feeling was indescribable to her. He was so calm it warmed her whole chest, it was such a rare sight. That's when she realized just how much she loved him.

#thank you!! <3 #oc: sól guevara #oc: sean thian #sól x sean #x: i'll give you everything of me #am i making them too fluffy?#their only toxic trait is that they're trying to kill each other #otherwise green flags only 😊

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chqnified · 1 year

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Thank you for the tag @abiaswreck <33

Sorry it took me so long to do. Tagging @niche-bitch @anautumncarol if you both want to do it, no pressure though <3

1. Birthday?

24/7 ... I love using it as a pun.

2. Favorite color?

Black would be the overall agreed colour. But here are a few parts favourite colours: Felix is blue, Isla is lilac, Echo is blue, Avi is black, Celia is blue, Dani is red.

Mine is red and black.

3. How tall are you?

5"7 irl.

4. How many pair of shoes to you own?

2, one pair of regular black converse and a pair of Dr martens max platforms. I also have a pair of cheer shoes, but it'd break my brain to wear them outside after being conditioned to never step foot outside of the gym of competitions with them lol

5. Favorite song?

Favourite song of all time, Side effects by skz.

6. Favorite movie?

The Call

7. Who would be your ideal partner?

My current partner. Caring, understanding, funny and attentive. They literally remember the tiniest of things I would have randomly told them about months ago and I find that endearing tbh.

8. Do you want children?

Yes. I'd adopt 3 children I think. Definitely at least one child. Sounds cringey, but I want to give them the world yk...

9. Have you gotten in trouble with the law?

Nope.

10. What color socks are you wearing?

Black. I only own black long socks, or black / white sports socks.

11. Favorite type of music?

K-pop and Alternative. But, tbh, as a system, our music taste is very varied.

12. How many pillows do you sleep with?

3.... But..... I was supposed to get rid of the third as I was bought a replacement pillow for one of my old ones..... But I'm hoping nobody will notice I kept it.

13. What position do you sleep in?

On my side or stomach

14. What don’t you like when you’re sleeping?

Any lights on. The glow in the dark stars on our wall are fine, but light as in sunlight, lights, screen light, lamp light or even you know the tiny lil lights on machines that signals they're on standby or whatever. Really annoys me. Oh, also noise, that isn't my music from earpods.

15. Have you tried archery?

Yes. I wasn't too bad at it actually.

16. Favorite fruit?

Lychees ? Mango is great too.

17. Are you a good liar?

Yes. Now see, most people would say I'm a bad liar, but being brutally honest, if I didn't want you to know truly, you wouldn't. I pick and choose. Also.... If you're labelled a bad liar, it makes it all the more easier lol.

I'd like to add, I don't go out of my way to deceive people to harm them or be shitty, I would do so to keep myself and the system safe. If you have to loose battles to win others in more important circumstances, that's what I'll do. I think tbh, it'd only make sense if you lived my life

18. What’s your personality type?

Istp apparently

19. Innie or outie?

20. Left or right handed?

Right handed, left footed.

21. Favorite food?

Hash brown with ketchup

22. Favorite foreign food?

Idk, I love pretty much most Chinese and Greek food ig. It's so good 🤨

23. Are you clean or messy?

I'm very pedantic, everything has its place, shelves have to be dusted as well as skirtings, picture rail etc. So yeah clean. Tidying is also my way of taking my mind off things.

24. Most used phrase?

'your mum' 'bestie' 'slay' 'so anyways'

.... I don't have any justifications.

25. How long does it take you to get ready?

Depends if I need a shower or to wash my hair. If I've showered the night before already, 30mins (including getting out of bed). If I need to shower and maybe wash my hair, 1h.

26. Do you talk to yourself?

Well. Yeah. But I mean, as parts, we're usually always around one another, so, I don't talk to myself often.

27. Do you sing to yourself?

Rarely.

28. Are you a good singer?

Ask the neighbors.

29. Biggest fear?

Being hated. Loosing everyone.

30. Are you a gossip?

No. I don't have the energy. Our only gossips are Aris, Echo and potentially Erin.

31. Long or short hair?

Long for a boy, short for a girl. Depends on what stereotypes you're basing it on.

32. Favorite school subject?

Biology and stats.

33. Extrovert or introvert?

Introvert

34. What make you nervous?

Depends on the day. But loud noises, especially loud unexpected noises are anxiety inducing for me

35. Who was your first crush?

Uhmmmmm I think it was one of my 'boyfriend''s older sister.... I was 6 or 7 at the time, leave me alone.

36. How many piercings do you have?

Only 2 currently but will be getting some more between now and the end of summer.

37. How many tattoos do you have?

None, but I really want to get some

38. How fast can you run?

Faster than an ostrich. Definitely.

39. What color is your hair?

Light brown

40. What color are your eyes?

Blue

41. What makes you angry?

Really random things. Probably big hypocrites the most though. oh and when people have opinions on something they have no knowledge about/ done no research on.... And refuse to listen to someone who knows about it more than them

42. Do you like your name?

Birth name no. Collective name (Charlie) all of us don't mind/like the name. The system name (Eleutheria) we all chose it out together, so definitely love the name, it has a lot of meaning for us. Our individual names, most of us picked out our own name so again yes.

44. What are your strengths?

I can accurately adjust myself according to my surroundings/environment/people I'm with to fit in without thinking.

45. What are your weaknesses?

I get too attached to people. I'm also extremely emotionally erratic

46. What’s the color of your bedspread?

Grey

47. What’s the color of your room?

My room carpet is aqua blue, my walls are light grey and white, my curtains are dark grey. My bedsheets vary, blu, grey or lilac. So overall. Blue / grey

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darkrpfinder · 1 month

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Now onto what I'm looking for. I have two characters inhabiting my brainbits at the moment.

If you're interested in plotting or chatting about either of these folks, please message me on oli.writes.stuff on Discord and we can get something worked out! <3

oli.writes.stuff

#oc rp #oc roleplay #fandomless rp #fandomless roleplay #mxm #nbxnb #mxnb #fxnb #rp search #dark roleplay #dark rp #spicy rp #18+ mun

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