#also pratchett. i am not a fantasy enjoyer until i have read pratchett but every time someone points out a narrative as similar to pratchett

[gideonisms]

I have to read things I know are going to irritate me in order to actually be irritated by them. Vibes based irritation is out backing up my opinions is in. But the problem is that means I have to read them

[jamlocked]

For the identity ask thing: 2, 6, 15 :)

2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?

Uhhhh…hmm. I think there’s a reason I’ve lived on a steady diet of Terry Pratchett since I first read Reaper Man at age ten. But then, the very fact I start reading him young could mean that he influence the way I thought, rather than just resonating with how I thought already. Either way, a pretty bloody good worldview to identify with.

I also have to shout out to @summeringminor here; we might differ in the odd Jim Moriarty headcanon, but we’re both pretty much here for the beauty of pain and suffering. :D

6. are you religious/spiritual?

In a word…yeah. I guess. I would not call myself religious at all, though I grew up going to church most weeks. The older I’ve got, the more anti-organised religion I’ve become. Hard not to be, when you start seeing the things people do and say while using God as an excuse. But I also can’t deny that I’ve known many, many wonderful people who are religious and use that faith to do great, helpful, caring things. I will also never tell anyone they’re wrong to believe what they believe, as long as they’re not hurting anyone else with those beliefs. 

As for me, personally - well, I’m not an aetheist, lets put it that way. It’s  complicated, in that no one ever really knows, but really simple in that I have no trouble believing in a higher power. And it may just be humans and our collective power, but if so there’s no truer God than that. 

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

…oh man. What a question. GAH. 

Okay, well, I’m just going to pick five that have stood out at different points in my life because otherwise I will have a shortlist of hundreds. 

Good Omens - Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. 

I must have read this a dozen times when I was a teenager. I used to get to the end of it, then go right back and start it over again. I think it was the first book that made me think about religion, and the way it is in the world. I think I was about eleven when I read it first, which was also the age I was both confirmed, and stopped going to church. Reading Good Omens made me think about religion outside the confines of organised religion, and massively expanded my horizons. 

 It - Stephen King.

I was also a teenager when I read this. I think books are usually the most influential when you’re that age, probably? Anyway, I think I was thirteen. There had been lots of books - every book, practically; I used to read one a day - that I just couldn’t stop until I’d finished. But this is the first one I clearly remember not wanting to finish. It scared the everloving shit out of me, but it sucked me into a world that was so fully realised, both on the page and in my head, that I just couldn’t get out of it. That was the first horror book I read, the first Stephen King, and it opened my eyes to a whole new kind of fiction. I’d read a multitude of kid’s books, and Enid Blyton, and I’ve mentioned my early love of Terry Pratchett. I’d also devoured a good chunk of the classics by that age (I counted Far From the Madding Crowd as my favourite book) - but this was something new. I read a ton of SK after that, but none quite held the magic of It. 

Unnamed kid’s story/author unknown

Okay, so, in primary school you get set reading books for your age, et cetera, and when you get through those you’re allowed to be a ‘free reader’ - or that’s how it was when I was that age, idk. So anyway, I blazed through all the set stuff, and once I had the freedom of the library, I picked up this random book of short stories one afternoon. They were age-appropriate, of course, and this one story was about a group of kids who built their own go-karts, and had a massive race with them. Maybe once a year, maybe more often, idk. So of course, there was one kid who was better than all of them, won every time, built his own kart and no one could beat him et cetera. I strapped in for the usual kid’s fare of a new pretender showing up, and either taking the crown, or this kid - who I think was called Billy - overcoming the odds to win again. It was told from the POV of another kid, who also raced but couldn’t touch Billy. And Billy seemed like a decent guy, he wasn’t a bully or anything. 

So anyway, blah blah, they built their karts, they had the race. All was as expected. And then…a car showed up. Billy and New Pretender were neck and neck at the finish line, everyone’s screaming and cheering, and…Billy crashes into the car. God, I can still remember my shock, and how I jumped from ‘this is exciting, but normal’ to ‘omg, wtf is happening.’ But I also remember thinking, ‘but he won, and he’ll be fine.’ And the reason I remember it all so clearly is because…well, here’s Billy’s final words. ‘No, I didn’t. I lost.’

Someone told him that he won the race. But he didn’t, and then he hit the car, and then he died. And he died knowing he’d been beaten.

Like…I was young when I read this, about eight. Maybe younger. The notion that the focus of a story could not win and then actually die…I was not prepared for that. It stuck with me as the first real idea that things don’t always turn out the way you think. Good guys don’t always win, you don’t always achieve the things you think you will. A pretty hard lesson for a primary schooler, but it made me think about things in a different way from then on. 

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - Robert M. Pirsig

Moving on from childhood…this book. Fuck, man, this book. I was 21 or 22 when I read it, and I‘m not even going to talk too much about about it because I can’t remember the details. There’s too much in it to try and explain anyway. But I remember reading it because my best mate recced it, and it didn’t seem very promising at first. And then I got sucked in, and I just could not stop. It’s semi-autobiographical, it’s about a road trip a man is taking with his son, it’s all about philosophy and self, and then mental illness, and…God. There wasn’t a single page that didn’t make me think. It made me start a course in philosophy. It was just a wonderful experience from start to finish, and I’ve never read it since because I don’t want to break that magic. But I will read it again. I’m going to find free time, and indulge myself fully. It was just that good. 

sdlfkj I really can’t pick a fifth and I’m rambling on forever, so I’m going to go for a really simple and obvious choice. 

The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkein

My dad gave my sister a copy of this when I was ten, and she was thirteen. I remember thinking how grown up it looked because it was all black and had a dragon on the front. By the time I was twelve I had nicked it off her bookshelf, and I don’t think she ever got it back. It’s another one I read endlessly through my teen years, and it was influential because it my first introduction to that type of fantasy. I couldn’t tell you exactly why Tolkein’s fantasy feels different to Pratchett’s - maybe it’s just more Old Worlde, and of course the writing style is more old-fashioned. It just felt more highbrow, less ‘fun’, but just as enjoyable. It was like travelling back in time, as well as to a different world. I massively preferred the Discworld to Middle Earth - and still do - but I remember loving The Hobbit for its introduction to something I’d never come across before. And when I wrote my first fantasy story when I was about fifteen, it was a perfectly terrible mish-mash of pterry’s satirical style and Tolkien’s highbrow backdrop (and I am serious when I say it was terrible. It was terrible). But any time I think of books that have influenced me and what I like, what I use as a touchstone, what I think of fondly - The Hobbit is always among the first that springs to mind. 

(I re-read it a couple of years ago, and was struck by how simplistic and childlike it seemed. Inevitable, given I’m so much older and have read so much more now. But it doesn’t diminish the fond memories I have of that first love for it.)

I AM SORRY FOR RAMBLING ON FOREVER. Me and books, idk. But thanks for the ask. :)

[stabigail]

11 questions meme

1tagged by @myrkks, tagging....... @pentaughast @ghoste-catte @beamkatanachronicles anyone who wants to ig :V

1. how would you describe your writing style or “voice” as a writer?

HONESTLY i still feel like i’m growing into my style, lol! and i often feel inconsistent, but i think part of that is a lack of confidence, still, forever #justwritingproblems. being more realistic, i would say that i tend to write from a very firm point of view and my narrators tend to be quite unreliable; i also tend to focus a lot on sensory details. generally i’m very much a stream of consciousness writer! it’s what i love 2 do.

2. do you prefer to write in first person, second person, or third person, and why? which tense do you prefer?

it depends on what i’m working on, and i definitely flip-flop some, but i almost always write in third person. for me, first person works really well for Very Unreliable Narrators who are trying to skew their story in a certain light, or for stories that are literally one person talking to other people. i love love love first person in podcasts! alice isn’t dead is probably my favorite podcast that utilizes first person, and i really love the depth of emotion that it conveys as a result, so i am more likely to us first person for projects like that.

generally, though, i struggle with first person because it limits narration in a way that i struggle with at times. second person kind of creeps me out as a writer because i feel like a soulbonder?? WHICH IS NOT A KNOCK ON SECOND PERSON, i think it makes for beautiful work, but it’s just not for me. so 3rd person limited is my favorite and has been for a while!

as for tense, i used to write exclusively in past tense but now i write exclusively in present tense and i couldn’t even tell you why. is it because the focus on the present makes for more dynamic writing? is it because i’m pretentious? is it both? likely.

3. what is one thing that inspires/motivates you as a writer these days?

oh man haha . . . spite . . . no not really, it’s a little spite but more feeling a lack and a motivation to fill it! my original work right now is based around a lot of feelings i have about both personal and global uncertainty, and while it isn’t a political piece at all, i’ve definitely found motivation to explore topics that i wish were easier to talk about. when it comes to fandom stuff, it’s usually “i love this pairing, but i never see work for it” or “i love this pairing, but i wish there was more diversity of work around it,” because i like filling gaps and also just always fall for pairings few other people care about. i’m also deeply motivated to write character exploration pieces for fandom because holy shit, nothing makes me happier than picking apart a character’s motivations and rearranging them in a new form. i’m the sylar of other people’s characters.

that being said, sometimes my motivation is “why are there only like 2 smut fics of this lesbian pairing and 238974293874 of this pairing of 2 dudes” and that is spite and i’m not sorry for it.

4. what is one of your strengths as a writer?

uhh,,,, i think i have a good attention to detail? is that a cop-out answer? maybe. i have a good grasp of figurative language, i think, and i actually am quite proud of that now that i think about it. i used to write super purple prose, and through the past few years i’ve been able to really neaten my writing up so that it’s . . . still flowery! always will be! not sorry! but it’s not overbearingly so, and the figurative language i use enhances the story rather than drowning it. shoutout to @pentaughast who has been writing with me for like five years and giving me feedback until my writing stopped being a horrible disaster thicket of metaphors, you’re a pal.

5. what is something you’d like to improve about your writing?

(rolls out scroll)

no but seriously: my number one thing to improve right now is learning to stop editing while i write. every writer is their own worst critic, but i will literally write half a sentence and then go back and change the whole thing, because i’m convinced that everything has to be Perfect the First Time. which is in fact a microcosm of my entire personality. so, anne, don’t edit while you write! also, your first draft is not your final draft! i don’t feel a need to just barf out a certain number of words per writing session, but i do think it’ll benefit me to have momentum and iron out kinks later.

6. what is one genre you enjoy writing in, and why?

hmmm this is interesting because genre is such a broad and subjective thing. that said: urban fantasy is and has always been my jam! i wouldn’t say i’m particularly good at it simply because 1) it is a super vague genre with few hard and fast rules, so i’m not sure how much of my stuff is urban fantasy even, and 2) i’ve been struggling a lot with writing original stuff over the past few years, which is where i have written urban fantasy stuff in the past.

overall i enjoy writing in fantasy or fantasy/sci-fi most of all genres, but never high fantasy because it causes me physical agony. aspects of f/sf i like a lot are basically f/sf as a mirror to our world or otherwise connected to our world (without necessarily using f/sf components as a substitution for actual discussion of oppression cuz, nah,) as well as f/sf as satire, that is my FAVE. discworld (t. pratchett) was the first fantasy series i really locked onto and it was v formative, obviously; also gaiman, stiefvater, jemisin. this question was not about my influences but too bad here they are!!!!!!!!!!

7. what would be the biggest compliment someone could give you about your writing?

the biggest, biggest compliment would be: while i was reading this, i forgot the world existed. because that has always been the biggest thing for me as a reader! the way reading can just take you somewhere, so no matter how shitty things might be in your actual situation, you can just take a break from that and follow bilbo around, or whatever. another really excellent compliment that i actually have gotten (both in writing fic and rp) is “i can hear their voice,” either in narration or dialogue. that’s huge! and it makes me really happy to hear. basically i would love for my writing to be an immersive experience for people, and that’s what i’m always striving to improve.

8. what is one piece of advice you’d give someone experiencing writer’s block or feeling stuck with their writing?

READ

idk, for me, fighting my writer’s block literally does not work. just staring at a piece of paper or a computer screen makes me upset and frustrated. reading, though, is both enjoyable and relatively passive; you don’t have to come up with ideas, you just have to take in someone else’s. as a writer, too, you can read both as an audience member and as a fellow writer observing. what does this author do that works or doesn’t? how does this style work in this context where it might not in another? how does it relate to your style? etc.

more generally, do something nice for yourself cuz sometimes that will boost your creative spirit. self-care is huge!

9. what is one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you started writing?

lskdjfskld uh . . . don’t follow any of the advice people give you because most of it either only works for specific people or is entirely bullshit? i suppose more specifically i wish someone had been more supportive of fantasy/sci-fi as a legitimate genre with meaning, although of course that is a societal view rather than a specific one that surrounded me as a kid. it’s shitty, though, because until fairly recently i viewed the type of writing i enjoyed as “less than”/less meaningful than like, i don’t know, anything written by racist old dead white guys.

also, young adult fiction is fucking valid and doesn’t make you a less “serious” writer. i, a Fucking Grown Up, am still most captivated by YA fiction because there are fewer restrictions on it and writers tend to experiment more and, most importantly, because stories about transformation and trying to figure out who you are will never not be compelling.

10. what is a common piece of writing advice you disagree with, and why?

rubs hands together

one: write what you know. what the fuck is that, i want to know who came up with it because fuck? you??? definitely it’s fine to write about things that you have a personal perspective about, or to write in a way that reflects your worldview or emotions or whatever. but write what you know is literally the stupidest, most limiting garbage, and i have met so many grown ass adults who believe in it so strongly. curse that mess.

two: you must construct x type of work in y format following z formula. a lot of times this is really great and works well for people, but other times it can be, again, really limiting. beginning-middle-end is great, but even that can be inappropriate for certain stories, depending on what they are? for me, strictly following writing formulas made me overly focused on “”accuracy”” and less focused on writing what i enjoyed.

three: this one isn’t quite as cut and dry as the previous two, but: write protagonists that people can relate to. here’s the thing: i feel like this often gets translated to “protagonists that are charmingly aware of their own assholeishness, totally perfect and always right, or bland,” and it’s kind of a shitty trap to fall into? this is another reason i love unreliable narrators, bcause you can have that nuance and imperfection without the entire story being about how shitty the character is. their imperfection is part of the story and perhaps even a driving force, but they aren’t just sort of a paper cutout used to drive the story along. hello i’m anne and i struggle writing protagonists.

11. what writing projects are you working on these days?

excited buzzing. a couple! i am really shy about talking about original stuff, but i am working on scripts for (tentatively) a podcast about a very apathetic and cynical gal who is one of a very few survivors of a series of natural disasters and also may?be the one who made them happen. Whoopsie.

fanfiction-wise, i am working on finishing . . . christ on a raft let me count. four! one-shots. there’s a fifth one that i wrote 10k words of in like 2015 and still haven’t finished and i don’t know if i’ll trash it or not lol. regardless, i am working on those! there is a fic that i started working on a while back that was meant to be a multi-chapter fic called reverse about giorno tripping into vampirism and fugo having 0 idea what to do about it; i’ve let it dangle for ages, but i am slowly fleshing out the plot again and getting it going. i’m very excited to do this! i love giorno having to figure out how to vampire and i love fugio.

finally, @relares and i are starting to work on a reset fugiomis fic which, weeps into tea, will kill us both.