#also some of my favorite films that i didn't mention because i'm sure most of my mutuals have seen them already are dog day afternoon

[mityenka]

hey felice!!! what are some of your favorite films that you would recommend checking out? hope you're having a good day<3🪻

hi jess‼️ my favorite film of all time is down by law (1986) which should come as no surprise to anyone who remembers my old url. i've been watching a lot of french films recently, some of my favorites were céline and julie go boating (1974) and la chinoise (1967). i also like rear window and dial m for murder, both by hitchcock, and slacker by richard linklater!

[thelittleliars]

Hoodie

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Words: 1.3K

Summary: Someone stole your favorite hoodie.

AN: I had this cute little idea for an au. So here it is! Natasha in a hoodie is still one of my favorite looks of her.

You had been looking everywhere for your favorite hoodie for over an hour but it seemed like it disappeared from the face of the earth. The last time you saw it was a couple days ago when it laid on your desk. You were sure of it. Nothing but an old nirvana t-shirt and purple hoodie that Kate forgot was on your desk. Continue looking for your hoodie would only waste more time so you decided to visit your best friend who lived a couple blocks away.

You quickly threw on a pair of vans and a jacket, grabbed your keys and left your tiny apartment with frustration. The 10 minute walk to the Avengers Tower helped you calm down but still were super bummed that your favorite hoodie was now gone. At the Tower you had to go through security before getting on the elevator up to the lounge where your best friend Yelena was most likely chilling. Steve and Bucky were the only ones there though. 

"Hey guys!" You greeted them with a friendly smile. "Has any of you two seen Yelena?"

Bucky shook his head, which you expected since he and Yelena barely saw each other anyways. "I'm sorry, Yelena just had gone out with Kate and Peter I believe." Steve told you. You nodded sadly, thinking about if you should call her to meet up with them or not. "Natasha is in her room though." You blushed at the mention of the red head. Cap and Bucky were the only people who knew of your crush on Natasha. They constantly gave you the chance to be closer to her which was super sweet of them. You mumbled a small thanks before making your way towards her room which was a floor below. 

You were so busy with your thoughts that you forgot to knock, you busted right into her room where she was talking to someone or rather something. She talked to her phone, it looked like she was either filming herself or being in a video chat. "Ohh.." You felt the heat of guilt and embarrassment in your face. "I'm so sorry. I should have knocked first." 

She turned her head around when she heard your voice, also starting to smile at the sight of you being in her room. You returned a shy smile back to her, trying hard not to show any signs of the crush you have on her. Natasha waved you in before you could make up your mind to just leave her alone. You quickly closed the door behind you before you rushed to her side. Then you finally saw what she was doing, filming something on some app you don't recognize. "Is that TikTok?"

Natasha snorted, "It's actually Instagram."  The information of her using Instagram was new to you and also kind of surprising. "You should actually know that since you know... you have an account there." 

"Oh honey, just because I have an account doesn't mean I have the app on my phone and use it." The words just came out of you before you could even realize what you were about to say. Nat fully turned her body to you, your eyes immediately took her full form in and that's when you realized that she was wearing your clothes. She was wearing your favorite hoodie, the one you were looking for all this time. How it landed here with her was beyond you. "Like what you see?" She teased you as she caught you starring at her.

"T-that's my hoodie." She looked down her own body, then looking back up into your eyes with slight confusion. "You're wearing my favorite hoodie right now. I was looking for it all day Tasha!" 

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it was yours." She apologized. "I stole it from Yelena's room thinking it was her's or Kate's."

"Cука!" You muttered to yourself. It made perfect sense that Yelena stole it, she was the last one visiting you in your apartment a day or two days ago. 

Natasha grinned at you, she liked that you cursed her sister in their mother language. "Here let me give it back to you." She took off your hoodie in one swift motion and now stood in front of you in a bra. You were shocked that she was confident and comfortable enough to stand there so exposed. After the shock was over you tried your best not to look at her boobs, so your eyes wandered around her room. When you looked to her desk you saw her and yourself on the phone screen. That was when you realized that it was still recording, you shyly step in front of her phone to cover the camera with your back. "You're still recording." You told her with a hint of uneasiness in your voice. Her eyes suddenly became big. "Oh shit.. Y/N I'm not recording anything, I'm live on Instagram!" The panic was written all over her face. 

"Good thing you don't have many followers to tune in.. right?" You ask her cluelessly. She huffed, she would have loved your innocence about social media if it were for a different situation that didn't include exposing herself half naked to the world. 

"Detka, I'm an Avenger." She stated. You nodded, "Wow! Who would have thought!" The sarcasm and teasing was dripping from you. "So what?" Natasha sighed, she was getting tired of this situation. "Turn around and look at the upper right corner." You did as you were told to do, there in the corner was a tiny viewer count saying 50K and it kept growing by each second. Only then you realized why Natasha reacted the way she did. "How do you end this live thing??" 

Natasha noticed your now new panicked state and found it quite amusing. "You gotta.. uhm.. on the right.. wait let me just.." She stepped behind you and pressed her body into yours, hiding her half exposed body from the world. You felt her arms brushing against each side of your body, trying to navigate her way to end the livestream. With every movement she made you felt her boobs, that were pressed against your back, even more. Warmth spread through your whole body and you start to panic since you couldn't control yourself anymore. Don't say anything stupid. Don't say anything stupid. Don't say anything stupid. You constantly told yourself. 

Both of you sighed in relief when you saw that the livestream had ended. She leaned her forehead against your shoulder for a second before taking a step back and turning you around by your waist. "You could have returned my hoodie later." Natasha continued to stare at your face, only meeting your gaze from time to time. "How come you forgot that you were live?"

As soon as the words were out of your mouth, her gaze returned to yours, her green eyes looked into your y/e/c ones softly. "I got distracted." Nat admitted. You raised your left eyebrow, not getting what would distracted her that much. "By what?" "You." Your breath got caught in your throat. "M-me?"

She gave you a small shy smile and nodded. "Yes, you." Your heart beat so fast that you could heart it in your ears. It was also a reason why you could not stop stuttering. "W-w-why?" 

"Is that not obvious?" She teased you before her whole aura got serious. "You always looks so cute and you talking russian just made things worse." Holy motherfucker... NATASHA ROMANOFF FINDS ME CUTE. The two of you stood there with blushing cheeks looking all awkward and like two idiots who didn't know how to make a first step.

"I honestly don't know what to say." 

She took your hands into hers, holding them softly in between your bodies, squeezing them a bit because of her nervousness. "Would you go on a date with me?" You felt your voice slip away so you just nodded and smiled at her widely. 

[sleepanonymous]

Hi, I was wondering if you knew when Vessel started 'dancing' on stage? I'm pretty sure he started doing in in the late Sundowning-ish era/ TPWBYT era but I thought you'd probably be the best person to ask about finding videos from when he started dancing.

Oooh this is an interesting rabbit hole, thanks for asking Anon 🖤

So... I guess it depends on what you mean by dancing, because Vessel has always sort of moved on stage, you know? But what he did back then and what he's doing now is completely different. Like... maybe a better word for what he used to do is "writhing." The earliest video of a ritual I've seen of Sleep Token's was their third ritual in (what I'm assuming is) late 2017, and "writhing" is probably the best word for what Vessel was doing on stage (and I say that affectionately/respectfully).

TLDR; Conclusively I would say Vessel started dancing, as we see him dance on stage today, in the summer of 2022. He's always moved on stage, and even acted unhinged during Sleep Token's earlier rituals. Below the cut, I go through rituals on YouTube from 2018-2023 to try and pinpoint exactly when Vessel started dancing like we see currently in 2023. (I went through quite a few videos, most not even mentioned in this monster of a post, so I made a YouTube playlist here).

A great example of Vessel's early "writhing" dancing is this YouTube video of Nazareth from the 2018 Leeds Festival (he's also an absolute menace here!! He steps on III, he didn't paint his waist or his back, and he strangles and spits on the original OG IV. Like... the man had demons and I am here for them). The dancing that's most similar to current times starts around 2:37 and 3:40.

2019 is impossible to find good videos for lol, since they did most of their rituals for the Beautiful Oblivion tour as an opener and, apparently, nobody films openers. But there are some with decent audio quality from ArcTanGent (my favorite being The Offering). Interestingly, he's less animated, still writhing, but not a menace to the rest of the band while doing so. If anyone is even slightly photosensitive please don't watch these ArcTanGent videos, the lighting effects really didn't agree with the camera's shutter speed.

This is a video of Higher from December 2019. The sound is not as crisp, and the videographer is quite a bit further from the stage, but Vessel is still moving, especially towards the end. The breakdown starts around 2:15, and while III and OG IV are definitely more animated than Vessel, he's still dancing with them. He even jumps down to scream the end of the song at the barrier (and has a mini-wardrobe malfunction) at 2:39. That crowd was really feeling it and so was Vessel.

Because of the plague in 2020, all of Sleep Token's shows were in January. Vessel's behaviour was very similar to the video posted above (just with less crowd interaction). The first show they played in 2021 was the Download Pilot. This is the best audio quality of that show, and Vessel also moves/dances the most in this video, though it's toward the end around 2:31, where the videographer forgot they were filming and just started vibing, so it's really hard to see, lol. I don't blame them, but it's also shakycam to the max. (Also, a quick fun fact, this is the first show the band played with our current IV as far as I can tell.)

This is another video from 2021, but from Sleep Token's TPWBYT rituals tour. It's Hypnosis, and in the very beginning, we see some Floor Vessel, which is neat and reminiscent of the most recent NA rituals, before he does some of his usual writing, though quite a bit more animated. Around 4:06 you can see the writing again, but after 4:19 it morphs into what we've seen from more recent rituals. (Also, if anyone wants a full 70-minute video of this show, filmed from the center of the balcony looking down on the stage, you can watch it here. Some parts have major flashing, so just be careful).

Here's another video of Hypnosis, this time from September 2022. Here, finally, we see Vessel's current version of dancing, hops and arm flails included. It starts right when the song kicks in at 0:13, and he does it again at the end, around 4:29. Technically they did a UK tour with the Architects in May (see this video of The Offering at 3:50) and an Australian tour in June 2022 with Northlane (again, see this video of The Offering at 0:20, 1:37), with similar behaviour from Vessel, but that BRRF Hypnosis video is the first video I ever watched of Sleep Token live so it's very dear to me and it's also better sound quality than anything I could find from earlier in the year.

I went way overboard with answering this question, Anon, but it was super fun, so thank you again for asking 🖤🙏 Again, I made a playlist of all the videos + several others. If anyone has any recommendations for me to add to the playlist, send the links my way (especially if they aren't The Offering or Hypnosis lol) and I'll add them in chronological order.

[hanakoofthejungle]

HuskerDust Sinatra playlist (to be updated)

Given Husk and Angel's time when they were alive, Sinatra's songs would no doubt fall into their mutual category of favorites. I believe Angel would very much like Sinatra's crooning considering Sinatra's melancholy voice, him being also Italian and having alleged connection to the Italian mob. Husk spent so much time in casinos so surely he knew all of these songs like the back of his hand.

Below are the songs that I find would fit well into their inner thoughts and stages of their relationship. When Sinatra sang, he didn't just sing a song, he was telling us something from his heart which I imagine is what Husk wanted to say to Angel and vice versa (and there are duets :))). You will see that Husk was allocated more songs than Angel. This is because I firmly believe Husk is the more sappy and sentimental one in the relationship.

Who knows :)) these songs might inspire some fanfictions. Whatever you imagine, Sinatra can provide :)))

One song might have different version sung by Sinatra. The ones listed here are the most fitting in my opinion. These are all youtube links because some came from nice musical films/music shows and some aren't available on spotify.

The pining stage (sprinkled with some self-loathing/insecurity in case they didn't think their feelings were mutual)

Husk

These Foolish Things (Remind Me of You)

These foolish things remind me of you You came you saw you conquer'd me When you did that to me I knew somehow this had to be

It could Happen to You

All I did was wonder How your arms would be And it happened to me

Half As Lovely (Twice As True) (or Husk's insecurity about himself being just a washed-up drunk while Angel could have anyone he wants, also mention of Angel's facade. This is the perfect song :))))

I'm only one of those who thinks of you and sighs, Just another who knows your laughter and lies. I wish that you were someone who was half as lovely, twice as true. I love you, I love you, too much it seems, for any fool can see, With your heart so crowded with other dreams, how can you dream of me?

Bewitched

I'm wild again, beguiled again A simpering, whimpering child again Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I Couldn't sleep, wouldn't sleep Then love came and told me I shouldn't sleep Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I Lost my heart, but what of it?

Angel

I Don't Know Why (I Just Do)

You never seem to want my romancing The only time you hold me Is when we're dancing I don't know why I love you like I do I don't know why, but I do

I fall in love too easily (This fits Angel so well)

I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast I fall in love too terribly hard, for love to ever last My heart should be well schooled, 'cause I've been fooled in the past And still I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast

Glad to be unhappy

Unrequited love's a bore And I've got it pretty bad But for someone you adore It's a pleasure to be sad

Prisoner of Love

Alone from night to night You'll find me too weak to break the chains that bind me. I need no shackles to remind me, I'm just a prisoner of love.

The confessing stage

Husk

Zing! Went The Strings Of My Heart

Dear when you smiled at me I heard a melody It haunted me from the start Something inside of me, started a symphony Zing! Went the strings of my heart

Then Suddenly Love (I can imagine Angel kick the door open :)))

I never heard bluebirds, the songs that they sing, I never get crazy, not even in spring, Then suddenly love struck me like lightning, Love it blew up a storm, Love suddenly grabbed me, and ooh, was it cozy and warm 'Cause I found you, now I no longer just exist, Ooh, what a change, it started from the time we kissed

Angel

I Get a Kick out of You

Some they may go for a cocaine I'm sure that if I took even one sniff It would bore me terrifically too Yet I get a kick out of you

I've Never been in Love before

I'm full of foolish songs And out my song must pour So please forgive this helpless haze I'm in I've really never been in love before

Husk and Angel

You're Awful (A silly duet confession of love :)))

Husk: Those words that everyone knows But my thoughts gets mangled, And all the words get tangled, But since you asked me, here goes: You're awful, awful good to look at, Awful nice to be with, awful sweet to have and hold. You're nothing, nothing if not lovely, Nothing if not dazzling, nothing but pure gold, You're frightening, frightening me when you say That you might go away, You're boring, boring into my heart to stay. You're cheap, dear, cheap at any price, dear, Cheap for such a diamond, Cheap for such a pearl, What I said before, I'll say again, You're awful, awful nice to be my girl. Angel: You're old, dear, old with worldly wisdom, Old like Gorgonzola, old like finest French champagne, You're so-so, so-so, so-so kinda charming, So-so kind of witty, so I can't explain, Husk: Can't stand you, I can't stand you giving some fellow the eye, Can't stand you in the arms of another guy, Who needs you? Need you to distraction, Need you too this crazy, need you rain or shine, Both: I'm the one who needs you, And I think you're awful, awful nice to say you're mine.

The dating/domestic bliss stage (sprinkled with some angst/couple fights)

Husk

[How Little It Matters] How Little We Know

Who cares to define what chemistry this is? Who cares, with your lips on mine, how ignorant bliss is? So long as you kiss me, and the world around us shatters, How little it matters, how little we know.

I Could Write A Book

If they ask me, I could write a book About the way you walk and whisper and look I could write a preface on how we met So the world would never forget And the simple secret of the plot Is just to tell them that I love you a lot Then the world discovers as my book ends How to make two lovers of friends

That Old Black Magic

Those icy fingers up and down my spine The same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine The same old tingle that I feel inside And then that elevator starts its ride And down and down, I go 'Round and 'round, I go Like a leaf that's caught in the tide

Too Marvelous for Words

You're much, too much, and just too very very To ever be in Webster's dictionary And so I'm borrowing a love song from the birds To tell you that you're marvelous Too marvelous for words

Polka Dots And Moonbeams

In my frightened arms, polka dots and moonbeams Sparkled on a pug-nosed dream There were questions in the eyes of other dancers As we floated over the floor There were questions but my heart knew all the answers And perhaps a few things more Now in a cottage built of lilacs and laughter I know the meaning of the words? Ever after? And I'll always see polka dots and moonbeams When I kiss the pug-nosed dream

Witchcraft

'Cause it's witchcraft, wicked witchcraft And although, I know, it's strictly taboo When you arouse the need in my My heart says yes indeed in me Proceed with what your leading me to It's such an ancient pitch But one I wouldn't switch 'Cause there's no nicer witch than you

Dear Heart (Husk waited for Angel to come home from work)

Dear heart, wish you were here to warm this night My dear heart, it seems like a year since you've been out of my sight A single room, a table for one It's a lonesome town all right But soon I'll kiss you hello at our front door And dear heart, I want you to know I'll leave your arms never more

Husk and Angel

We Just Couldn't Say Goodbye

We thought that love was over, that we were really through, I said I didn't love her, that we'd begin anew, And you can all believe me, we sure intended to, But we just couldn't say goodbye. The chair and then the sofa, they broke right down and cried, The curtain started waving for me to come inside. I tell you confident'a'lly the tears were hard to hide, And we just couldn't say goodbye. The clock was striking twelve o'clock, it smiled on us below, With folded hands, it seemed to say, we'll miss you if you go. So I went back and kissed her and when I looked around, The room was singing love songs and dancing up and down. Now we're both so happy because at last we've found That we just couldn't say goodbye.

Kisses and Tears

Kisses and tears, it's up to you If we laugh or we cry through the years Unless you trust me, whenever a doubt appears Your future with me will continue to be kisses and tears You're crying again, you're sighing again Can't we patch it up this time? I guess it's alright, we've finished our fight It's just about kiss-time

Nothing in Common

Our two goals are apart as the poles are As lovers our roles are completely miscast Let's make a clean break And not take any chances 'Cause outside of thinking you're something divine And outside of wanting your lips close to mine We've got nothin' in common We've got nothin' in common at all

How Are Ya Fixed for Love

How are ya fixed for someone to watch the rain with? To stroll down the line with? For someone to just go a little insane with? How are you fixed for memories? Memories that shine so bright? If we let fancy take us We could make us a few tonight How are ya' fixed for someone who'll fit your arms like a glove? Hey, tell me baby, how are ya' fixed for love?

Bonus: Sinatra's Loser, baby a.k.a Here's To The Losers

Here's the last toast of the evening, here's to those who still believe All the losers will be winners, all the givers shall receive Here's to trouble-free tomorrows, may your sorrows all be small Here's to the losers, here's to the losers, here's to the losers Bless them all!

[youthinluv]

our beloved summer

Cause we lost the summer Whеn we lost each other

sypnosis ; videos of zhanghao being part of a documentary during his teens resurfaced and went viral after 5 long years. while many people found him adorable, most people are also curious about his co-star, who he seems to have good chemistry with. what happens when people start to demand their reunion and an interview?

pairing ; zhanghao x gn! reader

wc ; 6175

genre ; inspired by the kdrama of the same name, angst, some fluff

tags ; non idol!reader, academic rivals to friends to lovers, pretty dialogue heavy, kuanjui as their highschool friend bc why not !! zb1 permanent group (real) since i'll have this set in 2015-2021 and 2026 as present day 😜

playlist ; we lost the summer - txt, why didn't you stop me? - mitski

author's note ; mandatory english isn't my first language message here !!!! the backstory (?) for this is actually more lighthearted compared to what u see in the actual kdrama 😭 not rlly happy w how this turned out tbh but i still wanted to push this out. i had to cut a lot down and speed everything to filter out the filler, so it may seem a little rushed/all over the place. the formatting and povs are also kind of a mess so pls bear w me 💔

———

'ZEROBASEONE's Center Zhanghao Goes Viral After Fans Find Him in An Old Documentary From High School'

Sometimes, we can't help but wonder how our favorite idols were back in highschool, or pre-debut, since we know little to nothing about them back then.

But that doesn't seem to be the case for ZEROBASEONE's center Zhanghao, who recently went viral after an old highschool documentary resurfaced, where he starred the films that walked us through his everyday life as a highschool student.

What's even more interesting is that he also had a co-star alongside him, going by the name Y/N L/N. 

While many people found Zhanghao adorable, most seem to be more interested in this mystery person, speculating that they were even dating due to their good chemistry as seen in the documentary.

Fans are now asking for their reunion to see how they're doing and if they are still connected.

———

"Hyung? Who's Y/N L/N?"

Ricky asked, reading through the Koreaboo article that caught his attention after seeing the headline.

Zhanghao, who was on his phone, snapped his head up at the mention of the name.

It was a busy day, they were preparing for one of the many promotional stages they were doing for their debut.

"Huh?" was all he could respond with. He wasn't expecting your name to be mentioned again after so long, especially from one of his own members.

"Oh you didn't see it yet? You're going viral because apparently, people found your old documentary from highschool and someone named Y/N L/N co-starred with you?"

Matthew spoke, he leaned on Ricky's shoulder as he read the article again on the younger man's phone.

Hm. Zhanghao wasn't exactly sure how to answer. In all honesty, he completely forgot about the documentary until now.

Eventually, he settled on a vague answer. 

"Oh, yeah. They were a friend back from highschool."

"Oooh! Do you still keep in touch with them? I'm surprised you never told me about them.”

Matthew leaned forward, now interested.

"Yah! You were friends with Kuanjui back in highschool?"

Ricky suddenly exclaims. The older men both look over and see him watching the documentary in question. Kuanjui, Zhanghao and who they presume to be Y/N were all in one frame together.

"Wow, is this Y/N? They're super pretty."

Zhanghao snatches the phone from the youngest, earning him a whine of protest.

"Do you mind? We're almost up next so you can't be slacking off right now.

Ricky pouts while Matthew laughs at their antics. As if on cue, their manager came in and told everyone else that they had to go soon. Zhanghao returns the phone to Ricky with a warning, and they all make their way to the side stage.

As they do so, Zhanghao's phone gets left behind. The phone lit up and a light 'ding!' signified that a text message got sent to him.

———

Soft music played throughout the room, it was calm and quiet.

Y/N sat near the window, the bright sunlight shining through as they hummed along to the song in the background while she painted calculated strokes on the large canvas.

Just then, Y/N's friend barges in, seemingly frantic.                                 "Hey, Y/N! Have you seen this? Why didn't you tell me you knew??"

Eve stops in her tracks, after seeing the confused expression on their face.

"What?"

"You're telling me you know THE Zhanghao?! And why are people saying you probably even dated him? And you were friends with Kuanjui too?? I'm a fan of theirs, why didn't you tell me?!"

She continued to spit question after question to you, who looked at her with confusion and disbelief.

"Wait, hold on... where did you even get any of this?" Y/N interrupts, causing Eve to trail off from her rambling.

"Oh, so you really haven't seen yet? Apparently you were part of a documentary along with Zhanghao, and it showed you being friends with Kuanjui back in highschool. You're on Koreaboo and Soompi! Why didn't I hear any of this?!"

The mention of a documentary hit them with the realization. Of why Eve was freaking out about this, and everything she said suddenly made sense.

"Wait, what? Documentary? And I'm on Koreaboo and Soompi because of it? Is that why my phone's been blowing up?" they sulk in their seat little.

"I completely forgot I even did that..." they mumbled to themself.

Y/N runs their fingers through their hair. "Okay, fine, yeah it was me. The documentary was all Kuanjui's idea too, since he wanted to pursue being a film director back then before he decided on wanting to be an idol. It's a long story."

"Really? I mean... I have all day." Eve grins, while Y/N shoots back an incredulous look.

"Well good for you then, but I unfortunately don't. I still have to finish this project. It's very important."

"Man! You're such a killjoy!"

Y/N's phone lit up, but this time, with a different tone, which was a relief after the plethora of the notifications they got from random people finding and following their personal social media accounts. 

Looking at the notification, it was a text message from Kuanjui with a simple "hey".

———

"...I'm sorry?" 

Y/N stared at Kuanjui across as if he just told them he lost their most prized possession.

"Look! It won't even be that bad, it's just an interview and you can be done and over with everything by then." he tried to reason.

"Okay, but... why?"

"Why not? The people are curious to see how you're doing, amongst other things."

"Other things like...?" Y/N raises an eyebrow.

"Like how you two are doing as a pair! And I can't blame them, you two really did have good chemistry, everyone can see it, even me! If I didn't know you two personally, I'd also wanna know how the both of you are doing."

Kuanjui leans closer across the table closer to them, a sly grin on his face. "Besides, you'll get paid for it." 

Y/N didn't really have any other counter for that, aside simply not wanting to. And besides, they were at least getting something out of it. After briefly pondering, they let out a sigh.

"...Fine. I'll do it."

Kuanjui almost jumped out of his seat. "Really?! Oh my god!"

"Actually, have you even asked Zhanghao himself yet? Do you think his agency will allow this?"

"Don't worry, I'll get him on board with this. Just trust me."

———

Zhanghao almost choked on his food. Kuanjui had to help him and made him drink water.

After calming down, he tries to distract himself by grilling the meat they had in front of them.

"Are you joking?"

"Nope. And before you ask, both Dispatch and I already talked to your agency about it, they think it'll be great publicity." replied Kuanjui.

Zhanghao sighs. "And here I thought you just wanted to be nice and treat me to dinner. If only I knew you're doing this to try and convince me to this... crazy idea of yours." he pauses. "Why though? You know we're both doing fine even if we don't do this."

"Why not? There's no reason for you to not do it, right? I thought you two ended on okay terms? If there's no bad blood and if you really moved on, then you should have no problem with this." Kuanjui counters, folding his arms and staring at Zhanghao.

The older man looks like he wants to say something back, but no words come out of his mouth.

Zhanghao knows he's right. There really isn't any good reason for him to decline. In reality, he was just avoiding Y/N and wanted to keep that up, even if he didn't know the reason why he was doing that in the first place.

"Please! You'll get paid if you do this, I promise I'll make it worth your time." Kuanjui pleads.

"Of course I did! They said yes too. Unlike you, it didn't take me this much convincing for them to be on board."

Silence followed. Zhanghao clearly seemed to be thinking and considering it, clear enough for Kuanjui to get the hint and attempt to reassure him.

"Look, you don't have to give me an answer right now, so don't worry. But, please please please just think about it and consider doing it."

At this, Zhanghao reluctantly nodded, mentally going through his possible options and ways to approach this situation.

———

"Jiwoong hyung? Can I ask you for some advice?"

Zhanghao asked the man who was making the two of them a cup of coffee. Zhanghao had gotten home quite late and Jiwoong stayed up to wait for him.

"Sure. What's up? Is this about the documentary?"

He replied, placing the mugs on the table.

"Huh? How'd you know?"

Jiwoong chuckled. "Ah, well, I actually overheard Kuanjui talking to some higher ups at the company earlier. Something about you doing an interview with the other person in the documentary?"

"Well... you know how Kuanjui and I had dinner earlier? He actually asked me to do an interview with the other person in the documentary."

"Okay, and you're asking me for advice because...?"

Zhanghao hesitates, before realizing if he doesn't answer honestly, he'll never get the advice he actually needs.

"The thing is, that 'other person' is actually now my ex, and I haven't seen nor heard from them ever since we broke up, so..." he trails off, unsure of what else to say.

As if he read his mind, Jiwoong cuts in "You're avoiding them and now don't know how to handle seeing them again?"

The younger nods, slightly surprised that he managed to almost exactly pin down the situation.

"Well, did you two end and last saw each other on bad terms? Because if that's the case, then I'd probably turn down the offer if that's the case."

"Ah, no..." Zhanghao replies "I actually don't know why I'm avoiding them, especially since it was basically a mutual agreement."

Jiwoong cocks an eyebrow at this. "So you're asking me if you should take the opportunity? Is that it?"

The former nods again, starting to become a little flustered.

"I mean, if you guys didn't have an unhealthy relationship or a messy break up, I don't see why you shouldn't. You said it yourself, it was a mutual breakup. Maybe you two will find some closure too."

Zhanghao lets his head fall to the table, mumbling. "Kuanjui said something along the lines of that too..."

"If two third parties said the same thing, then it's probably best to follow along with it. Trust me, maybe you'll get something good out of it."

———

"I'll do it."

A thud could be heard from the other side of the phone, followed by the sounds of fabric being frantically ruffled. "Seriously?!"

"Yeah. I thought about it and talked to some people, and I've decided that I'll do it."

"Oh my god, thank you so much, Zhanghao! I promise, I'll make it worth your time."

Beep—

And with that, the call between Kuanjui and Zhanghao dropped as the former immediately went to make another call.

"Hello?—"

"Y/N! Zhanghao just called me. He said he'll do it."

"...He did? That's surprising, but good to know."

"Yeah! I still have to make some calls, so I'll talk to you later, but I'll let you know if they'll release more info."

———

"Oh, so you agreed to the interview with Y/N?"

Matthew looks at Zhanghao, recalling the exchange they had a few days before.

"Really?! Oh, I'm definitely seated for that. I binged the episodes they put out and you guys had really good chemistry." Ricky peers up from his phone. 

"Good to know you followed my advice." Jiwoong interjects, stopping himself mid bite, before asking Ricky what he even meant by 'being seated for that'.

"Hm? You asked Jiwoong hyung for advice? Why though?" Matthew asks once again, tilting his head.

"Ah, that's because..."

Zhanghao trails off, stopping himself for a moment.

"Y/N is actually ex. My only one, by the way. I told both the company and Dispatch that so, they might use it as part of the interview. The company didn't seem to mind that though."

The room suddenly went silent, the rest of the members looking at their center, causing him to become flustered.

"Yah! Why'd you guys go all quiet all of a sudden?! You're not supposed to be eavesdropping!"

Then, the room erupted. Now Zhanghao had to endure his members' endless teasing.

Later that night, he sat in his room. After a lot of consideration and debating with himself, he decided to watch the documentary where it all started.

Staring at the screen, he hesitated to press play.

On the other hand, Y/N was also in the same situation. Little did they know that they were both facing the same dilemma.

They both sat in front of their laptops and stared at the screens. In front of them were videos that contained their highschool moments and memories.

After heavy debating, they finally pressed play, all the memories flooding back to them.

—2015—

"Okay, class. I'll be giving back your test papers, so please take note of your scores."

The teacher handed the graded papers back, giving time for everyone to recieve their own.

Y/N recieved their paper. Looking at it, they saw that they got full marks. 

'Yes!'

They cheered to themself, peering across the room to look at Zhanghao to try and see his reaction. 

"Also, congratulations to both Y/N and Zhanghao for getting full marks! Please keep it up."

At that, Y/N had to resist the urge of banging their head against the table.

'Nevermind. Forget it.'

Y/N always saw Zhanghao as an academic rival, but he doesn't know that. He always kept to himself and carried on.

And that's how it always was for them, back and forth. Zhanghao doing his usual, while Y/N did everything to stay on top.

Sometimes it'd work, sometimes it wouldn't. No matter though, Zhanghao never failed to greet them, which in turn made them more irritated about it.

———

"Seriously? I forgot my umbrella..."

Y/N rummaged through her bag for the nth time again, as if by some miracle, the umbrella will show up.

They sighed, looking up and watching the pouring heavy rain.

"You forgot your umbrella?"

Zhanghao came from behind and stood next to them

"Yeah. What, gonna rub it in my face?"

He looked at them incredulously, almost looking offended.

"Um, no? I was gonna offer to walk with you to wherever you were going. I don't think you have an option anyways, since everyone's already pretty much left."

He's right. It was almost 5pm and the school was almost emptied out. If they remained stubborn and turned down his offer, they’d probably have to wait until the rain stopped, which clearly looked like it wasn’t happening anytime soon.

“Ah… I was planning to drop by this cafe nearby before heading home. I’m not sure if you have the time for that, though, so it’s all good if you just go ahead without me.”

“What are you talking about? I’m not leaving you here like this. Besides, I actually have a lot of free time but nothing to do, so I’ll come with you, don’t worry about it.”

Y/N stared at him, unsure of what to feel. Zhanghao then motioned them to go ahead, which they did.

The cafe visit and walk there was silent. Zhanghao didn’t seem to mind but Y/N on the other hand had a lot of thoughts running through their mind. The pair lightly bickered in line, with Zhanghao offering to pay for both their food and drinks while Y/N insisted on covering the expenses instead.

“Please, let me. Just think of it as thanks for helping out tonight.”

Zhanghao then let out a huff in defeat, stating that he’ll pay next time instead and that he’ll walk them home instead. His resolve was made clear and it was obvious he wouldn’t take no for an answer, so they reluctantly accepted.

More silence ensued for the walk until Y/N spoke for the first time since leaving the cafe.

“I’ve been meaning to ask… why are you doing this in the first place?”

“Hm? Why, does it bother you?”

Y/N sighed. “I should be asking you that. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t really like you.” Zhanghao couldn’t help but laugh lightly at that. “Ouch. Is it because you consider me as an academic rival? ‘Cause I feel like the energy you’ve been trying to give me, aside from Kuanjui kind of implying it too…”

“Huh, you knew?” Y/N looked at him shocked, while he returned an amused expression. “You always gave me dirty looks when I’d score higher than you, and you’d always look my way with this smug look when you’re the one who’d score higher than me. It can be pretty obvious you’re rubbing things in sometimes, you know.”

They looked away, embarrassed. Y/N seriously didn’t think they were being that obvious to him about it, but looks like they thought wrong.

The man before them put a reassuring hand on their shoulder as they chewed on their lip trying to come up with an excuse. 

“It’s alright, if it’s that serious for you I can hold back and let you rank 1st every time.”

Y/N’s heart fluttered just a little at the idea of him being willing to do that before they quickly snapped back to reality.

“W–Wait, no! I don’t want you to give all that up just for me, I promise. Besides, if I knew you were doing that, it’ll take away the feeling because it's… inorganic? So please, I’d feel even worse if you did that.”

“...Are you sure?” “Yeah. I’ll just work even harder to keep beating you next time! So you better watch out.”

Y/N nodded, hitting Zhanghao’s shoulder which caused him to burst out laughing.

By the time they both got home, they already considered each other friends and were on much better terms. 

Soon enough, they warmed up to each other and hung out with Kuanjui together. They became an inseparable trio and always were seen together.

“Ohohoh! What’s this, Zhanghao and Y/N talking? That’s a first!”

Kuanjui approaches the pair and they noticed he held a camera in his hand, talking to it.

“Yah, shut up! What are you even doing with that?” Y/N lightly hits his shoulder as Zhanghao bites back a laugh.

“Ow! I’m trying to record as much of our highschool days as I can, like a documentary! What’s it to you anyways?”

He replies, rubbing his arm.

Y/N doesn’t say anything back glaring at him as he turns away and starts rambling to the camera.

Time passed and little by little, Y/N and Zhanghao slowly developed feelings for each other. They grew closer and more comfortable with each other. Glances from across their classroom turned into small, unsure touches, and little gifts with a “it reminded me of you, I thought you’d like it.” [ITALICS]

—2016—

Summer has come. The sun shone brightly and the pair stood at a spot they always came back to. It overlooked the city and they could see the lotus flowers in bloom in the nearby garden.

While Y/N admired the view, Zhanghao admired the person next to him. Silent and looking softly at their smiling face. Y/N felt his gaze and turned their head, slightly flustered once they realized that he’s been staring the entire time.

“You’re staring” “I know.”

“...Are you okay?” At this, Zhanghao gulped, unsure if he should say it. ‘It’s now or never. If you don’t tell them now, when will you?’ he thought to himself. Mustering all his courage, he takes a deep breath and faces Y/N again.

“Can I tell you something? Please promise me this won’t ruin our friendship.”

Y/N looks back at him with a confused expression, unsure of how to respond.

“Um, okay. Is everything alright though? You’re kind of scaring me…”

“I like you, Y/N.”

Just then, it was almost like time stopped between them. Y/N stood in shocked silence for a while before Zhanghao started mumbling.

“Itsokayifyoudon’tlikemebackIjusthopethisdoesn’truinourfriendshipan—”

“Hey, hey! It’s okay!” Y/N took his head between their hands, forcing him to look at them. After noticing he calms down, they continue.

“I, um. Actually like you too, so…” they continue, sheepishly rubbing their arm and looking away, flustered. 

It was Zhanghao’s turn to be shocked and silent. He was visibly processing the information before he looked back at Y/N. “Seriously?”

He gets a nod in response. After realizing that Y/N really was being serious, he couldn’t help but break out into a smile and pull them in a tight hug.

They both laugh and start to excitedly talk about where their relationship goes from here, all while they looked back at the colorful lotus flowers in front of them.

———

“Hey, are you serious about taking the Gaokao so soon?”

Y/N asked Zhanghao, who sat across from them and next to Kuanjui.

“Hmm, well, yeah. I actually meet the criteria and have the qualifications for it. You should go for it, too! You’re just as qualified for that as I am.”

“And leave me here?” Kuanjui cuts in, whining.

“Urgh. I dunno, as much as I wanna do that, I also wanna take it slow and enjoy highschool, y’know? Besides, aren’t you taking up Geoscience? I think I’ll be fine if I don’t rush things since I’m taking Fine Arts.” 

Y/N sighs.

Zhanghao hums. “That’s true, but I’m actually not that sure anymore. I might take music if Geoscience doesn’t work out.”

Kuanjui looks up from his food, speaking with a stuffed face. The table shook at the sudden movement, causing the camera to almost lose its balance.

“What are you even still doing with that camera? You’re still doing that documentary?”

Y/N asks and they only earn a ‘shut up’ from him. He then turns to Zhanghao to ask.

“Seriously? So suddenly?”

“Like I said, only if it doesn’t work out. Who knows?”

“You seem so relaxed about a pretty big decision, Hao. You should take this seriously!”

Y/N lightly scolds and hits him. The trio all burst into laughter as the topic starts to divert to their school and classes.

—2018—

“Wah! I’m so glad we both got into the same uni!” Y/N exclaims as they pull Zhanghao into a hug upon meeting each other. “Still, you’re a year level above me which kinda pisses me off. I should’ve taken the Gaokao when you did, too.” they sigh as the pair pulls away from each other.

Zhanghao laughs at this. “Yeah, yeah. It’s a shame Kuanjui had to go back to Taiwan though, we could’ve had a complete reunion!”

“Well, it’s not like there’s much we can do about it anyways. If anything, I can’t believe you dropped Geosci for music! You play the violin now, right? How’s that going for you?

”It was a pretty big decision, I admit, but I found that I really have a passion for music compared to Geosci.” Zhanghao replies, before briefly changing the topic.

“Hey, why don’t we talk about this over lunch instead? My treat, to celebrate your very first day here!”

“Really? Who am I to turn down free lunch?”

The couple breaks out in a fit of giggles as they walk off, discussing a multitude of different topics.

—2021—

“Baobei.”

Zhanghao quietly calls out. Y/N hums, turning to look at him as they both stood at the same spot where they both got together.

The man before them pulls out a small box, softly smiling as he hands it to Y/N.

“Happy 5th anniversary to us.”

Y/N looks at him in shock, before opening the box and finding a Chai hairpin that were decorated with lotus flowers at the ends.

“I know you don’t normally wear hairpins but I saw it and it reminded me of you. It reminded me of us and how we got together when the lotus were in full bloom back in summer. Well, aside from the meaning of the flower itself.”

Zhanghao explains, lightly chuckling at the end.

“Are you kidding? It's so pretty. I love it. I love you.”

They both lean into each other, and as they gazed at the view overlooking the night city, Y/N whispers.

“Happy 5th to us, love.”

———

“I’m leaving the country soon.”

Zhanghao breaks the silence. They stood at their favorite spot once again, where they’d shared a lot of significant memories together.

“Huh?”

“You know Yuehua, right? I told you about it. The agency’s been following me around for over the past 3 years now. I’ve decided to sign with them now that I got my degree. I want to become an idol.”

Y/N stared at him, wanting to say a million things but in the end, couldn’t bring themselves to say it all. “...I see.”

With a deep breath, they fully turn to him with a sad look.

“Let's break up then.”

“...What?” Zhanghao’s brows furrowed.

“Let’s break up, Hao. We can’t be together like this. If you want to become an idol and leave the country for it, then I’ll let you. You can’t be in a relationship as a trainee and I don’t wanna hold you back from your dreams.” “Wait, can’t we talk about this first?” he slowly becomes more panicked at the situation.

“Baobei. Please understand.” Y/N pleads.

 “I don’t want to hold you back and maintain a long distance relationship. I don’t want to distract you. Believe me, I don’t want this either, but it’s better for both of us.”

The couple stares at each other, either one unable to say anything further as their tears start to fall. Zhanghao swallows.

“I’m sorry.” he says, voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.��

Y/N hesitates, but starts rummaging through their bag. They pulled out a small box that looked all too familiar to the pair. They take the hairpin out of it, snapping one of the pins off and placing it on Zhanghao’s palm with a small ‘here’.[ITALICS]

“We might not be together anymore from this point on, but promise me you’ll keep this, take good care of it, and carry it around with you when you can, so when we meet again, we can piece them together. Doesn’t matter if either one of us has someone else by then. It’ll serve as a reminder of the times we had and things we shared. I love you.”[ITALICS]

They both burst into tears, hugging each other as if their life depended on it, before deciding to (hesitantly) part ways for good.

That was the last time they saw each other since then.

—PRESENT DAY—

“Kuanjui, was this really a good idea?”

Y/N sighs, as they look in the mirror and restlessly adjust their clothes. They seem to be making sure that something stays in their pockets.

“Don’t get cold feet now, Y/N! It’ll be fine, I promise.”

“When is he coming? I haven’t seen him in ages so I don’t know how to–”

Y/N’s sentence gets interrupted as the studio’s doors open, revealing Zhanghao as he stepped in. He looks around before noticing Kuanjui and Y/N standing and staring at him. Upon seeing them, he gives a polite smile and a small bow.

“Um. I’ll go grab a drink. Stay here.” Kuanjui tells Y/N and before they could even do anything, he was already out of the room.

Traitor!

Sighing, they turn back to Zhanghao and observe him. He approaches them and they hold their breath.

“Hi.” Zhanghao greets.

“Hey.”

“Long time no see, huh?”

Silence settles between them and neither one is sure of what else to say.

“...You’ve changed, Hao.” Y/N musters up a smile, but it’s clear to both of them that it’s a sad one. 

“Yeah. So did you.” 

“So you’re an idol now? Congrats. I’m so happy for you.”

Something inside Zhanghao visibly shifts but Y/N can’t tell what exactly. 

As he opens his mouth to try and give back a reply, a staff member comes in, cutting them both off. They decide to get a chance to properly talk again later as they were both led into the interview room, where the staff member explains the the basics

“You guys will be sitting there and we’ll simply show you questions on a card.You can answer as honestly and freely as possible. Because of that, you only have the flow of the interview.”

They both nod and the cameras start rolling. They do the introductions and read the first question.

‘How did you two meet?’

“This was already pretty obvious but we went to the same school and were classmates.”

Zhanghao starts.

‘What were your first impressions of each other?’

Y/N lightly giggles at this question.

“I considered Zhanghao to be my academic rival but I eventually found out that he didn’t see me that way and only thought of me as a mutual friend thanks to Kuanjui. After he helped me out, we became friends.”

Zhanghao chuckles at this before answering.

“Well, yeah. Like they said, I only knew them because they were friends with Kuanjui. I did think they were pretty nice at first, then I thought they were cold after a while because I thought they hated me .”

At that, the studio’s atmosphere instantly lightened and they were less tense with each other now.

‘We heard that you two used to date. What was the relationship like?’

“Ah, well… we were pretty much inseparable once we became friends, so not much changed and we spent a lot of time together. I guess we were more comfortable and open with each other?”

Y/N answers, careful not to say anything that may cause a scandal. Zhanghao simply nods in agreement.

‘Why did you two break up?’

The room goes silent for a while as the pair looked at each other, gulping. As Zhanghao hesitates to answer,  Y/N cuts in.

“Just differences. He wanted to be an idol and had to move to Korea for that. I wasn’t sure on what to do yet but I stayed behind. I didn’t want to hold him back by keeping a long distance relationship and distract him from his dreams.”

“It was a mutual agreement, so it wasn’t a messy breakup or anything. We were together for over 5 years.”

Zhanghao adds as he nods.

Using past tense to discuss their relationship stung them more than both had expected. You’d think they should be used to it by now.

‘Did you two keep in contact afterwards?’

“Honestly? No. As far as I know, this is the first time we’ve seen each other since we broke up.”

“Yeah. Even though we lived in the same city and ended up moving to the same one as well, this is the first time we've seen each other in person after all that.”

‘Did your lives turn out the way you expected them to 10 years back?’

“No, actually. I wasn’t expecting to end up being on good terms with Zhanghao back then, moreso dating him. I also wasn’t expecting to move out to the country either, so I wouldn’t exactly say that.

“Absolutely not. I wanted to pursue Geoscience at first, but I eventually decided that it wasn’t for me and that I wanted to pursue music instead. So I switched schools and picked up the violin. If you told my 16 year old self that I’d be a K-pop idol 10 years from now, I’d probably think you were crazy.”

The pair laughs at this, knowing that it was true for the both of them.

‘For this segment, we’ll be leaving you alone in the room for 10 minutes. Is there anything you want to say to each other before we wrap up?’

The room went silent and their faces slowly dropped. It stayed like that for almost a minute as the staff all walked out.

“Um…” Y/N starts, turning to Zhanghao, unsure if they should even say this. ‘It’s now or never, Y/N’

Taking a deep breath, they continue. “When I was breaking up with you, I was kind of hoping you’d fight for us a little more. I know that I ended it, but why didn’t you chase after me? Sure, I was trying my best to convince you, but why didn’t you stop me?”

Zhanghao’s eyes turned glassy as he stared at them, watching while they continued.

Y/N takes a deep breath. “I was constantly lying to myself that I was over you, even though I moved to Seoul after you did, and throughout these years I would silently wish that I’d run into you and meet you again.” their voice cracks slightly as tears prick their eyes.

Zhanghao smiles sadly. “I don’t know if you knew this, but ever since we broke up, I’d constantly ask one of your close friends for updates. Everyday, I’d ask them. When they told me you were moving to Korea, I was a little devastated because I knew I couldn't ask them anymore, and finding you would be much harder now.”

“You would constantly look for me?”

“Yeah. When I debuted, I thought about you and how I’ve finally achieved my dreams, but you weren’t there for me anymore. You weren’t with me. And I didn't know how to feel about that.”

“Oh.” 

…

“I watched you though. I watched you on the show, your debut show, all of it. I watched your life through pictures and the videos your staff would upload.” Y/N fidgets with their hands.

“...Do you remember that promise from before? When we broke up? Here.” Zhanghao asks out of nowhere, pulling out the same Chai hairpin from 5 years before and handing his piece.

Y/N looks back and forth between the pin in their hand and the man before them, tears threatening to spill. “You… really kept it?”

“Of course. I’m not one to go back on my promises, you know?”

At this, Y/N pulls out their half, the one they were fiddling with in their pocket earlier.

“I just… didn’t think you would. I was planning to give you my [ITALICS] half instead.”

“Do you still wanna piece them together?” Zhanghao asks, and Y/N contemplates on it. Complete silence once again.

“No.”

“...No?”

“Yeah, no. Here, keep your piece. The fact that you still remembered and even brought your half of the pin already means a lot to me. You can think of it as me giving back to you. This pin already means a lot to me, so I want you to keep it for good now.” Y/N hands back the pin.

“Okay. If that’s what you want.”

At this, the staff quietly open the door and pour back in, indicating the end of the 10 minutes, as well as the interview as a whole.

They both dab away their tears and take the time to calm down. After doing so, they did the outro and were finally free to go.

Y/N checked their phone as soon as they got off and saw that Kuanjui had to leave to take care of something. ‘Let me know how it went’, the text read.

They stepped out of the building and were greeted with the sun shining brightly over them, completely contrasting to the bittersweet feelings they were having at the moment.

“So…” 

Zhanghao breaks the silence, hands stuffed in his pockets.

“I’ll see you around?”

“That’s it? You’re not even gonna exchange socials, numbers, anything?”

Y/N lightly scoffs, and Zhanghao genuinely smiles at this.

“Looks like you didn’t change much.” they exchange both socials and numbers, and couldn’t help but stare at each other in silence afterwards.

Zhanghao’s phone rings. Seeing the caller’s ID, he turns to Y/N. “My members seem to be looking for me now. Let’s catch up some other time, yeah?” he smiles.

“Yeah. We can do that.”

“It was nice seeing you Y/N. In all honesty, I was afraid to see you again, but I’m more reassured now after all this…” he trails off.

“And I missed you. A lot.”

“I missed you too. A lot.” Y/N smiles at him, mirroring his words.

“I’ll see you then. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Zhanghao walks away and Y/N had to resist the urge to chase after him. Watching his figure leave their peripheral vision, they finally allowed a lingering thought to take over them.

“I still love him, don’t I?”

[darlingian]

✨weekly✨tag✨wednesday✨

tagged by @heymacy @energievie @mybrainismelted @mmmichyyy thanks lovelies!

name: c h a n i your time zone: central standard time. (I'm like 90% sure) favorite food: roasted broccoli. your eye color: hazel. do you have curly, wavy, or straight hair? extremely straight hair. (Which is so annoying because my dad has very tight curls, my mom has wavy hair, and my older daughter has curly hair. lolol) coffee or tea? depends what I'm in the mood for. If I just need caffeine fast I'll slam some black coffee. But to sip and enjoy I like a traditional cup of tea with a sugar cube and a splash of milk. (but also, if I'm at a coffee shop I always get iced coffee.) you can only listen to one album for the rest of your life. which album is it? The Shrek soundtrack. I'm so serious. how many countries have you visited? I've never left Canada. (I did once go on the maid of the mist at Niagra Falls and we were pretttttty close to the American side at one point. So... does that count?) favorite social media platform (other than tumblr): TikTok? idk I think it gets a bad rap. (like yes it can be very bad. it also is really great for getting information to the masses.) if you had to be reincarnated as an animal, what animal would you want to be? A wild horse. Or a crow. relationship status: newly separated. asdfghjkl. did you go to college? if so, what did you study? I did not. I didn't graduate highschool either. I'm hoping to go back to school soon though. (still trying to convince myself it isn't too late for me to do all that.) you’ve just made a letterboxd account. what are your top 4 films? Little Women 2019, Marie Antoinette, Across the Universe, Breakfast at Tiffany's, and Practical Magic. (special mention to A Knight's Tale) what’s one of your pet peeves? I have hardcore misophonia so like... any mouth or nose sounds make me immediately see red. lol what’s one of your guilty pleasures? I recently have been buying myself a large diet coke at McDonald's whenever I run errands. I ask for extra ice and then leave the drink in the car whenever I go in and out of shops and then the ice melts in the most perfect way to chew. So then I drink the pop and eat all the ice. and finally, if you could learn any skill, what skill would you want to learn? I would love to make stained glass things.

im tagging @deedala @too-schoolforcool @michellemisfit @gardenerian @gallawitchxx @whatthebodygraspsnot @blue-disco-lights @crossmydna @metalheadmickey @mickeysgaymom @iansw0rld @callivich @wehangout @sam-loves-seb @samantitheos @palepinkgoat and whoever else would like to play!

[wavernot4love]

wanted 2 make a post about some positive things that happened at iDKHOW Buffalo last night, because there certainly was good in there, for everyone involved, and i want to highlight/talk about that stuff!

i make these posts a lot for shows, mostly for myself so i don't forget, but others seem 2 enjoy them too, and i don't think last night's show should be any exception.

- first of all, OPENING BAND in the crowd!!! something i have never heard of dallon doing for that one before, and all things considered, i fully see why he chose to do it here as it fit the clear vibe of just wanting to be close with and sort of revel in the connection with the crowd - and the ability of that to make everything better.

there were no flamboyant theatrics like with visitation, just all of us singing together (it was also just anthony playing onstage), and homie stayed out with us for a long time - most of the song. i was also right up there which was nice.

(i'm just gonna put a keep reading thingy here you can click so this doesn't clog tags/folks' dash due to being long)

was just super sentimental. dallon even brought the "gives me.... and ____ a purpose" thing back, mentioning/gesturing towards anthony, & also the thing where when we're all doing the last "band" he like, leans back and yells it with his hands around his mouth. just kinda got me & made me smile since he didn't do either of those things on saturday, and i always do them out of habit when singing the song because of past shows.

definitely the best moment of the night & the embodiment of everything i love about idkhow. he truly made the best out of everything.

i didn't film all of it, & also my camera angles are bad since i didn't want to shove my phone in dallon (or anyone's) face. this is the only video i really feel comfortable posting from last night since it just felt like everything was alright in that moment, 100%. not that i took many in the first place for that reason, but you get the idea.

- dallon strutting around with a pride flag from someone for half a song!! let me tell you, bro was showing that thing OFF. sadly i just had my film camera in hand in the moment so i just grabbed maybe five shots on that aka i don't have em yet, but i'll have em eventually, and it sure did happen, and it was great. did see a few posts in idkhow's tagged on instagram if ya wanna peep.

- back to what i said in regards to opening band about making a rough situation more positive, dallon brought up this exact point (even moreso than usual, including just on saturday in rochester) earlier in the show while talking about a letter - he went really in depth about turning negative stuff into something beautiful. and was talking about how when he wrote the song, he could only hear what we were doing now (you know the parts, in the chorus) in his head, and now he gets to actually experience it, and so he never stops playing this song even 20 years after he wrote it. i love dallon's love for a letter, man, and hope he never does stop.

- downside has truly become one of my favorite live songs. holy moly dude it had even the otherwise seemingly casual fans going wild, possibly even more than rochester actually. that is a song to freakin JUMP to if there ever was one!!!

- did mention this in my post from last night, but a while after the show (there were only maybe a dozen of us around at this point), on his way out to the bus, dallon kind of smiled & waved at us/said thank you, first to the larger group closer to the venue and then to the few of us a bit further down, too.

can't really word it right, but just the fact that despite seeming quite down, still, bro took care to make sure we all felt appreciated/not ignored was sweet. i think maybe he could tell we were concerned, i don't know, dude, all i do know is there's a lot of kindness in that dude's eyes.

had honestly never really interacted with dallon all these years prior to these shows (besides theatrical visitation crowd stuff), so i hadn't fully realized until these past few days - really given me a different perspective i hadn't fully caught onto before amidst the dramatic aspects of idkhow/dallon & their shows, i guess.

point is, dallon's a kind dude. be good to him. just wanted to say that.

- and finally, last night was my eighth (!) idkhow show, & what's crazy is i have never traveled more than an hour & a half for one all this time. i can't say that goes for any other band, and that fact doesn't go lost on me. western ny loves and shows up for idkhow, & idkhow loves and shows up for western ny always. <3

i just have so much love for all this, dude. i miss the shows already.

this project & dallon's music & the live shows have all been in my life for so long. both of these shows have been special in some way or another, last night being a reminder of how powerful everything idkhow has going is to the point of being able to make something good out of, well, whatever might be going on.

truly hope to catch another show back around here sometime soon. please get out 2 a gig if you can - chances are, like me and everyone i've encountered, really, at their shows, you'll never want to stop going, either, if you do. :p

[charlidos]

Since I'm going through everything about Viggo & Orlando anyway, I might as well bring out the gossip that used to surround them. I don't put a lot of trust in blind items from Ted at E!Online and it's impossible to know if he actuallly had any real intel, or if it was just idle gossip about popular celebs. But it does say one thing for certain: that this was something people talked about back then (in 2004, mostly). That it wasn't just the "Viggorli tinhats" talking. And that, in itself, is interesting.

And I think it's beyond doubt that it WAS Orlando and Viggo that he was talking about here. Regardless if the gossip was true.

From 2004:

We still need to zero in on Grimy Gus and Harland Fuss (or as they're known to their most secretive of buds, Gussy 'n' Fussy). G. 'n' F. have been on location recently. Well, one of them has, at least. Don't think too many folks know that Fuss has joined his good bud Gus for a little mattress messin'. Look, I'm the first to give a hearty shout-out to two guys who want to do what they want, sexually speaking. But when both--all right, make that one--of these men go to great lengths to make the public believe he's bedding down with rising supersweet starlet Eartha Bertha, well then, I get a little pissy. Although it sure was romantic when Gus 'n' Fuss went to such a Secret Service-defying to-do while Gus was out of the States (in a film-friendly environment) making his latest butch-it-up celluloid job. Public lobby and elevator trips at the sumptuous Springtime Suites hotel with Fuss 'n' Eartha were arranged. Photographers just happened to be around, sorta the same way Rock Hudson lived his whole fake life. But I'm getting terribly off the point here, aren't I?

At this time, Orlando was (very) publically dating "starlet" Kate B, and Viggo was filming History of Violence (playing a "butch" character) in Canada. And they were both at the Toronto film festival that year, where this supposed secret romp happened. Also, the nicknames seems to refer to the whole "Prissy elf" and "Filthy human" thing they had going on the set of LotR. And during LotR PR, there was very inane gossip about Viggo seeing L, a woman around O's age, but that they broke up because V didn't care about his personal hygiene. If you look at gossip rags from around 2002-3, it was mentioned a lot...

So yeah, no doubt that it's O, V and K referred to. It's generally considered a "solved" blind. Again, doesn't mean the gossip is true.

In 2010, Ted mentioned HF again, just around when Orlando got married. In this one, there's no mention of "Gus", so of less interest to me. It's all about HF being bi, and how he and his newly wedded wife got hitched because they both needed a career boost (and HF needing a "beard"). A whole lot of nothing really. But again, quite obviously referring to Orlando.

More interesting to me, but also a bit more confounding, are some questions answered around 2009/2010:

Dear Ted: Since you dusted off the old Harland Fuss B.V., can you give us an update on his relaysh with Gus, please? Are they still together? If not, who broke up with whom? And who is Fussy seeing on the DL, then, if not Gussy? —Agusta Dear Gus Who: Long over, babe. Too bad, too, because they were way too hot together, but it was always more of a short-term (very) steamy hookup sitch. Neither dude expected a serious relaysh to come of it, just sex, sex and, oh yeah, more sex. Dear Ted: This is a question about an old blind item that I don't expect you'll answer but I thought I'd give it a shot. Are Harland Fuss and Grimy Gus still together? —Silver Dear Oldie: No. Nor were they ever. Dear Ted: Has Viggo Mortensen ever been a B.V.? I absolutely love him, and he did spend several years with those B.V.-worthy Hobbits in Middle Earth. Did they rub off on him? —LOTR Lover Dear Viggo Go Go: Oh, yeah. One of my (and readers') all-time favorites!

Again, quite clear this blind item was about Orlando and Viggo. This idea that they were just meeting to hook up, short-term (not sure if it's short term as in short meetings, or if it's short in terms of how long this relationship went on), feels a bit off for these two. But it fits that they lost touch (as per Orlando himself) sometime after 2008 or so. And what do I know, really?

No one but them knows. I'm just here, speculating wildly and letting my imagination run free.

(And I looks like I need to keep posting about them - until I've completely exhausted the subject. Or myself. Or tumblr.)

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

the way i thought hobi and taehyung will show the most support to jm during face and here comes taehyung with his closed mouth. I saw pjms saying thanks to him for letting jm see armys on his fanmeet but the way taehyung made me disappointed I'll never ever go back to liking this guy like never. He's there jm's bandmate and that's it. I don't care if jm loves him he's never gonna be same for me. Once i thought vmin were defination of soulmate but the way he behaved during face??? Nope, never, nada. I did got emotional yesterday seeing his bald head but that's that and I have that sympathy for all the humans no matter the person.

He has made it very clear that he's close with his wooga, jk and hobi and that's it. I just know they were having conflicts and somehow it got fine during the time jm went to his music show (the only one who showed some public support to him maybe apart from his wooga idk what they did but I'm sure they must have done something). I can bet my kidney that of jm didn't go to his music show he would have NOT asked jm to come to his fanmeet. i have Hardly ever been wrong about jm i just know that's how it was or would have been. Imagine being this selfish. This is why i wish jm drifts from those two cause They're just undeserving of his friendship his love and his support.

"I did got emotional yesterday seeing his bald head" I'm sorry this made me laugh

I've mentioned this when JK and Taehyung released their albums: JK and Taehyung never went anywhere to support Jimin, they didn't show up for him. Jimin was actually the one who showed up for both of them. He made his social media posts, and also was physically supporting them during a few of their activities. He's always been the one keeping both friendships afloat, and this year was just further proof of that, for me. In fact, JK ignored like crazy even existed until he had to do his own promo; same as Taehyung who only mentioned like crazy when he released his album.

I don't think he invited Jimin only because he went to the music show. That could've been his reasoning, but in my opinion he invited Jimin because he was the only one available. I'm sure he would've asked Jungkook to go, if Jungkook didn't refuse to involve himself professionaly with the other members.

I also came across this earlier today lmfao. I had forgotten about it.

If it was Jimin, he would've chosen a song from all of the members. Even when he went to the lee mujin show he was like, "Taehyung and Jungkook should come here since they have nice voices. Yoongi too". And Yoongi doesn't even sing... bffr Jimin!!

During some suchwita episode, Yoongi said that they went to celebrate Jungkook's bb #1, but none of them ever mentioned anything about celebrating Jimin's. Around those days, they got together because Jin was in leave if I recall correctly? But it's like... Jimin posted a photo at Hoseok's release party, then at Jungkook's release party; a couple with Namjoon while he was filming his stuff last year. He was publicly seen at Lolla, NYC, Taehyung's music show. There is factual, definite proof that he was cheering them on and happy for them in almost every step of the way. Meanwhile we had to assume, we had to imagine that some of them congratulated him. We should assume, we should imagine that they also went to dinner to celebrate his #1.

And it's like... the people want FACTS..! I was never one to assume that the things I believe to be true, are the reality. I don't want to imagine, I don't care to imagine that something nice is going on. I need to know that it's happening.

[araneitela]

🌿 Author portrait. Get to know the author behind the blog! repost, do not reblog.

Basics.

Name/nickname: Manon/Sae (see Lauri, I told you I share it by default) Age: I'll turn 35 only days after summer begins (... in the northern hemisphere that is) Pronouns: She/her Years of writing: I've always written little tidbits throughout life, and most of it in school notebooks. It's not something that I did consistently, but it started roughly around early high school, which is when I was twelve years old. Granted, I also did always, always keep a diary when I was young (one of those with a lock and key and all, I loved I dearly— it was also an extra way of how I was taught about privacy, and how all of us were entitled to it), which held not just writings about my day, but drawings, and thoughts of when I was as young as 5/6. I mourn having lost all of these really, but you can't take many things with you when you move abroad. As for when I started writing on Tumblr? Since 2012, and I started in the Vampire Diaries fandom.

Reflection.

Why did you pick up writing? It was a natural thing to do, because I'd always had this craving to write about things that I didn't know about and wanted to hypothesize on, so I'd write little stories of what life 'might be like one day', for example. But more specifically, I often finished watching films or shows, or concluded a book series, and simply wanted more of it and its characters. I wanted more chapters. And so I dabbled in writing little extensions of scenes that always get cut off too soon, or I'd write things that I knew would surely have occurred in between things, or simply hypothetical situations that made sense within canon. But it always drove me insane how this wouldn't be 'canon', which I think is why I always kept at it, as if I thought that maybe if I did good enough of a job, I could read it as if it was part of the canon itself (though of course I'm not the author so it was unattainable, but I could dream when young!) But maybe that's why I always seem to come back to wanting to be 'canon strict' within my writing. It's to try and do the most justice to peoples' creations in some way? I don't know. I just know authors make me feral, and it's like I want to pay my respect to them for having done that for me.

Do you have any writing routines? I've been thinking about this for a while, because my routines have always kind of changed over the years. But one thing I realized I always do, is that I like to find the instrumental (more often than not) that I'll be writing to, and reread the thread in question until I don't just see the the muse in my head, but hear them, hear their breath, how they sigh, or the way that they're smiling or laughing. If I can't hear any of those fundamental things, then it's difficult to get into writing them. And when that's happened, I kind of... I don't know, automatically envision my muse's current reaction, and condemn them when they show me a glimpse of a reply that's two, or three replies down the line that usually emotionally destroys me.

What's your favorite part about writing? I saw Lottie mention this in her reply, and I kind of want to jump on the bandwagon: being able to get into the headspace of someone who's so vastly different from myself. I've always been intrigued by what I don't know and don't understand, so it's only logical that I ultimately gravitate to those who're so different from myself. I like figuring things out, I like problem-solving, I love research. So while sometimes there may be overlapping commonalities between my muses and myself, it's always relegated to being no more than specific elements.

Three things you like about your writing.

One. This isn't about my writing directly, but it is what ultimately fuels a lot behind it as it's an intricate part of my muse portrayals, so I think that it stills counts: how much my brain will cook and cook on lore and references, without going 'outside' of the realms of what canon gives me. It's the intense need to dissect and understand. And I like to think that it ultimately adds a semblance of realism to my portrayals and thus, hopefully, my writing when I do my best to integrate all of it into, well, the thing that, well, 'presents them to the masses'.

Two. This is a tough and mostly weird one, but I want to mention this because I think being able to do so is a big one in terms of 'self-positivity', I suppose. The fact that I'm able to actually... like my own writing, is something that I like about it. It takes a long time, and I've been out of commission so much in the last 3 years that I don't like a lot of what I write. But when I get back into it, a few replies down the time, I can write something that I'll actually be happy with, or I'll look back at random replies I wrote a month ago, a year ago, and sometimes I go 'you know what, I like this', and I wasn't able to do that when I'd started. But I can do it now, my writing has gotten to a point where sometimes I actually can say that I like it. It's not consistent by any means, and not lately, but I know that I can and will get there.

Three. I like to think that my writing changes a bit voice-wise to fit specific characters, not overly much so, but enough so that I don't tend to struggle or get intimidated by voices. I either take to a certain voice immediately (Tony Stark, Guizhong, Jace Herondale, etc.) or it can take me numerous weeks (Yelan/Kafka, Dorian Pavus, Ezio Auditore), but they all inevitably seem to settle according to my writing partners. So while outward dialogue is always the thing that I struggle with the very most and longest, I think that when it settles, it might be one of my stronger suits.

A question for the next person.

Write a question for the next person to answer. Once you've answered it, leave a new question for someone else to answer.

What do you find the most difficult to write (eg dialogue)? I've always answered one of two things for this in the past, one being dialogue but I'm kind of getting over that nowadays. The other mostly stems from the fact that I have difficulty getting sentences to flow properly, it's the transition of one sentence to another. It's that no matter how much I may speak English out loud conversationally nowadays, it's this mental discrepancy I have between it and my native tongue when it comes to creative writing because I write so differently from how I speak. It's really the thing that'll motivate me to rewrite an entire paragraph sometimes, and also why one reply can take so excessively long. I'll reread and it sounds like one sentence is so far removed from the one that came before it, that I shake my head and redo it. It's quite honestly the bane of my existence. Flow, flow, flow.

New question: When life throws you lemons, and gets you down, does writing become something that you're drawn to as to get you through it, or do you feel like it does the opposite?

Tagged by: @daybreakrising (muah, Lauri! And thank you Aven for making this lil thing) Tagging: @spiderwarden @delusionaid @aventvrina @astrxlfinale and whoever else who wants to do it; feel free to steal it from me and tag me.

[itsasweater]

HSMTMTS thoughts before season 4

So I recently finished my re-watch of season 1 through 3 before the final season airs so that things are fresh in my memory. I wanted to make a couple of posts on my thoughts on the seasons in general and possibly some specific topics like the characters themselves. This one will be about each season.

Season 1:

I hadn't seen this season since when it originally aired and let me just say, it was kind of a grind to watch. I feel like the season didn't really start until the Homecoming episode which was ep 5. I also forgot this season had 10 episodes. The whole Nini/Ricky/EJ triangle storyline didn't really hit for me. Ricky's home problems with his parents, everything changing around him (which he clearly hates) and how he dealt with that was probably the best storyline of the season, as sad as it was to see his character go through it. The music in the season was decent, Nini had some really good. I think a lot of nostalgia comes in to play with the way people talk about season 1, it is overhyped. I also think a lot of it has to do with the very weird Jolivia obsession that still to this day for some reason resides in the fandom, I see the PFP's and twitter user names smh. Overall, new shows tend to struggle out of the gate and need a while to find the right path so I'm at least glad that they got more seasons to continue that journey instead of being cancelled like many shows do without getting the chance to do so. It certainly seems like they were not sure whether they would get renewed or not after season 1.

Season 2:

It really is a shame that this season has the most episodes because I feel like it is definitely the weakest season. It was a struggle to get through this season on the re-watch. I appreciate what the cast and crew went through while filming this season though because I know they started filming in Feb 2020 and stopped in March because of the pandemic and had to return towards the end of 2020 until March of the next year with under strict conditions. So, maybe the pandemic played a role in the quality of the season but I feel like this was even the casts least favorite season with the way they talked about it. Nini's YAC storyline felt out of place and just didn't keep me engaged, the lighting for this season was also very dark lol. I do think this season did a nice job of continuing to show Ricky's struggle with his home life from season 1 and the fact that things were still changing in his life which the show continues to mention just how much he hates that. Ashlyn getting the leading role as Belle was nice and her dealing with her insecurities about that was good. The season Finale fell flat though, it seemed rushed and I think it was ranked as the worst episode in the whole series. This season did however have 2 of my favorite songs of the whole show, the trio of Kourtney, Gina and Ashlyn coming together to sing 1-2-3 was great. The 4 main characters (Nini, Gina, EJ and Ricky) singing Second Chance was so good, they meshed well together.

Season 3:

This season is probably my favorite. I know some people in the fandom don't feel the same about the season because it felt different from the first 2 but I think that is a good thing. Sometimes shows need a change of pace and they did that with this season. Making it a summer season out of school at a camp was something different and the show had a different tone because of it. It was definitely more lighthearted compared to season 2 and the cast seemed to have had great time filming together. Also going from filming in Utah to filming in LA was probably a nice change for the actors since most of them are based in LA. I know the whole documentary storyline thing was an adjustment for people but they clearly had a plan for it to be a springboard for the plot in season 4 and connect them together. Besides that, Kourtney's anxiety storyline was a highlight for me as I'm sure lots of people could relate to her, the phone call with her mom was great and I'm interested to see if they touch on this more in season 4. Some of the disappointment in the season comes from favorite characters not being in it like Seb and Big Red which is understandable but it's also realistic that not everyone in the group would go to the same camp in the summer, when people usually have different plans. Also, the show clearly felt like they weren't as important to tell the story in season 3 which was used too set up season 4. It was nice that Big Red, Seb and Miss Jenn did make cameo's though, with how big the cast is and the length of the episodes that are not that long it's hard to fit everyone in with meaningful storylines. The additions of Maddox and Jet this season were probably the best new characters that the show has added during the 3 seasons, the actors playing them are great as well and seem to have really bonded with the cast which is really nice to see. WDYKAL was probably my favorite performance of the season, it was very non Disney like lol The tension and chemistry was kind of crazy lol I feel like they could have shown more of the Frozen performance but Kourtney playing Elsa was also a great moment in the season. I'm really excited for season 4 because they seem to be going with a really META storyline for the season and I'm excited too see how the documentary from season 3 has affected the characters.

Anyways, this turned out longer than I intended it too but these are my thoughts on each of the 3 seasons after my re-watch, I will probably make a couple more posts on singular topics like the characters or the ships later. I'm always up for discussions, so if you have anything you want to say please do. I know this place can get out of hand when discussing this show within the fandom but I have thicker skin than most and I don't mind having a discussion but I also understand I'm not the norm lol

If you have read all of this, thank you. If you at least read the title of the post, thank you. Even though you will not see the thank you lol

[vvatchword]

I just stumbled upon your blog it’s such a relief to finally see some adult tmnt fans. I am curious. You mentioned Leo is your favorite turtle do you have a least favorite? It’s in general because I am not sure how much of 03 you watched so I am going for In general

You found the right motherfucker. I am friends with LOTS of adult fans. If you want to meet others, I can introduce you.

2003 is actually the one series I know the least about! I know a LOT about TMNT... I've read through most of the comics, I've seen most of the TV series, and I've seen most of the movies. Unfortunately, 2003 appeared in this super awkward point in my life where I had decided I was An Adult Now Thank You Very Much! Also, I had little time for TV, never had cable before and didn't know where TMNT even aired, and just didn't tend to watch television in general.

When it comes to 2003, I've been able to get through most of Season 1... but it's just so clearly for kids, and the animation style is so ugly, that I routinely fall out of it like no one's business. I need to watch it with friends so they can keep me in it. It's really a shame, too; I just know in my heart of hearts that 2003 would have been truly special to me had I experienced it as a child. In a lot of ways, it was the cartoon I wanted as a bab. Unfortunately, I got 1987 :( Archie TMNT was the closest I could get to the maturity and drama I craved. There's a mass shootout in that thing. The Mutanimals all fucking die. I was delighted.

Well. I say that. I got my hands on the original Mirage Volume 1 at age 8 by complete mistake, and THAT is what I wanted most of all. DEATH. DESTRUCTION. BOOBIES. WAVES OF BLOOD. GUN VIOLENCE. DRAMA. POSSIBLE DEATH? Everyone is a washing machine now. GIANT DINOSAUR MONSTERS. FORBIDDEN FRUIT.

As to my least favorite turtle... at first I thought I would say, "Ah, I like 'em all, who gives a fuck." But that's a lie. Raph is my least favorite. I disliked his personality. I cringed at how edgelord he could be. I just wanted him to do the right thing. See, when I was a kid, I glommed onto the Turt that reflected what I wanted to be: responsible and proper and orderly and focused. Raphael was the antithesis of all that, and I was obsessed with Bringing Order, so he drove me crazy by proxy. Basically, I was Lawful Good. I am now Chaotic Good, but that ancient distrust remains!

Moreover... I had a personal problem with Raphael. See, Raphael is basically the centerpiece Turtle. If a comic book had to center on a single Turtle, it always chose Raphael. Volume 1 is FULL of one-offs where Raphael is the only turtle present. The films also tend to focus on Raphael--to the point that he took Leo's arc in the 1990 movie. Hell, he was straight-up the protagonist in 1990, 2007, and 2016. He was also constantly front and center in Archie TMNT--probably the closest the series had to a protagonist. There was a point I just started fucking RESENTING the character. I started thinking that everyone just had it out for my favorite Turtle instead of recognizing Leonardo's problems as a character and how difficult it was to give him arcs, especially in kids' media.

In other news, I thought I turned off anon and I'm just cackling. How did I fuck this up so spectacularly

[xuseokgyu]

Every month of 2023 with Belle!

post your favorite and/or most popular posts from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months and/or choose more than one set) I was tagged by @ambivartence and @jinniebit

I have been pretty inactive, but at least I didn't completely vanish hahahah Here is my year in review

January - The most popular set is WooSan and I'm not surprised at all hahah This random old moment I saw and had to have it in my blog. Some favorites and honorable mentions are My top songs of 22 cause it turned out better than I expected; one of my favorite Mingi looks ever (which I RANDOMLY got a photocard of on a store ~destiny~); Velvet Hwa cause LOOK AT HIM and Ponytail Mingi cause I still can't believe that was real

February - Again, not surprised at all cause yall are THIRSTY, but my most popular post in February was Berlin Mingi; Favorites and honorable mentions are this Pink Mingi; Fever Epilogue Teez cause that's still my favorite era/album (and I love my coloring); and Date with DK cause we love to be delulu

March - Most popular is Woo being his silly little self in Wanteez hahahah; And omg what a great month I have SO MANY SETS I LOVE; The favorite is definitely not my best set but it was Cyberpunk Mingi in Madrid FILMED BY YOURS TRULY, just the fact that i made a gif of something I filmed... I was THERE, I SAW THEM!!! And then I love all my sets from Atzrevival but I guess the “Tingle Interview” one made me specially proud with the coloring etc

April - Finally some more SVT heheh The most popular set was the Silliest SCoups ever hahaha I love him; My most favorite is Joong and Bumjoong in Madrid cause I LOVE to see these brothers interact; then we have Barbie Mingi, this ADORABLE Puppy Gyu and some of my firsts Xikers gifs

May - Of course the most popular post was YuWoo's kiss on Wanteez hahah Now for favorites we have Bouncy Teaser Mingi (which I was super proud of the coloring); this tiny adorable Minghao; and Tadashi Yunho

June - Another great month (*cough* Bouncy promotions *cough*) The most popular post was YuSanSang being Adorably Silly; AND WE HAD MY MOST FAVORITE VARIETY EPISODE EVER Wooyoung with Arin 😭😭😭; Some other honorable mentions are Furry Minghao (don't judge me, he is adorable); Ateez cuddle pile, Rainbow Sorbet Joong and Changbin with Harang

July - I've started to slow down on creating around this month and you can see my sets from here on out consist basically of Mingi, YunGi and a little bit of Yunho, but I can see you get me since the most popular is this adorable YunGi moment during fansign; Honorable mentions are this adorable Puppy Looking Yunho and My SVT bias line keeping the delulu alive

August - FATHER AND SON FINALLY TOGETHER and I love that you all agree with me, making Mingi and Sumin the most popular post of the month hehe My favorite set after this one is Ateez's Family Dynamics (because I looooove their family like relationship) and a special shout out to Mingi's Birthday Post cause I was super proud of how it turned out

September - This post turned out way more pink than I wanted but this YunGi moment is so PERFECT I'm not surprised is the most popular post; Then we have Sunglasses Mingi making me weak in the knees as a favorite

October - I only created one post during October :') but Mingi being Babied by the Members is SO cute and the post went so well I'm sure it would be one of the most popular ones even if I had more, It would definitely be within the favorites

November - Again, just one post during the whole month... And honestly, I wasn't going to create at all, but I saw this DK at UNESCO and something *clicked* I HAD to gif it

December - Crazy Form promotions made me create a little more this month (lots of Mingi to no one's surprise)... The most popular post, and definitely my favorite as well, is Mingi being Obsessed and Making Yunho blush cause like... yeah. I'm also proud of my MV Highlights post and I'm obsessed with the Season's Greetings aesthetics

And that's it! Thank you for sticking by me everyone I don't think I'll get back to being super active, but I definitely don't want to have months with a single set again, so you can still expect great things from me Here is for a great 2024 for us all!!

[fishfishfruit]

with twitter self imploding i thinking about shifting back here so i am cautiously starting with Some Thoughts on film red under the cut

yes!! i love the confirmation that usopp is the crew's stylist and makes their clothes. actually, i think oda might have mentioned something about usopp making t-shirts but i've also been re-reading saint young men so my wires are getting crossed, probably.

audience surrogate jinbe is great and helpful ngl. he's the only one asking the right questions and i love him for it. also?? they did just a fantastic job seamlessly adding him to the crew here. he had so many cool scenes i am so happy for him. 😭

i wanna say the most out of focus character in the movie was,,, zoro? he was. there. like he did a lot of cool things, but he didn't do a whole lot. which is fine bc i think characters like brook and usopp have been out of focus in the manga so giving them some time to shine isn't a bad thing. i honestly think the only thing zoro got out of the movie was free booze, he's happy. i'm happy.

we'll get to sanji. also zosan so do not fret i will be on brand for this.

im a dumbass who paid $25 US dollary doos for dolby digital (imax though, makes me nauseous) but holy fucking hell that was worth it, the music combined with the visuals looked so fucking Good on screen, i can't really imagine watching it on my laptop screen or even a tv. this is definitely the reason why we need theaters yet ngl.

uta gaslights the entire movie and we love her for it. i love oda's "were gonna make cute, morally ambiguous girlbosses" era

"oh no not another movie about a new character from a main character's childhood who we never met until now" actually i felt like uta's addition to the movie was a lot less contrived than sabo surviving a ship explosion, and tbf luffy is not really one to talk about his past all that much so it works for me.

most of the side characters were well intergrated into the movie with the exception of kalifa, i wish she'd done more but i guess there were already a lot of characters to organize.

im so happy they were like "brulee has such a fantastic devil fruit power we're gonna add her in here and also katakuri, sure, the people LOVE katakuri i love brulee she's so funny and my favorite charlotte sibling WEEPS

ok now we'll talk about the Boy.

sanji was a good boy

i love when sanji keeps his shit together, smooth operator sanji is such a Mood.

YES i did cry at him flirting with brulee omg that was such an adorable scene, i wish he was more flirty with older ladies like that. it feels so on brand for him to do that.

ok back in may i made a joke about sanji and zoro taking edibles in context of this movie and i didn't think there would be drugs in the film because of japan's views on illicit substances. and then uta slips sanji a shroom and i'm fuckin losing my shit. apollo pegging me with the dodgeball here.

music, violence, drugs, Woodstock 99 the anime. Anyway

i'll finish off this ramble with Zosan of course.

the pandering was so explicit i cannot believe toei made them sleep next to each other like a chaste 1950s couple with separate beds.

ok i said zoro did nothing earlier. 90 per cent of zoro's lines in the film were just him flirting with sanji and 45% of sanji's lines was him reciprocating. toei knows exactly what they are doing and its killing me.

the shoulder scene? fucking Shameless zoro. whore behavior.

imagine being anime only and watching zoro knock out a bunch of dudes with out even looking at them and sanji's leg turning into blue fire for 5 seconds. have fun wondering what that's all about.

and that 5 seconds where luffy does gear 5?? knocked my fuckin socks off

final thoughts: if i had the time i'd go watch it in theaters again. this movie?? this movie was made for me!! im sure there are a lot of flaws but personally it worked for what it was lol. 10/10.

[sindar-princeling]

actually! i have another question! i know you’ve said that ROP’s holistic reception was rather… :/ but how was the show’s true quality? was there any memorable/fitting music? was it plot accurate? was the film quality high? and a bonus, do you have a favorite scene?

not to offload all this on you at once, but i just want to know your opinion of its quality uwu

hi again! ❤️

I just wanna begin by saying I'm no expert on film- and tv-making, so I don't think I'll have much professional input, but. here we go!

(this is gonna be a spoilery review, just a warning)

overall, the quality was pretty uneven, I'd say. the show was advertised as the most expensive series ever made, and... I personally couldn't see that. especially regarding costumes and cgi, i feel like there was a lot of room to improve. some views and wide shots of locations were pretty nice (lindon, eregion, also khazad dum was just beautiful in some shots), but the scene where they were sailing to valinor looked really bad to me, especially those cgi seagulls.

the acting was a mixed bag. there are characters whose acting i really enjoyed (miriel in the second half of the series, elrond, arondir had his moments, adar was GREAT, elendil was pretty cool, durin was good even when the script wasn't), but it only made the rest look worse in comparison, i'm afraid.

I'd say the music was good. I'm not sure i'd call it memorable, because apart from the opening credits music i well. don't remember it, but that may just be my shitty memory jshkjfhjdk but I don't think there were any moments where music felt unfitting or jarring. it was fine.

about the writing... okay, that's a long one.

as for the plot - they didn't have many rights to tolkien's works, so their options were limited, plot-wise. even the intro with some information from the years of the trees and the first age was very general, and didn't even mention the kinslaying.

but while they had to invent a lot of plot, the characters were RIGHT THERE. all they had to do was do them justice, and in my opinion - they didn't. galadriel isn't wise or power hungry (in my opinion), and it's a shame. her arc is in most part just the writers screaming ISN'T IT IRONIC HOW SHE CAUSED THE THING SHE TRIED TO STOP, it lacks any subtlety.

(on this topic, why did sauron tempt her, and not celebrimbor? does it stink a bit of homophobia or...? it's like they were deadly afraid of even a hint of homoerotic subtext. like im sure that's what happened, but it still sucks)

it's a story about forging of the rings of power, and celebrimbor is barely there. i'm really baffled by some of the writing choices, because they clearly had the rights to the rings, celebrimbor and sauron, so why not tell the story that was written? there is enough material there to tell a compelling story, and in my opinion choosing to omit and overwrite it was a bad one. neither galadriel, nor the original plot benefitted from the writing choices, i think. they both ended up heavily flattened and less interesting than their original versions.

galadriel especially had many of her ambitions and stuggles taken away from her - by making her conflict with sauron central to the plot, the show takes away from the fact that galadriel's biggest stuggle has always been with herself - and in lotr, she wins when she resists the ring (NOT sauron - she resists her hunger for power and her huge ambition. it's about HER). it was one of the changes that made me the saddest, because they had a truly amazing, iconic female character right there, and they wasted her potential so painfully.

it WOULD feel wrong to say i wish they just hadn't chosen her as the main character, because we DO still need more female leads - many, many more. but i can't not be angry at the way they stripped her of her ambitions, best strengths and defining flaws.

there are also many changes to the lore, to which my reactions switched between "why add that?" (isildur's sister, the priestesses? witches? whoever they were), "why change that" (mithril lore (im still all "???" whenever i try to make sense of it)), and "oh my fucking GOD" (halbrand as sauron, mordor's on/off switch). especially the last one was... ridiculous. mordor is a country that's seeped through with evil because of the dark forces inhabiting it for ages, and you're telling me they decided to make it so that it was created within a few minutes because a guy put a sword into a keyhole? fuck off

the whole sauron thing is a material for a separate post and this is already long enough, but I'll just say. i don't get why they had to make drama around sauron. everyone and their mother knows who sauron is, you can just use the impact that this character has instead of creating conflict with a weak plot justification. of course it was going to be hard to create a character from someone who in LOTR is more a symbol than a person - but in my opinion, they didn't make any right choices regarding him. and they didn't even tell the actor he was going to be playing sauron until they were shooting episode three, which is a trend that seriously needs to stop.

all in all, if you're looking for bits of story and lore that tolkien came up with, they are not there. solid 90% of the show - maybe more - is something new or changed

the costumes are... meh, mostly. there is one thing in particular that makes my blood boil, and it's Numenorean armor, best visible on Miriel. take a look at her sleeves:

(id in alt text)

it's fucking. fabric with the scales pattern printed on it??? which is either a pretty bad costume idea/design, or THE cheapest, laziest, almost insulting execution I've ever seen.

also, many costumes are only like two layers of clothes, they usually have few details like jewellery and such, so they often look simply unfinished. especially elven costumes are underwhelming. I think as far as i remember, the dwarves' costumes looked best. I'd recommend watching LanaMarie's videos on youtube, I've stumbled upon them while looking for video essays on rop and it's clear she knows what she's talking about when it comes to costuming.

(also, I stand by what i said when the first promo pics came out - why would you get rid of long-haired male elves? I hate that they did that. are they THAT afraid of breaking gender norms?)

last but not least - i was seriously not impressed by the actors' accents choices. you got English elves, irish harfoots, scottish dwarves, cockney (? i'm not sure) orcs... it was a mess of really ugly stereotypes.

(EDIT: I worded this poorly - it sounds like I mean to say it's the actors' fault, but that's not what I meant. I wanted to say that the actors playing certain races seemed to have been assigned certain accents by the creators and along with some script choices it created a few ugly situations that felt very stereotypical and harmful towards real life people who speak with those accents)

HOWEVER, despite all that i'm gonna end on a more positive note and refer to your last question, my favourite scene. this spot is easily taken by the scene where disa and some other dwarves sing to the mountain to let go of trapped miners. it had amazing impact, to me it was a beautiful piece of lore, and it showed the love and respect and trust the dwarves have for the mountains. it was so short and simple yet so amazingly effective in conveying everything it had to convey. also disa's singing gave me goosbumps, the actress has an amazing voice.

okay, i think that's all i wanted to say (wow, that's. a lot). thank you a lot for asking, I hope that tells you what you wanted to learn! and i really enjoyed this opportunity to talk some more about my thoughts :)

[lover-cook]

Valentine's Week : Familial

Ohhhh familial f/os oh my familial f/os. These guys do genuinely mean so much to me you don't even know man. I'm gonna ramble about my fictional dads and siblings to my hearts content!

I'm gonna start with the Powerful Dad Quartet!

Buggy, Mihawk, and Shanks in particular really REALLY resonate with me like. THOSE ARE MY DADS! Shanks was probably the first that I connected with like family when I watched OPLA for the first time. Then I watched Film: Red and I was sold wahah. In my head he's who hypes me up and has my back the most and that's means.. alot. Next was Buggy who happened after I started my watch of the anime and got to know him better. He reminds me a lot of the irl father figures I've had in my life, which is a trend you'll see as we go on. He's explosive and impulsive and loud and kind of an ass but that's part of the fun I think. I have problems speaking up for myself and setting boundaries especially around men so the idea of him understanding and respecting me but still being his goofy and obnoxious self is.. kind of like practicing in my head, you know? MIHAWK MY DAD MIHAWK! Okay going to be honest my connection to him mostly builds off Goth Family headcanons and inserting myself into them wahah. That doesn't mean I don't have my reason's though. Mihawk is like the soft-spoken but earnest autistic dad I didn't know I needed. The kind to listen to my rambles and interests and be supportive even if he doesn't get it at all, you know? Don't tell anyone but he's my favorite lkndalkadflnk And the most recent is Crocodile! Which I don't have enough to give proper thoughts outside of I enjoy him a lot and him being in Cross Guild was the final push to just go ahead and add him. He gives me scary-dad "my daddy's got a gun" privilege's./hj NOW I CAN TALK ABOUT MY PIRATE SIBLINGS. :D

LUFFY AND UTA MY BROTHER AND SISTER LUFFY AND UTA!

When I tell you from the BEGINNING I got some little brother energy from Luffy wahah. I can't tell you the kinship I feel with Luffy and it's not just because he also gives me gender envy. I think getting a full body arm wrap hug from him would fix me and make me the happiest person on earth. AND UTA!! I need just one movie and snacks night with her and I think we'd connect instantly. Their isn't much outside of sibling energy with these two and the connections to Shanks with both of them. I realized if Shanks is my dad these two are my brother and sister and when I tell you I WAS SO HAPPY. Absolute goobers <3 Now onto the non One Piece people!!

Silver my amazing cyborg dad Silver <3 This was probably my first emotionally charged familial f/o. I learned about Treasure Planet during the emotional rollarcoaster that was 2020 and I got attached QUICKLY! He's another one of my many fatherly f/os that really really reminds me of the father figures I've had in my real life and that effects how I interact with him. Silver was one of the few characters at the time that really said what I needed to hear, you know? I saw myself a lot emotionally in Jim and watching the pep talks he was given by Silver felt like I was getting those too. Once again I think a full body beer belly hug would fix me waha.

GLAMROCK FREDDY!!! MY SUPERSTAR!! I am not immune to big robot dad influences. For all it's faults Security Breach didn't hold any punches with the characterization of their animatronics and their is no better an example than Glamrock Freddy! I was just as affected by the "way to go Superstar!" and got attached QUICKLY! He's just such a sweetie and is such a good dad he would make sure I was so so loved and supported.

AND I NEED TO MENTION THE WACHOSKI'S !!! This group genuinely gives me such soft and sunshiney feelings for a family that only exists in two movies (not to say I don't connect with Tails and Knuckles outside of the movies but them in this family format Hits Different) They are THE definition of a comfort family for me and I can't help at look and Maddie and Tom and see parents, you know? They bring me such a sense of childlike joy and carefreeness that's unparalleled. And Tails, Knuckles, and Sonic are so like. Sweet and realistic in the sense of being siblings, you know? I would gladly sign up to be the nerdy but cool older siblings in their group. I wear the badge of being the one to get us out of trouble like a BADGE!

And some honorable mentions to Astrid, Giovanni, and Wukong as well even though I don't have the time to talk about them too much! A lot of my familial f/os come from a place of projection and healing from my unhealthy home life growing up and these three mean a lot to me in that way. Giovanni and Astrid really really remind me of my own mother and the father figures in my life and through them I come to understand that more and help myself feel better about that situation I was put in. And Wukong reminds me a lot of an unperfect dad who's at least trying and learning and growing as a person as well as being a male role model I didn't get to have.