#also the first ratchet and clank makes me want to pull my hair out

[imslowlydragingmyselfbacktohell]

I finally got a ps5 and could play Rift Apart!

The clank and ratchet scenes were so sweet ✨ and the gameplay was pretty fun. Wish the story was longer for waiting 2 years to play a game but that’s more on PlayStation lol

Super happy to play all the older games on here too!

[kellbellsparkles]

Chapter 10 of my Ratchet and Clank fanfic "Family"

Clank thinks he's in the safe zone until proven wrong. Rivet and Kit meet a new Lombax who seemingly offers good graces and services

Meanwhile, Rivet and Kit exited Zurkie's Explosive Diner in dismay from failing to reach Clank.

"Straight to voicemail," Rivet said as she took a sip out of a water bottle. "That's okay, right? That doesn't mean anything."

"I could try again," Kit suggested.

Suddenly, her head bulbs flashed. Kit flinched, taken aback.

"Oooor he could call back."

"Hello?" Clank's voice buzzed. "Kit? Rivet?"

"Bolts!" Rivet cheered, kneeling to Kit's level. "Thank goodness! How are ya?"

"If I may speak the truth, I fled to your dimension because someone placed an incredibly extravagant bounty on my head for unknown reasons. Maybe. A lot has been happening."

"Tell us where you are so we can come get you and figure this out!"

"Negative…. For I fear that I do not know where my dimensional jump has landed me."

"Isn't Ratchet with you?"

"I cannot involve him in this. He is spending much needed quality time with his mother."

Rivet's and Kit's eyes widened in grand stupor. They looked to each other for a moment to see if they heard right.

"Did you just say his mother?" Rivet quoted.

"Yes," Clank said. "She came from the past through a time portal, one of many that have torn open due to when the original Dimensionator exploded."

Rivet shook her head.

"That sounds incredibly confusing," she stated. "And I want to hear all about it, but right now, do you mean to say that you dimension hopped without a set coordinates or even pinning Kit's location?"

"That is correct," Clank answered. "An assassin left me no time."

"Well. describe your surroundings."

"It is quite bright and busy with an incredibly long line of people. And something stinks incredibly fierce."

From the corner of her eye, Kit spotted Clank just inside the diner. She motioned for Rivet to look behind her. Rivet whipped around and saw him, too. She finger whistled.

"Bolts!" she called out. "We're over here!"

Clank looked outside and saw the girls waving at him. He swung open the door and hurried outside towards them.

"I suppose that was easy enough," he said.

"May I ask what the person who attacked you looked like?" Kit inquired.

"Why's that important if they're in the other dimension?" Rivet questioned.

"It may be important for Ratchet to know so he can assist us when he is able," Kit replied.

"I could not identify the species," Clank said. "It all happened so fast. All I remember is Sigmund carrying me and protecting me. And a flash of green light when the assassin caught up to us."

Rivet froze, clenching her fists on the ground and gritting her teeth.

"A flash of green light?" she mouthed.

"Rivet?" Kit said worryingly. "Are you alright?"

"Oh yeah," Rivet said. She inhaled deeply. "I just had a flashback. That's all."

"Of?"

"Okay. This sounds pretty crazy, but I'm thinking that the assassin is the dimensional counterpart to the Streaker."

Kit gasped.

"The Streaker? Oh no…"

"Who is the Streaker?" Clank asked.

"He was bioengineered by Emperor Nefarious to be the perfect soldier," Kit said. "Enhanced speed, enhanced strength, enhanced sense of smell…. I have seen him hunt down and execute resistance members without fail. With Nefarious deposed, he could be working for anyone now."

"He also killed Tasha," Rivet interjected.

Clank tilted his head curiously.

"Who?"

Rivet showed him the picture of the two of them together that she'd showed Kit previously. Clank leaned and stared; his eyes lit up in as he recognized the similarity between the relationship between her and Rivet.

"Was she perhaps a political figure as well?" he asked.

"Her dad was," Rivet scoffed. "But he sold out to Nefarious. My Tasha wanted no part of it and ran away with me instead." She sighed with a lovestruck smile. "That's my girl. So brave and independent."

"I am so sorry for your loss," Clank said with a sad tone.

Rivet closed her treasured holographic picture. She stared down at her artificial hand.

"I was still getting used to my new arm," she said. "I was raring to get back to my old self again. Me and Tasha were infiltrating a prison camp for people who didn't tip the patrol officers. We were going to outfit them with weapons we'd taken after we knocked out the guards so they could defend themselves as we escaped. We got to the prisoners and I was so close to breaking the code on the prison lock. That's when Tasha pulled me out of the way. The Streaker had gotten the jump on us and we were forced to retreat without them. I tried to fight him as Tasha prepped our getaway bike. It wasn't our first shakedown with him, so it wasn't hard to predict where he was going to strike from his zoom maneuver, but my arm…. It completely locked on me. Tasha finished prepping our ride and saw I was in trouble…. The Streaker removed his glove and rammed his glowing fist towards me."

Kit's eyes fell to the ground in shame. Rivet's lips quivered as she recalled the moment her partner's life ended.

"It was all a blur after that," Rivet recalled. "I just held onto her tight, grappled onto the bike, and drove away. That same night, I buried her in our clubhouse where we could just kick back and just be girls. I set it on fire, too. She would've wanted to go out like that." She took a sip from her water bottle once more.

Kit twiddled her fingers and shuffled her feet. An overwhelming wave of remorse splashed over her.

"Rivet, I--"

In that same moment, however, every big broadcasting screen in the area showed a portrait of Clank with the thirty billion bolt bounty price tag. Rivet spit out her water and started coughing and gasping. Kit did a double take in every direction; nothing had changed.

As for Clank, the world towered around him, or it was him that started to feel smaller. The various sounds dulled and dialed down into a buzzing muffle. He began to see pairs of piercing eyes throwing daggers at him accompanied with whispers and laughter. He stumbled backwards. Kit took notice.

"Clank?" she said with a worried tone. She took a step forward. All Clank saw was a distorted figure coming after him. He leapt in fright and ran away.

"Clank!" she cried out. "Wait! Let us help you!"

But he was gone, lost in the merged crowd of confusion. Unable to do anything else, she stood by Rivet and rubbed her right side as she caught her breath.

"Thirty--" she panted. "Thirty bill-- thirty bi-- Thee-- illion--"

"This does not make any sense," Kit said with alarm in her voice. "Why would there be a bounty for him here, too?"

"Oh dear. What a day it's been, hasn't it?"

A woman wearing a brown fur cloak had approached them. She removed her hood to reveal that she was another Lombax. She had silver stripes, black fur, a brown nose, white hair, and grey eyes that lacked pupils.

"Perhaps I could be of assistance if you'll have me," she said.

Rivet gasped and staggered, falling on her butt.

"A-Are you really?" she stammered in shock. "First Ratchet, then his mom, now you? Are they really coming back?"

"Maybe," the Lombax said. "Our meeting could be a sign of a new age of reunion and beginnings. My name is Lazuli."

"R-Rivet," Rivet said as she scrambled to stand herself up. "My name is Rivet. And this here is Kit."

"It is an honor to meet you, Ms. Lazuli," Kit said in wonder.

"Would you like to meet my colleagues and my family?" Lazuli asked.

"Oh my-- there's even more?" Rivet spoke shakily.

"I came to this city for a special keratin shampoo that can only be found here for my son," Lazuli said. "He's quite particular about what he wants."

"Is it Shimmer Me Shine??"

"The very same."

Rivet let out a loud excited squeal.

"Me and Tasha would go on high speed heists for that stuff!" she exclaimed.

"It sounds like my Jonas would love to share his beauty tips with you," Lazuli remarked in an amused tone. "I hope you don't mind the age difference. Let's just say I'm pushing the envelope of the average lifespan myself."

"Are you kidding? Age is just a number! Beauty is boundless!"

"Well said. Shall we be on our way then?"

"Absolutely! You guys must have ship tons of gadgets that make my collection look like a beginner's manual!" Rivet scooped Kit into her arms.

"Kit!!" she wailed in elation. "We get to meet other Lombaxes!!"

"This is wonderful!" Kit beamed. "Surely we will be able to rescue Clank in no time!"

Lazuli closed her eyes and giggled silently to herself. Rivet skipped beside her.

"By the way," she said. "Are your eyes okay?"

"They are," Lazuli said. "It's a genetic aesthetic condition known as Nuliris that goes back way before my time. My children and some of our allies have it as well. In fact, it does more than give us a unique look. I'd be happy to show you once we've reached my ship."

Rivet and Kit hummed and hugged each other in eager anticipation. A new Lombax, a door to meet other Lombaxes, a new realm of adventure.

[olivia200312]

My Hero~ Ratchet x Shy! Human! Reader *Request*

Requested by the lovely Courtney the Butterfly Girl Courtney57658 on Quotev.

"I've actually got one request for the Ratchet and Clank one-shots. The reader is human and incredibly shy, she and Ratchet become close overtime (along with Clank, but they're just best friends and nothing more), but gets captured by Dr. Nefarious, and Ratchet has to get her back. No torturing or anything like that. Just angst and fluff. Hope this isn't too much to read. 😄😊 "

Note: the pic does not belong to me! It goes to the owner!

---------------------------------------

It's a hot day in planet Veldin. This planet isn't known as the hottest planet in Solona Galaxy. Gasper was the hottest planet. It was a normal day in Veldin. There was a garage where the heroes lived. Yes, heroes. The heroes were a kind Lombax, a smart small robot and a very shy human. Yes, even a very shy human. A cute one in fact. The Lombax was called Ratchet and he had a pal called Clank. He found him after he crashed here at night. Clank escaped just in time from the factory before he got destroyed by Victor. Clank explained that he was in Veldin to warn The Galactic Rangers from Drek's army. Ratchet gladly helped. Not only him, but also Ratchet's best friend (and crush) called Y/N. She was 18 just like Ratchet was.

Y/N was found as a toddler close to Ratchet's garage. He was a toddler too at the time. Y/N was completely lost there with absolutely no info or history. Well, there was only one info found. Y/N had a letter that said 'Take care of her. Make sure she doesn't get kidnapped by Dr. Nefarious.'

Once Ratchet's adopted dad, Grimroth or Grim for short, found Y/N and read the letter, he took her in. He was confused why the evil doctor wanted her. Was that how Y/N's parents died or were they alive somewhere? No one knew.

When Grim took Y/N in, she was so shy and scared that she would hide behind Grim all the time. Grim understood of course Y/N. She had a very hard time accepting that her parents were dead or maybe alive somewhere, but they'll never return. Also Y/N was a human while people around were not.

When Y/N met Ratchet, she was scared. Ratchet was very kind and friendly to her. He was confused what she was once he met her, but then Grim explained. Even Y/N was a human, Ratchet finds her very cute or key word: adorable. Once Y/N warmed up to Ratchet, she finds him adorable. He looks a bit like a cat. Heck, he can even purr! Ratchet would let her touch his fur and ears. He would touch her hair and play with it.

That was years ago. The toddlers were now very young adults. Y/N helped Ratchet to become a Ranger. Clank became one as well. Sadly, Y/N wasn't comforable to fight against the bad guys. But sometimes, she would help them by working with Elaris. Ratchet and Clank worked together a lot when they're off. The Rangers loved having Y/N around. The shy human girl wasn't comforable at the beginning, but she warmed up to them. Qwark would be a creep and stalk that it scare Y/N badly. She would go to Ratchet for comfort. The Lombax was angry at Qwark for scaring his crush.

Right now, Y/N was taking a walk around Veldin outside. She was close by the garage. She was wearing shorts and a F/C tank top since it's a sunny day like always. Good that at least it can rain too in Veldin.

Ratchet was busy in the garage with who knows what. Clank was just reading.

Y/N was enjoying the walk, until a big shadow of a ship form hovered above Y/N and a claw appeared! Y/N looked behind her just in time to see it was Dr. Nefarious!

He controlled his claw machine and grabbed Y/N, causing her to gasp in shock. "Now, I got you, Y/N."

Y/N then screamed so loud in terror that Ratchet heard it. He dropped his wrench and ran towards the sound. Clank ran after him. The boys stopped once they saw Y/N.

"Let her go, Nefarious!" Ratchet said in anger.

"How about no?" Nefarious said with a evil smirk.

"H-Help!" Y/N shouted, feeling very scared that she even cried.

Then Nefarious flew off with crying and scared Y/N. Ratchet tried to free her by threwing his OmniWrench at Nefarious' claw, but it didn't work! His OmniWrench was like a boomerang that would come back to the owner if you threw it in a correct way. Good that Ratchet was skilled.

"Y/N! No!" Ratchet shouted, watching Nefarious flying away with crying Y/N.

Clank then walked up to Ratchet and placed his metalic hand on his shoulder. "Ratchet, we must take action now. I have a feeling that Nefarious will do bad things to Y/N."

Ratchet put on a serious face. "Let's go."

At Dr. Nefarious' Lab~

"L-Let me go!" Y/N cried while trying to get herself free from the chains. She was chained up against the cold metalic wall. She was not naked. Thank god.

"Oh, Y/N. I've been waiting all these years to kidnap you," Nefarious said while walking up to Y/N with his arms behind his back.

"W-What are you t-talking about?" Y/N still continued to struggle.

Nefarious pulled a evil smirk on his face. "I know your parents."

Y/N stopped struggling. That caught her attention. She was asking for a long time what happened to her parents. Where were they? Were they ok? Were they alive? "W-What?"

"I know your parents ever since you came into the world. And do you know where?" Nefarious asked with a evil smirk. He then leaned closer, causing Y/N to feel nervous and scared

"N-No."

"Here. In my lab!"

Y/N was shocked by the response. How in Qwark's name did Nefarious knew her parents! So for all these years, Nefarious knew the asnwer?!

"Your parents were patetic humans and your mother gave birth to you! Once you were a toddler, your parents sacrificed their lives to save you! I killed them and I was looking for you to finish my experiment!"

"W-What experiment?" Y/N was having a panic attack.

"To see if I can turn a human into a robot. In fact, I'll start now!" He then pulled out a needle that had a weird disgusting green serum in it.

"No!" Y/N screamed loud again, hoping that someone will come to the rescue. She doesn't want to get turned into a robot! It would be a painful experience!

Nefarious was about to inject Y/N, until... there was a explosion! Someone was here!

"Y/N!"

"Ratchet! Clank!"

Clank ran to the controlling room to free Y/N from the chains, while Ratchet fought against Nefarious. Y/N could only watch with hope if Ratchet would win. Nefarious caused problems all these years ever since he left Galactic Rangers. Yes, you heard it. He was once a member there. He was the expert of creating weapons and gadgets. But the whole team teased and bullied him, especially Qwark. The doctor that was once a kind and smart one, became crazy and insane that he became evil, wanting to take revenge.

Ratchet managed to push Nefarious off, causing the insane doctor to scream, but his flying ship rescued him and took him away, leaving the heroes there. Ratchet sighed in relief and Clank managed to turn off the chains.

Y/N fell on her knees on the cold metalic floor. She was shaking.

"Y/N..." Ratchet said and he walked over to her fast and got on his knees. He then pulled Y/N into his warm and lovely hug, causing Y/N to relax and hug him back.

Y/N whimpered as she hold into Ratchet for dear life.

"Shhhh. It's ok." Ratchet stroked her hair.

Clank stood next to Ratchet with a soft smile. He was glad to see his best friends ok.

At Veldin~

It's been a week now after Ratchet rescued Y/N. She's a lot calmer now. She noticed how Ratchet became very overprotective of her that he wouldn't leave her side. Y/N would blush everytime when Ratchet wrapped his furry arms around her, protecting her from anything. She would nuzzle up to him.

Right now at was nigth and Y/N was watching stars just outside the garage. She was wearing short nigth clothes since it's chill temperature. The temperature was around 20°C so better be in these clothes instead with long sleeves.

Y/N was enjoying it, until she heard footsteps. She looked over her shoulder and saw Ratchet. He was only wearing boxes. He was a Lombax and was a male (+ an adult) which it means that he can sleep shirtless.

"Hey, Y/N. What are you doing outside?" Ratchet asked and sat down next to her. Close.

"N-Nothing, Fuzzball. Just e-enjoying the stars." She felt shy.

Ratchet chuckled and hooks his fingers under her chin to make her look at him. She was blushing madly. "You know, you're very adorable when you're shy."

"H-Hey! I'm a-always shy," Y/N pouts cutely.

Ratchet smiled kindly and gently kissed her, causing Y/N's heart to beat fast. She then kissed him back. She was waiting for this for her whole life!

Then a minute later, they pulled away. Ratchet pressed his forehead against hers. "I love you so much, my shy girl."

"I love you too, Fuzzball." She didn't even stuttered.

I hope you enjoyed this first one shot! :)

The Reader will be a human or a Lombax. It's up to you. The requests will be accepted with plots.

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

I almost gave up. I keep chanting to myself: it’s a short game. Then a door is locked from the other side and I want to break my controller in half.

We’ve gone to Kashyyyk. I’m not sure why. (Just looked it up, there’s a Wookie we need to find named Truffle...or something.) We get here and there’s walkers. So we swim at super human speed to catch up to one and do a little Shadow of the Colossus up to the top. It’s cute. Inside they weren’t very clearly as to where to go. I got lost in room smaller than my bedroom. Whatever, we take over the walker. That’s kind of cool. It’s not piloting Metal Gear Rex in a dual with Metal Gear Ray cool--but it’s neat. They basically put us on a track so you can’t mess up, or glitch out.

I remember this area from an early trailer. It’s where I first saw Storm Troopers have healthbars (HP) and I wrote the game off immediately. (I was right to do so.) Early in the level I got jumped by a spider and died. I really thought about just putting the game down and never looking back. But I pushed myself forward. I mean, what would my fans think? Answer is nothing. Cause I don’t have any.

Moving forward, I had to fight a lot and got pissed off a lot. I’ve decided I hate the combat. Cal loses all momentum when he attacks. He takes forever to reset after swinging the saber or finishing a combo. And if you get knocked down, get ready to receive a few cheap shots while he’s sluggish animation fails to appreciate he’s surrounded by five heavily armed murderers.

Interestingly, the game has put me in a Star Wars-y mood. I’ve been watching the prequel trilogy (which is better than the original trilogy: fight me). And I’m highly motivated to play some of the Star Wars games I snagged over Xmas. I may jump into Republic Commando.

Anyway, we meet Saw Gerrera. It’s cool that he’s got the Rogue One likeness. Did they use dude’s voice? Need to check. Anyway, he wants help resisting the empire and freeing the Wookies that have been enslaved. In the process, we meet a K unit, like K-2S0 from Rogue One (he’s my favorite droid...sorry R2). Strangely, this thing is presented as a terrifying enemy when my light saber should swipe through him like a hot knife through a thin slice of butter. But then again, this game has HP--so fuck it. It’s actually a challenging enemy.

I don’t get parrying. Can I parry. Seems like sometimes I parry? I can knock lasers back at shooters like a fother mucker, but I can’t seem to figure out the parrying of melee soldiers. It’s annoying, especially when the combat isn’t that good anyway. I should just play Dynasty Warriors and pretend it’s droids.

Wait...Star Wars: Jedi Warriors by Omega Force...it needs to happen.

I got lost a lot more in this level. It’s much more twisty with lots of “The door is locked from the other side” bullshit. I really didn’t have fun. In the end, Truffle, or whatever his name is, isn’t even here and we just head back to the other planet: Zeffo.

WTF?

At Zeffo, you have to find a new temple that all the tech in the galaxy couldn’t find before hand. It’s amazing what you find when you don’t find what you’re looking for cause you don’t need it. BUT they pull out some bullshit here. The new temple is way off far from the landing dock. I mean, what’s a 20 minute hike when you’ve flown light years? But to get to the path that takes you to the knew area, you have to retread nearly half the previous level.

WOW.

Like, Crash Bandicoot for PS1 re-used assets and challenges to get 20+ levels, that’s the nature of that game. But to force the player to replay a whole level and then being like, “Congrats, we gave you more length” that’s BS. Uncharted 1 actually pulled this bullshit, and it wasn’t respectable then either.

This comes back to level design and what they’re trying to do with Jedi: Fallen Order. Is it an open exploration game, or is it a focused experience? I think Open is what they want to be, but they’re too controlling. I feel, after playing Kashyyyk, that there’s some some Ratchet and Clank vibes here. And the best Ratchet and Clank levels are more open, and are about exploring.

I think each planet/level should be an ongoing warzone. Your ship lands at the center of the map, and you’re free to explore in most directions. You can still create some linearity that becomes more open once shortcuts are found, Every planet has a main mission (or a few) as well as side quests. You can also help the local forces or just do your own thing. This can have an effect. Like if I help a squad take a communications tower, Imperial forces aren’t replenished as quickly. Taking certain point prevents enemies from spawning in highly traversed areas.

Instead, they’ve made windy paths with contrived obstacles to add minutes and hours onto a game that doesn’t have much to offer besides pretty graphics and a great soundtrack. For some, that’s enough: and I’m glad they’ve gotten their money’s worth.

Also, WTF: I’ve returned to Zeffo and Cere says something. I get a dialog choice. It’s my first one in the game. Why? I mean, why give me a choice if it’s not gonna be a regular thing?

It was just weird.

Lastly: the Wookies look pretty bad.

99% of this game looks amazing, so it’s weird to have “bad wookies”. I see what they were trying to do, making them appear covered in hair. But the texture of the hair doesn’t look like hair. Looks like brown seaweed. They look like muddy plant people.

I think it’s the texture. The large strands of hair should be made up of tiny strands of hair, but these look like the thick clumps of hair are single strands, making it weird to look at.  I think they should have gone with a more solid model, draw on more strands, and just allow for a few strands to stick out here and there.

Put realistic textures on this guy and I think it would have played better:

[bxebxee]

and what a way to go

Note: written for @jeonalis because i love my college girl <3 Based on THIS THING. Names of gadgets and widgets and places and things cheerfully borrowed from all the nerd stuff I used to love many years ago. Mostly Ratchet and Clank though. I think there was also an unintentional fight club reference, but i’ve never seen the movie and have no desire to do so either. Points if you spot all the random nerd stuff I put in there.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Genre: Crack, Sci-Fi, Smut Lite (Diet Smut a.k.a. Lazy Smut) Warnings: it’s crack. it’s (bad, lazy) porn. Ah, actually there’s some physical violence. Word Count: 4225 Rating: BC, for bad crack.

*

“I want you to hit me as hard as you can,” you tell Jungkook.

“Excuse me?” he splutters.

“You heard the woman,” Jimin eggs him on.

“Hit me,” you dare.

*

Good entertainment is hard to come by in the Year of Our Lord 3333. Jungkook warily orders his holo-projector to turn off the hyper-realistic porn of two human women tribbing because it’s a re-run, and he’s used up his free trial of the sensory package. Somehow actually smelling the sex and experiencing mild neuro-stimulating jolts at key points of the adult film really made the whole porn watching experience better. Anything less was just depressing. 

“Did you shut that shit off?” Yoongi asks from outside Jungkook’s bedroom. The door being shut is a clear indication that Masturbatory Events were happening, so the older human boy has learned to not even bother knocking. 

Jungkook heaves a sigh because he doesn’t even have a boner. “Yeah,” he answers glumly. 

“Is your junk tucked in?” 

“It wasn’t out to begin with.” 

The bedroom door opens with a force that only comes from a person seeking to pick a fight. Yoongi frowns at Jungkook’s unmoving, prone figure. “You do know that your holo-projector is still connected to the amplifier downstairs, right?” 

Jungkook bolts out of his bed, face drawn into a comically horrified picture of contrition and shame. “Uh...” And Yoongi’s girlfriend was over too. He’s dead. More than dead. Deader than dead. 

“Lucky for you my girlfriend found it hot and a little bit funny, but seriously...” 

This is mortifying, and Jungkook swears he needs to move out as soon as possible - except he’s still broke and fixing hovercrafts from time to time wasn’t any way to make a steady living. 

“Sorry,” he grimaces, and scratches the back of his head with a sigh. “I’ll... leave you guys to it then.” (He tries his best not to look her in the eye when she leaves. She fucking waves though. Weird.) 

It is 127% because of boredom that he finds himself “borrowing” (read: taking without consent) Yoongi’s mobile airship for the express purpose of hyperwarping to Abraxas-II for a night of wild, youthful revelry. Much to his roommate-slash-employer’s dismay, Jungkook has no qualms about contributing to the statistics of bored young human boys wreaking havoc across the galaxy. If not now, then when? Humans did have one of the lowest life expectancies around, and he wasn’t going to wait until he was pushing fifty-five and seeking cryo-regenification to have a little fun. 

“Warning, impending destruction of Abraxas-II,” the Computer tells him twenty minutes into hyperwarp. “Recalculating.” 

What the actual fuck. Jungkook takes out his limited edition communicator designed in the tradition of old-school, earth-class cellular devices from the early 21st century. Thankfully he still has signal. At least the UMN was doing something good for the galaxy. 

BREAKING: LARGE METEOR IMPACT TO DESTROY “SIN PLANET” ABRAXAS-II - says the headlines. Almost immediately, there are op-ed interviews from Voths and Cragmites who loved to, colloquially speaking, talk shit about everyone else - especially anyone else having fun. Jungkook suspects it’s not some freak meteor because the live feed of the impending destruction shows the “meteor” looks a lot like an intentional laser beam coming from an ominous-looking ship. 

“Changing course to Abraxas-X,” the Computer lets him know in a cheery voice. “Estimated time of arrival: seventeen minutes.”

“Uh, Computer, I think I’d rather just go home,” Jungkook tells the ship’s control mainframe. 

“Unable to execute command. Due to the projected debris fallout from Abraxas-II’s destruction, all routes back to HOME are closed until further notice from the Federation. We Apologize For The Inconvenience.” 

Yoongi will kill him for real this time. 

*

“Did you hear? It’s Abraxas-II this time,” Jimin remarks, wrapping his hand in bandages for the fight tonight. As his “fling for the night” you were allowed in the locker rooms by a creepy looking Agorian guard. 

You roll your eyes because of course you heard about the “meteor” about to destroy another planet. The Federation really needed to get their act together. And where was Captain Qwark when you needed him? 

“Don’t get distracted, baby boy,” you smirk, completely ignoring his question in favor of sticking to a topic you actually cared about - money. “Tonight is a toss-up.” 

You and Jimin played dirty when it came to Abraxas-X’s infamous underground fighting cages. It was a pretty simple scam: Jimin fought based on a pre-determined strategy and you either bet for or against him depending on how it was supposed to go. Sometimes it made more sense to dope up on nanotech painkilers and lose on purpose, and you made sure to bet high and reckless on those days. 

Win or lose, you and Jimin always made sure to come out on top. Sometimes though, Jimin faced odd toss-ups like the one for tonight, V, and you had to bet carefully based on Jimin’s condition. 

“I think it’ll be a win for tonight,” Jimin decides, handing you the vial of unused nanotech. And herein lie the loophole that allowed for your cute little scam: officials only checked the winners to see who’s doping. Never the losers. This made it easy for Jimin to inject, inhale, and rub as much nano into his system on Lose Nights so that he could take a beating and come out normal the next morning. 

“If you say so,” you hum, “And be safe.” 

The Agorian guard opens the door, and Jimin pulls you into a kiss fit for the pay-per-view holo-channels. “Fight’s starting soon, lovebirds.” 

“Thanks for the hot sex, baby,” you laugh at a smirking Jimin, waving as you exit. “I’ll be cheering for you.”

*

Jungkook nearly pisses his pants when he gets to Abraxas-X because it’s the furthest thing from Abraxas-II. For one, it’s fucking cold and snowing, unlike Abraxas-II’s modulated temperature system where it was always tropical year round. He’s ridiculously under-dressed for this climate, but that doesn’t mean he can afford to planet hop until he gets somewhere warmer. He’s running out of hyperwarp fuel, and his communicator’s battery is nearly dead. 

For another, it’s pretty much deserted along the landing site in a scary, dystopian kind of way. 

“Oh fuck me,” he says, but it sounds more like, “Oh-hoh, fuc-c-c-ck, m-me-hee,” because his teeth clack from the cold. 

He has a good seven percent battery left which he uses to shiver his way towards civilization. The first group of parka-adorned humanoids he enounters looks at him as if he’s a fucking Cragmite. 

“What’s up,” Jungkook smiles in what he hopes to be something more winsome and not pained. “Hey, can you guys direct me to the closest Gadgetron vendor? My communicator is about to die.” 

Parka One points to a cave with a fading sign that reads COLOSSEUM, as if the anguished shouts and curses weren’t frightening enough.

“I don’t know if they sell communicators though,” Parka Two tell him. “The guy’s an ex-RYNO dealer.” 

What the fuck was this planet even? 

“Th-thank you.” Jungkook prays it’s warmer inside. 

*

“No Foul.”

You glare at the referee who refuses to call a foul on that shout. That V fighter asshole is very good at getting in potshots that look legal, and you don’t like it one bit. Jimin is getting his ass handed to him on a rusty copper platter, and you’re more than a little pissed off that you just bet a whole week’s income on this. 

V, or whatever his fucking name was, actually has the nerve to wink at you. Apparently he thinks you’re Jimin’s fuck toy, and he’s trying to use playground tactics to piss off your “boyfriend” into making mistakes in the ring. Well, the joke is on you because neither Jimin nor you cared two shits about taunting, and Jimin was still losing. 

Your gaze shifts to your partner in crime who shakes his head. He should have taken the fucking nano. 

You nod slowly while tucking your hair behind your left ear and blink three, distinct times. The message is there: Next round, submission, tap out. It would be a loss for tonight, but at least Jimin wouldn’t be too injured. 

In a fit of annoyance you leave the crowd and make your way towards the exit. 

“You don’t accept bolts?” comes an incredulous voice by the entrance next to Jeff, the Gadgetron vendor. “How could you possibly not accept bolts?” 

“Sorry, my sexy, muscular, human macho man,” Jeff purrs, “It’s either munny, gil, or credits. I don’t live in the stone ages of bolts.” 

You blink when you see a human man fuming at the way Jeff condescendingly refuses to sell him a communicator battery pack. Humans were rare in these parts, so you’re a little taken aback to see one standing at the entrance of the Colosseum wearing nothing but a thin t-shirt and a pair of black pants that looked like they were painted onto his skin. 

“My friend, no- my boss is going to kill me unless I get in touch with him, and I literally only have three percent battery. This Abraxas-II bullshit is really-” 

“Oh honey, everyone is inconvenienced by Abraxas-II,” Jeff smiles, knowing a wallet when he sees one. 

Unfortunately for Jeff, you also know a wallet when you see one too, and that guy with the nice thighs looks like he could do some serious damage in the ring. You want him - for your scam, of course. 

“Oh Jeff,” you call out in sing-song voice, hastily shrugging off your parka and pulling down your top. 

“Whaddya want?” 

“A communicator battery pack,” you answer with a cute smile and a wink in the human guy’s direction. 

“Five hundred credits-”

You give him a long look. “Jeff.”

“Abraxas-II-”

“Don’t,” you warn, balling your fist. 

“Two hundred,” he replies meekly, and you pay him using your card. 

You accept the battery pack and promptly hand it over to the human who’s looking at you in awe. Hook, line, and sinker. And for your next act, you turn away saucily and head for the locker rooms, even though that’s exactly where you came from. You’re pretty sure the pretty boy wouldn’t notice. 

“Hey wait,” comes his voice, and you can’t help but to smile because it’s all so predictable. “Wait, what’s your name?” 

“Like that’s important,” you laugh, shooting him a flirtatious look. “You got your battery. Go make your call.” 

You walk into the crowds once more just in time to see Jimin tap out with a sour look on his face. He looks surprised to see you still here because he thought you would have just left. 

“What the hell is this place?” the human next to you exhales, looking around in awe. 

“Welcome to the Pits of Abraxas-X,” you grin. “People beat each other up here for money.” As if it weren’t obvious. 

“Well fuck.”

*

“Jungkook, Jimin. Jimin, Jungkook,” you make the introductions in a careless fashion as Jimin ices his bruises. You hand him a vial of nano with a frown. 

“Nice to meet you,” Jungkook mutters, eyeing Jimin’s black eye warily. 

“Yeah, whatever,” you brush the niceties aside, “Now that we all know each other and seeing as we’re all in the at-least-fifty-percent-human club, let’s get down to business.” 

“Wait what?” Jungkook frowns, looking at you with a giant question mark on his face. He only followed you in here because he thought you were hot and maybe (just maybe) on the slim chance that you might blow him in some seedy locker room. 

“First of all, you owe me two hundred credits plus tax,” you inform Jungkook who looks like he swallowed a lemon. “Second of all, if you came in here in an airship, you’ll need hyperwarp fuel, which is expensive as fuck on this planet.” 

Jungkook gulps. 

“Oh, unless your boss can wire you two thousand credits of course,” you smile sweetly. 

“Two Thousand,” Jungkook hiccups. 

“Lucky for you I have a plan,” you continue, ignoring the way Jimin groans. “My fighter is going to be out of commission for the pits until the nano’s out of his system, and I’m already in the negatives for this week.” 

“So what’s your plan?” Jungkook asks, already getting a sense as to where this is going. 

“You are the plan, Jungkook,” you tell him, “I need you to play substitute for Jimin for about a week. Can you do that?”

And even you ask him, you’re not really asking him. You’re practically ordering Jungkook to be Jimin’s substitute. The “or else” doesn’t even need to be said because the guy has no other options. He’s stranded here anyway, in desperate need of cash to escape and already two hundred credits in debt with yours truly. 

“I don’t know how to fight,” he sighs glumly, “I’m gonna get beat up a lot, huh?” 

Your gaze drifts to his thighs and his biceps. “Jungkook, I think with a little training you should be okay. But yeah, you’re going to get wailed on.” 

He looks terrified so you amend your statement. “Ah, you’re not going to feel any of it though. You just have to act like you’re in pain.” 

“What?” he gasps. 

You hold up a fresh bottle of nano. “I love biotechnology and messing around with this shit,” you giggle, “Everyone reacts differently to nano, but for humans, it’s found to be particularly good at repairing physical damage. That’s why it’s illegal in most fighting communities.” 

Jungkook lets out a small, choked sound because not only was nano injections illegal in “fighting communities,” this shit was also illegal in five hundredish out of six hundredish planets in the Federation. Whole Planets have outlawed this substance, including his home world. 

“It’s safe,” you guess, “From my experience.” 

And Jungkook does not know what to say because it’s either get beat up by alien uglies without nano, or get beat up with nano. Yoongi would probably tell him to “just say no to drugs” but Yoongi wasn’t the one facing a just-under-five-foot terror in the shape of a human girl. 

“How can I trust you?” he asks, attempting to sound cool. 

And you really have to laugh because he’s too cute. “You don’t get out very much, do you?” you smirk, shaking the tube of nano before injecting it straight into a vein in your forearm. 

“Here we go,” Jimin snorts, watching the two of you share in Prime Banter. Jungkook almost forgot the older human man was even there. 

You let the nano filter through your system, and it’s quick because you’ve done it so many times now. “I want you to hit me as hard as you can,” you tell Jungkook. 

“Excuse me?” he splutters. 

“You heard the woman,” Jimin eggs him on. 

“Hit me,” you dare. 

“Wha- I- I can’t hit a girl!” Jungkook finally spits out. 

“Cute,” Jimin rolls his eyes. “If you won’t, I will.” 

And Jungkook, bless that boy, actually steps in between you and Jimin. “No, dude,” he says in his best strongman voice. “It’s not right.” 

“She has a million little robot things currently filling up her entire body waiting to repair even the slightest bit of damage,” Jimin explains as if he’s talking to a little kid. 

“She is right here,” you remind the boys, tapping Jungkook’s shoulder. He turns around and you promptly wack him across the face. “And she is still waiting for that hit, Jungkook.” 

Jungkook to his credit really doesn’t like getting physical. He was kind of lying when he said he didn’t fight because he did learn some human fighting techniques growing up, and he could hold his own in a bar brawl. But that was always up against human fighters, never stronger, weirder aliens that could potentially kill him. 

You piss him off though. He realizes belatedly that you probably paid for his battery pack on purpose, and he’s beyond annoyed because if there’s one thing he hates, it’s being used.

“You wanna get hit so bad?” he challenges through gritted teeth, and you nod. 

“Go for it, baby,” you tease, crooking your finger in a crude, pseudo-sexual gesture. “Give me your best shot-” 

Jungkook steps back, engaging in a standard stance and rears his leg up to kick you square in chin. The force of the blow has you slamming into the lockers, the loud metallic sound ringing through the cramped space. You’re dizzy and disoriented, but you don’t feel a damn thing other than excited. 

“Oh,” you sigh, mouth curving into a satisfied smile, “Oh, fuck, you’re good.” 

Jungkook doesn’t have a damn clue what to say. 

*

Jimin takes a day to teach him how to play Wounded Warrior in the pits, and you take another day to teach him the ins and outs of Coliseum etiquette, frequently encountered alien species, and about Abraxas-X in general. 

Jungkook is thankful that Yoongi is more worried about him being stranded on a foreign planet rather than angry at his missing mobile airship. 

“Sorry,” Jungkook apologizes for the fifth time. “I really, really fucked up.” 

Yoongi doesn’t disagree. “Yeah, but you’re safe. And you’ll find a way of getting back. Just don’t die.” 

“I’ll try my best,” Jungkook sighs, depressed out of his mind when he hangs up. His first fight is tonight, and while you’ve gone over the plan with him a million times, he still can’t get rid of the jittery feeling that he’s going to ruin everything. 

“You’re actually perfect, you know,” you tell Jungkook. “See, you look really built and like you’d totally kick everyone’s asses. And they’re gonna bet that way. But you’re going to lose, Jungkook. You’re going to take the hits and get on the ground.” 

“Can’t wait,” he deadpans. 

“Good,” you smile cheerfully, ignoring his willful attempts to be sullen, “Because my estimations show that we’re going to make about five hundred credits tonight.” 

Jungkook whips his head towards you from the news. Five hundred? that only meant four nights of this could lead to his freedom. 

“Don’t get too excited, champ,” you tell him as you pat him on the shoulder. “It’s five hundred divided by three.” 

“Three?” 

“Jimin’s cut of course.” You don’t leave your friends out of a cut, even if he did fuck things up with V. 

Jungkook looks like he might cry. 

*

The first thing Jungkook notices about the ring is that it smells bad. It smells like the time when Yoongi’s Markazian ex-girlfriend’s cat-looking pet climbed into the exhaust vent of their repair shop and never came back out. They had searched, and searched for that annoying little beast, and they finally found it from the stench of the rotting corpse. 

Likewise, it smelled like rotting organisms here. 

Jungkook wants to throw up from the smell and from the nerves. The nano is in his system, and it feel kind of itchy and akin to someone tickling him from the inside. His opponent is an eight-feet tall Agorian boxer. Fuck Everything. 

“You can do it, sexy!” you shout from the crowd, playing your part of adoring pit fangirl. The funny thing is that you’re not the only one yelling these sentiments to him. There are other pit girls screaming their love for Jungkook even though this is his literal first time making an appearance. 

To be completely honest, you didn’t blame them one bit. 

The horn sounds, and the Agorian charges at Jungkook. And instead of cowering, Jungkook charges right back, much to your surprise. 

“Oh,” you gasp, eyes widening when he draws first blood, using the same kick he used to hit you with on the Agorian. 

Jungkook’s opponent is unfazed, and sends a killer right hook at Jungkook’s side. The blow sounds painful and like it hit a bone from the nasty crunching sound. You can see Jungkook’s confusion because he heard the sound, and he felt the force from the blow, but there was also a distinct lack of pain. 

The surprise fades nearly instantaneously and you only notice it because you were looking for a flaw in his acting skills. Jungkook launches into the routine Jimin trained him on - rolling on the floor in pain. The referee blows his whistle and it’s all over. 

The fangirls mope around you. 

“It’s his first time,” one of them says. 

“Yeah,” another one agrees. 

“He’ll get better. He has to. I mean look at him.” 

You smirk when you see the referee shake his head and signal to the official that this match is over by TKO. Keep dreaming girls, you think. This is your house. 

*

“Payday,” you smile, handing over Jungkook’s cut of the winnings. 

Jungkook’s eyes go wide at the number. All that for taking a punch to his ribs? 

“Good job out there,” you compliment. “Couldn’t have done it without you.” 

Jungkook wonders if he should even feel proud of this, but it does feel nice to have done something to work towards a goal. 

“I have to say I was surprised though,” you comment, “I didn’t think you’d charge at Ortax the Merciless like that.” 

“Just reflex,” Jungkook mutters shyly. He doesn’t really know why he did it either. 

You wink, and watch as Jungkook’s ears go red in front of you. “It was a nice touch. Got the bets going up in your favor for a short while.” You pause, wondering if you say the next thing on your mind for all of three seconds before deciding that life was too short to play it safe. “It was fucking sexy.” 

Jungkook blinks owlishly. 

“Goodnight handsome. Take your vitamins.” 

*

Jungkook continues the losing for two more days until he’s matched up with V. 

You frown at the match up because you can’t tell what kind of alien V is because he looks so humanoid, but he’s not completely homosapiens either. His eyes and reflexes give everything away. 

“You have to win this one,” you tell him point blank. 

“Are you nuts?” 

You shake your head. “You have to. We lost the shock factor of people betting for you. Now people are going to bet against you, and even if you lose it’s not going to make a difference money-wise. You have to win for us to collect the winnings from tonight.” 

Jungkook swallows. “That means no nano.” 

“Nope,” you confirm. “You go in cold. And you have to win.” 

“Gee, thanks for not putting any pressure on me,” Jungkook sighs. 

You don’t have the luxury of feeling bad because your rent is kind of past due. “Jungkook, let me put it this way,” you start, “If you win, that means you’ll probably have enough money to back to your home planet.” 

“Where Yoongi will murder me,” Jungkook nods. He’s pouting again. 

Your heart warms at how his expression is in direct contrast to how his body looks cut up and bruised from the fights he’s had in the past few days. Jungkook’s handsome, baby face is so incredibly juxtaposed on his toned fighter’s body in the best way possible. 

“You’ll get another thing if you win,” you start, biting your lip and sitting down next to him. 

“What?” 

“I’ll kiss your boo-boos better,” you mutter into his ear. It’s a come-on, obviously. 

Jungkook swallows thickly when he sees your suggestive expression. “Like a blowjob?” he asks. 

“Yes,” you answer, opting for simplicity. 

*

Jungkook wins.

*

Jimin is not expecting this at all. He’s finally recovered from his fight with V, and after getting a text announcing Jungkook’s victory, he supposes a little congratulations is in order for the youngest in your group of scammers. Jimin breaks out the Ogre Killer from his stash of Serious Liquors, and makes his way towards the locker rooms where Jungkook and you would no doubt be high-fiving it up. 

He sees the Agorian guards with their ears pressed against the door when he arrives. 

“Uh-”

“Can you shut up?” Agorian A hisses, ear pressed firmly on the metal. 

“Fuck, I just heard her slurp,” Agorian B giggles. 

Agorian A glares at Jimin. “I missed the slurp because of you.” 

“Slurp?” Jimin questions. Without a word, they unlock the door for Jimin to enter, and he sees you on kneeling on the floor with a mouthful of Jungkook’s dick. 

The younger man’s attention is entirely focused on you, but you manage to make a sideways eye-contact with Jimin. 

“Shut the door,” Jimin orders, glaring at the guards. 

Jungkook gasps when he hears Jimin’s voice, but you pull him back to concentrate on you when you pull away to suck at the tip of his penis. 

“Jungkook was really good today,” you laugh, laving your tongue against the underside of his cock. “He beat V.” 

“So I heard,” Jimin replies, taking a seat on a bench and staring at the image in front of him. “Just to clarify, you texted me so that I could watch you suck his dick, correct?” 

“Correct,” you answer. 

“Correct? What the fuck?” Jungkook moans. You suck him in deep and let him hit the back of your throat. And just to add a little spice, you fake a gag. “Fuck!”

You make him cum in about sixty seconds. 

*

*

*

(Later: “What do you mean you’re staying in Abraxas-X?” Yoongi hisses over speaker. He calms down only marginally after Jungkook tell him he just wired him money for the mobile airship. That wasn’t even the point? This Kid!)

[thebluesideofthemoon]

The Wall #49: SHEEP AND WOLVES

Welcome everybody to another entry of The Wall. On this week... your mom! Heh. Oh, I wish- I'm sure she's a wonderful lady. I said I was going to review Batman v. Superman but... eh, I then kind of lost interest and heat after a while- besides, the movie still sucks balls, so it's not like anything's changed. No, this week's review takes us on another stop of our international animated tour- Russia! The big mother of all cold herself, Mother Russia blessed us with this animated outing that was so good that it didn't get imported to the States. "Why might that be?" you're probably asking yourself, well I'll answer that right now: ... I HAVE NO IDEA! Maybe it was some sort of communication error (which wouldn't make sense as this movie has a fully dubbed English version, so... I 'unno), maybe they changed their minds at the last minute, or maybe because it's so mind-meltingly awful that they pulled the plug on its release before the studio would embarrass itself. Considering my last review it may be easy to assume that anything I would review afterwards would automatically be less positive. That may be true, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't have good things to say about it- hell, last week I saw one of my favorite movies this year (which I'll review later), and I've been itching to gush about it here. But no, I'm going to talk about Sheep and Wolves instead because, what better way to transition into my Worst Movies of 2016 by going from one of the best animated movies of the year to one of the absolute worst? Let's dive in, why don't we~?

(Music: Undertale- CORE)

I don't mean to be disrespectful, I like to think I'm a nice person and I will give anyone a chance, unless you’re Zack Snyder, or David S. Goyer, or Warner Bros., in which case you can piss off any day now. So when I write the things I’m going to write, I don’t mean this as just me trying to be mean, but as a way to try and help a small studio like the one that made this movie understand why your product doesn’t work, so I will try to be as cold and clinical as I can to explain just what is wrong with this movie. But first the plot, and you might want to sit down for this one.

In this movie we have a wolf named Grey (voiced by Tom Felton. Yes, THAT Tom Felton) who is a goofy but kind wolf who wants to live life as a carefree spirit, that is until he crosses the path of a big bad wolf named Ragear (voiced by Rich Orlow, whom I’ve never heard of) who is adamant to become the new leader of their wolf pack since their current leader Magra (voiced by Jim Cummings. Yes, THAT one, too.). However, Ragear gets shut down by Magra by telling him that he will not be ascended to be leader of the pack unless he faces off in a duel with another wolf, who just so happens to be Grey. Grey steps up to the challenge and they’re due to fight in three days to see who is more fit to run the wolf pack. Meanwhile, Grey faces a bit of problem when a surprise he had planned turns out to dash the dreams of his girlfriend, Bianca (voiced by Ruby Rose. Yes, THAT- I’m not going to keep this gag going or we’ll be here all day), who thought Grey was going to ask for her hand (paw?) in marriage. She accuses him of being very immature and in desperate need of change. Trying to find a way to change, Grey stumbles into this caravan full of gypsies and he talks to their leader(?) named Mami (I don’t know who she’s voiced by) who gives Grey this potion to help him change, but things go south when Grey gets turned into a sheep and is not only unwelcome, but hunted down by the wolves due to sheep being their prey. So he runs away and ends up getting knocked out, only to wake up in the sheep village. He’s being taken care of by an ewe named Lyra (China Anne McClain), while being suspected of by this skeptic sheep named Zico (Ross Maraquand) who questions his whereabouts and goes on to find clues about this new mysterious sheep that just showed up in their home. Grey believes that he’s in a bad dream but then decides to blend in once he starts meeting the sheep folk. Meanwhile, Ragear becomes impatient by Magra and his ban to keep them from hunting prey like wolves (which for this universe doesn’t really make much sense), so instead of waiting for his duel like Magra ordered, he just kills Magra and ends up taking the position as the wolves’ leader and wants to lead the wolves to hunt for the sheep so they can eat… well, like wolves. Grey discovers this and now wants to protect the sheep from this possible massacre, while it becomes hard for him to keep his true identity intact with his new kin. How will all of this be resolved?

I don’t take this long trying to give a simple plot synopsis, but I wanted to break down this entire setup to give you a hint as to what’s wrong with this movie. If you want me to sum this movie up really quickly it’s just yet another “fish out of water” story, and with a twist that isn’t even that unique to this kind of movie. The movie is a bizarre combination of both Shrek 2 and Brother Bear in terms of plot, but it’s nowhere near as funny as the former, nor (while flawed) as engaging as the latter, and while I have serious problems with Brother Bear I can tell you it pulled this story off a LOT better than Sheep and Wolves.

Since I’m going to dip into my issues with this movie (which is a LOT of them) I may as well get my positives with the movie out of the way, because they’re very minimal- it’s actually just one: the movie is really pretty. While it’s pretty obvious that this is a low-budget movie thanks to the very small amount of environments featured in the movie, not to mention that just like Sing it shamelessly copy-and-pastes characters and shots everywhere, the scenery of the movie actually manages to be pretty stunning. I like how the environments look, they’re vividly-detailed, very colorful, and the lighting also manages to look really good, especially when they stand out against things like grass or the fur on the wolves. The animation itself is also not bad. It’s far more lively than something like, say, Ratchet and Clank, and it has an art style that suits the animation better than a movie like The Wild Life. Even though I have HUGE issues with the character design, they managed to make a really appealing-looking movie and I do think that’s something that deserves some serious credit. It’s obvious to me that the people working on this movie have some good talent in their hands, and I’m saying this because I stop being nice right here. Because the problems with this movie are far too many for me to recommend this as something anyone reading this should watch.

Let’s start with the character designs. While the general look of the movie is really appealing and colorful, the actual designs of the characters leave a lot to be desired. There’s no real better way for me to say this, but the characters all look like how a middle-school furry artist would draw his furry wolf OCs (original characters, for those of you that don’t know) when first starting on DeviantART. They’re far more humanoid than anthropomorphic, which really stands out with characters that have more stylized and cartoony designs. It’s almost as if the characters were all designed by completely different artists, however this is an approach that worked in its favor in a movie like Secret Life of Pets, but here they stick out like a sore thumb. All the wolves are top-heavy and just look ridiculous when they run on all fours. I also had this same problem with Alpha and Omega six years ago (funny how they’re both movies about wolves), but the hair is really off-putting. Most of the wolves have pretty much anime hairstyles which just look distracting and out of place. This is really noticeable on a character like Bianca who basically looks like a human chick that just so happens to be cosplaying as a wolf. With the sheep this gets even more bizarre, as there are sheep who clearly look like anthropomorphized sheep, standing right next to sheep that have more human-like features that are kind of distracting, NEXT to other sheep who just look like they’re a human and sheep that probably fused together like in The Fly. Again, it’s highly distracting because they’re not anthropomorphic like the characters from Sing or Zootopia, and yet they’re also not animal enough to be like the animals from The Secret Life of Pets or even The Wild Life. It’s like they’re stuck in this strange uncanny valley of anthropomorphism and it’s kind of off-putting to watch. Mami is the only one who manages to make this work, though it probably helps that she’s hardly in the movie. Grey looks alright by all standards, except for his dumb Emo Peter Parker haircut.

From what I’m sure you can gather I’ve said about the story, it’s pretty much also copied and pasted from… anywhere else. It combines traits of Shrek 2, Brother Bear, The Lion King, too many romantic comedies to count, Kung Fu Panda 3, Shark Tale (another disaster full of clichés and off-putting character design)- it borrows so liberally from other movies that it even borrows their flaws as well. Shark Tale needs no explanation, it has the dopey character who is in love but cannot spit it out because God help him “he’s just awkward” (oh please), it also borrows a problem unique to a movie I reviewed not too long ago, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Movie, in which it is full of really annoying cartoony sound effects that get really, really fast. By the way, I said this movie ripped off The Lion King (why on Earth do we have TWO animated movies that came out in 2016 that thought this was a good idea?) and it does so in the Magra’s death scene. Ragear shoves him off the cliff in a way that’s not too dissimilar to Scar throwing Mufasa into the wildebeests. It doesn’t help that both just so happen to have a character voiced by Jim Cummings, which makes the resemblance even more obvious.

Though speaking of terrible sounds, the voice acting isn’t that great. I mean sure, you have people like Jim Cummings who would sound awesome if they even just read the phonebook, but much like Morgan Freeman in Ben-Hur, he’s not doing anything new. Tom Felton… I have NO idea what the hell he’s doing, it’s like he’s trying to sound American and fail horribly at it, but he’s at least trying. Ruby Rose just straight up did not care about this movie at all, she could not sound any more disinterested if she tried, which isn’t only a serious problem because it just sounds bad it also makes her character come across as really uncaring and self-centered, which becomes a MAJOR problem thanks to one particular scene from the movie that I’ll get to. Believe me, I will. Still, this is pretty bad- it’s almost as if the voice actors weren’t allowed to be given a second take or something like that.

But what’s even worse than the voice acting is the score. I’ve complimented good scores before and lambasted bad ones like Accidental Love, for example. It had a score that was highly annoying, bouncy, and would never shut up. It was trying to be a “whacky, silly” score that instead of trying to get you to laugh it only made you cringe. So yes, an overly-goofy score is one issue but thanks to this movie the opposite is also true. This movie has a score that is far more surprisingly dramatic and intense than you would think which gives me the impression that this movie is really trying to get me to take it seriously… and this is the same movie that has a Rocky-style montage of a character trying to give themselves a concussion. AND FAILING AT IT. Sure, that’s meant to be the joke, but this is much less justifiable in countless scenes of something dramatic happening only for it to get cut-off by some awkwardly-inserted comic relief. Oh God, it’s like Epic all over again.

The absolute worst part about this movie is the characters. I’m not going to spend much time on them because I could write an entire essay on just what’s wrong with this cast, and this review is getting really long as it is. So I’ll say this, they vary from being really stupid, to being really annoying, to all-around unpleasant. Grey is kind of a goofball, but other than that he’s just your generic main character and he’s one of the better characters. His best friend sheep who is lovestruck cannot say a word to her about his feelings to save his life, which is not just an awful cliché in and of itself, but his voice is really annoying and her never shuts up. The big bad Ragear is clumsy and gets beaten up a lot, so it’s pretty much impossible to take him seriously as a credible threat and the only time he succeeds at anything it’s simply because the plot just felt like it needed to keep going. Lyra is your generic “nice girl” type who pretty much has no personality aside from, well, being nice, except for one particular scene where she chews out Grey for giving her little brother, Shia, the influence to have him run off from the sheep village to fight off wolves himself, and this happened AFTER Grey saves his life as well as a scene in the movie where she scolds her little brother for being an irresponsible little shit who doesn’t listen to anybody. And Shia, oh I despise him. Not only does he have a really annoying voice and attitude, he’s one of those characters that should have died far sooner than he does (which is never- spoiler alert) because he does anything BUT listen to someone who’s trying to do nothing but HELP HIM. He’s by far one of the most irritating characters I’ve seen in any movie this year- he’s up there with Steel from Max Steel, The Enchantress from Suicide Squad, the Colleens from Yoga Hosers, and pretty much EVERYONE in Collateral Beauty- and it doesn’t help that he gives a really awful message at the end of the movie which pretty much amounts to him saying that you shouldn’t kill someone because it will make you just as bad as they are, which is normally a message that has a lot of weight to it, but when the person who is trying to kill you is DOING EVERYTHING IN THEIR POWER TO TRY AND EAT YOU, and you fight back in self-defense!

I also mentioned Bianca, and out of all of the bad animated movies with forced-in love interests she’s by far the worst. Now, she’s at least thankfully not forced into a relationship with Grey (they already have one at the start of the movie) and the way his little problem is resolved isn’t by true love (but it’s not less dumb). The reason why I hate Bianca the most is because of one particular scene where she pretty much ACCUSES GREY OF CAUSING RAGEAR FROM KILLING MAGRA AND MAKING HIM THE NEW LEADER, and all because he was trying to change himself to prove to her that he’s not an immature clown. It’s somehow all HIS fault, and at no point does she ever get called out on being a colossal bitch. Though Grey DOES call out the sheep for being whiny, pathetic, and annoying, it doesn’t really leave a very satisfying impact when it’s ruined by the scenes that precede and follow it. I HATE EVERYONE IN THIS MOVIE. This movie was just like Collateral Beauty all over again- I really thought I was going to be in for something bland, but not THIS annoying and unpleasant. I really hate this movie, thanks to its combination of terrible tonal shifts, bland story, irredeemable cast of characters, and ho-hum voice acting. It’s easy to see why this movie never made it to the States. (2,541 words. Can't believe this one took me almost a week to write, but I needed to get my thoughts collected so I could express just what the hell was wrong with this movie.)

This is a really foul movie. I don't really get this kind of enjoyment out of something that fills me with dread and hatred- I would much rather be talking about things I really love, like Zootopia, but this is the kind of movie that is not only so bad that it's wasted your time, but it'll ruin your day!

Yes, I give this movie a 2. And how appropriate because now I can make more room for my best big project. That's right guys, The Wall #50 is going to be... THE TOP 10 WORST MOVIES OF 2016 I'll see you all there.

[rorykillmore]

sooo it’s time to get to the rest of my (now belated) christmas fics! this one is for @sonofkaden who didn’t have a specific request and just wanted me to write something i thought she’d like. well i... gave it some thought, and while we’ve written a ton of wonderful and important stuff together over the years, there’s one important rp dynamic that i thought could benefit from a bit of cathartic and well-earned closure.

this is, in essence, a sort of sequel to  this fic which she wrote awhile back. writing from the perspective of a character i don’t rp as or otherwise write regularly for is always vaguely intimidating for me, buuut the last gift fic i wrote was from kara’s perspective and i thought this piece would work better (and mean more to fate) from ratchet’s perspective anyways. so uh. hopefully i pulled it off!

fate, to get sappy for a moment, this year has been a particularly important one in our friendship. we finally got to meet irl and we also built an rp dynamic in the superfriends that has become so significant and definitive. it seemed only right to write a tribute to them in their entirety, so i hope you enjoy this. thank you for consistently being kind and supportive and funny, for never failing to make me smile with your distinctive brand of humor even on my lowest days -- you really are an invaluable presence in my life. <3

privately, he hopes he’s not in the process of creating some kind of dimension-crumbling paradox. clank would kill him.

There’s an image of another world shimmering on the other side of the portal. Ratchet wants to reach out and touch it; he flexes one gloved hand, stirred by its familiarity. 

“What is it?” Clank asks, his voice careful and quiet.

He can’t construct a response that’s seamless or immediate, and he knows Clank must feel his silence like a chasm between them -- but after a moment he murmurs, “It’s been awhile.”

Five years, by his estimate -- at least on this side of the rifts. The passage of time between dimensions is a tricky thing, and the awareness that it could have been much less or much more in the other world feels like a weight bearing down on him.

He’s afraid. He can’t articulate it, but he’s afraid. He can feel it in the hammering of his heart, the subtle prickling of his fur. He stands there, staring, yearning and reluctant.

“It took longer than expected to rework the schematics of the Dimensionator into something stable,” Clank begins hesitantly. “I would understand if your feelings on this matter have... changed.”

A test run, he had called it only weeks ago. Ratchet wants to laugh at himself now for that feigned flippancy. They finally have a reliable way of traveling through dimensions, and he could have used it to find the other Lombaxes --

-- He would have been lying if he’d said that hadn’t been his first thought, despite how many strides he’s taken towards making peace with it --

But that’s an entire journey, and one that doesn’t have a clear end in sight. His proposal for today is something different -- a test in essence, sure, but also a goodbye.

A proper goodbye. One he’d almost started to assume he would never get.

He doesn’t know what to do with it now. Improbable as it once might have seemed, the prospect of it has always been there, hanging in the undefined future. If he goes through with this now, it’ll be gone -- and maybe he’ll be able to let go of what he’s been holding on to since he got back.

He’s not sure he wants to.

“Nah,” he says decisively in spite of that -- and in spite of the fact that what he’s looking for might not even be there any more, which would hurt all the worse. “Can’t turn back now that we’ve come this far. Wish me luck, huh buddy?”

A part of him aches to ask Clank to come with him - the comfort of his oldest friend’s presence is easy to fall back on, even after their separation - but this is his first time deliberately dimension-hopping with this thing, and if something goes wrong... better one of them than both of them.

Besides, this is something he should probably do alone.

He feels Clank’s hand hover over his arm briefly before settling there. “Good luck, Ratchet,” the little robot echoes, and when Ratchet turns to meet his eyes, he feels the weight of the emotion behind the words.

He greets them with a nod, because he knows his own response would fail him, and then turns and takes the plunge.

“Holy shit, he’s alive.”

It’s a grating, painstakingly familiar voice that he’s first greeted with on the other side -- though in spite of that, it takes him a moment to place it. He sits up slowly, slightly dizzy with the effect of the jump, and tries to focus on the two figures looming over him. Mostly because they’re there, and easy to focus on.

He regrets it a second later.

“How did you survive Belsnickel?” demands Chanel #3, leaning in closer than Ratchet would like to get a better look at him. “Did he restore you to life once you’d learned your lesson and acknowledged the true meaning of Christmas?”

“Don’t be an idiot, Number Three,” Chanel cuts in abrasively. “Everyone knows that’s Krampus’ deal.”

Chanel #3′s expression goes blanker than usual.  “I thought he trapped people in snowglobes.”

Quickly and without much internal debate, Ratchet decides to leave them to their argument. It’s only another moment before he’s reasonably sure that his legs aren’t going to give out underneath him, so he springs abruptly to his feet -- and dashes out of the building without a backwards glance.

“Hey!” he hears one of the girls exclaim, but he doesn’t falter, his mind racing. That building is still there, and it looks the same as it ever did. And if even those two creeps are still around, then there’s a chance --

He cuts himself off before the thought is fully formed, but allows himself a tiny sliver of hope. There’s a chance.

When he reaches their old apartment, he’s out of breath, and he’s almost grateful for the moment’s pause it excuses.

Except then the moment goes on a little too long, and he��s just staring at the door, reevaluating everything. Again.

Sometimes he hates that he thinks too much.

It’s sentiment, ultimately, that quells his doubt. The thought of seeing his friends’ faces again, the knowledge that they could be right there on the other side. So he lifts his hand and manages it to keep from shaking as he knocks. Twice. A third time.

And then he waits a short span of seconds that feel like a lifetime before door opens.

It’s Kara on the other side, and Ratchet feels his heart swell with relief -- and then stutter. She looks so much like he remembers her (but then he remembers that thing about Kryptonian aging, and realizes that probably shouldn’t tell him anything). The way the smile on her face freezes tells him that at least some time has passed, for her. Enough for her to notice his absence.

Probably, he guesses as he looks at her now, enough for her to mourn it. He hates the idea of everything they’d built together - everything he’s left behind- having splintered and broken.

“Hey,” he decides to break the silence, inevitably awkward.  “I, uh -- I know this is probably weirding you out. I can explain.”

“Ratchet,” she murmurs faintly in response, and the sound of it wrenches at his heart.  She looks as though she’s seen a ghost, and while he rationally knows he has no control over the rifts, he can’t help feeling guilty.

He hesitates, feeling his ears droop. He’s almost afraid to ask, but he can’t see anything to do except push ahead.  “...How long’s it been?”

She doesn’t answer, almost staring through him in a way he can’t remember ever seeing her do before. He wishes reaching out to her felt as easy as it once did, but whether it’s the time that’s passed or the way she’s reacting,he suddenly feels helpless.

And then a shadow moves behind her -- and Ratchet instantly recognizes Sasuke. He’s visibly changed. He’s not dramatically older, but maybe a year or two, and his hair’s grown out a little to lesson some of that inexplicable spikiness.

Too bad. Ratchet always liked teasing him about that.

For a moment, Sasuke’s expression is nearly as vulnerable as Kara’s, and that’s even more disconcerting -- but he recovers more quickly, finds his voice before Ratchet has to stumble again for something to say.

“You came back.”

“...I can’t stay.”  Telling them this suddenly feels agonizing  -- dropping in to say goodbye felt comparatively easy, in his own world. Now it feels like the first thing he needs to tell them, and the one thing he doesn’t want to -- if they’re reacting like this, how will losing him again feel?  “I just -- wanted to see you both. One more time.  I thought... you deserved that.”

His voice sounds uncertain to his own ears, and he deflates a little further. Weren’t they happy to see him? He doesn’t like that thought. It feels... selfish, somehow. But it’s been hard for him too. He’s missed them too.

A fleeting look passes between his two old friends, gone almost before he notes it -- and then something seems to give way. Kara’s the first to step forward, and suddenly her arms are around him, her voice close to his ear as she murmurs “We missed you so much.”

In spite of the whirlwind of emotion still raging between the three of them, it’s instinct to hug her back. This feels familiar, this is how things click back into place -- he remembers a time when the two of them were practically attached at the hip, when hugs like this were commonplace.

Well, he thinks as he holds onto her a little more tightly, maybe not hugs like this.

It’s only a moment before his gaze drifts past her and over to Sasuke, who’s still standing in the doorway. He’s a little startled by what he sees: in some unexpected sense, Sasuke looks almost lost, his hand flitting up to brush his hair away from his eyes in a gesture that’s strangely apprehensive. The look that passes between them is silent and loaded, and after a couple of heartbeats, Ratchet finds himself wordlessly disentangling an arm and holding it out to him.

It’s a minuscule reaction, and he might have missed it if he hadn’t been trained to watch so closely -- but Sasuke almost seems to draw away from him. But this is so much the way Ratchet remembers it being: reaching out to Sasuke sometimes means being patient until he decides to reach back. And slowly, almost painstakingly, he finally does. His grip is tight as it closes around Ratchet’s, and the three of them stand together in silence for a moment, bound by memory as well as touch.

“I’m... sorry we greeted you like that.” After what seems at once like lifetimes and seconds too short, Kara pulls away, and Ratchet gets the feeling she’s not talking about the hug. The three of them simultaneously disentwine as if they’re one mind, and he straightens, glancing between them inquisitively. “It’s just -- a lot has happened, since you left.”

He can’t help but smile faintly. “Yeah. For me, too.”

“I guess we have some catching up to do,” Sasuke remarks, though Ratchet’s almost sure he doesn’t imagine the look he shoots Kara -- or the way Kara glances behind her, in the direction of the clock on the wall.

Even so, no one has to say anything else. When they let him inside, Ratchet remembers the day Kara asked him to be her roommate and marvels at how much and how little has changed since then.

In some small, odd way, it almost feels like coming home.

The things they tell each other aren’t easy. Sure, catching up involves a lot of laughs - they share anecdotes and reminisce, and there are moments when it feels like no time has passed at all - but Ratchet also tells them how he had to sacrifice his then-only hope of finding the Lombaxes (he sees it hit Kara particularly hard). He listens as they tell him how Kara lost herself thanks to some drug concocted by Mason Verger, and how Sasuke’s newfound power entailed him hidings his meetings with Orochimaru for months -- a wound that still seems to be healing, because Kara goes tightlipped when it comes up.

It hurts him, to know they’ve been hurting, but it also makes him fiercely proud. They’ve stayed together, through everything. Their team has survived. And -- there’s something telling, he thinks, about how now none of them thing twice about telling each other everything.

Except, it turns out, there is one thing they haven’t told him.

One... kind of big thing.

“You -- met another Ratchet?”  he can’t keep himself from blurting out when they finally confess. “Another me?”

His mind flits back to the memory of meeting the other Kara, and how it prompted a discussion about another Sasuke, and he has to take a moment to wrap his head around it. Wryly, he reflects that he’s somehow managed to forget how much of a headache this can be.

“...He’s part of our team, now,” Sasuke says, watching him closely, and Ratchet feels a small jolt at the realization.

This isn’t just a one or two time anomaly. The... Other Ratchet has been with them the whole time. He’s painfully aware of how frozen he must look, and struggles to work out how to feel.

“But it’s not that simple,” Kara’s quick to put in, reading his expression. “It took a... long time for us to work things out. It wasn’t like we just replaced you.”

Ratchet flexes his hands, taking momentary comfort in the familiar feel of his glove, and wonders. Replace him?  He doesn’t think his friends would ever try. Still, this is a jarring shock,  and he can’t help but reel -- and somewhere buried beneath the startled confusion, he feels the seeds of envy beginning to burrow.

Never in a million years would he have imagined being almost jealous of his younger self.

They seem to be taking his silence as a bad sign, because it’s Sasuke who continues, “When he got here... we were still grieving you. He noticed pretty quickly. It was a mess, for awhile.”

“That’s -- around the time I got hit with the Red Kryptonite.” Kara shifts, her jaw tightening.

His eyes widen at the implication, and he hesitates for a moment, forcing himself to sort through his thoughts before he finally speaks.  “I... wow. So that’s why you guys... kind of freaked out back there.”

He can think of about a hundred questions he wants to ask, and wonders whether it would be better if he didn’t.

“Not because we didn’t want to see you.” Kara reaches out to rest a hand over his -- she’s hardly broken contact, since he stepped inside. “Just -- we thought things might get... complicated, if he realized you were here before we had a chance to talk to him.”

Ratchet doesn’t pull away from her, but for the first time, he lowers his gaze. “...Well. Like I said -- I can’t stay.”

This time, the silence that falls between them is heavy. In spite of how much all of this is, he doesn’t want this to be his last member of them - doesn’t want to leave with all of this baggage between them - so he tries to think of something else to say.

It’s Sasuke, actually, who beats him to it -- Ratchet can’t help but be reminded of the evening he surprised them all by being the one to uplift them. Funny, the details he can still remember.

“You helped build this team, you know.” His voice is level and direct, and Ratchet finally looks over at him. “Without you, none of this would have this. We’re not about to forget that.”

Kara nods, giving his hand a light squeeze.  “You know, younger Ratchet -- we’re close with him now because of everything we’ve been through together. Not because of who he is.  But you -- you were my first friend here. I still feel like I... owe you so much, in some ways.”

He glances between them, silent but pensive, feeling a strange kind of sadness even as something in him lightens.

“And -- that night on the rooftop, after the Christmas party? We promised each other we’d always be friends,” Kara finishes, sounding softer and a little firmer all at once. “I haven’t forgotten that, either.”

Her words hang in the air for a beat, and then --

“...You’re still a sap, you know that?”  Ratchet murmurs with teasing fondness, but he remembers it, too. His comment earns him a smile, and he can’t help but smile back at her. Even Sasuke’s expression looks lighter, and these are the little things Ratchet missed: Kara’s open warmth, Sasuke’s rare softness.

He knows - whatever else he might feel, looking at them now he knows - that when he has to leave them again, they’ll be okay -- and that he will be, too. He recognizes it as the peace he came here to find.

“So... I still have a little while, before I’ve gotta take off,” he ventures, his smile turning just a touch more sly. “What do you guys say to one more patrol -- for old time’s sake?”

They make for - of all things - the quarantine zone. It’s half a joke, half for nostalgia’s sake, and either way Ratchet finds it strangely peaceful for the former site of a zombie apocalypse. Sitting on the wall, facing the ocean with his friends -- it’s a little easier to put things into perspective. And even if he realizes that some part of him will always be a little sad for the things he missed, the knowledge he bears now makes up for it.

That instead of drifting apart, Kara and Sasuke have become almost seamlessly close. That Sasuke seems more comfortable and less alone now than he ever did in all the time Ratchet has known him. That Kara herself seems to... fit into her place in this world in a way she once yearned to.

Ratchet remembers his promise to her, when he vowed to help her chase after normalcy. In those quiet last moments with his friends, he thinks he might owe the fulfillment of at least part of that promise to someone else -- someone who isn’t even sitting on this wall.

And with only a hint of trepidation, he decides he has one last stop to make before he goes home.

Looking down at your younger self, it turns out, is kind of a trip.

“Now I see why Clank’s so fussy about time travel,” Ratchet murmurs, reveling for a moment in the silliness of making idle comments to himself. From his calculated position on a nearby rooftop, he blinks at the other Ratchet, marveling at the reality that this is so clearly him -- but not. He can’t fully put his finger on it, but there’s something about the kid that looks a little... softer than he remembers being, at that age.

And -- is he walking home from school?

That realization prompts a pang of mingled amusement and envy, and Ratchet’s careful to tuck it away before he swingshots down and lands effortlessly on the street.

“Hey,” he greets the other him with what he hopes is a casual enough grin. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

The other Ratchet jolts as if struck by lightning, and whirls around to face him -- he cringes inwardly, feeling a little bad for startling him. ...Himself? Whatever.

The look on his younger self’s face doesn’t exactly manage to reassure him. It’s blank with shock, at first, and then raw with anger - and wow, does Ratchet remember feeling like that - before it finally settles into something a little more conflicted. A little more cautious.

“...You’re him,” his younger self says, and it’s almost a whisper.

“Uh -- yeah.” Ratchet makes every effort not to think about how weird this objectively is. “Look, I know you’re probably not... thrilled to see me. But I thought I should swing by and say something. I’m sorry about... you know, how rough things’ve been for you.”

The other Ratchet’s ears droop in a way that’s all too familiar, even as his tail lashes indecisively. “I...”

Ratchet waits for him to finish. It takes him a moment.

“...It’s not your fault,” the kid manages at last, though his expression is guarded and unsure.

“It’s not yours, either,” Ratchet responds simply.

They stare at each other for a long moment, and Ratchet himself can’t help but feel some of the disbelief he still sees written across his mirror image’s face. Privately, he hopes he’s not in the process of creating some kind of dimension-crumbling paradox. Clank would kill him.

“So -- so the rifts... ?” The other Ratchet begins, and he shakes his head.

“Nah, I came here on my own.”

“You -- on your -- ?”  There’s something weirdly endearing about how the younger him fumbles for words. “You found a way to travel through dimensions -- on your own?”

Ratchet rubs behind his neck. “Well... I had a little help. Don’t worry, I’m not hanging around -- I just owed Sasuke and Kara a goodbye.”

The other Ratchet’s expression falters for a moment, and he looks as though he’s not sure how to respond to that. Ratchet suddenly finds that there’s so much he wants to say - the whole ‘if you could tell your younger self one thing’ deal really shouldn’t be treated as such a hypothetical - that he pauses, too.

In the end, what he settles for is:  “You know, I took a look at some of the designs you reworked -- at the tech center?”

“-- Oh! Yeah.” The younger Lombax hesitates. “I, uh... kinda didn’t think anyone would be back. For them. I mean, I know they were yours --”

“I’m impressed.” Ratchet interrupts his uneasy rambling with a calm smile. You improved them. Seriously.”

He has to fight not to broaden his smile as the other Ratchet gapes at him, his ears starting to lift. Taking a step forward, he decides to risk it, and rests a hand briefly on his shoulder.

No paradox. No sudden crumbling of reality. Always a good sign.

“Something tells me you’ve got quite a future ahead of you,” he says quietly, despite -- despite everything. “And it doesn’t have to be mine.”

They hold each other’s gazes, strange emotion brimming between them, and he recognizes that nothing else needs to be said.

When he steps away again and swings off, he doesn’t look back -- in spite of all the warnings he could have given, the advice he could have bestowed. He’s said everything he needed to, and he realizes - has long since realized - that there are a lot of things that shouldn’t be molded or shaped.

He doesn’t need to look back anymore, anyway.

He knows now that the important things are the ones he will carry with him always.