honimello · 7 months ago
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18+ MNDI
nameles ghoul/ghoulette x sibling of sin!!!
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bokhoottoo · 7 years ago
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BUZZFEED UNSOLVED AU
So basically,,, Lance is loosely based off Shane and Keith is loosely based off Ryan
Tbh Shiro and Lance being in Shane’s role is interchangeable, sometimes Shiro will do an ep and sometimes Lance will do an ep (it’s mostly Lance tho)
Shiro will usually fill in if Lance has like, a project or big test and can’t do an episode
[Shiro voice] hey there, demons, its me ya boy
Pidge handles the camera/techie stuff and Hunk helps out with editing and such
Keith and Pidge are Big Conspiracy Theorists and they start a YouTube channel called “Voltron Unsolved”
Lance: What the fucks a Voltron
Keith: do you want in or not?
Lance: of fucking course I do
At first it was mostly them just fucking around in a forest or allegedly haunted hotel trying to find demons and stuff but it got really popular after, like, a year
people loved the dynamic between Lance, Keith, Pidge, and Hunk and Shiro and Matt, when they joined in sometimes 
there’s 5 different Mothman episodes bc Keith is this close to catching him
Lance, in a panicked voice: something just grabbed my ass
One time they couldn’t find Shiro so theres just like 20 hours of footage of Pidge, Hunk, Keith, and Lance going around town looking for him and speculating on where he could be
Lance: thE COCO GOT HIM 
Keith: mothman is real and he abducted my brother behind a Denny’s
Pidge: what’s up gamers Shiro was fuckin possesed by a ghost
Hunk: oh my god Shiro died and we have to learn necromancy to resurrect him
turns out he was just hanging out with Matt lol
Matt: and I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids!
Pidge: Matthew you are twenty eight, stop acting like a child
Keith: so apparently the spirits in this hotel are excessively violent and aggressive
Lance, from the shadows, lobbing a vase at Keith: YEET, BITCH
Pidge’s running gag in the show is that she says some variation of “I’m gonna call a fucking exorcist” whenever Lance fucks around in a haunted building or something
the funny thing is though she never actually does until they’re reviewing footage from when they visited the Lizzie Boren house and as Keith is talking to the picture of Lizze, they hear Keith’s name repeated many times in a voice not belonging to any of their’s
Pidge deadass calls an exorcist
Keith, turning around when a chair falls over: what was that?
Pidge: dunno. some bullshit
[Lance voice] Hey ghouls! The boys are here!
Hunk gets scared easily but he’s also really curious so tbh he’s probably the first to go poking around at some spooky shit
Pidge: what’s that red stain on the dresser huNK NO-
Lance: If you slit my throat tonight I’m gonna have a hard time forgiving you for that 
Keith, wheezing: okay are you going to haunt me in the afterlife then?
Lance: what? No ghosts aren’t real 
Pidge, zooming in on Lance’s distressed face: Local man very anxious, tune in at 11 for more
Shiro tries, really, really hard not to get any of them killed
not by like, the ghosts or demons or whatever. He lets Pidge, Lance, Hunk and Keith deal with that spooky stuff. He just doesn’t want the landlady of the haunted motel to murder Lance for banging on the walls and yelling “hey demons come out come out wherever the fuck you are!”
Lance: where the hell are we gonna get a Bigfoot costume in the middle of June?
Hunk: Target is having a five for one sale on brown rugs and I have a bunch of duct tape left over from band night?
Lance: Hunk you are a GENIUS
Keith loves investigating the paranormal and all but he gets freaked out when Lance starts fucking around with the demons or ghosts
Lance: ayyyy I’m getting a selfie with this ghost, this is going on the snap
Lance: there could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing behind you and you wouldn’t even know it
Lance: hey Keith the demons want you to blaze it lol
Lance likes to tease about Keith believing in ghosts but he will never let anyone know that something brushed up against his foot while it was hanging off the bed when he was lying down and now he keeps a bag of salt in his pocket at all times
Hunk: oh my god we don’t have any salt to make a salt circle we’re all going to die a painful and excruciating
Keith: Hunk calm down-
Lance, screaming and grabbing handfuls of salt from his pockets: NOT TODAY GHOSTS NOT T O D A Y
[while on the Queen Mary] Lance: Keith what if we’re in the same spot one of the scenes in titanic was filmed?! What if I’m standing where Kate Winslet stood?!
Lance: those lucky ghost bastards, getting to hang out when Titanic was being filmed here
Keith: … the people who died here did so in a horrific and unimaginable way
Lance: yeah but they probably got to stare at Leonardo DiCaprio when he was soaking wet so who’s the real winner here?
Pidge, zooming in on Keith and Lance sitting in the tub: two bros sittin in a hot tub… five feet apart cause they’re not gay
Pidge: ya aint shit ghost!
Lance, banging on the windows: ya aint SHIT
Pidge: ya just. like. ya FATHER.
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