#also yeah he has a fame for being a vampire who still hunts vampires and it has gotten him enemies but you know...

[palidoozy-art]

The more I think about your recent post about the changes you made to Strahd, the more I wonder about those changes you made to the others mentioned (Rahadin, Van Richten, Ireena, etc). I'd absolutely love to hear what adjustments you made as you already shared some stellar ideas already. Like the Tome? -Chef kiss- Amazing.

Oh mannn I do love talking about my campaign. I changed a lot with them. Again, weirdly enough, I think Strahd wound up being the most like his original incarnation. I could talk forever about the changes I made so I'll try to be brief haha. IT STILL WON'T BE BRIEF.

Obvious CoS spoilers below

IREENA - I thought it was weird that the picture they gave her makes her look like such a badass, and then the module just kind of writes her as a damsel in distress to either get kidnapped or pulled into water or dumped somewhere. To me, she's like, the second most important character in CoS -- and the book literally gives you less direction to roleplay her than her brother. Furthermore, reading her ending actually legit made me mad.

So I said fuck all that. Ireena in my game was a 19-year old girl who grew and developed over the course of the campaign. Several of my players actually said they thought of her as "the main character," just because she experienced a lot of character growth and development, going from a sheltered meek teenager to someone who can fight and assert herself. The biggest change I made to her though was that I very specifically did not just want her to be "Tatyana with memory loss." Ireena is a unique individual who happens to be partially made out of Tatyana's soul. While she shares many similarities with Tatyana, they're separate people, and part of what Ireena has to grapple with is how to live up to that. She's in the post-campaign because of that distinction -- while Sergei offered her to join him, she declined, because she wants to experience life past her twenties. I didn't get to play it out because we were kind of rushing towards the end, but I honestly envisioned a scene where she talks to the portrait of Tatyana, apologizing to her because she knows she's being selfish remaining alive.

This also brings up a unique problem in the post campaign. If Ireena dies, she ceases to exist and may not be able to be resurrected. When her soul leaves her body, it's Tatyana's again. Ireena very much wants to live. Tatyana doesn't. A resurrection has to be made with the consent of the soul, and if Tatyana declines, Ireena's just... gone. Forever.

Related: because I wasn't sure what my players would ask, and Rahadin would absolutely know this information -- there have been 18 incarnations of Tatyana, including the original. I actually have a timeline of when they were all born and how they died. The curse manifests in that they always die or are killed before their 25th birthday. If Strahd attempts to marry them, they lose their minds and throw themselves off of the same balcony the original Tatyana jumped off of during the ceremony. Strahd can never have Tatyana. Vampyr will ensure of that.

But yeah, essentially: Ireena gained actual class levels; she wasn't just Tatyana with memory loss; she traveled with the party for 90% of the campaign and wasn't just a macguffin to be kidnapped/take to places; and I removed any of the "Sergei takes her into water/the sky and you never see her again" endings because I absolutely hated those.

VAN RICHTEN - Van Richten I tweaked a lot from his original incarnation. First, I started him off as Lawful Neutral. No, game, I know you tell me he's Lawful Good, but I'm gonna have to disagree with you that "training a racist tiger to genocide an ethnic camp" falls under the spectrum of Lawful Good. Second, I changed him from cleric to artificer (alchemist). I somehow just got the impression the dude was a godless man, and so he felt more fitting to be a man of science rather than a man of the church. Third, since I wasn't sure the other dread domains were ever going to be brought into 5e I moved him out of Darkon and into another world from the outside.

His backstory was also tied more into Strahd and the campaign in general, as well as the Dark Powers. About 30 years ago, he went into the mists with his own adventuring party (that included Escher) to try to rescue his kidnapped son, Erasmus. He found his son half-turned and begging him for death. Killing him, Van Richten hunted down the Vistani woman (Ezmerelda's mother) who sold the man, and in a rage strangled her to death. This gave him a curse. Ezmerelda witnessed it happen.

He went on a warpath against vampire spawn and vistani alike, until Strahd proposed a deal to Escher. Escher lured the group to a familiar dinner date with Strahd... only for Strahd to murder all of them, including Van Richten. Van Richten was approached by a dark power -- Vaund the Evasive, and given the option to return to life in exchange for the promise that Van Richten would eventually return to Amber Temple and free him. He took it, waking up outside of Barovia. From there he became famed vampire-hunter-book-author, until in his early 50's he decided it was time to seek vengeance and fulfill his promise. He brought in his hat of disguise, came up with an alibi, and headed into Barovia as Rictavio the Great.

He was absolutely played as a much more morally grey character at the start (the party's first encounter with him rather than Rictavio was him literally torturing a dude). He softened over the course of the campaign as he grew attached to the party, until finally reaching a point in the post-campaign where he's considered Lawful Good

Also: Ezmerelda was treated more or less as his adoptive daughter. She absolutely argued against this every single time, but he even slipped up and referred to her as his daughter on a few tense occasions.

RAHADIN - Rahadin I adjusted a lot, too. A LOOOOOOT. Strahd being comically evil makes sense -- the dude is a darklord, that kind of comes with the territory. With Rahadin, I wanted him to have more motivations to his actions, because the base game actually suggests that the dude is actually capable of caring. In the base game, you can find him at Amber Temple, trying to "petition the dark god into releasing his master from his torment." He screams in grief if he finds Strahd dead. Furthermore it felt like the game glosses over the fact that the dude was adopted as Barov's son. It doesn't bother addressing how Rahadin felt about Sergei, who would in theory be his other brother. I thought a number of things suggested in his backstory were interesting, but not expanded upon in the base game. So I took it upon myself to do so.

I changed how dusk elf society was built, which affected the three major dusk elf characters. It worked off of a pretty brutal caste system, with three kings at the top overseeing all of it. Rahadin was born in a lower caste, but actually brought into the warrior caste after a member of royalty was intrigued by his stature. Rahadin worked as a general, but grew frustrated by the inefficiencies of the caste system and its inequality. He started attempting to use his influence to petition other members of nobility into changing or loosening the strict system.

Patrina caught wind of this, and viewing it as a threat to her lifestyle + viewing it as an easy way to gain brownie points with those above her... tattled on him to the three kings, spinning what he was doing as treason. Rahadin was arrested and subsequently tortured. They attempted to execute him on a breaking wheel, breaking his bones against the spokes and leaving him in the town square as an example. He wound up escaping, crawling his way out of town until he was subsequently rescued by a group of human monks. The event pretty much broke him, morally. He went to Barov soon after and sold his people out, taking a personal hand in helping annihilate the dusk elves and conquering their land. Barov was so impressed by the man's loyalty that he adopted him as his son.

Part of this was done to make a connection as to why the hell Rahadin just absolutely fuckin' hates Patrina so much (since that definitely got played up during the campaign). When thinking of Rahadin's motivations, I tried to come at it from the angle that this man was evil... but legitimately cared deeply about Strahd, Sergei, and Tatyana. He was devestated from the events of the wedding, but saw Strahd's return as a second chance. As the lone surviving witness from the wedding, he desperately wanted to help the three of them. But his own blind loyalty to Strahd and his broken moral compass prevented him from doing so.

One of my favorite little additions was a sidequest I offered to the players (they wanted to redeem Rahadin). They were requested by him to retrieve (well, "not destroy or sell") one of his most precious belongings in his office. When they get there... it turns out it's a birthday card and a worn-out old amulet from Sergei and Tatyana that he's kept after all these years. They got Ireena to read the letter to him, to help him keep going after Strahd's death.

anyway i could ramble on about changes forever but i don't want this post to get too long haha. i have. many feelings. over this campaign. maybe at some point I'll do a separate post with some of the others.

i also kinda wanna do a comic of an event from Rahadin's backstory for my players but we'll see, I might deem it "too stupid."

[tanoraqui]

okay I have to do this today because even I wouldn’t do it after the godforsaken finale airs, and it’s basically my specialty and I did spend like an hour thinking about it last night while washing dishes. Definitely partly inspired by @words-writ-in-starlight​‘s insightful post on everything Supernatural did wrong, and apologies in advance to all the characters for dragging them into anything related to Christian mythology:

Wei Wuxian’s parents die in a house fire when he’s 6(? I refuse to look anything up) months old

Jiangs are a hunter family I guess? That whole disaster of a family dynamic, except WWX dips out at some point to be idk an environmental activist bc at the time, that seems like the larger threat to the whole world. “Mom and Dad went on a hunting trip and they haven’t come back”, “bitch” “jerk”, 2 brothers in a beat-up old car, you know the drill

Jins are also an old hunting family, but more Men of Letters energy - they have a fancy bunker and do research and avoid getting their actual hands dirty. Jiang Yanli ducked out of the active hunting life a few years ago to be happily married to her peacock and settled down with a baby and she’s fine. We’re not going to bother Yanli. She’s safe and happy and doesn’t need to involved in any of this

so, WWX is the demon blood child developing exciting new abilities like telekinesis, mind control, exorcising demons by sheer force of will...etc, and Jiang Cheng is the Righteous Man. Lucifer, Michael, etc.

s1-3 probably proceeds more or less as spn canon...which I more or less remember...by the time they find their parents at the end of s1, Jiang Fengmian is...ugh, we probably shouldn’t kill him offscreen, I mean, we should probably meet him before he dies. I guess. Madam Yu lasts longer because I’m way more interested in her. But we do know that both Jiang parents are totally inclined to fling the boys into a metaphorical or literal escape boat and go hold the line for as long as possible, so...that’s spn energy...

Xue Yang is the one who’s like “fuck yeah, demon powers” and opens the gates of Hell, because I want him to have nice* things

*nice for Xue Yang

from characterization rather than memory, I’m 90% sure that Dean tried to hide his crossroads deal from Sam, but Jiang Cheng does it...better. I think it does come out, though. Right before the hellhounds do.

here’s where it starts to go farther off from spn canon. Jiang Cheng crawls his way out of the grave, gets stalked by a menacing presence that explodes windows for an episode, incidentally can’t find WWX...*Lan Wangji voice* “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition” (a baller line then and a baller line now)...and then the next episode starts with them all awkwardly standing around, and JC is like, “ok well let’s go find my brother then”, and you think there’s going to be an mdzs-riffing JC+LWJ Roadtrip To Find WWX...and they’re immediately attacked by like a dozen demons

in fact, the first time we see WWX in s4 is here, wherein he goes toe to toe with an angel and...holds his own. that’s new and terrifying! also is leading a squad of demons??

because here’s the thing: for the last 3(?) months, there’s been war in hell

because unlike Some People Mooses, upon finding out that his brother’s soul was legally nearly-owned by a crossroads demon, heir-apparent-to-Satan!WWX went, “actually fuck that” and kicked open the door of Hell (metaphorically, not loosing any demons this time) and was like, “who do I have to beat the shit out of to get a specific crossroads contract around here”

this did not work, obv. He didn’t know until it was too late, Lilith had already snapped up the contract, etc. etc.

obviously he also tried to offer himself instead, and got rejected for some reason

Since Jiang Cheng died, however, there’s been a war for control of Hell. Leading one side, Lilith, the Original Babe, who wants to break all 666(?) seals keeping Lucifer bound and in the meantime, break the Righteous Man so Heaven won’t even have Michael’s destined host ready for the Final Battle. Leading the other side, Wei Wuxian, infamous upstart, who wants to rescue the Righteous Man and restore him to life, tear Lilith’s guts out through her nose, and also stop her from doing the Lucifer thing because Wen Qing explained that yes, that’s a Thing, and it’s Bad.

Wen Qing! I’ve decided to combine Bela and Ruby’s roles and let WQ be both the cool badass example of how demon deals can go Bad and the demon deliberately leading our heroes astray for most of s3-4. Wen Qing is a very new demon; she used to be some sort of herbalist/witch but then she sold her soul in a crossroads deal to cure her brother of some lingering illness. 10 years of happiness and then boom, hellhounds. WQ is so obviously competent, though, that they (Lilith, I guess?) immediately offers her a job, with the promise threat that gee, that’s a nice brother you’ve got there, even with his Designated Chronic Health Condition getting all relapse-y. It’d be such a shame if something were to...happen to him...

we find this out at some point in last s3 I guess? some Monster of the Week case involves WN as a witness or something, or possible next victim, and WQ shows up to be A Normal Amount Of Invested In This, while desperately trying to avoid actually interacting with her brother (who thinks she’s dead). YES, the truth comes out; YES there’s a tearful reunion

now in s4, Wen Ning is fine actually, health-wise, bc he maybe made a crossroads deal with Wei Wuxian personally, and Wen Qing may or may not have admitted that she’s supposed to be working for Lilith to get WWX ready to host Lucifer? Or potentially that comes out later, idk. Either way, she’s 100% his top lieutenant in this exciting Hell War they’re waging

[insert whatever the hell (ha) happened plot-wise in s4 of supernatural]

we obviously mix up the relationships, too, bc it’s like, *LWJ internal monologue* I’m too young to remember my brother Lucifer as he was before he Fell, but surely Wei Wuxian is his Heir and Destined Vessel in truth, for he is Charismatic and Charming and Makes Me Feel Things, with his Clearly Feigned Righteous Drive and Compassion for All God’s Creatures and - why does heat keep pooling in the lower abdomen of my vessel when I look at his lips, which I am definitely doing a Normal and Not-Weird Amount - I’m just keeping an eye out for the famed Silver Tongue, and not in any way wondering how it would feel in my own mouth -

it’s actually DEFINITELY plausible for Lucifer to still be released even if our designated Heir Apparent is using his demon powers to his full potential and no one’s lying to each other about their motives. You just need to let Lilith be more scary too, and especially bc by “no one” I mostly mean Wen Qing; the angels are still totally hiding the fact that they, too, want to jumpstart the shit out of this apocalypse.  LWJ decides at the last minute that that’s a bad idea actually, gets himself discorporated to send JC to intercept WWX because he accidentally releases Lucifer, etc. etc. Oh yeah, the boys were def fighting before this, bc JC has actually fairly reasonable concerns about the sort of things WWX is getting up to in his quest to become King of Hell...

SO

...I neither know nor care what happens in s5

it does end with both Lucifer and Michael locked in the cage probably, bc I rather liked that solution. Fuck both of ‘em, basically.

I was toying with the idea that WWX also found Madam Yu in whatever hellish torment she was suffering after making a deal so her idiot son(s) would survive, and she was leading forces for him in the war against Lilith as well. If she came back to life somehow, body and all, it’d probably be compelling if she offered her own body to Michael - bc it’s her lineage! - and we’re all led to believe that she’s, uh, being a bitch and actually wants to risk destroying the world in order to destroy all demons...but then she seizes back control and flings herself/Michael and Lucifer into the Pit, because she’s just That Hardcore?

which means we’d actually have had her around and having characterization for most of s4-5, too, which would be fun

More importantly, it ends with newly crowned King of Hell Wei Wuxian appointing Wen Qing as Queen-Regent and ditching to go on an indefinite honeymoon with his new angel boyfriend (they’re going to fuck for like three weeks straight, then roll up their sleeves and go conquer Heaven in the name of free will), and Jiang Cheng gets to live out his hitherto-unknown-to-himself life’s ambition to be the sugar baby of the Queen of Hell. It’s very Hades/Persephone, except he goes back down to the underworld at least once a month. He gets his own demon squad whom he trains up in all the hunting techniques and it’s gr9. Wen Qing is reforming the crossroads deal process to make it more fair to the humans.

the end

Addenda:

it should go without saying but Jiang Yanli is definitely a recurring character, like, at least once a season there’s a filler episode where they go to Jiang Yanli’s for dinner and have to get along as a family, and also do the much easier job of defeating some sort of terrible demon that gets loose in the bunker and turns the evening into a horror movie. She’s their main research/emotional check-in person, a la Bobby, more often appearing in later seasons when there’s, uhhh, more to emotionally check in about.

Jin Zixuan is actually a perfectly competent hunter; he’s just a priss and we don’t Like him

we like Mianmian, though. Oh, I guess the official Hunter’s Guild or w/e tries to declare WWX a public enemy on account of the whole “King of Hell” thing and she’s like “actually what if you’re morons and assholes?” and joins hte team in s4 or 5? Yeah.

idk how the 3zun disaster happens in this ‘verse but I do encourage it to be happening in slow motion as a recurring subplot for several seasons. NMJ is a hunter, LXC is obv an angel, and JGY is...I wanna say one of the more human monsters, like a vampire? Or, you know, something that could be born from JGS sleeping with someone/something he shouldn’t have

[theparanormalperiodical]

The Real Story Behind The Annabelle Doll, And The Other Haunted Dolls You Need To Know About

If you’ve been living under a rock for like, the last, I don’t know, 6 years, then you won’t know squat about the creepy doll phenomenon that’s currently haunting our TV and cinema screens (and at this rate, our nightmares too).

Even though this newer trope combines all the basic-bitch horror movie plot lines – and holes – worthy of scoring a solid ‘rotten tomato’ on IMBD, it turns out that there is a good deal of truth to these tales of terror.

And this is bound to continue with the release of the newest instalment in The Conjuring universe: Annabelle Comes Home (2019).

This film seeks to document her existence in Ed And Lorraine Warrens Occult Museum – an actual place where she still is – and centres around the Warren’s daughter unleashing the dark spirits (and/ or demon) contained within this spooky-ass doll.

And so, it is time to reflect on the real story behind Annabelle herself, and the other haunted dolls in existence.

#squadgoals.

But first, here’s a quick recap of the Annabelle film saga:

Annabelle’s done pretty well for herself.

She’s featured in 4 horror hits, and has even starred in 3 self-titled movies to boot. We meet her first in The Conjuring as an introduction to the Warrens and she is effectively used to combat a classic horror film trope: all scary movies start with the obligatory first 30 minutes where they introduce the characters, the peaceful home setting, and the references to past trauma which will be once again inflicted later on. Then they get going with the stuff you actually paid for.

But not here, not in The Conjuring.

Annabelle is used to give us a taste of the terror that awaits us once we get past the opening titles. And lord, she does it well. We also get introduced to the basic-bitch doll hauntings that go hand in hand with any horror film; doors moving, writing on notes and on the ceiling, the classic rocking chair, and any other generic hauntings you can pull out of your ass and type up into a screenplay.

Anyway, the story of Annabelle across the films so far is that a child called Annabelle dies, and the parents call upon all the higher powers – yes, all the higher powers – in the midst of their grief to allow her to return.

‘Something’ pretends to be their daughter, and upon witnessing such things, they give this ‘Something’ permission to enter the doll.

The ‘Something’ then proceeds to fuck shit up, and thankfully the parents lock away the doll with all of the protections necessary. Round of applause, everyone.

Cue entrance of young, innocent girls – who, just so happen to be orphans because tropes – who accidentally unleash the terror of the doll. That special ‘something’ trapped within Annabelle is unleashed and possesses one of the girls; she escapes, gets adopted whilst pretending to not be a demon (easier said than done, actually), and years later kills her adoptive parents after she hunts down the original Annabelle doll, and cries onto it to re-possess the doll.

This takes us to the first movie – which, yeah, it’s not great, not worth a watch – and ends with Annabelle being purchased from an antique shop, supposedly as a gift for the owners we met in the first Conjuring flick.

And it turns out that whilst the totality of the events aren’t completely true, the tagline of ‘based on a true story’ isnt too far-fetched.

The real-life Annabelle is one of the most renowned paranormal objects in the world, and her fellow haunted friends all seem to tie into the theory that is brought up in The Conjuring: Vessel theory.

Simply put by the Warrens, the doll (like any object) is a vessel for spirits and demons, namely those that want to enter you.

I mean, they could at least take you out for a drink first, god.

The films focus on this invitation aspect, channelling the vampiric vibe of being allowed in, and stick to the classic line of thought: the entities want your soul for a purpose to become idk alive again and no one really understands why but goddamnit it sounds intense.

And as it is a film, it sticks to a simplified version of the actual theories behind haunted dolls in order to cram in as many empty jump scares.

In actuality, there’s a lot more to the theories behind haunted objects, and the rumours of the objects themselves, than is given attention to in Annabelle’s film saga.

The actual theories behind haunted dolls

There are 3 sides to theory that we need to consider here: that of cursed objects, ceremonial objects, and a concept called ‘spirit binding’.

The film groups Annabelle in with the first category, but makes mention of the second group when it comes to introducing the Warren’s museum. Cursed objects come about when energies become attached to objects, and these vessels also are utilised in the ceremonial world.

The earliest history of haunted dolls sticks to this purpose, and its only when the age of the occult hits in the 20th century that stories like Annabelle’s start popping up.

Think effigies or voodoo dolls; anything that can be used for mystical purposes, was. It was believed that spells could transfer person to poppet, and were used to place curses on unfavourable community members.

This enforced binding of spirits to objects is the core of the theory, and still continues today under that rather obvious alias of ‘spirit binding’. Nevertheless, today’s process is rather more positive, and involves rather less-terrifying-small-children-horror-film tropes.

Vessels are laid out, and attachment or banishment rituals are applied. These objects can be taken with you on your adventures to ensure spiritual protection, or to channel some serious spirit squad goals.

And this is what the film gets wrong; the objects discussed here are spirit-based. Nowhere in the theories are demons mentioned, and even in the Bible it is claimed that demons cannot attach themselves to inanimate objects.

It’s this ambiguity used in the films to mis-mash the human possession and object possession together, and the ‘based on the true story’ spiel stops there. And speaking of true stories, it’s now time to discuss all the terrifying tales surrounding our favourite haunted dolls.

The actual Annabelle story

The true story behind this infamous doll sticks closely to the brief encounter detailed in The Conjuring.

Basically, a nurse is given a doll in the twilight years of the occult, in 1975. And shit gets weird. Think the normal hauntings, from noises, to the doll moving by itself.

Concerned, they go to a medium who claims it’s the spirit of Annabelle Higgins. Believing it to be an innocent girl, they treat the spirit and doll nicely. Unfortunately, shit gets weirder.

In a time of desperation, they turn to the Warrens, who say that this is not an innocent spritely spirit. It’s a demon.

The doll is then stored away in the Warren’s museum in a case from which the doll cannot be touched, and it is here that she still resides.

But before you turn out the light to sleep knowing she is stowed away somewhere safe, bear in mind that there are quite a few cases that mirror Annabelle’s story, and although they are rather diverse in the doll-spirit relationship, they are all creepy as fuck.

The true stories behind the rest of Annabelle’s Spooky Squad

Annabelle’s rival in the paranormal world is none other than Robert the Doll. This little fella is reportedly possessed by ‘spirits’, but don’t let the vagueness of this possession fool you. As the original inspiration for Chucky, this doll certainly upholds a level of fame among those intrigued by the paranormal, and the backstory to our least favourite horror film villain starts with a bloke called Otto.

In 1906, Otto was presented a doll – fit in Robert’s sailor’s uniform – by a servant who was known to practice black magic and voodoo.

Yep, that was a definite red flag.

It was believed that the servant’s worship and frequent summoning of spirits possessed this creepy-ass doll. Indeed, he is so haunted that it is rumoured that you must ask to take a picture of him, or you will be haunted by those that take up residency in him.

Next up is Lotta the Doll.

It’s 1972, and some bloke called Kerry Whalton decides to wander around an abandoned building because why not. And its inside this building that he finds a marionette doll.

A quick trip to the archives, and a chance flick through the library books later and he calculates that this doll is believed to contain the spirit of a boy who once lived an odd 200 years before. The building he walked into that fateful day was the property of a man whose son drowned, and his final resting place is inside this doll.

It moves, it emits a pulse, dogs bark at it and attempt to attack it, and paintings fall when in its presence.

Oh, and when it’s put outside, it starts to rain.

Another famous doll is known as the Paula Ubin Barbie.

In 1914, a girl fell of a cliff and subsequently died.

In memoriam of her tragic death, a monument was constructed, and in it was her personal crucifix and a rather large amount of her hair.

Following her passing, a local resident began to have rather peculiar dreams. And in these dreams, a little girl would lead him to a toy shop, and pick out her favourite toy – a barbie.

He took the doll to the monument, and upon setting it down claims he felt the spirit transfer into the barbie and it is believed that her spirit found peace.

Our two final dolls stick to pretty standard supernatural goings-on.

Mandy does the usual: you hear the sound of footsteps, other dolls are knocked over, and she even has her own display case. And Pupa? She bangs on the case, changes position, and even fucks off when she wants to.

Honestly, do they not know how haunted dolls are supposed to behave?

[bestnoncannonship]

Alright..I'mma get in on this VC fancasting debate.

As a director, I often have a LOT of opinions on people's casting decisions. A LOT. (Someday, I'll write a novella on Ken Brannaugh's casting.) So as I see a LOT of fancasts casts based on how people look and few based on whether or not the actor can likely handle the role, I'mma throw my hat in the ring. (Warning....the more I write the less technical and more shitposty this is gonna get!) So here you go! The Vampire Chronicles series if I got to cast and direct it!!

The Brat Prince:

Most importantly....we gotta get us a Lestat. And the choice is clear:

Evan Williams: this fabulous shitposting aesthetic trash is as close to the one and only Vampire Lestat as we are gonna get on this plane of existance. He is all charm and quite light in his loafers and a complete mess.......but most importantly, he has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is able to play a character that does inexplicable and morally reprehensible things while still being read as highly sympathetic, likable, and even a hero. That's what I worry about most with Lestat. He really is a very terrible person who doesn't learn or face too many consequences. And he has to be very very very sympathetic. Not just "Oh I Stan that villain" likeable.....but a true hero. And it takes a very. Special. Actor. To pull that shit off. And this is it. This is the guy. He was hired to play an Iago-esque gay villain type in Versailles, STOLE THE SHOW OUT FROM UNDER GEORGE BLAGDEN (no mean feat as Blaggy was giving a hell of a performance) and made his character a beloved icon. Yeah....I trust him to lead a show. I trust him to be Lestat.

Nicholas L'enfant:

Okay not gonna lie I struggled with this one. There was someone else I wanted to see in this role....but I decided he was better employed elsewhere. And this is who I ended up with:

Yep. George Blagden. See...in the grand scheme of things Nikki is a very low-screentime role that has a LOT of impact on the story. And who better to trust with low screentime that the god of grantaires, who took a few small shots and lines and GAVE US A FULLY CHARACTERIZED GRANTAIRE in the Les Mis film. He is very sweet faced, and easy to like, can make being an on screen depressive fascinating instead of dull and has proven time and time again that he is the master of the complete mental breakdown, complete with horrifying but tragic crazy eyes. Also.....he bears a strong enough physical resembles to.....

Louis!!!!:

Our beautiful depressed dark angel with a vampire eating disorder who has no self esteem and is still in love with his abuser needs nuance. He needs soul. And he needs a sweet and delicate beauty. And so:

Alexaner Vlahos!!! The soulful eyes!! The delicate bone structure!!! The slight tones of simmering resentment!!! The ability to play a character that could have become VERY one note VERY quickly with goregeous amounts of nuance and sympathy!!! Vlavla has quite the varied resume. Mordred. Phillipe. Romeo. Captain Hook. To put it lightly he has a LOT of range and the one through line is he is NEVER boring. He plays a lot of roles that could very quickly become boring and one note (Romeo? Captian snooze right there!). But every second he's on screen or stage he is so completely alive in whatever he is feeling. I TRUST him to keep the entirety of Louis's brooding nuanced and fascinating for an audience and to physically and facially convey Louis's very important internal monologue that we will not be able to hear because this version is going to be from Lestat's point of veiw. I toggled with the idea of making him Nikki for a while....but ended up with Louis for 2 reasons. 1) he doesn't need the scripted plot drama Nikki has written in to make a compelling character and 2) he and Williams share such beautiful chemistry. Whenever they're together, even off screen, their focus shifts so that they orbit each other like bianary stars and any director can see that that's something that should be explored and exploited to add demension to the Louis/Lestat relationship and justify why they keep coming back to each other.

(And so ends the Men of Versailles segment of my fancast. So sue me. There's some incredible actors there.)

Let's return with

Gabrielle De Lioncourt:

The incomparable Alex Kingston, lately of River Song fame, though I met her as Elizabeth Corday, and Doctor Corday is driving this casting choice. I wanted an actor who was an appropriate age to play Williams's mother cause we don't fuck with that women are "old" at 30 shit in this house. And she can carry off the kind of "I will not hesitate to kill a man" BDE that Gabrielle requires without trying, but she's also proven herself comfortable and competent with the level of CAMP that VC requires. I can see her easily showing up on set for a few scattered episodes, slipping easily into the verse, and nailing the kind of woman who can put Lestat in his place then run back off to the jungle. Also....that De Lioncourt hair!!!!!

Marius "Daddy" Romanus:

Yep. This fuck. I can hear it now.... "Why isn't he lessssaaaat??? He's so blonde and prettttyyyyy????" Well....mainly because....I ain't sure this lil fuck can run a show as a very despicable but likeable hero yet. He's admirable. A good actor. A great villain. But not a hero and not heroically likeable. Personally, I'm of the opinion that in 10 or 15 years he will have grown into the ability to play something as complex as Lestat with likability....but for now.....DAMN is he a creepy imperial thing. He's got that "My house, my rules" vibe down. He's preditory. He's distinguished. He is Marius. And he's go the best Roman coin profile I've ever seen.

Armand:

N/A

Ok. Controversial decision....but I want to see a complete unknown as Armand. Send casting out to cast a wide net, scour the world for the Botticelli death machine. But definitely don't pull him from the pool of already famous younguns. Because your Armand needs to be deep. Skilled. And primarily UNSPOILED by the school of child acting that is forced upon child actors. (I was a commercial kid and child stage actor. It was terrible.) Go out and get some twinky fresh faced raw talent so you get depth.

Claudia:

N/A

Big old ditto on what I said above about child actors. A nice doe eyed unknown, preferably without a stage mom.

AKASHA:

Yikes. So many amazing choices!!! How do you follow Aliyah??

With literal human perfection Gina Torres of course!!! Again....I wanted to go with an older woman. Someone who would be seen as an authority to all vampires. Someone god damnned goregeous. And someone who I find intimidating. Also, since I'm skewing a little tall with this cast (at least as TV actors go) I wanted someone who comfortably stands among and above most of them! She's a seasond tested actor, and certified badass. And we know she can steal a scene. Besides if she can look regal as a queen in that weirdass dress they gave her in the serenity movie she can pull off whatever monstrosity costumes comes up with to follow the Aliyah getup.

Khayman:

Don't @ me but....I have a LOT of feelings about Khayman. I love his particularly breed of immortal insanity. I love the way immortality drove him mad into a childlike enjoyment and curiosity. And I knew exactly who has to be casted to play that combination of intimidating ancient and innocent curiosity:

This is Howard Charles. He is capable of playing both an intimidating giant and a sweet soulful cinnamon roll at the same time. I cannot sing this man's praises enough. Am I scared of him? Do I want to hug him? Both? He's also one of the best scene SHARERS I've seen on screen in a long time and that's very important in a supporting role.

Maharet:

Just because Anne Rice doesn't know shit about Mesopotamia doesn't mean we have to follow her in that. I wanted to pull from Middle Eastern or Indian populations for her to best reflect the look of the region in a time that's roughly in line with the pre-dynastic Egyptian mish-mosh associated with Akasha.

So I'm gunning for Indira Varma. When I say this woman has timeless beauty.....I mean timeless. She's as prehistorically hot as she is today. And she's such a strong actress, I want to give her a role that isn't 50% sex scenes. She's got both the warmth and the commanding strength to play Maharet. I would ideally like to get a dancer to play Mekare....someone who can handle the physical interp of the role. Probably an Indian dancer to match Indira Varma.

David Talbot:

In the newly declared tradition of Doctors playing Talbot:

This is the only current Gif I could find of Sylvester McCoy. Known to many as the Seventh Doctor. And to many as Ratagast the Brown. He embodies that sort of huffy aging britishness that David projects, but has the over the top personality that can give us those hints of the vitality of David's youth. Basically I can see this man telling stories about hunting tigers in India. Then when he gets the hot young Raglan James Body:

Luke Pasqualino. Swarthy young troublemaker. But for all the youthful good looks, he proved that he was able to play grace and gravitas as D'artagnion in the final season of the BBC Musketeers. I'd love to give him a chance to explore that deeper part. I also trust his ability to match the energy of a cast, which he did repeatedly on musketeers, and portray both the impulsive self aggrandizing Lestat in the Raglan James body and to play the DarkAU Musketeer type that is Raglan James himself.

That's literally all the Gifs I can put in a post. I know I skipped Daniel......but that's because I have surprisingly few opinions on Daniel.......he's very much a vanilla audience connecting character. I'd almost like to see an unknown in that role....just to see what we a new face could make.

And thus ends my casting of the Vampire Chronicles!!

[golddaggers]

Sparks Fly

Reader x Klaus Mikaelson

(NOT MY GIF)

*Requested

Imagine: In 1919, while looking for ripper Stefan, who went missing nearly a year ago, you have a very pleasant meeting with one the oldest vampires in existence: Klaus Mikaelson. 

Warnings: slight smut, bad words and, oh, well, it’s a vampire imagine, there’s gotta be a little blood. haha

N/A - Not quite as you requested, but I hope you like the same way, anon. :) Also, you guys could read this while listening to Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift. I heard it repeatedly when I was writing this one. 

Word Count: 2,9k+ 

Dear Damon,

I am aware of the promise I made to send you a letter every month, so you know that I’m alive, but things have been a bit messy lately. Moving from one place to another has not given me much time to write. Actually, my only true focus is finding our brother and getting him back to his old self. Perhaps I’ll be able to do that here in New Orleans, which, by the way, is a wonderful city. You should be here to see the night lights and cheerful dances.

Oh, shucks! That reminds me I have got to meet up with my friend Lexi in twenty minutes at this famous pub. Apparently, the Original family is here, oh yes, the family who created all other vampires, and goes there every evening, she thought it would be a cool way to blow off some steam while we don’t find Stefan.

She might have a solid point, I guess.

Well, I will not extend myself, because I have to leave, however, don’t worry about me, everything is fine and I got the feeling this it. So, soon enough, we’ll be joining you in Paris.

I miss like crazy those cold winter days!

Anyway, kisses and hugs to you from your loving sister.

Love you,

Y/N.

You dropped the beautiful pen on the table and sighed, thinking that what you were telling him was more than enough. Sure Damon would be pleased to hear you were still alive, because, in his mind, chasing emotionless Stefan was a dead end job. Not that he was entirely wrong, but you were never the kind of girl who would leave someone behind, especially if that someone was your own flesh and blood.

“Y/N Salvatore!” A voice cut through the silence of your house. “I can’t believe you’re not ready yet.”

“Hey, Lexi!” You smiled and stood up, moving smoothly towards the majestic mahogany wooden wardrobe. “I completely forgot we were supposed to go out tonight! That’s why I’m not-”

“Don’t make excuses!”

“I promise you I am not.” This time an angry huff slipped, as you divert your eyes to the well-hung dresses, not being sure which one you were going to pick.

The blonde, who had her arms crossed tightly against her chest while leaning into the wall next to your bedroom’s door, rolled her eyes at you and caved in, like she always did, coming closer to help you get dressed. Lexi always had a good eye for fashion, which made anyone look absurdly fabulous once they had been advised by her.

A short while later, after your friend decided what was suitable for the place, you stared yourself in the mirror, feeling ready to steal any man’s heart because the baby pink gown you had on highlighted your every curve, also giving an insinuating gleam to your once innocent traits. Absolutely perfect to a girls night out.

“Uh, pumpkin, we should go.” Lexi called me out, once she realised how late it was. “It’s awfully late.”

“Oh, I’m sure it doesn’t really matter.” Your reply was gentle, as you worked on your Y/H/C wild curls. “But if it means that much to you, we can go now. And maybe we’ll even find Stefan there or at least a lead on his whereabouts.”

“Oh no.” A gentle snort escaped as she shook her head. “We’re shutting off the ‘get my baby brother back’ thing for a night.”

“That’s what I came here to do, Lexi.”

“Oh shut up about it!” Now her index finger was pointed sharply on your face. “Now listen to me: I know you love him and that he is very important to you. But not everything is about Stefan. Or Damon. You are your own person, so live a bit and enjoy the pleasures of life.”

Somehow, you were not able to shout out a rude response. Instead, after a couple of minutes, you exhaled tiredly and nodded, agreeing that she was right. Lexi squeezed the bare skin of your shoulder and you glanced up at her, finding her so sweet and comforting brown eyes.

“Can we please have some fun now?”

“Sure, blondie.”

“Now that’s the Y/N I know.”

You two share a quick, confidant laugh and leave the cosy pension room, going to your natural habitat: the darkness.

You tapped your feet nervously on the floor, tugging at the thin tissue of your dress and looking from side to side. Normally you wouldn’t feel like this whenever you had to be alone, which, by the way, you were because your so-called best friend decided she needed to dance with a random guy for so random reason. Still, there was something about this place that made you uneasy, although you could not quite place it just yet.

The martini glass you ordered was lying lazily on the table, but, long ago, you realised that alcohol was not what you were craving. Matter fact, you did not even want that, it was only to keep the appearances. One thing did manage to capture your attention, though. A tall, dark guy who gave you the eye all night long. Heck, he smelt delicious.

It’s settled then, you thought, licking your lips and smiling at him. A shy wave followed your previous actions. That was clearly an invitation for him to come closer and he took your lure, walking towards you rather fast.

“Good evening, Ms…?”

“Salvatore. But you can call me Y/N.”

“That is a lovely name” The guy whispers, taking your hand and kissing its back while glancing at you with lustful eyes. “I’m Thomas Maxwell.”

Leaning in, you stared deep into his eyes, it was time to make sure poor Tom wouldn’t let out a peep about what was going to go down next. The compulsion was easy since your diet consisted of human blood entirely. That was so because, unlike your baby brother, you had amazing control of your thirst and only killed if it was strictly necessary.

“Well, Mr Maxwell, what do you say we go outside to catch some fresh air? I’m feeling a bit claustrophobic here.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” The man stutters, offering you his arm which you accepts gladly. “I am sorry if I’m crossing some lines, but I just have to say you look beautiful tonight.”

“So kind of you to say that!”

You couldn’t blame him for being completely numb under the effect of your presence. Although human’s inner self-preservation instinct should repel the vampire allure, it did the exact opposite, pushing them straight to their deaths.

The air outside was cold, bringing a set of shivers to startle you, making Thomas sympathetically wrap his coat around your shoulders. You smiled shyly, watching as he bit his bottom lip, heart pounding so fast against his ribcage you thought he would have a heart attack.

“So, Ms Salvatore, what brings you to New Orleans?” Thomas blurts out, one of his thumbs nervously circling the back of his other hand. At his bluntness, you look away, not wanting to think about Stefan right now. “Oh, I am deeply sorry… I just figured you were new and-”

Two of your delicate fingers were placed softly against his lips, shutting him off completely. Then one chuckle slips, you just couldn’t help yourself. It was amusing how they all acted under your overwhelming presence. You have always been told that, even by other vampires. That your scent was so intoxicating they had trouble knowing how to contain themselves.

“We don’t have to talk about this,” It was barely a whisper, your hands slowly descending to his neck, making it all so sensual. “do we?”

“No.” His lips quivered in anticipation. “C-Can I… Ugh…”

Watching him meticulously, you raised a brown and clamped your lower lip between your teeth. They all seemed so alike, always stuttering and looking naive… It was what made the hunt so interesting: seeing how far they would resist to the trap’s temptation.

“Oh, Mr Maxwell…” Your voice low, a finger pulling him closer and closer to be caged against a bricked wall. “Do you wish for one of my kisses?”

“I do.”

Another taunting grin surfaces as you slip one sharp nail against the soft flesh of his neck. The carotid was pumping heavily, the adrenaline stench driving you insane. Way too good for you waste any other moment to finally taste it.

Thomas Maxwell didn’t scream when you climbed his body, hooking your legs around his waist as your teeth ferociously tore his throat apart, blood gushing across your face as you drank it down, moaning to the sweet taste of it. Feeding made you high, your body warming up as your desires were slowly fulfilled. He weakened beneath you, both of you falling down as he had no strength to keep the position.

“Hmm, I can’t tell what looks hotter, sweetheart, you or the fine drink you’re having.” A pleased tone coming from a man’s voice snapped you out of the frenzy the blood got you into. “I suppose I have to savour your lips first to make my choice.”

Regardless of Thomas’ fading hands still grazing your sensitive skin, your bodies still very much close to one another, it was not quite this proximity that made your body, especially not the middle of your legs, warm up like that, throbbing unconsciously. You bit your tongue to prevent a groan, standing up, your dress crooked and your face possibly covered in blood.

“May I know who are you?”

“Oh sweetheart, I am slightly disappointed you haven’t heard about me yet.” He brought your hand to his plump, pink lips, the roughness of his stubble scraping the skin. “I am Klaus Mikaelson.”

A sudden change of your demeanour makes him laugh, he’s aware you know about his fame, what he’s done and what he is. Your mind, on the other hand, is running, unable to focus, unable to convince you that the oldest vampire in existence, the most dangerous one too, was actually flirting with you. And also, no matter how crazy it sounds, you thought about how you’d never doubt Lexi’s word: Klaus Mikaelson was the most handsome man you had ever laid your eyes on.

“Y/N Salvatore.”

“Hmm, are you related somehow to a vampire named Stefan?” Klaus quizzes, one of his eyebrows quirking.

“Yes, that’s my brother’s name. Do you know him?” You ask gently, your eyes glued to him in childish excitement. “I have been looking for him.”

“Yes, sweetheart, I do him. We have become quite good friends.” The thickness in his accent makes you shudder, your lips in a grim line to refrain a pant. Your mind betrays you by thinking about his tone mellowish, calling out for you as you go down your him, tasting him. Your heat throbs to the thought. “But I have no wishes to talk about him. Not when a beauty such as yourself is standing in front of me.”

“What do you want from me?” There’s a slight falter in your voice, which doesn’t go unnoticed by him, who inches closer to you. “I don’t have anything-”

“You see, sweetheart, I am curious about you.” Now there was only a fair share of steps between you, his hands close enough to toy around with the drapes on your dress. A shiver crawls down your spine. “You have a scent, one that has gotten me here. Like a puppy who needs to be taken care of. You reek of it. And I needed to take a closer look at it.”

The nudge of his nose on your jawline got you throwing your head back, exposing your neck further to him, his lips licking off the drops of dry blood from your neck. You can’t hold back the soft ah that leaves your lips stubbornly. It was insane. You had never done such thing, never allowed your guard down to a stranger, still, you couldn’t help it. Not when he was near you, his presence making your stomach twist, your insides achy and claiming for him.

“K-Klaus, what are we doing?” It goes off with a broken whimper, his large hand nearing your ass. “This is insane, we don’t even know each other.”

“Does it matter, dear?” Klaus replies hoarsely.

A gush of heat washes your figure as he presses himself into you, the growing bulge inside his pants rubbing lightly your centre. Your hands fly to the nape of his neck, tugging at the blond hair there, you have to refrain your craving to run your nails down, dipping into his loose shirt, feeling what the warmness of his skin is like.

“No.” The lowest of whispers, but Klaus smiles. “It doesn’t, really.”

“Come with me, then.”

His hands now squeeze your back, pulling you up to wound your legs around his waist. Klaus has you pinned against the wall, his scent intoxicating you, like green leaves and petrichor. Your gut screamed for you to say yes, to surrender to him, feel the size of him inside of you. It certainly wouldn’t come into the occasion you had met him only a few minutes ago.

“Klaus! I have been looking for you.” A known voice startled you, a voice you’d recognise anywhere and had been yearning to hear it for quite a while. “Rebekah wants to talk to you-Y/N? What are you doing here?”

The sting of betrayal hurts as you pull away from Klaus, glaring at your baby brother with sad eyes. He looks cold and distant like he hasn’t missed you for a second. Like he hasn’t thought about you. The one who cared for him, who defended him from their father. It wasn’t fair what Stefan was doing.

“Oh brother, in this scenario, I’m the one asking the questions.”

“What for? I have told you, and Damon, countless times that I don’t want your help.” Stefan rolls his eyes, in a mocking attitude. “I’m fine.”

“Oh, but you don’t fool me.” Anger was boiling within your veins, mixing with your blood and making you growl. Oh, how you wanted to smack the hell out of that boy. “If there’s anybody who knows you, that’s me, now-”

“Honey, I’m going to be straight with you, okay? I don’t care, I don’t flip back on and I want you to stop trying.”

“You really don’t know me, do you?”

Stefan shrugs off, diverting his attention to the man still standing beside you, annoying flickering on his fair eyes. “Rebekah wants to talk you. Find her. Now I have to go, there’s a girl who’s waiting for me.”

"Stefan!”

Yet, before you were able to follow him and kick his ass for acting like that, Klaus grips you by your wrist, forbidding you to do so, which made you even madder. For a split second, you wonder if Klaus’ true intentions were to spoil the first time you saw your brother after almost a year and crush your expectations on ever turning on his humanity switch. Anger bubbles throughout your figure and you roughly free yourself from his grasp.  

“That’s why you came here?” Your voice is higher than it should be. “To mess up my plans?”

“Mind your tone, sweetheart.” Klaus snarled. “Don’t forget who I am.”

“Answer me!” With hands splayed across his chest, you narrow your eyes, still angrily shouting. “Come on!”

“No.” Klaus finally answers. “I didn’t even know you were his sister until you told me. And I’m honestly not interested in more family drama, I have my own to cover that.”

Of course, you knew it wasn’t his fault. How could it be? Truthfully, you wanted to find somebody else to place your failure but yourself. It was on you that your brother was like that. Once you admit that to yourself, feeling defeated, you allow the welled up tears to streak down, staining your cheeks. You were weak. So weak that you couldn’t even stand up, falling to your knees.

Klaus sighed, kneeling in front of you and raising your chin, exposing you to a deep blue-eyed stare, it was like facing a wide, rebellious ocean. Your breathing was still uneven and it only grew worse when he, carefully, stroke your cheeks, wiping the stupid teardrops that kept streaming down your face like someone had turned the faucet in your eyes on.

“I am sorry I look so pathetic…” It was a sincere apology, Klaus was an unknown person who didn’t need to be in the middle of this. “You can leave me here if you want, I’ll be fine.”

"I don’t normally do this, dear, but I like you, so I’ll open an exception.”

“Excuse me?”

He wraps your waist with his arms and helps you to stand back on your feet, a little exhausted. Almost as if someone injected vervain directly on your neck, pumping it continuously to your heart.

“I’m going to take you on a date.” A gorgeous smile curved his lips, enlightening his entire face. “I almost made you my own, it’s only fair. And it’ll help to forget all that drama.”

"One night with the mighty Mikaelson?” You look up, scratching your neck and pretending you were thinking about it still. “What the heck, I don’t have anything to lose, anyway.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure you will come back for more.”

“Drop the smug act.”

“Quit being a cry baby.”

As both of you laughed, walking away from that dark alley, you thought you had never met someone as intense as Klaus Mikaelson. It was definitely going to be an unforgettable night and, fuck, Lexi should set her ears ready to hear every single detail because you were sure it was going to be wild. And, if your luck twists a little, very much naughty as well.

[ahumanfemale]

Professional Distance - I

So AU it’s an alternate galaxy.

Summary:  Dean Winchester is an editor known for his critical eye and keen insight, finding himself a famed name in the world of romance novels. No matter the material that crosses his desk Dean has always been able to maintain his professional distance. Until Donna Hanscum. As if his crush on the effervescent blonde weren't incapacitating enough, now she's introduced a love interest to her latest novel that seems suspiciously like... him.

Author:  (A)HumanFemale

Pairing:  Dean Winchester x Donna Hanscum

I

Dean Winchester had been an editor for going on twelve years, since graduating college with his degree in literature. A quick study with a critical eye, he’d come with a slew of recommendations from professors and the assurance he’d have a bestseller in his first year. He’d gone into the field hoping to land a position in fantasy or science fiction - dragons and space battles. You want to know where he’d ended up instead?

Romance.

Sweet inspirational love stories and depraved erotica all came across his desk, demanding his careful eye and effortless marketing. It turned out that selling romances was a lot easier when the man selling it was quick with a smile and easy on the eyes. So they told him, anyway. In just over a decade he’d climbed from untested newbie to a big name - someone in demand, who got to be picky about what he took on. There were a few people who had balked at a man editing chick lit but he brushed them off. Oddly enough, he enjoyed it. Romance wasn’t something he’d normally read and that gave him the ability to distance himself enough from the work to be critical of it. To find errors and plot holes that needed to be addressed. The racier stuff didn’t bother him - he was able to maintain his professional distance. It didn’t hurt that all the authors to take the chair across from his desk tended to look and sound like his mother.

Until Donna Hanscum.

That wasn’t the name on her book covers - no, for that she’d chosen something so obviously fake it made him cringe - but it was the one he’d written in his calendar for that afternoon at three o’clock. Donna reminded him exactly nothing of his mother. Where Mary Winchester was sharp lines and wry grins, Donna was all curves and boisterous laughter. She had an accent that constantly made his mouth twitch up in a smile that stayed with him for the rest of the day. She also wrote things that made him loosen his tie and clear his throat when he edited late at night, in bed with his laptop and a beer.

Donna wrote paranormal romance. More specifically, she wrote about a voluptuous blonde whose job was to hunt down and kill the paranormal. Usually with a male partner who was different in every installment, all of whom found themselves enamored with her by the end of the book. After a long hunt and a bloody kill she took her fill of the guy, typically on the hood of her muscle car before driving off into the sunset with a wink and a smile. Unless, of course, they died.

Her work fit the market trend toward this kind of thing perfectly and she wrote it well, keeping her heroine just this side of relatable and worthy of cheering on. Readers ate it up and she was writing full time now, having quit her job as a small town sheriff back in Minnesota.

Which was why they had this meeting set up, discussing the sixth installment of her series. Her first ten chapters were due today and she’d insisted on bringing them in on paper, as she was running behind and hadn’t had a chance to transcribe them to a word document. Fine with him. He thought better when he could scribble notes and refer back to them later.

He checked his clock.

3:12.

“I’m here!” she crowed as though reading his mind, throwing open the door to his office so that the potted plant next to it shook and threatened to topple over. “Sorry! So sorry, Dean, I’m here.”

“I can see that,” he smirked, waiting for her to orient herself as she shut the door and smoothed her wavy hair away from her face. “Make it into the city okay?”

“Oh, yah, always,” she said, facing him with a bright smile as she sashayed her way to him. He did his best to avoid following the sway of her hips as she walked. “How are ya doing, handsome? Working hard?”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, always.” She threw herself down into the chair opposite his desk and exhaled loudly. She was dressed in leggings the color of cotton candy with lipstick to match, covered in a bright white poncho with what looked like owls patterned across it. Why in God’s name did this drive him crazy? It wasn’t exactly leather and lace. Still, the thought of peeling it off gave him just as much of a thrill.

He needed to put a lid on it.

“So, uh… you got something for me?”

“Anytime ya want it, sugar,” she said with a lascivious wink that she followed up with a full laugh. Just in case his blood pressure wasn’t high enough. “Just kidding. Yeah, I’ve got it here. Hold on.”

She handed him a leaf of wide-ruled notebook paper, bent and tattered and covered with the flamboyant whirls and loops of her now-familiar handwriting. There were more than a few coffee stains and doodles on the margins, the most common theme being what looked like a unicorn chasing a robber. It was held together with a thick clamp at the top, making it almost impossible to flip through the pages.

“That’s… um. That’s original,” he said lamely, looking over it.

“I know! I’m so sorry. If ya don’t mind waiting a few days I’ll transcribe it but I know they’re holding us to a pretty strict deadline so I didn’t want them to come for your head.”

“I appreciate that,” he said, nodding before gently placing her manuscript to the side. “So, who is Chloe Ransom killing these days? Shapeshifters or ghosts?”

“Tracking a wendigo through the deep dark woods, actually,” she said, beaming. “With a sweet hunk of forest ranger to keep her company, of course.”

“Of course,” he said with a smile. “Well, I have some cover art to go over with you and there have been a few changes in your contract for the next three books…”

-- X --

It was after seven before Dean made it back to his townhouse, yawning and swinging a big bag of takeout along with his briefcase. Donna’s manuscript - such as it was - was like a lead weight on his arm, begging to be hauled up and read to death. He’d told himself that if he got through the other chapters vying for his attention he could read all of Donna’s tonight over dinner. He’d chosen a greasy burger and fries - Chloe Random’s main staple as she flitted from bar to bar, looking for cases and any excuse to pull out the armory in her trunk.

Dean tossed his jacket and tie as he situated himself on one end of his couch, turning to stretch his legs over the cushions. He’d placed a cold beer on the coffee table next to him and kicked his shoes off. Burger in one hand and Donna’s manuscript in the other, he dug in. The handwriting baffled him occasionally but he was able to decipher it if he tilted it far enough to the side.

The first few chapters were easy to fly through. Chloe was back in the saddle after a nest of vampires tried to turn her into lunch in the last book - they’d succeeded with her partner. Poor Sam. But now she was coming out of mourning and out of her recovery, looking to kick some ass. He scribbled a few notes on the sides but Dean didn’t slow down until close to chapter nine, when something like suspicion prickled over his skin.

Chloe stepped into the office, grateful for the air conditioning after the sauna that was the inside her car. Appalachia in the dead heat of summer wasn’t a picnic. She could only hope her deodorant was up to the job, because the man behind the desk ahead of her was more likely to have her sweating than the blazing sun outside.

Dark blond hair cut short and tousled to look like he’d just run his fingers through it, a sharp jaw, and lethally green eyes. A few shallow crow’s feet that turned his face from pretty to something closer to devastating. It was the eyes that held her attention the longest, at least until he smiled. Then her eyes snapped to the ever so slightly elongated canines nestled into his otherwise straight white teeth. A hint of the primal, hidden among the mundane. She couldn’t help her mind wandering to which part of her anatomy he’d sink those teeth into first.

Dean paused, looking up and away from the words on the page.

He fought the urge to run for a mirror, checking his own reflection against the description in the story. Unconsciously his tongue drew up to rub against his top teeth, the ever so slight edge on his canines now roaring to the forefront of his attention. Were they longer? Certainly not longer than average. No one had ever called them out to him, anyway, but there it was... a bare millimeter jutting out from the line of the rest of his teeth.  

His attention went back to the story.

“You must be Detective Ransom,” the supermodel-turned-park ranger said, standing from his chair to offer his hand. Cripes, he was even tall. Just tall enough to make her look up at him through her lashes like the hussy she was.

“That’s me,” she affirmed, taking his hand in her own. Calluses, she noticed. The man did real work. “Sorry, they didn’t give me your name when I left the precinct. I was out the door like a flash.”

“Daniel,” he told her, “Daniel Wesson. But just Dan is fine.”

Son of a bitch.

Dean put the manuscript down to run his hand over his face. Was he crazy? Was he imagining all this? He wasn’t any more or less self-absorbed than the next guy, but come on. There’s seeing yourself in everything and then there’s seeing yourself when someone has obviously written about you.

He finished the remainder of the portion in record time, not even bothering to pick up his pen to make notes. Dan and Chloe sat and talked about the case - a slew of missing hikers, remains never found. Chloe didn’t mention her added knowledge of a pattern just like this one going back forty years, and then another set of disappearances forty years before that. Dan was forthcoming and Chloe was invested, eager to put down the monster and get back to her hometown in Minnesota with enough time for her sister’s wedding. Chapter ten finished with Chloe packing her gear and heading to the mouth of the forest, a flask on her hip and Dan at her side.

His burger had grown cold and his beer had fallen flat at some point but it didn’t matter. The pages in his hand had captivated him to such an extent that he doubted he’d notice if someone kicked in his front door. Before he knew what he was doing he had grabbed his cell phone off the coffee table and flipped to Donna’s number. It was there… inviting him to press on it. A text, even. She was probably still in the city.

Dean closed the application and set the phone back down.

He was getting a little worked up. Overreacting because of his… preoccupation with her. Authors were known to take people and places from their real lives and put them into their fictional ones. That wasn’t so unusual, although he’d never seen a suspiciously similar version of himself in anyone else’s work. The only way to solve this, of course, was more data.

He needed more chapters.