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nopenname23 · 4 years

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here’s a shitpost of me playing the click and drag game <3

If you wanna play too, here’s the link X.

KUROO is your Best Friend & BOKUTO is your Sibling

THE KUROO AND BOKUTO FRIENDSHIP ALDKJASDLK. Just living for the imagery of your older brother and your best friend having the BEST broromance?!?

I love it. You’d be the three musketeers

Bokuto is the best big bro and u won’t tell me otherwise

He’d definitely act like 5 years younger than you sometimes, even though he’s a year older

You’d call him nii-chan esp when he’s in emo/baby mode

You’d pep him up in a second when you say “but nii-chan can do anything!”

[[Akaashi (despite his understanding of Kou and abilities to control his funk) is admittedly quite jealous of the immediacy and certainty of your ways]]

Anyways, yeah yeah, kuroo was your brother’s bffl first

But over time he’s just been really dependable and like the /actual/ older bro of your group

Guh I love this dynamic a lot

ATSUMU is your Rival

Same year.

Same class.

Every year.

Sometimes you think it’s fate’s cruel joke.

You’ve got a rivalry going with Atsumu that has only been going on since pre K

It started with you two competing to make the biggest and prettiest sandcastle

To this day, no one knows who stomped on whose first, but everyone remembers the tears and the screaming blame game

In the present, he’s your rival in the sense that you try your best to destroy each other’s egos

Relentlessly.

Your interests are vastly different, but your temperaments are quite the match

Aka Atsumu loooves your reactions

And you take his bait Every. Time.

At the end of the day tho, somehow you still got each other's backs

You stick with the same circle of friends

There's this one time when you gave him the silent treatment for a while and he was very very confused.

He tried to play nice but even then u weren't having it

(Tbh it was like shaking the bottle of a carbonated drink. You felt it, but you seemingly had the patience of a saint)

Atsumu starts to get hurt by this bc even though you never gave each other a break, he's never considered you not a friend

He withdraws and his silence actually shakes the bottle more somehow

So when he mutters an offhand comment about you always being late under his breath at a group hangout

You burst.

LIKE YOU DON'T MAKE US ALL WAIT WHILE YOU PUT THE GREASE ON YOUR MUSTARD HEAD?

o.o

He's stunned (along with everyone else) but it only lasts a second bc everything is back to normal and this feels way better than being ignored

Ughhh why don't you just go home it seems like you haven't prepared your public manners yet >:(

"Don't worry, y/n. I'm not going anywhere. :)"

"KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF BUD ISTG—"

"Did you hear that everyone?? We're buds :)"

TENDOU Plays Volleyball with You

When you were younger, you’d accompany Kou and Kuroo to the community volleyball spaces

And when no one Tendou’s age wanted to play with him, there you were

And the cutest friendship blossomed <3

It was fun, he taught you a lot (and while your technique has improved, you don’t love the effort it takes to chase the ball lol)

You mostly just toss back and forth while you gossip

You both are THE BIGGEST shittalkers

You LIVE to just chat and each other’s antics (you both like to poke fun at others’ egos and laugh about it together later lol. I love a bully duo)

Dw this duo doesn’t make their victims cry or anything

Like max is poking fun at Semi’s casual clothes and saying he looks weird (even though he looks damn fiineee)

SEMI Takes You Out on a Date

speaking of Semi...

SEMISEMISEMI

[[PLEASE TAKE ME OUT MY MUSICALLY GIFTED BB]]

You’ve lowkey crushed on this beauty for a while

But there’s like too many degrees of separation between ya

He goes to tendou’s school, he works at the record store, he’s in a local band

He's so cool and hot and you have no nerve to talk to him

Luckily (or not) tendou somehow makes a date happen

(Tbh I don't think semi knows it's supposed to be a date but it def is for you!!)

You've only waited your whole life for this moment.

You’d go to the movies or something generic (bc you want to plan it out to a tee and make it perfect so u go with cliche bc this is everything you want to tell your grandkids etc)

Yay! Date with semi~

KAI Cockblocks You

(fyi I know next to nothing about Kai, but he gives off v nice guy with a nice smile vibes)

So on your date with Semi, Kai also happens to be working at the movies that day

You’ve been v excited about this date and have maybe overprepared

(as in pretty much scripted the entire thing)

Part of your plan was to see the latest horror film (you think it’ll make you look tough... and you pre-watched it so that you wouldn’t do anything too embarrassing and could come up with quippy lines/reactions)

As you approach the ticket counter, there’s this guy there with a nametag reading Kai

Turns out that horror movie is sold out :/

So Kai suggests a different movie bc it’s playing at the same time

-This is fineeeee. You’ll make do. Stick to the script.-

Too bad the movie’s a Schindlers List type of show

Everything goes NOT according to plan from this point on

You act super awkward (aka major performance anxiety)

You say lines that you prepared for the jumpscare scenes at the dramatic ones in this film

It. is. Not. cute.

No recovery available.

Sorry.

You had plans to eat after but it was a heavy movie and semi thinks it'd be best to part ways here

O.o

"oh. ok...bye"

You don't go to the record store anymore.

Sigh.

So, therefore, Kai inadvertently “ruined all and any semblance of romantic feels that could and would have developed!!”

It’s no fault of his own, but you refuse to forgive him. Ever.

Poor guy :(

(Later you see him playing at a Nekoma match with Kuroo, ur bffl, and you highkey shoot him glares the whole game lol. Gives him SEVERE shivs)

Again, poor guy.

KITA was your First Kiss

When you were in middle school Kita was your first kiss after some freak ‘accident’ on suna’s part HAHA

[[or maybe, casual middle school bf bc he was the nicest friend and you walked home together, held hands, and then tried to kiss and were both like lol nah]]

Dw he’s been very chill about the whole thing, apologises and lets you know it doesn’t count and he’s still your pal (sweet bb)

Atsumu looked on with a surprised raised eyebrow open mouthed look like D8<

If anything, Atsumu is the one who doesn't let anyone forget this happened

YAMAGUCHI Has a Crush on You

Yamaguchi (and all other ‘nice boys’) crush on you because you give off sweet and quiet and perfect wife-y material vibes

Little do they know when you’re with your pals, you’re the rowdiest of the bunch, got the mouth of a sailor, and just the biggest roaster of anyone and everyone

So he has a crush on you for a while

But he never talks to you and that's cool~

?????? Is Your Boyfriend

Tbh i have no clue who that character is... dkm lol

You probably had a period where you forgot his name too

You call him petnames to get around that

You’re mostly dating bc he confessed to you and he seems like he rly likes you so you thought the attention would be nice :)

Atsumu definitely gives you the HARDEST time when he catches on that you don’t know your bf’s name/anything about him.

It is 100p THE. WORST.

He def baits you when you’re in a large group setting with your bf to embarrass you (ex. “Okay, now y/n is going to order us by our first names/birthdays/day we first met her! >:)”)

Yeah, so this relationship lasts longer than it realistically should (but not really that long, you don’t waste ur best years with him or anything)

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq au #haikyuu au #kuroo #bokuto #tendou #atsumu #kita #kai #semi #yamaguchi #my writing #my shitpost lol #haiykuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios

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madamsixx · 4 years

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Beyond The Leather Chapter 27: Ignoring Nikki

Warning: Mentions of drug use

Model Iman Darlington takes spotlight at London Fashion Week.

Model Iman Darlington took centre stage at London Fashion Week on Saturday night with a gala charity benefit at the impressive setting of the world famous British Museum.

At the event, the British Museum's steps and foyer became a red carpet staging area for fashionable elite who passed the time drinking chilled champagne and margaritas while last minute checks were made on the models' makeup and outfits. This is Karen Dupont for BBC News.

I smiled watching the news. I felt so proud of my self that people talked about me for London fashion week. I mean there were other models but they mostly recognized me as the top model. I was getting called for more magazine shoots, more commercial ads, and more auditions for movies. It was like a dream come true.

I heard a knock on my door as I was getting ready for the fashion show. I looked out the peek hole and saw Nikki standing there. Didn't he say he was leaving today? I opened the door and saw a big smile plastered on his face.

"I thought you were leaving today?" I asked.

"I am but I was just thinking about what you said yesterday. About us being friends." He spoke softly.

I moved to the side to let him come into my room. He walked in and sat down on the arm chair of the couch. And crossed his arms over his chest.

"If you say your going to be my friend it means that if I call you to hang out you'll come out right?"

"Well yeah...but..but if I'm not busy." I point at him.

"But it's not even just that. If I need you in some way. Will you actually be there for me?" He asked with concern.

I didn't know what to say cause my plan was to distance my self slowly.

"I mean, I don't want you to tell me that you're my friend but you're actually fucking around and lying to me. It will piss me off."

I sighed. "I am your friend and if you call me I will be there for you." I assured him.

"Promise." He asked with worry.

Oh God no! If I make this promise I'm doomed. Nikki isn't a bad person it's just the drugs that makes me not want to be around him.

"I promise." I smiled. He got up and took my hand in his and kissed them. "I have to head out. I wanna watch you walk one day at a fashion show. I'm sure I'll enjoy watching those hips and ass sway side to side." He grinned.

"Nikki." I rolled my eyes. "Get out of my room."

He kissed my cheek and started heading out my door. "Oh your going to be in Italy on the 18 right? Milan?" He stopped and turned around raising a brow.

"Y...yes...wait what?" I asked with confusion. I never told him I was going to Italy.

"Here." He says pulling out a paper from his jacket pocket. "These are the places we're going to next and the hotels were staying at so you can call me." He walks bringing me the paper. "I'll call you at your hotel." He smirks and walks back out of my room.

"Wait...wait Nikki." I poke my head out of my room. "I never told you I was going to Italy. Who's giving you my information?" I raised my voice.

He had his bags in the hall and pushed the elevator button. He turned and smirked at me. "Bye princess." He got into the elevator and left.

Ok what the hell, how does he know where I'm going to be?

The show was a success again. Tomorrow would be the last show and then I would be flying out right away to Milan. I was very excited.

____

February 18, 1986

I just finished the last show in London. I had a couple hours to spare so I decided on hanging with the girls before I had to leave for Milan. I realized that the only time I would get to sleep is on the plane. As soon as I get there I would have to quickly shower and get ready for the fashion show.

We all went out to eat and talked about how fun it was. I thought to my self that the show was fun, but I didn't get the experience I truly wanted. Nikki Sixx is to blame for that. My fondest memory on this trip is Valentine's Day and how he was nearly thrown into the trash like nothing. I'm hoping to make good memories in Milan and not think about these ones in London.

Vince had called me to say that he's seen me on the news and wanted to hang out as soon as I got back. I told him for sure we can. Nikki also called but he was completely high out of his mind. He was slurring non stop and didn't make any sense. He rambled on and on about making me happy, and us moving in together, and how I hurt him. I had to tell him to go to sleep and call me when he's sober. I couldn't be bothered with him at the moment right now. I even started thinking about the promise I made to be there for him, I guess I could try to.

Who am I kidding, I have a lot going on with me right now I won't be able to focus on him. Besides he's a grown ass man and should be able to get himself together. It's the life he chose.

When I get to Italy I planned on sight seeing and taking pictures. Plus Derek called and asked me if he could come up and check me out. I called Tamara and asked her what she thought about it. She was more than happy she was ecstatic. She kept on saying make sure paparazzi catch us together. Well with Derek planning on making a trip to Milan I guess I will have no time to call Nikki or even answer his calls. There.. now I have an excuse to ignore his calls. _____

February 1986, Paris

Nikki's POV

"I'm sorry Mr.Sixx, Miss Darlington is still not available. Would you like to leave another message?"

I slammed the phone down in anger. I have been calling her for 3 days since she reached Milan and she's not answering her phone. Is she ignoring me? Why would she do that when she said that we should be friends again? I even gave her my information of where I would be staying so that she could call me as well.

I pulled out a bindle of coke and lined it on the table. I snorted it up then made another line and snorted that one up too.

I feel like fucking shit today. Last night I wanted to run out and look for heroin, but I forced my self to lie in bed and wait for sleep to come. I wasn't going to kick heroin, but maybe it was time to slow down. I started trying to control my intake. I'd shoot up one day, then stay clean the next. Somtimes I'd go as many as three days without shooting up.

But I'm just fooling myself. I'm so addicted to it that I can't stop. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a knock on my door.

"Hey dude."

"Hey T bone." I moved to the side so he could come in.

"Wow man you look like shit." He laughed and sat down on the chair by the table.

"Yeah I feel like it too." I sat on my bed leaning my back against the head board. I wonder if I should call her again?

Tommy pulled out and baggy and made some lines on the table. "Hey Sixx what's up with you?" He says as he starts snorting the lines.

"Mani's not answering my calls. It's been 3 fucking days and she hasn't got back to me. I knew she was just fucking around." I spat and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Bro she's probably sight seeing. Let her live. Besides when she gets back to LA you can chase her down all you want."

"You don't fucking get it Tommy." I huffed.

"Ok tell me Sixx." Tommy rubbed his nose and turned to me.

I sighed. "We've had intimate conversations Tommy. She's told me about her life and her family. How her dad left her mom when they were growing up because he wanted to fuck some other whore. I even told her about my life and the things I've gone through. I'm comfortable around her, like I don't have to hide who I am. And she sees right through my bull shit. At first I just wanted us to fuck each other. And I mean only each other with no label to it. But now I feel different. Especially when she told me she's a virgin. I feel very different about her. I don't want anyone else having her. It'll kill me Tommy."

Tommy let out a humorous laugh."Trust me Sixx I do get it. I feel for Heather what you feel for Iman." He made a couple more lines on the table and started snorting them up.

I felt agitated and angry. One because I haven't had a fix since last night and two because fucking Iman was ignoring me. You can't just block someone out for three days straight. I left her several messages so theres no excuse why she wouldn't get back to me. And I would think that after the night I gave her when we went on the tour bus, walked around London, and me winning her that bear that she would want to speak to me.

I feel hurt and angry, she's just like the rest of those prissy model bitches. Why did I ever look at her like she was any different. In truth she actually started out different. She was nice and genuine, but now it seems to me as she's getting bigger in fame so is her attitude. ____

It was our last show today in paris. Warren DeMartini from Ratt and Phil Collen from Def Leppard are jamming with us on stage. We had a blast we kicked ass. I decided to act like a dick after the show. I saw the camera following us backstage so I decided to pull my dick out and flash the audience. I thought it was funny.

I didn't really feel like sticking around for the after party. The guys were pretty shocked when I told them I wanted to head back to the hotel and be left alone. Mick padded me on the back and gave me a genuine smile. I opened up to Mick about how I felt about Iman. He was the first person who knew. I got back to the hotel to check and see if she returned my calls or left me any messages.

"Hey has any body called me or left me any messages?" I asked the hotel clerk. "Im Nikki Sixx."

She looked at her book flipping through pages. "Mmm no Mr. Sixx sorry there are no messages for you." She politely spoke.

I walked away and headed up stairs to my room. When I got in I sat by the phone. I stared at it for some time wondering if I should call again or just leave it. I can't believe she's ignoring me I can't believe she's fucking treating me like shit. I grabbed the phone and dialed her hotel again. We were going to be leaving soon and heading back to LA and it was pissing me off. I know I wouldn't get to see her because her cunt manager Tamara was always on her case making sure that she stays away from big bad Nikki.

"Hello front desk, how may I help you?"

"Hi this is Nikki Sixx, is Iman Darlington available to speak?" I asked biting my nails.

"Give me second Mr.Sixx I will check."

I waited impatiently, my knees started shaking in agitation.

"Hello Mr.Sixx shes not available would you like to leave another message?"

I slammed the phone and punched the lamp on the side of my table. So her promise meant absolutely nothing. She probably just smiled in my face and said those things to make me get out of her room. If she knew she didn't really want to talk to me she should have just said it so I wouldn't be chasing her down like an asshole. Fuck this, I need something to get her out of my head. I can't have these feelings. I don't know how to even deal with them. I grabbed my suitcase and pulled out my phone book. I grabbed the phone and called my dealer in LA and told him to meet me at the airport. Then I called a limo to pick him up to make sure he'd be on time.

I fidgeted in my seat the whole plane ride, thinking about getting that first sweet hit of heroin in my veins. I didn't care about anything any more I just needed to escape the sorrows of my life. As soon as we landed I was the first one off the plane. I ran to the limo without even giving a shit about my bandmates. As soon as I saw Jason, I grabbed my shit and had the needle in my arm before the door even closed. Fuck Iman and all her bullshit....I don't need her. _____

Iman's POV

I returned home from Italy. The trip was amazing I met so many wonderful people there and made new friends. It is definitely somewhere I would like to visit again not just for work purposes. Lisa had called me and asked me to hang out she had gossip for me that I really needed to hear. I had a week break before going back to work. So I planned on really using the time to hang out with friends and shop.

She picked me up and we went over to her place to hang out. She looked very different. She wasn't the Lisa I remember seeing before I left. She was skinnier, her skin looked pale, and her eyes looked sunken into her head. She looked like Theresa. It was scary to see.

I told her all about Italy and the fashion show. And also about Derek coming down to Italy. She squealed and screamed when I told her about everything we did in Italy. I even went as far as to tell her about London and what happened with Nikki.

"Wow I can't beleive all that happened in London. So he was actually going to be thrown in the trash?" Her eyes went wide.

"Yes he was, I had to rub his back all night. And then the next morning I was falling asleep during the cat walk." I laughed.

"You know he bought a place. A house actually, I been there a couple of times with Izzy and Slash."

"Really!" I raised a brow. "Wow that's good for him. I remember when he was living with Robbin Crosby at his apartment. I went there a couple of times. Where's his house located at anyways?"

She got off her bed and walked towards her dresser to pull a piece of paper out. "Its at 14432 Valley Vista Boulevard. Apparently his girlfriend picked out the place for him while he was on tour." She points out.

His girlfriend! Why am I not surprised? I knew he was full of crap when he told me he wasn't dating Nicole. All this guy ever does is lie. Now I don't feel bad for ignoring his calls one bit.

"He's been throwing huge parties at his place. Everyone whose anyone in the rock and roll scene has been there." She says walking back to her bed. "We went through bags of heroin, rocks of cocaine, cases of cristal, and whatever pills we could get our hands on." She starts laughing.

Wow I didn't know Lisa was in deep with this drug life.

"At one point Izzy Stradlin was rolled up in a ball by the fire place, porn stars were passed out in the living room, and oh my God Britt Ekland came up stumbling out of the bathroom. It was hilarious." She laughed.

I was a bit scared for her. Lisa is very talented and a gorgeous girl. I would hate to see her career go down the drain because of drugs.

"Soo have you had any modeling gigs or acting roles?" I asked hesitantly.

"Mmm no, I'm just chilling for now. Plus my parents have money so if I need something I just take it from them." She grins while plopping back on the bed.

"Maybe you should take it easy on the drugs and the booze and get back into the game. Don't you miss modeling and acting?" I spoke softly.

"We can't all have managers like Tamara who can get you shit tons of bookings." She says pulling a cigarette out of her dresser.

"W..well I can ask her to get you some bookings." I smiled.

"God fuck Iman can we talk about something other than work." She lights her cigarette. "Like me fucking Axl."

"Really!" I asked sitting up. "Girl spill?"

"Well we've been going out for a little while. I brought him over to Nikki's place but Nikki refused to let him in so instead he came over to mine. And well one thing lead to another and we had sex." She says blowing smoke out of her mouth.

I screamed and jumped towards her. I can't beleive her and Axl got together. I hope it lasts what ever it is that's going on between them.

"So are you two dating or what?" I question.

"Well I think we are...I mean I hope so. We've been talking non stop since." She says putting out her cigarette.

"If I tell you something you can't say anything to any one. You promise?" I tensed up and mumbled. Lisa nodded her head. "Oh God." I say putting my hands on my face. "I made out with Nikki 3 times." I mumbled so low that I couldn't even hear my self.

"Huh say that again I didn't hear you?" She says pulling my hands off my face.

"I made out with Nikki." I groaned.

Her eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. "You fucking bitch and you didn't tell me!" She screamed. "How many times?" At this point she was grabbing my arms squeezing them tightly.

"We made out three times. The last time I was actually naked but I couldn't do it." I got up and started pacing around the room. "He wanted us to have sex with out the label and then Vince went on about me being Nikkis whore-"

"What the fuck Vince said that!" She yelled interrupting me. "Fuck him Iman. He's a whore!" She yelled.

"No but he's right Nikki has a girlfriend. So I would have been the other woman." I sighed sadly.

She looked at me with a sad expression on her face. "Y'know Nikki was hurting pretty bad when he came back. I mean he was throwing the parties and everything but I could tell something was off. I think he really likes you."

I sat back down on the bed and sighed. "Lisa he was calling me while I was in Italy and I ignored all his calls." I frowned.

"Iman why?" She ask with confusion. "You just told me he made things right with you before he left. So why ignore him?" She put her hand on my shoulder.

I wanted to say it was because of the drugs. But then I realized Lisa was also doing drugs and God knows what ever else she just mentioned to me. I know if I brought up the drugs she would get pissed off. But maybe who knows it might open her eyes to know that this is something she needed to stop or it would ruin her.

"Because of the drugs." I looked up at her. She became uneasy and worked up again. She leaned over to her dresser and pulled out another cigarette. "I want someone who dosen't have to use drugs in order to have a good time."

She rolled her eyes and lit up her cigarette. "Like Derek right?" She says with a bitchy voice.

"Lisa I'm not judging."

"You know your no saint." She pointed at me. "You hang around drug addicts, dealers, and alcoholics. Slash does drugs, Izzy does drugs, Axl does drugs, Vince does drugs. Everybody is doing fucking drugs Iman. Welcome to 198 fucking 6 and open your eyes. Everybody is doing drugs!" She yelled.

I have never seen her so pissed off like this before. It was making me nervous. But she was right everybody I knew and met in Hollywood so far was doing drugs. Except for Tamara, Jess, Rachel, and the other two girls I met. And no matter how hard I tried to stay away from it. It's the people around me who are my friends that are doing it. And to say I would cut them all off meant that I would have to cut off Lisa, or worse Slash. And that's not going to happen.

"Sooner or later you will too." She snarled and blew smoke in my direction.

I got up and grabbed my purse. "I'm going to get going." I exhaled deeply.

"What fucking ever." She rolls her eyes. I headed for the door but turned around. "No I wont." I say with a serious tone.

"You won't what?" She snapped harshly.

"I will never do drugs." I replied and walked out of her room.

I knew it was the drugs talking and not Lisa. But the best thing for me was to just leave. I didn't want to fight her anymore than I already have.

Later that night....

I was back at the condo watching TV and eating. Tamara had phone a couple hours ago to let me know that she was on her way back. The phone started ringing so I got up to go and answer it.

"Hello."

Heavy Breathing.

"H...hello...I can hear you breathing who ever you are?"

"Iman."

It was Nikki.

"Iman I'm patrolling my house for intruders. Theres people in trees, I'm hearing cops on my roof, and there are helicopters outside my home with S.W.A.T teams coming to get me." He whispered.

"W..wait what? Hang on Nikki who's with you? Where are you?" I asked with worry.

"I have my .357 Magnum and I'm hunting for people in my closet. Some people might be under my bed, and inside the washing machines. Someone is hiding in my home."

Drugs.

"Nikki did you take something? If you did you can tell me?" I spoke softly trying not to cry.

It went silent and I could hear him starting to sniffle a bit.

"Why did you ignore me?" He started sobbing.

"Nikki." I whispered.

"Someones at my door." He says and he hangs up the phone.

I wasn't sure what to do. Should I call the police? Should I tell Tamara? Should I call his band mates? This was the whole reason why I wanted to stay away from Nikki. He was now paranoid with what ever drugs he was taking. I sighed and put the phone down. I walked over to the couch and stared at the TV.

"What am I suppose to do?"

#motley crue #nikki sixx #vince neil #mick mars #tommy lee #thedirt #model #chanel iman #bwwm wmbw

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krayns · 7 years

Note

All :p

THANKS A! okay ill skip the ones M already asked me!

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

LOLOL, well it was the GC so I would say hey bitches wus good. ACTUALLY. I’D BE LIKE YALL CAN LOOK BUT CANT TOUCH CAUSE YALL BITCHES BE GETTING THE WRONG IDEA, and told yall bout a good million times Im just not interested. Pls take a hint.

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

WELL. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, bc he was a lowlife scrub who I do not need in my life at all. Blocked & erased my history

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

UM…. yes bc I would care about my partner and would want the best for them……. so I wouldnt want them on drugs 24/7

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

OMG its exactly 6 letter BISH.

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? YA GIRL WAS DRUNNNNK IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

OMG NO. Im never the one to mess it up SMH, im the one left to clean up the mess SMFH

7. What does your last received text say? “Or nahhh”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

LMFAO what kind of question. YALL REALLY THINK I SIT THERE AND COUNT EVERYTIME I KISSED MY MAN LIKE LOL????????? Lets just say I kissed him WAY too many times than he deserved. (V many times tho bc who doesn’t love a good smooch)

9. Where was your last kiss at?

BRUH. my ex mans house OK NEXT

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

well I have 2, and a few hours ago before they both went to sleep bc they youngins.

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Ya girl likes her steaming hot cup of TEA in the morning. Gotta have my daily tea.

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My mans crib ;) why you care tho?

13. Do you think relationships are hard? LOL. They’re hard if you make em hard. And if you’re partner is stressin you then hell yeah. But I mean no relationship is perfect. Its all about working through those hard times and that honestly makes the relationship stronger.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

YES. I would’ve left the trash ass ugly piece of garbage that treated me like shit and used the hell out of me, before I got super attached to him and let him walk all over me. DEFS wish I could’ve left his fuck boy ass long time ago, shouldn’t have let things lasted as long as they did.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO. bruh. YOU ARE ASKING FOR A WORLD WAR 3. im crying could you imagine. OH he would be shook. That or he would have the best sex of his life lbr.

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Sunny when I gotta go out, Rainy when I’m inside/ at night. BC YA GIRL HATES GOING OUT IN THE RAIN. Womans are not tryna look like a wet cat.

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

Actually yes quite a few, people I knew from school, also I think Selena Gomez? My middle name is kinda basic.

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

None of the above ;)

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

PART OF ME: I REALLY HOPE SO bc ya girl a hopeless romantic

OTHER PART OF ME: HONESTLY IDEK BC MANS ARE SO WHACK THESE DAYS, HARD TO FIND A QUALITY QT, and honestly im doing me these days like mans can wait BYE

20. Does anyone like you?

Jesus! My boy JC. Dont know if anyone else likes me bc like I clearly can’t read minds so?

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

Besides family, no one else is ringing a bell

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

Nope

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

Currently: My EX, Alicia from AYTO (tv show) (snake ass bitch),

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Yessss many times. Like theres so many ideas I have. I would probs get one like on my side, back, lower waist, or behind my ear? Either something cute or something with meaning.

25. In the past week have you cried?

Yes I think I had a moment the other day.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

A cockerspaniel.

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

Depends on my mood. I really like showers tho, preferably with my man

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Not yet ;)

29. Do you think you’re old?

Honestly sometimes I feel old asf

30. Do you like text messaging?

TBH not really. I prefer having that face to face, talking through text is too much miscommunication.

31. What type of day are you having?

A swell day, kinda was in my feels earlier but ya girl got it together.

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

YASSSS. I’ve wanted one for a while, but now I’m like do I want one that bad? It would be cute af THO

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

WARM WARM WARM. No ones tryna freeze their ass off. Ya girls an Island baby

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Jesus Christ.

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

RELATIONSHIPS, FUCK FLINGS ARE JUST NOT FOR ME. I am not meant for that fling life

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

Im quite wild tbh when you get to know me

37. What song are you listening to?

Currently: Straight Up & Down by Bruno Mars

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

Hellllll YEAH

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

Yes, I’d say my Moms, Ash, Rach or my sister Tia

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

OK. WELL…………………………………… dont ask me bout this rn im confused. But I kinda also have feelings for my ex ex man who wasnt really my man but still he is literally like my ideal man and ive been seeing him a few times and im triggered UGH my first uni LOVE FML fuck he has me WEAK ASF

41. When did you last receive a text message?

A second ago: so 1:55 AM

42. What is wrong with you right now?

NOT A GAWD DAMN THING BISH.

no but real talk school out here draining me. ALSO IM V CONFUSED BOUT STUFF.

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

YO thats my girl. RIDE OR DIE since 7th grade. I know her like the back of my hand and likewise for me.

44. Does anyone disgust you?

HAAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA, you already fucking know the answer. TRASH ASS EX MAN. Also fuck boys just disgust and erk my soul in general.

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Depends on who’s asking 😏 but hey if I like you, you cute, nice, funny, LOYAL, determined I mean I would probs say yes. ALONG WITH MY OTHER WANTS: smells good, good style, nice hair, kind, TALLLLLL, athletic,

But hey I mean he don’t have to fit all these categories, im just being extra here

46. Are you in a good mood right now?

Currently Yes :D

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

My mom

48. What color shirt are you wearing?

Not wearing a shirt oooooooops 😳

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

YUP. dont wanna repeat bc it was honestly the DOUCHIEST thing I’ve ever heard in my life and it makes me sick to my stomach that this literally came out of a mans PIE HOLE. i cant.

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Already gave up on em. LIKE UP OUT OF MY LIFE. blocked and erased that history

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Not really my ex ex man I still kinda like. BC my ex man was not the one that a fell hardest for so nah. IF IT WAS HIM THEN I WOULD.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

ummmmm noooo????

53. Do you like rain?

Only when I’m inside, or about to sleep. That Netflix and cuddles possible chill typa weather ya feel

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

Nope, unless the liqs turns them into a monster then yes I would care.

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL😳😳😳 HONEST TO GOD IM EITHER STRAIGHT UP OR SO LOWKEY. Like im TOO GOOD AT THIS. I could be crushin so hard on someone and they would never know bc im too good at hiding it.

56. Do you like to cuddle?

YES LOOOOOOOOOVE. your girl likes her doses of cuddles. BABS like getting cuddled too ):

57. Are you shy?

LOL HONEST YES. IM SO SHY AROUND CUTE BOYS OR LIKE PEOPLE I DONT KNOW. But once I get comfortable with you whoever you are im defs not. YA GIRL WILD AF

58. Do you get along with girls?YASSSSSSSS girl power bitch. LOVE MY GIRLS. Love hyping and empowering up my girls.

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

YEA SHE MY BAE :*

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

STRESS. LOL jks but omg phone, lipgloss (bc you never know if you eva gonna kiss a QT), the normals

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

UM. NO!!!! TF! ARE YOU WHACK. NEVER WOULD YOU EVER CATCH ME IN A JUMBIE INFESTED PLACE. NAH NAH

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

YES. OBVI. I’m that long term typa gyal ;) Im that ride or die typa girl

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

LOOOOL. Lets not think back to that time, I already ctrl alt and DELETE. BOI BYE

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

um YES. stop. putting. me. in. my feelS. But lets just say it wouldn’t just end with a kiss on the forehead ;)

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

Well im cute so……….. everyday something cute happens aka ME :)

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

21, and the rest were family SO LOL

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

honestly i can do my own nails, but its nice to treat your self

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

ZEBRA, your girl is a zebra print stan, my whole room is practically this print

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?

i dont own a car, but the car I drive has a “princess on board sticker” which is for my little sister but HEY its suitable for me too so

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

Lil Wayne… not about that country/ tim buck two. But tbh I dont listen to either of em

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?

IPHONE 6 GANGGGGGGGGG

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

Maybe like last year? Usually get pizza pizza

73. Do you like diet soda?

NAH, diet taste kinda weird

74. What color are the walls in your room?

Its like an olive green, but I want to re paint, maybe a shade of pink

75. Are you 16 or older?

older…. why you tryna holla?

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

I did…. show got mad boring tho.

77. Do you have a job?

Not currently, in school tho

78. What are your initials?

K.M.B BITCHHHHHHHEEEZ

79. Did you ever have braces?

nope, but the dentist always ask me if i had braces and always say how nice my teeth are :D

80. Are you from the south?

NAH NAH, IM NORTH JAX FAM

81. What does your last status on facebook say?

um???? I think I promo’ed Ash’s travel VLOG, check that shit out tho!!!!!!!

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

CRTL.ALT.DELTE.

NO BISH

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?

I would say my dad bc I grew up with him? but i tell my mom and step mom more personal stuff/ everything so

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?

I think it was suicide squad.

86. Do you smoke?

Nah, not on those greens fam

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

DEPENDS. On location and look.

88. Is your phone touch screen?

YUP

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

Well my hair is wavy and I usually just leave it natural. I love straightening my hair but takes way too much strength and energy out of me.

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? LMFAO YES. TO GO TO SLEEPOVER AT ONE OF MY MANS HOUSE IM CRYING @GOD forgive me father

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

DEFS POOL OR OCEAN LOL BOUT LAKE OR RIVER BYE

94. Are you single or in a relationship?

Doing me. Living life. Doing whatever the hell I want. I am happy and thats all that matters. Not letting mans bring me down, have me stressing, crying myself to sleep, or crying until i have no more tears to cry

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

Texting my squad in the GC, talking about waste mans

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?

Fireworks in my heart: probably in the summer on my first date with trash

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?

YES bc I stay taking cute pics, im obsessed with taking fire pics

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?

NOPE. Always know my limit

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Hate is a v strong word. I think if anyone I really disliked I’ve removed, I may have some fakes from like HS but thats about it.

102. Name your favorite Kesha song: PROBABLY TICK TOK, YO MY GRADE 7 ASS WOULD WHINE UP TO THIS SONG, MAJOR TRACK

103. Do you have any tan lines right now? noPE, but honestly i wish I did bc I wanna go somewhere warm

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viralhottopics · 7 years

Text

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So Bad For Them But I’m Doing Fine

Well, its Wednesday night and Im a bottle of wine in. Its time to love myself like that Hailee girl told me to and turn on some . Because nothing is better for your self-confidence then to watch other people fail. Miserably.

Last year Sams mom got in touch with me and this year its Giannas brother. Who will be next to defend their loved ones on the recaps? Carolinas great aunt? Stay tuned!

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Shocker, they all start binge drinking. Cant wait to see how much weight they all gain by the end of the season.

Little Mike is talking to Casandra about all the things he likes to do. These hobbies include taking long walks on the beach, gelling his hair and taking a daily measurement of his penis. His growth spurt is coming, okay?!

Casandra literally looks like a bobblehead and is like OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

Little Mike: I LOVE LAMP

Mike wants to get to know Cas but also low-key hates her for having a family and being #blessed. He legit calls her a daddys girl to her face and shes not even phased. He starts talking about how his mom is broke and his dad is crazy and Im like, woah, did I change the channel accidentally to ? This shit is way too heavy for me rn.

If I could describe the house in three words that they all could understand it would be: Drunk. Horny. Stupid. In that order. Because they arent planning on getting a real job any time after this, they decide to throw an underwear party.

Ozzy is like Kathryn is very sexy, idk what it is about her that I like. He says as she grinds on him in her underwear. Hmmm, I wonder what it could be that makes you like her?

They start making out and he tells her that tomorrow is his birthday. So obviously she has to have sex with him because of THE IMPLICATION. (Name that reference and I will marry you.)

Tyler and Taylor are both like hey this underwear party is fucking gross and Im like FUCK YA TEAM NORMAL PEOPLE.

Tyler is like everyone is acting trashy and Im trying to better myself. Woah, ok. Profound. Tyler def got lost on the way to auditions and ended up on . Either that or hes a fucking narc.

Apparently nothing makes Tylers dick harder than belittling the people you live with and he starts making out with Taylor. Overall, v hot couple.

Then the camera pans out to literally everyone just hooking up. , brought to you by Trojan Condoms.

THE GAME

The game starts with everyone being blindfolded and the boys tied up, which is coincidentally also the first scene of .

The girls have to smell the guys and untie the one they want to take on a date. Because thats normal. The first three couples to finish go on a date.

The girls start sniffing and falling more than cokeheads at an EDM concert.

Kari has some big-ass eyes so every time she talks she looks fucking crazy. Actually, she kind of looks like me when Im high but Im pretending that Im not high so Im overly opening my eyes. Idk, just trying to create a visual.

Karis like “I STUDIED NEUROSCIENCE ONCE IN COLLEGE, PHEROMONES ARE REAL Yeah, no one said they werent#Science.

KARI: This one time, in my neuroscience class

Kari picks Joey the trashman, who I thought smells like shit but I guess not.

Hannah picks Tyler and is like wow, this blindfold makes it so hard to see. I totally respect blind people. Wow, Im sure blind people everywhere feel so fucking complimented. Like look mom, that girl on TV understands my daily struggle for 3 minutes!

They can still hear you being a dumbass, you know.

Alicia smells Andre because he, and I quote, smells like Fritios. This is like the cheapest advertisement Fritos has ever had. Also, Andre its time to get some new cologne.

Andre/Alicia, Joey/Kari and Hannah/Tyler all win and they are going to go windsurfing. Thrilling.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Gianna apologizes to Hayden for being a low-key bitch last week and hes already well settled into his home on friendzone island.

Michael walks by and Gianna is like hanging on Hayden. Michael is very over it and Gianna is like . Fuck, okay.

Kam and Eddie are flirting and being cute and idk I like them so they better not fuck this up for me.

MY MOM: I like the girl with the grey-ish, purple-ish hair ME: Literally their names are at the bottom of the screen.

Carolina is very upset that Joey the trashman is going on a date with KARI (her name will be in all caps now because her eyes just make me feel some type of way). Carolina starts crying and shes like if youre not my match what is my purpose?! In the distance you can hear me screaming ITS WEEK TWO YOU DUMB BITCH.

THE DATE

Andre is the only one who can windsurf and Hannahs like”oh Daddy.” In the words of our President-Elect, everyone else is a bunch of losers. Huge losers! Failing at wind surfing! All talk, no action!

KARI is being really nice to Joey and saying hes fun and shes excited to be there and hes like ACTUALLY Im into Carolina. Woah. Okay, I know KARI may kind of look like Crazy Eyes but she seems nice and shes actually being genuine. So in my drunken state rn I am very mad for her.

Joey has officially moved to my shit list. And I dont even mean that because hes a trashman. Where he quite literally has to pick up shit. Get it? Ill see myself out.

Andre and Alisha seem to be getting along but IDK, they kinda act like little children. They talk a big game about how they are really into each other but I just cant see it. And Im pretty much a fucking expert at this show.

And none for Tyler and Hannah, bye!

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Andre and Alicia to the booth because the house isnt fully brain-dead. Everyone Is like “THEY ARE SO STRONG! THEYRE IN LOVE AFTER A WEEK.”

See, you say strong, I say fucking crazy.

And guess what, Im right motherfuckersNO MATCH.

Alicia starts crying and saying she doesnt want to be here. Damn, okay then fly tf outta here, what?

Hannah is like “HEY I KNOW YOUR HEART JUST BROKE, BUT IM GONNA GO AFTER ANDRE.” Its all about the subtle game. Hannah, could you like, chill your hoe ass down for a sec?

Hannah and Andre are talking and hes like I knew we werent a match and Im everyone at home is like wait you just told Alicia man, thats fucked up.

Andre and Hannah start making out because #drama.

Alicia starts flipping the fuck out and is like YOURE A LIAR AND A FLIRTER AND A MINGLER!!!

Whats a mingler? Just someone who mingles? I feel like thats real nondescript. Im going to need a full definition plz. DM me.

Andres like “THESE GIRLS ARE CATCHING FEELINGS!” Uh, its not just girls. Joeys over here acting like a baby back bitch.

Hoes, am I right?

THE MATCHUP

The boys get to pick tonight and this ought to be a shit show because none of them strike me as scholars.

Oswaldo picks KARI. Random, dont care.

Ozzy picks Kathryn because he wants that birthday sex. Ozzys like she makes me feel like home. Uh, Ozzy thats because you are home. Youre a local, your house is like, down the street.

Jaylen picks Kam, fucking up the thing she had with Eddie.

Eddie picks Shannon, womp womp.

Derrick pity picks Alicia.

Hayden, who is sporting a pair of capris, picks Taylor. Obviously Taylor wants to be with Tyler so this is def a surprise. She actually says those exact words and Hayden has now purchased a summer home on friendzone island.

Tyler says something fucking stupid about how Hayden is doing him a favor? Idk his foot is so far up his mouth and Taylors like 3 seconds away from putting her foot in his ass. So much for team normal.

Andre picks Hannah. Alicia is like “IT IS WHAT IT IS” but also wants to murder Hannah.

Michael caves and picks Gianna. WTF.

Joey picks Carolina and they kiss because THEY ARE DUMB THATS WHY.

Mike picks Casandra because shes his uptown girl.

Tyler picks Tee and they both are like, “Welp. Fuck me right?”

Okay, so this is sketch. Not looking so hot for them rn.

Were waiting for beams and Im drinking, thinking no fucking way are they going to blackout. Its only week 2. But in the words of President-Elect: The polls were wrong! The experts were wrong! Sad!

And yes, THEY BLACKOUT.

They all lost half a million dollars. Im laughing but its a nervous laugh because now they all are going to be on suicide watch or something.

Everyone has to deal with the fact that the person they are with is not their match. No Mike/Cas, Ozzy/Kathryn, Gianna/Michael, Joey/Carolina or Hannah/Andre. WOW. Major blow. Im loving this.

A sad song starts playing and people start crying. Damn, this just got as depressing as Mikes family life.

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