#also....the only way you're really supporting tumblr is if you buy stuff from them

[spaciebabie]

I don’t think I’ll be on this platform anymore, at least for now, due to everything that’s happening. I’d just like to keep away from it and supporting it at all. See you later, maybe.

-heartbeat anon

i understand heartbeat!! safe travels wherever you find yourself!! thank you for sticking around <3333

[horseslur]

Someone else can link the tumblr post/reddit link in the replies under this, I'm mostly here to elaborate on uh. How SSE Fucked Up This Time (possibly illegal version).

Disclaimer: Not an actual expert on this stuff, but i am an economics major. and i literally took a class on this sort of thing this semester.

What is SSE doing?

TLDR: as of roughly today (dec 21st 2023) but possibly earlier, you have a chance of, when trying to buy starrider, getting not just the "regular" discount packages that we know, where you pay once and get a bunch of seasonal goodies and the weekly sc, but also a "special" "Discounted" option where you get the goodies and starrider and *no weekly sc*. Meaning you will have to manually buy starcoins if you ever want any beyond the initial 2k or whatever.

Why is this possibly illegal?

I'm not diving too deep into A/B testing, because I know the least amount about it, but essentially it is literally up to chance which option you get, the regular set or the "cheap" option.

Combined with the fact that they sneakily removed the "receive a weekly starcoin allowance" from the starrider page from one day to another, and the fact that a slight graphical change (that being the +100sc not being in the image of the cheap option) are the only acknowledgements of this change, it basically sets them up for a lawsuit in any location they roll out these options.

Trade, market and consumer authorities (the FTC in the US, the European Commission in Europe, Konsumentverket in Sweden for example) have as one of their main and foremost goals the protection of consumers in the country where a product is sold. They're the reason why you can get your money back if you order something online and it doesn't arrive, or something distinctly different from what you ordered arrives instead. Rule number 1 for any company or seller is do not mislead your consumers.

Does removing the sc allowance directly break said rule? No. But doing so in a shady, hidden way that leads people to believe they should be receiving starcoins onto to be told by customer support to suck it up, they bought the wrong thing, and to do so unannounced and randomly throughout multiple regions, Definitely sets up a case against them.

It can absolutely be argued that after a decade of having a premium currency allowance as the Standard in their starrider subscriptions, to remove it unannounced and present it to customers as a regular discount is deliberately misleading consumers to buy a product that is not what they intended to buy. Both new customers and returning customers buying alternate accounts step into this process expecting to pay once for a starrider bundle that, given the ongoing seasonal festival, includes the seasonal cosmetic options, in addition to the "regular" premium currency allowance. This is especially more obvious once you realise that (presumably since implementing this system), you have to have created an account on their site and logged into it to even see which starrider bundles are available to you, which makes people unlikely to ever realise that the offers they are getting might be different from other people in their same region, with one version being significantly worse/different from what they might expect.

TLDR: it's really fucking shady of them to just Suddenly shove a bundle without the weekly allowance in people's faces when people are expecting to have them, especially because they're clearly trying to hide the fact that it's an option at all or different from the regular bundle.

What now?

If you or someone you know is getting this bundle or has bought it and felt surprised/betrayed by the fact that it lacks the allowance, take it to your local consumer protection authority (after you've contacted customer support). If you're uncertain what to tell them, try and add the following points:

You bought an online product to be used inside the game, which turned out to be something different from what you thought it was.

When you contacted customer support over this, they told you that the version you bought does not contain the allowance, but offer no way to correct this mistake. (Unless the customer support script ends up changing. In that case simply add what they did tell you.)

The discounted bundle did not clearly state that it lacks the allowance, nor is it distinctly different from other bundles, and is in fact the first option you were given.

To see what bundles are offered to you at all requires logging into an account on their website, making it difficult for you to compare offers to what other people might be getting, and making it unlikely for you to realise that you got something different from others at all until after you have bought it.

At worst, SSE will be reprimanded and made to add more clearly on their website what the bundle contains and what you're missing out on.

At best they actually go to court and go bankrupt over said costs and we'll finally be truly free

[copperbadge]

Radio Free Monday

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Just a periodic reminder: I know not everyone has the energy or money to volunteer or give, but I wanted to remind folks that even reblogging helps -- reblogging RFM, yes, but also (or, really, instead) taking a moment to go to a tumblr post and reblog the post helps too. You are also always welcome to crosspost to your social media of choice or post a link from there to here.

Ways to Give:

alirhi linked to a fundraiser to get herself, her mother, and her sister stable housing; they are currently staying in their cars in a a dangerous parking lot. They have a friend who will let them park a camper in her yard, but the camper there currently is unlivable, and they haven't been able to find an affordable replacement. With two of the family on disability it is difficult for them to keep up with bills and also save for housing. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

Anon linked to a fundraiser for West Maui Animal Clinic, a Lahaina-based clinic where one of their vet school classmates works; the clinic burned to the ground in the fires, and many of the staff lost everything. They are raising funds to try and keep paying clinic staff while they figure out how to recover. You can read more and support the fundraiser here. (sorry to credit you as anon, but your username wasn't a tumblr handle and I wasn't confident the username without stops was the right one.)

Beck is raising funds to help cover the vet bill for their tortie cat, Lady Clytemnestra, who had to be treated for an abscess; you can read more and reblog here or support the gofundme here (as a warning, there is a photo of the injury at the fundraiser if you scroll).

Anon linked to a fundraiser for lumierew, to cover the vet bills for her cat's spinal surgery. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

squidgiepdx and squidge.org are running a fall fundraiser; they are a small fansite that provides image and podfic hosting, site hosting, and a story archive for the fannish community, which runs them about $2K per year. They are now incorporated as a 501c3 (a nonprofit) in the US, and so your donations are tax-deductible. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

News to Know:

blackestglass is running the fourth annual Chromatic Characters Podfic Anthology, which collects podfics of stories of less than 1500 words and center characters of color. This year's optional theme is "solidarity" and the due date for submissions is September 12th; they are encouraging authors who'd like to write a story for the anthology to team up with a podficcer by commenting at the info post. They are also looking for technical betas who can commit to 2 hours of beta listening the week of Sept. 13, to check for volume issues and other errors in the files and metadata. If you are a person of color who would be willing to lend their services as a contextual content beta (formerly known as cultural sensitivity listeners), they'd love to have you onboard as well. You can read more and comment here to volunteer or ask a question, DM the mods on twitter at ccpamods, or email ccpamods at gmail.com.

Buy Stuff, Help Out:

grumpycakes's coworker made a Tarot deck that they're kickstarting, but they haven't yet reached goal; the deck is "A unique tarot deck that references not only symbols and keywords, but also; flowers, crystals and more with affirmations. [...] The Symbolic Tarot not only draws from the traditional tarot structure but also includes corresponding aspects including simple answers to questions, making each card a collectible piece of resourcefulness." You can read more and reblog here or join in the kickstarter here.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form. If you're new to fundraising, you may want to check out my guide to fundraising here.

[donnerpartyofone]

I'm trying to picture the logical outcome of that rhetoric going around about how we should all reblog people's art and fan content out of the goodness of our hearts--like just to satisfy everybody's cravings for attention, as opposed to reblogging if and when we actually like something enough to want it on our own blogs. I mean there's no other reason NOT to reblog something than that you just don't enjoy it enough, so the only reason to press people about reblogs is to override that basic lack of desire and pleasure. With that said:

Let's say person X is earnestly writing and recording really shitty music. You don't like it, but you feel duty-bound to make them happy by acting like you think it's good so you reblog it, all of it, every time. And let's also say your supposedly heroic urge to promote things you don't believe in, to make your blog represent stuff you don't actually care for just to create a feeling of artificial popularity for someone else, catches on, and we all start doing it. Now everyone is playing music they don't like, or are even indifferent to, and we're putting it on all of our blogs, like you're covering your room in posters for something totally uninspiring, that you're only involved with out of pity. And then one day we all find ourselves middle-aged and tired without that much money or energy to go around, and we're still dragging our asses to shows that start too late and go too late, trudging from the bar to the bathroom as the only way of breaking up the monotony of politely sticking it out until your friend goes on--who actually isn't even your friend, they're just some rando on social media who everyone collectively decided to boost out of the misguided notion that we are all owed zillions of notes and followers just because we want them, and now this person gets to go about their days imagining that they're deservedly famous and never learning things like, for instance, you should make art for your own personal satisfaction and not to get everyone else's approval, or that being loved by a few people who really understand you is better than being popular with masses of strangers, or that there are forms of success that aren't just doing numbers on some cretinous website.

One of the more important parts of the above is, person X is not your friend, they're just some guy. In real life, there is a good probability that you will sometimes have a friend who makes bad art or bad music or writes bad poetry etc, and you will feel obligated to go to their show/reading/etc and act supportive and come up with nice things to say until you're exhausted to the point of death. And you sacrifice your time and comfort like this because X is someone in your life who you care about, even if it doesn't feel completely honest to be this positive about everything they do, it's worth it because you're invested in how they feel (this is providing you don't have more of a tough love relationship, which is maybe ideal, but not everybody does so well with that, so ANYWAY). And if you're part of an actual community of artists, everybody winds up buying each other's zines and being the only people at each other's shows and basically just passing the same $10 bill around in a circle forever and man is THAT exhausting, but at least you all know the score, even if no one is saying it.

But what I'm saying is, this is the burden of relationships, the result of not being able to necessarily choose who you love. The most common type of relationship on Tumblr is between strangers; I will never know anything about the vast majority of people whose posts I see, even that I like. I will make some friends and acquaintances, but for the most part I'm here to have my own experience, to follow people because I like what they do, to interact with their stuff for no reason other than that I enjoy it. So for me, the Tumblr pitch is basically "Come to this site, people post all kinds of cool shit and you can amuse yourself for hours!" The pitch should not be "Come to this site where people will conspire to make a charity case out of you by making you think they like your stuff when they really don't," nor should it be "Come to this site where you have a moral obligation to help promote all kinds of random crap you might think is lame or boring, but you're forced to because you feel sorry for strangers who make bad art and you don't think they should have to learn that no one owes them a successful artistic career and popularity isn't everything!" I mean that is a nightmare. If you're lucky you'll have enough of that going on in your real life that you definitely won't want to join a website where you have to do it for people you don't even know. If you're extra lucky, you'll never have to do anything like this at all!

PS If half your likes and reblogs are inspired by charity and not informed by your actual taste, then your approval becomes totally meaningless and nobody should care what you have to say. Same goes for always agreeing with whoever is talking to you and always saying you're sorry even if no one asked for an apology. It's a way of being a liar. You turn your own word into mud.

[daylander1000]

Hi, I just wanted to say I really love your fic. Aemond/Rhaena dynamics is so well written and I enjoyed their dialogues. There is a lot of shared grief, misunderstandings, compassion and banter between the two and I've actually always thought that their show versions could've functioned well as a couple because they are so different and yet so similar at the same time.

Also, I'm glad you didn't make Rhaena and Baela another Rhaenyra's worshippers like in the show because that doesn't make much sense and it baffles me that Baela in her deleted scene with Rhaenys sees Rhaenyra as "her queen" and supports her unconditionally. I mean, Rhaenyra is a woman who replaced her mother so soon, she is also their father's niece and a woman whose sons will inherit not just the Iron Throne but also Driftmark, even though they have no Velaryon blood. Moreover, Baela didn't spend much time with her on Dragonstone because she was Rhaenys' ward on Driftmark, learning there what Luke should have been learning. And somehow, we are still supposed to believe that Baela and Rhaena are perfectly content with their situation? They are not just happy to be betrothed to Jace and Luke but also, they are not upset at all after they saw how (and why) Vaemond was killed? It's hard to believe this.

Another thing that bothered me in the show is this forced hostility between Rhaena, Baela and Aemond, but even more the instant friendship and closeness with Jace and Luke. Baela and Rhaena met Aemond and Rhaenyra's sons for the first time at Laena's funeral and, according to the show, they just decided they hated Aemond for no reason at all? "It's him" sounded too hostile and while I understand Rhaena's anger and grief at that specific moment, it sounded like the girls already hated Aemond's guts before the incident with Vhagar which is ridiculous. Furthermore, why would Baela and Rhaena enter Jace's room and ask for his help ? Not their father's help, their grandparents' or even one of the guards', but the boy's they met that same day. It seems to me that the writers just didn't want or didn't have time to bother with deeper analysis and needed to make all the children from TB super close and supportive of one another, so that was apparently reason enough to gang up on Aemond. Idk, I just don't buy the instant unconditional friendship between the Strong boys and Laena's daughters, nor the hostility toward Aemond. That's why I'm glad you are exploring their dynamics realistically.

I'm so sorry if this was too long. Once again, love SWHHW and I'm looking forward to the next chapters, especially Aemond/Rhaena scenes. Oh, and Alicent and Criston too, you write them so well.

Too long? 😅 This is where I come to hyperfixate on all things fictional. Too long???

(this is gonna be long af)

First, thank you for reading. Rhaemond is so much fun. At first, all I had was hate for this series, but tumblr forced me to open my heart a little and let this ship in.

It's fun to try to be a little realistic about it. I love when people deconstruct tropes. Like The Boys taking a look at how someone raised in a lab with Superman's powers might actually turn out to be a nightmare. But it doesn't always have to grimdark stuff. We can do some shipping.

We had Sky High about how a boy from a superpowered family would feel if he had no powers. Why can't we explore life for a dragonless girl raised in a Dragon-Makes-Right family? And why not ship her with the only other person in her who can relate to growing up dragonless in a Dragon-Makes-Right family?. This is what fanfiction is for. 😅

I can't help but think about it.

Like, there are a lot of series/movies that are underwritten in the way that you get out of the cinema and then you think something like, "Well, no. The stock market would freeze financial transactions if a supervillain went after Bruce Wayne's holdings." But HotD is underwritten in the sense that you're watching it in real time and thinking "Okay, don't stop there. Finish that sentence in a way that makes sense." And then they finish it with something bizarre like for instance "history remembers names" as if Westeros isn't the country that invented special names for bastards because they take that shit seriously.

The insta-friendship with Jace/Luke, the insta-beef with Aemond... It's just so weirdly done. They took the time to write the scene where Rhaenyra tells Jace, "Hey, your cousins are sad, their mother just died," and he's like, "Yeah, well, I'm sad too. Remember Harwin?" And then he grudgingly goes over, and Baela just sort of latches on to his hand... It's too one-sided for me.

They took the time to let you know that he wasn't in a friend-making mood. And it makes sense, because we know that Rhaenyra is planning to go after Daemon and she's like, "They're gonna be stepsiblings by tomorrow," but Jace doesn't know that. Both sets of children there are grieving a parent. They're strangers. Who makes friends at a funeral? It's not the time or place.

And I know the goal is to make Jace look like the self-suffering type of chivalrous gentleman who befriends pitiful women in need, but it's just too overtly disingenuous to me. The whole friendship. It's just not organic imo. It's this contrived thing the writers just pulled out of their ass like a trump card because "they were friends in the book," failing to realize how incoherent their adaptation was turning out.

I mean, let's pretend Baela and Rhaena are fleshed out 3d characters instead of plot devices. At this point, pre-wedding, they have no reason to think that they're never going back home to Pentos or never seeing their actual friends again.

Are there children in this world who go to their mother's funeral who come out of it thinking "The important thing is the friends we made." ??? Are they really looking to be recruited into Jace's beef with Aemond? Are they invested in that?

Cause it's not even really the "green v black" drama if you think about it, because Jace gets along well enough with Aegon and apparently Helaena, so at this point pre-maiming, it's really just a general "this kid doesn't have the latest toy" type bullying of Aemond for not having a dragon.

After Harwin dies, is Jace really just seething over Aemond? Does he dislike Aemond to the point that he can't wait for new blood in his gang? Is he really taking Rhaena and Baela aside to pitch them on the benefit of making an alliance for the few days they're in town?

How does Jace even explain that they've been laughing at Aemond for not having a dragon? How does he do that in a way that makes Rhaena (who also doesn't have a dragon) want to join in? Is he just like "If Aemond comes bothering you, don't go to your father or grandfather, come to me and I'll handle him. See, I'm the sheriff in these here parts. I don't take kindly to dragon-rustlers, and mark my words, that boy Aemond is a rustler if I ever saw one."

It's him, who?

They never give us a single conversation between the children to show why Baela and Rhaena pledged allegiance to Jace and Luke and decided that Jace and Luke's enemies were theirs, now and forever.

The word "bastard" is clearly Jace's berserk button, so we also know he didn't pitch them like "So I'm a bastard, but we've all agreed to pretend I'm not, except for the queen who's a real bitch who's like 'bastards shouldn't inherit over trueborn sons,' or whatever. Anyway, Aemond is the nastiest skank bitch you'll ever meet. Don't trust him. He's a dragon-stealing fugly slut."

But anyway, let's say that Baela and Rhaena spent their mother's funeral drinking the Kool Kidz of King's Landing Kool-Aid™. And let's say they have zero post-maiming regrets about the 4-on-1 attack on Aemond even though we clearly see them stop taking part in the violence after Jace pulls a blade. Doesn't that change after the wedding?

There's no way you're fine with someone claiming your mother's husband if one day earlier you were pissed as shit about someone claiming your mother's dragon.

And then on top of that Baela gets sent away. All Rhaenyra's children stay huddled and cuddled while Rhaena and Baela get split up. For years.

Baela's been on Driftmark with Rhaenys for years. They go out of their way to present the situation as hostile. Rhaenyra and Daemon have one granddaughter, Rhaenys has the other one. Rhaenyra thinks Rhaenys is fully going to throw her under the bus and is desperately asking her to accept a betrothal as a compromise, so we can assume that Baela and Jace haven't been flying back and forth, hanging out and chilling, growing up together, etc.

And Baela definitely hasn't been flying over every weekend either saying "Hey, my grandmother is super cool with what you guys did to Laenor, come visit for Thanksgiving. It's all bygones! We started using the fireplace again for marshmallows and it's like she doesn't even remember her son burning to death in there. It's totally fine!"

And Rhaenys hasn't seen Rhaena in years so she's not going over to visit either. And yet, so many years later, Baela wants to go do another team-up beatdown with Jace because Aemond said the b-word again? Why?

Are she and Jace star-crossed lovers kept apart by her grandmother's sensless standoff against Rhaenyra for no real reason (aside from her murdered son)? She's been trying to talk Rhaenys into accepting Rhaenyra as their rightful queen? Trying to get Rhaenys to swear allegiance to her son's killers?

But okay, even if in some scenario we say that Baela's been flying over to Dragonstone to visit her sister and the others and she's good friends with all of them.

Why is it still so one-sided? That's the crux of it for me. She's giving up her claim on Driftmark out of her friendship withJace, and Luke and Jace are doing what exactly? What is Baela getting out of the friendship?

Rhaenys got shot down but we're supposed to believe that she's been raising Baela to think that Rhaenyra is beyond a doubt going to be queen and that "King Jace" is a sure thing, so "yeah, even though his mother killed my son, keep that friendship strong and hopefully he marries you. Fingers crossed. And hopefully he's a good husband. His mother and your father left my son to burn in a fireplace until he was unrecognizable just so they could get married but aside from that, I'm sure they'll be excellent rulers. You'd be lucky to marry Jace. Marriage is the best. Look how glorious my life's been as Corlys's wife. Don't you want this exact same life that I have, where I ask my husband to do things and he's like no? My children are dead because of his poor decision-making and my lack of a say in anything, but it's more fun than it looks. I am loving life. So glad I wasn't queen myself because it doesn't get any better than this, granddaughter. You should be this lucky."

I mean, it is totally possible that the showrunners went to all the actresses and writers and said that all the female characters should be treated like "women for trump".

Rhea—Big dyke energy from you. You die first cause you're not fuckable.

Laena—you're a nag and you have failed at childbirth. That is your one purpose in life. This is so embarrassing; you should just kill yourself.

Rhaenyra—were you groomed or were you into it? Domestic abuse isn't actually all that bad, it's a little light choking. You're into it. Women need to stop emasculating their men in the name of feminism. Upgrading wives 3 or 4 times is normal, he might have treated the ones before you like shit, but you're special. Maybe.

Alicent—You are a church lady. Be good and listen to your husband and your father, and just, you know, be obedient like it says in the bible. You don't do any plotting at all. Yeah, just turn that cheek. Keep turning it. Serve your husband. Marital rape isn't even a thing, so you know, take care of him like a good wife.

Rhaenys—well, you're the hypothetical postmenopausal crazy bitch who should not be trusted with nuclear codes because you'll kill a bunch of people due to hormones and mean girl catfighting, etc.

Helaena—*checks notes* are dreamers the same as manic pixie dream girls? you get to speak in riddles constantly. Like women do... Jace will dance with you and that'll sort of define you. We just need you to give birth really, so...

Rhaena—Your role is Dangerous Urban Youth, but you grow up and learn your place. Less is more. Remember: seen, not heard.

Baela—We let women inherit but only certain women, so you're essentially the Black Best Friend. You know. No purpose outside of defending the white main chracters in your life who you would gladly die for. You're the type of Good Woman™ who hands over her entire paycheck to her man because she knows he really needs it, mixed in with some Cool Girl™. You're cool with anything and everything he does. No opinions on nothing, sort of like your sister, but Cool.

What is this show and how does it exist in 2023 on HBO?

[herzspalter]

hello! just wanted to let you know that i've been a fan of your art for many years. you're one of my favorite artists and i keep your username on a little .txt (along with a couple other artists) so i can always remember who i look up to and who i hope to become as good as someday.

i love your art. all of it. even the transformers fanart, and i don't even like transformers. i especially like your choice in colors (and i never see anyone comment on it!! it's such a key component to your style and nobody talks about it!!) but i also take inspiration from your lineart and poses. the way you draw teeth is unsettling but it grabs the viewer's attention, it might as well be your style's trademark.

i'm an artist, too, and i'm not nearly as popular as you are. (... probably because i'm only on twitter, i post infrequently, and when i post i only post ocs lol.) i just want to say that you've been one of my biggest inspirations and your art drives me forward. it reminds me that if someone can continue as long as you've been going, then i can continue, too.

i haven't always had a tumblr account. i made a couple just recently, and today i remembered that you exist, so i came to your blog. and read through it. all the way back to 2019. and liked several of your posts. so if you see a rando that liked a bunch of your old posts and left you a follow, that would be me. ^^;

since i didn't have a tumblr account, how did i know about your art? well, a lot of it (mostly your JJBA fanart) is on pinterest. some of it is even credited 😭 (pinterest users are notorious for reposting fanart without linking back to the creator). so yeah, your art is on pinterest, sometimes it's credited, sometimes it isn't. but yeah, you've got a ton of fans on pinterest that can't make their presence known to you. we all support you from afar until the day we make tumblr accounts.

this got long. sorry for being weird. i promise i'll buy from your shop and support you more directly someday, but for now i remain a broke nerd. don't feel like it's necessary to respond to this, i just wanted to let you know that you inspire a lot of people, even though you probably already know that.

your art is wonderful and i encourage you to continue with it! please stay safe and take care of yourself. and... thanks for reading my little essay ^^

Ohhh Lovely Anon;;

This is genuinely so, so sweet, and I've been thinking for two hours now how I should even reply to this because I'm very touched by it ;_;

Thank you so, so much, seriously. I'm happy you like my colours, that's honestly a great thing to hear because I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with them;

It means tons to me when people enjoy what I do, whether I can see it or not, so this all means so fucking much to me; I don't know what to say really other than Thank You a million times over, seriously. You people have been keeping me going for years now by just enjoying stuff I doodle <3 I've found my drawings on pinterest before too when looking for refs of characters and it means a lot to me that there are people like you who go out of their way to find me still ;__; Thank you!

And you don't need to buy anything from me at all <3 I appreciate anyone looking at stuff I've made! Thank you so much for taking the time to write me such a lovely message!

I wish you the absolute Best for yourself and your path as an artist, always keep on doing what you love no matter what, and keep up your OCs!! <3 That's so powerful of you!! <3<3<3 Take good care!!

[batboyblog]

It's really important to me people know that thought crimes are not real.

I saw a post and I wish I had responded because as is the nature of Tumblr you stay thinking about it and can't ever find that post again.

but any ways someone was asking I assume a trans person if it was okay that they pirated Harry Potter stuff and enjoyed it alone in their home without telling others or posting about it etc

which... stop asking for absolution from strangers on the internet? like if you feel bad about it, don't do it.

but the real issue was they not only said no it wasn't okay their logic was like.... even if you read it alone in your house somehow you're supporting J. K. Rowling and making her stronger and also the books have some kind of effect on your mind?

I'm begging people, Rowling is not the Dark Lord? I get you're still a hostage to her because it's STILL somehow the only book you've read but like... reading that copy of Harry Potter your grandma got you 20 years ago will not unleash dark energies that'll feed her evil witch power in her Scottish Castle? and also they're not... what are they called? horcruxes? you reading a problematic book will not corrupt you on a metaphysical level?

you should go read something else because Harry Potter isn't very good, go pirate Lord of the Rings or Dune or something, read something worthwhile, buy a book from an author who isn't a raging asshole who will spend your money on evil (so you know not Orson Scott Card)

I say all this as someone who's never seen a Harry Potter film, I didn't even read the last book, I have no idea how it ends? does Dumbledore come back? no idea and don't care. I thought everyone being hung up on those not very good books was mad for years. But like bad books, problematic books, books by shitty terrible people (hello Roald Dahl, HP Lovecraft) are not objects of power, you reading them alone does not empower the bad person, you have to do things in public to do that, opening a book you already own and reading it has no wider effect. And while you can be effected by what you read (well not Harry Potter because again not very good) it's not radiation, it won't seep off the page into your soul.

[pacifymebby]

hi sorry to ask this but what are the warning signs for an ed and how do I stop myself? I feel like I’m becoming obsessed with calories and I’m genuinely scared

no pressure to answer though!!! I know it’s a difficult topic

Aw no this is okay to ask!!! I'm really more than happy to try and give people any advice I can or like support at all.

My first bit of advice is really that as soon as you start worrying that there could be a problem, reach out and talk to someone. Try to get help as fast as possible. Eating Disorders are quite complicated and addictive so it's best to nip them in the bud so they can't make their little roots and come back again if that makes sense. The stat for recovery within the first two years of diagnosis is so much better for the stat for recovery outwith that time frame.

Secondly, when I start noticing that I'm focussing on calories too much, when I catch myself worrying about the food i want to eat I kinda take a step back and ask myself "am I hungry, am I craving this food, is it going to make me happy/will eating it be a good experience" usually the answer to one of these questions is yes and if it is then you can be like, "well then I need the food calories don't matter"

Depending how far in you are that can be hard though. A lot of the time I have the argument outloud with B and he reasons with me.

I think like, trying not to check the calories helped me,but then other people I know have said checking the calories and then saying "but that's okay" helps them because by purposefully not checking calories you're letting yourself fear them still. It kinda depends what works best for you but try both ways until something works.

Also like, 9 times out of 10 and eating disorder isn't just about food and weight loss. Sounds stupid but write in your diary about everything that's worrying you and making you feel bad. Like my ed genuinely stems from wanting someone else to take care of me, like feeling like the only way I can be taken care of is if I'm really seriously ill. It's like a cry for help behaviour that stems from trauma and probably if we'd discovered this when I was first ill I could maybe have been assisted to recover quite nicely.

So like working out what's making you obsess over calories, like are you controlling that because there's something else in your life worrying you that you feel like you can't control. Things that have triggered my ed in the past have been things like GCSEs, starting a new college and being anxious about all the new stuff, applying to uni, trying to graduate, actually finishing uni and realising I don't know what to do with my life and having no set routine or goals so then the ed came back as something to focus on, living in a bad environment (mouldy cold house, being poor so couldn't change circumstances), traumatic life events like sexual assault etc...

Really small seemingly trivial things can trigger it and like once you realise that, like fixing the external problem can often help.

I think like initial warning signs are things like

Worrying about calories, counting them obsessively etc

Constantly checking how you look, worrying about it, worrying about how clothes fit and like feeling uncomfortable in clothes you used to love

If your minds constantly distracted and preoccupied with thoughts about appearance, weight, exercise, losing weight, cutting out foods etc...

Something else for me is that I always get quite into like other stuff too, I get an urge to buy skincare products and new health foods or like new exercise clothes.

Staying away from certain areas of Tumblr and other socials is like imperative btw.

But yeah my main thing is if you're worrying about maybe you're developing disordered behaviour then get help asap!!! It's not shameful to ask for help and eating disorders are so so miserable so like escaping them at the earliest possible stage is really important!!!

[musashi]

im here to essentially second the "its mostly projection" anon re why people are Like This to you.

most people on this website just really fucking hate themselves. You're the only person ive seen on this website afair that doesnt. i think a lot of these people see "oh autistic mentally ill queer person! we must be the same!" and then treat you the way they desperately wish someone would treat them, or the way they treat their friends, who may prefer things that way.

i think the assumption that everyone on tumblr hates themselves really hits whenever you talk about how people perceive you especially. a lot pf people on tumblr would see someone saying "people dont really find me attractive" and interpret it as "/I/ dont find me attractive and my ridiculously low self esteem means i assume all people feel the same way.

i also rather doubt that any of these people actually read your carrd unfortunately. they see what they perceive as someone in distress and in need of comfort and rush right in to "reassure" you. carrds are also one of the hip things to make fun of right now, the assumption may be made that its mostly unimportant stuff about like fandom bullshit.

I think also the fact that you are in fandom makes people think you're like a teenager. a loooot of people, especially actual teens, see fandom as something for "young people" and surely a tax paying adult wouldnt be writing fanfic? a lot of antis will tell older adults who dont buy into their bullshit to "go do your taxes" or "shouldnt you be taking care of your kids" and shit like that

finally, talking about like otherkin stuff, or really just being otherkin is seen as juvenile as well, especially by non kinfolk. i think a lot of people see it as sort of an extension of "playing pretend", rather than the legitimate spiritual belief that it can be

so yeah essentially people are projecting and or see that you do a lot of things they feel are childish or whatever and thats why theyre like that. i dont think theres much you can really do about that unfortunately, short of maybe changing the ask box prompt to like "i am an adult who pays taxes" or something

one small thing that might possibly help is changing your icon? it's ridiculous that people think this way, but from what i can tell, a lot of people see "cartoon character on a pride flag" as a juvenile trait, something only teens really do. whether they know your actual age or not, they could subconsciously assume you are a child essentially.

this is all so valuable information thank you for sending it holy shit.

to be honest. i forgot. that people in the current climate view ANY of these things as immature. i am so steeped in my own reality full of adults who collect toys and write fanfiction that i wholly forgot that there are swaths of the world who view those as hobbies for teenagers and kids. like that thought did not even occur to me. every single adult or friend i have in my life is in fandom in some way fsdgsfd

i really am sympathetic to people with low self esteem who need support but i just wish they wouldn't project onto me. i have my doubts and problems sure but they are not something i listen to, and when they are fixable i simply fix them. i wish people would understand that my peace in life comes from a conscious effort and dedication to loving myself and being happy. there is no secret caveat, there is nothing deeper than that. once upon a time i was miserable. it sucked. so i took the steps to change it, and i will do that forever, as things shift and change. end of statement.

you're right, there's really nothing to be done about this. prompting my ask box is a good idea though, that might get some people to stop. i can't change my icon cause i match with jessica :3 and honestly as much as i'd love folks to leave me alone, pride flag icons are too cute to pass up.

thanks again this is all good food for thought

[for the love of god someone please tell me why everyone treats me like an uwu soft baby who needs protecting/support]

[traumxrei-archive]

(Pretty sure tumblr deleted one of my asks ahdjsjdj wth tumblr.)

1) BABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE. IM. LEONA BELOVED. HES SO. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AAAAAAAAA its so good. going through some family troubles rn so having mr lion, his nephew, a cat-raccoon-demon??? thing?? (seriously what even is grim), and their magic-less human’s shenanigans is nice. thank you for all of your writings.

2) OH MY GOD JADE. IM. I DONT THINK I RECOVERED FROM THE ANGST SO THANKS FOR THAT. /nm /lh im so soft for this eelman seeing him sad, it broke me 💔 (in like the best way though again your writings are spectacular. i love your characterization sm.)

Speaking of Jade actually i mentioned this in my last ask (that again i think got deleted hajfjajdh) i have this kinda ooc?? headcanon of the tweels, where i think Floyd likes Jade’s terrariums, just not the ones with mushrooms. and Jade getting floyd limited edition shoes for his collection i just ajfjakdbsk them man. (also they fight over THE dumbest stuff you’ve ever heard. you cannot convince me otherwise. /lh)

3) TSUM TSUM EVENT OH MY GOD. ITS SO STUPIDLY CUTE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. LIKE I ALREADY LOVE TSUM TSUMS.. AND THEN THEY COMBINED IT WITH TWST IM,,, ITS SO CUTE?? I WANT THIS EVENT IN TWST EN SO BADLY… I WOULD GIVE MY LIFE FOR THAT FLOYD CARD HES SO ADORABLE AND FOR WHAT. I WANT TWST JP SO BADLY RN BUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

4) Also im really late but Kalim!!! Sunshine boy’s birthday!! Love him, hes very silly

Anyway uh im gonna head out now, have a good day trau!

-🍓

(baby it's cold outside + jade fic)

HI STRAWBERRY ANON !!

I WAS WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED BC YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING AFTER BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE WHICH WAS. ODD. BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE TAKING A BREAK OR SUMN SJDFJ

1) i'm very pleased to hear you liked the newest chapter of baby it's cold outside !! and i hope your family troubles will get resolved soon, but just know that they're all giving you a big hug rn <33 (leona's begrudingly doing it after cheka dragged him and yuu pestered him but he's there too lmao)

2) JADE FIC !! I DID GIVE A WARNING ABT THE ANGST....BUT I'M ALSO NOT SORRY BC JADE CRYING GOES BRRR /J i am also a big jade enjoyer even tho i might not voice it as much, but seriously, imagining him in that scenario was just. heart crushing but also helped me kinda...get to know him a bit better ? bc now i feel like i could tell how he would react to grief n stuff, idk it's weird but yeah sjdfksjf

AND YES !! tweels being supportive abt each others' interests is also near and dear to my heart <33 i feel like floyd would like the terrariums up until jade scolds him for poking at them too much sjdkfsj (and yea it's a no for the shrooms for floyd). and ofc, jade would oNLY buy those pair of shoes if floyd happened to explicitly mention them sjfdksjfk (i hc jade has. bad fashion sense. like if he dressed himself he's gonna look like a schoolboy OR a whole ass grandpa)

3) I'M ALSO SOBBING OVER THE TSUMS,,,,THEY'RE SO CUTE AND THEY LOOK SO SQUISHY... look if i could buy twst tsums irl rn i would 100% GRAB THEM AS FAST AS I COULD !! floyd card is definitely hella cute sobs i wonder what the groovy's gonna look like :')))))

4) and yes <33 we love our sunshine otter hehe

i also hope that you're having a good day / night !! till we talk again wooo

[clueless-dumdum]

Hello Tumblr. I've been told you can be a great space for my thoughts. I have always been able to channel my thoughts well but recently things have been harder than ever. Well not exactly hard, I'm thankful for everything I have, let's say things have been tricky.

I married my high school sweetheart. It's what we both had dreamed of for years. Even though I was not really a fan of the concept of marriage, he convinced me over the years that we should do this. One year into my marriage I can't help but remember why I was against the whole idea. Things aren't the same. Like in every other story you hear about marriages.

My friends didn't particularly like him. He's a different person. Not your mainstream instagrammable boy. He's sensitive, introverted and oh so caring and kind! My family also had their doubts. But he proved them wrong through his strength of character in multiple situations and they slowly got to know him better.

So what's wrong now? He's always been a spiritual person and I have always supported that. I feel that that's one of the reasons he's so kind and grounded - which I totally love about him! But recently he has started expecting me to also follow his spiritual journey. He says it's my obligation as his wife to follow it with him and he would have failed as a husband if he wasn't able to guide his wife.

Okay, I understand that that's important to him. But I guess his social skills are so poor that unintentionally he starts ordering me to do particular stuff and stop doing particular stuff for this journey. Now I'm a woman living in 2023 that can not be ordered around like that especially about what I wear, who I hang out with and what my daily routine looks like.

He asks me, do you not realize that you're married now? As if marriage is a jail in which your freedom ends. I was quite willing to support him at the start but with this patriarchal approach, I'm starting to feel distant from him. He says I can ask for my wifely rights in return if it makes me feel better. I've never been the kind of wife who spends off her husband's money on fancy stuff. I take care of my basic needs with my own earnings and occasionally he supports me with stuff. What should I do? Start asking him to buy me diamond jewelry so he can control the way I dress? I don't find any of this fair. It's driving me away from him even though I have known nothing but love for him for the past fifteen years.

He says he's just helping me become a better person. I only see myself as becoming angry and rebellious.

My word of advice would be - don't get married ! Marriage is a trap! Stay safe, kids! Enjoy the single life 🥳

[lostheretics]

mafia!wooyoung; where his s/o caught several bullets in a crossfire

updates[!!!]: i’m retelling the whole story through a series called PLOT TWIST check my blog for updates

cast(s): wooyoung x fem!reader, oh rieon (male OC, might change them), ATEEZ

themes: mafia!au, non idol, action, angst

warning [!!!]: blood, guns, knife, wounds in quite a detail, please don't interact if you're not used to such thing. if i ever missed anything do tell me.

⚠️ i'm in no way condoning nor romanticizing any mafia acts or any acts against the law at all. my writings are purely fictions used for fun and not based on anything real⚠️

also gif is not mine. all creds for gif goes to port-of-ateez ❤️

⛔️ DO NOT REPOST ON ANY PLATFORMS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. any forms of plagiarism is distasteful and wrong. let's create a safe, friendly, and supportive environment for all tumblr users.

—-—

"i'll bring the stuff, but you'll be the one to take it out. the moment you have it, you get out of that place as soon as you can. don't look back. leave your men with the guys to fight, and the guys will be okay."

"what about you? what about the guys?"

"hongjoong knows about this plan. but i have to stay. this is my fight as well, along with my family. i can't just leave them.

"y/n i want to protect you too—"

"no. what you'll do is to protect the stuff, gave it to hongjoong after the war, and like your promises before, take the enemy down with ateez by yourside. that's your fight."

y/n took a sharp breath, holding her tears back before continuing, "i could feel it. a war is coming. i have to protect you so the evidence will stay intact, and that way you can protect ateez. my family.

...and only this way, i can protect wooyoung."

that was the last word you had exchanged with oh rieon, before the planned meeting happened, before all hell break loose and the crossfire to happen.

you watched as rieon ran away from the warehouse, into his car and drove away from the chaos that is happening. one task done, you sighed. with the evidence secured, if anything should happens, at the very least ateez can be protected, the empire will still remain intact, and by buying some more time, the lee family along with their empire can be taken down. sometime in the future.

but this is not the time to think about that.

the ringing in your head and ears never stops and it was deafening. perhaps it was because of the guns around you keep shooting bullets out of it, perhaps it was the hard hit you took on your head before you shoot down the man who hit you with that metal stuff. dizziness hit you, and the only thing you could realize is your own ragged breath and your gun that ran out of bullet.

you had to think of a way out, but the dizziness doesn't help at all.

shoutings, gun cocking and bullets sounds filled the room. you mindlessly hit and fight back whatever or whoever touches your skin. your body is in pain so great it started to numb you of any other pain that came across you. you could see your palm and arm sliced open, courtesy of the enemy's knife. but amidst all that, you could hear someone calling your name.

"...y/n! we gotta go out fast!"

"y/n run!"

you wish your body and mind could comprehend it all and did as you were told, but it simply can't. it took your body several seconds to gather everything in control, and you finally ran out for your life.

your back was burning, as were your feet. your head dizzy, sight going darker and chest heaving in pain, but nothing hurt more than seeing wooyoung taking that girl's (his partner) hand in his, taking her to the designated van that will take the whole ateez crew out of the site.

it's never nice to do anything when you're having an unfinished fight between you and your own husband. three months of not properly talking to each other, constantly fighting if not letting silence take over, when really all you wanted was to have his arms around you, loving you, and for you to love him back. not watching the relationship you've created to crumble right before your eyes, and the bane of every fight in your relationship, in a form of wooyoung's female partner in crime, to win this internal fight you had.

and what worse is wooyoung not realizing the problem right in front of him, not taking his own lover's side. simply because he was jealous over y/n's powerful name in the mafia world, and her close relationship with rieon of the oh family. it didn't help that ateez needed the oh family's assistance to take down the lee family.

to be honest, you just wanted to love and be loved by the said man to your very end. and wooyoung has the same exact thoughts. however, so it seems, the cold brick wall had grown too tall it blinded the both of you of the love that you had for each other.

the burning pain gets worse and all you wanted to do was stop running and just drop dead, hoping everything will stop. you wanted to stop fighting the fights in the mafia world, the fights you had in your relationship with wooyoung.

you wanted to stop. and your brain seemed to listen as your feet goes slower, and your sight gets darker.

you couldn't think or comprehend on how did wooyoung finally realize that you were there too, caught in the crossfire. you didn't think much, only guessing that perhaps wooyoung saw that you were tired, that he ran to your way, quickly hold and pulled you to the van.

his hand was warm, and you could feel a spark of happiness in you. somewhere in your heart you hoped that your fights will stop here, that you'll get back at loving each other. that the romance will once again bloom.

the thoughts gave you calmness over your pain, as you gave a tight squeeze to his hands, and finally laid your head upon his shoulder.

your breaths got heavier, but you felt lighter.

you dreamed of that beach house in jeju. the sound of waves crashing and waking up next to wooyoung never felt so serene.

—-—

"is everyone in the car? is everyone okay?" seonghwa's voice filled the van, eyes roaming around trying to detect any damage the crossfire caused on his members.

everyone shook their heads as they laid their backs against the car, trying to catch some proper breaths. wooyoung does the exact same.

as the car drove across the night and away from the chaotic site, he thought of you, sitting right beside him. his hand was still holding yours, and he smiled a little, thinking of how much he missed the feelings of you on his skin. the fights haven't been finished, but he wholeheartedly wish that it'd stop, that the both of you would go to bed tonight with loving hearts.

he could feel your hand weakly squeezed his hand, and your head on his shoulder. he looked to you, taking in your tired form before asking, "y/n, are you okay?"

with the hopeful thoughts he had just a second ago, he brought his other hand to caress your face and your head, checking up on you.

his brows furrowed when he felt something wet on his fingertips upon touching you. he retracted his hand back, only to see his fingertips colored red, by the fresh blood running somewhere from your head. he gasped and called your name once again, "y/n, baby, are you oka—"

it wasn't his intention to move his shoulders away from your head. he only wanted to take a better look at you, to move a bit, to make sure you were okay. but you just fell limp, and if it wasn't for his arms catching and securing you in his grasps, your body would've fell to the van floor.

"y/n?" his voice raised, making all heads in the van turn into his way.

wooyoung swore he could actually feel his heart falling to his stomach as he took in your form and processed all.

fresh blood were running from your head and out of your mouth. the short breaths that you took, your eyelids fluttering, threatening to close altogether, your eyes all drowsy and empty. your palm and arm sliced open, blood running out from there too. your temple beaten blue, and yet another blood stain on your white shirt.

he quickly pulled up your shirt, suspecting that it might be a gunshot wound; and it was true. two gunshot wound around your stomach, with fresh blood running out of it were clear in his sight.

and you didn't wear your bulletproof vest.

"baby? baby— Y/N'S DOWN, MOVE FAST. I NEED HELP!" he shouted frantically to whoever that heard him in the car, "baby? why are you this beaten up,"

"why didn't you wear your vest?"

"i'm here, baby. help is on the way, okay? stay with me," wooyoung held you in his arms as his other hand caressed your face, trying to keep you awake for yours and his own sake. your condition looked awful overall. and he thought he'll be damned if anything ever happens to you.

"doctor— kang yeosang! i need a doctor, KANG YEOSANG!" he shouted again, calling for the quickest first aid.

the chaos in the warehouse stopped, but instead started in the van. mingi stepped harder on the gas pedal, seonghwa informing other van and hongjoong that y/n was down and that they needed help, with yeosang quickly moving to wooyoung's side, inspecting y/n in his arms.

"stay with me, baby," wooyoung kept mouthing every time he saw your eyelids fluttering. he was intently looking at your face. his eyes grew wide when he caught your eyes looking straight back at his.

you lifted your arm to caress his face, to which he saw. wooyoung quickly caught your hand and brought it to his face, holding it closely. "don't waste your energy, love. stay with me, okay? just stay with me. keep those eyes open for me."

but you just stared at him. a single tear unknowingly rolled out of your eyes. "hurts..." you weakly spoke.

if wooyoung's heart fell into the pit of his stomach before, now he could feel it breaking apart over your word, "i know baby, i know. we're getting the help, okay? just stay with me, stay awake," he could only answer.

somewhere in your eyes, wooyoung could see, and he could finally feel the pain. some parts of his body felt physical pain you're feeling right now, as if both of your bodies were one. then, amidst the chaos within wooyoung's mind, he finally had a glimpse and came to a realization of the non psychical pain that was caused by the fights you had.

he thought about the fights the both of you had, or, currently having, and how it wasn't finished yet.

the emotional damage he had caused upon you, he finally realize it all. just how much he had hurt you the past months. the endless fights, the neglect, the cold shoulders; all of it.

and now you're laying in his arms, hanging between life and death.

someone somewhere had said that if you ever love someone, love them everyday like it's your last day to love them. or theirs. he thought of you, of your relationship, all in mere seconds in between the chaos in the van, and he knows that despite whatever's going on between you and him, he's still madly in love with you. that you are his life, his wife. his love. that thoughts relieved him, but the other thoughts might ruin it all. the fearful thoughts. the fear that he might not be able to show you his love anymore. that today might be your last, and that he didn't even have the chance to fix anything yet.

"woo..." you mouthed his name, the one syllable in his name that he missed so much. the one syllable that you swore is your favorite and a sign that you truly love him.

he tried to erase that fearsome thoughts out of his mind, but it only seemed to grow when he felt your hand on his cheek went limp. and still, wooyoung refused to acknowledge the reality that is happening right now. instead, he tightened his hand around yours, still holding it close to his cheek. he refused the idea of losing you.

he couldn't look anymore, when your sight went fixed at nothing but the air.

"baby? baby, please stay with me. y/n, baby, please stay, oh my god," he said. eyes blurry filled with tears, hands frantically tapping on your cheek, trying to wake you up. "i'm right here, baby. please wake up, please don't leave me," he sobbed again. wooyoung looked up, "yeosang?" he called, hoping to see or hear even the slightest good news, but yeosang's face seemed to say another thing.

yeosang concentrated on his own work. he checked your pulse, taking in your conditions overalls, any wounds or blood, checking your pupils and chest. anything yeosang could patch quickly, he would patch with the limited wound dressing he could find. checking everything one more time, his brows furrowed as he looked back to the front of the van, to seonghwa and mingi, "you need to go faster, we're losing her."

the van moved even faster, and seonghwa nodded, "i've told hongjoong and the rest. we're bringing her to the oh family's mansion. it's closer, rieon's doctors are ready too," seonghwa assured them, "we're almost there."

"wooyoung, give her to me," yeosang said as he moved your body to his arms, albeit a bit forcefully as wooyoung doesn't seem to want to let you go. "put a pressure on her back, don't let her bleed too much." yeosang commanded, and wooyoung did as told, only realizing that the two gunshot wound on your stomach were nothing compared to the several bullet holes on your back, basically creating a blood bath.

"yeo, i— i can't lose her," wooyoung cried.

yeosang looked at his bestfriend, knowing the amount of pain he felt. that it'd be unbearable to anyone at all. yet he couldn't give him false hope, because the reality, he himself didn't know whether he could save you or not. your condition was far from good, and so all he could say was, "we'll do our best."

after some time, the van finally stopped right in front of the oh family's mansion. yeosang quickly ran out of the van, bringing you in his arms, and wooyoung tailing not far behind. people around rushed, before wooyoung felt some hands around his body, forbidding him from following even further. he fought, of course, trying to get out of whoever grasps he was in just to follow you and yeosang.

"you can't go any further, let them treat her." wooyoung heard hongjoong's voice, before seeing him right in front of his eyes. he took the sight around him. hongjoong in front of him, seonghwa beside him and holding wooyoung by his shoulder, and jongho doing the same from behind, absolutely forbidding him from going further.

"y/n is in good hands, woo. they'll treat her alright," seonghwa spoke, but wooyoung shook his head.

"i can't let her go. i have to make sure she's safe. i have to— hyung please. i want to be with her," he sobbed, "i can't lose her."

it pained the rest to see wooyoung in such state, but hongjoong stood his ground. "you have to stay here."

after some given time, wooyoung finally stopped thrashing around. he was moved to a room, forced to wait, with the rest of the members guarding the door and wooyoung himself, preventing any unwanted move from him.

as he sat down on a sofa, his eyes suddenly caught the sight of his whole hands.

wooyoung's hand were not particularly clean, as others are in this messy business. he has many blood shed all over his hands, taken people's life away from them. physically, mentally, or in anyway he was told or could do. he took people's lives in daily as a part of his job, never took any of it to his heart or consideration, whether it was enemy's life or even innocent ones (although he doubted that anyone is ever innocent in this type of business).

but never in his life did he imagine it'd be your blood.

on his hands, seeping through his white shirt, almost like water. too much to his likings, to the point of coloring his whole arms.

he couldn't think of anything, but losing you. it was a haunting thought. a dreadful one. yet he couldn't get rid of the thoughts, as he remembered your bloodied figure and empty eyes. as if it was the only way he'd remember you for the rest his life to come. a life without you. as if it was the last memory he'll have of you. he could only cry in pain and regrets, and hanging on empty hopes that you'd come back to him.

that you'd give him another chance.

—-—

note(s): I HAVE DECIDED TO POST THIS OH MY GHOSTS AND ALL GODLY FORCES. it's been sitting for days in my draft sometimes i just stared at it.

all i needed was to be far away from home and absolutely bored to make all this decision. i did all the rewrites in a damn airport, waiting for my flight for another three hours. three. istg.

also not to give false hope or promising anything BUT i'm planning to make this fic into a whole series because i have some cool ass ideas. well that depends on my life tho. college is hard af. pray to the universe for my SANity ahahah—((i have to do it))

sorry to make y'all wait (if anyone is waiting at all) but enjoy this!!! this is my first time writing again since years of writers block.

p.s this is heavily inspired by @songmingisthighs mafia!seonghwa fic. i love it. you might realize that there are some similarities between mine and her fic, do tell if that's too uncomfortably similar (i hope it's not though). also @vvshere who encouraged me to write again, and her nct mafia!au is cool af. love you vv ❤️

[yeojaa]

reported you to the copyright section on weverse for your concert stream, they’ll be in touch. i have bills to pay rent to pay food to buy but i do this thing called budgeting to ensure i can pay for bts content legally. and very simply yea if you don’t pay you don’t deserve it. you can’t walk into a shop and think oh i like this dress so i’m going to take it without paying that’s called theft and is illegal. this is the same thing. if you don’t pay you don’t get. why should i spend $80 for 2 concerts and you get them free, no that’s unfair. any real army will pay and if you don’t you don’t deserve the boys, their content or their hard work.

you're so fucking ugly (and i mean this as a person, on the inside. rotten like a fucking apple that's fallen off the tree). like. lmaaaaaaaaaaao i can't even. it's as if you don't have a brain. which is crazy, because you say you have rent to pay and food to buy but i'm pretty sure things without brains don't have responsibilities? y'know? *insert oprah's what is the truth? gif*

anyway. honestly, i don't have to reply to this. i know i probably shouldn't, because this is such a stupid ask it doesn't deserve an answer. but i've got time, babes, so here we go!

firstly, you're a shit army, because what's something that bts has always advocated for? acceptance, community, love. you're going to sit there on your high horse and bitch and complain like "weh weh weh it's not fair that i've got a stick shoved too far up my ass to consider other people's circumstances and have compassion!" get a life, pal. grow a heart. maybe it'll help take the strain off the nonexistent brain you've got.

secondly, you know that yoongi, during a vlive (i think?), searched for a stream for a soccer game, right? as in, an illegal stream? the man who you claim to support so much LITERALLY did what you're shitting on other people for? so do you think he doesn't have a right to watch that, either? that he's an illegal scumbag who doesn't really support korea? or does your asinine viewpoint only apply to fellow army?

lastly, jimin straight up answered an army on weverse telling them the following:

if jimin - and presumably the rest of the boys - don't hold it against their fans for watching content using an alternative method, why the fuck do you care? are you secretly bang pd? do you have some like, idk, dividends we need to know about? it's absolutely insane that you're licking the boots of a fucking entertainment company and coming here, into my inbox, to tear down the people who only want to enjoy content.

as much as we love bts, things are expensive. sorry that people have found a way to stream stuff without having to miss their rent. sorry they've maybe bought merchandise but just didn't have it in their expendable income to also buy tickets to muster. but actually, i'm not sorry at all and neither should any other army be.

anyway, you are an inexplicably sad person. i genuinely hope that you, at some point, can figure out wtf happened to make you this way and move on from it. because god knows you need it. toodles!

ps. reported me to weverse? using what? "hey, big hit. this fanfic author on tumblr streamed to people. can you do something about it?" you sound wack as hell.

[bukojuiice]

—the lovey-dovey things they do with you while you're both stuck at home during quarantine

ೃ chars: izuku midoriya, katsuki bakugo, shoto todoroki, eijiro kirishima and shinsou hitoshi x gn! reader

ೃ  tags: headcanons, fluff

ೃ  warnings: none!

ೃ  my nav  →  my mha writing masterlist  → my katsuki bakugo x reader smau

ೃ  please do reblog if you enjoyed!! it really helps writers and content creators on tumblr!  

ೃ  if you want to be a part of my mha taglist. send me an ask!  ♡

katsuki bakugo: cooking and baking with him! it all started on a cozy afternoon in April, you’re mindlessly scrolling through tiktok whilst cuddling with katsuki (your sparky bf practically asleep in your arms) when you stumbled upon some cute and interesting cooking videos appearing on your fyp. katsuki peers through your phone and groggily asks if you want to try out and attempt to make some of them and you immediately say yes!

the two of you start with something simple and basic, dalgona coffee! (even playfully arguing whether or not you should adding more whipped cream to your drinks or not), after that, you then take your culinary journey a bit further by making some baked sushi, cloud bread, and mini donut cereals among many other scrumptious delights! after a while, you decided to buy some matching “kiss the cook” aprons online and even started a tiktok account detailing all of the special twists katsuki made to the recipes (although he absolutely refused to make an account at first, with some probing and dozens of pouty faces and puppy eyes coming from his adorable significant other, he finally gives in) dancing and kisses in the kitchen, spreading flour on each other’s faces, leaving sneaky love notes by the fridge, and making each other coffee in the morning were just some of the little add-ons the two of you would do with each other.

izuku midoriya: online escape rooms and virtual museum tours! the national museum of japan were offering some free virtual tours around the museum and the two of you could not just pass up the opportunity to see all the intricate pieces being displayed in the museum. however, izuku wanted to experience something else that's similar to that and so, after seeing an ad on twitter for an virtual escape room experience, izuku excitedly told you about it. jumping and hopping around like a little bunny and you couldn’t help but agree as seeing him so happy and so excited for something will never fail to make your heart flutter. the two of you immediately book a reservation and even bring out your virtual reality gears for the full immersive experience. you’re clinging to his arm the whole time as you virtually traverse a horror escape game and your freckled boyfriend tries his best to be brave just for you.

with both of your intelligent and inquisitive minds combined together, with the occasional soft couple bickering, and having to listen to izuku murmur to himself for several minutes,  the two of you solved 7 escape rooms (for a week straight) in a span of three hours each. the two of you take turns in doing the tasks of the game, and whoever fails to do so, has to do the other person’s bidding for the entire day. although the two of you could never force the other to do any mean-spirited dares to each other, most of the bidding you told each other to do were peppering each other kisses on the cheek, long and warm hugs, choosing the movie for the night, cuddling in the bed and holding hands among many other things.

todoroki shoto: binging movies and tv shows on netflix with him! this was the perfect opportunity to help your icy-hot boyfriend finally indulge in everything pop culture. and what better way to do so than on netflix and other streaming sites? the two of you end up watching every romantic movie dear to your heart. mixed with bed or couch cuddles, blankets wrapped around the two of you, a lot of cheesy and loving whispers said, and paired with some comfort food you ordered online. your watching area varied. sometimes the two of you would watch in the bedroom, living room, and sometimes you would even make a pillow fort with dangling fairy lights attached to it filling the tent with fluffy stuff toys to lie on just so that the two of you can watch on the floor.

shoto cried when the two of you finished watching the notebook and the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. and all you did the entire night was give him all the hugs and kithes you could provide him. ever since then, the two of you opt for more light-hearted movies. rom-coms, disney movies and sitcoms where he endlessly referenced iconic lines from friends, the office, how i met your mother, and brooklyn 99. the days in quarantine go by with the two of you just mindlessly singing and dancing along to disney songs, rewatching rom-coms for the umpteenth time, reenacting some scenes from iconic movies with dry yet hilarious acting, and just discussing movie theories whenever he cutely and innocently asks you about some small details he missed every time you finish watching a movie for the day

eijiro kirishima: training and exercise routines with him! your shark-toothed boyfriend is a fitness buff through and through. to the point that a room in your house dedicated to just gym and fitness equipment exists. but when quarantine struck the world and your lovely home, you slightly lost your motivation to work out. eijiro continues to encourage you to do so ofc! with the two of you occasionally going outside to jog but aside from that, nothing much else. when he catches you watching a chloe ting video on youtube, he scoops you up from the couch, and you giggle trying to tell him to put you down yet he refuses to do so, as he carries you all the way to your little gym room. you notice that there are yoga mats sprawled about and since then, the two of you would do a lot of yoga as it has been proven to decrease anxiety. sometimes the two of you would get distracted and start dancing to the exercise music, accompanied endless laughter and giggles when kirisihima would do his daily planking exercise with you sitting on top of him as he does so.

there were also times when the two of you were so tired and sore. so you would give each other loving massages, there were also times when the two of you would just sleep it out or just lounge in the bed. excercise couldn’t stop your cravings and so, and there were also times when the two of you would do some food mukbangs you’ve been craving for recently.

shinsou hitoshi: playing video games with him and taking care of your little pet kitten! right before quarantine started, shinsou surprised you with a pet little kitten that the two of you decided to name gigi, named after the cat from kiki’s delivery service. the two of you always running around the house as if you were parents to a newly-born baby, watching your cute little kitten frolicking around, touching and interacting with everything he could find. after watching some “cat parents” videos on youtube and learning some tips, you attempt to give it a bath, resulting into a very wet failure. with the only time you can feel peace and quiet was when gigi was asleep or whenever he would be drinking his vet-approved milk. your quarantine life was hectic and chaotic but taking care of a cute little bundle of joy with your equally loving and handsome boyfriend... well, life couldn’t get any better than this.

when you were finally able to get the hang of the cat parents life, you and shinsou finally found the time to rest and relax by playing video games. may it be a horror, action, adventure, rhythm, or fantasy game, you were always playing with him. maybe as a player 2 or just as the supportive significant other who helped him solve puzzles, make story game choices that could change the game, and even help him with the buttons if he was trying to fight some hard boss. whenever there are jumps cares in the game, he would hold your hand and give you reassuring pats. whenever the two of you would play against each other on the other hand, he has his arms wrapped around you, with you still being extremely focused at the game at hand, he would give you pecks on the cheek to try and make you distracted so that he can win. your little pet kitten, gigi, sleeping on the couch as the two of you play to your heart’s content.

ೃ taglist: @chibishae34​  @lovelytarou​ @ramunegoddess​, @serossimpy @laudthingcat​​

[bcacstuff]

I quickly defaulted to this side of the tumblr fandom because some of the main blogs always claimed and were seen to be balanced in posts about S , as in calling out in their opinions the bad but also acknowledging the good . That seems to have gone and while as an anon who doesn’t have the skills time or confidence to have my own blog I would never presume to suggest what anyone posts on their own blog it’s sad and quite unfair to observe . It seems like all his successes are ripped apart and denigrated for example he has 2 books published recently with successful well attended live and online launches , his side business ventures are clearly making profit or they would be done and he consistently and regularly has acting jobs all that is classed as ‘ shilling’ with the inference that he is conning people out of money when they buy stuff that he sells like every other business and it’s entirely their choice how they spend . Then MPC raises $ 6m but most comments question the motives of the intent behind the scheme with willing members who have also chosen to join. Now the criticism is that he is having a vacation, as yetJapan is the only country to have closed to tourism amid the new variant how he travels in regards to regulations and restrictions are all assumptions based on anons like me and what is found on SM not even posted by him for the most part . I am sorry to rant like this and it’s not directed at you or any other individual in particular it just seems quite pervasive lately, I’ll no doubt be dismissed as a mommy and I’m really not I think I’m younger than many here . Apologies again you don’t have to post this but I’d just appreciate it if you read it .

Dear Anon, let me start by saying I don't consider you a mommy, at least not from the way you've written you're message to me. And I thank you for the lengthy message. I know you said I don't have to post, but I'd like to and like to respond hopefully in a balanced way.

I also thank you for your arguments, no need to apologize for expressing your arguments and feelings to me, I understand them and can find some merit in it. It's true, my posts lately has been more unbalanced, something snapped in me last week. I even posted how I couldn't be balanced that evening. More about that later on in my answer.

I first would like to reply on your arguments about him being successful and how it is sad and unfair how that is ripped apart and denigrated. You've a point there. He's successfully launched the books, he's to some extend successful in his side business. Though they're mostly depending and tight to his success on OL. A point we've discussed here extensively and we don't really see him going beyond that. Of course he has all the right to shill on his SM, it's the OTT he's doing it what is putting people off. The endless RTing fans that bought 3-5 copies of his books and numerous bottles of his whisky, and the shrines we see is the thing where I go hmmm... Why does he need that? Is it to strike his ego and to keep the hype he started to believe in himself?

I do see several people being inspired by MPC and feeling supported by the local groups tight to it. It's a good thing and I'm happy for them and the charities that benefit from it. It's the cult aspect though that makes me go hmmm....

Talking about being successful, aren't we all, to some extend? In our jobs, in our personal lives? It's not going to end up in a list of the NYT, we might not have the number of figures he has on his bank account, but do we measure success by that?

What I'm trying to say Anon, is you're right, we don't need to rip his success apart because of what we see right now. There's good things and there's bad things. Right now we're seeing things that makes people lose their respect for him and makes it hard to being a fan. He's not special, he's not more (or less) then any of us. When we screw up, people around us are going to let us know too.

We've a saying in the Netherlands saying 'Vertrouwen en een goede reputatie komt te voet maar gaat te paard'. Translated, Trust and a good reputation comes by foot but leaves by horse. You do ten things good, screw up once and people will talk bad about you. It might not seem fair, but it's the reality we all learned at some point.

Now coming back to the beginning of my answer to you Anon. Why and what snapped in me was his covidiocy. When I came here, the first time mostly just reading and took me a while to create my own account, was 2 years ago. Thinking I saw a humble guy, funny how he answered his fans on Twitter. Then soon HI-gate enrolled and I was disappointed and appalled. By him, yes but also by his fandom, the way people were bullied on Twitter just by saying what they honestly thought about his behaviour then. Perhaps a few in a harsh way, but most of them in a normal way, not denigrating any of his success at that time.

I made my Excuse me video, my way to express what I saw. I mostly kept quiet about his covidiocy during the rest of the year and this year. Others here were more loud about that, I kinda side eyed it as with the vaccine things seemed to ease up, and we all hoped we saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Last week however the news about the omricon variant put us in a partial lock down again. Right before the holidays, and here in the Netherlands right before 'Sinterklaas' (which is celebrated tomorrow). It's limiting our freedom (again), and seeing what we saw, the places he was in, being with someone coming right from the country where it originated.. well I wrote, I can't see how this is going to end when people still are able to behave like this. It's not only him, but on top of what we saw since the pandemic began... you can see how that is affecting his reputation, can't you? At the moment I can't side eye it anymore, it affects my personal live too! And that makes it hard to keep on writing in a balanced way about him right now.

I hope you don't mind me posting your message, I think it's a good one and respect you for it. I hope you can understand my arguments and feelings too. You don't have to agree, but I hope you find some merit in it like I did in yours.

[becca-e-barnes]

The "minors DNI" posts that I've been seeing crop up everywhere by fic writers are always so interesting to me.

First and foremost, I 100% support your decision to post a "minors DNI" for your safety and their safety. You're being responsible, doing your due diligence as a responsible adult, and trying to ensure that everyone enjoys what you put out there in a safe way.

And I know you specifically have not said this so this is not a slight on you by any means, but I think you'd be more open to the discourse of such an interesting topic like this—the problem I have with some fic writers is that is them saying they will block anyone who does not have their age posted in their blog.

This, I believe, is an incredibly dangerous precedent to set. On the one hand displaying your age if you are over 18 seems like a non-issue, right? Sure. But setting the precedent that people should display their age in their blog encourages minors to share their age on the internet which in turn can make them an easier target.

Personal preference for me—I'm a thirty-two year old lady (plz sing this appropriately) and do not share my age in my tumblr because, well I don't want to.

We're all technically violating TOS anyway, so it doesn't really matter if a minor interacts with your fic or not at this point—by interact I mean like/reblog/comment, not DMing you to talk about sexual stuff. That stuff you should absolutely block/delete for obvious legal and safety reasons.

And while I understand the legality thing, if you are not explicitly engaging with said minor, there's not a whole bunch that could hold up in court. How many lawsuits do you think E.L. James gets for 13 year olds waltzing into a bookstore or buying 50 shades of grey off amazon and reading it? There was actually an interesting article written about the "common sense" engagement with this book back in 2012.

Anywho, you are right to ask and set a boundary, and do what you feel is right to protect yourself and using the DNI minor blanket statement is ultimately a good thing, especially if it's a personal uncomfortableness with minors reading your work. However, even if a minor just decided to lie and say they were 21 and read your stuff anyway, unknowingly interacting with a minor is just as bad legally as knowingly doing so so at the end of the day, we're still just taking risks. The safest thing for all of us would probably be to not interact with anyone or ask everyone to use anon, but there's not fun or friendship in that. Your mutual who has stated they're 25 could still be 16 and you wouldn't know it.

My perspective may also just be entirely outdated as well because I grew up in the internet age of it being a lawless wasteland and everyone lied about everything, so I don't see the value in trying to police my work when people will just read it anyway and I don't have any control over that at the end of the day other than to tag appropriately and/or not post anything at all ever.

This was long and not necessary to answer, I'm just always fascinated by the rigor at which fanfic writers are so quick to banish people for not putting their age in their bios when I think it is inherently more dangerous for minors to do so because it puts a target on their back.

Before I start, I recognise that we’re of the same line of thought! I saw this long message and panicked thinking that someone had taken an issue with my stance on it and I’m glad that’s not the case 🙈 Anything I raise here is in the interest of discussion and I completely respect your point of view. 💗

This is really interesting actually and truth be told, I’ve avoided any discussion on this topic for a very long time for fear that I won’t adequately explain my stance on it. I feel like I’ve had a chance to do that and I hope it’s been taken up by everyone as I intended.

I will admit; as a minor, I read smut. Without going into detail, it entirely warped my perspective on how relationships should look. To provide a little context on my stance, at 14/15 (and younger), I had no business reading the things I was reading. Unfortunately, I was in a “relationship” at the time and I fully believed that I had to engage with my boyfriend in ways that mirrored what I was reading. I ended up in situations I didn’t want to be in. To me, it’s my responsibility as a writer and as someone who learned the hard way, to ensure that younger people don’t make the same mistakes I did.

I do fully agree, minors stating their real age on their blog raises all sorts of different issues, as you rightly said. You’re absolutely right, to a minor there are no advantages to displaying your real age on here. Fic writers will block you, creeps will be more likely to engage with you. So I fully understand that this might seem like a reason to lie or provide no age at all.

Leading on from that though, if a minor lies on their profile and claims to be over 18 and they interact with my smut, from a legal perspective, that is not going to have any repercussion on me. I have put my disclaimers up, I vet as many profiles as I can and I do everything I would be reasonably expected to do in the eyes of the law. (This isn’t an area of law I studied in significant depth but that standard of reasonable expectation would still apply). I do as much as I can to protect myself and them.

You brought up 50 Shades and I understand your point but the issue here is not just the fic itself. If anyone comments/ reblogs my fic, I like to send a little reply back! I love when people take the time to give me feedback and I want to thank them for it, as a lot of other writers do! The issue here being that if the blog commenting is a minor, the writer would be engaging in a conversation about sexual material with a minor. And that’s fucking messy. This is mainly where fics differ from a teenager buying a copy of 50 shades. In that situation, there’s no interaction there between the author and the underage fan so it loses that personal element.

On the issue of blogs with no age, I see where you’re coming from and I see that you both read and write fanfiction. But I also see it from the other perspective given that a lot of writers like to do as much as possible to protect themselves and potential minors.

I totally support that’s a boundary that you set and it’s your choice. In the same sense that it’s a fic writer’s choice to protect themselves by blocking you. It’s a matter of boundaries clashing at the end of the day. I really do see both sides here. I’m a really organised person so honestly, if anyone wanted to send me a private message just confirming they’re over 18, I’d put them all into a list to make sure I don’t accidentally block them for interacting. But of course, not every writer would be able to do that and I’m sure many readers would want to do that either! I just see it as the only way to compromise on that issue and keep everyone happy.

Thank you for sending me this! I hope I covered everything and if I haven’t been clear enough in some areas, feel free to come back to me! 🙈 And I really appreciate actually having a discussion on here! It’s so great to hear others’ points of view in a nice, respectful way. Tumblr loses that sometimes! Have a lovely evening 💗