#also..considerations for where they are..

[busket]

people talk a lot about how folks have forgotten how to behave in public since the pandemic, how people seem to be generally louder, less specially aware, less socially considerate. and I would agree but I also think people have forgotten how to exist in public spaces and recognize you're never going to have the same level of comfort and control that you have in private, and that's okay. sometimes people are going to be loud and it's not inconsiderate. people are going to laugh and talk to each other above a whisper. sometimes people will have items that take up space; sometimes people just take up more space in general and they can't help it. sometimes you and other people don't have perfect control over your surroundings and over other people, and that's okay and it's not worth getting angry about. if you want an environment where you can have perfect control of the sound and light and objects and people around you. idk, stay in your house?

[sunsetsmakemesad]

Look man the world is big and wide and there are places where there is no western normative therapy and there was a time where such therapy didn't even exist. Does this mean that every person from those places/time period had something inherently wrong with them because they didn't have therapy?

Therapy is a man made invention. It is not free of flaws or criticism. The idea that in order to get better you must talk to a professional about everything is very redundant and a narrow viewpoint.

It works for some people! It can be helpful! But it does nothing if the person going to therapy isn't willing to change. People are capable of helping themselves and changing for the better. Communities are obviously also important for healing and just having people around you can massively help. But the most important thing is the person's will. They are the only ones who can hear their inner thought proccess and they get to decide what they wish to change or if they wish to change at all. If they don't, that's not because they don't go to therapy, it's because of their own decision. People can heal without psych wards or medication or therapists. They can get better.

Healing is different for everyone. How would one(considerably modern) solution work for every person on earth?

nobody in the fucking world is obligated to go to therapy. "not going to therapy" is never a moral failure. the only thing you're obligated to do is to treat other people with respect. the idea that therapy is the only path to being a person who's safe to be around is so fucking warped and rotten i can't believe how deeply ingrained it is in our society that even well-meaning people parrot it without thinking

[crepezinhos]

Patriarchy

POV: Waking up back to the 1700s wasn’t as bad as you expected it to be when you had your best friend, Phainon, accompanying you through your new journey. Now you have the chance to begin feminism yourself! How much more advanced will society be if manage to get women equal rights by 1800 instead of 1900?! But, when you were close to getting one right in specific, Phainon’s support of you was suddenly… gone.

⚠️ WARNINGS:

— This is a Yandere SFW work

— Reader is FEMALE and uses SHE/HER pronouns

— Contains: Possessive, obsessive and abusive behavior, a bit of physical abuse, misogynistic behavior and confinement.

— Arranged!Phainon x Arranged!Reader

— AU is: 1700s Europe

“Y/N! You’re back!” Phainon screamed excitedly from the main staircase of your shared palace when he saw you standing in your mansion’s entrance, beginning to step down towards you faster than he was doing previously. “How was it on the streets today?” He asked when he finally finished climbing down and jumped off the stairs, walking towards you with his arms behind his back excitedly.

You, happy to see him too, were quick to take off your hat, jacket and accessories with the help of your lady-in-honor, staring back at Phainon’s joyful ocean-blue eyes.

“It was fine. The army resistance was surprisingly very little today so we didn’t have much trouble doing our protest.” You reciprocated his excitement, bowing to your maid in gratefulness before she could start walking away and taking your things back to your bedroom.

“That’s great to hear, Y/N!” Phainon replied, eyes shining with pure admiration of your courage. “I also have good news.” He blinked to you with a smirky grin in his lips, just waiting for you to ask him about his achievement so he could brag about whatever he’d done.

“Oh? What is it?” You crossed your arms casually, finally putting an end to the classy and formal behavior that you adapted to to follow the societal norms of the town where you two live in.

Phainon decided to fix his throat and tie before he could answer you, trying to make himself a bit more classy and snobby before flexing whatever news he had.

“Our pads and tampons are making such a huge success that one of my investors managed to begin trading our products with all North, Central and South America.” Phainon talked in a slightly sarcastic tone, obviously trying to exaggerate it to you so you could be extra happier with it.

“Are you serious?! No way! All three Americas at the same time?!” You gasped in shock, almost skipping in joy while imagining what would be all kinds of women trying out those items and finding out just how extraordinarily better they are than whatever they were currently using to absorb their menstruations.

“Yessir!” Phainon opened both his arms,welcoming all that joy you were expressing.

Every day, Phainon somehow managed to surprise you with good news and raise your spirits about your current life whether it was because of his mindless kindness and consideration of you or with his intelligent marketing skills. You admired him so much that you didn’t even like imagining what would your life be without him in this universe. You’d probably just find yourself marrying an old man who has zero interest or empathy with you, much less in your feminist ideals, and only gives you the bare minimum attention to keep you sane.

The difference between all men and Phainon is that you and him were modern. While other men thought with a non-industrial mindset of making a few thousands for profit, Phainon, who has lived with billionaires, thinks immediately about the millions he can profit because he knows exactly what to invest in. And while other women were mostly illiterate and solely worried with things like their marriage and birthing dozens of kids for their husbands, you were worried about ‘men things’ such as the job market and human progress and you had knowledge about all sorts of things. Because of this, you two were an extremely powerful duo. Your success was sudden, massive and impressive, leaving every man and woman from all social classes either inspired or envious. You two reigned everything. Either your or Phainon’s presence was highly valued in every party you stepped in, whether as an annoyance, taking everyone’s eyes away from the main objective of the ball, or as a blessing, since your presence meant that the party was entertaining.

After all, whatever the perfect couple interacts with or believes in, many others will want to interact with it or follow your beliefs too.

Yes, you and Phainon were technically a couple that got married a few months ago, but in practice, you two didn’t even sleep in the same room. It was an arranged business that you two agreed to do because women cannot really live without a husband and neither you or Phainon wanted you to be bullied for the rest of your life, so joining family, money and forces was obviously the smartest choice. You two had a little wedding and a marriage certification, but no kiss was ever seen after the fake one in the altar.

Your ‘marriage’ was actually one of the first triggers to awaken women into feminism. It was completely alternative. You weren’t forced to display affection with him publicly, you had all rights to complain and raise your voice to Phainon, Phainon had zero demands to you regarding his satisfaction with his life or kids, while at the same time he’d spoil you nonstop. It made women crave that freedom from their husbands, who all thought you were a greedy witch and that Phainon deserved better. But there was nothing they could do about it. His money reigned the country. So much that it made this sinful way of life of yours affordable and even cultural. It’s not his fault he know as exactly what inventions will be successful or not, but he’ll only keep growing, and whatever you two do will be what people want to do too. ‘His’ idea about creating tampons and pads was actually a request from you. Using random, non-absorbing cloths as pads was horrible and barely efficient, making your routine horrible during menstruation, so you decided to talk to Phainon about it, who immediately went after the creation of tampons and pads. A perfect example of how you two were iconic. Phainon already knew tampons and pads would be an immediate millionaire success, and all women envied the dedication of your husband to you compared their own men.

There is so much Phainon has done to you… He gave you a whole personal room for you to sleep in without him, a whole garden that had all the flowers you wished, he bought you all the dresses and makeup you wanted and every reform and furniture of the house was ordered by you. It felt like his life mission was assuring you a comfortable, almost free life, but it still felt incomplete to you because of one reason. The inferiority of women. Seeing women being sent away at age of 15 to marry a 40 year-old man made your heart ache with anguish. Seeing men shame prostitutes for their jobs and even throw tiny rocks on them made you angry. Seeing men’s hypocrisy to force women into a religion and a cult of purity that they don’t follow on their own made your blood boil… A much larger list of failures in this patriarchal system made you revolt, so you begun using your influence and money to create feminism.

And your ideas were expectedly booming between all women of your country, and Congress was slowly becoming more and more convinced that it wouldn’t be horrible idea to give women a few rights.

“I know I’m awesome, I know.” Phainon used a hand to push his frontal hair back to act even prouder of himself in front of you.

“We’re making so much progress in so little time! I can’t believe we are the first era of feminists and we’re turning out to be so successful!” You tip-toed in the floor, holding your own cheeks with excitement.

“We? No, no, no… you.” Phainon’s fingers suddenly reached to your chest bone and pressed it down, forcing all the credits for the success of the feminist movement to you. “And a lady like you deserves a delicious meal in compensation for her work, don’t you think?” He took away his finger off you, but his face leaned a bit closer to you too, staring at you deeply with admiration. “Follow me, Y/N.” He blinked a bit seductively, making you giggle, and when you looked down, his hands was hanging open in front of you just waiting for you to hold it.

And so you did, inflating your chest with air to show him your excitement and how high were your expectations. Phainon giggled at your behavior, beginning to gently pull you around the house.

You and Phainon silently walked in direction of the dinging room, only a few noises of creaking wood accompanying your steps. The silence wasn’t awkward, only a bit tense due to the circumstances you were in. Every corridor you two walked through, the house would become quieter and darker despite still being early afternoon. Your dining room was in a corner of the house where no background noise could annoy you and him, meaning it was distant from the home’s main entrance. And when you had finally reached the long, dark and narrow hall that led to nothing but the dining room in its end, Phainon decided to break the silence.

“You also have a second appointment today, don’t you? Or maybe tomorrow? Or maybe it already happened?” Phainon turned half of his face to you, staring at you with curiosity.

“A second appointment? I don’t—” Before you could finish speaking, your brain suddenly brought back a memory of you and some of your friends talking about future plans and played it for you.

It was you, Ms. Castorice and Ms. Algaea, the other two co-leaders of your movement, discussing about some great news in Aglaea’s mansion. Congress had accepted to participate in a debate with you and a team of other 5 people about giving women a few rights. You and them were discussing about which topics to bring up, which people to form a team with, and when should the debate happen.

“Cat got your tongue?” Phainon woke you up from your thoughts, laughing at your frozen face and still staring at it now with a mischievous stare.

“I do!” You snapped the fingers of your other free hands. “I-I have to go to Congress by 6 tonight!” Phainon’s eyes widened when you reminded him of what appointment was scheduled for today or maybe sometime else.

“Ah, yes!” Phainon stopped walking and let your hand go. “You were telling me about your plans for it a few days ago!” He pointed to you with a hand, trying to relate to you.

“Yes, yes, yes! I’ve prepared such good arguments to tell the Congress! It’ll be very difficult for them for them to deny our requests, much less with a good reason!” You crossed your arms again, remembering the expectations you had set. “Can you imagine? By tomorrow we might get the right to divorce! Women will get the right to divorce!” Phainon’s eyes widened when he felt the impact of those news.

“Seriously? The right to divorce this early?!” His mouth dropped to the floor as you confidently nodded to him.

“Yessir! We might finally be able to ask for a divorce too!” You laughed at your own additional words, but you quickly realized that Phainon went fully quiet while you were, so you stopped laughed and looked him, only to see he did not reciprocate, still with the same widened expression in his face, but his mouth was not smiley anymore.

“What do you mean?” He asked a bit confused.

“Me and you… Getting a divorce…” You pointed to him and you as you spoke, then you put your hands together only to separate them, representing what divorce was.

But Phainon’s expression turned horrified and almost pale when you separated your hands from each other, apparently taking it as a genuine offense.

“Why..?” His eyebrows frowned, looking as you worried.

“Well.. because we aren’t exactly married… This is all just for survival, remember?” You laughed a bit to try cooling him off, but Phainon’s expression only seemed to sadden even more.

“But… we’re fine together, aren’t we? We’re surviving really well, aren’t we? So why would you want to divorce?” Phainon stepped closer to you once, and this hall started to feel like it’d became narrower.

“W-Well, yeah, we’re doing good, but if I get women the right to divorce and to work independently, I won’t need you anymore… I mean, we were not doing this back in Amphoreus for a reason…” You laughed it off again, but then his hurt expression and silence made you realize you shouldn’t be giving him any reasoning. “What’s going on, Phainon?” You darkened your expression, trying to get straight to the point.

“I’ve been a good husband, haven’t I? I’ve made you happy all this time, haven’t I?” Phainon now sounded visibly anxious, breath almost hitching as he slowly stepped closer and closer to you, forcing you to repel and step backwards.

“Yeah, Phainon, but you’re not actually my husband. No need to call yourself one…” You laughed at his words, not sympathizing with his worry. “This is all an act for us to survive in this society, remember? There is no actual love or dependence between us or anything…” Phainon’s eyes widened with that last phrase as if you said something that just crushed his heart.

“W-What..?” Phainon’s cute puppy eyes stared at you with dying hope, but you still didn’t feel the slightest pity for him.

“Phainon, seriously, what the fuck is going on?” You decided to step forward this time, setting your ground for him to understand he was almost disrespecting your space.

Phainon didn’t answer you at first, only reluctantly staring at your eyes with his shaky blue pupils. It costed him quite a while to build courage to be truthful with you, gulping down his accumulated saliva and turning his head down to avoid the shame of what he has in his mind.

“I… I don’t want a divorce.” His confession came out as loud as a whisper, which made you not understand what he said initially and forced you to guess it.

Jointing the few syllables you’ve heard and assuming the words and articles he’d said with the help of context clues, you’d concluded he’d said ‘I don’t want a divorce’, which immediately triggered you to have a negative reaction. But you still remained quiet, trying to comprehend why would he want to stay married to you. Maybe he’s afraid to live without a wife in this rigid society? But he’s a man… You are the one supposed to be afraid of living without a husband. Or maybe he’s thinking about that? About your safety and comfort living in this society without a husband? Or maybe… that alternative you’ve been avoiding to recognize ever since the day of your ‘marriage’..?

…

No, it can’t be. He would never.

So you just sighed, throwing that thought to the back of your and concluding your investigation. Phainon did not want a divorce, and he doesn’t want it because he’s worried about you.

“You don’t a want a divorce?” You firmly queried, trying to have a bit of confirmation over your guess, a hand of yours moving to the necklace you wore to fidget it while he answered.

“Yes…” He mumbled shyly and you scoffed in pride of having guessed it correctly, still not understanding why was he be acting like this if his intentions were so pure.

“Why?” You inflated your chest again, preparing for whatever he wanted to say now.

“Because…” He tried to answer your question immediately, but the knot in his throat impeded him from finishing. “Because…” And he tried again, a bit less desperately, failing so miserably he looked down to the floor again in embarrassment.

And so, you exhaled, letting all that imprisoned air in your lungs in a sigh. Since he couldn’t say it for himself, you’d do it for him.

“I appreciate your worry for my comfort, Phainon, but I can definitely live on my own. I don’t care about what these people have to say about me and my choices. In fact, they can feel free to bully me as much as they want, I’ll still be milking more money than them in the end of the day.” You spoke less firmly, trying to see if that would make him feel comfortable to be more honest with you. “I can’t even guarantee that we will get the right to divorce in the first place anyway…” You tried to be a bit more optimistic, but then you immediately regretted it in recognition that it is needed to be realistic in a situation like this. “But I’ll still go to Congress today and fight for it. For me and all the women that need to get away from their husbands.” You could see Phainon swallowing another big chunk of saliva when you finished talking, surprisingly having a negative reaction again.

“For you? Why you?” Phainon stepped closer once again, face only becoming more stunned, which truly disturbed you.

“You’re scaring me, Phainon.” You brought your shoulders closer to your body, trying to make yourself more resistant and tolerable to his behavior.

“I don’t mean to scare you, Y/N… I just want to know why do you want a divorce when we’re so happy together…” He tried to argue in a way that still didn’t reveal his reason, but seeing how unmoved and suspicious you still were of him, he sighed and squinted his eyes. “I don’t want a divorce…” He stated his intentions again, but in a weak tone that made him sound like a hungry puppy, trying to make you feel guilty.

And that pissed you off. You believed Phainon was genuinely not trying to intentionally manipulate you into staying married him, but he was still acting unreasonably.

“But I do.” You countered him firmly. “And I will get it.” You wanted to turn away and immediately walk back to your room, but the moment you spun your right foot, before you could even start about turning your full body away from him, Phainon reacted to your words.

“No, you won’t..!” The tone of his voice deepened in such a rapid way that made you stop and look back at his eyes immediately, a sense of danger growing in the back of your mind.

“Yes, I will.” Feeling even more cornered by the hall’s tightness and afraid of Phainon, you decided to turn away abruptly in a speed that would stun Phainon for a moment before he could possibly catch you and bring you back to the discussion.

“Where are you going..?!” You heard Phainon stomp forward harshly, launching himself forward to reach your wrist and hold you tight with his large hand.

“Let me go, Phainon.” You decided to turn your eyes back to his again, trying to use your presence to order him, forcing yourself to control your voice from shaking as you spoke, taking his action as a threat to your security.

“Why are you trying to leave..? Why are you trying to leave me?!” His eyes were fully widened with anguish as he desperately filled you with two questions to answer.

“I’m just… not hungry anymore. I’ll eat later.” You quickly mumbled a fake reasoning, but it didn’t seem to convince him. After all, Phainon’s eyebrows noticeably frowned.

“That’s not true. Why are you lying to me..?” His grip in your wrist tightened in a way that made you grunt from the pain.

“Phainon, you’re hurting me..!” You tried to pull your hand away from him, only to be fully held back, which only made you even more nervous and scared of him.

“I don’t want us to divorce, Y/N… We don’t need a divorce…” He suddenly turned a bit soft again, endlessly trying to argue with you about that despite the fact that he was really freaking you out.

“I-I need to prepare for Congress, Phainon..! Let me go at this instant!” You even tried stepping away from him, seeing if it was possible to run away, but it didn’t work due to his heavy weight holding you back.

“No…” He mumbled, looking the deepest he could to your eyes, still trying to find any bit of pity in you and hope for himself.

“You’re only giving me more reasons to divorce you right now, Phainon..! Let me go now!” You had no choice but to try facing him with your own strength, now trying to use your other hand to grab that wrist of his to pull it away from you.

“No… We can’t divorce…” His repetitiveness finally made you snap.

“Yes we can and we will!” You launched your face forward and screamed at him, trying to shake your hand out of his grip the fullest you could.

But that triggered him snap too in reaction to your audacity in making such a hurtful statement.

“NO, WE WON’T!” He screamed at a tone that you’ve never heard from him and didn’t recognize, also finally releasing your wrist.

But before you give your first step backward, or think about his change in tone, something else stunned you again.

SLAP!

Your body immediately fell to the ground as Phainon’s hand smacked across your face, your feet enrolling themselves with the thick layers of your dress, giving your instincts time to only put your palms in the wooden floor before your head actually hit the ground, meaning you successfully landed sat instead of fully laid. But you recovered a second after the fall, so you immediately placed a hand on the cheek Phainon had slapped to ease the arduous pain he inflicted on you and rose your head up to him, finding him powerfully standing right in front of you, staring at you like a caught prey, jailed in a cage.

Neither of you spoke for the next seconds to process what had just happened and only breathed with opened mouths. The more you thought, the more frightened for your life you became, remembering the sudden change in his tone to one you’ve never heard, the slap itself and the threat it represented to your relationship… But the more he thought, the more calm he became in realization that you were frozen in fear, defeated by his action. And that’s why after a last round of breathing in and out deeply, he shut his mouth and calmly walked closer to you, kneeling down in front of you.

“Y/N…” A hand of his also reached the same cheek you were holding, cupping it gently, which only made your skin shiver with disgust of his touch, begging yourself to scream at him to get the fuck away from you. “I’m… I-I’m sorry…” He briefly wheezed, trying to ease the both of you from the mood. “I didn’t mean to… do this… or… t-to scare you.” He pathetically smiled at you, only making you wish to run away from him even more, but your adrenaline could only afford to freeze your body in that sat position. “I just… don’t want us to divorce… There’s no good reason to do that… That’s all…” He gulped down again.

You knew it. Deep down, you’ve always known it. You just didn’t want to admit it.

But maybe… you should’ve definitely talked to him about it sooner.

Phainon’s kindness… was never just friendly.

And there were always many little signs that rose that flag…

For example, the way he’d stare at you whenever he gave you a gift, sometimes only a few inches away from your face, just waiting to see the amazing reaction he’d rip out of you. Deep down, it always felt like he urged for more of something you couldn’t name until now. It didn’t feel like he just wanted your comfort and happiness because that’s what friends do, it felt like he did it as if he was your lover. These little gifts, perfectly enveloped in a beautiful wrap, felt like little seduction attempts. After all, the next gift would always be better than the next, as if he wanted to show just how dedicated he is, and convince your heart to let yourself fall for him.

The way he treated you during the day of your marriage… In the altar, what was supposed to be just a quick smooch to pose a fake picture of yourselves to the crowd witnessing you, turned out to be so much more touchy, intimate and even… real, like real couples do. And even when the vows were done, he kept throwing himself at you and holding your hands for the rest of the celebration party, for some reason so happy with the day. Friends don’t stick their tongues inside their friends’ mouths when it’s needed to fake a kiss. It wasn’t just an act.

And the one habit that mostly made you icky about thinking about Phainon’s possibly feeling things for you… The way his eyes stoned in you and his cheeks flushed whenever he saw you trying any ball dresses and makeup for the parties you were invited to or even when he saw you in your rendered pijamas when you two were home… They always delivered you a message of lust, and you don’t want any of your friends to lust over you, much less Phainon in such a situation like yours right now. But it was true, Phainon would not react to you being pretty like a friend would.

You should’ve accepted it sooner. But now it’s too late. You’ve let this grow. You are reaping what you sowed.

Phainon liked you as more than a friend.

“But think about it… Wouldn’t it be iconic? The leader of the feminist movement herself doing all of this work to get the right of divorce when she, on her own, does not desire to divorce her husband? You could show them that it is possible to be a feminist and be a married woman at the same time…” His thumb caressed your hand, lamenting that he couldn’t directly reach your fluffy cheek.

But you were still too stunned to say anything, despite the thousands of protests running in your mind, begging to be shouted.

“We are such a good duo… Why would you ever want to put and end to us? Put an end to our influence? Our impact? Our empire?” Phainon looked at you with more pity, assuming his position of total power over you. “We don’t need to be exactly like other couples… I would never force you to do that… We can still be exactly like how we are today, but all I want is to still be able to live in the same house as you… and call you my wife.” Phainon pulled that hand of yours that held your cheek and turned it around, making your palm face down.

And with very slow movements, he smooched your knuckles, smiling softly at them. And then he looked down at your fingers, meeting that engagement ring that the both of you were forced to wear to avoid any accusations or bullying, and that made his grin grow, blue eyes shining with joy. He leaned down and kissed the ring too with more intensity, sucking your skin for a bit to demonstrate just how much he valued that golden ring.

“I just want you to wear this ring with me for the rest of your life… Is that too much to ask from you? I’ve done so many harder things for you…” Phainon laid his cheek on your hand, rubbing himself against it as if it was the comfiest pillow he’d ever laid on.

He kept doing that for a few seconds before he kissed your hand again… and then again… again, again and again, many spots in it becoming a bit moistened with his saliva. He even turned your hand around and begun kissing your palm and its heel as deep as he could.

“I love you, Y/N…” He mumbled in your skin with closed eyes, breath warming up your skin. “I really do…” He made sure his message was clearly sent to you, pausing for a moment to let you absorb it. “But I can’t let you do this to us… to me…” He opened his eyes, staring at you with a weird kind of pity again, as if he wasn’t bothered by your discomfort, like a masochist would.

But then he stood up again, not offering you any help to get up too.

“You won’t go to Congress today.” He stated a bit more seriously, contrasting his previous tone as he stared down at you very firmly, before he started to calmly walk away from the scene as if he hadn’t just done something completely absurd and out of normal.

Your eyes followed his body in fear, watching him walk with his hands holding each other behind his back ao elegantly, each step making the wood planks creak a bit. In the end of the hall, where you two came from, Phainon met one of your many maids standing still with an uncomfortable expression visible in her face, but still forcing herself to do her job as either your or his servant.

“If you see her trying to leave tonight, don’t let her. You understand?” Phainon spoke to the maid very gently, contrasting himself once again.

“Yes, sir.” She nodded, assuming her new responsibility.

“Good. You may call me or the guards in the gate if that happens.” Phainon assigned the maid her permissions, making her nod again, but silently. “Go tell the other maids their new assignment.” He used to a hand to tap her shoulder twice very sweetly.

“Yes, my master.” She gently bowed to him again, making Phainon grin, feeling comfortable enough to keep walking away from the scene.

When he finally turned to the left and fully left you alone, the maid looked at you again, staring at your pitiful situation with mixed feelings. It was a silent communication, but you could still get her general message, the same way she could get yours.

After all the efforts you’ve been doing to push a feminist agenda in your town to all kinds of women and men, you’ve failed to do that in your own home with your own maids. The same women who were stuck in your palace, working 24/7 to keep every detail of your home perfect and make your routine as easy as possible, were neglected by you and your movement, just like how in real life some women were neglected from the early stages of feminism too. And now you were suffering the harshest consequences of it you could suffer. She pitied you and even seemed to wish she could do something for you, but all she was ever taught to do in this sort of job was obey the man’s command, meaning she’d betray her own beliefs and risk her whole career if she dared to think about helping you, which would be disobeying Phainon. So all she could do was give that silent treatment until she couldn’t bare her own grief anymore and begun to walk away in the same direction as Phainon did, beginning to call him by his nickname, her voice echoing in your ears lightly.

How could you forget? You live in a conservative patriarchy.

Phainon is the man in your relationship.

In conservative patriarchies, the man is always the leader. The woman is just his follower. A servant who is always mindlessly ready to please him.

And he likes this system the way it is.

Today he just made that very clear. The roles of the relationship were established.

Taglist: @gaboplaydespacito

Don’t forget to like and comment if you liked it! <3

[padmerry]

Stanford Pines: “and isn’t it suffocating?”

This is basically my attempt to understand the issues of the Stan twins’ relationship from teen Ford’s point of view and the reason(s) for their separation. Was Ford really feeling suffocated by his relationship with Stan? If so, why? And when did it start? When did things start to shift in this direction, if once they were just fine? There’s just so much to unpack.

I don’t think I need to point out, to most fans, where the word “suffocating” comes from. It was a very memorable scene, if nothing else, since a lot of people hated Ford for it.

Behold the scene in question:

I think it’s so obvious that Ford was projecting and actually talking about his and Stan’s relationship here that I won’t even attempt to prove that, hahah.

Now, is this Ford... a) talking about his true feelings regarding his and Stan’s relationship when he was young, even before the science fair incident, or b) lying to himself, as he presumably started to do ever since (but only after) the science fair incident?

First, I’d like to invite you to actually listen to Ford’s voice/watch his mannerisms as he says this, here (timestamped). The thing is that... he doesn’t sound very bitter! He doesn’t sound like he’s throwing shade at Stan. Instead, he sounds and looks—pay attention to his eyebrows—like he’s genuinely puzzled. Does Dipper... really think he’s not meant for something more? Why! He’s so brilliant, with so much potential! Just like Ford when he was younger! The poor boy must be really attached to his sister...

Second, I’d like to invite you to not be so harsh on Ford, as he says that it, nor she is suffocating—the relationship Dipper has with the girl, not the girl herself. Not that Ford can’t be mean! He can be terribly mean, sometimes, especially out of spite. But the man has some limits. He wouldn’t say this about his twelve-year-old niece.

Another thing to be taken into consideration is that Ford was convinced Mabel would be fine, since she had “a magnetic personality.” This is a trait he very likely also attributes to Stan! In TBoB, for example, he was convinced of Stan’s ability to make the waitress laugh. There’s a lot of evidence for the fact that Ford had no idea of how badly Stan was faring and/or would fare without him, due to the idealized version of Stan Pines in his head.

That said, here is the behind-the-scenes commentary on Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future:

Alex Hirsch: Ford offers Dipper [an] apprenticeship because Ford sees Dipper as somebody who’s special like himself. And that’s Ford’s great flaw, that arrogance. He believes there are special people and everyone else.

Jason Ritter: And that you can be held back by your siblings, maybe.

Alex Hirsch: Yeah, he believes that attachments are actually weaknesses.

It has been said before Alex is too harsh on Ford, hahah. (If you have actually read enough of his interviews and listened to all his commentaries, like I did, you’ll realize he’s harsh on most of his characters, including Dipper and Stan!) That is, however, something also made canon in J3 in many, many excerpts, and stated by Ford himself quite plainly here:

“I thought being a great man meant being alone.”

And of course, his advice to Dipper in the show itself:

“Don’t let anyone hold you [back].” His choice of words is interesting. “Anyone,” not “anything.”

I do believe this line meant exactly what we think it did, since Ford, for all his “Mabel will be fine,” immediately guessed that she didn’t take it well as a visibly upset Dipper returned to his side:

When did he start developing this mindset, though? Before or after the science fair?

I think some of you might have read the (in)famous TVInsider 2016 interview in which Alex states Ford saw his brother as a “bumbling leech” (ouch!) his “entire life.”

In terms of Stan and his brother’s conflict, we always wanted a moment where Ford saw that he was wrong. Ford’s spent an entire life imagining himself as this lone solitary hero and imagining his brother as this bumbling leech. From a narrative point of view, for Ford to see Stan be the hero finally lets Ford see the true side of his brother that he’s been too blinded by pride to see.

Now, an important fact is that—I think many people fail to grasp this—Ford looking down on Stan doesn’t mean Ford not loving Stan. My boy can and will multitask!

And, of course, “entire life” didn’t actually mean Ford’s entire life! It was definitely an exaggeration on Alex’s part, meant to convey that for most of Ford’s life, presumably from late teen years old to the current age, Ford looked down on his brother.

We know for sure that baby Ford never looked down on Stan, and in fact defended him from the Sibling Brothers in the last Lost Legends comic!

But one thing we also see is how baby Ford already shares, to a certain extent, adult Ford’s ambition:

Another trait, equally important, early on: the tendency to think he was special and/or different from everyone else, for better or for worse. Like one of the very first things Stan told us in his childhood retelling in AToTS, “As if his abnormally high IQ wasn’t enough, he also had a rare birth defect: six fingers on each hand. Which might have explained his obsession with sci-fi mystery weirdness.”

As he grows up, he also grows, understandably, very proud of his accomplishments. In Stan’s words, “Ford’s brains seemed to get more impressive every year.”

He grows to embrace the “freak” part of him more and more, both ashamed and proud of not fitting in. Like Bill so gently phrased it in TBoB: “The ego of a king. The insecurity of a circus freak.” (I take all his words with a grain of salt, of course, but sometimes he hits the nail on the head.)

But what does this mean for his relationship with Stan?

I think the first thing we have to know is that Stan is Ford’s identical twin, something that is heavily alluded to in canon and confirmed by Word of God. The first comment from Alex regarding this matter that I could find was this tweet from 2015. Then it was further confirmed in many episodes of the DVD commentaries (the first ones already mention it) and indirectly implied by Bill on the TBoB website.

Why is this even important? Twins of the same gender, especially identical aka monozygotic twins, tend to struggle with identity issues. Not only the same birthday, but the same face—that without having to share even a name.

The second thing is that they only ever had each other. I talk more about their codependency here, elaborating on the differences between the relationships of Dipper & Mabel and Stan & Ford.

Again, I borrow Alex’s words when asked about Shermie’s role in the family as Stan and Ford’s brother in HanaHyperfixates’ and ThatGFFan’s interview:

In terms of Shermie, I remember asking Rob or somebody at some point, like, “Would Shermie be here, logically? Do we have to see him?” I don’t really wanna see him. I’m not interested in that. I’m interested in Stan and Ford being—sort of having only each other and then losing each other because of their different life paths.

Let’s not forget, too, the only time Ford ever mentions Shermie in Journal 3—“Sherman Pines’s,” surname and all:

The best example we have of this in the show is probably Stan’s line in AToTS, “Those bullies may have been right about us not making many friends, but when push comes to shove, you only really need one.” Stan not only acknowledges their dynamic, but sounds very content with it.

Was Ford content with it, tough? That’s... more complicated.

Like we’ve established, these two were identical twins (unlike Dipper and Mabel, fraternal and of different genders) and only had each other (again, unlike Dipper and Mabel), which not only exacerbated their codependency but also their identity issues. They were used to being two halves of a whole. It’s very telling that in AToTS, “the Pines twins” are both called to the principal’s office, even though only Ford should have been called. They were seen as a single entity.

And don’t get me wrong, Ford has always loved Stan so much. Perhaps part of him even enjoyed the fact his brother trusted and leaned on him so much, depended on him both emotionally and to... get a passing grade.

But for some reason, even before the science fair... things still grew quite awkward. From Stan’s Land Before Swine commentary (DVD extras):

Anyway, cut to high school, the guy’s never kissed a girl, prom is coming up, and he asked me for advice. “Stanley, I know things have been a little weird between you and me with college, but can you talk to me about girls?”

The interesting thing here, to me, is that Ford... straight up recognized the “weirdness” between them to Stan’s face! And the fact Ford felt the need to mention it, as if he couldn’t simply ask his own twin brother for advice about girls without making a sort of acknowledgement first! These brothers once told each other everything... How did things get to this point?

First, notice how Stan says “prom is coming up.” The same prom at which they laughed together and shared a moment of camaraderie after Stan threw punch at himself to share Ford’s humiliation.

Which to me points to the fact it was something gradual, happening little by little, hand in hand with the sweetest moments in their teen years.

Imagine you’re Stanford F. Pines, not yet PhD.

You know you are special. You’re both a genius and a freak. You are always praised by adults around you, by your teachers. This starts to go to your head. You cling desperately to the “genius” part of your identity, so you can be more than a bullied freak. You grow even more ambitious. You can see a future for yourself.

You have a twin brother. You love him more than life itself. But everyone talks, and... aren’t they right, somewhat? Just a little bit right? Stanley isn’t a genius, like you are. That’s a fact. Stanley also doesn’t have ambition, like you have. Stanley isn’t a freak, like you are. It doesn’t mean Stanley isn’t cool! But you are... different from him...

And yet, despite all that, he’s your identical twin brother! You can only ever be one half of a duo. A single entity. Even your name, you share with him. He doesn’t seem bothered by that, but you are. Can’t you just be Ford, for once, no Stan? (Ironically, the fact is lost on you that your brother was always more under your shadow than you ever were under his.)

You start to think that the Stan O’ War isn’t anything more than a beautiful, but ultimately childish, dream. It isn’t very realistic, is it? You could be so much more than that. You could actually make a difference. You could prove everyone wrong about ever calling you a freak. You try to breach the subject with Stanley, but all he wants to talk about is this damn boat. And you care about it too, of course you do, but... Doesn’t he care about anything else?

I can see, so easily, the influence of other people on Ford slowly (and subconsciously) growing, even though his love for Stan didn’t diminish. I can see him noticing the mismatch between his ambition and Stan’s ambition, his academic achievements and Stan’s academic achievements... or lack thereof. Again, this is the teenage version of the little boy getting starry-eyed about seeing his own face in the papers. Except now, the possibility of Stan being there with him... doesn’t seem as likely.

Alex on A Tale of Two Stans (DVD commentary), confirming that the rift between them had started before the principal’s words:

A lot of different ideas that we came up with to suggest, you know, what was the moment where things started to change between them? When they went from best friends—and it felt, as we went to draft, that the right moment would be—sort of—as they’re entering the end of high school they have to make a choice about college and the rest of their lives, they’re speaking to guide counselors. That’s when the world at large is pointing out, “by the way, one of you is amazing!” And the toll that would take on Stan.

Alex being mindful of the difference between love and respect, as seen by his commentary on Stan’s condescending love for Mabel in Land Before Swine:

But this idea that Waddles is sort of a metaphor for what Mabel loves. And Stan loves Mabel but he doesn’t—he doesn’t really think that anything she thinks is necessarily smart or right. You know, he loves like her, ah, she’s my sweet niece, but [Stan’s voice] “she doesn’t know anything.”

I can see, also very easily, Ford having some intrusive thoughts, then immediate guilt over them. For example, after someone mocks Stan for his grades, Ford comforts him while thinking, “but yeah, maybe Stanley could really put more effort in—wait, what? He’s my best friend! I can’t think like that about him!”

Stan’s narration over this scene: “The future was looking bright... for both of us.” Oh, Stan... Ford’s smile looks painfully awkward.

Just notice the difference between Ford’s posture and body language there and here in college!Ford’s picture (and, again, look at Ford’s eyebrows, but also the way he leans in Stan’s direction):

It’s important to remember that this, too—the scene in which Ford smiles awkwardly—was before West Coast Tech.

But now, with West Coast Tech, he finally has something solid. Something tangible. A real way to make a name for himself. And he loves it. Now this is the face of true happiness!

He manages to win even the approval of his famously “not impressed” father!

Borrowing my words from another meta:

Pay attention to Filbrick and Caryn’s shocked faces when it’s revealed to them that Ford’s genius can, actually, earn them millions! Pay attention, too, to the way Ford looks at Filbrick when he’s praised by him. He’s very surprised and ecstatic to receive his father’s approval, a very brief, “I’m impressed,” that wasn’t even expressed directly at Ford. Ford doesn’t act as if it’s something he receives every day or casually. He was in fact feasting on crumbs.

Ford also knew it was not unconditional acceptance. From Ford’s point of view, at least, he was worth exactly just as much as he could earn Filbrick, and Bill’s threat in TBoB (“your father won’t want you returning without millions”) touches on that insecurity.

But... What about Stan?, you might be thinking. That was, funnily enough, the only thing that Caryn (who didn’t smile or praise Ford once) wanted to know, too.

He’s visibly very upset by having his brother insulted like that, and he didn’t know Stan was on the other side of the door overhearing their whole conversation. But he also doesn’t defend his brother, like Stan likely would have, and Stan doesn’t see Ford’s facial expression. He just hears silence from him.

And no, young Ford had zero difficulty in standing up for himself or for Stan, as seen in Lost Legends and as explained at length in my previous analysis. My own interpretation is that Ford finds it harder to defend himself or Stan from things that, deep down, he considered to be true: the fact that his polydactyly made him a freak, as pointed out by Crampelter and the Sibling Brothers, and Stan’s lack of ambition (and lack of future born out of said lack of ambition), as pointed out by the principal. I don’t think he appreciated his brother being called “a clown” at all, in the same way he didn’t appreciate being called a freak, but I also don’t think he could bring himself to disagree with the point being made here.

This moment in the series was also probably inspired by a real moment in Alex’s life that inspired the scene in which Mabel overhead Ford’s proposal to Dipper, according to the commentary of Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future:

This idea of Mabel overhearing Dipper and feeling left out actually came from a real thing that happened between me and my sister. This is a weird anecdote about me and my sister but we did this kind of like, sort of competitive improv games when we were in middle school, very nerdy. And we did pretty good, like, our team made it to the international competition every year, and there was this high school team... [...] We had a pretty good team, but there was a team above us, the high school team, that was like, legendary, that we wanted to be like. And when me and my sister went from junior high school to high school, like, this is going to be our last year to do this sort of competitive improv, and I got a call from the high school team saying “hey, guess what? we already raided your team for the standout members, we’ve taken the people from your team that always do good scores and we’re combining the high school team and the middle school team into a super team and we would like you to be on the high school team. And I was like, “what about Ariel?” And they were like, “well, there’s only seven members per team—” and Ariel was listening on the conversation and I remember her like, bursting into tears because they had basically been like yeah, we got two Hirsches [and] we only want one, and I didn’t even blink. I just said, “no, I refuse to be on this team.” Like, I couldn’t, it was just like, this is so messed up, you’re breaking this whole thing apart, like yeah, it’s a great team, yeah, you guys are awesome, but I’m not gonna do this without Ariel. And I just remember being this awful moment where some external pressure was telling us like, oh, you gotta choose, you gotta make a choice. Um, like, and it was like this very personal thing. And so like, that’s a big part of the inspiration of like, somebody comes and says, like, you but not you.

Based on Alex’s reaction to such a proposal, it’s not a stretch to think Ford’s silence here was indeed telling, from a narrative viewpoint. It was a deliberate choice from the creator.

And then... Oh boy, the swingset talk.

“Joke’s on them if they think you wanna go to some stuffy college on the other side of the country,” Stan says, then proceeds to boast about their future adventures, only to end it all with a painful expression that shows he doesn’t believe what he is saying. He knows what Ford is truly going to choose.

Stan asks him what would happen if the college board was impressed with his experiment. “Well then, I guess you better come visit me on the other side of the country!” Which indicates he clearly didn’t expect Stan to come with him, either.

Then The Accident happens, and Ford reacts accordingly.

It’s fascinating to me that Ford knew exactly what would bring someone like Stan to do something like sabotage his machine. He doesn’t accuse his brother of feeling jealous of his success or of the attention of their father and teachers! Oh no, that’s not your typical sibling drama of competitiveness, nor an easily solvable lack of communication. Instead, he accuses Stan of sabotaging his machine so Ford would stay with him! Which proves he was aware of Stan’s feelings, despite what a good part of this fandom seems to think! And, while it had been just an accident, a dumb mistake on Stan’s part instead of a deliberate act... Ford is right! Stan really couldn’t handle Ford going to college on his own.

He’s right, because we know Stan’s feelings about this. Stan says, in so many words: “Without Ford, I was just half of a dynamic duo. I couldn’t make it without him. And now, thanks to that dumb college, I was gonna lose my brother forever.” I know the “forever” was perhaps Stan being a bit melodramatic (understandable considering his distress) but it also shows us he didn’t expect their relationship to go back to normal, or for the college to be just one passing fancy. He knew it would be just the start of his brother’s career.

And perhaps this is the last thing you’d expect me to bring up at this point, but...

Do you remember this episode? Little Gift Shop of Horrors? It’s often dismissed as non-canon (due to its hidden keyword being “noncanon”), but even if the events in it didn’t actually happen, the characterization remains very much real.

We talk about Ford projecting on Dipper about a relationship being “suffocating,” but Stan was doing some impressive amount of projecting here too, hah, considering that he was more likely than not making up all the stories.

Just. This entire conversation:

Stan couldn’t be more unsubtle if he tried. And of course, Waddles chooses Mabel, his favorite person in the world.

We know whose “favorite person” Stan wants to be...

But again, back to Ford.

Yay, Ford is free of his suffocating relationship with Stan! Free to do things like looking at pictures of Stan with yearning! Writing that he misses Stan in code while yearning! Staring at the Gravity Falls’ lake with yearning because it reminds him of Stan! The last one in particular is very amusing to me because to study anomalies was basically Ford’s dream job and he loved Gravity Falls and... and yet! There is no place in Gravity Falls he would rather stay than the lake...

You might want to read this for the full extent of Ford’s clownery, but just the fact that Ford canonically (per Word of God) carried a picture of baby Stan in the breast pocket of his coat at least as early as his Gravity Falls researcher days to remember his brother by, is... telling.

That is, without even counting the fact that he has actively attempted to replace Stan with Fiddleford, Bill, and then even poor Dipper! Because, again, he yearns! From Alex’s commentary on Society of the Blind Eye:

Ford as somebody who lost Stan is kinda looking for—even though he rejected his brother, he kinda needs, he needs that other person, and he tried to find that in this kinda sweet prodigy and he just pushed him too far.

Yeah, I know. Ford is quite... confusing. What does he want? To use three other people (or triangle) to fill the role of Stan in his life but still reject and stay away from Stan himself? Everything and nothing, at the same time?

And now I need you to bear with me and read this entire excerpt of the HanaHyperfixates’ and ThatGFFan’s interview, most important parts highlighted in bold:

Ford was very much us building backwards. The same way you know a black hole is there by the light warped around it, it’s like, you know the damage someone’s family has done to them by all of their weird tics and behaviors. So who is the character who would result in Stan being this hurt and needy and mad and also longing?

And so we came up with this guy who kinda seemed too perfect. And is distant. He’s aloof, and distant, and he’s too perfect. And it’s like, “oh! I think he’s also aloof and distant from himself.”

I think he is, uh, deeply deeply hiding from his real feelings about things, because at some point early on, he decided that he could run from hurt by achievement and by creation, and has dug that hole so deep that he has no relationships. He doesn’t have friendships, he doesn’t have romantic relationships, he is someone trapped in a tower of his own mind and estranged.

We know Ford has always loved Stan very deeply—and yearned for his company just as badly—through his entire adult life. So what, exactly, changed in old Ford for him to invite Stan to sail away together again, post-Weirdmaggedon?

Well. I have some hypotheses.

First, he spent forty years separated from Stan, and then almost lost him forever (or at least their relationship), from a certain point of view. Have you ever heard that saying that you only know the value of something or someone after you lose it? Teen Ford had never lost Stan, and didn’t know how much he would miss him.

On that same note, all those years separated allowed him to develop a personality and identity of his own, and a very defined and strong one at that. (Yes, poor Stan meanwhile spent that time pretending to be Ford. Ironic.) The Stan twins have also managed to be competent at what was once their weak spot, something they relied fully on their brother for. Stan has managed to learn and understand complex physics to fix the portal. Ford, on the other hand (and we’re focusing more on his feelings, here), has definitely learned how to defend himself physically.

Second, Ford was severely “humbled by the narrative,” so to speak. He thought he would get to be the hero, when the hero (at least in Ford’s own point of view, which is the only point of view that matters) was actually his brother. “Stanley Pines was the man who saved the world, not me.” His pride—and Stan’s own pride as a reaction to Ford’s pride, but again, this analysis is focused on Ford—was a great barrier between him and Stan. And on what regards his self-loathing and subsequent thirst for external validation, he has learned to seek love in the right places. His family. Stan.

Stan, who has always loved him unconditionally, who never considered him a freak in the first place, who has always tried to make him feel as if he belonged, if only on an old boat. Stan, who after Weirdmaggedon is now his priority, above his scientific ambition, symbolized by the journals he was no longer reluctant to destroy.

Another excerpt from the interview I’ve referenced lastly wraps things up perfectly:

[...] and it’s always sweet to see [Stan and Ford] come together again, because they’re so full of themselves, but they are also both so damaged they desperately need each other.

The codependency is mutual—people really should understand this. I don’t think it ever really went away, not in an emotional, psychological sense, despite the two of them having developed separately for decades, as I have elaborated here. They didn’t return to the same place they started because they have matured as individual persons, but the love they had for each other never did decrease. They know, now, exactly how it’s like to stay away from each other, and they... actively prefer not to.

After all, like Ford himself said, “I don’t just want someone to come with me, Stanley, I want it to be you.”

[daydreamgoddess14]

The Reading Rooms

Time for the weekly round-up! The response to this last week was INCREDIBLE! I hope the writers listed got some amazing comments and plenty of love because they deserve it!

Always remember to heed the warnings posted by the individual authors. What I'm happy to read may not be what you're happy to read, so I take no responsibility if you find something you're not into.

And finally, Tumblr is a community. Reblog, gush like you've never gushed before - I promise you, the authors below will love it, and love you for it! We write because we love to, but we share our work because we love the community of it. If you read something you like, let the world know! 💕

The List

This week was a busy one! I've been trying to get the next chapter of For Your Consideration finished, and I also posted the first part of a new miniseries - Breakfast.

On reading, I actually read some non-Bucky related stuff this week (shocker!).

Roy Kent / Joaquin Torres / Bob Floyd

This absolute gem Blood, Mud and Everything In Between by @roseandxanderfics featuring Roy Kent and an F!Rugby Player.

Come A Little Closer by @yourauthorjen featuring Joaquin Torres and F!Reader

The magnificent @marvelwitchergilmore killed it with two Joaquin fics I read this week: Where it Hurts and One Night

Sweetness by @cowboybeepboop featuring Bob Floyd x F!Reader (so, so cute, I am becoming a Lewis Pullman girlie)

This cute friends to lovers with Bob x F!Reader by @withahappyrefrain AND also The 5 Times You Flirted with Bob (I LOVE the TGM gang in this one 🥰)

And then, of course, there was SO MUCH BUCKY this week. So much.

Busy Woman by @wbellab (which also has part 2 linked, so be sure to read both!) (F!Reader)

Sneaking Around AND admitting feelings for Bucky by @fanficgirl429 (F!Reader)

Guys.... I have a thing for the suit. I read two fics about the suit. in the suit?! by @delicatebarness and the new uniform by @buckysouvenir (F!Reader, both insanely hot. It's the suit, it's killing me.)

Y'all - have you read declassified by @dreamwritesimagines?? You need to. If Congressman!Bucky gets your vote (yes, yes please) then this is for you because it's PERFECT. Off you pop, go read it now. Three parts so far and I am ITCHING for more. (F!Reader)

We're all into our Tower fics again (🤘2012!) so Interim Measures by @cheekybarnes should be on your list! (F!Reader)

When @mandoalorian starts the notes with "eventual smut and there will be a lot of it" ... well, sign me up. It's the start of if this is war, i surrender (F!Reader)

@sunday-bug has got a glorious Stucky x F!Reader fic Their Little Spitfire

@lessersole has a really great Congressman!Bucky fic which features Matt Murdock (yaay!) Bridging Boroughs (F!Reader)

Everything's Just Perfect by @ama3003 - soooo good, I'm a sucker for an exes fic! (F!Reader)

If we're calling him Sergeant, I'm here for it pals. Hey, Sergeant by @marvelwitchergilmore is sooo good!

I literally read this because I loved that @little-miss-dilf-lover wrote the words "chub on" and I couldn't stop giggling. Nevertheless, Morning Wood was phewww so good!

GIRL DAD BUCKY?! @flowersforbucky, my love, mine all mine was gorgeous 😍

@daxisyzz gave us Light After the Shadows and fluffy, lovely Bucky.

You might recall my excitement about there only being ONE BED!! in this @fanfictiongirlie fic Perfect - which also has a part 2 linked!

Finally, we all need to show Skittle some love over at @mrsbuckybarnes1917 because she finished Plus-One Problems this week - 106k words!! An absolutely bonkers achievement 🙌

I think that was it for this week 😅 I mean, there's probably more. My notes app and my google doc reading lists are not it - I can't keep up! And trying to save stuff in my 'likes' doesn't work either. Also, I wrote this on my laptop this week not my phone. Much less stressful 😂

Happy reading, gang. Enjoy this bloody gorgeous gif I just found. I'll be rewatching it for the foreseeable.

[mutantg1rl]

In the meantime while i write the next chapter……..here’s some Bob headcannons. I think I’ll write some for the other team members as well. These are Sfw/nsfw

Sfw

____________________________________________

-Bob lowkey gives male wife in the best way possible

-This is a common head cannon but I’m very sure he does a lot of the chores at the tower

-Laundry, dishes, mopping: he pretty much builds up to doing all of these chores since he realizes that he’s going to be home a lot from now on, and he felt bad just sitting down for most of the day

-Bob is a very considerate person, maybe even overly considerate. This is because he’s very hyper aware, so he tries not to hurt others and be in their way.

-Bob is very sensitive, and often internalizes people’s words about him, whether they are good or bad. Thanks to Yelena and the company of the team, he thinks more highly of himself now.

-He’s amazing with pets, like amazing.

-I really believe that Bob takes his hygiene very seriously. He always smells really good, part of me thinks he associates bodily cleanliness with mental clarity.

-He’s actually really funny, but in the way where it’s un-intentional and he doesn’t understand why everyone’s laughing at what he said because he doesn’t think he’s funny.

-He’s a little bit awkward in conversation but gets better at it once he starts opening up more at home

-he’s a little bit gullible. He’s slow to trust but is often quick to believe certain things without a second thought

- this usually happens between him and walker, where walker tells him something really dumb and Bob goes “really 🙂?” And Walkers like “No😒”

-He reads. A lot. He really likes children’s books, and adventure books because he finds them the most mentally stimulating and interesting. I think this is a habit he picks up after a while and wasn’t initially a huge reader.

-I think he also mirrors other people’s body language and phrases when he’s comfortable around them and spends a lot of time around them

-Loves himself a good milkshake. I also think he has a big appetite and can pretty much eat anything you put in front of him. He INHALES food like it’s nobodies business. “No one’s eating all that” wrong! Bobs eating allll that.

-Sweet tooth, loves brownies, cake and cookies

-as much time as he spends in the tower, I think he really likes going outside. Grocery store trip? Bob wants to tag along. Simple walk? He’s lacing up his shoes! Window shopping? He’s going to hold your purse.

____________________________________________

NSFW

-Sorry yall, I can’t see him as anything else but a submissive.

-I think when Bob is turning into Sentry, and approaching the headspace of the void, he would definitely give into his major dominant urges. But as regular old Robert Reynolds? Submissive

-I think he’s very long in the nether regions. Even though he’s not thin, he reminds me of those skinny emo boys. They’re ALWAYS packing. He obviously knows he’s packing but he’s very silent about it.

-he gets soooo nervous and it’s so easy to tease him and rile him up.

-I think when you first start easing him back into intimacy he’s a bit anxious at first, so you go at a slow pace just to make him comfortable

-he likes to be vocally coached in bed, and prefers it that way. He thinks there’s less room for error, and he trusts his partner enough to lead him.

-you touch his thigh or rest your hand there? Rub and touch on his body? Kiss his neck? Oh yes, he’s wet asf!

-he breathes heavy and he whimpers but he tries not to be loud. His noises are heavenly, and he’s always trying to hide them because he’s embarrassed. I think when he starts succumbing to vulnerability he gets less self conscious and lets it out.

-his body is very sensitive. I think he shakes after he cums, and his whole body is sort of one big erogenous zones.

-I think this is mostly because the sensations are new. I think his nerves were a bit damaged when he was an addict, and now that the experiment has changed his body chemistry completely and made him the peak of bodily fitness, his nerves are repaired and he feels so much things.

-he hates degradation but is a huge fan of praise. Degradation hurts his feelings

- The following phrases “Good boy”, “That’s my Good boy” , “So pretty”, “So handsome”, will send him into a frenzy and leave him blushing for days

-you can call him a pervert or something along those lines, he isn’t opposed to that.

-he’s so good at giving head

-not a fan of exhibitionism and prefers private intimacy

-loves to get head. Like if you suck him off he doesn’t even want sex anymore he’s satisfied with oral alone

-he has a low sex drive though, I don’t think he wants to go at it all the time, and his partner usually initiates the contact, meaning he rarely initiates sex.

-it also takes him a while to get to this point. Bob believes that strong feelings like intense depression, aggression, and lust are all tied to triggering the void, and you basically have to show him that that’s not necessarily the case

-cums fast because he’s sensitive and thinks his partner his so good looking

-I honestly think that his first time having sex since being resurrected and everything ended with him crying after busting a nut because he didn’t think that he could ever get to this point of enjoying normal activities without feeling afraid or guilty.

- oral fixation??? Oral fixation. Put something in his mouth please, for the love of God.

-Very soft Sub. Like I said earlier, not into the hard stuff, and not really interested in fucking like a rabbit. I think he just likes the devotion and the occasional pleasure because it distracts his mind.

-edit: forgot to add that despite his low sex drive I think Bob is very needy!! A needy little thing that one. I know I said he rarely initiates sex, and that’s true. But when he does? It’s all “mommy please, can you suck me?” “Please I’m so hard right now” “I need it” the kind of thing that makes you melt honestly. Or he’ll offer to make you feel good, just the way you like it. He usually asks that first, but sometimes he can’t help himself.

[everythingisamazing]

Viktor feeling like he is not good enough is the reason I see most often being given for him and Jayce not getting together romantically during their years developing Hextech (that and Jayce being oblivious). I think that's not quite correct. I believe, the true reason is Viktor deciding very early on (probably the first night of their partnership) that he is going to put Jayces happiness above his own desires. Especially because the first interaction he ever had with him, was saving Jayces life. There is enough visible yearning from Viktors side to make me believe he was definitely interested and would have given in if Jayce made the first move (which, as we canonically know Jayce does not make, even when put in clearly romantically charged situations) but I think in his mind, the risk of initiating was simply not worth it. Consider: Viktor knows that Jayce tried to kill himself, because he thought his dream was being destroyed. I am pretty sure that he would be very hesitant to do anything that could compromise said dream, because he knows how strongly it is tied to Jayces well-being (little does he know that he himself is the actual dream hehe) His sensitivity towards Jayce being the reason for keeping his distance, is also way more in character to me, than Viktor being insecure. There is no other character, that pays more attention to Jayces emotional needs in the show than Viktor (prime example in the next paragraph). Also, his whole thing is wanting to save people and easing the suffering of others. And while he might have insecurities, such as public speaking, Viktor is also shown to be sassy and confident in many other interactions. One of the best examples for him being very in tune with Jayces emotions, is the scene, where Jayce basically gets pushed into being a councilor. There is a small moment, where the camera is behind Viktor and you can hear him exhale slowly, as if to regulate his breathing. It reads clearly to me as a thing that someone who is feeling the stress of the person they care about would do. The scene also shows that Viktor is the only person in the room, who is noticing how Jayce is feeling, while everyone else is just talking at him. As time passes I think the reason Viktor holds back also changes. Firstly he probably gets kind of used to it, and secondly, when he realizes he does not have much longer to live, I imagine he doesn't see the point in giving into his feelings anymore. Interpreting Viktors emotional sensitivity as the reason for the unfulfilled romantic potential between him and Jayce, also makes the other interpretation, of Mage Viktor letting Jayce suffer in the ravine on purpose, even more tragic. Because it means that Viktor, who never wanted to hurt Jayce and who would put Jayces happiness above his own, had to create a loop where he would save him as a child, only to torture him as an adult. It means, that no matter how hard he tried to deny himself in consideration of Jayces well-being during their partnership, he would inevitably have to make him suffer FOR him, as the only way to save the world. Damn.

[mirai-e-jump]

TV Life, 5/16/2025 Issue ft. Matsumoto Jin & Hino Yusuke (translations below)

Publication: April 23, 2025

OneLog! Vol.4 (Matsumoto Jin)

-The five of us transforming at the place known as "the holy grounds of tokusatsu" deeply moved me-

Nice to meet you! I'm GozyuEagle and Takehara Kinjiro's Matsumoto Jin. I naturally watched Sentai shows when I was a child, but I also had the impression that they were a gateway to success for aspiring actors, so I was really happy when I was chosen to appear. For my role as Kinjiro, while his appearance is that of a high school student, on the inside, he's actually an 87 year old grandfather, so at first, I felt some pressure as I thought, "Why was I selected for this role?" While playing Kinjiro, I think it's important to create a generation gap with the other Gozyuger members, and to give off the feeling that he doesn't keep up with trends. I'm conscious of the difference in "understanding the vibes of the youth" when performing. While Kinjiro's a "stubborn geezer" by nature, I don't have much of a stubborn side. I myself am the type of person who's quite flexible and tolerable about everything, so I sometimes find it difficult to play the role due to the gap between me and Kinjiro, who's obsessed with a single thing and tends to lose his temper, but I'm working on that through trial and error.

In episode 7, the five of us transformed together for the first time, and the location for the transformation was at the place known as "the holy grounds of tokusatsu." It appeared in the shows I watched when I was younger, so I was deeply moved. It once again made me feel like "I had joined Super Sentai."

I get along really well with all of my costars. We talk all the time in the dressing room and go out for meals together in our private time. Everyone also laughed really hard during costume fitting for the scene in episode 6 where we played house. All of us being together for that made things feel abit chaotic, but once the real performance started, everyone's switches flipped and we were able to film properly! (laughs). Going forward, there'll be episodes focusing on each character, so it'd make me happy if you look forward to it!

Q: In relation to Number One Sentai, what are you most into these days?

A: Muscle training! Mio-kun invited me to the gym, where I initially refused, but then I started going. Recently, my costumes have been getting tighter, so that's not good (laughs). I eat so much, that I'll have two bentos in the morning, so the secret to my health is muscle training and eating alot!

Number One Shot!!: Thank you for your continued support of Gozyuger! A different Number One is decided on each episode, and I'm always excited about it until I receive the script. The Number One showdowns bring out the personalities of each of the five, so please pay attention to what approach they take! _

GavvPare! Vol.17 (Hino Yusuke)

-I reviewed that masterpiece before we filmed episode 31-

Right into the new chapter, Hanto begins searching for Shouma's relatives. Out of consideration for Shouma's feelings of, "I'm scared right now," I think it would've been kinder of him to stop there and say, "Alright, I'd better not then." However, he didn't stop there, and decided to act with the thought of, "Maybe his feelings will change in the future, and there'll come a moment when Shouma can be saved," and I think this was mainly due to the battle with Kamen Rider Bake and the fact that he was able to communicate his true feelings to Shouma. It'd make me happy if the viewers feel that "Hanto's grown up" through all these experiences. On the other hand, things are still as tense as ever between him and Lakia…

Although Shouma and Sachika are the connection between the two, the situation continues with Lakia, who doesn't take too kindly to Hanto, and Hanto, who opposes him. While these two are incompatible, they get caught up in quite a few mishaps after getting stuck together by the mantis mucus (laughs). There's also alot of good paced dialogue, and I was told by Director Kamihoriuchi that "episode 31 was inspired by Home Alone," so before filming, I reviewed Home Alone, where I incorporated comedic elements and adjusted my level of anger as I performed. In contrast to what you've seen during the show, Kohei-kun and I are very close. We get along so well, that I think we would've become good friends even if we had met at school or at a part time job instead of through acting. Including Hide, we'll often go out to eat together, but if I were to compare the relationship between the three of us to a family, Kohei-kun's the oldest son, I'm the second oldest, and Hide's the youngest, so we've got a good balance like that. I truly love them, and they're irreplaceable to me.

Episode 32 will also feature a scene where Lakia and Hanto talk about each other's pasts. The question is, of course, whether the two of them will understand each other after hearing each other's stories, but there's also a scene where Lakia and Hanto leave together while putting on their jackets, which turned out really cool, so look forward to seeing where that appears!

Q: When you hear "Spring," What comes to mind?

A: It'd be hay fever…In my case, it's pretty severe, so I have to drink medicine and use eye drops on a regular basis, and before filming, I'll spray on a pollen repellent so that it won't interfere with my performance. It's painful not only on sunny, warm days, but also the day after a rainy day, so I suffer from pollen all throughout Spring.

Off Shot: The scene in which the two of them get into an unfortunate situation was created with the cooperation of everyone, including Director Kamihoriuchi! It's usually Hanto who goes through a terrible experience, but on this day, the one who had to take a shower after filming was Ko~hei~kun! (laughs).

[talenlee]

What Does Your Moderation Do?

This is going to be a little bit of a story about an experience I’ve had on Reddit that I’ve been percolating about for a while. It’s about Custom Magic cards, but it’s not going to show any of them. It’s about moderator behaviour but I’m not presenting this to make a case against someone. However, it is also undeniably about an internet community space, and how I feel about it, and that means it might come with the feeling of me being mad about not posting somewhere.

This is not about that and I don’t want it to be.

I am not tits, nobody cares that I’m out.

If you’re familiar with my online activity, one thing you might know I do is I used to post a new custom magic card every day. I’ve done this across platforms like Twitter, Cohost, Mastodon, and with the most enduring of all of these being Reddit. I was, at the point I stopped, posting daily cards to Reddit for five years, so 1,825 cards.

More, actually, some were paired partner cards.

I don’t post my cards anywhere any more. I might not make any more at this point, because I don’t feel there’s an audience for them. Making them for my own benefit was fun, but I wanted to make and share them as a social experience, as part of a community, and I didn’t, it seems, actually have that.

I have stopped posting on the custom magic subreddit. Whether or not I posted there became a question of what the subreddit was offering me versus what it was asking of me. I wanted to show people cards and get into conversations about what they were for or how they represented the game, to check for wording mistakes and see if the flavour came through, and wanted to comply with the moderator policy to post there.

The responses I’ve had, historically, haven’t been good. Feedback typically fell into three basic camps; no feedback at all, bad feedback, and good feedback. Good feedback includes things like meaningful corrections of game text, and useful considerations of flavour or wording problems. Bad feedback is things like ‘I would design a different card,’ or, more commonly, people misreading or failing to read a card, then getting very mad at what they imagined the card was. I have had whole weekends of time where my reddit was basically useless because I was getting comments from people who felt I was being condescending or rude to them by explaining to them that the problem they imagined a card had didn’t exist.

In order to be a ‘good poster,’ I tried to find people’s cards that I could help, offered useful clear advice when I could, and asked about what people were aiming to do to help them with their cards. I was trying to lead by example. I tried to bow out of conversations I didn’t want to have and did what I could to discourage unhelpful responses to my posts. It didn’t really work and seemingly got me a reputation of being a scold and an asshole.

The community claimed to want things, like more people designing coherent sets. More commons. More cards that were interesting with a place, and more lore. None of these things, it seemed, are true, at least, in the ways I tried them. There is after all, always the possibility that I’m just bad at doing the things the subreddit said it wanted. It certainly wasn’t a place to discuss mechanics, that’s for sure; I can think of a cavalcade of conversations about mechanics where someone wildly misunderstands the rules, and then makes it my fault that they’re trying to comment authoritively on something they nakedly don’t understand.

The other part of it, trying to comply to moderation, was the reason I wound up giving up on the space. Moderation is the service you offer people who want to use your social space: You are representing that you will take measures to encourage behaviour you want and discourage behaviour you don’t want. The behaviour that the subreddit wants is one of scrupulous and correct artist citation on the card itself, and eventually, this was the problem that I couldn’t deliver on. Not because I don’t agree: I do think that the artist credit should be present. Undeniably, there were mistakes; the most notable one of late is that a fond didn’t render text clearly, such as missing glyphs for Cyrillic names or special characters I didn’t recognise as being different because I was looking for the URLs and copying the artists’ own names on their Artstation sites.

Eventually, a moderator contacted me to let me know that my violations had grown so common that the next one would yield a year-long ban from the subreddit. See, the card that was being cited was low-resolution enough that the artist credit might be ambiguous and require more effort to search up, which got to go on the same heap as ‘Grace Liu is too ambiguous,’ despite it being the artist’s name she used to sign her own work.

The tool I use, Magic Set Editor, deliberately only releases moderate-sized templates that aren’t print quality. This was because the original program wanted to avoid a takedown from Wizards of the Coast for encouraging/enabling piracy, and the program is itself, a standard program Wizards of the Coast use themselves for internal proxies these days. But time has moved on and other, much higher resolution tools I’m unfamiliar with have taken to the stage, and the subreddit, I am led to understand, posts in this higher resolution now.

This presented me with three new problems: Make sure that every single thing I ever did was vetted by the mods ahead of time, accept that alt text was unacceptable on Reddit (which, to be fair, Reddit does not natively support alt text), learn a new program to translate my entire set into, and do so because the principles of avoiding printability was a thing that the subreddit didn’t respect. Things I did like — alt text, set design, lore, a type of conversation around what cards are for and what they express — weren’t there in the space.

I don’t consider the moderator’s concerns unreasonable, by the way. Rather, I had to regard whether the moderation rules created a community that offered me what I wanted. Was this community good at providing what I wanted? Did their policies work?

Last I checked, the custom magic subreddit was full AI slop art, political jokes, beginner errors, and the same people posting authoritively incorrect things about the game rules or card balance interspersed with meme designs, overpowered personal commander cards, and people who proudly did not play the game trying to design cards for it. Through the whole time there I can think of one actual poster who made work I consistently wanted to see. My most popular cards ever shared there have ridiculous comment sections full of people in some cases nakedly insulting me because they don’t understand how the rules work. I had a thousand comments on something once because I suggested that in casual games of commander, you should talk to your friends, and that resulted in people angrily and energetically explaining to me all sorts of things I didn’t say.

Whatever the moderation is meant to do in that place, it has not yielded anything I want. It did not make the place more fun for me. The Moderation is the service offered by the space: here are our rules, you can rely on these rules, and you can rely on them to make the space what we want it to be. The internet is a place full of junk and slop and when you make a space for people to put things, getting rid of the junk and the slop is a way you can make that space more attractive to them.

Policies are there for a purpose, to make a place comfortable for the people you want there and to discourage the people you don’t want there.

And I don’t think that place wants me.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[shadessallow]

Why I think Kenlynn is crucial to the development of the series (aka my excuse to yap and show you guys my art, who cheered)

There is something that's very obvious when watching the show but I hardly ever see it being brought up and that is how little consideration of the consequences of her own actions Brooklynn has. And that is something that hasn't changed yet.

Don't get me wrong I absolutely love Brooklynn, but it's pretty obvious that she is not entirely aware of how her actions affect those around her.

The examples are countless, from Yasammy breakup to the remaining people in Nublar 6 getting killed multiple times (not even mentioning the emotional trauma that she put them through by faking her own death)

And while some decisions she had made are more or less explainable by the fact that she wanted to protect her friends, the cause of most of them are without a doubt the decisions that Brooklynn had made in the first place.

And her lack of consideration roots back to her relationship with Kenji. Or more specifically to their breakup.

It is no surprise to anyone that the breakup was Brooklynn's fault- neglecting her boyfriend for the sake of her own secret investigation. But the most important scene to understand how little consideration Brooklynn had for her own actions is the scene where she talks with Darius about their breakup.

She is blaming Kenji for the breakup, for not understanding her, because she was "only working". She doesn't fully realise how her own actions destroyed their relationship, as she blames Kenji for not understanding her.

And as much as I love Brooklynn as a character, there is no doubt that she is not the best person in the show. She is unaware of the harm she causes, while chasing something that she isn't even sure what it is.

It's also important to note that (as biased as it might seem) Dinostar is not working right now (!!!). Darius seems to be much more in love with his own imagination of Brooklynn, an adventurous, brave woman, rather than noticing the truth, how much harm is Brooklynn causing, while not even being aware of it.

Now. Why do I think that Kenji and Brooklynn are crucial to the development of the series? Because Kenji is the one who got hurt by Brooklynn in the most visible way.

He is aware that what she's doing is not right.

Contrary to Darius, he sees her whole, he knows who she is and that's why he breaks up with her.

It had been visible even back in Camp Cretaceous that her desire to chase the different cases she thinks of (which she is convinced are for the better, to protect her friends) has been an issue in her and Kenji's relationship (ofc in the 'first date' scene when she stood him up). We didn't get a solution to that issue back then, because of the Kenji plotline that happened right after, but it's always been an issue.

And her death affects him in a very deep way, as he becomes passively suicidal throughout the whole series (his father's death also has some cause in it, but the two are combined)

He is the one who suffers from Brooklynn's actions, even if he chose to isolate himself from her by the breakup, in an attempt to not get hurt.

Personally I think that for any development in the series, first it should be established that Brooklynn will have a change of character, some development. And as I said, I think her and Kenji's relationship, whether they get back together or not, is the best way to tackle the topic, to actually make her notice that she NEEDS to change to stop hurting the people around her.

Again, I do not think that Brooklynn is all bad, I just think that she makes bad decisions that lead to dangerous situations, and then she makes more bad decisions to protect her friends from said situations, without noticing that she is the one to cause the situations in the first place. That's what is so tragic about her.

Personally I'm also a bit salty about her and Kenji not fully working things out during the end of CC (all it took for her to trust Kenji again after he betrayed her was one apology more than he gave to Yaz and Sammy, which was really disappointing, because I personally was hoping for Brooklynn to have more emotions about the situation), so I am hoping that in Chaos Theory we finally have a serious conversation between those two that actually leads to anything.

So my prediction for the next season/s is that we will get the Nublar Six gradually realise that maybe what Brooklynn is doing isn't entirely good and that maybe at some point she should be stopped (she just took down the Broker, but she is not finished, finding a different thing to chase). How little consideration for their feelings she has, blinded by her own desire to get the job done, even if the job seems to be neverending. Since Sammy and Kenji already realised that, I think that Yaz and Ben might be next. Which leaves a great opportunity for Brooklynn and Darius to talk about it, cuz I firmly believe Brooklynn will notice that before Darius does.

But again, I think that for her to notice that, there will have to be an interaction with Kenji (possibly her noticing how her death actually affected him, something that Yaz had pointed out multiple times before, because the plotline of his passive suicidal attempts have not been yet resolved???)

Anyway, this was my silly rant + my excuse to show off some art!

Remember that it's fully subjective and biased (because I want Kenlynn to get back together, shocking I know).

Also the lyrics on the billboard are from Mitski- "Your Best American Girl":33

[thequietkid-moonie]

can you do poly relationship with ddlc girls x reader?

Poly relasionship headcanons

[ Monika, Sayori, Yuri & Natsuki ]

[ Doki Doki Literature Club ]

This was interesting to write, i have never wrote a poly relasionship with so much people!

The friendship between all of them has been build with time and care after joining the literature club, there has been some problems here and there but nothing that couldn't be solved with talking, the dynamic has been slowly grow to a comforting and peaceful relasionship and, at the end, the love that grow to feel every single one of them for the other felt just as comforting as the friendship

Of course, it was something everyone sit down to talk about and took in consideration, and since you were also the object of their affection you have been taken in consideration in every moment, and despite being everyone willing and happy to be in a relasionship together it took quite a while to get used to be in a relasionship, after all the relasionship have become more intimate, so for the sake of everyone things were happening slowly

Most of the time is either Monika or Sayori the glue for all of them, not that the relasionship couldn't fuction without them but they were the ones who were more interested in having dates in group and making the plans, of course Yuri and Natsuki did have some ideas to where they would like to go in a date but they were a bit more hesitant and flustered at first about the topic

Dates in group where just as common as going in dates and hanging out in pairs, everyone make sure to let the other known that no one was being left behind, that no one was more loved than the others, but since everyone struggle a bit with relating with others (and Yuri and Natsuki are slighly more introvert and reserved) it was for their own comfort to not always being the five together, and to prevent any problem everyone was always notifing the other if just two or even three were hanging out and what they were doing

There are always geatures of love between everyone, small and meaningful gifts, thoughtful recomendation and advices, physicaly affection is not the strenght of anyone aside from Sayori but words love and acts of service never lack between all of them!

Whenever there was a problem everyone made sure to comunicate it, if it was inside of the relasionship it would be a bit of hesitation but at the end everyone sit down to talk it in a peaceful enviroment, after all, all have been the comfort zone of each other for a while now, it was better to take time to sit down and talk to make sure there were no misundertandings and to help each to express themselfs in the best way posible

If any of them were having a problem outside of the relasionship everyone were always there to show support and do everything they could to help, for example Yuri and Sayori are better to comfort with words while Monika and Natsuki are better to do something to help solve the problems

It grew to be something normal that most of the time all of you spend together is more quality time, despite being a relasionship of 5 is quite peaceful and lay back, the love is more discreet but not less meaningful nor less sincere, and more than one any of them have open up in the most peaceful time about how happy the relasionship makes everyone feel, and how the feeling is mutual

[tanddiscord]

I do find it philosophically intereting to do said litigation myself, but the real problems arrive at the potencial for harm. Almost all actions carry some risk of harming others, going for 0% chance of any harm is completly impossible, so it then becomes a game of, at what risk of what harm, does that risk, the 'not hurting anyone' start becoming more ethically important than the freedom of the action 'everything is okay'? As a silly example, playing loud music at 4 am interupts other people's sleep. Many people are asleep at 4am, and the music is likely to wake them or lower their sleep quality. Losing sleep has clear health and socioeconomic risk assosiated with it. You can also argue the significant annoyance it cuases is an emotional harm. Many people agree this should not be allowed in densly populated areas. But what about the same music, in the middle of the day? Fewer people are sleeping, so that risk is lowered... but some might be alseep. Some might be working from home, and the music is a distraction. Some might still be annoyed. Does any of this constitute harm? What about if we decide, collectivly, that only interupting sleep counts as harm (i would not, for the record, agree)? If you know someone is sleeping you natureally can't do it, then, ethiclly... But what if you're uncertain? What odds should it be given? how should those odds be weighted? And conversely, if they're not allowed to play music when someone sleeps... is sleeping when they're suppose to play, harming them? if they have a potencial career in music, and need the practice, is obsturcting that practice harm? what level of recursive fuckery do we put stuff at? Its a never ending fractal mess of stupider and stupider, but still valid considerations. And it's not even like its completely irrelevant! There's also degrees, and levels of reasonableness. FRX discomfort is harm, that is pretty clear, at least at extreme levels, like playing loud disidant music on the bus is not a kind, moral thing to do, evne if it is not quite loud enough to cause hearing damage... But at the same time, it would be unreasonable to disalow public displays of affection, just because they make some people discomfort. On the other hand, it's not reasonable to allow full on sex on the bus even if its not going to cause any physical harm to anyone, because that would be very uncomfortable for ther other passangers... But where does the line go? A deeply fascinating topic.

I do enjoy how taking a milquetoast "everything is okay as long as it's not hurting anyone!" axiom as your ethical starting point inevitably leads to litigating the definition of harm like we're a bunch of Three Laws compliant robots. Like, it's absolutely not productive, but it appeals to me aesthetically.

[kotegiris]

[Palace Memories] Main Story Episode 2 Side Story

side stories

Blame Yourself

※Warning: There are spoilers for the main story Episode 2.

It is recommended to read up to Episode 2, Part 3: Family, Chapter 10 before reading this.

If you’d like to avoid spoilers, please return using the upper left button.

………

Whoosh……Thud…!

Flure: Sigh…… It’s a bit too far to the right… I misread the wind…

Flure: When I’m fighting actual angels… I have to take the angels’ speed into account too. It’ll be even harder to hit them.

Flure: I can’t just aim for the target… I have to fire my arrows while thinking about my environment and surroundings.

Miyaji: Flure-kun, let’s take a break soon. It’s hot, and it wouldn’t do for you to get heatstroke.

Miyaji: Here, use this towel to wipe your sweat. And don’t forget to stay hydrated.

Flure: Thank you, Miyaji-sensei.

Miyaji: Fufu… Being engrossed in training and giving it your all is a very splendid thing. I’m also rooting for you.

Flure: Fufu, thank you. I’ll do my best to improve my accuracy.

Miyaji: I’m happy to hear you say that, but there’s no need for you to push yourself too hard.

Miyaji: Your archery skills are already excellent. There’s no need to rush mastering your skills.

Flure: Miyaji-sensei…

Flure: But I…… I want to get better quickly.

Flure: Since I started using a bow…… I’ve found a way of fighting that suits me. I know that I’ve become stronger than I was before.

Flure: But…… That’s exactly why I want to get better. If only I had started training with a bow sooner, if only I were stronger……

Flure: Then, the Grim Reaper Case…… Might not have ended with the angels stealing Zepar’s body……

Flure: I…… If only I had been more serious about fighting……

Miyaji: There’s no need to blame yourself……

Miyaji: It’s true that now you’ve become stronger. That strength…… will surely save our comrades from now on.

Miyaji: And…… it’ll definitely be helpful for getting his stolen body back.

Miyaji: I’m counting on you, Flure-kun. Let’s get Zepar-kun back together.

Flure: Yes…… You’re right. We’ll definitely take him back.

Step… step… step…

Lato: Kufufu…… Flure, are you in the middle of archery training?

Flure: WOAH! L-Lato… Where did you come from…?

Lato: I was just starting to get bored. Won’t you do a mock battle together with me in the forest?

Flure: Huh? A mock battle all of a sudden… …Wait, what? You’re inviting me for a mock battle……?

Lato: I’ll start from a place far away… If I get near you, it’s your loss.

Lato: Please try to shoot me down. Kufufu…… Now then, shall we begin?

Flure: Wha—I said wait…! …Geez……There’s no way I can shoot you!

Miyaji: (Fufu… He’s completely returned to normal.)

Miyaji: (Lato’s being considerate of him in his own way…… Thank you, Lato-kun.)

END

[grantmentis]

A couple thoughts on the draft declarations mostly from an international hockey perspective but not exclusively:

-this is a very North American draft, def not many Sdhl players few pfwl players

-Mathea Fischer, Sara Hjalmarsson, gabby jones, Darcie lappen, Michelle Karvinen, marah Wagner, Lillian Perrault, Josephine asperup, Maddie posick, Alexandra Weiss, ena Nystrøm, emma Bergesen, Kate Stuart, and Erica fryer are all last season Sdhl players

-of those I think Fischer, Hjalmarsson, Karvinen, Bergesen, Nystrøm I think have a realistic chance of being selected or being camp invites. I could see Perrault and lappen being training camp invites.

-surprised at no Emma seitz but I’ve heard it’s maybe bc they changed the rules around the draft eligibility if you were a reserve in the 2025 season? But who knows they never give the eligibility rules straight up

-a couple players who signed in the sdhl as well like Sarah Marchand, ena nystrøm, Emma Bergesen, and aly mcleod, so they have opt out clauses and it’s cool to see sdhl teams work with them on that.

-really cool to see Rachel llanes back in here. She hasn’t played in a hot second but she played with Hannah miller and Susanna tapani and Alex carpenter on KRS and of course had cwhl / nwhl experience. Shes 34 which will scare teams away but I think she could be a good depth presence in an expansion team especially since she’s done that before

-ALLIE THUNSTROM MY QUEEN NO NEUTRAL THOUGHTS IM GOJNG HARD CAMPAIGNING FOR HER

-Fanuza Kadirova, Anna shokhina as two players from Russia’s league. Poniatovskaia also Russian but played at Yale last year. Shokhina was one of russia’s best players on the international stage when they were still in competitions, and I think it’s a good chance she gets selected. I am curious how political situations around visas effects where she might get taken. If a team is confident with her and gives her a SPA before training camp instead of being a try out like Markova (and i Think as a player she has a better chance of getting that advanced contract talent wise) may help her case

-Halušková is a player I would have never considered for the draft as much as I like her this time last year, but she took a major step forward this year and was Slovakia’s best forward at the Olympic qualifiers and women’s worlds on a roster that had hlinkova, tothova, and lopusanova. Still don’t know if she’d make my draft cut but she raised her stock significantly

-Elizabeth lang is an interesting one, she dominated the SWHL scoring wise but idk if she would translate as a depth player in the PWHL and I don’t think she’d crack top six on a roster but I’d love to be proven wrong bc I Like her

-Maddie leidt declared and while I enjoy watching her I just don’t think she did enough at the world championships to be a consideration

- interesting to me that Kayla tutino declared during the lead up to the Olympics but I can’t see her being drafted. Same with Kristen Guerrero tho she has a better chance

-Millie rose sirum is another player who raised her draft stock a lot for me during worlds. Maybe this will be the year of the Norwegian draft picks

-first Chinese born player to declare I believe in rui zhu unless I’m forgetting someone, she’s been a depth player for team China and plays for KRS

[unlikeable-female-character]

Gabby and Laura and Logan (and Wade) (he barged his way in I couldn’t stop him)

I have no real clue where I am going with this but I’m enjoying writing it -

Logan and the girls settled in and for the first few weeks you saw them regularly in the street, always a cheerful hello from you to them and back again. The girls started school and your leaving for work would sometimes coincide with them reluctantly dragging themselves into their father’s truck to be dropped off.

‘Not fans of school, huh?’ You called across one morning.

The weary look Logan gave you indicated that no, no they were not fans of school, backed up by Gabby’s shout of

‘Because it’s boooooring’ then pulling a face that indicated that yes actually she would rather be dead than have to sit through algebra thank you very much.

Of the two, Gabby was the more lively, often skipping across the road to say a bright ‘hi!!’ if she was in the yard and saw you. Laura, though always polite when you spoke to her, held back. She was watchful, constantly alert for something that you couldn’t quite determine. You assumed she was just protective of her sister, filling the gap left by the loss of their mother. You found yourself feeling for this quiet, guarded young girl. You hoped she was okay. She clearly loved and was loved by her father and sister but still you worried.

Speaking of their father, despite Angela’s sneers that he was raising two feral animals, Logan appeared, to your eyes at least, to be handling single parenthood with a brisk efficiency. The girls clearly adored him, and he them, despite frequent battles of wills between them all. But they were all navigating a loss, both together and separately, no one would be able to remain all rainbows and sunshine all the time.

After the first night you often saw Logan standing outside the front door, cigar in hand, just enjoying the peace that lasted for as long as it took him to smoke it. You never felt it was your place to intrude, to interrupt this moment but you knew that he was aware of you. A nod of the head, a raised hand if he saw you at the window, if you were outside at the time another brief ‘good night’ might be uttered. A moment of connection across that twilight street that was yours and his alone.

Your mind often wandered back to that…feeling you felt the first day you met. When he laughed and you felt something inside you melt. Logan was handsome, no one could deny that, and he was well built, kind and considerate as well, a quiet intelligent man who cared deeply for his daughters. Discovering you like to read he’d invited you in one afternoon to see if there was anything of his you’d like to borrow, and your heart had skipped a little to see the wall of bookshelves in the lounge stuffed full of books, some orderly, others just pushed in where there was space. You’d thanked him and told yourself that any attraction you felt was merely because of his library. And absolutely nothing else you repeatedly told yourself.

One afternoon, later than usual, you pulled into your drive, tired from another long day. Eyes sore from staring at a computer screen for hours while your boss had a meltdown over something that he should have dealt with days ago but forgot about then blamed everyone else for. You turned off the engine and just sat in your car, eyes closed, to enjoy the quiet for one second.

Tap tap. Taptaptaptap. Your eyes jerked open and you jumped to see a man stooped next to the car, tap tap tapping on the window. He smiled when he saw you look at him and in a very forward moment opened the car door and held out his hand. You were too shocked to do anything but take it and step out of the car

‘H…hello?’ You stammered.

‘Hi!’ The man beamed. His face was scarred, all of it, from the top of his bald head, down his neck and under his shirt. His…pink unicorn shirt….? Also his hands, similarly scarred. For a man who had clearly gone through a massive amount of trauma at some point in his life he was surprisingly chipper.

‘Wade Wilson,’ he smiled, shaking your hand. You hadn’t realised he was still holding it.

‘What…can I help you with anything Mr Wilson?’ You asked

‘Oh god Wade please,’ he chided, ‘we’re basically neighbours’

Your eyebrows shot up

‘We are??’

‘Well I mean technically no but you do live across the street from my bestie and I am going to be visiting as much as I can because this place is ADORABLE. I do miss my Peanut and his little Peanuts,’ he stared across at Logan’s house.

You’d followed his gaze. A rather beaten up Honda Odyssey was parked at a very skewed angle across the drive way and a small, very odd looking dog was snuffling around on the front lawn, occasionally peeing on anything that it found interesting.

That interest was intensified when Logan’s truck pulled up, only just stopping in time so as not ram into the back of Wade’s car. The girls jumped from the truck and ran to the dog, Laura scooping it up in her arms and both she and Gabby showering the odd creature with hugs and kisses.

‘Uncle WAAAAAAADE!!!’ Gabby shrieked as she spotted him and bolted across the street, launching herself onto the man and hugging him so tightly you could swear you heard his bones crack

‘Well hello my little honey badger,’ he smiled, squeezing her back.

Laura followed, the dog still in her arms and gave Wade a more restrained but no less meaningful hug. Logan, you noticed, had not as yet joined the welcome.

You watched him get slowly out of the truck and glare over at the love fest for this strange man and his dog, a look of resignation on his face. He slammed the door with rather more force than necessary and stalked over. He stopped and briefly fluffed the little hair the dog had.

‘Girls, take Mary and go inside,’ his tone brooked no disagreement and they immediately complied.

You found yourself standing awkwardly between the two men, one grinning from ear to ear, one looking like he was ready to wipe not just the smile off his face but his head from his body.

‘What the fuck are you doing here?’ Logan growled.

Oh.

Yes he had actually growled.

‘Just wanted to come and see you, Peanut,’ Wade said brightly.

‘You should have called first,’ Logan muttered, ‘you’re not staying to dinner’ and turned on his heel to head into the house.

You watched him go, mouth open a little.

‘Yes I know,’ Wade said, ‘it’s sight to behold isn’t it?’

‘What is?’

Wade nodded to where Logan had slammed the door shut.

‘Canada’s ass,’ he sighed.

Before you knew what was happening you had been swept into a hug.

‘SO good to meet you finally. Logie Bear has told me so much about you,’ you rocked back as Wade planted you back on the ground, and he sprinted across the street. You watched as he tried to open the door only to discover Logan had locked it. As Wade started hammering on the door and yelling to be let in you thought it best to leave them to their…wherever the hell it was.

It wasn’t until later that Wade’s words came back to you

‘Logie Bear has told me so much about you’

First you wondered if Wade ever called Logan that to his face and how well that went. Second…Logan had been talking about you? To the point where his very odd friend decided he want to meet you? Wade didn’t say that Logan had been talking to him about the new house or the girls’ new school or even the neighbourhood. You. Just you. As you sat at the kitchen table a plate of spaghetti slowing congealing on the table in front of you, you weren’t sure what to make of it all.

It was clear that this Wade guy was a family friend, the girls certainly seemed to adore him. Logan’s attitude was…semi murderous if you were honest. He definitely growled didn’t he? That was a growl. But however much Logan apparently wanted to kill him Wade seemed entirely unbothered by this, to the point of obliviousness.

Your reverie was broken by a knock at the door. You were surprised to see Logan standing on the other side of it.

‘Hi,’ you said, ‘everything okay?’

‘Yeah everything’s fine,’ he said quietly, ‘just wanted to apologise for earlier. Wade…Wade is a lot and I didn’t know he was coming over so I couldn’t warn you. He shouldn't have bothered you like he did.’

‘Oh. Well you didn’t need to do that’

‘Fairs fair,’ he said, ‘you warned me about that old bit…Mrs Morton,’ he corrected himself.

You smiled at him

‘Honestly I’d rather deal with five Wades than one Angela Morton’

Logan went a little pale and wide eyed. Clearly the thought of five Wades was too much for him to bear.

‘I mean he seems nice,’ you shrugged, ‘quite exuberant’

Logan nodded slowly

‘Yes he is definitely that…’

Your curiosity was getting the better of you. Should you ask Logan about him talking to Wade about you? How do you even ask that question - oh hey so I heard you’ve been talking about me all good I hope hahahahaha also why have you been talking about me so much. No. No you couldn’t say that.

‘So how do you guys know each other?’ You asked instead

Logan took a long time to reply. Too long if you were honest.

‘We worked together. Long time ago’

‘Oh. Well the girls obviously think he’s pretty great,’ you said smiling.

‘Yeah well…kids don’t know any better. I’ll see you, sorry again’

And with that he abruptly turned and headed off back to his house. Well now you were even more confused. And even more curious. Before you really knew whet you were doing you called after him

‘Logan!’

He stopped and turned

‘What?’ He didn’t look pleased but, well, screw your courage to the sticking point and all that

‘Um well it was just Wade said you’d talked to him about me?’

Logan stared at you for longer then felt comfortable

‘Fuckin’ shit stirring…’ you heard him mutter though you weren’t sure you were supposed to, ‘it was nothing'

'Long way for someone to come for nothing,' you pushed

Logan looked at you then away again.

'Just...don't pay attention to him, he talks a lot of crap and loves drama. I told him about everyone here so,' he waved his hand indicating the whole street, 'it was nothing special'

And with that he turned again and was back inside before you had a chance to ask anything else. His front door slammed and that was the end of the discussion.

As you lay in bed later that night you couldn't stop thinking about his words. Nothing special. Story of your life.

[interstellar-elf]

I've heard of the "were-worms" of Gobi possibly being one of the earliest reference to the cryptid known as the Mongolian Death Worm and in a fantasy book (Tolkien probably read Roy Chapman's book on the expedition to Mongolia to recover dinosaur fossils, where it was first described).

Also, yeah... Forget Tom Bombadil, where the hell did Beorn come from?!

And matches in Middle Earth seem kind of funny to me, but in consideration that Dwarves don't really care for them, it kind of makes sense, given that Dwarves probably prefer flint and steel over anything made with wood.

Gollum having pockets gave me the image of Gollum wearing cargo pants

highlights from Hobbit-Era Worldbuilding:

according to tolkiengateway these were-worms are never again mentioned (occupying a similar mythological space as mermaids and turtle-fish and dumbledors/hummerhorns), and the Last Desert is in fact the Gobi Desert

dragons established a breeding population sometime between the end of the War of Wrath and the beginning of the Hobbit

dragons have an innate sense of the market value of precious metals

one troll has a talking purse, which is also never again mentioned

The entirety of the moon-letters?? and also the riddle-game

lol bilbo

gollum has pockets, apparently

okay so at this point in the lore chances are this is either irrelevant or metaphorical. but imagine if gollum survived 500 yrs with the ring because he randomly has a fire-fea, like some weird ancient hobbit equivalent of feanor

gandalf's "also naughty little boys that play with fire get punished" sounds very much like it was tacked on there as part of the bedtime story edition lol.

the Eagles regularly random shepherds' flocks

matches exist and are commonly in use, except for by dwarves

eagle pleasantries

the Lord of the Eagles might not be gwaihir on account of the lack of a crown in gwaihir's later descriptions

forget bombadil, where did beorn come from. he's probably related to the tompolle dancing bears of numenor, but where did *those* bears come from. and who are these ancient giants (the thunder-battlers?)

beorn's weird dogs

how many dancing-bear skin-changers are there in rhovanion?? or is beorn just hosting dance parties with regular bears

The sleep river and eyes and white deer are probably the mirkwood equivalent of the nan dungortheb too-many-ainur-in-one-place weirdness

Thingol mention!

also "his people neither mined nor worked metals or jewels, nor did they bother much with trade or with tilling the earth." what was doriath even doing

dragons do the dolphin sleep thing

...so this bit of dragon etiquette is definitely turin's fault

and come to think of it, the wearing-hoards-as-armor is definitely from azaghal stabbing glaurung

bilbo has coined a lot of proverbs

hey that was gandalf's original name. it's a noldorin/gnomish name now and not attributed to a numenorean, so was bladorthin like. gil galads successor or something.

i had forgotten how much this sounds like the Oath

lol

the Iron Hills dwarves have some sort of superfine maille?

sorry thorin, that's what you get for calling him a rat

imagine the Wars of Beleriand with added bilbo commentary