#am i insane or is this kinda blaine too??

[deldeldel90]

this post . thinking of so much CPC characters rn

[wholesomecryptidart]

You can give me thoughts or headcanons about Grimsley's design/appearance 🤲 pls ♥️... Or idk if you have any, but songs that remind you of him... I love making every song about the characters

OH BOY YOU OPENED THE FLOOD GATES- hi yes i am full of Grimsley thoughts so much-

Starting off with some headcannons about his design/appearance

-i am not immune to Grimsley with fangs its too fun to draw. my thoughts is that he has a genetic quirk that makes his canines slightly larger than the average person, this is the reason you'll occasionally see me draw characters i headcannon as related to Grimsley such as Giacomo or my fankid Bug with the fangs as well as they have this same genetic trait. The fangs may make him look like a vampire but he isn't actually one, although he likes to tell children he's secretly one.

-another little genetic trait i imagine for Grimsley is that he naturally has a fair bit of body hair (a detail i decided on when designing my oc Garry who is his twin brother. Grimsley is fairly insecure about this fact about himself though and is fairly persistent about shaving.

-painted nails and makeup, he absolutely deserves to serve whenever he can, i also like to draw him with earrings on top of that. Grimsley grew up in a rich family and likes to look the part even if his financial situation is a lot less stable these days due to his gambling.

-Grimsley is fairly tall, my personal height headcanon for him being around 6ft tall.

-constant dark circles under his eyes, he's a constant night owl staying up late either spending time at casinos or training his pokemon. my man desperately needs full nights sleep but he says the dark circles "add to his aesthetic.

-he feels most comfortable dressing in formal wear his wardrobe mostly consisting of gothic suits and vests and the like, (that man needs to dress like a vampire 24/7), although he does own a couple dresses because i will die on my bigender Grimsley hill. he has some dialogue on masters about how he primarily wears tight fitting clothing and that his kimono outfit is a change of pace for him so add that to the pile too.

as for songs... i have full playlist for songs that remind me of him.

the playlist is fully in chronological order because i'm kinda insane about him.

a handful of songs are related to OC stuff (Childish War being about his relationship with my oc Garry mentioned earlier and a couple of the songs being connected to my boyfriend @plushegutzz's OC Blaine who they ship with him and i do some cowriting for) but overall i'd say it's a really good playlist for my version of Grimsley and his lore.

apologies if you weren't expecting a full essay in response to this ask, but i have SO MANY Grimsley headcanons and this isn't even the tip of the iceberg (i will happily infodump more if people request it)

[crystalelemental]

Common Grid War Act 14, and I’ve rebalanced the ladder once again.  There are some fairly major changes that I think better reflect my stance on some of this.

To go over structure:

S: Units that go far above and beyond, to being near-staples in various game modes.

A: Highly valuable utility, or highly self-sufficient offense.

B: Good utility that’s a bit more stage-specific, or offense that can be great but definitely needs buffing support to get there.

C: More niche utility, or offense that tends to be lacking.

D: Generally poor performance, in which critical flaws impede what could be otherwise interesting niches.

F: Borderline unusable.

I’ll be going over every tier, though with some (intended) brevity.

S-Tier The usual top 4 remain, but Siebold has officially been welcomed into the fold.  I am a massive slut for Sure Crit sync nukers now, and Siebold has been part of that.  The only thing holding him back prior was general lack of confidence, but having tested him...Siebold is legitimately great.  And EX actually feels like it accomplishes some great stuff.  I feel like if Candice makes it, he makes it.

A-Tier By far the most change.  Kahili has ascended.  Endure is so good.  Applying it twice?  Divine.  Again, Sure Crit sync nukes are beautiful, but having defense drops too on a one-gauge spam?  Kahili is wildly flexible, and I kinda love her.  She’s so good that you don’t even strictly need crit support, and thus has three-turn setup.  The only reason she’s not S is because lack of EX can severely hurt in modern CS.  Blaine’s grid isn’t fantastic, but it’s sufficient, and his sun setting + trap already set him apart.  The fact his trainer move is two use to capped attack means he’s honestly easy on support needs as well, which definitely feels A-tier.  Marley’s been great support, no real changes.  Cheryl’s next because her utility is unbelievably good for Gauntlet, even if CS is somewhat hit and miss.  Whitney is beautiful utility with a decent sync nuke, and a lot of flexibility in her grid.   Agatha is the best F2P sleep user in the game, able to get perfect sleep chance, MGR9, capped speed, and even has backup skills in paralysis and an 80% chance to debuff special defense.  Unfortunately this means it’s hard to decide what to do with her in a moment, sleep is inconsistent and the entire basis of her sync damage, and she loses paralysis if she mega evolves.  So definite limitations despite how much she can accomplish.  Wikstrom is insanely good, being able to cap all offensive needs in two moves, though needing to attack first.  Wikstrom also suffers a bit from massive frailty in attack mode. If he didn’t drop so easily, he’d be way higher.  As for Noland, he’s similar to Bruno in that he just takes forever to get there, but also lacks DPS.  He’s definitely doing well, and is notably self-sufficient, but does under-perform compared to Bugsy for damage.

B-Tier Ramos is a sleep bot, but that wins games sometimes.  Brawly’s bulky and has Potion and defense drops, as well as a few interesting resistances.  Janine has solid poison sync damage, guaranteed poison chance, and the coveted Venom Drench for debuffing.  Janine has a lot of good utility tools now.   Will has fantastic DPS and sync damage, but is super reliant on buffing.  At least he has a great flinch rate and confuse.  Gardenia, as much as I love her, struggles.  Needs special attack buffing, needs sun, very reliant despite her damage.  Bugsy is super reliant on support, but has really good sync damage, and at least passable DPS for a side in CS.  Molayne’s damage hasn’t felt great, but he’s got some nice tools, including good speed and flinch rate, so that counts for something.  Crasher Wake should be higher due to self-sufficiency, but his damage is supremely disappointing due to the hard requirement for foe to be flinching for his innate sync multiplier.  It blows, so he’s here.  Liza is...good.  She can buff either offensive stat and special defense, but once her buffing is over, she’s kinda dead weight.  Worse, she’s dead weight that doesn’t even get Endure like Roxanne, so she’s a lot harder to justify.  Sophocles has great tools, but unfortunately is terrible damage.  Yes, even his sync, I have a metric ton of trouble getting him to do real damage to Thundurus, who he’s good against.  Kid struggles.  Lucy’s got good utility, but I think her damage is pretty limited for someone with such high support demands.  And Brycen!  I like him more than I let on, I think Haze is super underrated.  And that 20% freeze chance can come in clutch.  I know he’s not objectively good, but I think he’s undersold.

C-Tier I am surprisingly fond of Marlon’s grid, I think they did some interesting stuff that I’m excited to test out.  More later.  Marshall’s is...objectively better than I give credit for.  Rock Smash getting guaranteed defense drops and a 30% staggering rate at the same time is downright unit, so we’ll see if it amounts to much.  He’s also got comparable Bruno stats, but none of the self-sufficiency and terrible bulk.  But I’m optimistic.  Roxie...she’s probably better than I give credit for.  But her self-buffing is too scattered, her multipliers based on a very slow-ramping skill she has only on grid, and I’m sorry she just hasn’t impressed.  Very support reliant for not enough return.   Tate has potentially good damage and a flinch rate, but is too scattered to have anything higher than this.   Drake and Cheren.  Drake has tools, but his grid is so bad he gets like two of them and that’s it.  It’s bad, man.  It’s real bad.  Cheren I think has a better optimized grid, but less to accomplish.  I will say, of the two, I do prefer Cheren.  Full Heal can now restore some HP.  That’s far more than Drake can say.  Though both are slow supports whose only gauge control is limited MP to fully restore all gauges, but at least they get Team Sharp Entry.  Drake’s a bit higher for buffing both defenses, while Cheren can’t.  Surge and Mina bring up the bottom.  They’re good debuffers of a single stat, but are single-target, lack good self-sufficiency, and aren’t the best at damage either.  I do rate Surge higher for having a decent paralysis chance and evasion on top of his debuff, though.

D-Tier Valerie has one point of legitimately great utility, as the tank for SS Wally.  Otherwise, she is a mess.  Clay has some decent tools, but is super support reliant and Not Very Good despite it.  Hapu, somehow, is worse.  SS Brock, Grant, and Thorton are all the same thing: slow, but has a good flinch rate.  SS Brock and Grant can potentially deal damage, especially with SS Diantha coming up.  But Thorton is dead in the water.  Similarly borked is Wulfric, who has at least risen to D-tier for saving one of my recent Gauntlet matches.  You know, after like 30 resets, but eventually those freeze and flinch chances did land.

F-Tier Norman is the last winner.  Poor damage.  DPS will actively kill him regardless of grid.  Sync multipliers are bad.  No self-sufficiency.  All he has is a paralysis rate, that isn’t even guaranteed.  I feel comfortable saying he’s the worst unit in the game.

[the-invisible-queer]

My Favorite Sebastian Stan Roles

I have been a fan of his since 2008. Been calling him Baz before all the fangirls started calling him Seb and I will call him Baz til the day I die.

The list gets more unhinged the more you scroll.

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY, SEBASTIAN

Bucky Barnes from Marvel Cinematic Universe

The hardest part was figuring out which Bucky gif to use. I have been writing about this character for 11 years. I have been screaming into the ether about him to anyone who would listen. Although his time as my comfort character is coming to an end, I will never forget the many pages of fanfiction I wrote. He will forever live rent free in my head. This will always be my favorite role of his for as long as I live.

10/10 would marry and care for him for the rest of my miserable existence

Jefferson/Mad Hatter from Once Upon a Time

I would die for Jefferson. When he is reunited with Grace, that's what clicked in my brain that he was gonna be one I loved for a long time. I love him. I would die for him. He will also forever live rent free in my head. It's what he deserves.

10/10 would be a loving step-parent to Grace

Mickey from Monday

Mickey, my beloved mess of a human. Choosing this gif was the easiest decision of this post. This man makes me so soft while also making me so concerned for his mental health. He deserves all my love and attention and also deserves to see a professional.

6/10 would love to have a summer fling but would not like to spend my life with him good luck Chloe

Carter Baizen from Gossip Girl

I only started watching Gossip Girl when I learned he was in it. Ended up watching the entire series. Loved it at the time but now I'm horrified. He is the reason I will never trust a pretty boy from a rich family disinherited or not. But goddamn I was always here for the drama.

3/10 would be a fun fling but wouldn't trust him as far as I can throw him

Blaine from Hot Tub Time Machine

Blaine is an absolute cunt who deserves nothing but violence. But did he have some great moments in that movie. I almost opted to post a "Best of" video instead of a gif. But seriously he's one of my favorite assholes in any movie. Deserves to get his ass kicked a million times over.

1/10 would kick his ass but he's still pretty to look at

Charles Blackwood from We Have Always Lived In This Castle

Handsome and dangerous. Kinda weird that he was hitting on his cousin. The costume designer for this film deserves all my love and attention. He is insane and another reason why you don't trust pretty boys who come from money.

3/10 would fight over him drinking out of the milk carton

Johnny Nunzio from Tony n' Tina's Wedding

I too am the unhinged, annoying horny younger sibling. That's it. That's why I love Johnny.

0/10 he's like a child and too much to handle

Lance Tucker from The Bronze

The man is an absolute piece of work. Would not give him the time of day but that scene is one of the funniest and most entertaining scenes in Cinematic history. He is problematic as fuck and not worth the trouble.

0/10 but nice to look at when he does the flips

Tommy Lee from Pam & Tommy

He played this role so flawlessly. The show itself was shit. But his portrayal was absolute gold. The look was immaculate. I think the direction and script being trash shouldn't deter form his performance.

10/10 would let him completely ruin my life

[justgleekout]

Fic: Grease Monkey

Summary: Blaine goes to visit Kurt at 'Hummel Tires And Lube' but he is not prepared for the sight that awaits him.

Rating: T

Words: 1796

Read on: Ao3 and FF.net

Notes: I had this idea in my head for YEARS. Then I saw a post about this premise on tumblr and I thought “fuck it! This is my moment!” So I wrote it down. Please enjoy some thirsty Blaine ;)

I wanna thank my dearest beta @esperantoauthor​​ (Esperanto on Ao3) for not only correcting my mistakes but also being super supportive and kind and actually teaching me shit! <333

I also kinda made art for this fic so y'all understand my vision. I hope you enjoy it!

The doorbell rang at the Hudson-Hummel household. Blaine was standing at the front door smiling in anticipation, bowtie in place and curls neatly trapped in gel. He and Kurt were going to breadsticks tonight to celebrate their one month anniversary. All right, not the fanciest place for a date, Blaine would admit, but they wouldn’t be able to afford much better anyways. And besides, Lima didn’t really have much more to offer. 

Blaine was a bit early, so when Carole opened the door instead of his boyfriend, he wasn’t too surprised.

“Hi Carole. Is Kurt ready yet? We, eh, have a date. I’m a little early, but I thought-“ he looked inside past Carole’s shoulder to see if Kurt might be coming down the stairs already. 

“Oh, I’m sorry honey, Kurt’s still at the garage. He promised Burt to help out for a bit. I guess they’re running a little late. Why don’t you meet him there? I’m sure he’d be happy to see you,” Carole offered with a smile.

“Oh, eh, sure. I suppose I could do that,” Blaine said, with somewhat forced optimism. The idea didn’t sound as good to him as it seemed to sound to Carole. The last time Blaine had gone over to ‘Hummel Tires and Lube’ he had convinced Burt to give his son “the sex talk,” merely a week before becoming said son’s boyfriend. He and Burt were on good terms and Blaine always felt welcome in his house, but he would rather not relive the awkwardness of that moment, especially now that he had so much to lose. “Thank you Carole, have a nice evening,” he said with a small smile. 

—

“Kurt?” Blaine called out when he walked through the open garage door into the workshop. He felt awkward and out of place in the big space filled with cars, machines, and tools. He had dressed up nicely for his and Kurt’s date so he didn’t dare to touch anything in fear of getting dirty. He just stood there awkwardly shuffling from side to side, trying to catch a glimpse of Kurt. A moment had passed but there was no sign of Kurt or his father. I shouldn’t have come, Blaine thought. Kurt would want to go home to change first, before going on their date, surely. So Blaine was mostly there just to say an awkward hello and meet Kurt again a little later at his house, where they were supposed to meet up in the first place. He even felt a little relieved when no one answered. He started to walk away towards the exit to just wait in his car for Kurt to come home, but right when he reached the garage door he heard his name. 

“Blaine?” Kurt appeared from behind a car. “I thought we were supposed to meet at 6? Did I get the time wrong?” He looked over his shoulder at a clock hanging on the wall behind him. “I’m sorry if I kept you waiting.” His voice was soft and sincere.

“Oh no don’t worry about it, I was a little early so I-“ Blaine turned around to face his boyfriend and his eyes grew big when he saw Kurt. He didn’t know what he expected, but he certainly wasn’t prepared for this. 

Kurt was standing next to a shelving unit, leaning against it. He was wearing stained blue coveralls only halfway up with the sleeves tied around his waist to keep them from sagging down. He wore a tight fitting white t-shirt with the short sleeves rolled up to his shoulders. The muscles in his arms flexed as he cleaned his hands and forearms with a small towel. His hair was messy and coming out of its usual hold of hairspray. And to top it off Blaine noticed a few smudges of dark grease on Kurt’s usually porcelain smooth face. 

Blaine’s jaw dropped at the sight of him. He had never seen Kurt in any other state than perfectly put together. Not a hair out of place. Bowties, button-ups, skinny jeans, the works. He loved Kurt’s fashion sense. Of course he did. Kurt expressed himself through his clothes, so saying he did not like the way he dressed would just be another way of saying he didn’t like Kurt and that was too insane to even think about. Because boy did he like Kurt.

But there was something about this look, Kurt’s soft voice, his smooth skin and the elegant way he moved in contrast with the harsh environment of the shop, the dirt, and smell of motor oil, that made Blaine feel funny in his chest (and maybe in some other places too but he tried not to think about that right now!). Blaine felt like Kurt should look out of place here. But the opposite was true. Kurt looked downright at home in the shop and also like something straight out of Blaine’s fantasies. Kurt looked so.. traditionally masculine? Hot. He looked hot.

“Blaine?” Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow when Blaine didn’t finish his sentence and just stared at him. “Are you alright?” 

“I- Yeah I eh... I’m- I...” Blaine stammered. “Hi,” he finally managed to get out. 

Kurt chuckled a bit, put the towel down on a shelf and walked towards Blaine. “What is it?” 

“I- It’s just.. you look-“ 

“Ugh, I know. I look gross. I promise I’ll change before our date. I didn’t mean for you to see me like this.” He gestured at his appearance.

“No!” Blaine practically yelled. 

Kurt looked very confused. “No?”

“I mean, no, you look good! You look great actually,” Blaine said and could feel heat rising in his cheeks. 

“Really..?” Kurt said in a judging tone. “Blaine. I am a mess...” 

“A fucking hot mess if you ask me” Blaine muttered with a seductive grin. 

Kurt snorted but his cheeks turned slightly pink at the flirty compliment “You like this?” He asked. 

“Eh, YES! God, look at you! You look like you’ve just come from a photoshoot for a car commercial.”

“You are unbelievable,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes fondly. “Everyday I try to put the most amazing outfits together and the one time you see me when I look positively disgusting, you can’t take your eyes off me.” 

“Kurt, you know I love the way you dress. But this? Now? God you look hot. You look so strong and rugged and sexy and...” Blaine was eying Kurt up and down while tracing his hands over Kurt’s arms. “Please, kiss me.”

“But you will get all greasy if I kiss you now,” Kurt quipped, but he put his arms loosely on Blaine’s shoulders anyways. Blaine noticed they weren’t completely grease free yet but he found he didn’t actually care about getting dirty anymore. 

“Grease me up baby,” Blaine said with a big smile on his face, putting his hands on Kurt’s waist. Through the thin fabric of his shirt, Blaine could feel the warmth of Kurt’s skin. 

Kurt chuckled a little in disbelief before leaning in, kissing Blaine softly. But, the second their lips touched a low moan emerged from Blaine’s throat. Blaine’s grip tightened on Kurt’s shirt pulling him closer.

“Oh wow, you really do like this, huh?” Kurt said breaking them apart. 

Blaine hummed appreciatively, chasing Kurt’s lips “Wasn’t that obvious?” he breathed, clutching Kurt’s shirt. “So sexy.”

Kurt looked at him questioningly at first, but when he looked into Blaine’s eyes he saw nothing but want. A dark twinkle appeared in Kurt’s eyes and he grabbed Blaine, pulling him towards a nearby car. Blaine was more than happy to be led and followed Kurt eagerly. Kurt pressed Blaine against the car. Once trapped between the car and Kurt, Blaine pressed his mouth back on Kurt’s. Pulling him as close as he could. Kurt’s weight was pressing down on him from head to toe. And Blaine couldn’t help noticing that their hips were pressed together as well. 

Kurt put his hand against Blaine’s cheek and had the other pressed against his chest. He started to move against Blaine just a little. But it was enough to shoot fire through Blaine’s entire body. His hands moved over Kurt’s sides and back pulling on his shirt. God this feels good!

“No making out in the shop!” A loud voice pierced the silence in the garage. 

Kurt quickly pushed himself away from Blaine. Frantically trying to straighten his t-shirt. “Dad!” He shouted indignantly. 

“Rules are rules, kiddo. If Finn’s not allowed to make out here, neither are you.” Burt said before turning to a very disheveled looking Blaine “Evening, Blaine,” he said with a smirk.

“Mr Hummel- Burt! Hello! I am so sorry, sir! I- we didn’t-“ 

Burt started laughing heartily. “Don’t worry about it kid.”

Blaine turned scarlet and gave Burt a small, but grateful smile.

“I came to tell you, you were free to go, Kurt. But it looks like you took that liberty yourself,” Burt teased.

“Right.. thanks dad. I think Blaine and I are gonna go then.” 

“Thanks for the help today, Kurt. You’re very valuable to have around at the shop.” 

The smile on Kurt’s face grew. “You’re welcome. Happy to help,” he said to his dad before he turned back to Blaine. “Come on, let's go to my place; I need to change. As much as you might like this look, I am NOT going out to dinner in coveralls, covered in grease!” He winked at Blaine, took his hand, and pulled him to Blaine’s car. 

Blaine ducked his head laughing to himself a little. “Of course.”

Once inside Blaine’s car, Blaine felt Kurt looking at him.

“What?”

“Should we talk about what happened in there?”

“I don’t know? What would you wanna talk about?”

“You having a grease monkey fetish and me grinding up on you in my dad’s shop, maybe?” 

Laughing out loud for a second Blaine cleared his throat and responded, “Ehm, I guess I just like it when you take control like that. Especially when you look like,” he gestured at Kurt’s outfit, “that. Honestly, Kurt, you look like you came from a fucking porno magazine.”

Kurt lifted his chin up a little, his cheeks turning pink again. “Hmm, good to know. I suppose I liked it too. Feels nice to be wanted like that. I guess I never really had that before. Nor did I expect anyone to ever feel like that about me.” He smiled softly at Blaine. “You don’t look half bad yourself by the way. I didn’t really have a chance to tell you yet.” 

“Thank you,” Blaine answered with a returned smile. “Let's go then, shall we?” 

“Please. I wanna get out of these clothes!” 

They looked at each other and burst out laughing.

[sapphic-squid]

New directions at an amusement park!

Pie thanks you’re the best, also you mentioned someone being scared of roller coasters so I went with that

“Dude, man up,” Mike slaps Puck’s shoulder, “Don’t be so hard on the guy.”

“Not you too, why are you guys all wusses.” Everyone glared at Puck. The glee club had taken an impromptu trip to the nearest amusement park as a distraction from Nationals coming up soon. Soon after arriving, Finn had shyly admitted to being scared of rollercoasters.

Blaine tried to ease the tension, “You know we could just split up and do different things?” Mike and Sam were shyly nodding and agreeing with him. Puck eventually caught on, “YOU’RE ALL SCARED TOO! What’s even the point if you don’t go on a rollercoaster. I want to feel like heart is out of my chest by the end of the day.”

“You will be if you eat the funnel cake, I don’t trust it”

“You’re a cheesecake snob, you love unhealthy things,” Kurt shushed his boyfriend trying to change the topic, “SO! Are we splitting up?”

Puck signed, “Fine everyone who DOESN’T want to ride a rollercoaster raise your hand,” all the guys raised their hands and Puck let out an exasperated groan, “Fine I’ll just go with the girls and show them what a real man looks like,” he said flexing.

“No one wants to see your guns Puckerman,” Santana glared at him.

The New Directions split up into two groups planning to meet for lunch and back at the entrance at 3pm to leave, The Girls + 1, and The Losers (named by Puck). The Girls + 1 quickly grabbed a map and started tracing out a plan to hit the most roller coasters by 3. While The Losers headed towards the games to find things to do.

“Sam, you can’t stop at every game, Burt only gave Kurt and I $50 to share. And I am not paying for you once you spend all your money trying to win Mercedes a stupid bear.” Finn admired the ring pop he had already won Rachel at a whack-a-mole game.

“But it’s romantic!”

“She’s not gonna be happy with you if you can’t buy lunch because you spent all your money losing at games.”

“Just cause you won on the first try doesn’t give you permission to dis another man’s abilities,” Kurt, Blaine, and Mike watched from the side as the two bickered.

They all finally agreed on somewhere to eat for lunch. The Losers got there first sitting down with their food. Tina and Mercedes walked ahead to join their boyfriends at the table while the rest of the girls took their time. Once they had all sat down and started talking, Sam noticed something was off, “Where’s Puck?”

“Oh, he went on one roller coaster and refused to go on anymore. He’s been walking from trashcan to trashcan trying not to throw up,” Mercedes said, taking a bite of their shared sandwich. Just then Puck came into view. He sat down at the table with a salad.

“Woah, I don’t think i’ve ever seen you eat a vegetable before.”

“Watch it Hummel. Have to go light on the stomach after riding insane roller coasters all morning. You know i’m kinda tired of them by now, I might join you guys walking around.”

Everyone was glancing around the table trying to hold in their laughter. “What! Why is everyone acting so weird. If I wanted to sit a silent table of weirdos I would go visit my grandma at the old folks home.”

“We know you only lasted one ride,” Mike gave in.

Puck looked around desperate, “WHAT NO! I WENT ON ALL THE RIDES!”

“Sure you did, you barely made it through the first one without screaming like a little girl,” Mercedes looked at him

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Fine whatever, I don’t like rollercoasters. OKAY! EVERYONE HAPPY NOW!” Puck turned away from the table sulking.

After a little more teasing, Puck reluctantly joined The Guys (couldn’t be called The Losers anymore after he joined) for the rest of the day. Sam finally won Mercedes a stuffed penguin on the last game before they all had to leave. On the ride Puck passed out cold and Kurt and Blain drew mustaches on his face.

[spaceorphan18]

ngl i think it's kinda idiotic that people are complaining about "not enough queer rep on the show." glee came out in 2009, it was absolutely unheard of to have this many gay/bi/trans characters in one show and people are saying it's not enough?? they had kurt, Blaine, elliott, sebastian, dave, rachel's dads, adam, santana, dani, brittany, unique, and sheldon. that's so many, and IMO complaining about this not being enough sounds privileged as hell and is completely out of touch with reality. most shows, even now, have one, maybe two gay characters at most. glee had over ten - that's insane. klaine AND brittana had happy endings, and both couples were given development and nuance to their relationships. glee had it's m/m couple be the main focus for two whole seasons - they were the A-couple. glee gave it's f/f couple a freaking happy ending. how many shows can say that??

keep in mind, gay marriage wasn't even legal until AFTER the show ended. klaine's kissing scenes came with a parental advisory. they were already pushing the limits farther than any other show by including this many queer characters. glee has done so much more in 2009 than most shows do nowadays, and people have the audacity to complain about there not being more? ugh.

i am saying this as a queer person, by the way.

I’m trying to think there were more than you listed, too --- Chandler, Eli C (Blaine’s one night stand), Spencer, Alistar, Walter, Rachel’s sycophants, that girl Santana had an energy exchange with, a 700 piece trans choir.  

Queer stories are more than queer sex, fwiw.  

But anyway -- context is important.  

I always use the example of Dawson’s Creek (which aired while I was in high school).  It had ONE gay character -- who didn’t really get any kind of story, other than begin kicked out of his house, and one kiss with one bf, which was a huge fucking deal in 1999 or 2000 or whenever it came out.  And the thing is -- that was hugely impactful for my age group! I realize kids watching it now would find the whole thing incredibly limiting -- but change takes time, and doesn’t come all at once.  

There are plenty of reasons to be annoyed with Glee, and I think having conversations about how it could have done better are fair and warranted, but I think it’s unfair to try to judge based on restrictions from the time period it’s from. 

[amendmade]

*  NOW  PLAYING  :  OWN  ME  by  BULOW  .  don’t  look  now  ,  but  there’s  SEBASTIAN  SMYTHE  over  there  with  their  GOLD  CUFFLINKS  !  they’re  never  seen  without  it  .  rumours  say  they  hail  from  GLEE  ,  but  that  just  doesn’t  sound  right  …  after  all  ,  the  TWENTY  THREE  year  old  JOURNALIST  FOR  S13  NEWS  has  lived  their  whole  life  here  !  if  they  didn’t  ,  surely  they’d  remember  HELPING  BLAINE  WITH  HIS  WEDDING  PROPOSAL  .  either  way  ,  i  hope  they  enjoy  their  time  in  somnilia  !  /  grant  gustin  ,  cis  male  ,  he  /  him  .

CLARABELLE  :  hi  sebastian  !  thank  you  for  coming  to  meet  with  me  .  this  is  just  going  to  be  a  fun  little  interview  .  so  let’s  start  easy  !  just  for  the  record  :  what’s  your  name  ,  age  ,  gender  ,  and  pronouns  ?

god  clara  ...  you  owe  me  so  much  for  pulling  me  out  of  my  work  to  do  this  .  you  know  that  ,  right  ?  the  fact  that  you  even  have  to  do  “  resident  spotlights  ”  ...  ?  like  you  really  pulled  the  short  end  of  the  stick  .  [  he  huffs  a  laugh  but  rolls  his  eyes  ,  albeit  fondly  ,  when  he  sees  her  glare  at  him  .  ]  okay  ,  okay  ,  fine  .  i'll  play  along  .  i'm  sebastian  smythe  .  i'm  twenty  three  and  cis  male  .  i  use  he  and  him  .  all  things  that  you  know  .

CLARABELLE  :  nice  !  so  what’s  your  birthday  ?  we  can  add  it  to  the  town  calendar  ,  so  that  residents  can  celebrate  the  day  if  you’d  like  !

oh  god  ,  you're  not  going  to  actually  have  people's  birthdays  on  the  town  calendar  ,  are  you  ?  it's  april  fourth  .  but  no  celebration  ,  honestly  .  

CLARABELLE  :  do  i  look  like  an  astrology  person  ?  because  i  absolutely  am  --  what  do  you  think  your  astrology  sign  says  about  you  ?

i'm  an  aries  ...  and  from  everything  you've  told  me  ,  we  can  be  motivated  and  relentless  .

CLARABELLE  :  ah  ,  i  see  .  i  heard  you  have  something  that  you  always  bring  everywhere  with  you  .  could  you  tell  me  what  it  is  and  it’s  significance  to  you  ?

[    sebastian  pulls  out  his  gold  cufflinks  ,  tossing  them  gently  in  the  air  .  ]  just  my  cufflinks  .  i  just  like  messing  with  them  ,  really  .  [  he's  had  the  cufflinks  for  as  long  as  he  remembers  ,  ever  since  he  was  a  kid  .  hell  ,  he  used  to  think  the  cufflinks  were  just  a  toy  to  mess  with  growing  up  ,  but  they  served  him  well  .  ]  i  wore  them  when  i  got  the  job  here  at  the  news  outlet  ,  so  ...  clearly  ,  they're  worth  having  around  .

CLARABELLE  :  that’s  fair  !  so  what  has  life  been  like  for  you  in  somnilia  ?  what  was  your  childhood  like  ,  have  you  enjoyed  your  life  here  ?  is  there  anything  you’d  change  about  your  life  here  ? 

you  realise  that's  a  personal  question  that  a  lot  of  people  won't  feel  that  comfortable  answering  ...  right  ?  [  he  sighs  dramatically  .  ]  my  life  has  been  fine  .  i'm  still  here  ,  aren't  i  ?  [  who  cares  if  sebastian  had  always  grown  up  being  used  as  a  tool  in  his  parents'  arguments  ,  being  used  to  spite  one  parent  to  the  other  ?  who  cares  if  growing  up  in  such  a  fractured  household  had  fucked  up  his  perception  on  love  ?  who  cares  if  he  was  always  forced  to  be  the  best  ,  lest  he  be  considered  nothing  ?  that  he  threw  himself  into  a  major  he  didn't  want  to  be  in  just  because  his  mother  wanted  him  to  ,  so  he  rebelled  ,  only  for  him  to  get  himself  thrown  out  ?  that  he  became  so  hellbent  on  being  successful  in  journalism  ,  so  he  could  push  back  and  show  his  parents  that  he  didn't  need  either  of  them  ?  who  cared  ?  he  was  here  ,  and  he  was  a  damn  good  journalist  .  and  hell  ,  it's  not  as  if  he  was  hit  as  a  child  .  it's  not  as  if  he  was  deprived  .  he  was  fine  .  ]

CLARABELLE  :  what  do  you  have  to  say  about  those  that  say  life  here  isn’t  what  they  seem  ?  if  …  hypothetically  speaking  ,  all  of  this  was  fake  ,  what  would  your  real  life  be  like  ?  

ah  yes  .  this  again  .  [  this  time  sebastian  rolls  his  eyes  before  calmly  speaking  --  ]  you  and  i  both  know  this  theory  is  bullshit  .  we've  talked  to  our  sources  and  insiders  .  all  of  those  people  who  say  that  life  here  isn't  what  they  seem  are  all  insane  .  all  just  people  who  were  unhappy  with  their  life  who  craved  attention  and  decided  to  speak  out  .  all  of  those  weird  occurrences  had  explanations  .  [  and  even  if  life  wasn't  what  it  seemed  ..  i  mean  .  were  things  really  going  to  be  that  different  in  a  different  world  ?  he  would  still  have  his  ambition  .  he  would  still  have  his  desire  for  more  .  he  probably  would  have  been  a  stupid  ,  asshole  of  a  kid  who  realised  that  he  needed  to  grow  up  .  he  probably  would  have  had  to  realise  he  was  the  only  one  who  had  his  back  and  could  control  his  future  .  alternate  universes  could  only  change  so  much  .  but  that  still  didn't  change  the  fact  that  sebastian  refused  to  believe  in  even  the  prospect  .  it  was  ridiculous  .  ]

CLARABELLE  :  so  now  here  are  some  fun  little  questions  ,  like  ...  here’s  a  good  one  --  what  would  you  name  the  autobiography  of  your  life  ?

uh  ...  how  about  “  local  man  figures  out  how  not  to  fuck  up  his  life  while  doing  just  that  for  the  past  twenty  three  years  ”  ?

CLARABELLE  :  if  you  could  tell  your  younger  self  something  ,  what  would  it  be  ?

“  get  out  as  soon  as  you  fucking  can  .  ”

CLARABELLE  :  if  you  could  learn  any  skill  ,  what  would  it  be  ?

tap  -  dancing  would  be  kinda  cool  ,  maybe  .  

CLARABELLE  :  what  are  some  of  your  biggest  pet  peeves  ?

uhh  ...  when  people  walk  slow  .  or  ,  when  people  chew  too  loudly  .

CLARABELLE  :  how  competitive  would  you  say  you  are  ?

[  he  scoffs  .  ]  you  and  i  both  know  how  competitive  i  am  .

CLARABELLE  :  well  !  thank  you  so  much  for  all  of  that  ,  and  i’m  so  happy  to  have  had  this  interview  with  you  .  i  hope  to  see  you  around  somnilia  more  in  the  future  !

i’m  literally  going  to  see  you  right  after  this  ,  but  truly  :  good  luck  with  dealing  with  everyone  ,  clara  .

[gfn-sam-evans]

Texts || Fabrevans

Taggings: Sam Evans & Quinn Fabray When: Thursday to Saturday Notes: Getting to know each other! <3

Quinn: Please do! And once you've got it, we'll talk about a vlog. Quinn: Oh geez. That's such an unflattering picture!! Quinn: Honestly, I started getting bored. Everyone was so busy with each other, I figured I'd get home to Jude. He gives me all the attention I want. Sam: Aye, aye! It shouldn’t be too far from now. I’ve talked to Blaine about singing there. Sam: It’s not! I think it’s cute. Sam: I didn’t realize you were bored.

 Quinn: Oh that'll be a great show then. I'm sure other people will show up to join in. Quinn: oh but it really is. I could always send you a better one. A way cuter one. Quinn: I mean it was fun at first but then idk...i was ready to leave. I felt slightly odd ball out

 Sam: I hope. Sam: Business is good but it’s not booming and I don’t want to hit a bad stretch of months. That freaks me out. Sam: I won’t say no to that. Sam: I didn’t realize how fast the night turned until that truth or dare game happened. Sam: I hope I didn’t make you feel awkward

 Quinn: I understand. I can see why you'd freak out. Your business is your baby. You want it to do well. Quinn: Well hopefully we can get you some publicity and get more people to come in :) Quinn: Hmmm, now i gotta pick a good one. GIve me a sec. Quinn: I think everyone was just tipsy, and horny apparently lol Quinn: oh no no. You didn't make me feel awkward at all. I won't lie, it wasn't a bad sight

 Sam: It really is. I never thought I’d have my own store. I still pinch myself about it. Sam: Yeah. Even my date and I got carried away but I reeled it in. Sam: It was fun to do that. Not something I wanted a group of people I know to see but I couldn’t back down.

 Quinn: Was it something you always wanted to do? Or did little Sammy have other aspirations? Quinn: Oh I saw that. Although, I think she would have been okay if you hadn't. Quinn: Hey sometimes alcohol makes us do the wildest things. As long as you had fun with it, that's all that matters

 Sam: Little Sammy wanted to play football but when that didn’t look like it was happening he changed things. Sam: You saw us making out? Sam: I did but when people started taking their shirts off I didn’t know if it was about to turn into a sex party.

 Quinn: So I take it you were a football player in high school? Woulda been just my type.  Quinn: Oh I thought you meant the lap dance. No. I didn't see you make out. I'm assuming this happened after I left. Quinn: Yeah it was getting wild. And while I'm not afraid of wild, I had had enough for one night

 Sam: You’re into jocks? I still play but only when I’ve got time. Sam: Yeah. That’s why I was confused. I took her home and then left after she fell asleep. It was a fun date but I don’t like being that guy who hooks up with someone right off the bat. Sam: Kissing is fine though. Sam: You’re not? What’s the wildest thing you’ve done?

 Quinn: Well I mean I was in HS. I was head cheerleader after all. But I was super into the artistic types too. Quinn: Ahh gotcha. Sorry for the confusion. But that's very gentlemanly of you. Quinn: I don't think there's anything wrong with kissing on the first date. Especially if you've had a good time... or you're super into/attracted to them. Quinn: Wildest? Ummm... climb up to the roof of a house and jump into a pool, half naked? I mean granted I was drunk so that could have been super dangerous.

 Sam: I try to draw but I’m not the best. I can do macaroni art and make actual masterpieces with it. I can show you if you ever want to see it. Sam: Quinn! That’s insane! Even I wouldn’t do something like that.

 Quinn: Wait seriously?? I have to see this. Ive never heard of someone who makes macaroni masterpieces. I'm intrigued.  Quinn: Yeah... not one of my proudest moments. I won't lie... I did a lot of stupid stuff the first two years after HS...

 Sam: They’re good. What I lack in drawing I’ve picked up with macaroni. Sam: Why after high school?

 Quinn: That's impressive. You're full of surprises Sam Evans Quinn: Well pretty much my whole childhood and high school career I had an image to uphold. For the sake of my mother basically. I got tired of it. So when I graduated, I wanted to live my own life. I uhh... I partied a lot. I was super social. But along with all of that, I hung out with the wrong crowd, did things I shouldn't have.... Just lost control of my life basically.   Quinn: wow I'm sorry, we barely know each other and I'm unloading all this heavy stuff on you. I'm so sorry.

 Sam: I like you shared that with me. I did a lot of stupid things in college. Not to live a deprived life but because I hung out with a lot of frat guys. They wanted me to pledge but I didn’t want to go through the whole Greek thing.

 Quinn: Are you sure? That's alot of information I'm sure you didn't want to know. Quinn: But yeah.. I didn't even bother with sororities. But I knew where all the parties were. Living in LA, there's always a party somewhere

Sam: We’ve all been through stuff, Quinn. It’s s lot but it’s still things that help me get to know you better. Sam: I spent my freshman year drunk most of the time. I had fun and met a lot of cool people. Did crazy things kinda kind what happened at that party.

 Quinn: I don't tell people these things. Even some of my closest friends here in Nashville know about this part of me. About my past. Quinn: Yeah sounds like me. I didn't even finish though. I uh... kinda got kicked out because I missed too many classes.  Quinn: I'm uh... really not proud of that.

 Sam: I used to dance for money. Sam: Only sharing that because you said you told me something real personal. But I get doing things you’re not proud of.

 Quinn: Sam you didn't have to do that. Just because I'm basically word vomiting right now doesn't mean you have to too. Quinn: But now I know why you're so good at it.

 Sam: That was me drunk. William sent me the video and I could tell I lost my touch. I needed money to send home and that was a quick way without dropping out of college. Sam: Just don’t tell anyone. Okay?

 Quinn: I've always heard it was a good way to make some serious chunk of change.  Quinn: Your secret is safe with me. I promise. I wouldn't tell a soul.

 Sam: It is. I made a crap load. It was insane because I’ve worked all types of jobs but that one was a last resort job and it paid the best. You lose a little of yourself and I had to go slow with giving my parents the money because they thought I was delivering pizzas.

 Quinn: oh wow. So like on average how much were you making a night? If you don’t mind me asking. I won’t lie but I kinda wish there wasn’t a stigma about the adult business. They’re just trying to make a living like everyone else.

 Sam: it depended on the night and how busy it was. The most I made in one night was $300. Sometimes you get requested by clients. I was one of the favorites there which seemed weird but it was extra money. I did it for a few months.

 Quinn: Wow. That's nice. The money I mean, not being favored by people. I'm glad you found what you actually wanted to do though. Although  some lucky lady is gonna be able to see your experienced moves.

 Sam: it’s nice but it messes with your head. I didn’t really want to date for awhile and didn’t exactly like to be touched. Sam: Technically many lucky people have.

 Quinn:  Oh wow. I never even thought about it messing with someone. I'm sorry. Here I am praising you for it and when in reality... it sounds like it's something you didn't really want to do.  Quinn: Well true but it's not the same like in the intimacy of the bedroom. That's what I meant.

 Sam: It’s cool, Q. You didn’t know and it wasn’t all bad. I met interesting people and got to take part in shows. It felt like being in theater with some of the acting we did. Just when I thought about what it was in the end. That’s what gets me. Sam: Oh. Uh, yeah. That...I haven’t heard any complaints when it comes to that.

 Quinn: Okay then, let's just say you were in Magic Mike... the musical? lol idk Quinn: Well from seeing your moves the other day, I didn't think you had

Quinn: I had a good time yesterday btw

 Sam: I did too! Sorry I didn’t realize I had pasta sauce on the side of my face.Sam: Magic Mike would make an interesting choice for one.

 Quinn: It's alright. It happens to the best of us. It was cute seeing you slightly blush. Quinn: actually i think it's actually a thing...

[brooklynpuck]

The Take Over, the Breaks Over || Puckcedes

Who: Noah Puckerman and Mercedes Jones What: Puck and Mercedes talk by the pool Where: The LA house When: Morning of Thursday, July 13, 2017.

After a day of staying at the Hotel Roosevelt Puck knew it was time to face the music. There were guests arriving today, they had a final bus ride to take that would lead them to a wedding in Napa, a wedding that just wasn't going to happen anymore. Puck gathered his things and tucked his notebook, which was now full of new songs, into his backpack and checked out. He caught a Lyft to the house and waited by the pool. Puck sent a quick text to Mercedes letting her know where he was and that they needed to talk.

The day itself was amazing, she truly loved being in LA. There was something about it that just made her feel at home. Filming was insane and getting to set where everyone already knew her, already knew who she was and what she was about was mind blowing. The only damper in her mood was that Puck hadn’t shown up. She wanted to talk to him but once her manager told her about the TMZ story, she knew why Puck wasn’t there. He might have been embarrassed or whatnot. The only saving grace was that he knew she would never cheat on him so they could talk about everything and make a decision on their future with clear minds. She had gotten his text and made her way down the pool, walking over to him she smiled. “Hey I missed you today.”

Stood up from the pool chair when Mercedes walked out of the house. "Yeah, I had some things to think about", he said simply. "How was filming?"

“It was incredible, I mean I love singing its my passion but I could so get into acting too. They want me to come back next week, I wasn’t told its a three episode arc but I am so here for it.” She threw her hair in a ponytail and sighed. “So what’s up?”

"That's good, really good." Puck was surprised by how cavalier Mercedes seemed given how he'd spent the last 24 hours. "Well, the article for one", he replied

“Yeah I am happy about it.” She glanced at him and nodded. “Yeah that article was a shock but I already knew stuff like that was a possibility. People don’t respect privacy.”

"More wondering what was up with the romantic picnic then the article itself", Puck said. "Plus umm, the other day I picked up your phone by mistake. I saw the texts from Sam."

Mercedes shook her head with a bitter laugh. “Romantic picnic? Really Puck? We were on the beach during the day. And yeah kinda figured you did when I read over yours. Buy unlike you I chose not to jump to conclusions.” She ran her hands through her hair. “I told you that Sam and I were hanging out. I thought we were going to Disney bit Sam wanted to do something else. I didn't know we weren't going until he started driving.”

"And you didn't tell me about that or that he's in love with you", Puck added. "Just tell me, are you in love with Sam?"

“I didn't tell you because I needed to come to terms with what he said. You act like I texted him back that I loved him and hated you.” She moved closer to him. “We don't lie to each other.  You know that I thought I might still have feelings for Sam. And being around him made me realize that yes I still love him more than I thought I did. That doesn't mean that I don't love you and that doesn't mean I cheated on you!”

Sighed as Mercedes tried to justify something that he just didn't find justifiable. "You should have come to me when you started feeling that way. Never said you didn't love me or care about me, but I can't help but think you're actively in love with Sam and that I'm the last one to know."

“And I can't help but think you are actively falling for Sugar! And yet even with your history even with the fact that you have had sec with all the girls here but Rachel I choose to trust you, trust us. You can think what you want I don't care but what you won't do is make me feel bad for something I didn't even know I felt until the night before we hung out. I didn't know what it was and before I could talk to you about it we were all off on our days of fun. And I wanted to tell you about it when we got back around three that afternoon but you guys were still at the park living it up and holding hands. This whole trip I have watched you go from loving on me to hanging with everyone and I have seen us drifting further apart. And I am trying so hard to hold on to us. And when I realized what I felt for Sam I knew we needed to talk. I thought when you saw that article you would know me well enough to know I would never hurt you but I don't know you. Not at all of that's what you think of me.”

"I've given you no reason to not trust me, so the fact that you're taking a dig at my past is fucked up. It's been you and only you since we got together." Laughed at her assessment of the trip and of the baseless accusations regarding Sugar. "Have we been on the same trip? Because right now it feels like we've been on two different buses", he said bitterly. "I don't think you cheated on my Mercedes, I never said that, I know you wouldn't do that. I get that you didn't realize your feelings for him, but I shouldn't have had to read and article to find out where you were. I asked if you were in love with Sam, love like you felt when you were in high school and you haven't given me a straight answer", he replied hoping to finally get a real answer. "Sugar is my friend, I've known her my entire life. We spent a day at the park, in front of everyone and their mother b.c she was worried me marrying you would mean the end of our friendship. The pic I posted was a joke, Sugar was dragging me on a bunch of rides. But hey read into that if it makes you feel better about the situation", Puck said, almost regretting his last sentence.  "I spent time with everyone on the trip because this road trip wasn't about me and you, it was about everyone we were once so close to, that we spent four years with as best friends reconnecting, and I'm sorry if you don't get that." What Mercedes said was true, they were drifting and Puck couldn't deny that and he didn't want to at this point. "You're right, things aren't the same. We're not the same as we were in New York."

“No! I am not in love with Sam like I was in high school, because we are not the same two people we were in high school. But I won't lie and say, if things were different, if there wasn't a me and you, if we tried to make it work then maybe I could be in love with him. He told told me he loved me and I told him that yes I loved him too, differently than you but still love. You say this trip wasn't about us but it was! This was supposed to be our wedding trip first and a bond trip second, but it didn't work like that.” She turned away from him his words stinging her but she didn't want him to know. I don't know how many times I can tell you I had no idea where he was taking me but I am glad he did take me there. I got my best friend back. Just because we dated doesn't mean that our friendship is less important than everyone else's. And let me be clear article or not until you spoke to me you should have not even paid attention to it, as for how you found out if you were home before I went to sleep or up before I left then you would have known. I did nothing wrong and that's my truth. Take what happened any way you want but I am not gonna feel bad because some over zealous wanna be reporter made mountains out of molehills.”

"You don't get it, this was for us and for everyone else, I didn't work on the bus just for you, I did it because I wanted to reconnect with friends and because it would be a fun way to get to Napa. There was a me and you component , but being upset that I didn't spend every waking moment with you, when we did stuff the entire trip together just seems like a way to justify whats going on with you and Sam. Like you need to see an error in me to feel okay with your choices. Everything isn't about you, everything isn't about us. There are other people here", Puck replied before sitting back down on the pool chair. "Whatever you say, Mercedes", Puck replied knowing that she'd never see the situation the way he did. "We both know things aren't working. I... I can't marry you."

“Wow, when did I say this was all about Me? When did I say I needed to justify anything? I didn't do anything wrong, I hung out with him like I did Santana and Blaine. I am telling you that I am over this. I went on that stupid bus for You! Do you think I wanted to drive cross country? Hell no I didn't but I did it for you. Everything I have done was for you. I am just sorry I spent time watching you “bond” rather than furthering my career.” He said he couldn't marry her and she scoffed, shaking her head. “Puck, let's make this clear you can't marry me that is fine you are under the impression this between us was still going on. Either you are too blind to see that girl has feelings for you or you just don't care because i read how she talked to you, how you talked to each other...but neither are my problem. Now I have things to do and standing here having this conversation with you just dropped from that list. Have a safe trip to Napa, my parents weren't leaving til tonight so I can have them cancel their flight.” She took a breath looking at him. “Despite what you think I do love you, maybe it's not as much as Sam but I do. And I wish you success in your career and all you do. But if we don't talk for awhile, it would be fine by me.” Taking off her ring she placed it on the table next to him then turned walking away before she gave in to the emotions she was feeling.

"Actions speak louder than words", Puck added. He knew that arguing with Mercedes would be pointless, she'd see no wrongs in her actions, that she'd done plenty to further her career over the last month, but she would only see what she sacrificed and what she perceived he did on the trip. He couldn't help but laugh at her reply, of course things were over, they were over the moment she didn't tell him what happened on the beach, when he had to wait more than 24 hours after the fact to find out from a website. There were opportunities available to her, the evening after the day spent on the beach, on the set of The Real, even over text of a phone call. Truthfulness can make or break a relationship and he knew his was done from her lack of candor the moment he read the article. Mercedes admitting that her love for Sam was deeper than her love for Puck stung, but at the same time he knew that he wasn't in love with Mercedes. He was in love with the idea of being in love and an idea is never as perfect as you hope. In that moment her confession affected him deeper than he expected, it confirmed a long held theory, that he wasn't someone that was meant to be loved. "Enjoy LA", Puck responded before laying back on the pool chair. If he was going to be in stuck in LA for another hour or two he might as well get some sun.

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Choke

Masterpost

3x18: Choke

Okay -- so after along absence, I am back! And jumping into an episode I consider the beginning of a long downward spiral of quality of episodes that I don’t think really recovers until we get to Dynamic Duets in season 4.  Yes, we’re entering a dark time here, (and my personal least favorite part of the series) but that doesn’t mean there aren’t interesting things to pick apart.  

So, let’s do this... 

Phantom of the Opera

So -- we open Kurt’s story here with him singing Music of the Night -- a standard if there ever was one. It’s his audition for NYADA.

And you know, it’s nice.  It’s not great.  It’s definitely undoctored as he goes a little flat on a few notes.  Intentionally or not, when Kurt goes on about it being safe and being bored with the number, I think he has a point.  There’s nothing about this performance that stands out.  I don’t even need to do meta on the music, because it’s so unrelated to Kurt, that it’s not really worth it.  And with the lackluster performance of Tina as Christine (god, talk about no chemistry, though I know they were purposely trying for that), I think the point is that it /is/ the safe and boring choice.  

I love that Kurt’s ideas to spruce it up are utterly ridiculous.  Doing it German? Sing it in the nude? More sequence on the cape? Kurt’s used to doing outlandish things to get attention -- but I’d like to point out that all of these things are about being theatrical, but not about himself.  And, if I’m going to tie this in with season four’s Swan Song -- I should mention, Kurt’s audition pieces are, and should be, about showing himself. 

And I mean, it’s not that Kurt’s theatrics aren’t him -- they are! It’s just that it’s an outward persona.  Who Kurt is on the inside is something he often keeps guarded.  And right now he’s playing up to expectations of what he thinks people want him to be -- not showing off what he really is. 

Meanwhile -- out in the audience is Blaine, trying very hard to be the dutiful boyfriend now that we’re post-Dance With Somebody.  He isn’t quite sure how to tell Kurt that his ideas really aren’t that great.  However, he does have the best line of the scene.  When Kurt suggests adding more candles, Blaine’s response is hilariously amazing.  

Blaine: Oh god no.  No more candles. 

School’s Out

Intersecting with Puck’s story, he comes blazing through singing some Alice Cooper.  Most of the glee club looks confused or repulsed.  I love that Kurt’s just scared, and at one moment, you can see him almost curled into Blaine -- like save me from this insanity.  It’s kinda hilarious, actually.  

Change of Plans

Something I’d like to point out -- post Whitney tribute, Kurt changes his locker.  It’s more reflective of being a senior, and more photos of the group and the seniors.  I’m a little sad that the Blaine shrine came down (though, I’ll argue that it needed to as they go from fairy tale to real story), but I am amused he has a picture of Brittana in his locker.  

Anyway, we get into the crux of Kurt’s story for the episode.  And, I’m going to be straight with you, there are a few things about this that drive me a little nutty.  As I’ve been saying through most of season three, Kurt’s NYADA arc in the season is intentionally propped up against Rachel’s.  All of Kurt’s decisions and all of the good things that happen to him are going to be marred because of what happens to Rachel.  But making it even worse is the fact that Rachel’s going to get into NYADA and Kurt, while doing his best, while trying is everything, is not.  And while I’l say, yes, yes, Kurt gets the better story line out of it -- I can’t help but be annoyed that for a long while, he just can’t have a story line to himself.  

In addition -- I’m not really thrilled with what Glee is trying to sell here.  Kurt wants to take a chance on something that he feels right.  And in Glee world, it is the better choice ultimately.  But just a word of advice for any of you who might be going into the performing arts -- practice.  Seriously, practice.  You aren’t going to get anywhere on talent alone.  I promise you that -- as someone who’s been there.  Do not just wing it because you think you can.  

However, here, though, Rachel’s projecting all of her insecurities and issues onto Kurt.  It’s another Hummelberry trait that’s going to drive me nuts, as this kind of thing is going to get worse as we go into season 4, and Kurt starts drinking her Kool-Aide more. 

Rachel thinks he’s self-sabotaging by going with a song he feels more connection to, and taking a risk on something he feels more passionate about.  He’s not -- it’s the right choice.  There is something to say about being on top of things and being inspired to do something, instead of Rachel, who’s relying on being in her comfort zone, which is why she’ll crash later on.  

Also -- man, Rachel has some control issues in this scene, and Kurt kind of lets her steamroll right over him.  I realize that Rachel is kind of a tour de force at times, and I’m glad he kind of shakes her off later on, but man, Rachel, let Kurt make his own decisions.  

(I need to take a second say how much I appreciate the scene where Finn is telling all the guys his plan on intervening with Puck.  It’s hilariously amazing.) 

Not the Boy Next Door

It’s audition day -- and Rachel tells Kurt that their adjudicator is none other than Carmen Tibideaux, NYADA and Broadway Bigwig.  Now, here’s my thing -- I adore Whoopie Goldberg, I’m delighted she did the show because I think she’s fantastic.  But Carmen Tibideaux drives me crazy -- and not really because of how she handles Kurt, which she could have done a lot better, but because the way she runs things doesn’t make much sense, and she often lets Rachel get away with waaaay too much, imo.  

Kurt’s understandably nervous -- because yeah, this is a big crossroads moment for him, and to do so in front of someone so prolific heightens the stakes.  But you know, he’s wearing those gold lame pants underneath that phantom costume.  It was always an option, even as he let Rachel talk him down the safe path.  I think the fact that it was Carmen made Kurt decide to go with something he’s ultimately more comfortable and interested in doing.  While Carmen may not see it, this is Kurt at his best -- and at least afterwards, he can say that he gave it his all, and presented himself the best way he knew how. 

(Btw, as this starts -- Blaine sneaks himself into the audience.  This is such a little ‘awww’ moment.  I love how proud Blaine is of Kurt throughout this sequence.) 

Anyway -- it’s interesting how Kurt can read Carmen when he gets out on stage.  She’s heard Music of the Night hundred times, as well as The Impossible Dream and Being Alive.  I have to wonder if they knew they were giving Kurt Being Alive next season.  It’s hard to tell with Glee.  

So yeah -- Kurt makes the split-second decision to go with Not the Boy Next Door.  And I kind of love this small little moment before the song starts, as Kurt closes his eyes and goes to a different place, and sheds the scared part of him off as he embraces the role of Peter Allen.  It’s just kind of awesome.  

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33ZKxx1YSks] <---- Not the Boy Next Door Link.  Idk why Tumblr won’t actually let me post it correctly.  But go watch it!

So.  Not the Boy Next Door. 

I don’t think there’s another solo that’s as Kurt Hummel-ish as this one.  This song is so fantastic, and it’s Kurt at the height of his scene-stealing ability.  The choreography is interesting, it’s most definitely an homage to the original musical -- only Kurt adds his signature moves, which is adorable and brilliant.  He sounds fantastic on the number, and it’s a shame we don’t get the full studio recording, as that shows off his range better than here.  Everything about this is such an amazing performance, and I’m so glad they had Kurt do it. 

I'm not sorry for just bein' me But if you'd look past the past you could see That I am not (I am not the boy next door)

And, of course, this song fits with Kurt so well.  Because it’s about a guy who realizes that he doesn’t fit into the mold that society deems worthy but that doesn’t matter -- he decides to leave the facade behind, and be himself.  And that is exactly what Kurt is doing here -- showing off his true colors, and completely owning it.  

Also.  I should probably mention the gold lame pants. But, I mean I think they kinda speak for themselves ;) 

(Watching Blaine through this is so entertaining -- we are all you, bb, proud and overjoyed about Kurt’s performance)

So.  Here’s the interesting and complicated part about all of this.  We know Kurt.  We saw him shine like the bright bb that he is.  Carmen, however, does not know that this is Kurt coming into his own and owning it.  And she just happens to have a different set of standards.  Because this performance, yes was undoubtedly Kurt Hummel at his best.  But.  It wasn’t Kurt at his emotional and raw.  So to Carmen -- she can see that he can perform, but can he dig down deep and give emotion? Well, we know that he can, because most Kurt Hummel solos do that ever so well.  But she doesn’t see that here.  

And now -- that’s personally why I think you do a variety of things when you audition, but this is Glee logic, so whatever.  But what I find kind of interesting here is that she compliments him -- because he does deserve it.  But maybe because i’m watching it knowing what happens, I kind of sense something else here, too.  She was impressed, sure, but she didn’t see what she wanted to see. She congratulates him for taking the risk -- but that’s all.  It’s not enough for her.  

(Now -- I’m not going to sit her and say I’m completely content with this -- especially since Rachel whining enough is enough to get Carmen to change her mind, but I’m just trying to make sense of the whole thing)  

So, oh Kurt, he’s so happy, and proud of himself, and I love it.  And I’m so sad that it’s just not enough right now.  

  The Consolation of Ms. Rachel Berry

And now we get to the frustrating part that leads into the messiness that is the end of season 3.  Rachel chokes on her audition.  Kurt is in disbelief.  And I’m frustrated because Rachel fucking it up means that Kurt’s going to fail.  Because Rachel needs to succeed.  And for reasons I just don’t get, that seems to be the balance the writers need to strike in this stupid NYADA plotline.  Why can’t both of them succeed? I don’t know. Why is it every time something goes Kurt’s way -- Rachel is left an emotional mess to be picked up? I don’t know.  Why does Kurt have to fail if Rachel wins? I don’t get it either.  But that’s the plot line we get.  I guess the only consolation is that Kurt ends up being the better developed character after all of this. 

And -- here at the end, Kurt does what Kurt always does.  He tries to make Rachel feel better in the varying ways he knows how.  And I feel like now is where we’re cemented (at least for a while) in how the Hummelberry dynamic is going to work.  Rachel emotionally stumbles and Kurt’s there to pick her back up again.  And it’s going to be this off balance until we get to season five.  I wouldn’t mind so much if it’s sometimes turned the other way (and around season five we get that), or if Rachel didn’t always need to be picked up from being an emotional mess.  But, I get the feeling that that’s really what the writers knew how to write.  And I suppose the Kurt fan in me is sad that his story is sidelined for a good long while as he becomes, essentially, Rachel’s side kick.  

Now in general - I don’t want to knock friendship stories. And I’m glad that he that they show he does have this huge heart.  And I’m also not saying that Rachel doesn’t deserve to have this low moment, either, because she does.  I just wish they had gone in a different direction -- and had shown that sometimes dreams change because you screw up -- not that you screw up, and people crown you prom queen because you’re sad, and if you harass the right people long enough you get what you want.  But I digress.  

But, ah, this I suppose is the last high point as Kurt’s year is going to get a whole lot worse.  Fun times ahead!