#and EVERYONE is sending her ccs and being like GIRL WAKE UP

[justthinkingaboutlouis]

Hi Swathi, I saw that you were going to sleep so here is Zayn's recap for you (that you didn't ask) when you wake up:

Here is the link with the documentary and performance on ig. If you want only the documentary here is the video on twitter.

So after the DJ (who btw was in Louis first AFHF), they play the mini documentary where Zayn talk about how excited he was to sing in this performance after all this years etc.

Then Zayn appeared with this outfit, the coat was gone like after the first song or something like that and he look like this.

According to twitter the setlist was My Woman (twitter link), Alienated, Birds On A Cloud, Concrete Kisses x, Dreamin x, Gates Of Hell (twitter link) (I really just was listening without paying attention to the order).

He thanks the fans for the support and for waiting for him. It was all so good and end it so soon for all of us but it was worth it.

He got confused at one point on what song was next.

This was a few of the screen graphics x x x.

The fan project that Zayn never saw because he left without warning.

That is what I can remember. I hope you have a nice day/afternoon/night :)

CC... YOU ATE AN ANGEL😘😘 THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE RECAP.

Finally I was able to catch-up with zono!

How cool is that! She has now Dj'd zouis shows🤩 and the documentary starting somewhere in Pennsylvania had me😂 and hearing Zayn's thoughts and him sharing his rehearsals and just goofing around the farm is everything and absolutely loved how he says we are all just human beings not everyone is perfect and don't get me wrong even though there is pressure on him for returning on stage after 9 years, he seems so at peaceful and just be happy to be playing his album live which is just him and without the in ears fucking hell Zayn bro how did you manage to do that?

He looked so good and the coat was gone during 1st song 😂 and absolutely loved the screen and visuals throughout the show. His band is amazing all girls🥰 he thanked after every song and did the bow at end of the send and left just like that😂. His vocals are just amazing and my god he just smashed live performance the crowd was so happy to be there and hear him live the live streamer was so sweet with her commentary I love her.

Sad that he didn't see the fan project in real-time but I saw it was being recorded so he sure has seen it by now I think.

Again you're an angel thank you so so much for the great recap. Have a nice day/noon/night angel CC.

[holly-louisexox]

Ribcage X Andy Biersack- Part 18

Masterlist

"There's one thing you should know about me Delia Vincent, I don't date. Got no heart to break and emptiness is safe, keep it that way."

He was adamant in his choices…

…But then things changed.

"Okay, earpiece test in 3, 2, 1." Delia states before sending the earpiece noise through to the guys who all give her a thumbs up in response; Andy does so without looking in her direction. "Okay great, if you could go ahead and start with Wake Up so I can get the mix correct then we'll move onto Faithless to test the backing of the bell."

Just as the band started playing, that's when Shevy walks into the sound tech studio and takes a seat next to Delia, a look of concern on the girl's face.

"How are you feeling today D?" Shevy asks "And please don't lie, I saw the tears you were fighting last night."

"Does it matter how I feel Shevy? Andy made his feelings very clear last night and even then I knew deep down it would never work between us anyway." Delia sighs. "Forgetting how cruel and unkind he can be, Andy will go back to Los Angeles and I'll return to Ohio, we'll be miles apart anyway."

"You know Andy is originally from Ohio, right? He's always going back to visit there." Shevy states.

"Shevy, I honestly don't care anymore, I'm done with him. I'm not going to keep torturing myself. I'm an idiot for even sleeping with the guy, whatever I'm feeling towards him I need to forget about it."

"You like him don't you?" Shevy smiles lightly.

"I do, I really do, and I know I shouldn't. Every single cell in my brain is screaming at me to let him go, but every fibre of my body almost begs for him to touch me again, not even for just sex. He makes out to be this guy who doesn't care for people and who doesn't believe in love, but sex with him he's so gentle and almost loving and that's what truly confuses me." Delia sighs turning back to look at the soundboard.

"Okay, I'm not going to ask more about the situation because you're starting to look upset and the last thing I want to do is make you cry. All I'm going to say though is just see what happens, maybe give him a chance to come to his senses. This tour he seems to be more willing and open with his emotions, something I haven't seen in a while, I like to think it's because of you." Shevy explains "If you need me I'll be backstage okay hun?"

"Okay, see you soon Shevy."

----------------------

"So what's the plan after Seattle then boys?" CC asks "Are we getting drinks to celebrate the tour like always?"

"Is that such a good idea CC?" Lonny asks "With what's been going on in Seattle I'm not sure that's such a great idea."

"Nonsense, it'll be fine. We'll have security with us, plus if we stick together everything will be fine." CC tries to reassure the youngest member of the band.

Soundcheck finished about 10 minutes ago so everyone was just relaxing backstage before VIP started in 2 hours. Despite the conversations that had been happening in the room, the tension was still there; Andy's outburst yesterday made the group feel very awkward in the presence of both Andy and Delia, Shevy and Lonny feeling nothing but sorrow for their new friend whilst Jake, Jinxx and CC had guesses of what went down.

"I agree with Lonny, I'm not sure I'm fond of that idea CC." Shevy agrees with Lonny.

"Could we maybe talk about something other than Seattle please?" Delia speaks up whilst staring into space. All she could feel was Andy's eyes on her and she was trying desperately to ignore his gaze, if she looked at him she knew she'd crack.

"We better move from the conversation in case Delia faints again, I can't guarantee I'll be able to catch her this time." Andy mumbles loud enough for everyone to hear; Delia felt her heart shatter more. Why was he being like this? Was this all part of his game? To make Delia feel like she could love him only for him to rip the platform from underneath her and leave her hanging for her life?

"I'll be back, I just remembered I need to make a call quickly." Delia stutters slightly before rushing out of the room, Andy's eyes of course following her whilst the rest of the band look at Andy in confusion. They were pleasantly surprised with hope to think that he was changing back to his old self, sadly it seemed that they were all wrong.

-----------

"Delia honey, I thought you had a show today?" The voice of Delia's mum comes through the phone in shock and happiness.

"Yeah, we do." Delia smiles sadly as she speaks through the phone. "Mum, I think I've made a mistake." It's then Delia feels the tears start to roll down her cheeks; Delia has always been close to her mum, she would always talk gossip and men with her. Her favourite memory is how her mum would always make her a hot drink they would both share biscuits whilst sharing the news that had occurred, her mum was always the best at giving advice.

"Oh Petal, what's happened? I'm sure you've done nothing wrong." Her mum coos over the phone; this would be when her mum would wrap her up into a hug if they were together in person.

"I slept with the lead singer and... I think I've grown to like him." Delia admits letting out a broken sigh.

"Oh petal, I wouldn't call that a mistake." Delia's mum was always an optimist in situations like this "Trust me when I say that most people who sleep together end up catching feelings for one another, chances are he probably feels the same."

"But he doesn't mum." Delia whimpers as she feels more tears fall down her cheeks "I feel like an idiot, I knew he didn't do commitment yet I put myself in that position."

"How many times has it been Delia?" Her mum was never one where things were too much information, Delia had always been able to share things from the first time she had her period to when she lost her virginity and panicked about contraception and safe sex.

"Twice." Delia admits.

"Okay, well I would advise on not sleeping with him again and let him make the next move. But most men who are non-committable don't often sleep with the same person more than once." Delia's mum always was a voice of reason, always trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

"It hurts mum, he's said some really hurtful things and it's hard to hide that I'm not affected when really I am." Delia cries before telling her mum about yesterday's outburst.

"Do you want the truth Delia?" her mum asks her, her silence confirming to her mum that she in fact did want the truth. "I think he's damaged Petal and people do weird things when they are damaged. From what you've told me it seems that he holds an interest in you, but he's likely battling with his head." 

"What do I do mum?" Delia asks.

"Don't overthink it. Let him come to you. If he truly does hold interest, which I believe he does, he needs time to win the battle in his head. Sometimes our mind can be our own biggest enemy." Delia's mum states.

"Yeah, maybe you're right." Delia nods even though she knew that her mum could not see such a gesture. "I erm, I should head back. The VIP starts soon then we have the show."

"Yes, of course, good luck dear. I'll see you next week when you're home." 

"I'll see you next week mum." 

Time is what we want most but what we use worst. Life teaches us to make good use of time while time teaches us of the value of life.

[delicatetaysversion]

lol

[lumpypanda13]

Zomboo AU

Hi there! This is my first post on tumblr that isn’t a reblog so I hope it’s good! :)

(Edit - This was originally supposed to be a multi-chaptered fic but due to a busy schedule and general lack of inspiration for this particular story I’ve decided to leave it as a one shot. Sorry to anyone who wanted more from this story, however if anyone wants to pick up where I left off feel free :)) All I ask is that you tag me if you do write more so I can read it :D) 

TWS/CWS: Death, blood, gore, mentions of vomiting but nothing graphic or detailed, mentions of intentional misgendering and bullying, swearing, all caps in the last sentence, biting and a description of someone being attacked by/turned into a zombie.

If any of those make you uncomfortable or uneasy please don’t read! The last thing I want is to trigger someone /gen

This is strictly about the characters, not content creators - I will never write about any cc!s and if I accidentally break any of their boundaries (or forget to include/tag a tw/cw) please let me know. Also please don’t send this to any cc!s or mention it in any of their chats.

The idea for this is based off of this tiktok and I use he/they pronouns for Ranboo throughout.

With all of that out of the way, I hope you enjoy!

-Petrichor <3

The apocalypse wasn’t at all how Ranboo had imagined it to be. The hoards were exceedingly slow, fumbled over the simplest of movements and couldn’t work together to literally save their lives.

This did, however, make being a zombie all the easier for Ranboo.

It had started like most other days. Ranboo woke up with their alarm, dressed and headed to school all without waking their parents. If he woke them, he’d have hell to pay; they weren’t home often but when they were, they were best left undisturbed. They made their way quickly to school, ignoring the taunts and jeers thrown at them by a group of kids in their classes who had overheard them state their pronouns once and made it their mission to misgender them at every turn. Ranboo had gotten quite good at ignoring certain people who decided to make life hell for him, knowing that one day karma would give them their dues and reward him for putting up with so much bullshit.

He made it to his fourth period of the day, sat in algebra listening to his teacher drone on about how incredibly useful and not-at-all pointless the equations they were doing were, when he happened to look out of the large window to his left and see a girl from his chemistry class sink her teeth into the jugular of a jock he didn’t recognise. Wincing at the PDA, Ranboo quickly turned their attention back to the mind-numbing math – it was better than seeing a couple get way too comfy in public. They continued on until someone in the row in front of them let out a shriek.

“He’s dead! Oh my god someone killed Punz!”

At that Ranboo’s head snapped up. Punz was a well-known student who gained highschool fame by playing on the football team with his little group of jock friends and who had been fairly nice to Ranboo for a while now. Most of that group was nice to them, especially the senior captain Dream who had taken one look at Ranboo and declared them under his protection.

Everyone in the classroom, the teacher included, had rushed to the side of the room, and were pressed against the window. Gasps of shock and terrified exclamations rang out from the group although Ranboo couldn’t see anything past them. One boy rushed away from the group towards the wastepaper bin where he threw up and, while the crowd was temporarily separated, Ranboo used his above average height to his advantage as he slid into the gap and gazed out the window to where the couple had been a minute prior. The girl was nowhere to be seen but the jock, confirmed now to be poor Punz, lay on the pavement in a pool of his own blood, his neck torn open with teeth marks just barely visible around the pulsing wound. His face was turned away from the classroom, but it was obvious that he was dead – nobody could survive an injury as severe as that.

Just as Ranboo felt bile rise up in his throat, Punz twitched. Ranboo’s eyes widened as he stared at the jock’s body, unable to look away from the gore.

Maybe my eyes are just playing tricks on me. Ranboo’s mind helpfully supplied. He has to be dead by now.

Then Punz moved again, his leg twitching every so often.

It was then that Ranboo realised they were the only person still at the window. Some classmates were crowded around the bin, others hugging one another and crying, others screaming at one another in their confused panic. The teacher was ordering everyone to stay calm and return to their seats so the authorities could be called but no one listened. Turning his attention back to the window, Ranboo was met by the horrifying sight of Punz now kneeling on the ground, staring blankly at the pool of his own blood. They let out a scream of terror which drew the attention of their classmates and teacher, all of whom rushed back to the window to see what they had witnessed.

Slowly, Punz lifted one knee and firmly planted his foot on the ground. He swayed for a second as if experiencing vertigo before pushing himself up onto both feet and standing up straight. Blood had stopped gushing from the hole in his neck and now just steadily soaked into his once white hoodie, his golden medallion now seared with red. Then Ranboo felt his own blood turn cold as Punz swirled his head to look at the class behind the window. His once icy blue eyes were now a crimson red with veins of charcoal creeping through them like vines. Similar grey veins slithered up his neck and face, giving his skin the impression of being covered by lichen.

In a moment of unadulterated horror, Punz stumbled rapidly towards to window forcing the entire class, Ranboo included, to yell in fear and shuffle backwards. He collided with the glass and let out an animalistic howl, nails screeching as he clawed at the glass like a tiger in a cage.

Three things then happened.

Ranboo’s classmates and teacher booked it for the door, clambering over schoolbags, tables, and chairs in order to reach safety and get as far away from Punz - or whatever it was that looked like him – as fast as possible.

Punz’s sheer strength and football prowess paid off in his favour as he shattered the window, glass flying everywhere including into Ranboo’s skin. They had turned their body to the right in order to try and run from the hailstorm of shards but didn’t make it a single step before the glass pierced the entire left side of their body. They let out a shout of pain and fell to the floor as blood began to well up in the cuts.

Two strong arms grabbed Ranboo’s shoulders and yanked him towards the gaping window. Punz had crawled through while Ranboo was distracted by the window breaking and made his way over to the petrified seventeen-year-old on the linoleum.

Ranboo suddenly felt an immense pain in his right arm and when he looked down, he saw that Punz had sunk his teeth into Ranboo’s skin and was refusing to let go. Ranboo screamed in fear and pain which unfortunately only drew the attention of some more… things. They had been lingering outside the door but now barged in and began assisting Punz.

One bit into Ranboo’s jaw, another onto his torso, two grabbed his right leg and played tug of war with it between their iron grips.

As everything began to fade to black, Ranboo cried for help, hoping that somebody, anybody would save them. In his last moments of life, Ranboo Beloved saw a green-hooded football captain with a broken baseball bat in hand skid into the doorway. He felt nothing but white-hot pain shooting through his body as he heard Dream cry out to him.

“RANBOO NO!”

[im-totally-not-an-alien]

Final Fantasy 7 prompts # 41

1. Gaia is dying and needs energy to heal itself. The problem is that even if Gaia had managed to wipe out all the life it harbors, it still wouldn't be enough.

So she sends out her warriors to different worlds, enticing them to steal magical relics and items to bring back and throw into mako springs where the energy would be absorbed.

Unfortunately, the inhabitants of these worlds aren't very pleased by random people stealing ancient treasures and religious artifacts and running away.

Good god the crossovers.

2. Jenova's point of view

3. Immortal Cloud saving Tifa's great great granddaughter from a creeper while she was walking home at night.

She now has daydreams about the handsome blond angel who saved her...even if no one believed her when she said he had a wing.

4. AVALANCHE is a group of demons/ eldrich abominations who hide from the human world in fear of cruel expirements being preformed on them.

Sephiroth wakes up in the body of a spikey haired blond and after admiring himself and his blue cat eyes in a slab of polished metal, (One likely used in place of a mirror), he set off to explore the tunnel system.

He was soon after approached by a small, and somewhat annoying Wutainese girl. What struck him the most was her slanted pupils and the tiny bat wings on her back. How many of his kind truely existed?

Cloud however, was strait up not having a good time.

The moment he woke up in the familiarity of a human environment he began having a panic attack and then a flashback. Humans took his mothers life. He was lucky that an AVALANCHE cell had raided the lab and rescued him before he met the same fate. Cloud eventually came back to himself to see a man in a red coat petting his hair with a deeply worried expression on his face. Who was he? And why was he calling him "Sephiroth"?

(Also works with those soulmate AUs where they swap bodies or whatever)

5. Genesis tracks down the only remaining boyfriend, the small Chocobo boy that Zack introduced to them.

He was tending to a field of flowers in a dilapidated old church. Strange, he didn't even know Cloud liked flowers.

He decided to make his presence known just after the blond placed a flower crown upon his own head. Thier youngest lover looked a bit sheepish to have been caught, but it was what he said that haunted Genesis.

"Hello, my name's Cloud. Who're you?"

It was like Cloud didn't recognize him.

6. Time travel fic, but Genesis is the protagonist and he freaking lives the loveless play.

...he also kidnapped a certain chocobo cadet but that's besides the point.

7. Sephiroth wakes up in the middle of the night, but instead of getting up to get a glass of water like he usually does, he peers down at a mysterious blond man in his arms.

In his bed.

In one of the most secure buildings on the planet.

Logic would dictate that he should call for backup immediately...but he didn't want to let go of the man. The blond radiated a euphoric feeling of comfort and belonging. Of home.

He snuggled up with the blond and cuddled him till the sun had risen and the blond began to stir...

8. Cloud with shrapnel impaled through his leg has to ride piggyback on Sephiroth while they both fight off eldric monsters that are attacking Gaia.

9. Sephiroth finds AC Cloud passed out in the Midgar wastes and takes him back to the camp. They try to look him up in the database and can't figure out who he is, so they assume he's a cosplayer or something.

Until he opens his eyes.

Featuring Cloud fighting Shinra machines Advent Children style and Genesis being his rival and eventualy one of his best friends.

10. Cloud getting the holy trinity to protect Aerith.

She's so proud of her wierd older brothers.

11. CC Sane Sephiroth wakes up in AC Clouds body while he's out on the road. He takes it pretty well and rides the motorcycle around and interacts with people in different towns. He frankly, enjoys the way he's treated like a person instead of a title. Sure, there's still hero worship, but it's not nearly as bad as it was.

He didn't understand why the shopkeeper gave him a knowing and sympathetic look when he threw out a fake name.

Cloud, on the other hand, destroyed Shinra from the inside withing a day and has taken over as Sephiroth. He exposed all of Shinras dirty secrets and turned everyone against them, and is now making the whole world government go green by force.

He also removed all SOLDIERS and infantry stationed in Wutai and gave them a very charitable peace agreement.

Essentially he fixed everything.

12. Cloud just wanted to sleep in for the day. Why did everyone pick today to come bother him?

13. After the events of Advent Children Zacks ghost started following Cloud around and forcing his blonde to take better care of himself.

14. Cloud was flying when he got caught in a sudden storm...and crashed into an unfamiliar redhead.

15. Cloud and Yuffie were training in Wutai and yuffie accedently popped Cloud in the face with a bamboo.

Then they started walking eachother with bamboo like children and were properly embarrassed when lord Godo showed up with entourage.

It didn't help when they heard a few of them giggle.

[veritied]

ϟ  ━  was  that  WI  “WILKES”  KI-SUN  around  the  leaky  cauldron  ?  they  disapparated  before  i  could  approach  them  !  what  a  pity,  for  they  are  cerebral  and  poised,  but  maybe  it's  best  to  keep  my  distance  because  they  are  also  minacious  and  rancorous.  i  remember  that  they  were  a  SLYTHERIN  back  in  school  but  have  since  made  a  name  for  themselves  as  an  unspeakable.  if  this  alleged  war  came  knocking  on  their  door,  it  is  supposed  that  they  would  FIGHT  FOR  THE  DARK  LORD.  (  demi  woman  &  they  +  them,  she  +  her /  moon  ga - young  /  twenty  four  /  pureblood  ).

hi,  all!  i’m  cc  and  i’m  excited  to  be  here  and  writing  wilkes,  who  is  a  demon  –  but  a  dramatic,  sexy  demon.  i’ll  be  reaching  out  to  plot  with  everyone  eventually  and  again,  i’m  just  super  happy  to  be  here  <3  beneath  is  a  bare  bones  biography  +  some  wanted  plots  i’d  love  to  write  !

extra  links:  pinterest,  task  one  (  stats  ),  application

trigger  warning:  blood  mention.

women  like  you  don’t  have  the  privilege  of  heroism.  you  are  not  carved  from  sea  foam  and  rose  petals,  you  are  instead  made  of  every  thorn  and  blazing  fire  that  brings  as  much  punishment  as  it  does  freedom.  your  mother  brushes  your  hair  when  you  are  as  young  as  five  and  she  teaches  you  of  your  duties  in  this  world.  not  only  are  you  an  heiress,  you  are  made  of  magic  and  prowess  that  your  family  has  always  held.  you  will  always  tip  toward  the  side  of  magic,  but  if  you  choose  to  turn  your  back  on  your  true  heritage,  you  are  still  saddled  with  the  responsibility  of  being  your  father’s  daughter.  some  women  are  born  into  silk  and  delicacy,  you  are  taught  from  the  moment  you  claw  your  way  into  world  how  to  land  on  your  feet.  you  are  not  given  the  opportunity  to  grow  into  a  rose  ––  and  in  the  grand  scheme  of  life  and  death,  your  only  role  is  terror.

with  that  knowledge,  you  are  torn  away  from  your  family  before  you  can  ever  be  given  the  same  opportunities  as  your  cousins.  you  are  better  than  that  school,  settled  into  enemy  land,  filled  with  peers  that  won’t  challenge  you.  pushed  out  of  the  arms  of  safety  and  love  (  cold,  harsh  love  from  your  mother  –  warm,  enveloping  love  from  your  mother  ),  you  land  in  the  palms  of  a  woman  with  eyes  so  blue  they  scare  you  in  the  dead  of  night.  you  are  to  attend  hogwarts,  instead,  the  finest  institute  in  the  world.  in  korean  script,  you  write  to  your  parents  and  stain  parchment  with  tears  that  you  shouldn’t  cry  and  you  beg  them  to  bring  you  home  –  or  at  least,  send  you  north.  what’s  so  wrong  with  durmstrang?  you  write.  what’s  so  terrible  about  the  beauxbatons  academy?  you  ask.  you  aren’t  given  an  answer  that  you  can  understand  at  your  young  age,  but  one  day  you  will  understand  that  the  people  here  fight  the  same  battles  as  you  do  back  home.  their  views  align  with  yours  and  it  is  better  for  you  to  be  knee  deep  in  war,  it  will  only  prepare  you  for  what  will  await  you  at  home.

hogwarts  knows  you  as  an  english  name  that  your  parents  refuse  to  learn.  i  chose  this  name  for  you,  do  you  not  want  it?  your  father  writes  and  you  send  a  letter  back  with  a  sneer  ––  this  is  the  name  i  choose  for  myself,  do  you  not  appreciate  how  i  carved  myself  anew?  you  take  most  after  your  mother,  though  they  do  not  know  her.  they  only  know  you  –  cruel,  caught  in  a  continuous  lament,  always  lurking  behind  a  barbaric  event.  you  are  an  omen  of  a  girl,  a  terror  of  a  beast  and  you  are  only  known  for  what  you  do  and  what  you  lack  (  empathy,  sympathy,  kindness  ).  but,  you  are  the  sole  result  of  sovereignty  –  your  veins  are  pure  and  filled  with  magic  that  serves  you  well.  women  like  you  don’t  have  the  privilege  of  a  choice,  after  all,  and  when  you  are  swayed  to  sides,  it  is  obvious  which  you  will  fall  under.  beauty  is  cruel,  purity  is  evil.

you  struggle  after  your  graduation  –  you  teeter  between  east  and  west.  in  the  east,  your  family  awaits  your  return.  there  is  a  life  for  you  in  the  budding  city,  in  the  elegance  and  luxury  of  your  family’s  fortune.  but  here,  there  is  a  cause  that  you  have  already  pledged  yourself  to.  it  is  a  battle  that  occupies  your  mind  and  your  heart  and  your  lungs  as  you  start  a  new  life  among  your  peers  and  fellow  wixes.  you  write  home  a  year  after  your  graduation  and  announce  that  you  won’t  return.  yet.  in  the  script  that  you  have  memorized  most,  you  promise  that  you  will  come  home  some  day,  but  not  before  this  war  is  fought.  you  tell  your  parents  not  to  be  ashamed,  to  be  proud  of  who  you  have  grown  into  and  to  watch  with  pride  as  you  do  what  they  would  have,  had  they  come  instead  of  you.  and,  you  live.  you  are  a  wicked  girl,  but  it  is  who  you  are.

wanted  connections:

unrequited  love  ––  i’m  just  a  sucker  for  it  –  the  kind  that  she  didn’t  even  see  coming,  the  kind  that  made  them  wake  up  in  a  cold  sweat  and  scream  into  their  pillow.  wilkes  doesn’t  –  get  attached.  ever.  yet,  they  still  sneak  glances  at  you  when  they  think  you’re  not  looking.  she  laughs  a  little  too  hard  at  your  jokes.  she  isn’t  as  mean  to  you  as  she  used  to  be.  they’ve  watched  you  move  on  without  them  and  there’s  nothing  they  can  do  about  it.

finest  friend(s)  ––  the  very  people  that  they  met  during  their  first  year  at  hogwarts  and  never  moved  on  from.  attached  at  the  hip,  she  is  always  showing  up  with  gifts  and  stories  of  her  life,  memories  of  the  old  days,  everything  in  between.  there  is  nobody  else  that  wilkes  would  really  stand  up  for  in  the  way  that  they  do  for  you  and  you  can  always  feel  her  loyalty.

wilkes  assigner  ––  in  my  app  i  said  it  was  a  boy  but  ignore  it.  the  wix  that  she  first  introduced  herself  to  and  you  said  “wilkes?”  and  she  was  like  “yeah.”  i  just  think  it’d  be  a  fun  connection  to  have  and  maybe  you  never  let  them  forget  it  and  they  always  roll  their  eyes,  but  they  don’t  actually  mind  it  as  much  as  they  claim  to.

unlikely  friends  ––  as  in,  the  nice  wix  to  ...  the  wilkes.  you’re  a  bit  on  the  softer  side,  a  kinder  soul  that  doesn’t  seem  to  mind  the  faults  and  terror  of  wilkes  and  they  are  entirely  grateful  for  it  –  even  if  they  don’t  show  it.  you  balance  each  other  out  in  a  way  that  just  feels  natural,  nothing  is  forced  and  she  is  (  a  little  bit  of  )  a  better  person  from  it.

anti(s)  ––  i.e.  full  time  haters  <3  maybe  you’re  too  much  like  wilkes,  maybe  you’re  too  different,  maybe  you’re  just  good  and  you  know  that  she’s  not.  either  way,  you  see  each  other  in  public  and  you  glare  at  each  other  across  the  room  before  getting  into  an  embarrassingly  dramatic  argument.  could  also  be  a  significant  annoyance.

actual  enemies  ––  as  in  much  worse  than  a  hater,  you  cannot  stand  wilkes  one  single  bit  and  your  arguments  are  less  dramatic  and  more  intense.  there  is  real  hatred  between  the  two  of  you  and  a  simple  ‘sorry’  isn’t  going  to  fix  it.

[pangzi]

hahaha omg so true about not being nhs. sadly we won’t get special dage treatment. but omggg would totally join your all ladies sect!! hold up. i am living for your story about using the untamed to talk to the girl you like. it worked??? i’m super happy for you hahaha and that is so cute ahhh. would love to hear more about that if you’re willing to share (cos i’m a romantic at heart, really and truly). glad to hear about your classes and subbing. (1/4)

i was just telling a friend recently how i admire people who translate and sub contents for us because i can only imagine the work and time you guys put into it! and i’ve watched some of your subbed videos from buzhidao subs (still losing my mind that you’re part of the amazing people who give us quality content) aksdhkal thank you so much t_t. good luck for your thesis! i’m sure subtitling the untamed adds an extra motivating factor to it hahaha. as for me, my friend recommended it around april and we were just at the beginning of lockdown. i didn’t get it at first but i was determined because i was promised soulmates hahaha. the biggest thing is that it really helped me keep sane during the pandemic. i’ve been on years-long hiatus from fandom and tumblr before the untamed and this gave me a new breath of life, so to speak. (gosh do i ramble, apologies for what i think will be a series of asks in your inbox now hahahaha).  anywaaay, for your questions: which couples do you ship? can you rec me some of your fave fanfictions, please? hope you have a lovely weekend ahead of you! - cc. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

yes yes the more the merrier! so sick of men! just imagine a sect, only ladies... will most likely grow to be the strongest one of all because no men to hold us back! 

Hahah so she’s my classmate and at one point before class I was watching a drama before class and she asked me which one it was i think? and after she told me she was watching the donghua and then i was like hey i’m watching hte live action! and then... i started sending her mdzs tumblr posts over messenger i think until i got her tumblr? (i kept reblogging them and sending them from MY blog as a hint for her to follow me gdfjgdlfgdfk) just to have a reason to talk to her jkgdfkg and eventually that just turned into sending flirty posts as in haha jk unless 👀 until she went actually i’m not kidding and i was like... neither am i 👀 corona has been keeping us apart but things going well! :D 

Thank you for watching our videos, even if you only watched a few it means a lot!! We really enjoy the work and we keep it casual, and low pressure so it stays fun :D The fact that it’s about the untamed does help a bit but still... thesis ew haha! 

I think everyone not understanding/really liking cql in the beginning is like a universal fandom experience at this point lmao! The Untamed helping us all through lockdown... the power this drama holds!! 

Please don’t apologize for rambling please ramble on I enjoy it!!! 

Oof my ships uhh... My absolute favourite mdzs ship is Nielan! I also really love Sangcheng, Mingcheng and Mingxicheng... me having faves? pft no

Can I rec some of my OWN fics? Because I’m GONNA! These are some of my fave things I’ve written. I hope you like Nielan too... 

Man wakes up after surgery and hits on his husband

Otome gay

Flower

“Just a stache“ 

I would also highly recommend any Ming(xi)cheng fic @bloody-bee-tea has has written because I love every single one of them with my entire existence!  Another fic I really love is Little Warrior by @englishbunnyrocks​ it’s nmj with a cat is there any better content in this world? no. 

What are some of your favourite ships and fics? Have you ever written fanfic yourself??

AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND TOO!!!

[colosseumed]

from:           EURYDICE     ›               is  this  the  path  you  want? from:           EURYDICE     ›               i  never  returned,  don’t  you  want  to? from:           EURYDICE     ›               or  is  the  road  you’ve  always  known  you’d  take?

not  to  be  the  most  annoying  person  ever,  but  too  late,  i’m  cc  &  i  love  the  hunger  games.  if  you  saw  me  writing  my  own  syot  fanfic  when  i  was  thirteen,  no  you  didn’t  </3  anyway,  einar  is  a  born  &  bred  career  from  district  two,  if  you  see  me  comparing  him  to  cato,  yes  <3  his  whole  thing  is  he’s  mostly  quiet  but  he  will  cause  problems  on  purpose.  i  don’t  have  any  stats  or  anything  BUT  i  have  wc  @  the  end  of  the  intro  so  if  you  want  to  just  scroll  all  the  way  down,  do  it  i  dare  you.

 ❛           𝗮𝗶𝗿  𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺  𝗮𝗶𝗿     ›     𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐑     .  

[ NAM JOOHYUK, CIS MAN, HE / HIM. ]    introducing einar gallowind, TRIBUTE of the 74th hunger games, representing district 2. my sources say that they are twenty - five, & that they’re pretty handy with weaponry. wonder if that will do any good in the arena ? anyways, caesar says you can’t miss them, because they remind everyone of the eerie calm before the storm — the trees shouldn’t be standing this still, echoing footsteps that near hiding prey, a haunting drag of a blade against the ground, forbidden tears and fears that rear their faces in the stillness of the night & a rotting sunflower field abandoned by a once peaceful caretaker.

 ❛           𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗸  𝗶𝘀  𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲     ›     𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒     .    

blood  tw.

the  darkness  is  empty  –  but  it’s  home;  can’t  you  remember  walking  home  with  nothing  but  faith  on  your  back?  with  bloodied  bandages  wrapped  around  your  fleshy  palms  &  tape  around  your  brittle  ankles,  gingerly  smelling  the  quarries  as  your  dream  gets  less  &  less  likely.  &  home  –  what  you  call  home,  the  dimmed  lights,  the  absent  parents,  the  fading  colors  –  home  was  really  never  home,  was  it?  you  chose  your  path,  didn’t  you?  named  for  a  fearsome  warrior,  exterior  made  of  marble  &  blood  earned  arrogance,  what  would  they  say  if  they  saw  the  empty  glass  interior?  it’s  fragile,  make  sure  you  don’t  break  it  before  your  time.

 ❛           𝘁𝗵𝗲  𝗺𝗼𝗼𝗻'𝘀  𝗴𝗼𝗻𝗲    ›     𝐅𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐒     .

                              CHAPTER I.  

full  name  .  einar  seraph  gallowind nickname(s)  /  alias(es)  /   title(s)  .  tribute  of  the  74th  hunger  games,  tbd. age  /  dob  .  twenty  -  five  /  march  2 hometown  .  district  2. current  location  .  the  capitol status  .  alive  for  now  ig. specialty  .  weaponry gender .  cis  gendered  man pronouns .  he  /  him  . orientation  .  bisexual  ,  grayromantic occupation  .  career  trainee  /  tribute face  claim  .  nam  joo  hyuk

                              CHAPTER  II.  

height  .  six  feet  ,  two  inches  /  190  cm build .  the  build  of  someone  who’s  been  training  his  whole  life  –  tall,  broad,  well-built  &  toned.  his  limbs  are  muscular  &  lean,  his  torso  is  well  toned  &  he  keeps  in shape  with  daily  training. tattoos  .  none piercings  .  none scars  .  small,  3cm  scar  on  his  upper  left  lip. hair .  dark,  just  a  shade  lighter  than  black.  kept  short,  cut  often  by  a  family  chosen  stylist  from  the  capitol  –  these  days,  styled  specifically  to  help  him  look  more  visually  appealing  to  the  general  public  in  hopes  he’ll  gain  more  favor. eyes  .  the  same  shade  as  his  hair  &  generally,  has  always  been  told  they’re  off  putting.  inherited  from  his  mother,  he’s  got  the  same  eyes  that  can  easily  put  people  at  unease  –  cold,  soulless,  harsh  –  he’s  got  the  gaze  of  a  basilisk  but  he  often  doesn’t  realize  how  often  he  does  it. clothing  style  .  plain  &  basic  so  he  may  be  styled  however  someone  else  wants.  his  own  style  is  a  mix  of  darks  &  neutrals,  usually  comfortable  clothes  that  he  can  always  go  running  in  or  do  a  quick  spar  session  in. usual  expression  .  stoic  –  maybe,  too  stoic.  often  emotionless  with  a  lifeless  stare,  he’s  always  been  more  of  a  silent  statue  type  –  right  down  to  his  resting  expression.  it’s  uneasy,  the  way  he’s  clearly  alive  but  could  easily  blend  in  with  the  grand  statues  at  the  most  expensive  of  museums. speech  .  rarely  heard,  but  always  remembered.  einar’s  reserved  his  speech  for  only  the  necessary  moments  –  interviews,  reviews,  conversations  (  that  he  deems  alright,  if  he  doesn’t  find  interest,  it  isn’t  uncharacteristic  of  him  to  just  walk  away  mid-sentence  ).  when  he  speaks,  he  commands  attention,  inherited  from  his  father  who’s  always  known  how  to  work  a  crowd.  einar  speaks  well,  he’s  charismatic  &  equable  even  if  he  doesn’t  seem  it,  great  at  manipulating  crowds  but  he  chooses  often  not  to. distinguishing  features  .  his  tall  stature,  a  scar  shaped  birthmark  on  the  base  of  his  right  thumb,  the  actual  scar  on  his  lip.

                              CHAPTER  III.  

(  +  )  positive .  intuitive,  erudite,  striving,  benevolent (  -  )  negative  .  hubristic,  arrogant,  imperious,  haughty moral  alignment  .  true  neutral. likes  .  the  hunger  games,  most  weapons,  waking  up  extremely  early  so  he  can  have  time  for  himself,  being  alone,  staying  up  extra  late  so  he  can  have  time  for  himself,  the  wintertime,  icy  winds  that  bite  to  the  bone,  the  smell  of  beef  roast  i  won’t  explain,  slipping  into  shoes  that  fit  just  right,  being  in  the  capitol  when  visiting  his  father’s  side  of  the  family,  meditating  &  pretending  to  levitate  i  won’t  explain  either. dislikes  .  most  other  districts,  most  capitolites  idk  why,  tributes  who  don’t  even  try  (  like  what’s  the  point  ),  the  scorching  heat,  humidity,  victors  who’re  sad  (  get  over  it?  ),  corn,  artificial  food  but  what  can  you  really  do,  the  smell  of  the  quarries  from  district  two,  victor’s  village  cause  he  doesn’t  live  there,  hospitals  because  they’re  ugly. quirks  .  has  a  silver  heirloom  coin  that’s  been  passed  down  from  generation  to  generation  that  he’ll  flip  &  weave  through  his  fingers,  can  stand  /  sit  /  stay  still  for  hours  at  a  time  without  moving  a  muscle,  will  get  up  in  the  middle  of  the  night  to  stare  out  a  window  &  ponder. hobbies  .  training  restlessly  because  he  doesn’t  really  know  what  else  to  do  anymore,  twirling  whatever  blade  he  has  in  his  hand  because  he  can,  wine  tasting  with  his  father,  running  &  sprinting,  also  swimming,  watching  designer  shows  &  learning  how  to  make  clothes  because  of  his  mother.

❛           𝗼𝘂𝗿  𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱     ›     𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐋𝐄     .

trigger  warnings : blood,  injury,  

life  has  been  easy  for  you  –  you  can’t  deny  what  is  fact.  einar  gallowind,  descended  from  a  bloodline  of  gold;  it’s  always  been  fated  for  you  that  you’d  end  up  doing  something  great.  if  victory  isn’t  yours  to  grab,  you’ll  still  be  remembered  (  and  after  all,  isn’t  that  what  matters  most?  ).  your  father,  reinhardt  gallowind  of  the  capitol  –  he’s  a  former  broadcaster,  a  charismatic  man  on  television  who  sways  the  entirety  of  panem  with  his  words  &  charm.  he’s  a  dangerous  kind  of  evil,  one  that  seeps  into  your  own  blood,  &  you  learn  very  early  on  that  your  father  isn’t  the  same  evil  as  the  figures  that  loom  over  panem  –  he’s  a  sly  kind  of  evil.  his  words  sway  the  capitol,  he  decides  who  lives  &  who  dies  based  on  who  he  chooses  to  praise,  his  smile  is  as  sinister  as  it  is  warm,  you  witness  it  first  hand.

your  mother  is  from  district  two,  her  last  name  carries  weight  in  the  district  but  she  is  nothing  in  the  capitol.  lavender  goldheart  is  a  sweet  girl  from  a  sweet  family,  but  she  is  the  same  kind  of  evil  as  your  father.  she  is  upturned  noses  at  the  poor,  laughing  at  the  deaths  of  innocents  broadcasted  on  a  far  -  too  -  big  screen,  sending  gifts  to  the  already  privileged  tributes  of  a  game  nobody  should  partake  in.  she’s  the  kind  of  evil  that  attracts  your  father  &  you,  you  are  a  product  of  two  evils.  you  are  raised  in  a  district  that  your  father  chose  to  move  to,  you  hold  your  first  blade  when  you  are  five,  you  maim  your  first  opponent  at  seven,  you  learn  how  to  keep  your  composure  from  a  socialite  &  a  broadcaster.  two  evils  of  the  same  variety,  they  teach  you  to  become  worse  than  they  could  ever  be.

you  grow  arrogant.  to  the  citizens  of  district  two,  to  your  classmates  at  the  academy  you  are  ruthless  &  cold,  a  career  tribute  of  the  upmost  class  –  what  everyone  should  aspire  to  be.  you  excel  in  weaponry,  your  brute  strength  gives  you  an  upper  hand  in  hand  to  hand  combat,  &  while  you  lack  in  survival  skills,  you  exceed  in  making  sure  you  don’t  have  to  survive  long  enough  to  need  them.  bold  warrior,  you  are  a  deadly  silent  that  puts  your  classmates  at  unease,  they’re  only  friends  with  you  because  they’re  scared  of  you  &  that’s  what  your  parents  want.  they  want  a  victor  for  a  son,  you  want  victory  to  have  parents.  because  they’re  never  around,  not  really.  

the  lights  are  always  off  when  you  get  home,  you  have  enough  money  in  the  world  but  will  your  parents  even  show  up  when  you  ultimately  volunteer?  what  a  sad  story,  you  suppose  as  you  ponder  it,  poor  rich  boy,  his  parents  never  loved  him  enough  so  he  decided  he’d  gain  their  love  with  blood.  it  makes  you  laugh,  almost,  as  you  watch  the  years  pass  by.  you  watch  the  games,  you’re  hungry  for  blood  as  you  watch  victors  come  &  go  –  you  memorize  their  names,  their  stats,  their  victories  –  it  betters  you  as  a  trainee,  you  suppose.  your  training  continues  &  you  outgrow  your  classmates  (  you  are  the  best,  einar,  nobody  else  will  say  it  to  you,  but  you  know  ),  you’re  worthy  of  the  games.

but,  you  are  but  a  boy.  you  sit  on  the  eve  of  your  twenty-fifth  birthday  with  nobody  for  company  but  yourself,  you  have  the  riches  of  the  world  but  you’ve  got  nothing.  you  are  the  owner  of  a  heart  that  longs  to  love  (  to  be  loved,  ),  you  have  goodness  in  your  bones  even  if  you’re  convinced  you’ve  always  been  built  for  evil,  you’ve  never  had  the  ability  to  access  it.  the  world  your  were  born  in  was  always  against  you,  the  odds  were  never  in  your  favor  –  that’s  the  lesson  you’ve  refused  to  learn,  but  you  will  –  eventually.

❛           𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿,  𝗮𝗻𝗱  𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿     ›     𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃  𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒     .

from  district  two,  anyone  he  might’ve  trained  with,  anyone  who  might  know  his  parents,  anyone  who  he  might’ve  gone  to  school  with,  anyone  he  might’ve  sparred  with,  anyone  his  family  (  either  the  gallowinds  or  the  goldhearts  )  might’ve  wronged  at  one  point  or  another.

scenario  one,  a  tribute  that  he  finds  he  ends  up  caring  for  –  he’s  outwardly  cold  &  very  much  skilled,  top  of  his  game,  trained  his  whole  life  &  your  muse  is ...  not,  but  einar’s  like  well  damn  what  am  i  gonna  do  protect  this  tribute  with  my  life?  absolutely  not  but  i’ll  make  sure  they  at  least  get  out  of  the  bloodbath.

scenario  two,  another  tribute  but  he  doesn’t  care  much  for  them  at  all.  to  be  fair,  einar  doesn’t  care  for  most  people  but  he  knows  them  by  name  because  maybe  there’s  a  rivalry  there  or  maybe  they  just  don’t  get  along  or  maybe  einar  did  the  thing  where  he  just  turns  on  his  heel  &  walked  away  mid-convo.  anyway,  on  sight  means  on  sight.

for  other  tributes:  someone  who  isn’t  a  fan  of  the  careers,  someone  who  has  a  Bone  to  Pick,  someone  who  einar  will  manipulate  &  lead  on  to  k-word,  an  unlikely/reluctant  alliance,  a  likely  alliance,  someone  he  stares  at  just  to  make  them  uneasy,  someone  who  wants  to  get  him  to  say  more  than  hey  what’s  up.

for  victors:  a  ‘never  meet  your  heroes’  cliche  where  he  admires  them  but  they  said  no  thanks,  someone  who  he  thinks  is  lame  cause  they  didn’t  “deserve  their  win”,  someone  who  he  thinks  is  lame  cause  they  can’t  handle  their  win,  someone  who  he  thinks  is  cool  cause  they  could  handle  their  win,  someone  who  doesn’t  like  him  because  he  reeks  of  arrogance,  someone  who  likes  him  because  he  reeks  of  arrogance.

for  citizens:  um.  we’ll  figure  it  out.  please  love  me.

[migleefulmoments]

Please, please, please publish Abby’s new diatribe as I have apparently been blocked (or perhaps just don’t know enough about tumblr to find it). I’m dying to see what she worked on for two months to justify her existence!

Anonymous said: Oh dear, looks like Abby’s family didn’t get her help after all, a lost cause then, what an absolute waste of a life. It’s actually sad. A shame her family didn’t get her help

Le sigh...she is not well. She hasn’t learned one thing while she’s been away and she still has the exact same grievances- mostly about how much she hates Mia and how much she feels sorry for herself because we aren’t lapping up her fantasy and showering her with adoration for being the leader of the ccship. Her main complaint, the reason she popped back in to write the same tired complaints and criticisms, is that she’s tired of people blaming Darren for the ccsituation. It’s always about her love for ccDarren and her need to absolve him of all responsibility for all of the things the cc fandom dislike about him and his life. IT’S ALWAYS MIA’S FAULT and the defacto fandom leaders aren’t reminding everyone “it’s never Darren’s fault” and “always blame Mia’s”.

She lashes out to criticize the “hate blogs” but ultimately she blames Ricky and Mia for EVERYTHING including the “attack on her family” (which of course, was NOT an attack on her family, it was a plea for her family to get her some help).  She claims “they” tried to shut her up and then lists all the evidence that “they” tried to end her blog:  HER copyright strikes (lots of us have one) and the “hate” blogs before listing individual grievances against several bloggers, amping up the grievance for dramatic effect and making it seem like they were coordinated, well-planned attacks against her. She negates her own part e.g. I published the photo ONLY after she dared me to several times. All of this because  “If this is what they were willing to do to me, a mere fan, imagine what they are well to do to him, their absolute life sources?” “They” aka Mia and Ricky.  

I found it hard to read. She’s not in a good place.  

***************************************  

Hello CCLand!  Have you missed me?  I know I have missed you all.  This post is not me coming back, frankly, I still have not decided how I want to navigate the future, but for the past 2 months all of this has been festering inside, so I need to post and make a few points.

First and foremost, I want to say that I am incredibly proud of my blog. I spent 5 years building a relationship with my readers and trying to provide a voice for 2 people who have been marginalized and frankly had their voices largely muted. I will never apologize for this or feel bad about it. Nor will I feel bad about pointing a finger at people that I know are truly evil.  

I am far from perfect and I admit, I made 2 massive errors.  I overshared because I was naive and never thought the information would be used against me.  And I did not pay enough attention to the hate blogs and their threats.

This was a blog that I started when I first learned about CC and frankly it grew out of love and a need to try to bring justice to a person that is absolutely a victim of a completely antiquated and abusive system.  Further, I don’t THINK D is closeted, I KNOW D is closeted.  And I have substantial facts to back up that statement.  I never intended to become the most read CC blog or to meets so many wonderful an amazing people that I admire, but that is what happened and that has given me great joy.

But with the good comes the bad, and what happened to me is absolutely sick and depraved.  And I am writing this post in hopes that someone will read it and see just how fucked up the behavior of a few “fans” has been towards me and to help them to extend this to what has been done to D and C.  Please do not feel sad for me, or send me sympathy, it is not my point.  But I hope that perhaps it will inspire some of you to be more active and to fight a little harder as I try to navigate the harassment that occurred to my family.

Pretty much since I started to write, I have been receiving hate, something to be expected when you join a fandom like this. But at some point, it became much more frequent and took a turn from manageable hate to harassment and bullying.  In October of 2017, I got my first ask with my full name and from that day forward there has been an active attempt to try to bullying me off the internet. Now ask why that is?  I am just a fan, with what most think is a crazy belief, with a relatively small following. I do not and have not tagged the players nor do I contact them directly. I have never been anything but incredibly polite to  D and C, and frankly I have ignored M whenever I have been in her presence because she is not worthy of my time or energy. I have never reached out to them over SM to make one statement about fandom. So why such an effort to silence my voice?  Especially if it is as insignificant as they claim?  

They tried deleting my blog, that failed. They tried with copyright infringements but I got smarter about making sure to post links.  So, what did they do?  They started with vicious attacks on my character on their hate blogs. Posting my full name and image.  Analyzing every word i wrote, desperately trying to debunk me, stating that i had severe mental health issues.  Tagged C, W, and A/lla to warn them about my presence at a book signing.  They stalked my friends and I at a festival, made false accusations, and published a photo. This meant that had to seek us out, locate where we were sitting and wait for a moment when they could get an image that they could twist to their favor.  That is insane. And there is no way to twist it to say its normal or expected.

But that apparently was enough harassment.  They threatened my work and my career.  Next, they started to stalk my family on the internet and use a devastating injury and a charity to harass and bully my family to the point that I did have to make the painful decision to not just stop posting but to protect my blog. This is completely vile and inexcusable behavior.  And the fact that it was not stopped, is a strong statement about the people clearly in control.

Why am I recounting? Because I want people to wake up and stop blaming D for every twist and turn.  If this is what they were willing to do to me, a mere fan, imagine what they are well to do to him, their absolute life sources? I am just another body left behind in the carnage, D is their source of money and fame. And not just his team and his “bride” but all of the people that have ridden his coattails to have name recognition.  

I wish people would realize this is not choose your own adventure book, D is a human who has been held against his will due to an enormous amount of power they clearly wield over him. How do you not see that if he could, he would end this?  This has not been about him being straight in so long, straight is how they control him and how they are able to make M relevant.  

And if you though this was a choice, how were you not woken up in the days following his dad’s death? I would guess not 48 hours after he buried his father, he was dragged from his mother’s home, forced to play dress up and pose for a ridiculous, cruel and inhumane set of pics.  D has lied about many things, but never about his parents, he has always been nothing but reverent when he speaks about them and his love and respect for them is clear.

Clearly, I have not gone anywhere, and I am still watching and reading every word. I have actually been incredibly proud of D during the majority of press for HW.  He has made so many statements that are a foundation for the truth, including telling us that young actors do things that they later learn to regret, telling us that HW has not changed, and stating that the person you see has a story we will never know.  

The press to legitimize and canonize M has been laughable and beyond transparent. It is so obvious this is on his list of required duties and the fact that they did not pause if for 1 week when his dad died is absolute proof that this is not a choice.

I do have to laugh at the irony of the d “quote” about fans being mean to his poor “wife” (that he himself has called a big girl).  So it is ok to bully a fan off the internet to the point that they stalked and harassed my family (and it does not matter if his was led by his team, her, her friends, or a fan in her name), but it is not ok for a small handful of fans to discuss the sad reality and point the finger at the truth?

Anyhow, this got way too long, but it has all been building up inside.  This blog was  such a massive part of my life and I miss it and you more than words can say. I encourage all of you to keep supporting these incredible men, I have no doubt they are worth it. I do think they next few months will bring about change, but what they change is, we still don’t know. I hope that D wins sooner than later. I am not certain how much longer he can be expected to sustain this weight.   If you reached this point, thank you for reading.    I am going back to my quiet corner now.  

[isabeaued]

           hello  ,  world  .  i’m  so  stupid  &  it  took  me  too  long  to  write  this  &  it  ?  still  didn’t  turn  out  good  anyway  ,  so  that’s  just  where  i’m  at  .  i’m  cc  ,  nineteen  from  the  cst  w  she  /  her  pronouns  &  this  is  isabeau  ,  who’s  a  brand  new  muse  that  i’m  ?  already  loving  sm  &  i  can’t  to  develop  her  here  ,  i  think  she  deserves  a  little  growth  fjdslkfjdslfsj  .  but  please  like  this  &  i’ll  come  to  you  ,  or  let  me  know  if  you  prefer  d*scord  !

                                                               stats  /  pinterest

*  muse  3  seems  like  isabeau  hwang  ,  a  cis  female  from  edinburgh  who  graduated  from  oxford  with  the  class  of  2019  .  apparently  she  is  a  twenty  -  one year  old  economics  &  business  administration  student  at  st.  astor  ,  so  they  must  be  pretty  smart  ,  or  just  pretty  damn  lucky  .  i  heard  they’re  a  taurus  &  quite  hedonistic  &  gallant  ,  which  kinda  makes  sense  ,  but  i  also  hear  that  they  can  be  habituated  &  fleeting  ,  which  puts  me  off  a  bit  ,  to  be  honest  .  what  do  you  think  ? i’m  not  really  sure  how  i  feel  about  them  .  the  fact  that  they  resemble  jeon  heejin  sorta  helps  ,  though  .  three  things  that  immediately  come  to  mind  whenever  i  see  them  are  hiding  hot  tears  while  being  ankle  deep  in  ocean  water  while  clad  in  expensive  silk  ,  champagne  stained  dresses ,  &  redacted  ;  but  keep  that  last  one  between  us  ,  yeah  ?  

𝓲.     𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕘𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥   .

birth   name   :   hwang  soo  min  current   name   :   isabeau  hwang nickname(s) :   not  a  nickname  person  . age   :  twenty  -  one gender   /   pronouns :  cis  gendered   female   /   she  /  her  /  hers orientation   :  pansexual   /   panromantic hometown   :   edinburgh  ,  scotland faceclaim :  jeon   heejin muse  :  3  ,  who  is  stuck  in  an  arranged  engagement  .

fun facts  :   daughter  of  two  business  moguls  who  combined  their  talents  &  business  into  one  big  company  (  HHW  –  a  global  financing  company  )  ,  was  hauled  all  over  the  world  as  a  kid  but  still  sports  a  SCOTTISH  ACCENT  ,  annoyingly  good  at  drawing  &  art  –  but  it’s  just  a  hobby  ,  has  a  closet  full  of  designer  &  still  prefers  ratty  old  clothes  that  smell  like  home  ,  always  smells  like  a  mix  of  jasmine  &  orange  blossom  –  but  doesn’t  wear  perfume  ,  skipped  a  year  of  school  &  was  usually  a  year  younger  than  her  peers  in  her  class  ,  currently  spiraling  VERY  badly  .

aesthetic  :  hiding  hot  tears  while  being  ankle  deep  in  ocean  water  while  clad  in  expensive  silk  ,  waking  up  alone  on  cold  silk  sheets  despite  a  full  list  of  contacts  ,  floating  face  down  in  an  infinity  pool  to  see  how  long  she  can  hold  her  breath  ,  the  wind  picking  up  raven  locks  that  blow  around  her  face  as  she  regains  her  control  ,  an  ever  present  lump  in  her  throat  that  she’ll  never  get  to  rid  herself  of  ,  a  cursed  engagement  ring  she’s  already  thrown  over  a  cliff  just  for  it  to  reappear  on  her  finger  &  dimming  the  sun  with  every  step  taken  toward  a  future  she  can’t  escape  .

playlist  :  pan!c  by  audrey  mika  ,  to  die  for  by  sam  smith  ,  cautious  by  max  leone  ,  modern  loneliness  by  lauv  ,  kings  &  queens  by  ava  max  ,  wicked  game  by  grace  carter  .

𝓲𝓲.     𝕔𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕝𝕖   .

             oh ,  how  the  birds  sang  the  morning  of  her  birth  .  with  aphrodite  &  hera  as  witness  ,  soo  min  is  born  with  a  strong  cry  ,  her  mother  exhausted  after  an  extensive  labor  .  the  first  thing  her  mother  does  is  cry  –  because  she  didn’t  want  a  daughter  .  what  a  cruel  world  to  be  born  in  as  a  female  ,  what  a  barbaric  father  to  be  raised  by  as  a  daughter  .  but  ,  soo  min  is  born  &  she  is  blessed  by  the  ANGELS  ;  the  cherubs  that  linger  over  her  as  she  grows  from  baby  to  toddler  to  child  .  hair  in  pigtails  ,  soo  min  adopts  the  name  isabeau  from  a  caretaker  –  a  nanny  in  gray  who  speaks  with  an  accent  she’ll  soon  acquire  for  herself  .  her  parents  try  to  teach  her  how  to  drop  the  scottish  ,  but  it’s  her  mother  tongue  –  if  they  didn’t  want  her  speaking  that  way  ,  they  should’ve  stepped  in  &  raised  her  themselves  .  but  isabeau  knows  ,  even  at  a  young  age  ,  that  her  parents  are  busy  .  mother  is  starting  careers  ,  sending  young  stars  onto  stages  while  father  is  content  with  giving  out  loans  to  the  most  corrupt  of  companies  .  she’s  seven  ,  blowing  out  her  birthday  candles  while  her  father  makes  a  deal  to  give  money  to  the  devil  –  one  million  dollars  to  destroy  a  couple  of  lives  .  is  there  a  price  on  life  ?  yes  ,  it’s  the  first  thing  she  remembers  .

             but  not  even  the  devil  can  dim  the  starlight  that  shines  within  her  .  pure  sunlight  ,  isabeau  is  raised  with  a  quiet  glee  in  her  system  .  she  skips  down  sidewalks  clad  in  yellow  dresses  ,  her  hair  is  pulled  back  by  ribbons  while  she  holds  hands  with  her  nanny  ,  excited  about  her  life  &  everything  the  world  has  to  offer  .  the  older  she  gets  ,  the  less  she  smiles  ,  the  harder  it  becomes  to  see  the  sunshine  through  the  gray  clouds  called  in  by  her  parents  .  her  mother  works  with  father  now  ,  they  swindle  the  poor  with  promises  of  a  better  future  ,  they  invest  in  corporations  who  shoot  bullets  at  the  atmosphere  ,  they  dip  their  hands  in  blood  as  long  as  it  gives  them  a  hefty  paycheck  .  isabeau  lacks  the  same  fire  she  used  to  equip  ,  scarred  &  hurt  by  parents  who  tried  to  teach  a  rabbit  to  be  a  wolf  .  she  goes  to  sleep  with  her  nanny  stroking  her  hair  ,  crying  over  lives  ruined  by  money  ,  greed  &  corruption  .  isabeau  is  GOOD  at  heart  ,  she  wants  the  sun  to  shine  on  everyone  that  walks  the  earth  .  so  while  she  puts  on  a  mask  ,  becomes  a  predator  the  way  they  want  her  to  be  ,  isabeau  never  loses  her  soft  heart  .  

             &  they  should’ve  chosen  their  wish  carefully  .  every  wish  has  a  price  .  she  can  maneuver  her  way  around  a  conference  room  before  she’s  eighteen  ,  can  close  a  deal  with  men  who  look  down  on  her  before  twenty  -  one  .  her  words  masked  with  honey  while  her  parents  look  on  with  pride  ,  unaware  that  she’s  not  on  their  side  .  deals  she  makes  that  harm  the  company  ,  but  nobody  will  know  until  it’s  too late  .  isabeau  is  talented  ,  manipulative  for  the  good  –  not  for  the  army  of  evil  she  was  raised  in  .  then  ,  slapped  across  the  face  on  the  day  of  her  graduation  with  an  announcement  .  marriage  ,  at  twenty  -  three  when  she  finishes  her  master’s  ,  an  engagement  ring  she  doesn’t  want  to  wear  ,  betrothed  to  a  boy  of  evil  .  he’s  a  remnant  of  everyone  isabeau  knows  ,  corrupted  by  the  devil  ,  blessed  by  the  demons  &  she  is  to  join  hands  with  him  ,  join  their  families  so  they  can  continue  a  path  of  wickedness  on  earth  .  she’s  never  felt  so  hopeless  ,  quiet  &  small  while  being  fitted  for  wedding  dresses  at  twenty  ,  hiding  her  tears  while  she  throws  a  damned  ring  into  the  sea  –  only  for  it  to  be  fished  out  hours  later  .  she  runs  as  far  as  she  can  for  higher  education  ,  hiding  behind  rehearsed  smiles  &  her  wealth  .  the  closer  she  gets  to  twenty  -  three  ,  the  less  the  sun  shines  .  isabeau  becomes  less  like  herself  ,  waking  up  in  clothes  that  aren’t  her  own  ,  acting  out  of  character  ,  losing  time  .  but  ,  a  sliver  of  hope  ;  because  it  doesn’t  matter  how  far  gone  she  is  ,  isabeau  was  blessed  by  the  angels  –  hope  is  always  with  her  .

𝓲𝓲𝓲.     𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟   .

             exterior  .  almost  mirrored  to  her  parents  ,  people  know  isabeau  from  her  parents  –  the  ruthless  ,  cold  financial  company  holders  who  are  famous  for  funding  the  most  corrupt  companies  .  equipped  with  a  resting  bitch  face  (  taught  by  her  mother  ,  of  course  )  exterior  wise  isabeau  is  unapproachable  ,  unattainable  .  her  wealth  holds  her  above  ninety  -  nine  percent  of  the  population  &  people  know  that  –  from  the  way  she  talks  &  walks  ,  how  she  holds  herself  ,  how  she  behaves  at  social  gatherings  .  almost  royalty  ,  she’s  cut  herself  off  from  many  friends  –  most  leaving  anyway  when  they  find  out  who  her  parents  are  &  what  they’ve  done  .  

even  so  ,  a  girl  who  always  knows  where  the  fun  is  –  she’s  clearly  stuck  in  a  spiral  ,  falling  deeper  into  a  hole  that  she  seemingly  doesn’t  want  help  with  .  isabeau  is  friends  with  a  lot  of  people  ,  but  not  many  people  are  friends  with  her  .  stuck  in  a  path  of  self  destruction  ,  she’s  lost  the  sunlight  that  used  to  lead  her  life  .  often  found  at  night  ,  kneeling  by  the  waterside  shedding  drunken  tears  because  she’s  losing  control  of  her  life  .  isabeau  knows  she’ s  worth  so  much  more  ,  but  in  every  way  –  she’s  trapped  &  locked  in  for  a  fate  she  doesn’t  want  .

             interior  .  she’s  sharp  &  witty  ,  remnants  of  the  brightness  still  remain  when  focused  .  she  excels  at  classwork  ,  top  of  her  class  while  she  sits  front  row  with  glasses  on  ,  answering  questions  &  befriending  professors  .  it’s  evident  that  there’s  so  much  more  to  isabeau  than  just  the  daughter  of  two  bringers  of  evil  ,  but  heartbreak  &  lost  friendships  hold  her  back  from  making  new  friends  easily  .  a  girl  who  longs  for  GOOD  ,  there’s  no  other  way  to  explain  that  isabeau  is  good  at  heart  .

she  will  always  fight  for  the  light  ,  stand  up  for  the  underdogs  in  the  most  elegant  ways  .  her  mind  is  always  running  ,  schemes  playing  out  in  her  head  when  it  looks  like  she’s  spacing  out  .  she  is  manipulative  &  always  calculated  ,  does  nothing  without  a  motive  ,  without  a  deeper  meaning  behind  it  –  but  there’s  no  malice  behind  her  intentions  .  isabeau  does  bad  for  good  ,  fights  for  the  just  cause  by  fighting  the  way  she  was  taught  .  not  to  be  trifled  with  ,  but  not  to  be  worried  about  lest  you’re  as  evil  as  the  devils  she  was  raised  with  .

𝓲𝓿.     𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤   .

these  are  all  most  wanted  !  

             betrothed  (  m  /  nb  )  ,  which is  a  long  shot  ,  i  know  –  but  please  give  me  the  dude  who  isabeau  is  engaged  to  .  he  doesn’t  have  to  be  as  evil  as  described  ,  but  his  parents  aren’t  good  people  either  &  he  doesn’t  exactly  give  off  the  image  of  a  pristine  person  (  not  ,  that  isabeau  does  either  –  but  ...  you  know  )  .  give  me  the  drama  &  the  angst  of  “maybe  i  do  care  ,  but  i  shouldn’t”  while  she  spirals  &  the  “you  think  i  wanted  this  ,  isabeau  ?”  &  all  the  fuckin  PAIN  !

            rich  kid  trio  (  any  ,  2  )  ,  people  as  wealthy  as  isabeau  that  she  knows  of  due  to  family  dinners  ,  event  galas  &  being  products  of  the  dirty  ,  rotten  rich  .  sure  ,  they’re  really  only  acquaintances  ,  but  nobody  protects  their  own  like  the  one  percent  ,  so  these  three  have  joined  forces  &  have  had  each  other’s  backs  since  arrival  at  st  .  astor  .

            everything  else  ,  a  roommate  (  probably  in  some  high  end  house  they’re  renting  together  )  ,  a  business  partner  ,  a  study  buddy  /  someone  she  tutors  ,  party  buddies  ,  someone  who  pushes  her  further  into  her  spiral  ,  anyone  else  with  a  funky  accent  that  she  likes  to  hang  out  with  &  their  accents  get  stronger  together  ,  anything  with  angst  please  !

𝓿.     𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕝𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟   .

i’d  love  to  get  all  these  plots  filled  up  ,  or  any  ones  that  you  might  have  bc  i’ve  got  sm  fuckin’  muse  for  isabeau  &  this  !  but  if  you’ve  read  this  whole  thing  jesus  ,  you’re  amazing  &  i  love  u  sm  .  please  like  this  &  i’ll  come  to  u  or  lmk  if  u  prefer  disc  &  we  can  go  there  !

[lilover131]

Unwritten CCS Fic 1

I’ve been kind of itching to share the fanfic ideas that I had over 10 years ago and never wrote. They still have a place in my heart, and if I can ever get the time and motivation, maybe I’ll write them. There were a lot of unwritten or partially written fics, and I’m going to share one with you today! 

FUTURE CHILDREN

This one kind of fits under the ‘future children’ trope, but I hope you enjoy it nonethless. 

The rest is under the cut due to length

This fic was never officially given a title, but Sakura and Syaoran at the age of 16 are met with a strange situation in which their future children arrive in the present day seeking their help. It seems that in the future, demons have begun to conquer the world, especially since they just captured the future versions of Sakura and Syaoran, the only ones strong enough to take them on. 

Ryu, a young boy of about 7, is the oldest of their children and looks much like Syaoran, only with Sakura’s green eyes. He was given the name meaning ‘Dragon’ because on the day he was born, when Syaoran held him for the first time, the boy’s little hands reached up and clung ever so slightly to the dragon pattern on his father’s robes. He has incredible magic for his age, but this makes him a bit cocky. He feels entitled to everything but respects his parents above all else, especially his father who has taught him everything he knows. However, upon meeting the Syaoran of the past, he is unimpressed and feels he is much less ‘cool’ and cannot possibly be his father. Sakura, however, is rather unchanged in the future, and Ryu still maintains his respect and love for her. 

Kohana, a young girl of about 5, is their second and youngest child. Her name, meaning ‘Little Flower’ was given to her because when wanting to give her the name of a flower, they could not decide which one to associate her with and instead called her ‘Little Flower’ so she might be associated with all of them. She is a very quiet little girl and hardly speaks, but she is kind hearted just like her mother. As far as they can tell, she does not have any magic, which was a surprise for everyone considering who her parents were. Despite this, she was loved just the same and is protected fiercely by her older brother, but is found to be a bit odd when she talks to her imaginary friend so often... 

The two children stay in Syaoran’s apartment as he lives alone and won’t have to try and make any explanations about them. Sakura visits often and gets along well with both of the children. It’s tough with Ryu being so disrespectful at times to Syaoran, but Kohana is always helpful with soothing the anger from either of them. The children explain that their mother, Sakura, sent them to the past using the RETURN card, right before they were captured, and Ryu believes it to be his fault that the demon’s got them. He was tricked and was used to lure his parents into a trap, and the anger that he currently feels stems from these feelings of guilt. 

Eventually, the demon’s managed to open a gate to the past to try and obtain the children, or better yet, kill the past versions of the parents who caused them so much trouble before. Ryu finds out and recklessly tries to fight them alone to avenge/save his parents. However, just as he is about to be hit and possibly killed by a spell, Syaoran appears and grabs him tight, taking the full impact of the spell. He is badly wounded, and for the first time, Ryu sees him as his father and sheds tears. 

Fortunately, Sakura arrives just in time to fight off and send them back to their master, who is very displeased at this news. The past versions in their eyes should be easier to kill and this must simply be a fluke. They will be back again to ensure they are never a problem again...

Sakura, Kohana, and Ryu tend to Syaoran’s wounds, but Ryu is mostly sulking in the other room, still feeling guilt about what happened both here and in the future. He felt as if he were only causing trouble to those around him, but Sakura explains to him that even though they will not officially be their parents for quite a while, there will always be a natural bond that draws them to protect them, no matter the cost. Ryu is overwhelmed by this and sobs into his mother’s lap while Kohana holds her father’s hand as he rests. 

Syaoran slowly wakes up and finds Kohana whispering to her imaginary friend again. He asks her this time, in his half awake state, what the name of her imaginary friend is, and she tells him “Clow.” Syaoran bolts up at this and nearly reopens his wounds, but it is soon realized that this entire time, she was speaking with the ghost of Clow Reed. Her magic, although hidden nearly all of the time, is actually incredibly strong, and she shows them in small displays that she is able to perform nearly every spell in the Li clan library. Ryu is shocked and thought that she simply liked to read a lot, and when asked why she never showed her magic to anyone, she simply replied “It’s embarrassing.” However, there was a second reason as well, which was that it was incredibly important to Ryu to be the next Li clan leader, and she did not want to distract the Elders from him, who was far more worthy of the position than she was. “Once they know you have magic, they stop seeing you.” She also says that Clow told her “strength in magic isn’t everything and that it’s what you do with it that makes a difference. It should be used to bring happiness to others.”  This resonates with Ryu, and his opinion has begun to change on the idea of ‘strength’. 

A few days pass, allowing Syaoran to heal a bit, but the demons do not allow much time for rest and begin their attack again, this time going after civilians to lure them out. Despite pleading from Sakura for Syaoran to rest, he insists that he cannot leave her to fight alone nor can he stand by while the demons are wreaking havoc. The two of them fight the demon minions and defeat them, which stirs their Master to come and fight them himself.

Already exhausted from the fight before, it seems as though they don’t have enough magic left to take on the master, and they are being beaten quite easily. They can barely stand now, and it seems as though the demons might win, but just when it seems hope is lost, Kohana and Ryu step in and say “I’m sure everything will be all right”. This was always their mother’s invincible spell that brought her so much strength. The two children recall the memory and Ryu had thought it was silly that simple words could do so much, but Sakura in the future explained to them that words are a unique and special power that only humans have. Words alone can change the future, and they can be both harmful and helpful depending on how they’re used. Sakura says that this ‘spell’ of hers always made the impossible seem possible and brought her courage, and everything indeed always turned out all right in the end.

Sakura in the present starts to feel her strength returning, and Syaoran follows suit. The two are now more determined than ever and pool their magic together in attempt to create a spell large enough to seal the demon away forever. The children help as well, giving as much as they can. The demon master is not pleased with this, however every time he tries to stop them, Kero and Yue absolutely won’t let him pass. As badly as they are hit by the magic, they keep standing back up and fighting. When asked why they continue to rise, they say “Because I believe in those two…”

The spell is finally complete, and Tomoeda is enveloped in a bright light. The demon master screams as he is sealed away forever, and they all collapse onto the ground in exhaustion, unable to move a muscle. Syaoran and Sakura awake later, and it appears that they have been asleep for several days. Their wounds are mostly healed now, and they have a few bandages remaining. Touya and the Guardians had been caring for them, and the children had woken about a day after the fight.

The children thank them for everything that they have done, but Sakura and Syaoran state that without them, they might not have been able to make it. They realize that their parents must be worried sick about them and they try to determine how to get them back to the future safely. Sakura thinks hard and soon determines that the RETURN card is what got them here, and it should in turn be able to ‘return’ them to the future.

They rest for a few days and arrange to go to the Tsukimine Shrine, since the tree there is old and will help to amplify the magic so it can work successfully. They arrive, and both Kohana and Ryu become emotional about leaving. They miss their parents in the future, naturally, but they had come to be good friends with the Sakura and Syaoran of the past. They embrace and tell each other that they will meet again someday and that this is not goodbye forever.

The children are sent back to the future, and Sakura and Syaoran do find themselves feeling a bit empty now that they’re gone. But they realize they still have each other and that the future looks bright.

Flash forward to the future where Sakura and Syaoran have given birth to Kohana, and Syaoran enters the room with toddler Ryu in his arms. They sit on the edge of the bed and Ryu crawls curiously to his mother and newborn baby sister. This future of theirs is perfect and untouched by the demons, and the parents tell the children how fortunate they are to have them in their lives and that they have the children to thank for this happiness that they have now. The children are obviously too young to understand, but Sakura and Syaoran smile at each other and mention that “Maybe one day they’ll tell them the story.”

 THE END

[codetrainwreck]

Geass Movie Super Ultimate Final Summary Extra Mega Sugoi Version (2/2)

Last time on Code Geass, Lelouch of the Re;surrection: Shesthaal is very cute, Lelouch blows up Shesthaal with Bitool’s Sakuradite, Shesthaal cries out for his father as he gets blown up, and there goes my interest in this movie.

Tbf though, it’s a good death scream. Imagine what kind of noises he makes in bed... he’s def an uke...

Anyway, continuing on.

Lelouch and the gang split from the prison and the container of prison staff he Geassed to help with their getaway is seen being let go. Although it took him 728 days longer to rise from the dead, Jesus Lamperouge has learned mercy.

Back in the capital at Shamna’s temple, Shesthaal’s dad, Cmdr. Forgnar, comes in and goes, “Holy shit my son died let’s go FUCK UP THE UFN” and Shamna is like, “No, let’s not.” Whether you think he actually cares or whether he wants to use this as an excuse to fuck up the UFN is up to you. However, based on the dialogue about how Cornelia is a curse word in this region, and how Forgnar doesn’t talk about his son like ever again (even other characters who aren’t even from Zilkhstan bring up Shesthaal’s “disappearance” later), it comes off as more like... Forgnar just wants an excuse to go fight Cornelia.

She asks Bitool how long ago Shesthaal died and Bitool replies it was in the afternoon, at 11am. Since it’s out of the 6 hour time limit (we’ll come back to this later), she apparently can’t do shit. Shamna says that with her prophecy, even if they’re Geass users, they can beat anyone. It shows Nunnally on the ceiling in some kind of tank. And also she has new clothing but isn’t wearing underwear because in Zilkh culture, they don’t wear underwear. This might read like a joke sentence, but it’s a 100% serious sentence.

At the UFN HQ, Schneizel is wearing glasses and looks hot. That’s all you need to know. There’s also a convo related to the plot and sending people and supplies to Zilkhstan including Lancelot’s new fortress frame coat, but I’m just gonna explain this in the next bit.

Back to the Good Guys, Sayoko observes some drop ships. Cornelia, who is now a general in the UFN (which makes her a Black Knight) has shown up with a small team of Black Knights and a Rag Tag Band from the TV series - herself, Guilford, Ohgi, Tamaki, Cecile, Nina, Anya, Jeremiah. The 8 of them, combined with Lelouch, CC, Kallen, Suzaku, Lloyd and Sayoko, plus Cornelia’s BKs, are going to save the fuck out of Nunnally.

Now, you might be asking yourself, “Why these specific people?” HMM WELL YOU SEE. None of them, aside from Cornelia and her few soldiers, are actually BKs anymore. Kallen is only a reserve member as she’s attending university. Basically, Schneizel can’t formally be like, “Wow send 1000 people to rescue Nunnally and mobilize the Black Knights” which is why he’s sending people who are mostly not involved with the Black Knights on this SUPER SECRET MISSION. (They talk about this back when CC first meets up with Kallen/Sayoko/Lloyd.)

And you might also be asking yourself... “Wait, what about Tohdoh, Gino, Xingke”, etc. What about those other Black Knights? HMM WELL YOU SEE. Xingke died, and the rest aren’t very popular characters, so plot-wise they stuck with the Black Knights giving the story and animators excuses to not include them in the main plot except for something really brief later.

Anyway, Lelouch has taken up the Zero costume again while CC is upset they haven’t run away to fuck like rabbits yet so she drinks a martini. And Cornelia is the only person with a brain, so she is like, “Dude, what the fuck? Am I supposed to be OK with this while Euphy and Darlton are dead?” Everyone else is like down to help Lelouch and Cornelia is not having this shit. Lelouch convinces her by taking off his Zero mask and sincerely asking his older sister for help.

Cornelia is like, “Hell yeah we’re gonna save Nunnally” after this but first since no one has seen each other in a while, they need to party first. Kallen and CC have some girl time finally but then proceed to fail the Bechdel test and talk about Lelouch.

Ohgi gives Lelouch a USB drive from Kaguya then tries to kill himself even though he has a wife and a child at home. Lelouch, without turning around, knows Ohgi is trying to kill himself so he forgives him and say it’s okay because he is merciful Jesus now. It’s chilly at night in the desert and Cornelia’s outfit is like sleeveless and zettai ryoiki so she’s walking around in the Zero jacket and gives Suzaku a drink.

Honestly, just let Cornelia be Zero.

Lelouch signals Suzaku up to the water tower, where they talk about how Lelouch understands the plot regarding his resurrection as well as the viewer (as in he doesn’t) and as far as he knows he could roll over and die at any time. Then an extremely misplaced Ali Project insert song plays while Lelouch watches a video from Ohgi’s wedding with lots of characters conveniently gathered at once... one of which happens to be Nunnally.

Also, Cornelia’s tits are one of the most well-drawn things in this movie next to Shesthaal’s hair when he’s in the cockpit. Honestly, I appreciate you, Sunrise.

SO, keikaku time. Instead of trying to explain this chronologically, I’m just gonna explain it... not chronologically.

Shamna’s Geass is to send her memories back in time 6 hours when she dies, so she effectively knows what’s going to happen and Zilkhstan can prepare for it. In an interview, Lelouch’s VA Fukujun compares this to “uploading her memory to Cs’ World and then downloading it” since Cs’ World has no concept of time. So, basically, the reason why Zilkhstan has been successful is because Shamna is fucking save scumming.

It is implied she already reset time at least once in the movie by now. The first is that at the start of the movie, Shalio remarks about how Zero moved to the place that Shamna said he would, so Shalio and the other KMFs are able to set up a trap under Suzaku in advance. I don’t know why she can’t chain this 6hrs -> back another 6hrs.

Lelouch and co initiate their plan. Lelouch successfully outmaneuvers Zilkhstan at every single place possible: Suzaku and Kallen are on the flats in Strike Freedom and Infinite Justice and wipe out all of the mooks. Everyone else is also able to make it to their destination. Zilkh soldiers have been Geassed to blow up their bases, Bitool can’t make it to his Guard Scorpion mech, etc.

Finally, Lelouch rides up to Shamna’s temple on the Mahoraba (the one Suzaku didn’t wreck at the start of the movie). Shamna goads Lelouch by hitting a button that auto-kills Nunnally in her tank. Lelouch responds by gunning Shamna down immediately. Shamna sends her memories back in time 6 hours.

Shamna is bathing with Shalio when she has a “prophecy”. We see she has a Code on her lower belly in this scene. She calls up Forgnar and explains the plot to him. This time around, Zilkhstan is prepared for all of Lelouch’s bullshit. Lelouch starts to despair and is almost shot down in the Mahoroba when Anya and CC show up and rescue his dumb noodle ass. Lelouch and CC co-pilot the Gekkoei. Lelouch has an existential crisis as he freaks out about his plans not working while everyone around him also freaks out about the plan not working and asks him for further instructions. And I mean like, literally everyone except for uhmm Cornelia? I think?

There’s a scene in R2 where Suzaku debuts the Lancelot Albion. Bismarck is there in Galahad and uses his Geass to fight Suzaku. Lelouch then rings up Suzaku and goes, “Dude, this being broadcasted worldwide, don’t fucking embarrass me”. Suzaku then goes on to use his live Geass to somehow overpower the Knight of One.

If this were a scene in the movie, it would be like, the Knight of One dodges one of Suzaku’s attacks or something and then Suzaku freaks the fuck out and goes, “OH NO, THE KNIGHT OF ONE HAS A GEASS. LELOUCH, WHAT DO I DO? MICROMANAGE ME AND GIVE ME SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS.” That is honestly what this whole sequence feels like.

Eventually, CC puts a gun to his head, out edgelords him, and convinces him to get his shit together. Lelouch gives her orders to give to everyone else because Geass doesn’t work on her. Thanks to Tamaki’s stupidity, he then uses the Zilkh public channel to declare that it’s time for the final phase of this mission. Suddenly, everyone becomes competent again and CC starts issuing commands to people. CC asks him what “final” means, and Lelouch replies it means nothing.

We then go through 30(?) implied time resets. While it doesn’t show time resetting literally 30 some times, it is implied that Lelouch gets 1 plan to work, then Shamna resets time and is ready for his new plan next time. We know it’s 30-ish because Lelouch has 8 folder plans he gives to CC, and also has 22 theories about what the enemy Geass user’s Geass is and he goes down the list eliminating them.

Something that I think English viewers missed from the American theater screenings is that CC does not retain their memories because Shamna’s Geass only affects herself. So, essentially, from Lelouch’s POV, he’s just going down the list until something works. From Shamna’s POV, she goes back and prepares to counter him every time she sees his next move.

On the last loop, Lelouch’s last ditch effort to figure out Shamna’s Geass is to bluff her by saying, “I have the same Geass as you”. Shamna freaks the fuck out and tells her guards not to kill Lelouch. Lelouch can tell from this reaction what her Geass is, so he Geasses her to sleep, and also sets a bomb that will go off in 10-11-12-whatever hours. (E.g. even if Shamna resets time, she’ll be back in time but it’ll be when she’s sleeping.)

Lelouch and CC try to wake Nunnally but she isn’t responsive. CC deduces that her soul/KOKORO/whatever is not in her body. However, they set Shamna’s temple to blow up in [X] hours. Lelouch and CC use Shamna’s system to enter the metaphysical world. CC goes to confirm something, then she will leave to move their bodies so they don’t die IRL.

CC confronts Shamna and learns the plot: “I want to remake the world.” Recall that in R2, Marianne and Charles needed 2 Codes to fuck Cs’ World. Shamna has 1 Code on her womb. Charles is dead, she doesn’t know Lelouch has one. Seemingly, she tried to use Nunnally has a make shift second Code due to her connection to the magic world cause of her family. (Her “wavelengths” are the same as Charles’s.)

Ah, yes, an older sibling with a Geass who has a younger wheelchair bound sibling tries to fuck the whole world. Hmm NEVER HEARD THAT PLOT BEFORE. Shamna wishes to stay in the metaphysical realm so she can see Shalio as he passes by. CC warns her not to “leave her [heart/essence/whatever] behind”. Interpretation is that CC is saying, “Can you please not fuck this up like how Charles did” [by leaving himself behind].

In the real world, CC, Tamaki and Ohgi have moved Lelouch and Nunnally’s bodies away from the temple. Lelouch finds Nunnally. The two get swallowed by black particle bullshit until Lelouch confesses that Geass is his sin (or something... I don’t actually remember what he says before the “uhh this is my sin” part). After, rainbow fucking magic hands appear to “catch” them, and Lelouch remarks that these are the people who helped earlier. (Earlier as in, when CC reached for Lelouch.)

The sub-plots that occur during all of these time resets are as follows:

Ohgi and Tamaki steal a KMF by distracting the pilot with camels crossing the road then getting on top of the KMF and beating the pilot up. Then they make hot pot while waiting for orders from Zero.

Sayoko ditches Ohgi and Tamaki to meet up with the science crew who can’t escape the city because Qujappat is after them. Cecile gets shot during the skirmish (all 30 fucking times) and Nina kills Qujappat by disconnecting her KMF’s energy filler power lines and dropping them in water to electrocute him and the other assassins to death.

Gino and Tohdoh (and others) are trying to talk to Zilkhstan official politic-y people about the Nunnally and Zero being MIA thing as members of the Black Knights. Gino asks to know why Zilkhstan’s Official Elite Bodyguard Captain Something Something Rich Pretty Boy PR Person Shesthaal is mysteriously missing from this meeting as he was supposed to be there. Milly, who is watching events unfold at the TV station, also asks about where he went.

Suzaku fights Shalio with his new Lancelot (ugly as) siN and its thicc frame coat. Shalio beats him in the frame coat. Suzaku purges the frame coat and then beats Shalio. However, by this point, Shalio’s body is seemingly at its limit (he’s bleeding out of his eyes), and honestly it feels like a free kill. At one point, Suzaku asks Shalio, “Why the fuck did you ruin peace etc” and Shalio replies that he has to be the ultimate warrior (implied: for his sister) so he can’t do this hand-holding peace shit and his country has nothing but fighting.

Kallen gets trapped by Bitool’s guard scorpion mech in the Guren Special Type (also thicc). She purges the frame coat and magical warp speed jumps out of the energy sphere she’s trapped in, then blows up Bitool with her good ole laser knife.

Cornelia and Guilford are on the bridge. Cornelia fights Forgnar, who then tries to sacrifice himself and orders his troops to kill both him and Cornelia. Cornelia encourages him to find a peaceful solution.

After all of this bullshit resolves, Shamna’s temple blows up and we see a visual representation of her being exploded inside of the Thought Elevator where CC last saw her. In the real world, Lelouch and Nunnally chat about being together again. The scene between them ends without you hearing his response to her. CC skips town, but not before Kallen gives CC her bootleg Cheese mascot.

Lelouch catches up to CC (out of breath, ofc). CC says something about going to find other Geass users like Shamna (I don’t remember the exact details cause Shesthaal has nothing to do w/this scene, sorry). Lelouch goes with her, taking up the name LL to match CC’s non-human name. CC pauses, then blushes and makes a moe anime waifu noise.

However, it is nowhere near as cute as Shesthaal’s “umu” or when he asks where Zero is in the prison (”Zerooooo?”). Lmao fucking get rekt CC he’s cuter than you and also has long green hair.

In the post-credits scene, Lelouch and CC have clothes from a 2000s Hot Topic - CLAMP-looking black gothic outfits. Something that like... no one has mentioned so far is that Lelouch is wearing a rose choker that matches Shirley’s rose earrings from the ending cards. Shirley also showed up in a mall earlier in the movie. Shirley... was shopping at Hot Topic for Lelouch and CC and bought herself earrings while she was there? Idk.

Lelouch recites the same Power of the King speech that CC gave him in the first episode of the anime, but with a couple differences. He says the power MAY isolate you, not that it will, and also that if you suck at Geass, he’ll take it away from you.

~ ThE eNd ~

OKAY YEAH SO I didn’t really enjoy this movie a lot. You have about 5 seconds to mourn Shesthaal before Daddy Schneizel shows up in glasses. It’s like you’re eating a cute little salad and you’re not done when your entree shows up. (Your entree. In glasses. And looking hot and appetizing as fuck.)

Pretty boy stuff aside, my opinion is generally that the main plot stuff is a bunch of “whatever” but the smaller stuff is good. Like... Tamaki and Ohgi making hot pot in a KMF after knocking out the pilot by distracting them with camels crossing the road (semi-foreshadowed earlier when Tamaki and Ohgi were hiding out near some sleeping camels) was some pretty great character interaction that actually led up to Lelouch’s, “Yo, final phase” speech on the open channel.

Shalio knowing that Suzaku is Zero BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING SPINKICK was pretty great too. There are lots of small things that have nothing to do with Lelouch and CC that I found way more memorable and Code Geass-y. Even just reading interviews is fun - Nobbu is a good VA and there’s an interview where he’s like, “Taniguchi told me, ‘Your dad is Akio Ohtsuka’ and I instantly understood”... lol...

The stuff with, “Everyone is useless, good thing Lelouch is here” was kind of physically painful to watch. From a thematic POV, we see the compare/contrast - Nunnally able to live without Lelouch but Shalio unable to do the same without Shamna. And also with how Zilkhstan are a bunch of headless chickens without Shamna micromanaging them with her prophecies yet all of the old TV cast magically become competent again after Lelouch says their plan is now entering the final phase.

E.g. we see how a ~decorated war hero~ like Cmdr. Forgner was also reliant on her explaining the plot (maybe it’s for the best poor Shesthaal died before finding out everything about his dad and his country were big fucking shams ;_;). However, just because I understand why it’s in the movie doesn’t mean I have to like it. ‘_>’

It was like watching uh, idk, Advent Children or Nadesico: Prince of Darkness or something. Which was also about the expectation level for this movie, but I actually felt fatigue kick in around the 1hr 20min mark...

[seasonsandcenturies]

fic: Alice and the Magicians (CCS, gen)

Summary: “She knows her family thinks she can’t do anything right. When she was young, they used to tell her she’d understand everything when she was older, but the older she gets the less they tell her.” Akiho Shinomoto has an unusual childhood. (Clear Card Arc, manga-based. 2,579 words.)

Notes: I haven’t read the latest Clear Card chapter yet but this was based on a few of my pet theories, like that Akiho isn’t her real name, and that Kaito and Momo have been connected for a long time. Quotes are from various Alice in Wonderland-related stories and other books featuring characters named Alice. :)

Read at AO3 or below the cut.

-

Alice moving under skies Never seen by waking eyes. 

-

One night she wakes up to find Auntie standing over her bed with a light in her hand. It must be a candle, even though she can’t see any wax. She knows it’s Auntie because she recognizes her soft voice as she says, “Wake up, darling. Would you like to come outside for a walk with me?”

She looks over at the clock on the wall. It’s very late.

“I’m not supposed to be out of bed now. Will I get in trouble?” she says doubtfully.

“Oh, no, darling. Not if you’re with me. It will be our little secret.” Auntie taps her hand to her face in a shushing motion even though her face is hidden under the hood of the robe, the flickering light staying perfectly still next to her even when she moves her hand away.

Auntie helps her put on her own robe and is impressed when she can do it up all by herself. She takes her hand and leads her over to the open window. Outside the moon is very bright and there are no clouds at all. The stars are all twinkling hello but one dances away from the others.

“Oh!” she gasps. “A shooting star!”

“And do you know the constellation the star came from?” Auntie asks.

She has to look very carefully but she does.

“Very good!” Auntie praises her. “Now, why don’t we go take a closer look?”

She thinks Auntie means they’re going to the observatory, but instead of sending her to get her telescope, Auntie tells her to climb onto the window sill. She shuts her eyes tight and tries not to look down, because the ground is very far away.

“Oh, no, we can’t have that,” Auntie tuts, climbing up next to her. “Hold my hand, please.”

The night air is cool on her face but her robe is warm, and with her hand safely in Auntie’s, she feels much better about standing outside on the ledge. She opens her eyes just in time to see another star streak across the sky.

But when she looks down, she suddenly realizes they aren’t standing on anything. The house looks very small below them. She feels herself slipping out of Auntie’s grip as the ground rushes towards her.

She wakes up with a start and finds herself in her own bed with the covers pulled up to her chin. Her robe is hanging up on its hook just like it always is. Auntie is sitting at the foot of her bed, the candle in her hands dripping wax down the side.

“I dreamed we were flying, Auntie,” she says sleepily.

“Don’t be silly, darling,” Auntie says. “You can’t fly.”

But she doesn’t sound very happy about it.

-

Alice replied, rather shyly, “I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.” 

-

Cousin invites her to tea. She can tell it’s Cousin because he slouches, his shoulders dropping forwards even under the robe. She thinks it’s because he takes care of so many small creatures, he’s always leaning over trying to see where they’ve gone.

She tries to scratch her legs under the table. Her new stockings are very itchy. She’d ripped her other pair that morning when she’d been trying to reach her books. She’d been scolded for not taking better care of her clothes and for climbing the furniture, although she hadn’t meant to, it was just that someone had moved everything to the very highest shelves and taken away the ladder. But when she’d explained why she’d done it she’d been told that she should have found a more creative solution.

He wants to know what books she’s read lately, so she tells him all about Alice in Wonderland as he cuts her another slice of cake.

“My, my. And how does Alice get to Wonderland?”

“She follows a rabbit!” she says.

“Do you like rabbits?”

“Oh, yes,” she says eagerly. Cousin let her pet one, once. She hopes he might let her see one again.

“What if we had one just here? Do you think you could make one? Imagine a nice, white rabbit, just popping up there –- with nice soft fur to pet — running around on its little legs–”

They imagine the rabbit. They imagine chasing a rabbit. She wishes very hard for a rabbit but none show up.

“I–” she falters. “I don’t think I can.”

“Are you quite sure?” Cousin says, sounding a little desperate. She nods, and he makes a thoughtful humming noise. “Well, would you like to be a rabbit?”

She thinks about wiggling her nose and her ears – she’d tried to do it lots of times in the mirror, but never as an actual rabbit. Then she thinks of Alice, knowing who she was at breakfast and being lots of things since then. The idea of not knowing who she really is makes her feel strange and her legs itch.

“Think how high you could jump!” Cousin prompts her.

“I’d rather just be a girl,” she says in a small voice.

There is a sudden noise. His robe drops to the ground, a flock of birds fly out the window, chattering angrily. Cousin is gone. A deer wanders through and picks up his robe on its antlers before walking back out of the room.

She puts her cup back on the tea tray and sees herself out.

-

‘Children do know some things without being taught.’    —ALICE.  

-

It’s half past noon and the doors to the big dining room are still closed, she can hear the quiet murmur of conversation so she knows the rest of the family must still be eating lunch. She takes her sketchbook to the parlor to work on her drawing, but she’s surprised to find that someone has already lit a fire and pulled one of the big armchairs closer to the hearth. They turn and motion for her to join them, so she drags an ottoman over.

She can’t tell who it is but they smell like spices and ink so she thinks they might be Uncle. He’s always traveling to interesting places and bringing back old scrolls and things like that for their collection. He produces a second teacup from his robe and pours her a cup of spiced tea. She drinks it even though he adds too much milk and sugar, because it would be rude not to.

He asks what she’s learned recently. A little, she tells him shyly; a little math, a little history, and then she shows him her sketchbook. She’s been trying to draw the sigils from their robes, but it’s harder than she thought it would be. He doesn’t seem impressed. She’s certain now that it’s Uncle, because he’s never impressed by anything.

“I suppose you aren’t completely empty headed after all,” Uncle grunts, which is probably the nicest thing he could say.

Uncle picks up his tea and sips it. The cup vanishes under his hood. She can’t see his mouth, although she knows it’s there, because everyone has mouths, of course. She thinks about Alice and the caterpillar, wreathed in smoke so thick you can’t even see his face, and bites back a smile.

-

“But I mean there’s nothing at all on them,” said Alice; “they’re only blank paper.” 

-

She’s just finishing up her breakfast when Great-Aunt comes in. Great-Aunt always pushes up the sleeves of her robe because she likes to have her hands free, even though the robe is supposed to cover your entire arm. But she’s an Elder so no one can tell her she isn’t allowed, even if they want to.

Today Great-Aunt is wearing white cotton gloves. She hands her another pair and tells her to put them on, so she knows they’ll be going to the Old Library. You always have to wear gloves in the Old Library because the books there are so fragile.

Great-Aunt takes her through the rows and into a storage cupboard in the back of the Old Library, pushing aside boxes of candles and a mop to pull an old, dusty book off a shelf. She wonders if they’re going to clean it but Great-Aunt tells her that this kind of book likes to have a little dust on it.

“Is that why it’s in the cupboard?” she wants to know.

“No, it’s just happier when it’s hidden,” Great-Aunt says, and she thinks that she likes the way Great-Aunt talks about books as if they have feelings.

The book is strange. It’s written with symbols in ink that’s faded and sometimes scribbled as if someone was in a hurry to write everything down, with larger letters painted at the beginning of each chapter like the illustrated manuscripts Uncle brought them last month. Some of the pages have pictures.

“Can you read it?” she asks.

Great-Aunt nods. “I learned when I was, hmm, about your age, I suppose. Turn to the front, please.”

The first page has much less writing than the rest of the book does and there’s a picture of water pouring out of a jug. Great-Aunt points to each symbol one by one and tells her what it means and how to say it until she can read the first paragraph all the way through.

Great-Aunt closes the book. “Now, can you remember the very first word?”

She repeats it back from memory.

“Good, good. Watch closely.”

Great-Aunt pulls a small pitcher and basin from a shelf. She holds the pitcher over the bowl and says the word again. When she tilts the pitcher, water pours out of it, just like in the illustration.

“I’m thinking of water,” Great-Aunt says. “Doesn’t matter which kind. Cold, hot, rivers, baths, tea. The point is it has to be water and has to move. Then you say the word and it’s there. Now, you try.”

Hesitantly, she takes the pitcher. It feels very light. She tries to look inside to see how much water is left because maybe there isn’t enough to pour, but Great-Aunt raps her knuckles on her head, just hard enough to startle her but not hard enough for it to hurt.

“Don’t look! Just say the word and pour.”

So she does, but nothing happens. Great-Aunt makes her try again and again but the pitcher is still empty, and finally she offers to go fill it with water but Great-Aunt just sighs like she’s done something disappointing again and tells her not to bother. She tells her to leave the pitcher and basin in the cupboard and puts the book back on the shelf, where it blends in with everything else and looks so ordinary she hates to leave it.

“Please, may I come back and read it again?” she blurts out.

Great-Aunt shrugs. “If you like. It won’t matter, anyway.”

-

They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace - Christopher Robin went down with Alice. They've great big parties inside the grounds. "I wouldn't be King for a hundred pounds,"                                                                   Says Alice. -

One night, Kaito finds his new charge in tears over Winnie the Pooh as Edward Bear comes down the stairs with a bump, bump, bump.

“The p-poor bear!” the little girl sobs. “I’d never treat a bear like that. Bears are so lovely and so friendly.”

It takes her a long time to calm down. He sits next to her bed and they read together until she’s satisfied that Christopher Robin does learn to take better care of Pooh.

The next day, Kaito takes her with him into town to run errands. They pass by the toy store on their way home and she gravitates to the window, staring longingly at the teddy bears on display. He realizes with a jolt of surprise that he’s never seen any toys in her room.

“Would you like to have a bear of your own, like Christopher Robin does?” he asks.

She smiles at him, but the smile doesn’t reach her eyes as she shakes her head no. “I don’t think I’m allowed to. It wouldn’t look very dignified.”

She’s right, of course. Frankly, he thinks her clan cares too much about how things look and not enough about how things are. Her parents may have been powerful magicians, but the girl is still just a child. Kaito decides he’ll have to do something.

So Kaito thinks and he thinks and he thinks, until he thinks up a small thing that’s just the right size for a little girl’s pocket, with long ears like the rabbits in the garden, with dark eyelashes and a beautiful muff and a golden crown.

“Hello,” he says politely, once he’s finished. “I’ve got a job for you. Are you ready?”

The rabbit yawns. “Oh, I suppose.”

Kaito gives her the little white rabbit and knows he’s done the right thing by the way her eyes light up with delight when she sees it.

“What shall we name her?” he asks.

She’d just read a story about a small person who lived inside of a peach so she has exactly the right name. She runs to fetch the book to show him all the illustrations and barely stumbles over the words as she reads aloud in Japanese, translating the tale of Momotaro on the spot. There’s an innocent magic in her storytelling that he suspects her clan will never be able to appreciate.

“You truly have a talent for words,” he praises, resting his hand on her head. She blushes and hides her face behind Momo, the small rabbit smiling serenely at them both.

-

“You see,” he went on before giving her time to reply, “it might mean ALICE MAYBE!” So perhaps it’s not for you after all. It might even be intended for me.” This was a rather disturbing thought, especially as, curiously enough, Alice could not for the life of her, at the moment, remember her full name.

-

She knows her family thinks she can’t do anything right. When she was young, they used to tell her she’d understand everything when she was older, but the older she gets the less they tell her.

Maybe that’s why she likes Kaito so much. He isn’t like the rest of them. Whenever he asks her questions, she always feels like it’s because he’s genuinely interested in what she has to say, not because he’s looking for an answer she can’t give.

Sometimes, when the family’s disappointment is too much to bear, she goes to her room and cries into Momo’s soft muff because she knows Momo won’t tell anyone. Momo is very good at keeping secrets. She isn’t allowed to tell her real name to anyone outside of the family, but she tells it to Momo, because while Momo isn’t family she isn’t not-family, either, because she’s just a toy.

“I wish I could be a more interesting Alice, like the Alice in books,” she confides, hugging Momo close. “I think they would like me more.”

Momo waits until Alice falls asleep to promise her that someday, things will be different; she strokes her hair and does what she can to take away the hurt and give her good dreams. After all, it’s her job to look after her.

“You’re better than all of them,” Momo tells her. “They don’t know what they’re missing.”

Sleeping peacefully, Alice smiles.

-

[ineedtoescape11]

You know how much I’ve cried over the things you’ve done. You know the number of times The old insecurities were dug up with my random constant need for affirmation that you loved me and that I would be your only one that that things like that wouldn’t happen again. I made sure I told you each time how affected I was. You’ve watched me have a panic Attack right in front of you at that CC because you were hiding secrets from me and hiding your phone from me like you didn’t trust me. You know I’ve got crippling anxiety but each time you did something bad you didn’t stop to think how would she feel if she knew I was doing this and hiding it from her? And when I raise up the matter of how your actions hurt me, you turned me into the bad guy. You call me self centered. When I calmly told you that I didn't appreciate smth you did or said you always said "you make me feel like shit" and proceed to be angry with me and guilt trip me. That was always your favourite line after hurting me and I calmly voiced out. "You made me feel like shit". That sentence still hurts. After so many times. But did you stop to think that your actions may have made me feel like shit in the first place but I was trying to be calm and rational and tactful in the way I put it. You’ve called me so many bad things but I told myself you’re working on your anger and you will be better soon. I've got anger issues. Such bad anger issues but have you seen me snap at you? The only time I recall intentionally snapping at you was because you told me only I could calm your anger by being stronger and more aggressive than your anger. Of which you got angry at me for doing what you told me to do. You Liken me to the people you hate in your life over and over again. And yet I stayed on and at one point of time I wasn’t even entitled to my own emotions. I stayed on and I loved you. I healed on my own without talking to anybody, without talking to you too much about the hurt I felt cause each time I thought you realised and I knew you would get angry with me for feeling hurt. They weren’t minor events. Yet you treated them like they were while I sat here crying my eyes out until I sleep. You say that in your anger you just want to hurt me. You personally told me that before. You see your phone light up with my name calling you repeatedly, desperately but in your anger, you see my name and you harshly reject calls. You ignored all my calls and all my messages and left me to wither in my own anxiety for one entire day once, for a mistake I never even made. It wasn’t my fault. I cried myself to sleep and went to my attachment where I sat in a toilet cubicle and sobbed alone for 20min. I nearly collapsed twice in front of patients because of the emotional and physical exhaustion. And then you casually appear pretending like you didn’t reject all my calls and all my pleas for a response because I was worried for you. I remember telling you all of this while I was on the train back from attachment when you suddenly decided to reappear. The green line. While I was struggling to stay afloat, you went to a carnival at work and took photos on motorbikes and played games. I’ve gone to work after a night of sobbing because you snapped at me with such puffy eyes that everyone at work asked me what’s wrong. Little things like when my mum cooked pork for lunch on the day we were supposed to meet, you choose to just cancel our meetup just like that. I don't understand. Why couldn't we still spend time regardless? Because we couldn't kiss? We could have still chilled and spent time and talked and laughed. But whenever you have beef you continue with the plans to meet when if it was me, it would be immediately cancelled. You ask if you could just brush your teeth and kiss me but when I showed discomfort towards the idea, you got angry with me. Heck you didn't even want to see me when I ate pork for lunch but you still want to try and kiss me after having beef. I don't think you remember this but early in our relationship, you told me that you wouldn't mind going catholic and we could both go catholic together so religion is less of a problem. You told me I could have a lovely church wedding with loved ones and I could get a grand white gown that I felt like a princess in and we would read each other our vows to which you proceeded to make up funny retarded ones on the spot and I laughed so much reading them. I started thinking of names for you for baptism and I thought of ignatius for you and you cringed so bad and you judged my choice of name so bad and we laughed so much that night. Abruptly without telling me, you scrapped the plan. When I brought it up you were shocked. You said you love your religion and you didn't want to go catholic. I was taken aback. Then why did we paint such a pretty picture? But I respected that. I urged you to go for your prayers when you didn't want to for some reason or another. I encouraged you to grow in your faith. We were supposed to have that mutual respect for each others religions. One day you told me you actually do want me to convert sooner or later. And when I was shocked and I asked about the mutual respect, you got upset with me. You insisted you could hope and what was wrong with that. I said nothing was wrong with hoping but I just wanted you to respect my decision and stance. We knew our relationship needed compromise and understanding. You decided without consulting me that the children are going to be of your religion. Insisted on it in fact. I repeatedly expressed my fears and discomfort of being the only one not of that religion in the house but you kept insisting everything would be fine. Where was my say? I was already failing to get you to do your daiIy prayers and getting you to pray every Friday. I was failing at getting you to stop smoking, stop drinking. Heck you drink more Than I do. I supported you to be strong in your faith because you said that was what you wanted but then you acted differently. I cried in the middle of the club because I couldn't get you to stay with me, to dance with me, to show me affection. I watched you walk up to girls and dance with them. It wasn't just dance battles. Lone girls that were dancing. You walked away from me and went to them and danced. I felt you push me away about thrice saying "no no I have A Girlfriend" after I had my body against yours for quite some time. I told you I was your Girlfriend and you doubted me. When you were with me you just wanted to touch me all over. You were supposed to protect me in the club. You were supposed to have a fun night dancing and partying with me. You were supposed to take care of me. Me and our Friend had to drag you everywhere and after a while I just stood in the middle of the club and cried and gave up trying to get you to spend time with me. I watched you turn from the strong, independent, in control, responsible young man to someone who couldn’t be bothered to take care of his finances or his health, someone who regularly abandoned his squad for Dota, the squad that he worked so hard to get and that he vowed to love and raise to be fine young men. I made more than 10 fitness plans for you. You didn't listen to or try any of them. I was supposed to help you manage your finances but then you proceed to hiding your finances from me yet expecting me to help you manage them. When I got frustrated, I was in the wrong. When I just said it’s your choice and you know what you’re doing, I’m also wrong. I treasured you. I loved you. I babied you. Maybe I was in the wrong to get into a relationship when I couldn't give you a good one. I always feared that was going to be the case. No dating proper, no uploading photos and videos everywhere. I couldn't provide. Maybe that's why you strayed. I'm thankful you helped me thru a tough time, made me smile so much, made me feel safe, taught me how to love so wholeheartedly, helped build me up. But somewhere along the way, things changed. I kept trying to get you up on your feet. To build your self esteem again. Making you exercise, sending you good morning mini essays to make sure you started your day smiling. How often did you return those good morning wholehearted messages? When I tell you I miss waking up to proper good morning messages, you did them for a couple of days then gave up again. Then you just stopped with the good mornings even tho you're always awake before me. Just waiting for me to do It. You know it meant a lot to me. Why couldn't you give me a loving good morning message? It takes just a minute. You were running out of money, you weren't eating proper, you always got angry because of those two reasons but you didn't want to get a job even tho you told me you'd work at the zoo after you ORD. Another empty promise. For the next one out there to win over his heart, he's a loving soul. Really. I really hope you'll open your heart again. But please, treat yourself well, don't make her worry. Exercise and get the blood pumping, you'll fall sick less and you will be happier and less groggy and tired. Eat well. You're a big boy and I know you can take care of yourself :) she will take care of you too but you need to take care of yourself first okay? Treat her like how you would want your daughters to be treated. Place her over video games. She can bring you further than those games can. Dont let her feel like a game is more important than her. Don't spend on those games, save the money for the future you'll have together. Stay as retarded as you are, you're funny, she'll love it. When you guys are debating, open your mind, see things from more than one perspective. Yours is valid but so is hers. Don't invalidate her thoughts or her feelings, be open minded and the Two of you will be incredibly happy and you'll spur each other on to be better. Treat her and her body with respect, love her heart the most. Respect her decisions and understand where she's coming from as you always did with mine. It's something I really appreciated :) don't ever make her fight for your attention with other people or other stuff. Enjoy your own life and your own time with friends and yes the occasional game and your movies, I know you love them :) it's important to have a balance! If you're angry, just call for a timeout, tell her you need a bit of time and when both of you have cooled off, you can talk things through rationally. Trust me, it'll mean the world to her :) don't abruptly disappear okay, it'll make her worried sick and possibly even angrier. Don't let each other sleep angry. Always make up before sleeping and remind each other that even if you're angry, you love each other. It's okay to love someone yet be angry with them. So Long as the matter is resolved and there is understanding of what happened and what can be done next time. He loves when he can Lay his head on your chest so he can hear your heartbeat, it calms him. Just hold him tight and don't say a word. He loves gifts. Receiving gifts is his love language. So surprise him with little things now and then. He's a sucker for star wars and panda bears, they're his Favourite. When he's sad, remind him that he can get a nice juicy steak at the supermarket. With some fancy cheese and maybe Some keropok. It's his happy food. And sparkling juice in those wine bottles. Remember those. He's very very ticklish and as much as he squirms whenever you Try, just have a tickle war with him now and then, you'll see him laugh his head off and he'll smile :) don't lick him and touch him tho, it's funny but he doesn't like it. Encourage him to study and read and let him tell you stories of whatever he just learnt, he's a great story teller when it comes to these things and you'll learn so much, trust me. Write him letters. So that when you have to go overseas or smth he'll always have that piece of you to return to. Hold his hand proud. He likes kisses more than hugs so shower him with them, especially little kisses all over his face. You'll see how much he loves it. Most of the time he likes to nua in bed so if you Two do get the chance, enjoy the nua time with him :) Encourage him to go out with his friends, sometimes he can be a bit stubborn but that's where you have to be even more stubborn. He may not want to but when he's with them watching movies and eating and talking cock, he'll have fun :) he's terrified of roller coasters though, don't make him go for too many or else he'll get nauseous. He loves walking so go on walking dates with him. Places with a beautiful skyline! His weakness. Baby him now and then. He needs some time to let his guard down and to just rest from life. Babying him and holding him will definitely help. He will send you lots and lots of songs, listen to them. They tell you things that he wants to say to you. Sometimes you have to hold him back when there's a crying baby on the bus or the train HAHA Theres so many things about him but that's for you to find out. Find someone who can guide you spiritually, I know it'll mean so so much to you. Take some time to sit in the masjid and just be at peace. Spend hours there. It used to calm you so much. Sketch again!! Your sketches are beautiful and you used to love spending time on them cause painting was expensive. Find your drive and your motivation again!! But make sure you're doing this for yourself. Not for anybody else. Because you deserve the drive in life. It pushes you further and further. Be the responsible young man I know you are :) stand strong in due time, find the drive you once had and take care of yourself. That's the most important. If we don't take care of our own selves then who will? So many things I always wished I could tell you. But I couldn't. Because I started living in fear of when you would get angry at me again. Fear of when would I catch you doing things secretly again. Fear of promises not coming through. Fear of my inadequacies that push you to be secretive. Fear of the paranoia I felt that I shouldn't be feeling in a relationship. So much fear. Me living in fear is not good for me, neither is it good or fair for you. You threaten to talk about me in a poor light. To constantly remind me that I walked away. But I stayed. I stayed and I stayed. But you kept walking away. You kept hurting me, knowing what I felt. Intentional or not, ignorance or not, whatever happened happened. And I am entitled to what I feel. I hope one day you'll understand. Trust me it's hard on me. So so hard. It was the first time I trusted a man with my heart. The first time I let my guard down so much with a male figure. So many memories. So much emotions. I invested my whole self into this relationship. I was prepared to deal with being beaten up, thrown out and disowned. Being hunted down and possible hurt by your side. Because I deserved happiness and that was you. I envisioned a future together. But with everything that's happened, I couldn't. And I'm sorry. I need to take care of myself. I can't keep hurting emotionally and physically anymore. So no, it wasn't easy to just walk away. I didn't just walk away. You're a precious boy and I hope you find the same spark as you once had. Open your heart and be open minded. I'm not perfect. I'm broken and crazy. But there's someone else who's going to be out there. Open your heart and open your mind. Build yourself and love yourself. We are both growing and learning. I am genuinely sorry for all the times I've fucked up or broken you or hurt you throughout the course of our relationship. I was trying my very best, I swear I was but I'm bound to fuck up and I apologise sincerely and wholeheartedly.

[beyondthefloor]

Dear Parent,

Dear Parent,

Your kid joined a high level, nationally competitive program. You had to sign a fucking 16 page membership manual and commitment contract in order to even get the kid to participate - and you just signed that motherfucker without reading it, didn’t you? It’s okay, I’ll give you the crash course: Why yes, I do look young to be a coach. In fact, I am young. Shut the fuck up about that and look at my results. I’m 100% more qualified to be your kids coach than you are at doing whatever you do for a living. I bet you didn’t compete internationally and gain relative fame in human resources, Karen. How many national championships has your accounting department won under your direction, Steve? None? Weird. I bet you can’t even motivate them to clean out the coffee pot at the end of the day. You don’t know shit about what makes a good coach. I don’t want to hear your idea. You literally have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. Don’t email me your suggestion for new team apparel or for a fun new training exercise for us to do. This isn’t girl scouts where the moms can participate as troop leaders and pretend they have superior knowledge about birdseed or some shit. You’re wasting my time. You know why I don’t work with children? Because I hate children. You might enjoy this weird “my kid is a teenager but also just a BABY” thing because you have an undiagnosed mental problem, but some of us are trying to teach your teenager fundamental adult life skills. You can cling to a photo album at home or something - stop getting in my fucking way. When I say the student has to email me if they can’t be at rehearsal, I mean the student. That’s the one who’s younger and attends high school. When I send them a disciplinary email for the sake of record keeping and CC you so everyone is on the same page, the last line ALWAYS says “[Name], I’m CCing your parents on this email so we’re all on the same page, but please be aware that this is your responsibility entirely.” Responding telling your kid you’re going to “get through this together” is both insane and counterproductive. YOUR KID DOESN’T NEED YOU TO HELP THEM “GET THROUGH” THIS BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING TO GET THROUGH. They broke a rule and I called them out - this is called accountability. And so help me if you express it’s not their fault. Yes, it fucking is. You’re making them worse at being a person and therefore you are a shitty fucking parent. Competitions are not family time. You don’t get to come into our team space. This isn’t dance moms. I will have you removed. If your kid comes home and complains that I was “mean” or I “made them do PT” or I “said they didn’t do it right” I need you to really think about that for a fucking second before you hop on your keyboard to type me an 8 paragraph email about how upset your darling is. Your freshman is probably really bad at things. You literally pay money to this program so that they can be better at things. Did you think that would happen through magic? I know they did because they’re fourteen and they have no idea what’s happening until next year but DID YOU GENUINELY THINK your young teenager with no experience was just going to be infallible? Have you ever been outside your home? I’m assuming so, so this shouldn’t be a hard concept for you to understand. If I told your kid to stop being a little bitch, sure thing, send me an email. Report me, whatever the fuck you do in that situation. If I told your kid they need to have a better push up posture and then called them out for not applying the correction GUESS WHAT. THAT’S MY LITERAL JOB. You’re emailing me to tell me that I did my job, and somehow you’re complaining about it. The calendar is accessible to you in six different ways. Jesus fucking christ stop asking me about the calendar. I’m not just going to randomly change it and be like SURPRISE WHOLE NEW CALENDAR TO SHAKE THINGS UP because that’s insane and I am not the insane one in our relationship. Stop teaching your kid to make excuses. When they’re with me their sore toe or whatever the fuck isn’t a huge deal because no one turns it into a deal at all. When they come back and freak out because their “broken toe” is “in so much pain” I know it’s you who did that. If you keep your kid home from practice because they have allergies but they went to school that day you are actually satan. If you bring them to the doctor because they have a bruise or twisted ankle you are lucky to have such nice health insurance. I teach these people classes in understanding and taking care of their bodies with a focus on care for injuries and stretching. They’re fucking fine. Let them get a bump without calling the mayor. I don’t work for you, nor do I work for your kid. Who the fuck put that idea in your head? I will remove you immediately from any event if I hear you spout bigotry, and I will ask you to not return until you can control your mouth. God help you if that bigotry is directed towards one of my students. Idk who you’re regularly communicating with that you think you can send me the same copy/pasted email asking me a question every hour on the hour until I answer you, but that’s not the way things work outside of your head. I don’t sit at my computer waiting for you to ask me the location of the next show (which is on your calendar you never look at because you’re a dirty microwave of a human being). If you describe coaching on this level as a “fun light hobby” I immediately hate you more than anything in the entire world. While you’re sitting on your fucking ass at home watching the Bachelor and old Tiger Woods interviews (oh yeah I know about that, your kid talks about you) I’m training teenagers to be mentally and physically prepared to compete and win. I’m out of the house doing 14 hour workdays so your kid can have enough evening rehearsal time during the week, I give up my Saturdays, and I spend my “free time” planning. I have to answer your goddamn emails. The health, safety, success, and a significant portion of the growth of these teenagers comes from my influence and the program I run. It’s not some casual picnic I’m showing up to that we can laugh about together. If I have a stellar relationship with your offspring, BE HAPPY THERE’S AN ADULT IN THEIR LIFE THEY CAN TRUST. I cannot count the number of times I’ve had a kid crying in my office because they couldn’t handle a situation on their own but didn’t want to talk to their parent about it for whatever reason. I’m not running some popularity contest here. I want your kid to be their best - even when it has nothing to do with me or my team. Try it sometime. Also, as an addition to this one, STOP BEING SHITTY. Your homosexual child knows you’re avoiding them because you know they’re going to come out soon. Your 18 year old is scared to have safe sex because she thinks you will literally harm her physically if you catch her with condoms. Your stepdaughter got into a fistfight because she’s frustrated that you drug test her every morning despite the fact that she’s never done drugs. Finally, you’re welcome. You’re welcome for the hours upon hours of hard labor that go into making sure your kid has somewhere they feel challenged and successful and comfortable. You’re welcome for talking to your kid like they’re a human being, respecting them, and asking for nothing but their attendance and honest attempts during rehearsal. You’re welcome for giving them their college recommendation letters, making sure they get into national honor society, making sure they have scholarships and accolades to mention on their applications, and for being their reference for their first jobs. You’re welcome for teaching them how to go to an interview, how to handle stress, how to address physical and mental ailments, and how to act professional in public. You’re welcome for fucking loving them, protecting them, teaching them, wiping their tears, and waking up every day trying to do right by them. You’re fucking welcome. Love, Coach

[jesseneufeld]

Is 50 the New 70? How the Modern Lifestyle Is Remaking Middle Age

“Do not go gentle into that good night.” That’s one of my favorite lines in all of literature, and it informs my outlook on health, life, wellness, and longevity.

Live long, drop dead. Compression of morbidity. Vitality to the end. All that good stuff.

But I’m sorry to report that Dylan Thomas imploring you to assail life with boldness is becoming harder for the average person to fulfill and embody. People more than ever before are heading into middle age with a head-start on the degenerative changes to body composition and function that used to only hit older folks. They may want to go boldly into that good night, but their bodies probably won’t be cooperating.

Ignore the standouts for a moment. I’m not talking about that awesome granny you saw deadlifting her bodyweight on Instagram or the centenarian sprinter smoking the competition. I’m not talking about the celebrities with personal trainers and access to the latest and greatest medical technologies. I’m referring to the general trend in the greater population. All signs point to average men and women alike having more fragile bones, weaker muscles, and worse postures at a younger age than their counterparts from previous eras.

What Signs Point This Way?

Low Bone Density

These days, more men than ever before are developing the signs of osteoporosis at an earlier age. In fact, one recent study found that among 35-50 year olds, men were more likely than women to have osteopenia—lower bone mineral density—at the neck.

Why?

Osteoporosis used to be a “woman’s disease,” lower estrogen after menopause being the primary cause. That’s rather understandable; estrogen is a powerful modulator of bone metabolism in women, and a natural decline in estrogen will lead to a natural decline in bone density. Men’s bone density has a similar relationship with testosterone; as a man’s testosterone declined, so does his bone density. As long as a man or woman entered the decline with high bone density, the decline wouldn’t be as destructive.

But here’s the thing: these days, both men and women are starting the decline with lower bone density. In women and men, peak bone mass attainment occurs during puberty. In girls, that’s about ages 11-13. In boys, it’s later. Puberty sets up our hormonal environment to accumulate healthy amounts of bone mineral density—but we have to take advantage of that window.

One of the main determinants of bone density accumulation is physical activity. If you’re an 11-year-old girl or a 16-year-old boy and you’re not engaging in regular physical activity—running, jumping, throwing, lifting, playing—you will fail to send the appropriate signals to your body to begin amassing bone mass. And once that developmental window closes, and you didn’t spend it engaging in lots of varied movement, it’s really hard to make up for all the bone mineral density you didn’t get.

But you can certainly improve bone mineral density at any age. Even the elderly can make big gains by lifting weights, walking frequently, or even doing something a simple as regular hopping exercises. The problem is that physical activity is down across all ages.

Children are spending more time indoors using devices than outdoors playing. They aren’t walking to school or roaming around outdoors with friends getting into trouble. If they’re active, they’re more likely to be shuttled from soccer practice to ballet to music lessons. Their movement is prescribed rather than freely chosen. Hour-long chunks of “training” rather than hours and hours of unstructured movement…

Not just kids, either. Sedentary living is up in everyone.

So there are two big issues:

Kids are squandering the developmental window where they should be making the biggest gains in bone density.

Adults are leading sedentary lives, squandering the lifelong window we all have to increase bone density.

Another reason men are having newfound problems with low bone mineral density is that a generational drop in testosterone has been observed. Twenty years go, men of all ages had higher testosterone levels than their counterparts today, meaning an average 50-year-old guy in 1999 had higher testosterone than an average 50-year-old guy in 2019. Testosterone will decline with age. That’s unavoidable. But something other than aging is also lowering testosterone—and bone density—across the board.

Experts are now recommending that young men use night lights, avoid throw rugs on the floor, and do pre-emptive physical therapy—all to reduce the risk of tripping, falling, and breaking something. That is absolutely tragic. This shouldn’t be happening.

Text Neck

The smartphone is a great tool with incredible potential to transform lives, economies, and personal capacities. But it can wreck your posture if you’re not careful and mindful.

Try this. Pick up your phone and compose a text message. Do it without thinking. Now hold that position and go look at yourself in a mirror. What do you see?

Head jutting forward, tilted down.

Upper back rounded, almost hunched.

Shoulders internally rotated.

Now spend 6-8 hours a day in this position. Add a few more if you work on a computer. Add another 15-20 minutes if you take your phone into the bathroom with you. Add an hour if you’re the type to walk around staring at your phone.

It all starts to sound a little ridiculous, doesn’t it?

Not only are people spending their days sitting and standing with their spine contorted, they’re staring down at their phones while walking. This is particularly pernicious. They’re training their body to operate in motion with a suboptimal, subhuman spinal position. They’re making it the new normal, forcing the body to adapt. And it is subhuman. Humans are bipeds, hominids that tower over the grasslands, able to scan for miles in every direction, perceive oncoming threats, plot their approach, stand upright and hold the tools at the ready. What would a Pleistocene hunter-gatherer of 20,000 years ago make of the average 25-year-old hunchback shuffling along, nose pointed toward the ground? What would your grandfather make of it?

It used to be that the only person with a kyphotic, hunchback posture was pushing 70 or 80 years old. And even in that age group, it was relatively rare. Nowadays young adults, teens, and even kids have the posture.

Physical Weakness

Interest in effective fitness and healthy eating and CrossFit and paleo and keto and everything else we talk about is at an all-time high, and all your friends on Instagram seem to be drinking bone broth and doing squats, so you’d think that people are getting stronger and waking up from all the crazy conventional wisdom that society has foisted upon us over the years. They’re not, though. That’s the view from inside the Internet bubble. This explosion in ancestral health and fitness is a reaction to the physical ineptitude and torpor enveloping the modern world. A small but growing group of people are discovering the keys to true health and wellness because the world at large has become so backwards.

And no matter how many CrossFit gyms pop up or people you see walking around in yoga pants, the average adult today is weaker than the average adult from twenty years ago. That’s the real trend. It probably doesn’t apply to you, my regular reader, but it does apply to people you know, love, and work with. Here’s the reality:

Grip strength—one of the better predictors of mortality we have—of 20-34 year old men and women has declined since 1985, so much that they’re “updating the normative standards” for grip strength. Even 6-year-olds are weaker today.

New recruits in the military are weaker than recruits from previous eras. They’re even having trouble “throwing grenades.”

Everywhere you look—Lithuania, Portugal, Sweden, to name just a few—kids, teens, and adults of all ages are failing to hit the normative standards of strength and fitness established in older eras. People are getting weaker, softer, and less fit earlier than ever before.

Don’t let this happen to you. Don’t let it happen to the people you care about. You have the chance, the duty to your future self to go boldly into that good night, rather than wither and dwindle and fall apart. And it starts today, right now, right here. Do one thing today. What will it be?

How are you guys fighting the ravages of age and gravity? What are you going to do today to ensure you’ll go boldly into older age?

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References:

Bass MA, Sharma A, Nahar VK, et al. Bone Mineral Density Among Men and Women Aged 35 to 50 Years. J Am Osteopath Assoc. 2019;119(6):357-363.

Fain E, Weatherford C. Comparative study of millennials’ (age 20-34 years) grip and lateral pinch with the norms. J Hand Ther. 2016;29(4):483-488.

Larson CC, Ye Z. Development of an updated normative data table for hand grip and pinch strength: A pilot study. Comput Biol Med. 2017;86:40-46.

Venckunas T, Emeljanovas A, Mieziene B, Volbekiene V. Secular trends in physical fitness and body size in Lithuanian children and adolescents between 1992 and 2012. J Epidemiol Community Health. 2017;71(2):181-187.

Marques EA, Baptista F, Santos R, et al. Normative functional fitness standards and trends of Portuguese older adults: cross-cultural comparisons. J Aging Phys Act. 2014;22(1):126-37.

Ekblom B, Engström LM, Ekblom O. Secular trends of physical fitness in Swedish adults. Scand J Med Sci Sports. 2007;17(3):267-73.

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