#and I did get tested for Covid today
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if i have covid i will be very annoyed
#can't believe i went 4 years w/o having it (or at the very least if i did i never had symptoms or tested postive) and now i (might) have it#i have an appt to get a covid test today at 4:50 and i kinda don't know what outcome i'm hoping for tbh#bc like if it's positive then i know what it is and can treat it but if it's negative then it's a mystery (or it's still covid and idk)#my posts#.txt
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bf says ive been going thru it and doing really well at that. bursts into tears.
#im like a toddler that needs a nap except ive badly needed a nap every minute of every day for a week because covid#and im trying really hard#im actually really okay. i don't have my first math test for another week and two days and if i did terrible on#the bio test today my lowest test grade gets dropped and it's okay. it's okay. it's okay.#i am recovering and working and in a class that is very hard for me and i miss simon so bad. i was too tired to drive last weekend#and couldn't go the one prior to that bc covid obviously#it's okay it's okay it's okay#also im getting the depo provera shot in november. i'm fully over it#also the fatigue is getting better by the day. it's okay. it's okay#getting the shot. seeing si on friday. my math prof is very kind and understands that i'm struggling and wants to help. fatigue is getting#better. turns out i don't have work tomorrow. im gonna play valo w seity sometime soon that will be SO fun.#new comfy desk chair. im gonna put something on and work thru my math hw and submit questions without feeling bad about it#it's okay it's okay it's okay it's okay. im being sooo brave.#he also said it's insane that i've had to work this week because i'm very much still symptomatic. it got me really good this time#the initial sickness wasn't nearly as severe as the last time i had covid but this one is more drawn out#im still having sinus symptoms/pain on top of the fatigue. cried in my car both days that i worked 👍 it's okay. it's okay
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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#For some reason i have 'the adults are talking' on loop in my head#I think it played a few times at work today maybe that's why#Anyway... Bedtime#I officially have a cold#I did an antigen test and it isn't covid but who knows#I think we're all now more likely to get colds than before because of covid#It sucks#Last time I had a cold was in October so not too long ago#Ah well#I'll sleep a few hours
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i'm sorry for being kinda slow with replies, reblogs, messages, comms etc! ,, i've been feeling so sick lately :'D
#i did the art test and it's not covid but it feels a lot like covid ajsjdjdk#i had a fever for the past 3 days;;#i love the winter season but god i get sick so often#coupled with my victorian child-ass immune system;; it's troublesome lol#i feel a bit better today so i'll try to do as much as possible!#hydn.txt
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I’ve had covid for the last week and I’ve gotta go back to work tomorrow. At the start I joked that I would get so much drawing done, and all I’ve done is this Jasper doing an incorrectly drawn navy salute
#baby’s first covid#the rest of these tags are just gonna be me venting#y’all would not believe how much of a fuck around it was to get my 5 days of isolation#I’ve said this a lot over the last 6 days but you’d think they wouldn’t want someone with covid cleaning an eating area. which is my job#and guess who covered half my shifts? the other worker who tested positive the same day I did#I have such an issue with my new supervisor and how my workplace is run. I’m 🤏 close to quitting (alas#the plan is to get top surgery and then dip)#but yeah. anyway. wish me luck and let’s hope I’m not still contagious (I always wear a mask and sanitise anyway)#if any of the customers or workers ask where I’ve been or why I’m working slow. I’ll be 100% honest and say I’m recovering from covid#‘’yeah I may still be infectious I don’t know‘’#I tried to get Monday/tuesday off on Saturday and was ignored for 27 hours and the answer was ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ill give you a call at 8#didn’t get the call so I called at 8:20 and was like ‘I’m not feeling great’ and the supervisor said she would cover my shift but didn’t#I never got told if I had Monday off. so I assumed I did. then today (Tuesday) got laughed at when I said if no one can cover I’ll go#so I got today off too. but I was asked if I could work Thursday which was the day after I tested positive.#I had Thursday off for my top surgery consultation. which had to get rescheduled. I didn’t even think I had covid 😭 I just wanted to be#responsible and test myself before an appointment. then I had a fever that afternoon. wild ride#anyways. I’m gonna try sleep.
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#I held out as long as I could but I finally had to resign today#my boss is just too nice to lay me off even though my work produces almost no business value 😭#like they just did a reorg of the teams that means QA will be stretched too thin over devs#and he’s not allowed to hire any more manual testers#this is not the same situation I was hired into!#I’m a ‘nice to have’ type of employee and they managed without my role for a while#I COULD have made myself indispensable in the last year but I couldn’t be bothered#I was busy writing fanfic and having a baby#not to mention the health shit like my wife getting covid and stranding us at my sister’s house across the country#or my older kid being hospitalized twice for respiratory failure!#so I just did the bare minimum IF THAT#and now a year later it’s all THE YEAR OF EFFICIENCY and all that bullshit#just like the rest of tech right now. bunch of dumbass capitalist copycats…#if my manager weren’t such a good dude he’d have offered my role in exchange for the manual testing hire(s) he CLEARLY needs#I really hope that my resignation helps him either get the new hire he wants or protect the rest of the department from layoffs!!!#I’m so glad I finally got it over with 😭#I start my new job in May so I’ll have a couple weeks to chill!!!
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if i get covid a third time bc one of my instructors didnt tell us he had it before class im gonna start biting people
#Statement.txt#like not to get persona or negative on main but im really just. exhausted#got to class and he was like 'oh yeah 'ronas going around btw i tested negative but i did test positive recently'#sir. i am disabled. my family is disabled. this could get bad for us#both of my parents use inhalers bc they caught covid last summer and its STILL affecting them im gonna scream#hell we're still recovering from getting RSV back in JUNE.#no one wears masks anymore where i live. im the only one who wore a mask to school today#OUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH yknow
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today has been a really long and incredibly stressful day and my dad's okay now, but my mom had to take him to the ER tonight because he's been having some issues and needed to get checked out and he also fell today so they went and did that
as soon as they get back and were trying to get into the house i guess the last of my dad's energy just gave out and he just kinda sunk down to his knees and then slowly slid onto the floor and neither of us could get him up
we tried to help him grab onto his wheelchair and work with him but he just couldn't do it and neither of us were strong enough to lift him without making things worse
our family friend is out of town and my mom tried calling another friend but nobody was able to come so we had EMS come out and thankfully two guys were able to lift him into his chair and help us get him into bed and settled
he's finally resting after a long, long fucking day and my mom's going to take off work tomorrow so she can be with him
i am...beyond exhausted so i am also going to go to sleep and hope to god tomorrow's a better day
#he got a new oxygen machine recently and we're wondering if maybe the level is too high now#she's going to talk to one of his doctors tomorrow and see what he says#but with his condition and everything it's possible that's what's the cause is because ever since we got that thing#it's like he's been going downhill where he had just started to make a turn around#and they did a bunch of lab work and stuff on him tested him for covid and everything and he's not sick#but he's just been acting bizarre lately and then everything today#he also slept a lot yesterday almost like he was in a coma#i kept checking on him and even tried to wake him up a few times#because at that point i was worried he wouldn't sleep through the night and i know that throws him off#but he was dead asleep and normally he's not like that#so i dunno#all i know is i've been scared out of my fucking wits multiple times today#and have cried a shit ton#and just...yeah#oh also when they went to the er i stayed behind to hold down the fort and take care of the pupper#so i thought okay let me go get in the pool for a little bit to decompress and calm down#should be fine it's been sunny all day long#wouldn't ya know it a fucking storm started blowing in right as i got in the water#but that's fine#i got in for a few minutes at least and that helped#and now i'm gonna sleep and that'll help too#and tomorrow's going to be a different fucking day than this one and that's all i can ask for
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i got sick )::: everybody say get well soon ari
#i tested negative for covid today luckily but i havent had just Regular sickness in a long time i HATE IT TOO#and it makes me depressed that today was the behinning so tomorrow willprobably be worse 😭#but i drank my cough shrup im going sleep and tomorrow i can drink the day cough syrup and feel FINE….#And im like where the fuck did i even get sick i barely leave the house 😭😭😭
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seems like we are at the crying part of the illness.
#we can postpone cjristmas#gonna talk in da tags for a bit because a post full of perosmal info feels so gross#ive been crying on and off for hours. km so upset being atuck in my fucking room with covid while nobody else is sick at all#and im glad nonody is sick im just so fucking lonely#started symptoms on friday#twsted neg fri and sat. didnt test sundah cause i dont have a lot. tested monday and was psorive#literally slept with my bf all of those nights#shared weed pen on sunday with ofher roommate#nobody else is sick#i just feel so sad and tired. im used to himan or cat affection daily and ive had none. i feel so lonley and trapped#i did everythjng right to avoid being sick and my bf was also with me that whole day and he didnt get sick#i feel stupid weak and pathetic for gettinf sixk. i dont have symptoms anymore but atill positive#im so fucking sad and i can hear people hanging out and they are havjng fun and im glad but im jealous#im so sad and lonely. i want to wrap things for christmas and do more stockjng sruffer shopping. i want to watch movjes with people#i love holidays because i love to hang out with my friends and i fucking cant amd today especially its really tearing me up#my bf is upset that im no communicating and hes trying to cheer me up but everything is making me misribke and i dont know how to stop it#i like to do things for people when theyre sick and i know everyone isnt like me but it hurts to not have that done for me#offering to order food is nice bjt j want skmething made for me but nkbody is as good as i am at making things and i dont want to ask#i dont want to bother people but im literally breakkng down today. cant atop fucjing crying and i feel weak and pathetic. stupid#i tried so hard not to get sick and they are saying o dont want to fucking do that#id rather everyone open stockjngs and do presents without me because im tired of not saying what i got people i want tk show people#i like wrapping gifts and nobody wants me to toich anything because of cocid so others are wrapping things from me for me#i dont know its all very stupid but i feel very alone but also dont want people joking at me to make me feel better. im just mad and sad#ok im done now:) ill post a drawing later#nap time#text
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congrats to me for not having covid i just worked too much this week and feel like shit
#i did take a covid test im not just saying that and am aware of the possibility for false negatives#but ive already taught 3 days this week and my throat hurts so it’s probably from that#and i have my actual regular teaching today lol ive just been subbing and now my i get to see my own kids#im also exhausted rip#need to get my shit together and pack my lunch tho i have to leave in like 25 min bc i have to go in early for interviews
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#so I’m back on my meds#the ones that actually help but have HELLA side effects#started losing weight almost right away#didn’t notice I wasn’t eating until I was getting the tingles and losing vision a couple days in#been focusing on forcing myself to eat#but yesterday I made the mistake of smoking bc I was feeling a bit better#BAD idea#was making hot chocolate when my blood pressure just plummeted#made it to the living room and put myself in recovery postition#I don’t think I fully lost consciousness bc I stayed kneeling#but I lost time but when I was are again I was still kneeling and usually I’d be on my side after fully losing consciousness#but it also lasted a full like 45 minutes where I couldn’t sit up or move#it took about two hours before I was able to make it back upstairs#I texted my dad to let him know what was going on just in case but he missed my texts so I also reached out to another friend#and asked them to check in after a bit to make sure I was still awake#which they did and I was#but now today I just took my temp on a whim bc I’ve been really warm all day#turns out I have a fever of 100.6 which isn’t super high but is high for me#and like that definitely partially explains yesterday#took a Covid test and came back negative#this really kinda sucks#mood: great#energy: more than normal#BUT dizzy can’t stop shaking keep getting spots in vision and have visibly lost weight#like. . . I feel like I could actually DO things and I WANT to do things thanks to these meds#but body clearly has other ideas#anyway I’ve only been back on them like a week and a half the side effects will start to subside in a few more weeks and I’ll be okay#but I gotta keep reminding myself to eat bc last time I was on these I lost 14lbs in about a month#anyway just me rambling about health#personal
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#i did a covid test last friday and got so angry because there was a printing error and some of the instruction in french were in german.#and german was missing. and dutch was mixed with italian.#i had to read in dutch the part that was missing in french to make sure i was using the correct times#anyways. so today i do a new test. turns out there's no printing mistake i just had 39.4°C of fever and could not handle the instructions#it's both funny and scary bc at the time i really didnt realise i was that confused.#anyways be safe and get your booster bc being sick make u dumb af <33
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I've lived alone for quite some time now, and I'm still not used to getting sick on my own. It's tough.
When I feel the worst coming in, I know I have a limited amount of time to set myself up. So as the ache works its way into my bones, and as the symptoms begin to ramp up, I have to get to work. I put my favorite drinks in the fridge. Fill up my biggest water bottles and put them next to my bed and couch. Put the easily accessible snacks and foods within reach. Run out to the store quick if I need any additional medication or foodstuffs. Pull down the best blankets and pillows. Get out the thermometer and pulseox and my journal for symptoms, medication timing, stats. It's like putting sandbags up for a hurricane.
Then I have to hunker down and wait for the storm to pass, alone. And when I need something, anything, even comfort, it's up to me to make it happen.
#yes this is me whinging about a cold#went and got my flu/covid double tests today both negative#needed fresh cough drops but otherwise it's me and my soup against the world#when did soup get so expensive btw#I remember it used to be THE pantry-stocking food#now a mainstream brand that's not even 'healthy' or 'nice' is upwards of $4/can#I usually don't pay that much for any meal these days lol like bro what
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someone save me helllpppppp
#kiwi shares their thoughts#not in real danger just severely overworked and stressed atm#much work to do almost no time to do ANY of it#i’m stuck playing catch up somehow??? when its only been like 2 and a half weeks since school’s started???#and i haven’t really missed any school???#idk man i’m falling behind in ap calc (was kinda alr behind)#ap bio work keeps piling up#because i was absent for half of my asl class today i had to make up like 3 assignments that we did in there#there’s ap lang assignments due friday that i will have literally no time to work on bc sports (thank god i got an extension)#but now i have to spend ANOTHER weekend doing school work#i literally have not had a weekend to have me time since school started#we’re hosting saturday too so i doubt i’ll get much done then that day#my september schedule is so full it’s about to explode#i have to sign up for like 20000 things (hyperbole) and my extracurriculars are only adding to the workload#(being vp for a club and also trying to help start up a school newspaper w only four people is ROUGH)#i have college recruiter meetings and i need to schedule an orientation at a shelter i want to volunteer at#i have to worry about preparing for my driving test#and the straw that broke the camel’s back is that when i get home from sports i immediately do chores then homework and then eat + shower#and suddenly my friend group is having issues and i don’t have the bandwidth to deal with ANY of that shit rn#so like#I HAVENT HAD TIME TO GO TO TAEKWONDO ALL WEEK#IM MISSING OUR BELT CEREMONY BC I HAVE A MATCH TMMR#I WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE SALSA IN COOKING TODAY BUT I HAD TO GO PLAY SPORTS INSTEAD 😭#oh yes and my brother has covid i just found out like an hour ago#im negative w no symptoms thank goodness#oh AND the picture lady for picture day didn’t tell me my fucking bra strap fell off one shoulder when i took my picture#so now a perfectly good picture looks wack af bc my right shoulder is bare and my left one has a strap and it is NOT cute 😭#that’s my yearbook photo dude gives guy a heads up abt stuff like that 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#n e ways life is kicking my ass but all i want is for it to tuck me in give me a kiss on the forehead and tell me “i love you”
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