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#and I do too so I chose film school once I was able to pay for it on my own bc
myloveismineallmine · 9 months
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Just watched It's a Wonderful Life and I have so many thoughts... it's so interesting to compare it to the modern christmas movies we see. Many are those lifetime romances about a business woman who visits her hometown for christmas and gives up her job in new york/seattle/chicago/LA/ insert some other metropolitan city here so she can marry a more "traditional" hometown man and stay in that community. I've seen some people point out how it feels very traditionalist and almost anti-feminist and I'm inclined to agree.
I think they tried to elicit the themes from IWL but got completely lost in the sauce. The protagonist is a man who had always dreamed of traveling the world and getting out of his shitty small town. But multiple times he is given the opportunity to escape to bigger cities, and each time he choses to stay behind. Not because he personally wants to, he craves a life bigger than he has. And not for anything like romance, either. He stays because the community needs him to stand up to corporate greed and be a leader for them. After his brother comes back from school, he is once again offered an opportunity to escape via putting his brother in his position to run the family business. But he lets his brother move away because he sees that his brother has already started a life elsewhere and is very happy. This selfless action is rewarded for the protagonist when his brother later saves hundreds of lives during WW2 and becomes a national hero. The protagonist sacrifices his own honeymoon money so that the community will have enough money to get by when the bank goes under. He is rewarded by getting a brief ego boost when the villain of the film fails to shut down his company. Even when the villain offers the main protagonist a job with high pay to support his struggling family, the protagonist stands his ground and continues to live a poor life while also being able to help people in his community build houses and businesses. The main protagonist is offered many "outs" to live a better life, and yet he chooses to not take them because he is selfless and knows his community needs him.
This is one of the main differences, I think. Hallmark/Lifetime movies think romance is a justifiable means of sacrificing a "better" life. And maybe it is, though I think the actors should have chemistry if they want that to be true. But despite having romance, IWL is not about sacrificing your dreams to get married in a small town. It's about sacrificing your dreams to help build a community and fight against corporate greed. Which is why IWL feels less like a Christian traditionalist propaganda, despite having religious themes. The protagonist does throw away his lofty aspirations, but it's not just for one person, it's to bring a whole community together and to stand up against an actual evil (monopolistic capitalism.) They even show you how shitty things are when there's no one there to do that!
In short. Modern christmas movies usually miss the mark because they want to sell us a very white traditionalist heterosexual romance celebrating America's most consumerist holiday. Any actual critique on the problems within our society= too much of a risk. Too hard to thinky about. Brain hurty from actual deep topics and not just "love good, small towns good, urbanism BAD!!!"
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I wish this trip never ends (sstbthw part 2) - h.h
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Word count: 3768
Warning: angst, swear, mention of smoking
Pairing : harry holland
Request: no.
N/A: okay, i took me almost a whole month to write this but i'm kinda need to work on school too. Remember, english is not my first language, so be kind if you spot mistakes, i really tried my best. I asked you who the reader was supposed to end up with ... I'll let you figure it out but ... don't hate me for the end ... because after all ... it might not be the end. Don’t hesitate to tell me what you think of the fic! Love you all! xx
taglist : @angeliquekalampoka , @harryhollandsgirlfriend (the one and only harry holland's girlfriend to me)
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previously - and you can find part 3
Restoring a relationship of trust and regaining the bond that you both had was particularly difficult. You had to learn to find your place in Harrison's life, but also in his relationship with Grace. You were roommates and friends, but it was complicated to plan meetings with Harrison's busy schedule. Between his job search after the cancellation of his Netflix series, his photo shoots, his dates with Grace, those with his family. It was getting harder and harder to find a moment to reunite with the two of you. It was without counting your schedule.
You were supposed to meet at noon for lunch at that restaurant Harrison told you about where he took his mother earlier this year, for Mother's Day. You felt uncomfortable going to such a place. It was very fancy; you had taken a look at the menu and you knew in advance that you would not be able to afford to split the bill. That was sometimes one of the downsides of being friends with Tom and Harrison. They sometimes forgot that their salary was significantly higher than yours. After all, they were still simple, good-natured guys, never saying no to a quick takeout meal or ordering pizza, drinking a beer at the local pub. And sometimes, they offered to go to prestigious places, not paying attention to money, wanting to please their friends or family.
Currently you were in your room. You were throwing countless of clothes across the room, trying to choose what you could wear to this lunch. Harry stopped dead when one of your dresses flew out of your room, right in front of his nose, blocking his way. You had left your door open and your spontaneity got the better of your best friend.
“Easy, Tiger. I had no idea your clothes had the capacity of Dr. Strange's cape.” He joked before coming into your bedroom.
You turned to find Harry leaning against your doorframe, a smirk encrusted on his face. You gave him an unamused frown and his smile widened. This wasn’t funny at all; you were stressed as hell. It’s not like you still had feelings for Harrison and try to impress him – to be honest, you still had feeling for your friend, but not as intense as before, you had drawn a definitive line on the possibility of a romantic relationship with him, which had helped you a lot. – But you didn’t want to be dressed down and looked like a clown.
“Come on Munchkin, it’s just a lunch. At worst, Harrison can still make it looks like he invited you out for charity, sort of “Make a Wish” event” Harry joked, in his significant humor.
“Go to hell, Robert. Don’t you have a pack bag to make, mister “I’m going to Spain to help my superstar brother to hold his tea while he’s filming”?”
“Rude… I’m a film director, now”
Not for that, you thought to yourself, but don't have the balls to tell your best friend. You didn't want to take this joke too far. You smiled at his cute pretending offended face. You pouted mockingly before biting your lip. You loved the dynamics of your relationship so much. Your humor, sarcasm, your outspokenness, that's what brought you together. Harry pulled you lightly from your closet with a comforting wink. He chose Yves Saint Laurent poppy red wool jersey flared pants that Tom gave you on your birthday. You smiled at his choice. You liked these pair of pants because they were sparkling with vitality, the color was flamboyant. Harry then gave you a satin pearl-colored shirt from Zara and you laughed at the drastic brand difference.
“Oh I see. A classy look but no more than £ 1000 that's pretty smart,” you joked.
The choice of your outfit once again proved the reality of hanging out with wealthy people. You were not poor; you could even be grateful for the life you had had. But it would never occur to you to give your friends clothes that were going over the miles and cents. To be honest, you wanted it. You wanted to live up to the gifts your friends sometimes gave you. But the truth seemed quite different: you had cried over the price of a used Rolex you wanted to give Tom for his birthday. Even having saved for 6 months, you could not afford such a gift.
“Shut up, don’t be so dramatic. Wear that necklace Harrison gave you for Christmas. I’m sure you’ll look fine”
“Thank you,Baz…I guess. ”
You kissed his cheek and then invited him out of your room so you could get ready. It didn't take you more than thirty minutes, time to put on the outfit your best friend had chosen and to put on light makeup. When you were finally ready, you walked to Tom's room. He had offered to take you to the restaurant where you were to join Harrison. But when you got to his ajar door, you could hear the soft sound of a slight snoring. You let out a chuckle before ordering an Uber. You knew he had spent almost a full month in Los Angeles and hadn't returned until early last week. You wanted to leave him as much as possible alone so that he could rest before his trip to Spain for the reshoots of his film Uncharted. Tom was a boy who loved being in touch with those close to him, but you also felt his need to recharge his batteries. That's why you preferred to let him sleep.
You went down to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water before leaving. When your Uber arrived, you left a note on the refrigerator to let the boys know you were safely gone. It was little everyday things that made you look normal that you enjoy. A post-it on the fridge, a table organizing household chores had been drawn up. Note to yourself; It was Harrison's turn to take care of the laundry.
☙♡❧
You had really hoped this was just a grotesque nightmare. That it wasn't real. He was going to arrive; he was just stuck into the traffic. Isn't it?
But you were there, waiting for over an hour and a half, without any news from your friend. Some people watched you with pity eyes, the others didn't give you any attention. You internally thank Harry for choosing your outfit. You didn't look like a lost kitten in this prestigious setting. It didn't prevent you from being ashamed right now. The waiter had urged you to order several times but you had told him that you were expecting someone, that he would arrive any minute. The last time, you didn't know if you were trying to convince him or yourself.
But it never happened. Harrison never came to your dinner. You were alone, sitting at a table, pathetically waiting for your friend to show up. It didn't look like him. He had never stand you up before. And not to improve this embarrassing moment, the waiter came to you again. This time, with a man in a suit. He was elegant, carried himself proud but diplomatic. They stopped at your table, a tight smile on their faces. No doubt the man in the suit was to be the manager.
"Miss, my employee told me that you seemed to have occupied this table for a while now. I am sorry to tell you that if you do not order a few things, you will have to leave the establishment"
You looked at him with misty eyes. You have never been so ashamed in your life. You just nod your head, not trusting your voice just yet. After taking a deep breath, you finally apologize to them before telling them that you are going to leave. The manager of the restaurant, out of politeness awkwardly apologizing for this uncomfortable situation.
You've finished the Dry Martini that you allowed yourself to, paying for it with whatever pride you have left. You pulled your cellphone out of your purse and decided to call one of the boys. After three rings, he picked up.
"Hey ... can you please pick me up?"
Your voice was shaky, you were so ashamed but it was less distressing than having to walk the Walk of Shame to your house or cry in an uber. You hung up and shared your location. You left the lobby, leaving the restaurant, standing in front of the entrance to the establishment. The air refreshed your cheeks burning with shame. Luckily it wasn't raining today. Which was pretty nice compared to that early summer you had had.
When you saw Harry's car pulled up in front of you, you slid into the passenger seat without a word. The curly redhead gave you a heartwarming smile but you definitely could see a spark of annoyance in his eyes. You sigh, resigned while shrugging your shoulders. It was obvious that your friendship with Harrison was still shaky.
"I'm sorry, love. He's a jerk about it."
Coincidentally, like a mitigating circumstance, your phone vibrated, receiving a notification from Harrison. You were chewing your lip with a sort of anguish and irritation, watching the message the blond had sent you.
"I'm sorry. So sorry. My agent called me for a pretty urgent casting briefing. She's detained me until now. Are you still okay for this dinner?"
You were angry. You were mature enough and had known the boys long enough to understand their obligations. The fact that Harrison had a lastminute meeting with his agent and missed your dinner wasn't a problem. The problem was, he made you wait for over an hour and a half before notifying you. You wanted him to call you to let you know, or a simple text just after he knew for the meeting. You typed a short answer, shorter than this was impossible. "No". You rested your head against the headrest, turning your gaze to your best friend.
"Hey, he's a Netflix star now" you replied to his last words.
Your voice cracked on the last syllables and your eyes filled with tears. You weren't usually that emotional but the anguish and shame really took over you. Harry noticed, unsure of how to instantly respond to your distress. He would have liked to stop on an emergency lane to take you in his arms but he already had 2 penalties to pay, respectively for speeding and prohibited parking ... a third fine would not be really welcome. He simply placed his hand on your thigh, drawing circles on your pants to comfort you. He simply moved his hand to shift gears and instantly rested it on your leg whenever he had the chance. This gesture soothed you, enjoying the touch, grateful to have someone as your best friend to mop up your pain.
☙♡❧
Arriving at the apartment, no sign of Harrison. When you walked in the kitchen, you saw Tom sitting at the counter, scrolling his phone. He looked up at you, not directly noticing your annoyed expression.
"Wow..you're ... gorgeous. I love these pants on you"
You smiled, a little amused by the compliment. Of course he loved the pants, it was a gift from him. But your smile didn’t reach your eyes. With a look on your expression then on the clock, the actor understood that something went wrong. Harry was right behind and still no trace of Harrison. It was suspicious. Tom gave you a worried look.
"Do I have to ask…Never mind, I’m still going to ask. How was lunch with Harrison?"
"I don't know, why don't you ask him? Oh wait... right, he didn't show up" you said sarcastically although you could hear the hurt in your voice.
Tom frowned, biting the inside of his lower lip in annoyance. Harrison was his best mate since forever and he knew him so well. It seemed strange from Harrison to not show up. The blond has told him he was happy to see you again and walking through this whole awkward “feeling situation” because he didn’t want to lose you. In a quick movement, he rose from his stool to walk around the counter. The next second, he took you in his comforting arms and you finally let yourself go under the sight of the two Holland brothers.
“It seems like you need a break of all this shit” Tom said while he ran his fingers through your hair.
You let a little laugh escape through your tears. He wasn't wrong. You really needed to get away from this whole situation for a moment. But how? Harry watched the scene unsure of what to do. You were his best friend and it seemed like the solace you found was never in his arms. He had tried in the car, however, as best he could. He walked over to the counter to make you both a cup of tea. It seems that as cliché as it sounds, tea comforts you, as the English person you used to be. As the redhead waited patiently for the water to boil, a flash of genius - according to him - crossed the glare of his eyes.
“Why doen't she come with us to Spain?”
His brother's words seemed to suit Tom, who released his hold on you. You opened your eyes wide, not sure of what you had just heard. Go to Spain, with them? Once again, you knew you were going to argue on this proposition. The idea was not bad, Spain seemed a rather pleasant country. But you had just graduated and had a student job to save as much as possible. However, you could not afford to leave for several days in Spain, at the last minute. Plus, what were you going to do while Tom was filming and Harry was assisting him? He was sure the film's production crew wasn't going to give you a pass because Tom had decided.
“Yeah! That’s it, you’re coming with us”
“Tom, I have a student job. I can’t just…decide to go to Spain.”
“You never take a leave, come on. It’s not negotiable”
You were looking at Harry for help but he just shrugged. After all, he was the one who had initiated the idea of ​​including you on the trip. You were trying to find a valid excuse to stay home. You really didn't want to impose yourself.
“I can’t afford that” you said, trying your best to convince him to quit the idea.
“I don’t care, it’s not even a problem. You coming to Spain with us.”
"Omg, does Z dominate you in bed to make you so bossy in life?"
Harry almost spitted his tea and laughed out loud while Tom gave you shocked eyes with pinky cheeks. You had always been sassy but hanging out with the boys had made you even more sassy than ever. How many times haven't you heard Tuwaine or Harry make fun of Harrison or Tom on the sex subject? Being a girl seemed to make you an untouchable character. The boys had never teased you about your relationships or your sexual partners. And while you've always had feelings for Harrison, you've had your own experiences. Anyway, you had just gone with the flow and Tom's brand-new romantic relationship with his co-star gave you the perfect opportunity.
“That's not the point.” stammered the actor.
Your smile widened, proud of your joke and the way Tom reacted. You heard Harry clear his throat. He had his phone in his hand and his own smile didn't bode well for you.
"The production is okay but it's at Tom's expense."
“You got to be kidding me…”
☙♡❧
You ended up in Spain with two of your best friends. You knew you had limited time before Tom had to fly back to Los Angeles for some Spider-man: No Way Home reshoots. So, you enjoyed as much as possible: accompanying the boys to the golf course - even though you weren't very involved in the sport -, spending time to visit touristic places when they were on set, talking with Rachael and other people from the set. You really enjoyed your trip.
On Wednesday evening you went out to a restaurant with Tom, Harry and two other friends/tom’s colleagues. You couldn't deny that it was fun. You had the opportunity to sunbathe a little while walking through the streets of Madrid. Spain was doing you good and not once did you think about your wobbly friendship with Harrison. You've just left the restaurant when a few fans politely show up to take pictures with Tom. You couldn't help but smile at the thought of how kind Tom had always taken in a few snaps when his fans approached him respectfully - and there weren't too many of them -. You sighed with pleasure before stepping away from the group. You leaned against a wall and took out the packet of cigarettes that Tom had asked you to keep in your clutch bag. Being an occasional smoker, he wouldn't blame you if you took one from him. You tilted your head back to admire the dark starry night when you felt a presence by your side. You narrowed your eyes in mischief as you looked sideways: Harry was there, his nose wrinkled from your cigarette. He didn't like it too much Silence filled your bubble despite the hubbub outside. You were in public and it was not surprising to meet travelers and Madrid residents mingling with the crowd to enjoy this pleasant evening.
"I wish this trip never ends." You finally said, breaking the silence.
Harry didn't know what to say to that. Instead, he was just looking at you. You were a little tanned, the Madrid sun had done wonders on you; your loose hair framed your face and the summer dress you had chosen for the restaurant looked great on you: It was a short red floral summer dress with a shingle collar. Light enough to keep you from suffocating but decent to wear on any casual occasion. You were beautiful, stunning. His heart exploded at the sight of you, so much that it hurt a few times.
"I wish I had been there for you more." he finally confessed
You finally turned your head towards him and shrug your shoulders, smiling shyly but sincerely.
“You were working, Baz”
“I meant…not only here in Spain. I’m sorry to have let you down recently”
You give him a confused look. He hadn't been a bad friend but he kept implying it. You just shook your head negatively to brush his words away. Harry had always been important to you. He had been the first to step towards you. It was him who introduced you to the rest of the gang. He had always been concerned about you.
The night you met, you immediately clicked up with him. And to be honest, for a moment, you thought he liked you that night. But he never took that step towards you and you never did either. You dreaded that if you kissed him, he would think you were interested in his notoriety by proxy. So you just acted like any reasonable person would - accept the status he gave you. And the second time he asked you to join him with his brother and his friends, you met Harrison and your heart exploded.
"I'm glad you brought me here"
“I'm happy you accepted to come.”
“I didn't really have the choice, Baz” you joked.
He laughed slightly. You weren't wrong, he and Tom had practically dragged you onto the plane, leaving you no choice to be by their side. But you could only thank them, especially Harry who had the idea. You took another hit on your cigarette before leaning back to check out where Tom was with his fans. He seemed to be talking with the girls and didn't seem overwhelmed. So, you didn't want to interrupt him and were just going to wait for him to finish. Harry played with his hands nervously, looking straight ahead and then at you. He seemed to be repeating this game for several seconds before finally asking the question that was in his mind.
“Have you heard from Harrison?” Harry asked quite casually
“He sent me several texts to apologize and wished me to have a good time in Madrid.”
“Do you still have feelings for him?”
You swallow hard before looking at him. There was an indecipherable glint in his eyes and you weren't sure what to make of it. You drew another puff from your cigarette, maybe that would save you from entering this conversation. But Harry's presence was all around you and you couldn't really escape. So you've decided to be honest.
“It’s complicated. I suppose so...”
“Mhmm”
“But my friendship with Haz is important, I don't want to lose him because of it.”
“Yeah, you can't imagine how well I understand you” he sighed
“What do you mean? Who’s the lucky girl..or guy ?”
Harry turned to you frankly and you did the same, stubbing out the half-smoked cigarette. You are well aware that the conversation was taking a more serious turn. He moistened his lips and walked over to you. Harry was full of things: he was full-loving, sarcastic, talented, daring, impertinent. But Harry was mostly awkward when it came to love. Not just an attraction, no, love with real feeling. Delicately, hesitantly, he reached out to your cheek, stroking it with the back of his fingers, cautiously. You were frozen, your eyes fixed on him admiring his audacity.
"She's the most beautiful girl I ever seen." he said with a small smile.
Harry walked over to you and your heart was pounding at breakneck speed. Harry had ... feelings for you? You were really confused. Since when had he developed his feelings? Why didn't he tell you about it? Why hadn't he tried anything so far? So, were you right from the start? Was there a tension between you since the beginning of your friendship, since your met? But above all, did you want him to take that step? Instinctively, your body responded. You parted your lips and closed your eyes. You enjoyed the warmth of his hand on your cheek and were waiting for the touch of his lips. But it never happened.
"Hey baz, y/n..we're going back to the hotel" Tom said, taking his eyes off his phone. "I…Mhmm sorry, did I interrupt something?"
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Meeting and Dating Billy Loomis
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(Not my gif)(Requested by @loodloottoot)
- You met Billy when the two of you ended up in the same class. He noticed you while looking around the room and was immediately taken with you.
- All throughout class, he kept sneaking glances at you, barely paying attention to the teacher as they talked. When the bell rung, he sat back in his seat and watched you leave, deciding that he had to have you right then and there.
- He starts out by doing the typical ‘I have a crush on you’ secret staring and learning more about you; most likely through Stu or by listening in on your conversations. He wants to make sure that you’re the one for him before he shoots his shot; he’s artful when picking people that he actually wants to date, there’s more steps involved.
- Once he’s gathered enough data on you, he’ll sit next to you in class, lean over, and introduce himself with a charming smile. You introduce yourself back; most likely a little flustered by the sudden attention, and then class will start, ending your potential conversation.
- He tries to talk with you all week but his plans are always foiled by something or someone. One of you will show up to class too late, someone will take the seat next to yours, you’ll be busy talking to a friend, someone will distract him and you’ll disappear; and so on. It frustrates him more than he cares to admit.
- Finally, he figures that he has to work a little bit harder so he strategically waits outside of the school with some of his friends. I say strategically because he made sure he had a perfect view of the doors everyone leaves out of when classes end.
- The instant he spots you, he excuses himself and jogs over, greeting you and asking what you’re planning on doing after school. The two of you strike up a bit of a conversation before you’re forced to say goodbye and board your bus. It may seem anticlimactic but to him, it’s a crucial point in your budding relationship.
- After that, he just seems to keep popping up wherever you are; in school at least. Unbeknownst to you, it’s not exactly a coincidence.
- The two of you form a bit of a friendship, and why wouldn’t you? He’s charismatic, fun to talk to, isn’t put off by anything, and pleasantly reserved so it feels like you’re special because he chooses to speak “with you of all people”. If you’re shy then congratulations, you’ve found the one person who is tactfully persistent enough to break down your walls.
- It’s probably a few months before anything of value happens, besides being integrated into his friend group and telling each other some of the things you usually don’t tell people.
- One day, while the two of you are walking to class, he asks if you like horror movies movies. When you ask him why, he tells you that he’s renting a few films and was wondering if you wanted to join him for a bit of a marathon.
- It’s sounds so casual that you’re sure he just wants to hang out as friends, but regardless, you agree.
- So you get to his house and the two of you are sat on his couch, some gorefest horror movie that he chose to watch playing on the tv. He excuses himself to go get a drink and when he comes back, he sits down beside you again although this time much closer than before.
- You try not to think any of it, even as his arm wraps around the back of the couch behind you. Well, you don’t think anything of it until you can feel his hand on your shoulder, fingers tracing shapes against the skin of your arm.
- You aren’t sure what to do, so you don’t do anything, staying perfectly still as you struggle to breathe properly, a flustered heat coursing through you. The two of you sit like that for a few long moments before he slowly pulls you into him and speaks.
“Y/n,” he says your name quietly, his voice deep. He pauses and waits for you to respond which you do so with a nervous hum. “I like you a lot. You know that, don’t you?”
“I like you too, Billy.” you respond in a near whisper, eyes focused on your lap.
“Good.” He whispers back, pressing his lips to your hot cheek as his hand finds the side of your face and he pulls you into a kiss.
- Lets hope that you’re sure about being with him because now that he has you, he certainly isn’t planning on letting you go anytime soon.
- Constant Pda. He likes having his hands on you at all times; it’s just a bonus that it shows everyone in the general vicinity “who you belong to”.
- Gentle forehead and cheek kisses.
- Hugs from behind where he nuzzles his face into your hair and jaw.
- Long makeout sessions. Once you start, he never wants to stop.
- Getting late night visits/sneaking out to see him. He shows up at your window pretty much whenever he feels like and has subsequently gotten very skilled at climbing up the side of your house.
- His favorite nickname for you is “sweetheart”. He just feels like it suits you and likes the little smile you get on your face when he calls you it.
- Cuddling? Billy would never admit it to anyone but he absolutely loves it. Oftentimes, he’s the big spoon, but he can’t deny that he loves it when you cradle him into your chest, especially when he’s tired or having a rough day.
- He lounges whenever he can so expect to be laid/leaned on, or to have him maneuver himself so that he’s laid back yet still has you close to or touching him.
- Long and deep conversations. The two of you experience existential crises together.
- You’re going to be around Stu a lot. The two of them are constantly hanging out so you and him are; most likely, going to be close as well.
- Sharing food with each other.
- Hanging out at the fountain.
- Horror movie dates.
- Constant movie references, quotes, and random facts.
- A Fall slut through and through. Falling leaves? Sexy. Pumpkins? Hot. Anything spooky? Orgasmic. He usually goes ape shit during holidays but during the fall, he goes ape shit for a whole season.
- He has a wonderful skill of popping up at the “right” times. You seem to constantly run into him and you aren’t sure if it’s really a coincidence or not.
- Random phone calls. Sometimes he plays around with you, other times he gets straight to the point.
- Back massages. He lets out these little moan like noises which make it really hard to think straight as you’re trying to innocently rub his back.
- Hand holding.
- Playing with each other’s hair. You’re constantly brushing his out of his eyes.
- He toys around with your things, either while he’s bored or to make you laugh, or just to fidget with something while you talk.
- He loves hearing you laugh and seeing you smile. He feels accomplished whenever it’s because of him, like he’s done something revolutionary.
- His fathers rarely home so you usually have the house to yourselves. He likes the privacy, being able to do whatever you please with no interruptions. It’s the teenage dream, isn’t it?
- Wearing his shirts, especially when you sleep over at his house.
- Surprisingly sensitive about certain things and somewhat easily offended. He takes you not wanting to touch, see, or be seen with him very personally, even if there’s a legitimate reason behind it.
- Weirdly enough though, he’s got a really high pain tolerance. He’s a trooper when he gets hurt and always amazes you with how little he reacts. He once sliced his hand open when the two of you were together and while you were wrapping something around the wound, all he did was let out a little “ow” and chuckle at you.
- He’s a bit reserved; he’s not a huge social butterfly so he prefers just hanging out with you and a few close friends. He’s friendly when he has to be, he just doesn’t really like talking to people he doesn’t know/know very well or being in huge crowds.
- He loves just watching you. He could look at your face for the rest of his life; all day, everyday, and still never get tired of seeing it.
- Intimate eye contact. There’s so much emotion behind his eyes when they meet yours. He could make you flustered with a single look.
- He never pushes you to do anything you don’t want to. He does such evil things most of the time, it’s nice to be seen as “the good guy” and to treat someone he cares about with respect.
- He’s a cunning bastard. If you need something done, he’ll find a way to do it. And if he needs something done, then he’ll find a way too and it may or may not involve you.
- Growing suspicious of him and his absences or the little odd things that just don’t add up. You swear he’s hiding something....
- He hangs back and waits for you when you want to go do something quick, like ask someone something or drop something off somewhere. It doesn’t ever annoy him; he likes being able to know what you’re doing.
- He’s definitely a bit overprotective and clingy at times. He’s got some deep rooted abandonment issues so he wants to make sure you’re not going anywhere or somehow going to get hurt and have to leave him because of it.
- He’s quick to interrupt when he can tell you’re uncomfortable and insults/scolds people when they upset you.
- He yearns for that motherly role in his life so he snaps at the chance to get it from your own mother when the two of you begin dating. It’s certainly a bit odd when you find him and her hanging out in your kitchen or how quick he is to agree to joining you on family outings/activities when you’re about to decline, but you are happy that he’s getting the very thing that he seems to need.
- Later in your relationship, he’ll open up to you more and tell you about his family life/ everything that goes on in his head. Just be patient because it’ll take him a while to completely trust you with everything.
- He’d rather cut off his own dick then cheat on you. He sees it as the ultimate sin, the worst thing you could ever do to a person ...besides abandon them.
- He has a mean streak when it comes to jealousy. He can’t stand the thought of you; his girl, with someone else or having someone else like you. He’s threatened and/or glared people down before if he’s thought they had a thing for you.
- Sensitive subjects really aren’t his strong suit. He always seems to say the wrong thing whenever he’s faced with them and it’s caused more than a few fights/arguments between the two of you.
- He gets angry when he’s angry, if that makes sense, although it really depends on what’s making him upset. He can either stay very calm or start rioting like a maniac, it’s really like flipping a coin with him. He does tend to flip out on other people rather than you though, so that’s good, right?
- He apologizes when he’s in the wrong and never expects you to if you aren’t. He also has a particular talent for worming his way back into your heart after he’s royally pissed you off.
- He doesn’t tell you he loves you constantly but he says it at the right moments so the words have a lot of meaning whenever he says them.
- Like I said, he doesn’t plan on letting you go anytime soon. You’re the one for him and he’s going to keep you with him for as long as he can.
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winryofresembool · 3 years
Text
Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 36
aka Caleo uni au
Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…
Chapter summary: New Year’s Eve
A/N: Oops, I'm late again. But this is the longest chapter so far (over 6k words) so I hope you can forgive me for that!
This chapter finally brings back some friends we haven't seen in a while and introduces a couple of new ones too. I'm not gonna lie, having read ToA just once about a year ago, my characterization is probably very off so my apologies for that!
Now, hope you guys enjoy this mega chapter! Please let me know what you think! It's suuper important.
Words: 6,2k 
Genre: romance & hurt/comfort
Warnings: none
previous chapter / AO3
After the boxing day Leo and Calypso returned back to their flat and the ‘normal’ life. Calypso already started remembering the downsides of working at a flower shop as it was a surprisingly busy time of the year with the wealthy people of that area wanting some flowers for their New Year celebrations. She and her boss Demi were the only two running the shop between the holidays while the second assistant was on a break. The older woman promised Calypso a day off for New Year’s eve, though, claiming that young people like her should be having fun that day instead of working. She graciously accepted the offer even though she didn’t have any plans for that day; after the eventful Christmas she kind of just wanted to stay at the flat with Leo.
But as it happened, Hazel texted her the day before the eve that she was having a small ‘gathering’ with a few friends and since Calypso hadn’t seen her for several weeks due to the work and a break from the art classes, she told Hazel that she would come. When she had asked Leo how he would feel about it, he had offered to go with her. Usually he would have spent the New Year Eve at Jason and Piper’s annual party but it was not happening this year due to their complicated situation. The flatmates had still decided to not tell Hazel or Frank about their own, developed situation, because they hadn’t even told Leo’s parents yet.
“So what is this Hazel like?” Leo asked Calypso as they were getting prepared for the evening out. “She doesn’t mind a stranger coming to her party, right?”
Calypso almost missed his question because of Leo’s current state of shirtlessness. A moment earlier he had wanted to know if she thought he should wear a light red or a white shirt to the party and hadn’t bothered to put either of them on yet. Not that she minded. No, her boyfriend definitely was not a bad sight with his tan, strong body, a quiet voice in her head said. “Oh no, she doesn’t mind,” Calypso finally remembered to answer. “I think she was even happy to hear you are coming with me. Besides, you have met Frank before, so technically you are not a complete stranger.”
“Are those two dating?” Leo asked.
“No, they are not. Not officially, at least. Hazel likes him but due to various reasons they have decided they shouldn’t rush it. Sounds kind of familiar to me.” Calypso looked at him significantly.
“It does? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Leo raised his eyebrows, and Calypso nudged him on the arm playfully.
“Anyway, Hazel is great. She is the kind of person who seems really sweet on the surface but she would probably kick your behind if needed. She’s also kind of mysterious when it comes to her own story but I feel I can trust her. I may have even accidentally slipped her once that my flatmate is kind of neat.” She smiled at him shyly.
“Oh? So you’ve talked about me to her.” Leo grinned in response. “Hope you remembered to mention my good looks and quick wit…”
“Yep, and your modesty,” Calypso shook her head. “Seriously speaking, though, I find her very inspiring. Despite everything she’s been through, she’s thriving to do the things she enjoys, and she’s an incredible artist. Better than I, for sure.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. I like your art.”
Calypso was happy and slightly flustered about Leo’s compliment but she wanted to explain herself. “I’m not selling myself short; I am just telling the truth. She really is that great.”
Leo raised his hand. “Alright, I believe you.”
“Good. Uh, hey, how should I wear my hair for the party?” Calypso asked as she stepped in front of a hallway mirror, taking some hairpins into her hands.
“I… I like it the way it is?” Leo looked at her with slight disbelief, as if he couldn’t believe that she didn’t like her current hairdo.
“Thanks… I don’t know. I could leave it mostly free but maybe I’ll add some waves.” Calypso wasn’t quite sure why she cared so much how she looked because that wasn’t like her, but she figured it might have had something to do with her being nervous about meeting new people at the party. Hazel and Frank were probably the only ones she knew there, after all. Her paying attention to her looks definitely didn’t have anything to do with the fact that she liked it when Leo gave her that special look that he reserved only for her.
“Sunshine, just so you know, you are the kind of person who will always stand out no matter what you wear. Me? Well, you could perform your magic on me but I’d still look like Santa’s elf.”
Calypso couldn’t believe that her boyfriend clearly had no idea of the effect he had had on her only a moment earlier (and still had). “Leo, don’t let this get to your head but I think there's a certain charm in your elf ears.” She took one of his earlobes between her fingers and tugged it gently.
Leo’s eyes brightened at her comment.
“If that’s what you think, then screw what anyone else says.”
“That’s the spirit,” Calypso approved, letting go of his ear and almost leaning close enough to give him a cheek kiss, but then she withdrew quickly. Leo looked quite disappointed. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked teasingly.
“I thought that you were going to kiss me,” Leo replied honestly.
“I’ve heard that there’s a habit that you kiss your partner at midnight on New Year’s. It’s not midnight yet, is it?” Calypso blinked innocently.
“No, but…” Leo couldn’t come up with any arguments to Calypso’s statement so he didn’t finish his sentence.
“Sometimes good things are worth waiting for,” Calypso finished with a smile and withdrew into her room to change her clothes. While doing that, she admitted to herself that this phase where everything was so new was pretty exciting.
A little bit later Calypso was dressed up in a dark blue short dress, tying the bracelet she had gotten on Christmas around her wrist when Leo got out of his room. He had switched his usual mechanic’s overalls to a white collarless shirt, suspenders, and pinstripe pants. Calypso had a feeling that he would have also put his tool belt on if that had been socially acceptable. To her surprise, he seemed to have even tried to flatten his curly hair a little, although it hadn’t quite worked out.
“Wow, look at you. The only thing you’re missing right now is a hat,” she noted, ruffling his hair a little. What she actually meant was that she thought he actually looked very nice in his current clothes. It was quite different from what she was used to seeing on him – even at school Leo usually wore a casual t-shirt or a hoodie and worn jeans – but she didn’t mind either look. Leo frowned at her, though.
“Don’t look so concerned,” Calypso continued with amusement. “I just meant that you kind of remind me of some film stars of the past. I just can’t get my finger on who. It’s a compliment, though.”
Leo’s frown disappeared. “Alright, thanks.” Then he took a second look at her and his eyes got that funny gleam he always got when he was about to say something embarrassing. “Woah, Sunshine. I’m suspecting that you are made of copper and tellurium.”
“And why’s that, mister chemistry nerd?” she asked, although she could pretty much guess his answer.
“Because you’re CuTe.”
Calypso shook her head in disbelief, but couldn’t hide her smile. “Really, Leonidas? Out of all the cheesy pick up lines in the world you chose that one?”
“Nothing wrong with chemistry puns, mi sol,” Leo claimed. “But I do think that you, um, clean up nicely.”
“As do you,” Calypso admitted, feeling the warmth gathering to her cheeks. “But we should probably get going now before we melt each other with these compliments. It’s getting pretty late already,” she noted when she checked the clock of her phone before dropping it back into her purse.
“Okay, I’m as ready as I can be,” Leo replied and tugged a strand of Calypso’s hair gently before picking his keys and heading to the door after her.
Frank and Hazel lived on a different campus than Leo and Calypso so it took them a while to find it. The party was organized in Frank’s flat because it was bigger than Hazel’s. The latter had explained that Frank had applied for a two-room flat because he had several pets (who would however be spending their New Year at Frank’s granny) and he was lucky enough to be able to afford it due to his work and because he had inherited his mother.
“I’m not sure what I was expecting but not this,” Calypso told Leo when she noticed a cat tree and a big pile of toys for both cats and dogs in one corner of the house. “For some reason I pictured him having a gym or something in one of his rooms.”
“I guess never judge a book by its cover,” they heard a voice behind them say. Calypso felt heat rise on her face as she realized the speaker was Hazel.
“H-hi, Hazel!” Calypso stuttered. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Hazel waved her hand when she noticed Calypso’s expression. “I can see why you would imagine that.”
“Well, I shouldn’t have assumed anything either way,” Calypso muttered. “What about you, though? What is your place like? I really should visit you some time.”
“Way smaller and I have a couple of flatmates there. But to be honest? I like it that way. My father tried to buy me a new apartment several times but something always happened to those places, like they were cursed or something. One burned, one had some water damage, one was full of bugs… But I was able to get my current place because I do some odd jobs for a neighbor. So far nothing weird has happened.”
“Not that it’s any of my business, but didn’t you once tell me that your father doesn’t contact you all too often? Yet he was going to buy you an entire apartment? Calypso asked, confused.
“I think it’s because he’s proud as hell,” Hazel shrugged. “His cousin or something - a president at your uni, I think - bought his son an entire house in a nice area, and my father just couldn’t let him flex about it. Well, his plan didn’t quite work out as I just told you.”
“Wait, the son of our uni’s president… then do you happen to know Jason Grace?” Calypso asked, connecting the dots in her head.
“Yes, I do,” Hazel answered. “A distant cousin. We lived in San Francisco at the same time for a little while until he moved away. And now we’re somehow both here. Small world.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. Jason is Leo’s good friend. And this is Leo, by the way,” Calypso introduced, feeling weirdly happy about being able to introduce him to her friend, even if they were still keeping their relationship status a secret.
However, soon Calypso noticed that Hazel took Leo’s appearance in for a moment longer than was necessary and she couldn’t help but feel just a little bit uneasy even though she knew that she didn’t actually have a reason for that. Leo was dating her, and Hazel seemed very interested in Frank. But there was something unusual about her stare, and she couldn’t figure out what it was.
“Hello, Leo.” Hazel seemed to return back to her regular self as she shook his hand, although the color of her cheeks might have been a tiny bit darker than a moment ago. “I’m Hazel. Calypso never stops talking about you at our art classes. I’m not entirely sure if it’s extremely adorable or a little annoying.”
“What?” Leo turned towards her and she couldn’t stop herself from blushing. “Cal, I didn’t know that you are constantly talking about me behind my back! Hope they have been good things, at least.” “Don’t worry, they’ve been nothing but good things,” Hazel reassured him, glancing at Calypso mischievously.
While Hazel’s teasing reassured Calypso that she had simply imagined her interest in Leo, they were getting dangerously close to the relationship topic, so she tried to change the course of the conversation. “Hazel, you didn’t have to tell him that! Now he won’t stop boasting for the next two weeks,” she said exaggeratedly even though in reality she was secretly kind of happy that Leo heard about her compliments.
“Sorry, Caly,” Hazel grinned at her, not looking particularly sorry. Then she leaned closer to her, whispering. “Just a little help from a friend. I thought you were going to get together during your vacation!”
“Th-thanks, but that really isn’t necessary,” Calypso whispered back, hoping that her acting was good enough to convince Hazel that she and Leo hadn’t made any progress yet. To her relief, her friend got distracted when a guy who was at least a head, maybe even more, taller than Hazel, with dark, short hair appeared next to her.
“There you are,” the guy said. “Nico was wondering if…” When he realized they had company, he gave them a polite smile.
“Oh, hi! Nice to see you guys!”
“You both have met Frank before, right?” Hazel asked.
“Yep,” Leo confirmed. “Frank thought I was a bad dog owner, but quite frankly, that was an understandable mistake.”
“How is your dog doing now?” Frank wanted to know. “Hope he’s good?”
“Never better! He enjoyed following Calypso everywhere while we were at Waystation over Christmas,” Leo replied happily.
“So are you two…?” Frank turned his head between Calypso and Leo. Calypso couldn’t help but wonder how many times they would still be asked that question that evening.
“No, no, no,” Leo denied. “That’s crazy talk. Right Cal? She just came with me because it was a better option than spending the holidays alone in our flat.” Calypso nodded along even though she didn’t like that they had to lie to their friends. But it was her who had made the decision to not tell them.
“Yeah. We’re just flatmates,” she confirmed.
Luckily, Frank didn’t ask more. Again, Calypso noticed that Hazel was staring at Leo with that mysterious expression on her face and she was already going to ask if something was wrong when Hazel addressed Leo:
“Have we… Have we met before? I mean, before tonight? You look so familiar to me but you can’t be…” She frowned.
“I don’t think so?” Leo seemed a bit confused. “Not that I remember, at least.”
“Oh… alright. I guess you just really look like someone I used to know. You haven’t ever lived in New Orleans, have you?”
“No, I haven’t,” Leo shook his head. “I’m originally from Texas. And yeah, I’ve also lived in a few other states for short periods of time when I was moving from a foster home to foster home but never in Louisiana.”
“Alright, sorry for bothering you about that,” Hazel said.
“It’s OK. Now that I think of it, though… I did have some distant relatives in that area, but I haven’t seen those people since I was a baby.”
“Really? What’s their last name?” Hazel seemed to get more interested again.
“Valdez, like mine. I think the mom of the boy who was around my age was my mom’s cousin or something like that. Why? Do you know them?”
“Yeah… Possibly… The boy’s name is Sammy Valdez. Does that sound familiar?”
“Hmmm…” Leo stopped to think about it. “Maybe. The boy’s name did start with S. I’ve seen pictures of me playing with another kid who looked a lot like me in our relatives’ yard but I think I literally met him just once. I was like one back then.”
Hazel seemed a little bit disappointed by Leo’s answer. “Alright. Sorry, it’s just that Sammy used to be my only real friend until I moved away from there and I was just wondering if you knew anything about how he’s doing now. I guess you don’t.”
“No, can’t say I do. My fam… well, they weren’t particularly accepting of me after what happened to my mom…” Leo said bitterly. “One of my aunts spread some sick lies… So, yeah, I moved to a foster home and haven’t seen any of my relatives since then.”
“I understand…” Hazel said sympathetically. Calypso imagined that Leo must have been grateful that Hazel didn’t question him more about what had happened. “Sorry, this is not a good topic to talk about at a party. My curiosity just got the best of me, that’s all.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Leo waved his hand dismissively. “Let’s just move on.”
“I agree. Frank, were you going to say something about Nico before you got interrupted?” Hazel turned to him.
“Oh yeah,” Frank remembered. “Nico wanted to know if it’s OK that Will comes here a bit later. He’s working today, apparently.”
“No problem,” Hazel replied. “We may not have a lot of food and drinks left by that point, though, but he’s gonna have to deal with that.”
“Nico? Not Nico di Angelo, by any chance?” Leo joined the conversation.
“Yep, that’s him. He’s my half brother. I know, we look nothing alike,” Hazel commented when she noticed Leo’s expression.
“No, I was just surprised that you know him and Jason too… Soon you’ll probably tell us you know Percy Jackson too.”
“I’ve heard stories of him from the others,” Hazel chuckled. “But no, haven’t met him personally, at least yet.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if you met him some time soon,” Leo predicted.
Calypso felt she had already been quiet uncomfortably long, just listening to Leo and Hazel talk and trying to figure out what to make of it. She couldn’t deny that she had felt a bit jealous at first but when she had learned that Hazel had only seemed that interested in him because he had looked like an old friend of hers, she had relaxed somewhat. Maybe the trust issues were a result of many failed relationships, if she could call them that given that most of them hadn’t lasted too long. Cursing herself for her unnecessary thoughts, she asked:
“So, is there anyone else I know here besides Nico?”
“I invited Rachel from our art classes too,” Hazel answered. “You remember her, right? She said she was really happy to spend the New Year’s Eve in any place that isn’t his father’s penthouse.”
Calypso remembered Rachel as a really enthusiastic and unique artist. She herself tended to try to make her art look a bit more simplistic while you really had to stop and look at Rachel’s art to be able to see its many dimensions.
“Yep, I remember her,” Calypso responded. “I’ve often thought about talking to her but there’s something a bit… intimidating about her, like she knows something about me that even I don’t know…” “She’s fine, though, when you learn to know her,” Hazel reassured her.
“That’s nice to know. If I see her, I’ll say hi.”
“Good,” Hazel nodded.
“Hey, Sunshine,” Leo nudged her on the arm. “I’m getting hungry. Maybe we should go and get something to eat.”
“Somehow he is already hungry even though he ate at home before we left,” Calypso said in disbelief. “How’s that even possible, Repair Boy?” Then she realized how the nicknames may have sounded to the others’ ears so she hurried to add: “Um, sorry, we’re used to using nicknames at our flat. With everyone. I’m Sunshine, Jason is a Lightning Boy and so on. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure he won’t eat everything!”
“It’s OK, there’s plenty for everyone. Also, if you plan to dance at some point tonight, watch out for my pink haired friend Lavinia. She is a little bit eager about tap dancing.”
“I don’t think we are gonna dance…” Calypso cursed herself for blushing like a teenager when she pictured herself going for a slow dance with Leo, standing as close to him as possible. “…But thanks for the warning.” Then she waved at the hosts quickly and started dragging Leo out of the room.
“Well? What do you think of my friends?” Calypso whispered when they were picking some nachos on their plates and no one was in the hearing distance.
“Hazel seems cool,” Leo replied nonchalantly. “But you really think I pay attention to anyone else when I have my amazing girlfriend next to me?”
“You’re so cheesy, Leo,” Calypso said but gave him her brightest smile. She might have also kissed him if it weren’t for the other people nearby and the fact that she was carrying a plate full of food.
“Part of my charm, babe,” Leo claimed, giving her that stupid grin that never failed to make her feel things. He sat down on an unoccupied chair near the table and started enjoying his nachos. “Hey, these are really good! You gotta try them.”
“Babe? I thought we already had our nickname discussion,” Calypso interrupted him. She sat down next to him but didn’t taste her nachos yet, instead expecting his answer.
“But it’s better than Mamacita, isn’t it?” Leo asked innocently.
Calypso couldn’t argue with that logic. “Well, yes, it is, but… maybe you should stick to Sunshine. Or just Cal. I’m not… huge on pet names. I’m just not used to them.”
Thankfully Leo seemed to understand. “Alright. I won’t call you a babe, then. My mom just used to say ‘a dear child has many names’ and it seems that has stuck with me. I think she meant that we have a tendency to give nicknames to those we care about. Maybe that’s the reason why I sometimes go a bit extra with the names I give you guys… especially you.”
“Oh. I see.”
There was something weirdly sweet about Leo’s reasoning behind his nicknames and Calypso couldn’t help but smile down at her food. She didn’t realize she had been lost in her thoughts for a moment until Leo said:
“Earth’s calling Calypso. Try this,” Leo handed her a nacho that had some sauce she wasn’t familiar with on it.
“Chili?” she asked when she tasted it and felt a slight sting on her tongue. It wasn’t a bad sensation, though; this sauce was notably milder than the one Leo had once fed her. “You really find ways to make me eat it.”
“Admit it: you liked it.”
Calypso was feeling a little brave because they were somehow still alone in the room: “Make me.”
Leo was about to lean closer to her when someone entered the room without a warning.
“Uh… Hi!” Nico di Angelo finally reacted to their presence when Calypso and Leo jumped a bit farther from each other.
“Hi, Nico,” Leo greeted him. “I wasn’t expecting to see anyone I know here but it looks like I was wrong.”
“Seems so,” Nico replied, not in a mood for small talk.
“So how is it going?” Leo asked. “And how’s Will?”
“It’s going,” Nico shrugged, combing some of his long bangs to the side with his fingers. “Been trying to take it easy lately. Doctor’s orders. Will works as an intern at a hospital and turns out they really needed his help on New Year’s Eve so he’s not here yet. Something about lots of fireworks related accidents and so on…”
“Fireworks suck,” Leo commented, and Calypso noticed an angry spark in his eyes. “They feel like such a waste of money and they cause people to lose their eyes and such.”
Calypso wondered if Leo’s hatred towards the fireworks had something to do with the fact that fire was involved but she decided to ask about it later.
“Tell me about it,” Nico agreed. “Anyway, how do you two know Hazel and Frank?”
Calypso briefly explained how she had met Hazel at the art class and Leo told Nico about Festus’ vet visit.
“Somehow Hazel even knows my second cousin from Louisiana. How crazy is that?” Leo marveled.
“Pretty crazy, yeah,” Nico admitted, not contributing more to the topic so Leo decided to ask about something else.
“You haven’t happened to hear anything about Jason or Piper lately? I accidentally ran into Piper at Christmas and she seemed to be doing OK then, but… I’m still a bit worried about them.”
“I don’t really know much.” Nico replied vaguely. “Just that Jason hasn’t been home much lately. He’s always training, or with Percy and Annabeth or… I dunno. Just avoiding dealing with the situation. Or that’s at least how Will has interpreted his behavior. He’s way better at reading others than I am.”
Leo let out a frustrated sigh. “If only those two talked it out, said what they really thought…”
Calypso couldn’t help but see the amusing side of Leo’s statement. She started chuckling at him and both Leo and Nico gave her perplexed looks.
“What’s so funny about this? I was trying to be serious, Cal.” He narrowed his eyes, folding his arms over his chest.
That only made Calypso even more amused. “I know, I know! I’m sorry. It’s just that… don’t you think that’s a little bit ironic coming from your mouth?”
“From my mouth…?”
Nico still looked like he understood nothing about what was going on, but Leo had at least a tendency to blush when he realized that Calypso was right.
“Oh, this is totally different!” he claimed. “I, um, have my reasons to keep my mouth shut in certain situations. But those two… they’re just being weird.”
“I’m not even trying to follow this conversation anymore,” Nico stated, going to gather some chips and a beer from the food table. “Will would probably be able to translate Leo’s incoherent speech but he’s not here so I’m just gonna eat quietly now.”
Leo gave him an annoyed look and focused on his own food for a while. Once finished, he told Calypso that he wanted to see where the rest of the guests were. Calypso, relieved that Nico hadn’t apparently connected the dots about their relationship, agreed to follow him, but soon she realized that it might have been a mistake when Leo was walking towards the dancing area.
Being on the dance floor usually meant that you were expected to dance.
And she was not ready to dance. At all.
First of all, she hadn’t danced in years and while Calypso usually wasn’t too self conscious about those kinds of things, she still didn’t want to embarrass herself in front of Leo and the others. Second of all, she was quite sure that people would speculate - again - if they saw her dancing with Leo and she didn’t want that. She may have told Hazel about her crush some time ago and she did trust her, but who knew what kind of connections the other people in the room had?
Suddenly she realized that she was being paranoid. The people at this party were in their late teens or early twenties and probably had never even heard of her father. And why would they care if she was dancing with him? That was a normal thing to do at parties. It didn’t automatically have to mean anything.
There were already a lot of people gathered on the dance floor when the roommates arrived there. A few were dancing a bit farther from the rest of the group, while the others were watching a pink haired girl with real tap dance shoes on showing her skills. She must have been Lavinia, Calypso concluded. And based on her determined look, she seemed ready to challenge anyone who dared to pass by into a dance battle.
“Lavi!” Hazel’s voice came from behind Calypso. “Are you showing off again?”
The group that was standing in front of Lavinia moved from her way, and Calypso got a better look at her. Her shoulder length hair was flying freely and she was wearing a purple T-shirt and black pants to go with her shoes. Calypso also noticed that even though she had stopped dancing, one of her feet still kept tapping quietly on the floor, as if she was unable to stand still.
“Sorry, Hazel. Couldn’t help myself,” Lavinia muttered, and Hazel’s expression softened a bit. Calypso was still surprised to see this side of her because usually she seemed very kind, but clearly she still had authority even over people who were way bigger and older than her whenever it was needed.
“It’s OK! But try to let the others dance too, and not just tap dance.”
“Alright,” Lavinia answered but rolled her eyes when Hazel didn’t look. Calypso could hear her whisper to the closest people: “She just doesn’t understand the art of tap dance.”
Soon after that, the people in the room started dividing into smaller groups, some trying to chat over the loud music, some dancing. Calypso and Leo tried to spot some familiar faces but Hazel had already disappeared somewhere and Frank, Nico and Rachel weren't nearby either. Just when Leo opened his mouth to ask something, Calypso noticed that Lavinia, who had stopped dancing, was approaching them.
“Hi. We haven’t met before,” Lavinia started.
“Yeah, hi. I’m Calypso. Hazel’s friend from the art classes.” She shook Lavinia’s hand and then turned towards Leo. “This is my b… flatmate Leo. Nice to meet you.”
“I’m Lavinia Asimov. Hazel and I used to go to the same school,” Lavinia said, but Calypso couldn’t help but notice that even when she was shaking hands with Leo, she was actually eyeing her.
“That’s cool,” Calypso replied casually although she was starting to feel slightly weird because of the staring.
“So, Calypso, do you know how to dance?” Lavinia asked.
“Not really, I just know some very basics,” she replied. “Haven’t danced in years, to be honest.”
“I could teach you, you know,” Lavinia blurted.
“Really?” Calypso asked, slightly confused by the other girl’s eagerness.
“Sure, why not? I’m pretty good.” Lavinia grinned at her.
“Do you mean now or...?”
“Now or whenever you’d like.” The girl twirled a strand of her pink hair around her finger as she spoke.
It took Calypso a moment to realize that Lavinia was actually trying to flirt with her in her own way.
“Hold on. I’m really flattered, but… I’m already taken.” Calypso rubbed the back of her head. From the corner of her eye she could see Leo’s stance getting more relaxed when he heard her answer. “Sorry. You seem like a cool person, though.”
Lavinia seemed visibly disappointed by Calypso’s response. “Are you taken by him?” She pointed at Leo judgingly. “You could do better than that.”
Calypso wasn’t sure what to answer, given that she wasn’t supposed to reveal their secret to anyone, but to her relief Leo cleared his throat. “Excuse me, Miss Pink? We literally just met; what makes you think you know what kind of person I am? You’re right in one thing, though,” he continued before Lavinia could reply. “Namely, she is way out of my league. And her boyfriend would probably kill me if I looked at her in the wrong way.”
“But… didn’t you just say you two are flatmates?” Lavinia asked suspiciously.
“Oh, yeah,” Leo responded quickly. “Cal’s boyfriend lives far from our uni so it was more convenient for her to get a flat from somewhere nearer to it. He knows he can trust me.”
Calypso wasn’t sure what amused (and scared) her more: the lies Leo came up with or the way he managed to sound that convincing even though he was literally coming up with the story as he spoke. At least Hazel wasn’t listening because she probably wouldn’t have bought it. Eventually Calypso decided she needed to contribute to the story as well.
“Besides, my boyfriend knows that I would kick Leo’s ass if he ever did anything inappropriate.”
Calypso noticed that Leo’s mouth was twitching slightly, but he quickly pulled the poker face back on and rushed to nod along.
“Totally. I wouldn’t wanna try that.”
Lavinia finally seemed convinced enough. “Alright. Well… I think I’ll go and find something to drink now. Dancing makes me thirsty.”
“Okay, we might see you later.” Calypso nodded at her before she disappeared from view. Once they were sure that she was far enough, she breathed a sigh of relief.
“Whew, she really seemed convinced we are dating,” she whispered to Leo. “I was worried she wouldn’t believe us. Also, Mister Not-boyfriend, I’ll have you know I do not approve of lying but in this case it was probably for the best. So thanks.”
Leo grinned at her. “You’re welcome. Geez, Sunshine, do you see the effect you have on people? Everyone is falling on your feet.”
Calypso blushed a bit. “It’s a bit weird… I am not used to getting attention.”
“You’ll get used to it once I shower you with the Leo love,” he whispered and Calypso blushed even harder.
“Gods, Leo! Don’t say that here!” Calypso peeked around and was relieved to see that no one they knew was nearby.
“Couldn’t resist,” he claimed but then got more serious. “Uh, so… do you think dancing would be pushing the line that we have set?”
“It probably would,” Calypso said a bit sadly. “Maybe when we’re home, though.” She added quietly.
Leo seemed pleasantly surprised by her answer. “Oh! Okay. I’ll be looking forward to that.”
“Hey, listen,” Calypso spoke again. “Maybe we should split up for a moment. Nico and Frank could probably use your company and I’d like to catch up with Hazel a bit since I haven’t had a chance yet. Is that alright with you?”
“Sure, go ahead,” Leo nodded. “I need to make sure that Nico doesn’t eat all the miniburgers from the bar.”
Calypso chuckled. “Alright. Save some for me too! I've only tasted the nachos so far!”
“I will try,” Leo replied, emphasizing the word try. “Well, see you in a bit!” He waved at her.
Once Leo had disappeared, Calypso started looking for Hazel and found her from the balcony with Rachel and a couple of other friends of hers, watching the fireworks from the distance.
“Hi, you guys,” she greeted. “Looks like nice weather for the fireworks show.”
“Yep, it is,” Hazel agreed. “So… how did your little vacation go?” She went straight to the topic, smiling at Calypso slightly mischievously. “You and Leo seemed pretty chummy over there.”
“Chummy?” Calypso laughed awkwardly. “I don’t even know what that means,” she lied, trying to use the fact that she wasn’t a native English speaker as her advantage. “But the vacation was pretty good. Sure, there were some ups and downs as you can expect when you’re spending the holidays in a new place with people you don’t know very well, but overall? I had a good time.”
“I can almost see with my own eyes what exactly happened there now…” Hazel rolled her eyes. “Come on. Give me some details. Please tell me that some progress has happened.”
“But there really is not much to tell,” Calypso insisted. “I taught Leo’s little sister Georgina some baking and sewing and stuff like that and helped with the Christmas preparations and met some new people… Oh! And Leo’s family has an animal shelter; they had some adorable dogs and cats and…”
Hazel looked less enthusiastic when she realized that Calypso really was not going to tell her any news about her and Leo.
“So… nothing really happened?” she asked.
“No,” Calypso said as convincingly as she could. “Although we did have a good talk one day and I feel that we can be more open towards each other now. But we are not together. It’s not the right time for that yet.”
Hazel tilted her head, still unconvinced. “I heard Lavinia talking about you a moment ago, though. Something about some guy not realizing how lucky he was.”
Calypso started feeling she was reaching the limits of her acting skills, but she tried her best. “I… uh, may have told her that I was taken to make things less awkward. Sorry, I know that was extremely rude of me.”
“No worries,” Hazel reassured her. “I’m sure she’ll get over it quickly. Besides, I happen to know that there’s someone she really really likes and hasn’t just found the courage to ask her out yet.”
“Oh, I see. Well, I hope she manages to do that at some point.”
The girls proceeded to talk about other things, such as Hazel’s vacation, the foster animals of Waystation and their expectations on the upcoming art classes, with Rachel joining the conversation as well. Calypso was just laughing at Rachel’s story about the many uses of a hair brush (she had used one for painting and another for threatening her teacher who had misbehaved towards her) when Nico rushed into the balcony, looking even paler than usual.
“Calypso, I think you should come. Something’s not right with Leo.”
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tomhardysteeth · 4 years
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u wanna say anything for spn ending? Today's their last day of filming
Yeah sure! I love how you worded this ask, it makes me want to give a very serious answer. I’ve been rewatching random episodes the past few days and thinking about how much of my life was shaped by this random lil tv show, both positively and negatively, so here we go. 
I started watching Supernatural during my junior year of college, when I was grappling with being gay and religious, and had a pseudo-girlfriend who was emotionally abusive. I remember I started watching the show because I had been on tumblr for a while and thought, well this is a popular show on tumblr and looks like something I’d enjoy, so I might as well try it. I remember barely paying attention to the first season and thinking it was kind of silly, and I distinctly remember making fun of it right up until the season 1 finale when that truck slammed into the Impala and I said oh.
I remember sitting in the dining hall between classes, hiding in a corner with my pink headphones and my laptop, watching one episode after the other, completely consumed by it. My personal life was a mess at the time and I was angry and sad and frustrated, but I could forget about everything for a little while when I watched spn. I remember falling in love with Dean Winchester, season 3, when Sam gave him the amulet. 
Because I had already spent a lot of time on tumblr, I knew about Castiel. I couldn’t wait to get to season 4, the anticipation killed me. I didn’t really have a choice in shipping destiel, I literally shipped it before I even watched a single episode of the show lol. My first time watching seasons 4 and 5, I remember how mad I would feel every time the opening credits scrolled at the bottom of the screen and Misha Collins wasn’t listed. I cared about almost nothing but Dean and Cas interacting with each other. I was totally enamored by them, by their potential. At some point I got over that and watched the show because I liked the show, but boy did my heart and brain break for destiel. 
I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. I started coming out to more people, including people involved in the Christian campus ministry I was heavily involved in, and it was very very hard. It was 2013. The first episode of Supernatural I watched live was the episode where Dean turns into a fucking dog. 
I don’t remember when I started reading fanfic, and I had no idea how to read fanfic. A friend invited me to ao3, what is ao3? I didn’t know. I used my email address as my username. I read Twist and Shout and Pie Without Plot and other very popular fics that I knew about because everybody knew about them. I vividly remember the first fics I read because I was 21 years old and had never had an orgasm in my life and believed sex was sinful and so when the sex scenes in fics turned me on, I felt guilty about it. 
I quickly got over that and started writing explicit destiel fanfic. 
I still had no idea what I was doing. I know the very first fic I ever wrote was a mess, I’ve completely erased all traces of it, but other than that I began posting with abandon. Pretty much everything I’ve ever written for spn is still on tumblr and/or ao3. I was running a Hannibal blog at the time and started posting more Supernatural content than Hannibal content, so I created a sideblog, @deancasheadcanons​, and things very quickly got out of hand after that.
I was depressed, I was confused, I was spending my last couple years of college trying to figure out my sexuality, trying to hold onto a religion that was rejecting who I was becoming, trying to find my identity while picking a career path and being sad and being pulled in a hundred different directions. Sometimes I was working three jobs at once, on top of 17-credit-hour semesters. I was getting a degree in a field I did not care about, and I spent every class reading and writing fanfic, scrolling through tumblr, making internet friends, letting my life be consumed by Supernatural. I projected myself completely onto Dean Winchester and partially onto Castiel and did not even realize it. 
I started dressing like Dean, and my sister and brother-in-law noticed and assumed I was gay. They were extremely unsubtle in their attempts at getting me to come out by pointing out the flannel and army jackets, and I did not have it in me to admit to them that I was dressing like a fictional character, but I DID tell them I was bisexual. 
I went to therapy every week during my senior year of college, and I was embarrassed about how often I talked about my “internet life,” as I called it. I remember having the arbitrary goal of getting 1,000 kudos on a fanfic, and I remember the day it happened for the first time and I remember going to therapy that week and saying that I didn’t feel any different, that I thought getting attention for my writing would make me feel better, somehow, but I still felt the same, and my therapist asked me if I would still be writing if I was the only one who got anything out of it and I said yes. But I was still obsessed with writing things that were meaningful, and despite the fact that I would receive 10 negative/mean anons per day, I never turned anon off because I desperately wanted people to tell me that my writing meant something to them, that it mattered to them. I was fighting with myself every day over my sexuality and my identity and my purpose, and I put all of that on the shoulders of Dean and Cas. 
There was also chubby!dean. I had lived my entire life with this inexplicable thing, this shame that I knew I could not share, that I knew I would just have to suffer with for my whole life, and then I joined the spn fandom and found that there were others like me, others that had a fetish and had similar experiences as I did and were drawn to Dean Winchester because there’s no other character that could make eating and gaining weight be as enticing as he makes it (in fanfic). For the first time in my life I had a community of people that I could relate to about a thing that I never thought I would ever be able to talk about with anyone in my life. I don’t remember if I consciously chose to start posting publicly about it, but at some point I did, and I started writing kink fic, but I was still so uncomfortable with myself and so scared of the things I felt, and I tried so hard to temper myself and not offend anyone and not go “too far” and not be too weird and I was so sexually repressed and pent up and full of guilt and shame, and so now when I go back and reread some of the stuff I wrote it feels like reopening an old wound and letting myself bleed out. 
I was constantly comparing myself to others and wondering why I wasn’t getting as much attention as so-and-so, and I always made excuses about how maybe my writing was too weird and I was too much and maybe I just wasn’t good enough and I hated myself and wanted to delete everything I ever wrote, but also I’m awesome and receive a lot of attention and get a lot of good feedback but maybe that means I’m just a narcissist! I acted like an asshole online and justified it by saying it wasn’t really me, that I could be someone totally different on tumblr than the person I was in “real life,” but in hindsight, now when I think back on my early 20s, I cannot separate what I was doing in “real life” from what I was doing in the spn fandom. I shared so much of myself with the spn fandom without even recognizing that that’s what I was doing. 
And I made mistakes, god I made mistakes, and I tried to be so careful about everything I said but I was also presenting a certain version of myself to the spn fandom so that people would like me (for instance: running a destiel blog and trying my best to hide the fact that I also ship wincest) and still I got in trouble constantly, and I grew bitter and mean because you can only receive the “when are you posting the next chapter?” comment so many times before you want to bang your head into a wall. I became defensive and unkind, afraid to check my inbox because it was a nightmare, and yet unable to turn off anon because, like I said, I desperately needed that feedback, I needed people to tell me that they felt what I felt, that they understood what I was writing and why I was writing it.
I expected Supernatural to give me everything I needed. I fantasized about Dean Winchester being canonically bisexual because I thought it would confirm something in me, that it would somehow make my life a little bit easier. I didn’t want to watch other shows that could maybe help me, I wanted Supernatural to do things for me that it had never promised and would never deliver, and it’s because I was defined by it for so many years. Now that I’m back on tumblr, I’ve been going back through some of my old posts on deancasheadcanons and it’s like reading a stranger’s words. Even so, I find myself telling people “I was deancasheadcanons” instead of “I ran a sideblog called deancasheadcanons” because it really was such a huge part of my identity. What’s wild is that every time I’ve tried to explain it to someone in real life, they just look at me like I’m not making any sense. 
It was easy to stop watching Supernatural. I didn’t have cable, and I had been driving to my dad and stepmom’s house each week and watching it on their tv after they had gone to bed. I was in a new relationship with a woman I nearly married, I was back in school for a new career, I was working full time and absolutely did not have time to continue writing fanfic as prolifically as I had done for so many years. I finally reached a breaking point in 2017 and haven’t watched any new episodes since then (I don’t remember the last episode I saw). But now, as I rewatch some old episodes, it is easy to feel the way I felt the first time I watched the show. It’s easy to see why this campy little heartfelt show was a lifeline during my formative adult years.
So it turns out I have never reckoned with any of this, have never written it down, hence the 2k jumble of words you see here. And it’s like, I know that a lot of this may seem silly, trivial, especially for a show that in itself is not very serious, but as it comes to an end I have to reflect on it as a person who put so much of my heart, my creativity, my pain and my floundering identity into it. I am somewhat embarrassed and wish I could respond to this ask with a joke instead, but we’re in a pandemic and I live alone and have had way too much time to think and reflect and become a lot more self-aware, and part of that reflection has definitely been about my time in the spn fandom. I remember thinking the show was never going to end, yet here we are at the end and I felt compelled to type all this out with a desire to, I don’t know, get some closure? Convince myself that I was a whole person, that I wasn’t just a faceless URL posting destiel fics into the void, that my real life was not at all disparate from the time I spent online? In any case, I’ll always think fondly of the time I devoted to Supernatural, and I’ll take the good and the bad and everything in between. Thanks for the nice ask, anon, apparently I needed to get some things off my chest.  
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popwasabi · 4 years
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“End of Evangelion” and the tempting nature of oblivion
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(TW: Suicide, Self-harm, Pain, Depression, Mental Health, Death)
“End of Evangelion” is a perplexing movie to say the least.
Not that the original classic anime “Neon Genesis Evangelion” series ends on exactly the most conclusive note itself, but “End” takes everything that transpired in the series and literally destroys it.
The films ends with Earth experiencing the long foreshadowed Third Impact and all of the planet returning to the primordial “soup,” as fans call it, with its main protagonist Shinji Ikari and comrade Asuka Langley Soryu as the only remaining humans left. A pseudo, twisted rebeginning of Adam and Eve’s Genesis.
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The film is fairly divisive among the fans to say the least. Some fans consider it a masterpiece for its nihilistic tone and mind-bending illustrations of body horror and others despised it for being too dark and confusing with no clear explanation of anything that happened in the film’s events. Hell, even the movie’s fans have a difficult time explaining what exactly happens in the narrative.
I was somewhat in the middle with it after I watched it the first time not super long ago. It was certainly abstract, and I like plenty of stories that don’t make it easy for me to understand. The animation is definitely the franchise’s best and I enjoyed the character moments between Shinji, Asuka, and Misato. But it was also, as stated before, dreadfully confusing and still to this day hard to makes heads or tails out of with its plot.
But, as with more than a few movies I have revisited this year, 2020 helped me contextualize one aspect I think the story is concretely trying to get across.
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(We’ll save discussion of “Rebuild” for another day...)
At my lowest points not long ago, I had this frequent vision that would crawl across my mind.
I imagined being up in the clouds on a beautiful sunny day, but I wasn’t floating or flying. I was plummeting, falling like a bird without wings at a speed that would definitely kill me once I got to the ground. But I never imagined actually hitting the Earth like a meat-bagged, human sized asteroid. I only ever imagined the falling part. The wind reaching a terminal velocity and the air rushing past my body and you know what look I had on my face?
Happiness.
I was confused a bit by why I kept imagining this moribund fall into oblivion over and over again. I wasn’t suicidal, though I certainly have had thoughts of self-harm plenty of times before and general detachment from life. But why the fuck was I so happy? I’m about to die after all!
What I have come to realize in recent years, as I’ve developed a better understanding of my mental health and what makes me tick, it wasn’t that I wanted to die so much as I wanted the freedom that comes moments before it. The feeling of finally letting go and letting fate/gravity do the rest.
Years of my life failing at various aspects of societal expectations and career obligations from not being able to get the girls I wanted to date so badly, relationships ending poorly, not quite applying myself the way I should’ve in college, and working a plethora of unfulfilling jobs since graduation made me yearn for that release. Just that feeling of saying “fuck it all” and giving in to the void.
I wanted to stop feeling out of control. The way the world is structured often feels like you are on a wild, rapid river flowing in one very stark direction but you desperately want to go the other way. You keep fighting and fighting it and realize after a while you are just swimming in place, you tire out and either float where the river wants you to go or you drown. I wanted neither of those things, I just wanted control and unfortunately part of life is accepting that a very large percentage of it is beyond your power to alter.
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2020 made this feeling starkly apparent once again as we were hit with a once in a lifetime global pandemic that has killed 2.21 million people and counting. As common people struggle to find ways to handle the loss of loved ones and the fallout from economic instability those tasked with protecting us have more or less ignored the cries of needy. Hell, they’re fucking miffed that we would even have the audacity to ask for $2000 of our own fucking tax dollars to put a band-aid on the situation. Combine this with an extremely volatile two-party system and late stage capitalism, we are about as out of control as ever in terms of how much we actually can course correct our destinies in a period like this.
It is why so many irony-pilled millennials and gen z-ers are posting dank memes about meteors colliding with the earth over the course of the year. We’ve lived through two recessions, two forever wars, and now a pandemic in our lifetimes while paying off our crippling debt with slave wages and yet boomers still wonder why we are near universally depressed as a generation.
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(Seriously, everybody needs a fucking therapist right now...and also to dismantle the fucking system that’s making us depressed!)
This is what I feel is the real heart of “End of Evangelion.” The movie is a lot of things, obviously, but, after the events of this year and looking back on the more depressing parts of my life, I feel this film is about the tempting nature of oblivion. Giving up when things are clearly beyond your control so you can get that sweet but twisted, fleeting sense of freedom from it all.
Director Hideaki Anno didn’t feel too entirely different about the state of life when he made this series and certainly by the time he made “End” he was in a very dark place.
So, quick history lesson, “Neon Genesis Evangelion” debuted in 1994 and quickly became a classic among fans of anime and the giant mech vs monster genre. Critics loved it for its exploration of mental health and depression and of course plenty enjoyed the hell out of it for its giant monster/robot escapism as well. Fast forward to the conclusion of the series, critics and fans especially are far more polarized. I won’t try to explain exactly what happens in the ending and frankly I don’t think anyone can, but that confusion led to quite a bit of outcry by the fans.
Hideaki Anno, the series’ director, received tons of hate mail and death threats following the series conclusion. The fans hated how abstract it was, how it had an undecisive ending and chose to dive into the mind of Shinji instead of conclusively describing the events of the Third Impact with plenty going as far as to say he had “ruined” his own series for them. This made him unfortunately quite depressed himself over the ending he felt creatively fairly content with.
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(I think it should be clear who Shinji is mostly likely a stand-in for in this anime...)
The fan reaction was toxic to say the least and all too familiar for many creatives who didn’t adequately satisfy the insatiable vapid needs of their fandom. Anno did not take this well to put it lightly. A man who was known as a delinquent in high school and expelled from the Osaka University of Arts much earlier in his life, and dealt plenty with his own bouts of depression, Anno had plenty of his own demons to sort out and quite clearly wanted to explore that mental state in “Neon Genesis Evangelion.”
I’ll be honest and say that I myself was not fond of the ending either when I watched it the first time as a freshman in college, and even went as far as to describe it as everything that was wrong with anime to friends in the years that followed for a while. I felt it was confusing and “fake deep,” existential for no reason other than because it just wanted to and people were “dumb” if they liked it.
When I rewatched it again as a much older adult when it came on Netflix last year, I found it much more fascinating and interesting. A sort of abstract introspective into the mind of a troubled teenager, who I had written off many years prior as a “whiny baby.” Though I wouldn’t say I completely understand it still, I get it much more now and I think it has a lot to say about depression and mental health.
Unfortunately, most fans did not have that reaction back then and as a result Anno made his true conclusion “End of Evangelion” as a response to that negativity.
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(You’re welcome, nerds.)
As mentioned before, “End of Evangelion” is an extremely nihilistic film that seems to one up each dark moment as you traverse its spiraling narrative. It’s a film where things never get better. If you go into it blind expecting that big last minute heroic save the day moment, it’s always teased and never comes. Things just end very badly for everyone. Nobody gets a “happy ending.”
While the ending to the original series is strange for sure, it does end on a light note that can be interpreted in a number of different ways but ultimately positive. With the way fans reacted to it Anno decided to write a big “fuck you” to them by, in many ways, smashing his toys so no one could play with them again. He even went as far as to splice in the actual hate mail he received into the movie to quite clearly show to the audience, as their favorite characters met their grissly ends, that this was their fault.
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(“Gee, I wonder what that was all about.” ~ a fan walking out of the theater back in 1997.)
In a way though, Anno created something strangely beautiful from that reaction. “End of Evangelion” is about giving up in some ways and accepting our inevitable doom. There are no easy answers, no workable solutions to achieve a happy ending because sometimes in life there isn’t one. Despite last ditch efforts by Misato, Shinji, and the crew of NERV the world still ends through the Third Impact. But tonally it’s not quite pessimistic; it’s actually positive, in a very twisted sense of course.
Set to the song “Komm Susser Tod” by ARIANNE, the film’s apocalypse can almost be described as a celebration. With people “popping” and turning into the primordial soup they all largely have smiles on their faces as they kind of get what they want whether it’s a desire to reunite with loved ones, to be with people they have crushes on, or happiness that they have sought for so long in the embrace of others. Everyone’s depressed! But now they are happy because it’s finally all over, they don’t have to give a shit anymore.
As the planet lights up like a Christmas tree, there are images of suicide and death that rapidly cross the screen in the form of the Angel’s final transformation but again, nobody is truly sad about it. They all have some kind of twisted smile or joy that they get from it. It’s a shocking film, if you’re not already prepared for what’s going to happen, and provocative to say the least.
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(Can’t decide if I recommend watching this high or not...)
I had no idea what any of it meant at the time when I watched it several years ago (I watched it well after I had seen the original series), and to be fair there are many ways fans have interpreted what exactly took place in the film and have debated endlessly on its meaning for decades now. But at least in my interpretation, after everything we’ve been through this year, “End of Evangelion” to me is about the sweet release of not giving a fuck anymore.
Whether it’s about Anno feeling that way about his own life or the expectations of his fans or both, the film quite clearly doesn’t care about what people may or may not have wanted for Shinji and the NGE characters and is perfectly fine with the way it all comes “tumbling down.”
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(He just wants to be with his boyfriend, guys.)
This past July 4th, city fireworks shows were prohibited in my area because they wanted to limit mass gatherings due to COVID but this didn’t stop people from buying plenty of their own to fire off. In what amounted to a collective “fuck you” to everything and 2020, beginning pretty much exactly at dusk people started firing off their at home lightshows like they were mortar gunners in World War I and did not let up until well past midnight. The entire Southern California night sky was lit up not to unlike the thousands of crosses that filled the screen during the Third Impact of “End of Evangelion” and though it could certainly be interpreted as a moment of people patriotically going “Yea, America!” that night, my head canon was much different. It felt like tens of thousands of people across the region just saying “Fuck it” into the night sky at everything; COVID, our horrendous government, police violence, pending World Wars, environmental disaster, and our collective impending doom from it all.
As these fireworks hit their zenith around 9pm I broke out my phone and started playing “Komm Susser Tod” from the movie and it felt perfect. Everyone just wanted to feel that freedom in the moment, that freedom of not giving a damn anymore. To be removed from expectations, from control, from hatred, from pain and it was kind of beautiful in a sick way.
And that’s what “End of Evangelion” feels like to me now; kind of beautiful in a sick way.
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(Not saying the LA skyline looked like this exactly but it felt like it haha...)
There are still many ways to interpret Hideaki Anno’s cult classic, and it’s part of its charm but I think the take away fans should have is definitely not that suicide is ok but that we get it. We understand why people have those feelings and why it feels freeing to desire the void and oblivion. It’s a pity that the series most toxic fans didn’t get that clue through the original finale but Anno, not a person who likes  being shoved around, clearly created perhaps the most twistedly beautiful “fuck you” to that in anime history.
As we enter 2021 all I can say is it’s ok to feel like this, it’s ok to desire freedom from the relentless gloom and doom of the world and people’s prying expectations of what they think you “should” be. No one blames you. At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to survive the apocalypse we have zero control over, so the least we can do is be a bit nicer and considerate of one another. 
At least it’ll make the Third Impact more pleasant whenever it eventually comes...
Happy New Year, everyone! 
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Congratulations on surviving 2020! Have fun in 2021...
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mrsmaddiebobaddie · 4 years
Text
MCYT High School Teacher AU
I don’t know if this has already been done but with student teaching on the brain this was invading my subconscious.
Phil: Principal
The most chill admin you’d ever find (He kind of has to be with the staff at the school)
Will let most things slide if you ask nicely
Has a quiet space in his office for students to take a moment to calm down after acting out. He’ll offer them candy and talk through the situation with them. 
Started out as a counselor at the school, so he still holds a similar mentality when it come to talking with students and staff. 
Always takes the side of his staff. The district is usually in the wrong anyway.
He knows the teachers are the experts, screw whatever requirements the state has, he lets them run their classrooms whichever way is best for the students’ learning
Technoblade:  Literature & Composition
One of the most engaging teachers at the school
Most students love him because he’s real and he’ll tell it like it is. 
Has a coffee machine in his room. It’s rare that he’s not holding a mug in his hand while he teaches
Has high expectations for his students
Rarely gets angry. Even when he’s upset he still comes across as calm.
Usually stays at the school late making sure to give the best possible feedback on papers and reports. He genuinely wants each kid to learn something from his class.
Tommy: Speech and Debate
It’s only his second year of teaching
The students would run the classroom if not for Tommy basically being a student himself
There’s a strong chance his class will be off topic at any given point. It’s always an adventure walking past his door, you never know what you’ll hear
Somehow still gets high scores on average from his students
Keeps students after class when he notices them struggling with school or life in general to talk with them. The conversations are always beneficial.
Will 100% fall asleep during professional development meetings.
Karl: Biology
Tries to act hip, fails most of the time.
Always has the most energy in his lessons, finds unique ways to teach the concepts other than slides and worksheets.
Usually the first one in the building each morning
Will give students different options for final projects so they can chose the best method of showing their evidence of learning. 
Gets lower scores than he should on observations because he doesn’t do well under the pressure. One year Phil didn’t announce when he’d be coming in and watched from the door to give a more accurate review. 
Wears a sweatshirt to class more often than he should
Quackity: Spanish 
Hands on learning whenever possible
Uses the home ec. room to make authentic Mexican dishes with his students when they cover the food and restaurant unit
Will just forget that the kids don’t speak Spanish fluently and ramble on until someone interrupts him.
Slow grader, you get your scores when you get them.
Known to be a bit chaotic with his teaching style, it works for some kids but he does need to reteach certain sections every now and then
One time a kid feel asleep in his class so he had all the other students leave and they had class outside to freak the kid out (They were right outside the classroom window, he could still see the sleeper, he told Phil)
Skeppy: Algebra
Like’s his job, pretty much your average teacher
Can’t stand freshmen, but tolerates them since that’s half the students he has. He prefers teaching advanced algebra to upper classmen
His lessons are always formatted the same, starting with a lesson on how to do that days math, with the remainder of the period being free work time
Holds math challenges with his class and gives out prizes. It’s usually candy, though one time he gave out cash. He made his kids promise not to say a word about it. 
Very good at teaching the same math concepts in different ways to help struggling learners
Always one minute away from being late for first period, but makes it just in time every morning.
Dream: Health/Football and Assistant Basketball Coach
Took the teaching job mainly to coach sports
Still cares about making connections with his students, he uses his class to teach life skills and promote positive social and mental health.
If any of his players are in his class he will pick on them. He has no mercy.
Dreads sex education because no one can be mature about it. He gets revenge by making the students film a “how to say no to sex” video with someone in the class.
His wheeze laugh is iconic. You can hear it from down the hall.
If you meet with him and are honest when you’re struggling, he’ll work with you to pass his class. He isn’t going to ruin your GPA over a project on the negative effects of smoking.
Wilbur: History & Geography/Theater 
The teacher who sits on his desk when he lectures
Is very sarcastic with his students, but knows who can take the teasing and makes sure not to make anyone feel uncomfortable.
Prefers class discussion over solo work time, he likes hearing student’s perspectives and ideas.
Turtlenecks
One of the teachers most likely to be the crush of teenage girls. 
Not afraid to mark you down for sloppy work. You use a black ink pen and draw precise lines when turning in maps and graphs or you redo it.
Speaks in musical references 
George: Physics
The chillest teacher by far
Due dates? Don’t worry, he’ll accept an assignment literally months after it was supposed to be turned in
Makes difficult topics seems simple when he describes them
He doesn’t really care if you have your phone out in class as long as you’re paying attention and learning the material
The students straight up call him George, he doesn’t seem to care
Placing near the top for the most crushed on teacher
King of multiple choice questions
Eret: Economics & Government
Makes any student in his class feel welcome
One of few teachers who can lecture the entire period without students falling asleep. He always has interesting stories
Let’s kids chose where they sit
Freshmen are always caught off guard by his voice when they hear him for the first time
Spends too much of his own money on supplies for his students and classroom (Honestly most teachers have to spend their own money on necessary supplies, he just goes about and beyond.)
There’s always a group of students who eat lunch in his classroom 
The Union Rep at their school, will fight tooth and nail for the staff members
Tubbo: Band Director
Super cheerful whenever he’s teaching
He rarely has any free time before or after school because he has so many one-on-one lessons and meetings with students
Likes to have practice outside when the weather is nice
Does his best to make his students feel comfortable and relaxed whenever he does performance based assessments. 
He’s also a new teacher, but you honestly wouldn’t be able to tell
He will be in tik toks if you ask him to, and he’s familiar with all the pop culture trends
Let’s the students chose a song to play at the last band concert. Some years have been less chaotic than others, the worst (or best, depending on who you ask) being when the students voted to play Deja Vu from Initial D.
Fundy: Computer Science/Coding 
Begins each class with a cheesy computer joke. Every class.
Everyone knows you can’t get anything past him technology wise. He can see that headphone in your ear from across the room.
Isn’t afraid to assign extra work when students are disrupting class
Once took up an entire class period showing his students how he coded different difficulties in Minecraft. He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he plays the game in his spare time. 
About half the students in his class aren’t really interested in computers, they just want to have him as a teacher since everyone says he’s cool.
Known to hack school computers to bypass restrictions
Sucker for pizza parties. Has at least one per semester  
Sapnap: PE/Basketball Coach
Hella competitive 
Abuses his power of having a whistle. Someone should really take it away from him
Gyms shorts every day. Even in the winter. Sometimes he wears sweats, but never jeans.
Doesn’t let anyone sit out of activities
Tries to set up fun tournaments for each activity they do, makes sure to balance the teams so no one has too much of an upper hand.
He’s usually the teacher who mans detention, he tries to make it as positive as it can be though.
Keeps extra sets of gym clothes to give to students who forgot or can’t afford to buy them
Schlatt: Calculus and Stats/Business  
You either love him or are terrified of him
One of the only teachers who can have an “aggressive” teaching style and still connect with students
You will learn something from his class, he makes sure of it. 
Doesn’t accept late work unless you have a really good reason why you couldn’t turn it in
Wears a tie every day
If another teacher needs a last minute sub during his prep period he’ll cover them. Doesn’t matter what subject, he can wing it
He was the reason the school started offering business studies as an elective due to some vague threats towards the district
Niki: Art/German
Teaching voice is so soft
You can’t tell whether or not she’s giving you constructive criticism because everything she says sounds so positive 
Let’s her students lead learning for the most part, she will cover topics that most interest them while still trying to hit the district required standards (luckily teaching electives gives her a bit more freedom with her curriculum)
Her classroom always smells lovely
Will bring in homemade goodies each Friday for the staff room
Holds art galleries at the end of each semester to show off the arts since they often go unappreciated. It has turned out to be a super popular event for students and staff.
Bad: Special Education
This man has endless patience. It’s crazy
Even after the longest days when none of the students are cooperating, he still has a smile on his face
If he hears cursing in the halls he will call you out in front of everyone. Teachers included. 
Makes sure to keep a list of all his students favorites so he can surprise them with gifts on their birthdays or around holidays
He works closely with the other teachers to make sure his kids can be as involved in general education as possible.
Always wears something fun, be it a tie, socks, shirt, or even a full outfit. His students love seeing what new wacky garment he’ll be wearing that day. 
More Head Cannons
If someone brings food for the staff room Tommy WILL take it. Sometimes he’ll come back for seconds, there will be none left by the end of the day. He’s not as bad as Skeppy though, who will literally pack it up to take home for later.
For the past few months the staff members have been receiving anonymous email chains with photoshopped pictures of each other. Everyone was sure Fundy was behind it, Eret thought he saw him teaching his students how to use the program by editing their favorite teachers into stupid situations (they’ve all been school appropriate of course). Fundy did in fact start it, but now so many other teachers have joined in that it can’t be traced back to one person anymore.
All the teachers love going to sporting events. They’ll join in with the student section to cheer on the teams. If they know there’s a kid who doesn’t have family that will come to watch them they’ll make shirts with that players number to show support for them.
Wilbur, Niki, and Tubbo work together on musicals. Niki does the sets and costuming, Wilbur directs, and Tubbo leads the pit. There are plenty of long nights during tech week that devolve into chaos (especially when Niki isn’t there)
Spirit week is very intense, to say the least. The teachers are assigned a grade to be advisors to, and they get into it. For the duration of the week they practically become rivals with whoever isn’t in their assigned grade. They’ll pull pranks on each other constantly, especially when the students can see. It’s all playful of course, but it gets the kids more excited about spirit week when they can support their teachers and watch the amicable rivalries carry out.
Technoblade once joked that he knew every detail about every classic novel. His students took this as a challenge, and tried to find the most obscure and specific trivia questions they could ask him. He has yet to be stumped.
Dream and Sapnap had a running streak of about four weeks where they made everything into a competition. Who could enter their grades into the computer fastest? How many cups of coffee did they drink that day? Who got to school first that morning? There was a tally board in the staff room and the teachers had a betting pool going. Phil finally ended it when they accidently broke the school’s copier trying to see who could scan the most documents in five minutes. Dream was ahead by three points, Sapnap never lived it down.
In service days are incredibly boring, so the staff tries to make those days a bit more entertaining. They order in pizza or sandwiches for lunch. Since there aren’t any kids in the school they’ll do everything they’re no supposed to, like racing office chairs down the hallways and blasting non-school-appropriate music in their classrooms.
Wilbur accidentally started a black market of sorts when he took all the new whiteboard pens from the supply closest. He used this to his advantage, getting people to do him favors in return for the good supplies. When Dream found out he not-so-jokingly threatened to slowly steal everything from Wilbur’s classroom until he released the pens. The next day the closet was replenished once more
Quackity and Tommy are co-emcees for the school assemblies. They hold class competitions between the grades, including spirit chants and ridiculous games. Think minute to win it style, but way crazier. Everyone gets super into it, the upperclassmen usually win. The two have good chemistry and a fun energy.
George has a unit where students make bottle rockets and launch them outside on the soccer field. And every year Karl brings his class out to watch claiming that “it’s science, I teach science, I’ll have them write a paragraph about what they learned”. Really he just wants to watch rockets go brrr
For Schlatt’s birthday one year, Wilbur and Techno printed off shirts with his face on it for all the staff to wear. Schlatt was super confused when he came into work and all his colleagues were walking around with his face plastered across their chest. He got back at Wilbur for it by putting salt in his coffee for a week straight, but Techno never got his comeuppance. It’s debatable whether Schlatt just didn’t know he was in on it, or if he knew better than to mess with Techno.
Lesson planning and curriculum building is quite the process. Some departments can stay on task better than others. Schlatt and Skeppy get in, plan out the term, and get out. The math department has everything on lock. Social studies are also pretty good at getting pre-planning done. They tend to spend most of their time having discussions that aren’t necessarily related to the tasks at hand though. The English department is a mess. It’s really Tommy who’s a mess, he just projects that onto everyone else. Karl and George work well together to map out science curriculum. Even though teachers who teach electives aren’t required to collaborate with each other, they still get together and bounce ideas off each other and get feedback.
I have plenty more if people want a second part. I also only listed the MCYTs that I’ve watched enough to know their personalities at least a little bit, but if you wanted to see another person I may expand the staff list!
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xplr-beauty · 4 years
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Ateez: August Dates ~ Week Two
Second part to the Ateez date series! (If you haven't read the first part, it's fine they aren't super connected)
Also it's 4:24a.m. and I did not proof read so sorry for any mistakes I am the tired.
Hongjoong:
Drive-In Movie
You and Hoongjoong got dressed up and headed to the store to buy snacks for your movie night
One of your favorite movies was playing at a park near your house and your boyfriend thought it would be fun to take you to go see it
At the store you guys raced through the aisles to get all the snacks and drinks you wanted, then to checkout in a hurry so you wouldn't be late for the movie
Hongjoong kept telling you to calm down and relax, saying you have plenty of time before the film starts as he laughs at you softly and slowly looks at all the options just to annoy you a bit
You would pull at his arm telling him to just hurry up and pick a snack so y'all could go, at this he would tease you with a 'hmm but maybe I want this snack? Or to try this one?" As he grabbed several packages and read the ingrediates in them very slowly
You would pout a little, or give him an angry glare, either way it would be enough to make him hurry up and choose a snack much faster
Finally leaving the store you guys drove to the park that the movie was being held at, everything was set up old school cinema style and looked pretty retro and 50-60's themed
Making it in plenty of time before the movie started, Hongjoong drove up to the perfect spot and parked the car asking you if you'd rather sit inside the car and watch or if you wanted to sit on the trunk/outside of the car
Whichever you decide, you guys began setting up.
OUTSIDE THE CAR: Hongjoong took the blankets and laid them out on the hood or back of the car while you grabbed a couple pillows and set them up. Joong took out the snacks and set them between you guys before picking you up and sitting you down on the car, before sliding up beside you. He took an extra blanket and covered you up, asking if you were warm and comfortable. After you were ready to go, he laid his head down on you shoulder and leaned up just far enough to kiss your cheek
IN THE CAR: climbing into the backseat together, HongJoong plopped his feet up onto the middle console and you laid your legs over his lap. He pulled you onto his chest and got you all comfy, he made sure you had plenty of blankets, sat the snacks within arms reach, got whatever else you needed set up for you before he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and began eating snacks while staring at the screen waiting for the movie to start
Soon, the movie began to play!!
You guys laughed together, said the lines in perfect timing with the characters, he pointed out his favorite part "ah, this is my favorite scene!" With an excited squeel like tone as he edged closer to the screen a bit
Every now and then he would kiss the top of your head or feed you some of the snacks, offer you some drink silently or squeeze your shoulder/hand just as a reminder he's there
Once the movie was over he 'woow'd the film and complimented it, discussing the film with you before cleaning up the mess and either walking around with you for a bit or driving you straight home if you were too tired
If you fall asleep on the drive home, he'll be in pure heaven with how adorable you are! He wouldn't even bother waking you, he would carry you straight to bed once you got home. (Even if you don't live together, he would also pay respects to your parents/roommates before he leaves thanking them for letting him carry you to bed so you didn't have to wake up from your precious dream) of course, he would leave you with a kiss on your forehead
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Seonghwa:
Amusement Park
It's been a while since Seonghwa has been to a good amusement park but hearing you talking about them for weeks on end now, he feels like it would be wrong not to take you
Once you both have free time on a day of nice weather, Seonghwa would take you to a fairly new amusement park only a couple hours away
On the way to the park, you guys would decide what rides you were most excited to try out, discussing taking pictures together and eating some good food. You were both really excited
The worst part of the day was standing in the line to get into the park. You were so eager to go on rides and see the park it felt like hours before you got inside
Once in the park however, it was worth the wait! Everything was better than you imagined, more magical than you were expecting. Every single ride looked tempting, all the characters in the park walking around looked fun and so cool, there were little food stalls full of unique and aesthetically pleasing foods, you didn't know where to start.
Seonghwa pulled out his camera secretly while you were in awe of the park and he managed to snap an embarrassing photo of you in front of the entrance, in the photo you looked like you had drool running out of your gaped mouth in excitement!
Seonghwa pointed out three rides for you that were all at the entrance, suggesting you start with a ride to get your blood pumping before heading around the park
The first option was a Go-Kart themed bug mobile racing arena, the second a 'BATMAN' rollercoaster ride, and lastly the 'CYBORG' a 7 story high anti-gravity thrill ride
GO-KART: if you choose the Go-Kart racing, Seonghwa would chuckle slightly as he takes you by the hand and leads you through the crowd of people and towards the colorful building near by. Inside you both got to choose your carts, he got into a purple and orange spotted beetle with a silly face as you got into the one beside his. Seonghwa struggled to put on his seatbelt, looking around the kart in utter confusion. You roll your eyes a bit before hoping out and running over to help your man buckle up, teasing him lightly before getting back in your kart. Once the race started, you guys drove around the garden like track racing up and down the four lane track as you cheer and laugh as you pass by one another. The ride was short but oh so sweet! You would hollar at him a bit as he sped past you on the last lap, though you were able to quickly catch up!
BATMAN ROLLER COASTER: If you decide to pick the roller coaster, Seonghwa would nod in slight anxiousness as you run towards the ride and he follows after you slowly. After waiting in line for a good while with Seonghwa squeezing your hand beside you, its finally time to ride the coaster. Sitting beside you, he would shake the bar a bit to make sure it was locked in tight before the roller coaster began creaking it's way towards the tall climb. The ride was really cool and full of high top drops, loops, and swirls. Sometimes you were upside down, sometimes you were dropping down 15 feet at 50 miles per hour before going on a wingover corkscrew descent fast enough to plaster you to your seat
CYBORG: heading down to the metropolis section of the park that was close by, Seonghwa made a few jokes saying you may be too short to ride and teasing you a lot. However once you made it, it became clear you are not too short! Getting onto the gondola side by side, Seonghwa locks his harness in place and checks yours to make sure it's tight and secure enough, feeling very overprotective in this moment. Soon the ride would start lifting off the ground and spinning on all three axis flipping you guys upside down and all around as it goes fast and then faster and you fly head over heels. The ride had you laughing, maybe screaming, maybe aloud Maybe on the inside. It just had Seonghwa making that 'what am I doing with my life?' Face as he questions silently how the rest of the day will go. Soon the ride lowered to the ground and you were let out of your seats. You would ask Seonghwa if y'all could ride again as you teater totter side to side finding it hard to stay balanced on your own two feet
After this, you walk around for a bit and take photos, either with Characters or fancy props around the park
Between photographs, you two go on more interesting rides, maybe stop for food and some drinks. He takes you into a couple gift shops if they look interesting enough. Basically, he let you dictate the day for the most part
Every now and then he would go all 'mama Hwa' mode on you, yelling for you to stop running, telling you to take his hand as you walk through crowds so you don't get lost, squatting down to tie your shoes, wiping your face as you eat. He would pull you into a gift shop and purchase sunscreen, helping you apply it in the middle of the store saying its too hot and you're gonna get burned if you don't take precautions. He would scold you a bit if you hurt yourself before taking care of your injury for you. He was just, very protective! He even had you guys stand in the shade after every few rides just to make sure that you wouldn't over heat
As the day went by, you guys rode most of to every ride you wanted to go on, he bought you a few things you wanted even if you insisted he didn't have to. He got a keychain with your name on it to add to his key ring so he'd always have a piece of you with him
Before you guys went home, Seonghwa with you on his back and bags in his hand, he stopped to buy a year round pass so you could come back whenever you wanted to. Afterwards, he carried you to the car and buckled you in, kissing the top of your sleeping head and scolding you quietly for making him carry you (though he really didn't mind and he actually quite enjoyed it!)
It was quite dark when you guys ended up leaving and Seonghwa struggled a bit to drive the few hours home but every time he looked over and saw your peaceful face, he felt stronger and was able to get you home safely
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Yunho:
Stargazing
You both were very excited to watch the stars together tonight, all day you walked around looking for the perfect spot which ended up being; the roof OR the garden in the backyard right
Either way, Yunho carried out blankets and set them up to make it more comfortable for you both, he also took out a telescope (if you chose backyard) to make things easier to see
BACKYARD: Wrapped in blankets and standing at the telescope, Yunho looked first in order to place it prefectly in a gorgeous spot before passing it to you to look through. You took turns using it, either him bending down to see little things as you gaze between him and the sky, or you looking through the scope as he holds your waist from behind
ROOF: Sitting on the roof together and pointing to different sections of the sky he traced random patterns out with his fingers, one eye squinted shut as he talks in a cartoon voice pretending the stars are cartoon characters and trying to make you laugh
Throughout the night you look for the constellations and Yunho 'helps' you look for them before eventually asking what they look like and what exactly should he be looking for cause all he can find is an octogon cluster, a few small hearts, Spongebon and Patrick playing leapfrog and a pirate hook
Upon successfully making you laugh, Yunho would grab you by the waist and lay both down together with you in his lap as you stare up at the stars and talk about how peaceful the night sky is
You share your dreams, talk a little about astrology, and discuss your future together as you hold hands and cuddle closely while crickets chirp quietly near by and the faint sound of an owls howl fills the air
Soon it begins to run and Yunho runs you inside so you don't get wet and sick before he grabs the blankets & other things to keep them from getting damaged and unusable
Inside together, you a little wet but mostly dry since he covered you with his body and Yunho soaked from head to toe, you guys both laugh a little
You pull out a towel you had grabbed while he was getting the blankets and things, and you immediately begin to pat him dry as you scold him for risking getting sick
"If I get sick it just means you'll have to nurse me back to health." He whispers a bit while staring into your focused eyes
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Yeosang:
Skateboarding
At the skate park, Yeosang was teaching you how to skate (or teaching you a new trick if you already know how to skate)
He would demonstrate the steps going very slowly so you could learn and understand what he was doing before letting you try step by step
Teaching you how to kick off for this special move Yeosang would show you 2-3 times before helping you onto the board (if you need it) and watching you try to do the same thing he did as he follows semi close behind to help prevent you from falling off just in case
You guys would practice as many times as you needed too before you got it right and he would fist bump nothingness in excitement before cheering you on and letting you know he knew you would get this. "Yes, I knew you could get it! Fun isn't it?"
He would help you step by step repeating this as many times as possible until you learned the full trick, he would catch you every time you began to fall, teach you in different ways if he saw you struggling to much and even when he got frustrated he just took a deep breath and let you know he's proud of you even if you are struggling to get a hold of this
Once you finally nailed the trick he clapped and jumped up into the air cheering in joy for you before running over and pulling you into a big hug or high fiving you, or both as he shows that big smile of his and asks you to do the trick once more as he secretly records you and saves the video to a private file full of photos and videos that he has taken of you
Before you guys leave the park, you both free skate a bit, you may both stand on the skateboard together as he holds you waist and takes you around in a circle, or you may play a little game of skateboard tag together
If you get tired and want to sit for a bit Yeosang would ask of it was okay for him to skate alone or if you'd prefer he sat with you, he didn't want you to feel alone but he really wanted to skate as well and today was the perfect day for it
Eventually you guys leave hand in hand, Yeosang lets you ride his skateboard on the way back home as he holds your hands and guides you, confusing him as he skips the turn onto your street and instead leads you to the ice cream joint and pizza parlor near by insisting ice cream & pizza tastes best after skateboarding all day, you would have to agree to this!
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San
Beach Volleyball
Playing volleyball together on the beach, you and San ran back and forth on your repsective sides chasing after the ball and taking turns hitting it back to each other
You both let out little grunts of exhaustion as you ran, occasionally you would fall and he would let out little laughs before going up to net and checking on you
You would get so happy when he fell so you could laugh back at him before checking on him
You both were being very competitive today not wanting to lose, but also not really keeping track of points
One time you went to hit the ball and it bounced off the net hitting you in the face instead. San laughed so hard he fell to the ground holding his ribs unable to breath, you laughed as well which is why he didn't feel bad for laughing
In the end, you were alright but slightly annoyed at your lovers behaviour
Soon, another couple came up and asked to play against you guys meaning you and San had to work together
You thought it would be really easy since you guys are dating after all meaning you know each other pretty well but uh no, no it wasn't so easy
Throughout the match you and San kept running into each other, accidentally tripping over one another, or just avoiding the ball all in all cause you thought the other one would get it
The couple asked for a lunch break, upon seeing you guys struggling
During lunch, you and San discussed your game plan, one of you would take the front the other would take the back and you would call out your moves as you went to hit the ball
After getting back to the game you again realised that maybe this isn't as easy as you thought
Yes, one of you took front the other took back and yes that made it easier but you both forgot to call out your moves ending in each of you chasing after the ball or running into each other
Eventually, you got things worked and you were able to work well together resulting in a good game! And a fun time
After the game once it began to get dark, the couple invited you to a beach bonfire and roasting food for dinner. San let decide what you guys should do, he was fine either way!
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Mingi:
Driving Through the City
It was about 10pm and you and Mingi were driving around the city, blaring the radio and dancing as well as singing along to all your favorite times
As you drive past buildings you point out special memories together. "That's where we went to watch that musical for your birthday" he pointed to a Broadway studio. "We used to get ice cream over there when you were stressed and needed an escape from work!" You pointed towards an ice cream joint two buildings down
This continues for a while as you turn down random streets and explore the city lights and the beauty of the nightlife after hours. Suddenly 'Photograph' by Nickelback (or any song you like about fond memories) plays and you both sing along, or really belt out, the song while holding hands and being very dramatic and extra with your little car performance
The windows were down and your hair was flying all over the place, the sunroof was open and the moon was shining perfectly onto your face it was a picture perfect moment straight out of a music video or movie
Until Mingi handed you his phone and asked him to take a picture of him at a red light. "Make me look sexy!" He joked loudly as you laughed and rolled your eyes taking pictures of him and treating him like he's your own model "oh right there, ah yes, perfect! That's the one, okay I see you!" You cheered and complimented him making him turn red
Handing him back his phone Mingi asked "do I look shmexy baby?" He went all geeky on you but you still told him he looks perfect before asking why he cares so much just for him to reply with
"I'm sending these to a hot girl!"
You were turn to him so slowly and smack his arm so hard it turned red in an instant. You kept hitting him a bit and yelling at him asking who this 'girl' is as he only screams 'ow' repeatedly
Soon your phone dings and you back away slowly, turning to look at your phone to see he sent all the pictures to you, with some random lettering from his hand slipping between you smacking him
"YOU! You're my hot lady/baby. My sexy girl/man!" He faked cried as he held his arm before the light turned green and he started driving again
You kept apologising and laughing awkwardly, to which he would only stick his tongue out at you and 'tsk' at you
Soon he pulled over to a cookie place on a not so well corner of a secluded street, you guys come here a lot. They have the best white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies ever! And even better fudge chocolate cookies. Actually, all there cookies are bomb.
Getting out of the car and running over to Mingi you kiss up and down his sore arm as he opens the door and walks in after you
You guys order your cookies and grab some drinks before sitting on a staircase outside, Mingi makes you sit in his lap as your payback for the car incident. As you sit together he keeps begging for a bite of your cookie even though he ate all of his without sharing
You have to deal with his 'aaahhh's the whole time you eat, even if you did decide to share he would keep doing this with his mouth wide open like a baby bird
After eating, you walking up and down that one street hand in hand. Mingi usually runs ahead of you but with it being night time, he wanted to stay close by you in case something happened to you or someone came by
After your little walk y'all hop back into the car and finish up your drive home
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Wooyoung:
Spa Day
You and Wooyoung decided to stay inside today
You made homemade face masks, that you are each currently wearing, you did foot soaks and you have him a massage as a way to relax him
Currently, Woo was laying on the floor on his tummy his legs crossed in the air as he hums and paints your toe nails his favorite color, black.
You were falling asleep on the sofa, laid back a towel in your hair that Wooyoung washed for you, your face mask on and cucumbers over your eyes. Your hands flat on top of news papers on either side of you, the polish on your finger nails still needing time to properly dry.
Wooyoung began to sing acapella softly belting out and singing one of your favorite songs as you lay there relaxed
After he finished painting your nails he set the heels of your feet up onto a fluffy cushion to give you the utmost comfort
Next he took a bottle of lotion/cream and began rubbing it into your legs, slowly massaging the lotion from your ankle and rolling it up your calves, behind your knee and back down again giving both of your legs a massage as he continued to sing
You whispered words of thanks that be smiled too and felt happy about
He moved onto your arms and shoulders after finishing your legs
After that you both washed your faces off and took silly pictures in the mirror before Wooyoung asked you to please do his eyebrows
YES: You hopped onto the sink counter, tweezers in your hand as you pulled your boyfriend closer to you. You began plucking away stray hairs and he began complaining about the pain while still asking you to keep going. You were as gentle as possible and finished soon
NO: If you don't feel comfortable with this you would simply explain to your boyfriend that his eyebrows are perfect and they don't need to be plucked or touched up.
Your Spa Day was full of relaxation and spending time with Wooyoung, win-win for you!
You end your day by cuddling together on the sofa/in bed and taking a nap together peacefully
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Jongho:
Summer Festival
The two of you wore your flower crowns that you mafe each other at the last stall as you walked from stall to stall chucking out goods and participating in lots of activitred
They had an archery stall where if you won you got a teddy bear, it was really cute. A brown bear in a sunflower tutu wearing a sunflower crown
Another stall was for pottery, either making your own pot or you could buy someone else's
The booth next to that one was full of beads for making necklaces or bracelettes, there were a lot of tutorial sheets available to help out
Of course food stalls were located between booths - spread out of course but you did have options - from Indian food and some great Chicken Tikka or Tacos a few stalls down. A Korean stall offering tteokbokki and gimbap a little ways off, or you could eat at the food court on the other side of the festival
After visiting all the stalls that caught your eye, you and Jongho set up a blanket in the shade and sat down to play some card games and other games such as Mancala and whatever small game fit in his bag
After hours of playing games, maybe kicking a soccer ball back and forth, the concert finally began.
You guys turn to face the stage, your drinks in your hands as you lay together in the back away from everyone else
Mid concert you would stand up sort of wobbly and reach your hand out to Jongho, pulling him up and making him dance with you as you laugh with him side by side
You both had fun as you swirled in circle to the melody, waved your hands in the air and jumped up and down. The night was beyond perfect
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ohnobjyx · 4 years
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TTXS 200809
Oh, my, I was just watching TTXS, but I can’t help but share the best moments of this... This is golden, seriously (for me at least since I’m seeing two of my favourite actors in the same show).
I don’t know if  you guys know Zhao Liying (ZLY), WYB’s costar in YF. She’s a very powerful actress, and left a very deep impression in me for her role in “The story of Minglan” (知否知否应是绿肥红瘦).
(I must recommend “The story of Minglan”, since some of you seem interested in c-ent. This drama centers in the gender of 宅斗 or the schemes of the inner house, women in ancient times fighting in their own way to get themselves a better life, which usually meant a good marriage. I found refreshing that by playing by the rules of the game, Minglan, played by ZLY, was able to defend herself and the people she loved. ZLY’s rendition of Minglan is a kind and soft girl with a cunning mind, and her portrayal of a soft-spoken character with a steel core really shocked me).
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Sorry, I always end up rambling. Well, ZLY is known by the name of “little knife” because of her sharp tongue. She’s not very fond of small talk and she’s rather straightforward and WH said: “with her, you only have to listen to her first words. The rest is to salvage what she has said”.
Many of you can guess why I’m writing this post (besides the fact that I liked it very much), and I left my opinion in the last part of the post. It’s a bit long, so I’m leaving a cut here. Happy reading!
Disclaimer: a heavy dose of my opinion and a little bit of speculation here.
1. In a video that has already spread on the internet, WH asked WYB if ZLY had invited him to eat.
WYB: we don’t go out very often so...
QF: See? That’s a no.
ZLY: I did invite him!
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Then it’s WYB, all surprised, and like, “oh, yes, yes, she did”. Then QF asks him what they ate, and dd spends a few moments trying to remember: “emmmm...”
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ZLY: there a lot of things... (QF: you remember it so clearly!) I paid, so of course I’d remember it!
(WH: did WYB invite you?) ZLY: he said he was on a diet...
BTW, always pay attention to what this guy actually remembers. He will forget that he was so sick that he went to the hospital several times or the fact that his coworker invited him to eat (at least 3 times), but he will remember that he met XZ in one episode he filmed 2 years ago or that there were swans in a scene they filmed together.
2. Her response to whether they talk is also golden.
WH: do you two usually chat?
WYB: once we were familiar, we chatted.
ZLY: once we were familiar, we chatted 2 sentences.
3. Before, dd’s answer to whether he can eat spicy food was that he couldn’t. But in this one, he clearly says that he can eat spicy food (and in a previous episode, even though the food was too spicy for him, he kept going back to the dish because “he couldn’t stop”). So... who has changed dd?
4. Their interactions while browsing the different stands were also very cute. They look like the kind of friends that doesn’t need a lot of words, but have a good understanding anyway (they have the same kind of character, very straightforward and colder with strangers). They are very comfortable with each other, and I’m glad for that.
I can see why some het-obsessed fans would pair them together (even though ZLY is married and has a baby and they sometimes visited her on the set). What I want to say to that is: compare how they are with each other, how they behave with other coworkers/friends and how they behave respectively with XZ and Feng Shaofeng (ZLY’s husband and his costar from “Story of Minglan”).
I can see that WYB is much more comfortable and relaxed with her than he is with other female celebrities. In fact, in the Tencent Awards night we can see him pausing and offering his help to ZLY, who was wearing a long dress and going up the stairs of the stage very slowly. Or the multiple times he was extremely corteous with her in TTXS. From my point of view, I think that’s because of a combination of the fact that she’s married + they get along well.
Since she’s married (and it may not look like it, but ZLY is 11 years older and she was already in the industry when WYB was in primary school), any pairing between them fans come up with is very likely to be dismissed as just fans’ imagination or baseless rumours.
Even ZLY was able to sense that there was something different when XZ and WYB are together (btw, she had conjuctivitis in her right eye the night of the Tencent Awards, and the stylists chose to hide her red eye with her fringe, which is why we get her left eye side glance).
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Source of the photo: MayXian3.
(For those interested... before this moment, WYB had said something to ZLY from a normal distance. In the next second, he leans so obviously towards XZ that he leaves that huge gap between ZLY and him).
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unsaidholland · 4 years
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carbonara | s. holland
“I promise.” prompt #26 in @t-holland2080​ ‘s writing challenge :)
this was so fun to write and participate in!!
warnings: none !
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liam was the greatest boyfriend you could have ever asked for, that is until he completely ghosted you, deleted everything that you were in or had to do with you off his social media, and became active on tinder again. there were no words exchanged to insinuate the breakup, it just happened. 
you were left with so many questions and not enough answers. why would he leave me? what did i do wrong? the sad part is, not once did you ask how you could get him back. he was gone and you knew it, but he left his sweaters, he had left behind every single thing that would have reminded you of him. none of your friends knew why, and if they did they didn’t tell you. his friends hadn’t answered any of your texts. just like liam, they all had ghosted you.
maybe it was easier for you to pretend like he had never happened, but you were still processing everything. you couldn’t just forget him while you were figuring out what was happening. 
after a week of staying at home sulking, sam decided that enough was enough. he came by your apartment and told you to get ready because you were going to spend the day at his house. as much as you tried to refuse, he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. he was ready to give up anything and everything to make you feel better. he was your best friend, and he took it upon himself to take care of you even if you couldn’t take care of yourself. 
you laid under the covers, on your side in full fetal position, in silence. you didn’t even realize your mom had let sam in, and that he was standing in your doorway until you heard a camera shutter. you sat up and looked over at the doorway to see sam standing there with his phone out. predicting what he was going to make you do, you laid back down onto your bed and pulled the duvet up over your head, earning a small chuckle from sam. 
“come on y/n, it’s been a week and you haven’t even left your house.” all sam was doing was stating facts. you didn’t need to hear this from one more person. you were heartbroken, but anyone would be able to tell. 
“go away sam,” you sighed out. you didn’t wanna go anywhere, and you were not planning on going anywhere, but then sam gave you an offer too good to turn down. 
“if you get out of bed and come over, i’ll make you all the carbonara you want.” how could you turn that down? he was willing to make you unhealthy, copious amounts of your favourite food. never mind the fact that it wasn’t healthy to only have carbs, it was the only thing that made you voluntarily get out of bed, put on a different change of clothes and get out of the house. 
soon enough you found yourself sitting on sam’s couch. the house was empty, his mom was out on a shoot, his dad was out having a meeting, and paddy was at school. tessa sat beside you as you were curled up under a blanket despite the sweater and sweatpants you were wearing. 
sam came back to the couch from the kitchen with two bowls of carbonara, one for him and one for you. murder on the orient express was playing on his tv as the two of you began to eat. neither of you were actually paying attention to the film playing on the tv. sam was waiting for you to open up, while your mind continued to race, thinking of all the possible answers to your questions. 
you took a bite of the pasta and closed your eyes as you relished the dish. sam always made the best food, especially since he started taking cooking seriously and chose to major in it in university. although you were always honest with him with his food, you always loved everything he made. you swore that he had to be your wedding caterer if possible. 
“sam, why did he leave me?” you asked, turning to face him. the bowl of carbonara sat in your lap, half-finished as the movie played in the background unnoticed. 
sam let out a sigh and ran his hands through his hair. “honestly y/n/n, he’s an idiot for leaving you. i don’t know why he did it, but,” sam paused, wanting to choose his words wisely, ”you’ll find someone better.” did sam have feelings for you? he didn’t know. he knew he would do anything for you, but that’s just what friends do, right?
“i’m sorry, this is stupid.” immediately you felt bad. sam was trying to cheer you up, but instead, your mind kept pulling yourself back into a constant cycle of overthinking. “i shouldn’t be thinking about him right now, not when you’re right next to me.” 
your words rang in his head. not when you’re right next to me. what did that even mean? “you’re allowed to be upset y/n, you just shouldn’t have to be alone. i’m here for you, always,” he said, voice getting quiet towards the end of the sentence. he was always there for you, you knew that and so did he, but he wanted to be there for you forever. he wanted you to stop crying over these guys who don’t know how to treat you properly, he wanted you to find the perfect guy just so you could be happy, he didn’t even realize it, but he wanted to be the one to make you happy. 
before he could even think, sam said, “every single time you want carbonara, i’ll make it for you. if you’re heartbroken, if it’s three am, if it’s the middle of the day, it won’t matter. i’ll make it for you.” he had put his bowl down on the coffee table, tessa being good and not eating it. he took your hands in his, looked into your eyes and said, “i promise.”
“don’t make a promise you can’t keep sam,” you said lightheartedly. did you want to take him up on this offer, yeah, of course you did, but you also learned from all the breakups you’ve been through that promises were made to be broken. that’s just the way the world worked, and unfortunately, you’ve fallen into its trap one too many times. 
“i swear to you, i’ll make you carbonara anytime.” his brown eyes shone with determination, determination that wasn’t hidden to you, determination that you picked up on immediately. unfortunately for you, sam was quite stubborn and set in his ways, and he knew he was going to make you give in. 
“i’m holding you to that samuel.” you turned back to the screen, not knowing where the characters were in the plot. your brain was focused on how he was willing to give himself to you through carbonara anytime you asked. 
•••
it had been five years since sam got you out of bed by making carbonara. a few months after that day, he finally realized his feelings for you. now, after dating for a year and ten months, everything stayed perfect. he went from your best friend to your boyfriend, to hopefully your future husband. 
he had a whole plan. he even asked your parents for permission to propose, not that he needed to, but because he wanted them involved in this process. both of your families had decided to go on a christmas/new years vacation together. before you knew it, you found yourself in bali with your family and your boyfriend’s family.
sam was riddled with nerves as you all went to the beach that day. the only person who knew about his plan out of all the hollands was harry, but to be fair, how could he hide anything from the person who has been with him before even being born?
“are you ready?” harry asked him, though he knew the answer. sam was never going to be ready, but he was itching to make it official. he can’t live without you.
“you know i’m never going to be ready, but i’m still gonna do it.” harry gently punched sam’s bicep.
“you got this.” harry smiled at his twin.
sam looked over at you at the volleyball net. sporting a pair of shorts and a blue bikini top, he watched as you were tossing the ball back and forth over the net with paddy. he saw the way his family just got along with you and how they all had accepted you into the family, but now it was time to make it official.
as if on cue, nicola had called paddy over, leaving you alone at the net. tom was in the ocean swimming, but harry had caught his attention, and he came back to where both sets of parents were sitting. sam was forever grateful that he had found a villa that had a private beach connected to it.
“hey love, let’s go sit with them,” sam said when he approached you. you nodded, immediately grabbing his hand. was sam even ready? was he prepared? he swore he practiced what he was going to say over and over again in the shower all the days leading up to this. though he knew he would never be fully prepared, he had a sense of hope that he would be more prepared than he felt now. 
everyone was lost in conversation, mostly talking about how nice the villa that you all had rented was, but harry looked at his twin and saw nothing but nerves and fear. sam thought for a second, here goes nothing. “wait guys can i say something real quick?” harry smiled as he realized what was happening. a chorus of ‘sure’s echoed between the families as he turned to you. 
“i honestly can’t believe we’re all here together in bali, but i actually had a surprise planned for you.” a confused look painted your face as the brown-eyed boy spoke. “i know we’ve only been together for less than two years, but this just feels right - our families together. i promised you years ago that i would make you carbonara whenever, but i have a few promises to add to that if you’d let me. i promise to always be there for you, to always make you happy, to always give you cuddles whenever you want. i promise to love you forever and always,” he paused to get on one knee, pulling the ring out from his pocket, causing everyone to gasp except for harry. “i swear to you, i’ll be the best husband you could have if you would marry me, y/n. so, will you marry me?” tears sprung at the corners of your eyes and rolled down your cheeks. you nodded, not being able to find the words to say. sam smiled, stood up, and captured your tear-streaked lips in a kiss, and when he pulled away, the diamond engagement ring was placed on your ring finger.
as your families celebrated over the engagement, you turned to him. “when we get home, can we have celebratory carbonara?” he laughed, nodded, and kissed you again.
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What Are Friends For? (Johnny Depp x reader)
for anon
You’d grown up in the spotlight, pushed into it by your parents before you even started high school. As a kid, you were entered in pageants and talent shows, then entered the film industry, where you garnered critical acclaim and box office success for your roles. You had a role in the original Nightmare on Elm Street and that’s where you met Johnny, and the two of you maintained a friendship in the years since Nightmare on Elm Street. You shared your lives together; you considered him your brother in everything but blood. Johnny’s the godfather of your kids and they call him Uncle Johnny, Lily-Rose and Jack call you Aunt Y/N, so when you got into a car accident, Johnny was one of the first ones to come to your aid.
Not your parents, but Johnny, and your two daughters, and it wasn’t like your parents were some old and frail elderly couple, they were very much able to care their incapacitated daughter. They just chose not to, and they only visited you once in the entire four weeks you were in the hospital. Johnny had moved into your home to take care of you during the day while your daughters were at school, and day by day you were getting better, thanks to your physical therapy. It was a Tuesday morning and you were staring into your bowl of oatmeal as you thought about the last six months: the accident, your accident making international news, the four weeks in the hospital, and the months of therapy (physical and mental), all the while not once have your parents checked on you to make sure you were okay. But they had no problems doing interviews about your status.
You simply just rolled your eyes as you twirled your spoon around in your bowl as your mother’s voice drifted to you from the television. “Our daughter is a fighter, my husband and I are confident she’s going to come out on the other side of this victorious.” You dropped your spoon into your bowl, your appetite disappearing, and Johnny came from around the corner, drying his hand on a dish towel. “You gotta eat up buttercup. You have PT in half an hour. What’s wrong?” “All of this is such… bullshit! My parents, they’re just loving and soaking up all this attention, they don’t give a damn about me. Never have.” 
For as long as you could remember, you have been your parents’ source of income, and they haven’t worked in decades. Once you were able, you began paying for anything and everything they could need or want: bills paid early, paid off the rest of the mortgage of the house you grew up in fifteen years early, expensive vacations to the most beautiful places in the world, dining in Michelin star restaurants. Anything and everything they wanted, they got it, because they were your parents, and isn’t it just about every kid’s dream to give their parents a life comfortability in their later years? Too bad no one told about what happens when those parents take advantage of their child’s generosity. You figure out what they were really up to when you were eighteen.
You wanted to take some time off so you could go college since all your friends were going, and you never really had a high school experience since you were always on a movie set. At the time, they threw a huge fit over it, claiming that you were just on the verge of a breakthrough, and did you really want to sacrifice your (their) hard work just to throw it away? It clicked into place for you that if you weren’t making money, neither were they; you just wanted a small break from Hollywood, so when you had your daughters, you took a substantial amount of time off just to be a mom, to be a better parent than their grandparents. Johnny took the chair next to you at the table and leaned forward. “I know it sucks, but you will come out on the other side victorious. That’s the one thing they were telling the truth about.” 
Johnny always knew what to say to make you feel better, and he was the only one in the industry who knew the truth about your parents. You quickly ate your breakfast, though you weren’t in the mood for PT this morning. You didn’t want to stay on the subject of your parents any longer so you changed the subject. “So I got an email from the editor of People magazine. They want to do a full spread about my supposed comeback.” When you weren’t at physical therapy, your afternoons were spent going through emails with your PR team about what outlet and publication you would work with for your “comeback” interview and exclusives.
You knew Johnny wasn’t that fond of People ever since they ran that picture of Amber a few months back, and you stood in solidarity with him. “Are you gonna do it?” You shrugged your shoulders, eating the last slice of banana in the bowl. “Probably not. Lauren wants to go with Good Morning America and Steven wants to go with Today.” You honestly didn’t care, you just wanted to get your side out and call your parents out about the truth.
“Will those two ever get together?” Johnny asked and you snorted into your tea mug. “No idea, but I wish they’d just do it already. It’s been well over a decade.” The two of you ate in silence for a few minutes, but there was something you had to tell him before he left for France next week. “Hey, Johnny?” “Yeah?”
“I… I really just want to thank you, again, for helping me, for helping with the girls. I couldn’t have gotten through these last six months without you.” You truly did mean that, and you couldn’t believe how lucky you were to have Johnny as your best friend, your non blood related brother. “You’re my best friend, Y/N. You were there for me, now it’s time for me to return the favor.” He squeezed your hand, and looked into your eyes. “You weren’t really up to physical therapy today, were you?”
“Not at all. Can we just walk around the block with the dog?” “Sure, just let me get my shoes.”
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collectsfallenstars · 4 years
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WARNING: Absolutely long post
IN DEFENSE OF KIM EUN SOOK'S "THE KING: ETERNAL MONARCH"
The King: Eternal Monarch has been getting mixed reviews 10 episodes into the season and it has boggled my mind as to why this has been happening. It’s a grand project, has a robust storyline, beautiful cinematography the likes of which is done for full-length films, and has a love story between two adults who behave like adults and not in perpetual high school. It is very different from most Korean dramas I have come across, and that alone is reason enough to watch it.
 
Granted, I have not watched many of them so maybe I don’t really know what I’m talking about. But what I am sure of is that I get tired of things very easily when they’ve become predictable.
 
See, before watching The King: Eternal Monarch, the last Korean drama I watched was Something Happened in Bali back in 2004. Then coronavirus happened, billions of pesos were to the government but no mass-testing happened, ABS-CBN shut down, people speaking against the government were being put in jail, and I thought, hmm let’s go to Netflix to escape. K-dramas with beautiful autumn colors should do the trick.
 
I watched maybe one or two series in full but soon found myself giving up on the ones that came next. Watching them one after another made it clear that they were built like romance novels – no matter how different each premise was for a series, they always followed a pattern. And patterns, while they may be dependable, can sometimes be boring.
 
And then I decided to give The King: Eternal Monarch a try even though the binge-watching monster inside me disagreed with it. So there I was last week, Netflix open and a lunch of Sinigang na Baboy with rice laid out in front of me.
 
The series opened with a serene view of a bamboo forest, wind blowing gently through it, and the voice of a man talking about the legend of a bamboo flute back when monarchs ruled Korea. Oh, a historical series.
 
1 minute and 40 seconds later, it cuts to a man covered in blood, in a police interrogation room in modern day Korea. Oh, it’s also detective fiction. Gotta watch out for red herrings then. Oh but wait, the man covered in blood, Lee Lim, is supposed to be 70 years old but he doesn’t look a day over 30. I mean, yes Korean genes and skin care are magical but not to this extent. The idea of immortality is introduced which suggests that the series has supernatural elements too. This means world building for these magical elements and forming rules that govern them. (I mean, Bram Stoker and Anne Rice made their vampires perish under the sun and Stephanie Meyer chose to make them…sparkle.)
 
And then 4 minutes in, we get a flashback to winter of 1994 in the Kingdom of Corea. Uhm. Typo? No? Lee Lim, the bastard son of the former king, murders his half brother, the current king, in order to steal the bamboo flute that grants the owner much power. The king’s young son, 7 year old Lee Gon, witnesses his father’s murder, struggles with Lee Lim, splits the power laden bamboo flute in half, and nearly dies if it weren’t for a mysterious figure coming in to save him.  The mysterious figure drops an ID card with the name and picture of Lt. Jung Tae Eul on it and Lee Gon clutches it along with half of the bamboo flute. Lee Lim escapes to the forest with only a broken half of the bamboo flute. He comes upon a pair of obelisks, passes through it and lands in Korea with a K. Lee Lim comes face to face with the face of the person he had just murdered, except he isn’t a king anymore. He’s just an unkempt unemployed man. We now have the introduction of parallel worlds and doppelgangers. It had only been 18 minutes into the first episode.
 
I put it on pause, finished my lunch quickly, cleared the table, and settled down on the couch to watch. I did all that before resuming to watch it because it clearly wasn’t the kind of K-drama you could easily watch while eating, glancing up and down between the screen and your food, missing bits of the subtitle here and there and not paying any mind. Because of its structure, the kind of story it wants to tell and the breadth of its narrative, it demands your full attention.
 
I get why people find it difficult. I found it difficult. But it was infinitely exciting. It’s as if someone laid out a puzzle with a thousand pieces, a maze, Connect the Dots, Spot the Difference in front of me and told me to play with them all at the same time.
 
What kind of story did the writer, Kim Eun Sook, want to tell? She began with the murder of the parents of Lee Gon by his bastard uncle, Lee Lim, who feels he has been deprived of power for too long and intends to take it all for himself. It becomes a story of both sides seeking justice for their own separate tragedies. To flesh out this story, she has to give Lee Lim a plan for world domination and give Lee Gon a defense strategy in place, as well as an active pursuit to entrap his uncle. She has to give them motivations, conflicts, moments of doubt and triumph. If this were the only story she wanted to tell, a linear storyline with flashbacks and flash-forwards should be enough. Throw in a romance, love triangle, one final obstacle, 2 chaste kisses, 1 passionate kiss, 1 tearful kiss, 1 reunion kiss and you will arrive at your happy ending.
 
But Kim Eun Sook wanted to do more. She expanded Lee Lim’s plan for world domination into two parallel worlds. Adding science fiction to the mix complicates matters because you will have to build another world that is visibly different from the other even if they are parallel to each other. Audiences should be able to tell one apart from the other quickly in order to keep up with the story. The difficulty that The King: Eternal Monarch faces is that the Kingdom of Corea and the Republic of Korea look almost exactly alike. It takes almost a few seconds to recognize the Royal Seal, or the European inspired trams running in the background to ascertain that the scene is in the Kingdom of Corea. But once the characters appear, it becomes easier to tell which world we’re dealing with. Jung Tae Eul and the police force belong to Korea. The Royal Staff and family, Prime Minister Koo and cabinet members belong to Corea. The only ones to traverse between both worlds are Lee Gon and his uncle.
 
Therein lies one of the criticisms for Kim Eun Sook’s work – the pace is too slow. I would argue though that the pace is just right when you’re creating two worlds, with very different characters in each, whose stories run parallel to and interweave with each other. It is very easy to place all evil characters in World A and all good characters in World B. But that’s lazy writing, and also ugly.
 
Kim Eun Sook humanizes and fleshes out a significant amount of the supporting cast with such care, developing them alongside the major characters. Usually in dramas, the side characters will get hints of a back story in an episode or two, and then have just one episode dedicated to them. Kim Eun Sook did so much more and in effect, her two parallel worlds became so concrete, with real, moving characters contributing their bit into the two separate forces of Lee Gon and Lee Lim that are about to clash. It creates anticipation, excitement, and spreads your heart out amongst many characters instead of investing your emotions into just the main leads.
 
But aside from the science fiction element, Kim Eun Sook also takes on the task of writing detective fiction into her already robust narrative. Lee Lim is essentially building an army of doppelgangers from the Republic of Korea and planting them in key positions in the Kingdom of Corea. He then takes the dead bodies of these Corean citizens and dumps them in the Republic of Korea, leaving Lt. Jung Tae Eul and her squad in the police force with a trail of unsolved cases. Detective stories are by themselves difficult enough. You begin with a dead body, a search for clues, weeding out which clues are significant, chasing a lead, failing, planting and then ignoring red herrings, closing in on a suspect, interrogation, a surprise turn of events, and so on until the murder is solved.
 
But Lee Lim didn’t leave just one dead body in Korea. There’s an entire army of them and Jung Tae Eul has to be on the trail for some of them in order for her to work with Lee Gon in order to solve them and in turn, help him uncover his uncle’s evil plans.
 
This brings us to one of the major criticisms of this drama – the romance between Lt. Jung Tae Eul and King Lee Gon. Apparently, there’s not much of it as it has taken a backseat to the struggle for power in Corea by the Prime Minister, Lee Lim’s murderous spree and body switching between the two worlds in a bid for a two-world domination, and murder investigations that Jung Tae Eul and her squad must carry out in Korea.
 
Would I like to see more of the actors Lee Min Ho and Kim Go Eun on screen? Why, yes of course! But as early as the 1st episode, it was already apparent that this was not going to be the usual K-drama. They weren’t going to meet cute, fall in love, fight their feelings, work on a murder mystery on the side, finally confess, become a couple, fight the final boss side by side, and then live happily ever after. Fantasy, science fiction, and detective fiction all seem bear equal weight with romance. It was different, and I found that absolutely interesting. And just because romance doesn’t dominate 80% of the story does not mean that the romance is lacking.
 
The first episode tricks you into thinking that there is very little romance in this drama. The lead characters of Lt. Jung Tae Eul and King Lee Gon meeting each other for the first time in the last 6 minutes of an episode that was 1 hour, 12 minutes, and 15 seconds long. What can possibly develop and deepen in 6 minutes? Not much, right?
 
But what happened in the last 6 minutes? Lee Gon rides into Gwanghwamun Square on his white horse after having crossed over from Corea and into the parallel world of Korea. He creates a slight commotion what with his royal handsomeness and almost ethereal white horse. Lt. Jung Tae Eul reprimands him. Lee Gon recognizes her as the woman on the ID card his savior had left behind 25 years ago. And in dramatic fashion, he alights from his horse, walks towards her, stops, and then engulfs her in a tight hug. He tells her, “I’ve finally met you” and the episode ends with a shocked Jung Tae Eul in the arms of an almost reverent Lee Gon.
 
In Kim Eun Sook’s other, wildly popular work, Goblin: The Lonely and Great God the first meeting between Kim Shin and Eun Tak also had that moment of finally finding the one they’ve been searching for. But for the Goblin, his bride’s existence was merely functional, as he needed her so he can finally die in peace. So their first meeting was your typical first meeting in K-dramas. There were no feelings yet, but they develop from there. So the whole drama then became a stage to establish the growth of their relationship that would give him the will to live instead of dreaming of death all the time.
 
But now, in The King: Eternal Monarch, the first meeting isn’t an easy blank canvas.
Lee Gon bursts into the first episode, already halfway in love with Jung Tae Eul long before he’s even met her. As a child, Lee Gon had held on to Jung Tae Eul’s image as his a savior. There is deep gratitude.  As a young orphaned monarch, he held on to the idea of her to ease his loneliness. His first duty as a king was to bury his father and learned to cry only in the privacy of his own room when he was 7 years old. But somewhere out there, there was someone who had cared for enough for him to have saved him. This thought sustained him as he grew up.
 
And at this point in the first episode, we’re working with the idea that time travel hasn’t been introduced yet. Which means we’re treating time as a straight line, allowing Lee Gon and Jong Tae Eul to age at the same time. So if Jong Tae Eul had been 25 years old when Lee Gon was 7 in 1994, then she would be 50 years old and he would be 32 in the present year, 2019.
 
Then, as a man in his 30’s, he still keeps on searching for her. But in his head she is frozen in time as the 29 year old woman in her ID picture, and at this point he might possibly be half in love with her already. And when he finally meets her in the flesh, he had spent nearly all his life loving her in different iterations. Finding out that she hadn’t aged as he thought she would have gives him another possibility of loving her as a man would a woman.
 
Now the audience has to grapple with this idea, that he had loved her for 25 years already, prior to seeing her in the flesh. But then if you add the idea of time travel as hinted at by the 10th episode, then this first meeting becomes heavier. Not only would he have loved her for 25 years, but he also would have loved her for 25 years multiplied by the number of timelines he had crossed as a time traveller.
 
That’s why their first meeting had to happen in the last 6 minutes of the first episode. Everything that happened in that first hour and 6 minutes, all the murders, plotting, collision of worlds, and clash of doppelgangers in the past 25 years had to happen in order to bring Lee Gon and Jung Tae Eul to that fated meeting at Gwanghwamun Square. Kim Eun Sook had played with the idea of destiny with Goblin: The Lonely and Great God’s Kim Shin and Eun Tak. Now she takes the same idea of a fated meeting between two souls, Lee Gon and Jung Tae Eul, and proceeds to tear them apart with time loops, parallel worlds, and a frozen dimension to test how their love can endure all of that.
 
There can be no slow burn; there is no chase that starts with attraction, denial, bickering, jealousy, no you-make-me-worry-so-much love confession that is so often found in K-dramas. The lovers don’t even have that poor girl-rich boy/immortal-mortal or whatever uneven power dynamic that’s so popular in dramas. I guess that's what most people inevitably look for because these things were built to be formulaic.
 
But now you have a writer who is trying to build a bigger, more ambitious story, who is willing to take some risks with that formula in order to tell a love story that can transcend time and universes.  The stakes had to be raised higher, the backdrop made grander, in order to hold a love story as epic as this.   How can this not be romantic enough?
 
There are six more episodes left in this series.  Quarantine has been extended. Give this series a chance. 
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minseologs · 3 years
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more than cattle knowledge
Heavy footsteps fight against the thick mud as she struggled with the cow feed. It was almost twice as her weight, Minseo wanting to keep up with the older adults nearby. She scrunches her face in defeat as she had to catch a breath before someone helps her out. Just then, she smiles, taking the feed scooper and fills the bins with it.
The cattle farm didn’t have a very pleasant smell but she liked helping out with it very much. It was a discovery— an experience— she won’t forget.
~
There are times where Minseo is trying to comprehend the idea of breaking the rules. It’s difficult for her to think that there could’ve been a different person if she would’ve just said no, or took a route where she wasn’t told of the ‘better way.’ One where she chose herself instead of things that would’ve been better for someone else. Every single decision she had made was always in thoughts of her family. Be it as little as a favor or as big as her future.
Whenever they stayed in their vacation home in Gwangju, she always opts out of the family gatherings and visits a dairy farm not too far from their home. She was in high school at the time. It wasn’t long before every summer since her first year, she was volunteering for the company. Minseo learned many things about the cattle’s needs and was great at helping out with everything in the farm.
“Papa doesn’t like it very much,” she scrunches her face, speaking to the animal. She was feeding a calf, who lost it’s mother at birth. “He wanted me to go in business. I wanted to move back to the countryside — find me a country boy and have a good life.” She chuckles the bottle being tilted from her hand. “It’s gonna be super scary on your own... but you’ll be okay. I think the best part is you get to live on this land. Your papa is nice too.”
“Talking to the cows again, Minseo?” She looks up from the stable with a smile on her face from the familiar voice. The man was called grandpa Han, the owner of the farm. “Have you thought of the name yet?”
“Not yet...” she looks at cow again, then once to him. “I’ll think of something— eventually.”
“Looks like this one is female.” He smiles. He checks the vitals and was satisfied. His form sits near by, spending time with her. “So you’re set about business, huh?”
“Suppose so...” she was upset and it was obvious. “I wanted to get on with film too but— maybe I’d have to do what is needed first.”
“What’s needed? You mean what’s wanted, by your family.” She could only roll her eyes as the older one had shot through what was really going on. Grandpa Han takes strands of hay nearby and braids them to form a bracelet. “Listen... One of these days, you’ll have to grow out of that. It sounds cliché but you’ll be much happier in your life if you lived with your own happiness and not someone else’s.” She hands the hay bracelet to her as they shared smile. “It doesn’t have to be now, but remember, your happiness is just as important.” The older one looks at the girl— who he had treated like his own grandchild. He chuckles at her worried state. “Dont over think it, kid.”
“I’ll try not to.” Minseo takes in the advice, sighing at the thought of how her family has expectations. The bracelet is now in her wrist, her thought still runs.
She just wanted to feel accepted by her father.
~
There was a soft amusement on her face as she looks at the cow she took care of years ago, give birth— the calf was stumbling across the hay as soon as it came out and finally stays down. Minseo came to visit at just the right time before going off to spend a month away from the country.
Grandpa Han was long gone after these years. The people in the dairy farm still remember Minseo, and was proud how much she had grown. She started investing and helping the company when she was able to understand the loops of business. It was like she never left Gwangju at all.
Minseo pays a visit on his resting place just off to the edge of the land. She looks at it with peace, yet remorseful at the fact she wasn’t able to follow his advice. Not yet, at least. She learned very many things from him, more than cattle knowledge and things she didn’t even thought of. He was like a father figure she hoped she really had.
“I was accepted in Chung-Ang, on my own. I am very excited for that as well. And then I’m spending a semester in New York for my business studies. I’ll tell you all about it when I come back. I must say, it could be awhile until I do return here in Gwangju.” she speaks over the mound of land, grass covered the little hill as a simple stone of Grandpa Han’s memory was there. She puts down an opened bottle of soju and was braiding hay. “Confessing here too now, I guess... I’m following someone’s happiness but I think I’m happy too. At least, right now... because I feel like papa acknowledged my achievements lately. I’m also hopeful. I’ve met very kind people who I can proudly call my friends... things are getting better, but for some reason I feel nervous. Do you think something’s about to happen?” She stares at his name, then smiles softly before placing the hay bracelet on it. “I’m overthinking, aren’t I?” 
~
“I’ve thought of a name.” She mentions, petting the calf’s head resting on her thigh. Her smile was gentle that Grandpa Han smiles about it too.
“And what is that?” His smile forms wrinkles around his lips, it was a welcoming face— the one you can’t miss.
“Hope.” She pauses, but then chuckles. 희망...? “Oh... that sounded a lot better in my head...”
“Hope sounds lovely.” Grandpa Han writes it down on the paperwork he’d brought. “I think that could be your name” He teases. Minseo shakes her head in disbelief but laughs about it later on. “I just hope she will grow up healthy, and live a good life.”
“She will.”
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ahsnewsupdates · 4 years
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Exclusive Interview with Xander Smith: ‘AHS’ Concept Artist!
Xander Smith, the über skilled and talented concept artist who worked on four seasons of American Horror Story (Hotel, Roanoke, Cult, Apocalypse), was generous enough to answer some of our burning questions about the designs that he created for the show!
Throughout this interview, we will attach images of Xander’s work that pertain to the questions asked. You can check out his full, expansive portfolio by clicking here. 
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Thank you so much for agreeing to this interview! How did your involvement with American Horror Story begin? Were you a fan of the show beforehand?
Thanks, it's one of my favorite projects to have been a part of, so happy to talk about AHS!
I've loved the genre of horror my whole life, to me it's the one genre that you can push all emotions to their limits, and explore the human experience on a much deeper level than other genres. I think this accounts for some of the greatest stories being so horrific in nature: because it's innately human. This also accounts for the genre having the most lame movies too, haha, because it prompts storytellers to try to push boundaries, and oftentimes there's no reason to push a boundary if there's nothing substantive behind it. I think with American Horror Story though, that's not the case. It's deep, it's intricate, and it's very culturally significant.
I had seen the first season on television, and I remember thinking beforehand, 'this is going to be lame, you can't go as deep with TV as you can with an R rated film...' man was I wrong. It pushed boundaries and asked dark, human questions, all while staying relevant and mysterious. I never once thought that they were holding back due to it being on television.
As for the beginnings of my involvement with the franchise, that actually starts with my parent's love of genre films. When I was a kid they would take me to conventions, like Comic-Con, to learn more about film making and meet the cast and crews of various films. That's where my love of design came from. When I was in college, my Dad met Heather Langenkamp at a horror convention, and told her about my pursuit of concept art when I was going to school in Los Angeles. Heather was really kind, and said that when I graduate, I should send her my portfolio; her and her husband, David Anderson, own the legendary special FX studio, AFX. When I graduated in 2014 I did exactly that, they loved my work, and they hired me to work on American Horror Story: Hotel which would come out later that year. Since then, they've hired me to work on the next 3 seasons, I've also been hired by 20th Century Fox on 2 seasons, and by legendary Costume Designer Lou Eyrich for 2 seasons. I'm very fortunate and always have a blast working with the diverse teams that bring AHS to life.
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Starting with American Horror Story: Hotel, you were part of the design process for the Addiction Demon [see above]. Can you talk about that? It was such an obscene being, but at the same time so true to form for the show.
Ah yes, the lovely Addiction Demon. That's one hell of a design to have worked on, ha.
I read that part of the script with David Anderson at AFX Studio, as they would be building the prosthetics, and the infamous 'drilldo'. He looked at me and just, 'alright, do your thing, make it horrific.' And that's what I did. I've seen people in the throes of addiction, and actually lost a good friend in my teen years to drug addiction, so when designing the Demon, I wanted it to be really visceral, painful to even look at. In the script, the Demon rapes a character, and as horrific of a concept as that is, I knew that it's one of those concepts that fits with AHS; pushing the limits, but for a good reason. That's exactly what addiction is: you think it's going to be like great consensual sex when it starts, but quickly the Addiction Demon materializes and it has its way with you whether you like it or not. Truly disgusting, but that's what I thought the design should encompass. So I sketched about 20 different versions, and 1 of those versions stuck, and we decided to take that one further. I sculpted the final design in Zbrush, and that's the concept that Ryan Murphy picked. The brilliant team at AFX brought it to life, and that's the demon you see in the show.
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You also produced fantastic concept artwork for Lady Gaga’s character’s chain mail glove [see above], alongside costume designer Lou Eyrich and designer Michael Schmidt. How did that design develop? Was it fun designing for Gaga?
Thanks! Yes that might actually be my favorite piece I worked on. Lou Eyrich and Michael Schmidt were awesome, I think we came up with an iconic piece that's uniquely elegant and fit for a horror queen. It was very motivating knowing that it would be worn by Gaga, so as I was translating Michael's sketch, I wanted to maintain a balance of stylishness and darkness, something that both Lady Gaga and American Horror Story is known for. It was incredible to see it in the posters. Definitely a highlight for me.
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Moving on to American Horror Story: Roanoke, you produced terrifyingly good concept art for another one of the show’s iconic villains, the Piggyman entity [see above]. Since that same figure was also featured in the first season, did you look back for inspiration?
Great question, because for Piggyman I was back at AFX Studio, working on the design with David Anderson, and we certainly had a lot of the same inspiration and ideas on how to do the design justice for such a horrific piece. There was a lot of shocking content surrounding him, like pig fetuses and butchery, and we just went all out on letting the character bathe in so much debauchery. It was also really fascinating to be designing while their FX team was sculpting the prosthetics (the production schedule was very intense), and I got to see sculptor Glen Eisner working on the pig head and stomach pieces in clay, only a few days after I had worked on the concept art. Incredible process.
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On the same season you collaborated quite closely with the makeup department to design concept art for some of the season’s makeup looks, including illustrations for Kathy Bates’ and Finn Wittrock’s characters [see above]. Wittrock played incestuous hillbilly Jether Polk and the final product was quite frightening. How did that process go?
Also a really fun process, I got to meet some of the actors as they came in for face castings, while I was deforming their faces in the concept art- I almost felt guilty! We pulled a lot of inspiration from medical journals relating to birth defects, and we stayed pretty close to reality, as we saw fit for the Roanoke season. I was also busy terrorizing Kathy Bates image while designing what the character's demise would look like. Since there are a lot of complicated practical effects involved in the gory scenes, we spent time illustrating what the wounds would look like ahead of time. By the end of it, I had like 2 full pages of various gory ways Kathy Bates could meet her end that we presented to production, and they chose one of the most horrific ways that fit with the script (of course). Hopefully Kathy is used to it after so many years as a horror icon!
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Arguably your most prolific designs for the show were for season seven, Cult. You produced some stunning concept art for the clown masks and general appearance [see above], some of which weren’t seen in the show but absolutely should’ve been. They look slightly ‘mechanical’. What was Ryan Murphy’s pitch there?
Completely agree, I really love the final designs. Unfortunately, for as much art as I did for this season, none of my designs fit the script well enough, I just couldn't hit the mark, and so my work did not make it to production. It happens, and that's why there are many artists on a project! I appreciate you saying they should have been in the show though! I think I focussed too much on the clown/mask angle, and less on the political/cultish angle, which is where the magic of that script was. In true American Horror Story form, it is a cultural commentary on the times, and I feel I was not paying as much attention as I could have. That being said though, I had a blast working with the crew at AFX Studio again, and we worked on a lot of pieces that at least helped move production forward. Sometimes it's useful to see a design that's not quite right, just to move the production in the right direction.
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The last season you worked on was of course the crossover season, Apocalypse, for which you designed the Outpost Three hazmat suits [see above]. The plague doctor influences in those designs was a stroke of genius. How was it blending dystopia with 17th century Europe? Also, were you aware that Apocalypse was the crossover season when you started work on it?
I think I got my mojo back on this season, since not only were my illustrations on those hazmat suits finalized for the script, but I was also able to do some of the 3D modeling for the Plague Doctor masks that were 3D printed and worn by the cast as props in the show. That was a really rewarding experience, and I was working under Lou Eyrich again who is the genius behind the blend of dystopia and 17th Century Europe that characterizes Apocalypse. We did probably about 50 different sketches of those suits, and explored such a wide variety of directions and blends of dated technologies, medieval influences, hazmat suits, and gas masks. When we had a solid direction, I did a tighter illustration of a generic suit that could be worn by any one of those characters (one of the keys to the design was that they could be worn by several different body types, as per the script), and then did a final piece that showed Kathy Bates wearing the mask. I'm really pleased to have come up with the idea of the 'plastic plague doctor' design, and thrilled to see it on screen.
I wasn't aware that it was the crossover season either, I wasn't given that part of the script, but that let me watch the revelation in real time with the rest of the world!
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Lastly, would you like to design for American Horror Story again in the future? What is your “dream theme” that you’d like the show to explore?
Absolutely I would love to return some day and help flesh out some new designs. Some of the later seasons have been less concept-heavy, but I've also had to pass on the work as I've been involved in other projects, and of course have been busy helping found my current company, Aliza Technologies.
But you never know what the future holds!
As for a 'dream theme', that's such a good question because I feel there are so many interesting directions the show could take. They've built such a rich world where stories can take place across a range of time periods and genres, and that's a real gift to horror fans. One of the elements I really love about AHS is that when it delves into the supernatural, it does it in a really measured way. I've always found ghost stories to be a little bland and heavy-handed, but since AHS is so nuanced in its supernatural material, especially in season 1, I think it would be really interesting to see them go the heavy handed way, lead the audience down a super super-natural route for half a season, and then absolutely pull the rig from underneath them halfway through, and have a natural explanation for all the 'supernatural' elements. It would be a complete mind-f**k, like 'wait, there were no ghosts at all??' and have that realization be even more horrifying. I'm no writer, but I think a concept like that could be really interesting... Also set the mystery across several different generations so that the supernatural explanation is more appropriate for an older generation, and is busted open by the modern take. Image what the flashback reveals could look like, and imagine the types of 'ghosts' I could illustrate...
Thanks for the questions, now I'm off to do some script-writing myself...
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(Also, special mention to Eryn Krueger Mekash and Mike Mekash who designed the makeup looks!)
Xander’s links:
Official Website: https://www.xandersmithdesign.com/
ArtStation: https://www.artstation.com/xandersmith
Behance: https://www.behance.net/XanderSmithDesign
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/xandersmith_design/
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honeyctzen · 4 years
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scarred leash (prologue) - m.l
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IMPORTANT: This is the prologue for my newest fanfiction and is an introductory to the main character and the themes of this story. It involves sex, bdsm, self harm and themes relating to that matter. It will also not just be sex, but have an actual story and characters falling in love. If any of this is not for you, my other works are much lighter and less “plotty”. I really hope this excites you for the rest of the story, I am very much proud of it. Thank you! - Maisie ♡
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
I was sixteen when I chose to leave home without even whispering a word to anyone. Sixteen when I decided I had to go out alone into the world, to make my own way with the little experience I had gathered so far. It took a long time to map out my plan, endless days that turned into sleepless nights. I spent most of my last teenage years memorising a singular night, a night that would lead me into the next stage of my life.
My dusty countryside town was a few hours from the monumental London. I thought about the city all hours of the day, the faraway land that was London. The idea of even stepping foot in it was weird and foreign and still, it was the only place I ever wanted to go. I’d lived in one place for my entire life and rarely ever left the town, in fact I’d only left it a few times. All because of hospital trips. The idea of living away from that place was terrifying and yet, completely exhilarating. Given that back then, I’d been pretty naive to how the world works as I’d never been told of it. I wanted a nice house, nice job, maybe I would meet a nice person and we would have a nice relationship. I had come to learn as my research into London and life in general continued that it wouldn’t be that simple. Everything was complicated. If you wanted a place to live, there was several thousand procedures you had to endure. If you wanted a job, you had to have a thousand different qualifications. I thought after realising all this that my hopes of leaving were over, that was when I had begun thoroughly planning.
Through school and college I was able to obtain the qualifications I needed to move away and work in business. I knew I would have to work for a few years before I gained any sort of fulfilling job, but I had endured years of education, I understood patience. Through research I had found a small flat that I would be able to pay for with money I’d saved over the years and earnings from a job I would later procure. Life would still be difficult, I knew this. I was a young, inexperienced girl moving out to a tumultuous city, it would be dangerous. Though I had concluded long ago that dying in this new fantastical place was far better than peddling on back home, where I would die unknown, just another body in the wet dirt underneath the town church.
I knew by leaving that I was inflicting an unimaginable amount of pain upon my mother, who was as neurotic as she was suffocating. Though I understood she didn’t mean to be, I couldn’t bring myself to feel sympathy for her. My father ran, as did my older brother, leaving me and my ailing grandmother the only people she had left. I wasn’t old enough to understand why my father had just abandoned us but once I grew enough to comprehend love, pain, divorce, I got it. This town was the entire world for my mother but as I got older, she realised it wouldn’t be for me. Instead it would be a restraint.
The first time I recall my mother knowing I would be difficult is when I was eleven. I developed much quicker than most children my own age, breasts already sprouting on my chest, hair spreading over my body. There was a huge wave of name calling, little jabs at my appearance, and while I tried to ignore it, eventually it burrowed beneath my skin. That was the same year I cut myself for the first time. My fingers coiled around a pair of scissors, pressing the metal over the flesh of my arm until a litter of red scratches appeared over the pale skin. Back then, it was just a punishment, a way of controlling myself from completely losing my mind. I stopped it for a while. In natures due course, the other girls grew into their bodies and I was planted back into an unremarkable place among my peers. There was no bullying and so, I forgot about cutting myself for a couple years.
While I had physically matured much quicker than others my age, mentally, it seemed I had been halted somewhere. There appeared no reason for it but the things that my schoolmates were interested in disgusted me. When a friend first showed me porn, I remember feeling vomit rise up in my throat. A woman, bundled up with rope, a muscled, balding man arched over her. The blood curling shrieks that filled the room felt torturous. I couldn’t understand how people liked this, how they liked it enough to pleasure themselves to it. I suppose that was when my fascination with sex begun. Initially, it was hatred, a complete abhorrence for the thing, a vexation that appeared randomly and intensely. If a classmate would mention it, or describe any sort of sexual act, I felt ill. My stomach twisting uncomfortably as the boys all called out derogatory names for the women they had seen in the films and then once again, I grew to hate my body.
I was fifteen the next time I cut myself. It was much more deliberate, much more intense. I had swapped out the dull scissors, for a pocket knife a friend had gifted me. It was able to bury itself much deeper than before and immediately, with the first slice, a tsunami of relief rolled over me. Though, it was a different kind of relief than it had been those years before. I found myself thinking back to the woman I had seen in the porn, the intricate ropes that clasped themselves over her limbs, the pained screams that passed her lips. The man leaning over her figure, how his fingers gripped the flesh of her waist, how he bevelled his teeth down onto her neck until it bled. I found myself recalling each detail of the images I had seen so long ago, and I found myself cutting down into the flesh as the memories scurried across my brain.
I felt guilty afterward, an awful guilt that followed me around for weeks. But then, a boy would mention shapes they had seen in porn and suddenly, I would feel the urge to damage myself again. It spiralled quickly. So quickly that I, myself, was shocked. Instead of recalling images I had seen, I created my own imaginations. Blurred, colourless visions of violence, and sex dulling into one, all as I pulled a knife against my own skin. It continued for months, months of fantasies and cutting and by the time my sixteenth birthday hurdled toward me, I had a plethora of thick scars covering my arms and legs. Though that didn’t faze me when finally, three years after all my friends, my mother bought me a cell phone.  
She would scour over the phone from time to time, checking my messages, calls, emails, and all other forms of communication. Yet, of all the applications on the phone, my mother was the most ignorant to the internet. She didn’t understand the concept of it, let alone know it was built into the mobile and so, I was able to roam free for the first time. And I roamed. My inexperience meant I didn’t know what sites to go to, nor did I know which keywords to search. The titles of the videos that came up almost seemed to be in a foreign language but after a couple of trips to the websites, I gathered the premise of each category. After locking myself in the bathroom, I would go to the sites and type in words such as bondage, submissive, sadism, pain and the things I liked would appear. Though I now understood how people looked at porn, I still didn’t understand why they touched themselves to it. Merely pushing a blade into my leg as I watched seemed to be enough. I wasn’t sure if it was sexual for me, or if it was a punishment thing as it had been when I was younger.
My understanding of my own sexuality went little further than this and my adventures on the websites dwindled until they stopped. It had grown to stop making me feel any better, and so I began inflicting more serious physical harm upon myself. The hospital visits followed soon after, as did my mother’s rantings about how unhealthy that stuff all was for me. For once, she paid attention to me. It almost felt nice, deserved. But I couldn’t hold it for long, as quite abruptly, my grandmothers health began to decline. She died a while after growing sick, and the absence of her in the house made my mother somehow more insufferable. And though we lived in the same house, it was almost as if we were separated by an unseen barrier.
I didn’t completely mind, it gave me enough solitude to go about my planning. Endless research into where I could live in London, what jobs I could obtain with the qualifications I would acquire after leaving sixth form. It took a while to find what would suit me right but after I finally latched onto it, my future suddenly felt full, meaningful almost. I now had something to look forward to, something to work toward. So, I studied harder, concentrated on the daydreams of my new life away from the idle cottage town. My grandmother had left some money to both me and my mother, more to me. I insisted I was able to tend to my own finances and after long bouts of pleading, my mother agreed. I had money, two months left at sixth form and then I could leave.
Time blurs together, memories jumbling, I can barely remember the last few months back home. But what I do recall vividly, is the night I left. I had booked train tickets the week prior and planned to stay in a hotel while I found somewhere to live. I needed to be close to the central city, I knew that much, though, not much else. I’d found a job interview for admin staff at a stockbroking company. My business a level came in handy, and my odd passion for calculations and numbers did too. If I could just get this job, if I could get that flat, I could make it.
I chose to leave during the night, climbing from my bedroom window, scuttling across the streets like a fragile hedgehog. I’d never even snuck from my house once before and the first time I was, I was doing so knowing that I would never come back. With every step I took I thought I would be caught and hauled back home by my hair. Each step further from the slanted bungalow made my heart beat a little faster until, gradually my pulse slowed, and the gentle pitter of my feet grew to calm myself. Though I didn’t feel completely secure until I passed the welcome sign to the town. But once I did, I felt a weight pulled from my stomach. A sudden notion that I had done it, I had gotten away like my father and brother did years ago, like my grandmother had in death. I was now free to do everything I had lost the chance to do through my mother’s coddling. I could drink, do drugs, have sex with an endless stream of people, work. I found myself grinning as I wandered further from town, the dishevelled map directing me toward the train station. The smile pulling at my lips until I worried they would rip. And it only widened when I spotted the station, when I saw my train, when I boarded, when the train began to drift from the docile place I had called home.
I knew that now, I was reborn, I was my own person. It had taken three years to map everything, to prepare myself for life away from the secure blanket I had been smothered with all my life. But now, it had all come to fruit. I dreamt of London on the train, my head pressed against the window, my scarred legs trembling with the thought of all the things that I could do. My chest thick, and heavy with excitement.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
London was everything I had imagined and so much more. It was larger than anything I had ever seen back home, with each building bigger than the next and thousands of vehicles filling the roads. As the train eventually rolled into the city, my eyes clasped over each detail that began to emerge. The differences of the people that wandered the streets, the warmth in the chatter that clambered through the train windows. Everything was so different, so good. I found myself smiling away as I watched from my place in the tube container, my toothy grin shining back at me in the reflection. I was finally there, finally apart of everything I had read about.
Walking the streets was even better, even more real. My feet paced the same tempo as everyone else, my body dipping between the mounds of crowd as I ambled through the roads, glancing down at the map I had printed back in my murky home. The directions were confusing, each street twisting awkwardly to the next and what should have been a five-minute walk turned into two hours of working out where I was. Though eventually, after consulting several locals, I found my way to the flat I had seen in the ad weeks ago. It was in what my mother would have called a ‘ghetto area’ but it was still much larger and greater than the street I had lived on all my life. It looked a normal house though split into three different flats, with a garden leading up to the two doors and ivy climbing up the sides of the home. I’d felt nervous to knock, I wasn’t particularly sure why. Perhaps because the person to answer could have been my future roommate but now, thinking back, I shouldn’t have been.
The person that had answered was taller than me, her gangling arms hanging low, one raised to her mouth as she nursed a cigarette. She was beautiful in an odd way, striking, her nose large and hooked, hair shorted and burnt from styling. She smiled widely when she spotted my obviously anxious face, her voice pouring out in its deepness.
‘The tenant?’ She mumbled through puffs of the intensely clouded cigarette.
‘Um, yeah.’
‘Cool, cool, yeah, sorry, come in.’ Her accent was prominent, thick and harsh but calming all at once. I smiled as I stepped into the flat, the stairs immediate at the entry. I stood beside my single suitcase, my backpack still on my shoulders, her gaze dancing across them before she turned away. She climbed them ahead of me, her feet clattering against the wooden steps and I trailed behind, eyes clinging to each detail of the walls. I wanted to take in as much as I possibly could, I wanted this to be my home, my sanctuary.
Once we stood in the depth of the flat, the girl began to speak again, pulling the cigarette from her mouth for a moment. Throwing her body onto the dusty sofa and awaiting me to sit beside her. I allowed the bag to drop to the floor, my feet pushing it further from me. My lanky limbs folded in on themselves as I perched on the seat, features impossibly too bright for the dullness of the flat.
‘You’re eighteen?’
‘Nineteen.’ I corrected abruptly.
‘Okay, you just have to be eighteen to rent, but that’s fine then,’ she said, inhaling from the stick before releasing the dense cloud into the room, ‘so, um, this is it.’
‘Um, what’s your name?’ I ask quietly.
‘Oh, shit, sorry, I’m Rose, and you?’
‘Ellie.’ I mumbled.
‘Are you the owner?’
She snickered, ‘Uh, no, my uncle is so I get a discount, barely, but, it helps. Um, he doesn’t really care who moves in but I, I do, I live here, so.’
‘Yeah,’
‘You’re not from here?’ She asked, finally pushing the cigarette into the ash tray that sat near her. The smell still strong but dissipating enough for me to open my mouth to speak.
‘No, I um, actually moved here today.’
‘Shit.’
‘Yeah, um, so, I’m new to this.’
‘Where you from?’
‘A little town just outside Sheffield, I, um, hated it, figured it was time to get away.’ I explained as briefly as I could, my fingers instinctively pulling on my sleeves whilst I spoke of home.
‘For a bit or are you staying here long term?’ She questioned, eyes flitting once more over the lack of things I had brought with me. It hadn’t been that I had forgot much, I hadn’t owned many things back home, not things that warranted bringing anyway.
‘Long term.’ I answered immediately.
‘And you’re gonna work here?’
‘Hopefully,’ I chuckled, ‘I have a job interview tomorrow, so, I um, I’d find work anyway, so I could pay, but,’
‘Cool, so, you want to move in then?’ She proposed, her voice soft, speaking the question as though it held no merit. My stomach churned, lips parting in another goofy smile, head nodding vigorously.
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eccentricpony · 4 years
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Hi, your kaomojis were so cute! UwU Could I request a movie theater date hc with Tenma? ty!!
Hey anon, thanks for visiting my page! I’d be happy to write this for you! I’m going to write in the style of bulleted imagine if that’s okay. My writing style is usually a usually a little campy humorous, a little emotional, a little sexy, and sometimes flowery.
I apologize if my tenses changed, or the style changed, but I just wanted to have fun with it. Maybe possibly a tiny bit implied NSFW but not really. 
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·        You were determined to take Tenma to a movie theater as soon as you had found out he had never been to one.
·        Despite his fame, you had learned that this child star beau of yours had missed out on many opportunities that you had taken for granted growing up. Your boyfriend was an odd blend of mature and immature due to his isolation and the pressure to manage a full-time profession at the age of seven. Fame has a price, as they say.
·        He was hesitant at first – visiting a heavy traffic social scene meant donning sunglasses, avoiding eye contact… but you had already figured that part out! You’d be soliciting Monster Movie Night at the old theater-turned-cinema in the town square. You were sure Tenma would appreciate the 19th century theater aesthetic, and it was sure to have less attendees than the cinema at the mall.
·        And what better movie genre to experience in an old, darkened theater than a classic horror!
·        Yeah, no, Tenma was having none of that.
·        He claimed that the movie you chose had received bad reviews.
·        You then forwarded him the 97% fresh rating from RottenApples.com.
·        He argued that the antagonist of the film was an actor he had worked with before and it would be “too weird” to watch someone he knew go on a killing spree.
·        You proceeded to locate said actor on IFDB.com to find that he had passed away two years before Tenma was born.
·        The lake of excuses having run dry, Tenma agreed to pick you up at 1pm that coming Saturday.
·        Tenma was a bit more fidgety than usual in the back of his family limo. You assumed that it was date night jitters, which was so very precious. The old-fashioned theater marquee came into view, and you excitedly shuffled closer to the window. Nightmare on Birch Street! It had been ages since you had seen the film, and you couldn’t recall how the victims had all been killed… was it Chauncey who had been impaled by the school flagpole?  You continued to jabber excitedly, the exhilarated sentiments floating through your head remaining unscathed as Tenma had the common courtesy to feign a cough so you couldn’t glimpse his sour expression.
·        The journey from the ticket kiosk to the theater was uneventful. There were a few stares, and a “Aren’t you that kid? From the show? At that school?” but you made it to your seats in under 10.
·        Wow, they really renovated this place! It was a bit sad to see that the creaky wooden seats of the theater had been replaced with cushy, high-tech armchairs, but it was comforting to know you wouldn’t be suffering a butt-ache following the film.
·        Immediately, Tenma started messing with the seat like he was in a dentist’s chair. Leg rest up, back down, leg rest down, back straight, back flat. 123 degree angle…
·        “Don’t you have chairs like this at home, rich boy?”
·        “Yeah, but I never sit in my living room. There’s never anyone there.”
·        Oh. You held out the bag of popcorn as a peace offering. “Well, you know that you’re welcome at my house any time you like.”
·        “Yeah so I can recite the monologue from Shinobi Love Song to your mom for the 100th time? I’ll pass”
·        “Forget it, sunshine. It was hasty of me to assume you’d be able to find my house without the guidance of Igawa…”
·        Cheeky banter was the norm with the two of you, and you never tired of it. He handed you the box of Soup Patch kids with a feigned scowl as the lights in the theater began to dim. Leg rest up, back at a 95 degree angle was his final decision.
·        He figured he’d have sometime before the killing started, so he decided to try and pay attention to the overall plot and characters, in case you had questions for him later. So wait… the killer doesn’t actually murder them in real life, but in their dreams? What kind of late night, infomercial hour, made-for-TV junk is this…
·        Time to do the classic yawn and stretch. Smooth as a milkshake, he performed what he felt was a very believable yawn (practiced to a fault due to all of his roles as a too-cool-for-school hottie) and casually rested the stretch of his arm across your shoulder.
·        You had been dating for about 7 months now. You had been moderately intimate. For Tenma to put on this song-and-dance just to hold onto you was a surefire tell that he was nervous. You hadn’t even really considered that maybe he didn’t like horror. You just assumed that because he was an acting professional that he was also a film aficionado, and a fan of all genres, at that. Stop pigeonholing him! you reminded yourself. Sure, he was perfect to you, but you had to let go of those preconceived notions.
·        You turned and leaned closer to him, close enough to kiss. His throat constricted, he had heard there was more to these cinemas than just watching the movie. He prayed to God that this was your intention all along.
·        “We can leave if you’re not into it” you insisted into his cheek.
·        Pulse still quickening through his neck, he sat back and shook is head.
·        “Nah babe, it’s cool. I liked the…” He proceeded to regurgitate every possible fact he had learned about the film within the last 15 minutes.
·        Damn, so he was paying attention. You knew there was no point coaxing him to leave once he had made his mind up to stay, so instead you leaned forward and gave him a peck on the nose.
·        “You’re adorable.”
·        “Tch…” He bristled returning his back to the seat, but with the pouty pleased grin of a child who received praise for a shitty drawing. He watched as your eyes returned to the screen, and you flicked a few pieces of popcorn into your pretty mouth. Now what to do?
·        Anything but look at the screen, really. Beads of sweat began to collect on his brow as the movie soundtrack reached a crescendo. He swiftly brushed them off into his already unruly ginger mane. He needed to distract himself, at least until the slicing and dicing had desisted.
·        What’s this hole for? Tenma located an out of place hole attached to the arm of the chair. It doesn’t seem to have a bottom, but it does taper off deeper down. Curiosity got the best of him, and he casually slid his hand down into the soft drink cupholder. That’s freakin’ weird, there’s nothing even down there. Dumb. And he promptly finds his hand very much stuck.
·        Shit, now what? Now he was really sweating. Some freakin’ great newspaper article this would make. “Teen drama heartthrob finds himself arrested not by the eyes of a young beauty, but the grasp of a plastic cupholder.”  His father would kill him, to be sure. He’d probably have to sign autographs for all of the firefighters who removed the plastic cupholder from around his sore wrist. Here he is, trying so very hard to be a man’s man, to weather the barbarism that is horror cinema just to impress you, and now he’d gotten his hand stuck in the metaphorical cookie jar like a damn kid.
·        He twists and pulls but he can’t get the heel of his palm back through the opening. He jerks his hand in frustration and elbows your flimsy paper cup of Canada Dry. Oh, so that’s what they’re for…
·        “Hey! You got ginger ale on me, what are you doing?” You cocked an eyebrow at his hunched form.
·        “Sorry, sorry! Yeah, I- I think I’ve got it. Don’t worry about me- hey! I think that guy in on a TV show with my father.”
·        Snapping your head back to the screen, you consented that the man did indeed work with Tenma’s father (you’ve told him this before, he’s one of your favorite actors, and now you need to remind him again why his acting is so transcendent that even in a horror movie he can make the most mundane gestures seem so…)
·        To Tenma’s great relief, it turns out ginger ale makes a passable lubricant. Using the splash that now trickled down his forearm, he twisted his wrist and managed to retrieve his very sore hand, tingling with pins and needles as he returned it to his lap. He sensed that you’ve finished your rant and offers a vacant smile. “Yeah… he’s a talented guy…” Crisis averted.
·        Back to all the crazy shit happening on Birch Street. Tenma blanched as the whir of a chainsaw could be heard offscreen.
·        “You okay? he asked, leaning over to comfort you which really wasn’t necessary whatsoever since you actually seemed extremely excited and not the least bit worried or bothered by all of the disgusting blood and guts and weird fleshy ceiling splayed onto the wall by the projector overhead.
·        Before you had a chance to reply, he nuzzled in close to you, his hair brushing your cheek as he snuggled next to your chin. D’aww. You wiggled closer, touching the side of your forehead to his as the shrieks of the Final Girl could be felt penetrating the very seat below you. Great acoustics.
·        Tenma wiggles his head into the crook of your neck to avoid looking at the carnage, murmuring an almost devious “Don’t be scared” into your ear before pressing a kiss to the column of your throat.
·        Your heart leaps into your ears at the sudden burst of semi-public affection; Tenma wasn’t big on PDA, and you were cool with that. He smelled like a mix of clean cotton and Cool Water (they still make that?) He didn’t really do much besides camp out there above your collarbone after that, but his ghosting breath gave you pleasant chills, so you didn’t tell him he was missing the best part.
·        You smelled like almonds and Freesia, he considered. His mother loved Freesia and she had planted them all along their estate courtyard, though she was rarely at home long enough to enjoy it. Tenma enjoyed sitting in the courtyard as a child. While the house was always eerily silent aside from the sterile hum of electricity, the courtyard was always full of tweets and twittering after school, and a discordant chorus of various chirping in the evening. That was what homes are supposed to be like, he had always thought. Chaotic and noisy, but full of life. It was his safe haven, and you carried the scent of it on your skin. You were his new sanctuary… a little pocket of protection from the pains of fake friends and real insecurities.
·        These are his last thoughts before he fell asleep. You realize he’s out like a light as the credits roll, and you feel a sliver of drool trail down your clavicle. Hot.
·        “Tenma? Hey!” He startles awake and you attempt to suppress a grin. “Hope it was a good dream.”
·        Tenma may not have book smarts, but he’s far from stupid. He knows that you know he hated it, and he knows that you know that he knows he was just playing the brave guy to shield his ego. He was beginning to confuse himself, so instead he focused on the core of the matter – he loved you enough to feign interest in something you liked, and you loved him enough to go along with it.
·        “They’re always great when they feature my favorite co-star.” He leaned forward and gave the bridge of your nose a chaste smooch.
·        Gahhh. The right side of your mouth pinches up in a grin. Damn you and your flawless smileyou’re your immaculate stage presence.
·        After he returned his hat and sunglasses to their proper place, with twin grins syrupy-sweet enough to make Yuki vomit, you exited the theater.
·        Once outside, he took your hand and pulled you off to the side of the theater, at the mouth of the little alleyway that led to a street behind the theater. His wide palm and long fingers felt warm and comforting, though rather sticky and smelling oddly of ginger.  
·        “Thanks for coming out with me. I know it’s a pain in the ass for you,” you offered before he could speak.
·        “Nah,” he deflects. “I’m used to it.”
·        You knew he still hated it.
·        “Plus, you’re worth it,” he added, feet shuffling and pink tinging the tips of his ears.
·        Butterflies, oh so many butterflies. Rolling onto your toes, you leaned up and kissed him. After a meager gasp of surprise, he returned it with fervor, nose brushing against yours as he experimented with a few different head angles. Sour Patch kids never tasted so good.
·        The thump of a closing car door was unfortunately audible above the sounds of your smacking mouths – Igawa was on the move and ready to shuffle the prince of teen dramas and his beloved to the safety of the Sumeragi Cadillac CT5. You groaned in unison, and not the good kind.
·        Dragging your mouths apart, your mutual stares shared a silent vow that you would find a way to pick this up again later. Without a word, you both emerged from the shadows, fingers tangled tighter together as you steeled yourselves for a lecture from Igawa on the dangers of lingering in crowded places.
·        You had no doubt there would still be plenty more adjustments to be made by both parties, and many a wall to gently tumble down. But that was a future nearly too resplendent to imagine, when where you were now was already a pretty fantastic place to be.
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