#and I hope it’s painful and slow
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Imagine living a life where you have to take so many fucking Xanax and clonazepam to actually fall asleep and escape the blind rage you feel when you imagine some twink guitarist getting stabbed too many times
#euro posting#Euronymous#i will die mad about this#again#fuck varg#he’s a douche#and a fake ass larp wizard#poser ass bitch#*takes another pill*#I hope he gets fucking cancer and dies slow#and I hope it’s painful and slow#or he just blows his brains out#and yeah it does bother me#because it’s pretty obvious euro was just an edgy kid#and varg was a jealous poser#*punches drywall*#I will strangle him with my bare hands#genuinely think I’d spit on him if I saw him irl tbh
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people who fetishize rape i hate you and i hope your home burns down with you inside but you get out just in time and are in immense amounts of pain so much that you wish you had actually died before eventually getting slowly beat to death just as you recover.
never interact with me or my blog. get help. you're disgusting.
#makes me so mad#i hope you all die an excruciatingly slow and painful death#fuck you#someone kill clixx#jfc
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i've never posted my lisa the hopeful art here(idk why) so have this
true idiot love :)
#my stuff#i was INSANE about them 3 when i had just played it#i still am#but everytime i replay hopeful i get sad at certain points and leave it for later#so im a slow replayer#lisa the painful#lisa the hopeful#beltboy#benny oberwinch#cyclops#clyde von volger#lanks#liam mccoy#do people tag them as their real names i dont know#i think benny's last name is the only one i usually remember#lisa the hopeful polycule
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Kinda gets me when people age them down in AUs and stuff because to me those characters wouldn't be half as interesting if Chilchuck, Senshi and Mithrun were the tallman equivalent of in their twenties
#just something about having a lot of history you know#like. chills is divorced or thereabouts. senshi spent like 30 years living in dungeon wilderness. mithrun knows kabru's mom#none of this would be possible if they were 20-somethings#dungeon meshi spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#somewhat i guess#like. yeah kabru and laios and falin (and marci for an elf) are really young BUT have a lot of life exp#but like. the fact that so much happened to them while they are so young is TRAUMA. its BAD#meanwhile chilchuck had like. a pretty average life for a halffoot his age. maybe even successful from a professional standpoint#senshi didnt have an average life but had the time to accumulate an amount of knowledge no 20something could have#and of course mithruns whole life story is like. slowed down because hes an elf#but even then i think its really important to show that it might take several years to start recuperating from a traumatic event#like its what makes his character such an interesting commentary on disability and depression#when you're 25 bouncing back is easier. when you're 40? 50? showing that theres hope#even when you've lost your whole youth to your pain... thats a whole other thing#sorry i started writing serious commentary in the tags#chills#captain mithrun#senshi#even in senshis character up to a point. he spent more years out of society than in it#and YET! even he manages to find a place. somewhat#like. they are all here to show that life goes on even after horrible or simply sad shit happens to you#they are survivors!!!! thats important
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going from normal sized socks to socks with half the stitches is crazy...i already feel like im zipping along on normal socks so this is like i blink and im at the next step 0.0
#would go a lot faster if i could maybe stop injuring myself getting on and off my bed#not sure what i did to my foot but its stiff and kinda painful and noticably swollen. minor sprain ?#fucked up my knee and then continually my wrist which is whats actually slowing me down. bc like. i start getting into/out of bed#and then when im Almost safely laying/standing i fall the rest of the way#i am hoping its just migraine lack of spactial awareness being worse than usual bc the migraine is worse than usual#but you really never know. maybe if i just fall on doctors until i injure of THEM theyll listen#disability#chronic illness#sock knitting
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...
#i walked into a situation today where my mom was effectively already dead. effectively bc her body was and is still alive. still breathing#painful groaning purrs. but her mind was gone yesterday. my dad said he showed her a picture of the mountains i took that day and told her#i loved her and she smiled. thats what he said. maybe he was just being nice. or maybe thats the last time she thought of me. i dunno. but#the human body is an incredible thing. shes got a heart still powering a broken body. too full of tumors to function anymore. stomach#streched like a pregnant mother. it happed really fast and now its happening very slow#im somehow probably better off than the rest of them. i only got here for the aftermath of a downslide. my daily life will b least effected#i only really saw her twice a year living so far away and she didnt text much. didnt call often. so life wont change much ill just kno shes#not there. which is sad. but theres nothing to b done abt it. life goes on. it hasnt been all bad tho. its nice to talk to my family abt her#how incredible she was. bc she was. wish her mom wasnt here tho. she doesn't deserve to b here. my mom wouldnt want her here. she didnt want#her here. but anyway. i wish her body would just let her go now. so we can sleep. so this can be over. so she can rest#but even like this shes stubborn and resilient. they say it could go on for days but i hope not. may the universe let her rest shes gotta b#so tired after 10 years of this. but i have no regrets. she knew how i felt abt her. and i dont think she had regrets either. she did so#much up to the very end. went out on a high note without the burdon of knowing it was coming#i dunno. its just such a strange experience to watch the empty shell of your mother sleeping like a gurgling baby#unrelated
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Hi im thinking about the deleted saw x scene of amanda talking about her dad. Its making me nauseous ❤️
#amanda young#saw x#i need to hold her...#im in pain ❤️#i hope hes dead i hope he died in a horrible painful slow way
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Starting to think computers are actually the work of a dark and twisted demonic force.
#trying to trouble shoot a pc problem and we've gotten to the point wherein i am considering just ignoring it and hoping it solves itself orz#everything i try just makes things worse!!#i cleared my site data instead of just the temporary files in firefox and now nothing loads so im restarting the damn pc#but its taking. FOREVER. which is always a great sign. if this doesn't fix the page load times (not even the original problem!) im going to#freak out. just completely. because now i have to fix two things tomorrow... i wanna go to bed i don't want to do tech support anymore#im just frustrated and doing things impulsively that are not very helpful. so now i have to sadly sign back into every website on earth#which is very slow and painful because SOMEONE is hogging all my disk#everyone stop hogging all my disk and let firefox load challenge difficulty level impossible#but hey. restarting it did make the pages actually load now. i started this post on my phone and am now editing it on my working pc -w-)b#i am going to have 500 security alerts in my inbox tomorrow lol.#snow blogging
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everything is falling apart last second for my top surgery/spay. again. awesome
#morrisounds#i hope everyone who works in insurance dies a slow painful agonizing death that they can't afford to avoid
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#i wouldnt usually care about stuff like this. but every month or so i get two or three asks like this and i just got one earlier today#and look. i’m not saying u can’t hate ns or dislike them. feel free to send me asks that are like ‘ns you are stupid and you suck and i hate#you’ he IS stupid and he DOES suck and he is quite hateable. that’s fine#it’s just when you start sending me wholeass paragraphs explaining every single detail you hate about ns and how they deserve a slow and#painful death that i think two things: 1. you are finite waves reincarnated 2. you are weird! and strange even!#what are you on about! ns absolutely does NOT deserve a slow and painful death! and you absolutely do Not have to be so hostile and#aggressive towards them as a character! like Please relax. we serve bullshit here sir#most anti-ns asks i get are funny and are light hearted because it’s just people messing with ns on purpose or mocking him and making him#mad because he easily gets mad and it’s funny. Like those asks are fine. it’s another deal entirely when you send me this detailed and—#honestly—really mean message. I guess i am not surprised considering how similar ns and pebbles are in terms of personality#(and circumstances somewhat) and we all know how the fandom treats pebbles. even worse than ns. but yeah anyway#they are not an irredeemable unforgivable monster and they do not deserve to die. Hope this helps#to me even calling them a Bad Person is kind of a stretch. let alone the shit some of you are saying about them#we have to get normal about mentally ill and traumatized and autistic characters gang!#crammerposting#i also do not appreciate when people insuniate that ns is stupid for overworking himself and damaging his structure and so on and so forth#yes it is his fault but that didn’t mean he deserved what he had coming to him or anything like that. be nice to him
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why did glowing mushroom mixins go up to 4.5m, the update literally changed nothing. they last exactly as long, do the same thing, and are crafted with the same materials 😭
#man dont make me craft all that myself just to save a few coins. i crafted one once. it is TEDIOUS that was horrible i hated it#at least i have 2 brewed god pots left but i wanna keep one if i can since they dont exist anymore lol#anyways i am going to bed soon i am tired and sore from work today so i cant stay up as late as i was hoping >:(#20% to fishing 45 SOON SOON GOOD ARMOR SOON !!!#im almost fishing 50... what the hell do i do after that-#FORAGE??? i'll die#back on that extremely slow dungeons grind i guess kjfhkg#ehh i always have lil things to do here and there. but i like leveling skills i miss it :'(#the pain of having nearly maxed skills#you couldnt pay me to start a new profile tho i dont like early game lmao#bingo is on THIN ice#chat#sb
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everything else aside for a moment but what kind of parents name their kid grayson johnson like guys cmon there is zero flow there
#the sunshine court#jean moreau#the everything else is that I hope his death is painful and slow if u were wondering ❤️
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jimmy page fans exist on a spectrum of "man that dude was so cool he's the best guitarist to have ever lived" to "sure he did lock that teenage harlot he was molesting in a hotel room but he literally left her food and water <3 they were literally in love <3"
#and of course “i hope he dies a slow painful death and if he goes now it will be too late. but ill be damned if he didnt shred that guitar”#lz
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⚠️⚠️⚠️TSC SPOILER IM NOT KIDDING⚠️⚠️⚠️
I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING KNOWN SOMETHING WAS WRONG WHEN LUCAS GOT JEAN OUTSIDE WITHOUT JEREMY. OMFG IN SO GLAD I SAW A SPOILER THAT SAID NEIL GETS TAHT BASTARD KILLED OMFG EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW NORA IM CRYING
#aftg#all for the game#nora sakavic#the sunshine court#aftg thoughts#jean moreau#lucas johnson#Grayson Johnson#I’m crying#I hope that mf dies a slow painful death#I’m sure Neil will make sure of it
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the amount of times i keep looking for niche shit by typing "[topic] reddit" so i can get it from actual humans during the reddit blackout protesting is endless
#rambles#my memory is actually so short term#anyways reddit is legit where i get most of my artist advice#not like the drawing shit#like the other stuff outside of it??#commission and job stuff yknow idfk#YouTube is nice and all but watching a video is sometimes a pain#and i just wanna read something and get it over with#also their recommendations on media are fucking fire#its not some repulsive shit like tiktok#recommendations on twitter or tumblr is slow word of mouth#i have to hope to find something good via algorithm on Twitter or reblogs on tumblr#and that rarely fucking happens
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sometimes it really is just like. is this all there is. feeling oversensitive & undersocialized—too sensitive to socialize—forever, bc you never got enough ~affirmation~ growing up (poor, pathetic baby; how long will you persist in singing the same self-pitying song…), & so never developed the proper emotional cushioning against the heartache & the thousand natural shocks, &c, &c, &c, &c, &c…
#like—you can't get close to people if you're too raw to bear the inevitable grit of misunderstandings and small incompatibilities#we all fail one another. sometimes in a myriad of small ways‚ sometimes in big ones—#sometimes you and people you care about are simultaneously failing each other on separate but parallel tracks#and ultimately you have to be able to bear that and keep reaching out to people anyway‚ as you hope they will to you#and i just. i need so badly for something—someone—to be new and good and an easy fit‚ because i haven't got trying in me#but also frankly i wouldn't trust anything like that if it appeared to me‚ at this point#molly grue voice how dare you come to me now &c#i'm a fussy person whose capacity for delight has drained away#and i think it's SO important to be kind and yet still so often i don't manage it#despite biting my tongue SO often that it hurts‚ which has taught me to feel there's nothing acceptable abt my own reactions#and i never MEAN to be pompous or dickish or whatever but caring about precision and conscientiousness and whatnot isn't in fashion#so i'm pretty sure that's how i come off to most people#and there's no prospect of anything changing and it's just like. sometimes in the night i think. well. i'm basically already dead then.#like. the last‚ i don't know‚ almost-decade at this point has been a slow painful process of sinking ever deeper into exile#stripping away various social positionalities and connections in trade for—nothing.#alien nation.#all the norms are shit but outside them—what is there.#anyway.#feelingsblogging
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