#and I've been having higher pain these last few days which is currently even worse

[unkindnessoffriendlyravens]

Well today has been a total nightmare!

Please disregard the rest of this if you don't want to hear me bitch

[buddha-in-disguise]

I've been around fandoms for several decades now. Both before the internet, through the earliest days of internet fandom, to the present day.

I can genuinely say, the way Supergirl treats its fans, especially the LGBTQ or BIPOC fans as a whole, has been the worst by some margin. Particularly in regards Supercorp in terms of queerbaiting.

Whether those involved in the production of Supergirl want to admit it or not, Supergirl as it stands has been queerbaiting a large portion of the audience. Without a doubt, in terms of a ship, the largest core group of fans there is for Supercorp, and by some margin.

Have there been some fans who have taken things too far? Absolutely. And every good SC fan I know recognise and understand this, and constantly say this.

Yet somehow, an entire fandom gets tarred with the same brush continually.

But worse still, when anyone tries to address the queerbaiting that has gone on with someone who works on the show, other than the women in general, Jon Cryer (who could teach those BTS of SG a lot on how to engage with fans on SM, and not piss off swathes of fans), and Jesse, there are few instances I can think of where it then hasn't resulted in SC fans getting dumped on, or called delusional, or basically saying it isn't there.

Here's the thing.

As LGBTQ fans, the majority of us - especially the older ones like myself - know exactly what queerbaiting is. How do you think it even became recognised as a problem?

Because we called media out on it. The LGBTQ audiences defined it, via our experiences. So we know exactly what queerbaiting is thank you. We don't need to be told it isn't there or isn't something going on - because we are the ones who wrote up the damn definition!

In all my years of fandoms, never have I seen queerbaiting on the scale Supergirl use. Season 5 - especially 5a - brought the queerbaiting to a whole new level.

So many of us now dread S6, because S5 was so bad in a multitude of ways for the LGBTQ audience, including but not exclusively Supercorp queerbaiting.

And I don't speak for all SC fans, but I do see a lot like me are caught in a conundrum. We all love the majority of the cast. Particularly the women. Sure we all have favourites, but also as a whole, the female cast is loved and respected.

Here's my dilemma. I want to support the female cast. Hell I was a Chyler, Katie and Azie fan long before Supergirl, and have grown to love Melissa, Andrea and Nicole particularly. Nicole as a transgender women especially holds a place dear to us. I will support them all beyond Supergirl.

As S6 will begin filming, I want nothing more than to show them I love, support and care for them. But then I'm at the point where I want to just tell the show to go jump, because they've sucked all the enjoyment I had out of it for me. When you actually dread what the next week might bring, that is not what any show should be about. Yet here I find myself dreading what the show might bring.

I also am questioning do The CW even care about Supergirl any more, especially as they finally got Superman, which they've coveted for years, and made no secret of it.

They seem to forget that Supergirl and Superman have two pretty distinct fans. I like Superman, but I love Supergirl. I'm also just a little bit done with all the iterations of Superman we've had on screen.

Supergirl has always struggled on the social media side of fan engagement as well. Not once have I seen a showrunner actively engage with the audience. Or at least, if they have it was a long time ago. The current showrunners definitely haven't. Hell, one doesn't even have a SM account.

But even if a showrunner or others involved in the show don't engage, when others do, it becomes a nightmare. The last 6 or 7 hours are a case in point.

Again, yes some fans take it too far where Supercorp is involved. Yet, once again, rather than just stepping away, a writer got embroiled into something that didn't need to happen, because they gave out conflicting tweets on replies to fans over Supercorp, and then began blocking fans who were polite and respectful and did absolutely nothing to warrant a block.

Then they also liked a post that called SC fans dicks.

Yet somehow again, we are all the bad guys.

I've no doubt that they felt overwhelmed on how the reactions went. I truly do. But I really don't understand why anyone doesn't just step back. Put out a polite post saying it's all getting a bit too much, and they need to disengage. I think each and every decent fan would understand and respect that. I know I would.

But here's the thing.

Ultimately the writer shouldn't be in that position of trying to answer fans on it all. Nor should they dismiss fans who say it is queerbaiting, if they're not LGBTQ themselves.

The problem is Supergirl social media is so lacking, it places a higher burden on writers and others instead. That is on the show. Entirely.

I also have to question just how diverse is the writers room? Having a number of women, if they are White and cis, when you have a cast of characters who are LGBTQ and/or Black or POC, is not having a good diverse writers room. And it shows.

If you say there is no queerbaiting, but not LGBTQ, you need to stop trying to redefine what is accepted queerbaiting.

If someone says it is a gay agenda, you need to stop with that, because that is homophobic. End of. That's no different that being racist if you write it is a Black agenda.

Supergirl put themselves in this position.

I've had family watch Supergirl with no preconceptions on characters suddenly say: I see something between Kara and Lena. Are they together? And being astounded when not only do they realise they're not together, that they actually have 4 seasons of this and counting.

This has come from straight family. Or my very gay, very into men brother in law.

If others see it who aren't involved as Supercorp fans, who might even be straight - that is queerbaiting.

But here's the thing. It shouldn't need us to say others see it too. If a large segment of audience see it, say it is there, pull out receipts to show why they are saying that time and again, that should be enough.

Yet it isn't.

As much as it pains me - I sense now The CW has Superman, they're going to let Supergirl go by end of S6. I'd be more surprised if they announce a 7th season than not.

Whatever decisions on the shows future they might be making, one thing is clear.

If they don't allow Supercorp to develop, and don't get rid of whatever homophobic block is going on for the show, Supergirl will be left with a legacy of being probably the worst example on queerbaiting your audience ever.

The 100 are still panned to this day over Clexa by LGBTQ fans.

Supergirl still have a chance, a choice to pull it around.

Sadly I doubt that will happen.

In the meantime, I'm stuck on wanting to stop watching the show, but wanting desperately to support the cast. That's the conundrum many of us now face.

The legacy Supergirl will leave is not going to be about empowering women if they don't change significantly for S6.

It will be how they queerbaited, how they dismissed the only full cast Black woman, worse still, who played an LGBTQ role. How they dismissed the LGBTQ as a whole.

Those are legacies that will not die away for LGBTQ fans. The CW in general has tainted itself with the LGBTQ audience in more than one show.

What a mess.

And it really wouldn't take much to avoid all of this. That's what is so disappointing. It is an easy fix.

Apologies for any typos/mistakes as I'm posting unedited.

[absideon-ephemeral]

II - Roommates, Commanders, and Generals.

A/N: And they were roommates - I'm sorry. The next chapter will be a lot more interesting as we finally get into the plot. And just as a heads up, THERE WILL BE NO SMUT AT ALL. Idk how to write it and I don't want to make a complete fool of myself if I do so. If I ever learn I may add some.

Warnings: mild language, curse words.

METANOIA Masterlist

——————————

Who knew a ship could be so damn big.

     I had walked and walked, following the map on my datapad to my quarters, which seemed to be on the other side of the ship. It was nearly midnight and I still hadn't reached it.

     During the entire walk, I couldn't get the strange encounter with Kylo Ren out of my head. Why had he just stared at me? What was that prickling sensation? My mind was going so fast, asking so many questions, that I almost ran into a wall. I had stopped myself just short a couple of inches from slamming right into it. I stood there, recollecting myself, as a quiet, minuscule beeping came from my datapad.

     Looking down, the beeping was signifying that I had reached my destination. In front of me were my quarters and not some random wall.

"For kriffs sake, finally," I muttered.

     I shut off my pad and went to reach for the control panel next to me, but I stopped myself from hitting the door button. Are my roommates already inside? What if they're already asleep? I don't want to get on their bad side, who knows how long I'll be rooming with them.

"Hey!"

     My head whips to the side to be met with a stormtrooper.

"What are you doing here?" They asked. From the sounds of it, the stormtrooper was female.

"I asked you a question."

"I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be rooming here." My words flew out fast and uneasy.

"Whose orders?" The stormtrooper asked.

"Head technician Ademir. He said that there were no available rooms in the technicians' quarters and that this was the first available spot," I explained.

     The stormtrooper made a noise of understanding and hit the door button on the panel. It slid open with a slight whoosh and was pitch black inside. The stormtrooper went in, turning the lights on in the process. I stood there, awkwardly, almost waiting for an invitation.

"Well, are you just going to stand there, or are you going to come in?" The stormtrooper said.

"Uh, yeah right." I hurriedly walked in, the door closing behind me.

     The room was semi spacious. It had two dressers, three beds, each with its small nightstand; a refresher, and a window that outlooked the galaxy.

I made my way further in and sat on the bed that looked unoccupied. I sat rather stiffly as the stormtrooper began to take off her armor.

     Her helmet came off first, revealing dark skin, that almost seemed to have a honey glow to it, brown eyes, and a pretty face.

"So what's your name little technician?" She asked. Without the helmet on, I could hear an accent that was unfamiliar to me. I gave her my name and asked for hers.

"LN-7245." She answered as she continued to undress.

"LN-72- okay, that's a lot to call you by. Do you have a nickname or something I can use?" I asked.

She momentarily stopped her movements. "No. All we ever go by is our numbers." She then resumed, sitting down on the bed to take off her shin armor.

"Well, what about," I pondered for a second, "Leonora or Leo for short." She looked up at me.

"Leonora," she tested the name on her tongue, "I like it. Sounds nice. Where'd you come up with that?"

" Your number started with LN. I just took it from there and made something out of it that sounded pretty."

"Well, thank you for that." Leonora stood up, grabbed a case from under her bed, and began to pack away her armor for tomorrow.

When she finished, she grabbed some clothes, presumably sleep ones, out of the drawer on her nightstand. Before walking away to the refresher to change, she turned to the bed farthest away from me and smacked the person, who I honestly didn't even see, that was lying in it. They awoke with a start, cursing in Durese, a language known by space travelers.

"Why would you do that? I was sleeping so nicely!" They groaned. It was another female. This one had blond hair with brown streaks, blue eyes, and a pretty face as well.

"We have a new roommate. Be nice." Leonora smacked her again with her clothes and went to the refresher to change.

The girl grumbled something then turned to me, leaning back on her elbows, her head cocked to the side.

"So, what's your name?" She asked. I gave it to her. She peered at me curiously.

"You don't look like a stormtrooper." She pointed out.

I laughed. "What gave that away?"

She looked me up and down, "You don't have the body of a stormtrooper. And the way you seem to carry yourself, I'd assume you're a technician."

"Right you are." She laughed.

"I'm ZA-7283."

"Nice to meet you. Can I give you a nickname?" I asked.

"Nickname?" She asked. Leonora walked out of the refresher, dressed in comfy, all-black, nightclothes.

"She gave me one," Leo laid down on her cot, putting hands behind her head, "I'm Leonora, Leo for short." She had an air of pride around her.

The other girl gasped. "That sounds so cool! I want one too!"

"Okay, um, how about Zariah?" I suggested.

"Ooo, I like that. Makes me sound badass!" Zariah exclaimed. Leo and I laughed at her enthusiasm.

After we all calmed down, Zariah asked me a question.

"So why did they put a technician with two stormtroopers?"

I told her the same thing I told Leo.

"Ahhh okay. Well, at least you got two roommates who aren't sticks in the mud. That would've sucked." Zariah laid back down. I nodded in agreement.

—————————

"Shit, shit, shit, shit."

     I hoped to maker that there were no higher-up officials around, because if so, I would've most likely faced punishment. I was currently running through the halls like a mad man with my jumpsuit half on and struggling to carry my small tool bag.

     I had completely forgotten to set an alarm last night, causing me to wake up 20 minutes late, which is by no means acceptable. Leo and Zari left way before me, as troopers have to get up earlier than the techs, and they didn't even bother to wake me up.

So now I had to resort to dashing my way through the metal halls, weaving in and out of other technicians and stormtroopers. As I slid around a corner, I suddenly ran straight into something. The force I hit it with was enough to send me sprawling backward onto the cold metal floor. I groaned in slight pain and made an effort to sit up. Regaining my bearings, my sight is immediately met with black boots.

My blood ran cold.

Trailing my eyes up, all I see is black. Black pants, a black shirt, a black cloak, and a black helmet.

The prickling sensation returns. This time it's sifting through my mind, weaving in and out of the crevices.

Kylo Ren.

I scramble to my feet as quickly as possible and bring my arm into a salute. Once again, the black soulless eyes of his mask stare into the very depths of me.

"Please forgive me, Commander, sir!" The wavering words flew out. He said nothing, and I feared that he would whip out his lightsaber and end me right then and there. But he simply stared for a few more moments then briskly walked away, the prickling fading with him.

I watched as he left, not dropping my salute until he disappeared completely and I could no longer hear his boots on the metal floor.

When I had deemed it safe, I dropped my arm and breathed a sigh of relief. Gathering myself together, zipping up my uniform properly, and grabbing my bag, I made my way to my task for the day.

I was assigned to fix some damage in a meeting room, presumably caused by Kylo Ren during a meeting that had gone sour.

But when I walked through the doors metal blast doors, I couldn't help but curse.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

In front of me was one of the biggest messes I have ever seen. The poor innocent wallhad been slashed many times by a burning saber, leaving deep jagged lines. They crossed and weaved in and out of one another, forming some type of chaotic artwork. No matter the strange beauty, this was going to be a pain to fix.

Setting my bag down, I went closer to inspect the damage. The wiring underneath it had been damaged severely. Some areas are worse than others, but half of the underneath panels would need to be replaced.

Looking away from the wall, I took notice of a larger bag of tools and a welding cart set off of the side; free for me to use. I walk over to the bag, open it, and grab my first piece.

——————

Four hours and counting. That's how long I've been fixing this mess. And I haven't even gotten to re-welding the slashes yet.

For the last hour, I've been working in a tight space. Literally.

To fix some of the wires in one of the deeper slashes, I had to go inside the wall. It required me to remove the vent cover, which resided right below the slash near the floor, and crawl inside; upside down. It took me several tries and having to unzip my jumpsuit halfway, revealing my black under tank, and tie the sleeves around my waist to finally weasel in. My back was flat against the air vent as I worked and I could hardly hear anything. Honestly, it was a miracle I even fit. After removing the air duct lining, I was able to finally access the wires.

Which leads me up to now. I was in the process of attaching one of my last wires, peacefully working and oblivious to the outside world, when something unexpectedly nudged my foot.

The sensation made me jolt up, my head slamming into the roof of the duct.

"Kriff!" The word escaped as pain now radiated through my head. My foot was nudged again. "One moment please!" I shouted. I began to weasel my way back out, having slight difficulty due to not being able to see much.

Once I finally got my head and arms out, I sat on the ground, blinking my eyes to adjust to the harsh lighting, having been in a dark vent for the last hour.

"Did you hear me?"

My head whipped up, and I was met with someone you hoped to never meet; the infamous, General Hux.

I stood immediately, getting a slight head rush from the fast movement, and saluted. "General Hux, sir." I addressed him.

He looked at me with distaste; not pleased to see me without my uniform on properly. But there was no going back now. He looked me up and down, a frown forming on his face. He was just like I've heard him to be. Short, red-haired, and a not-so-pleasing face that was always screwed up in a face of displeasure.

He huffed and spoke again. "Did you hear me at all?" His voice was snobby and pitched.

"No sir, I couldn't hear anything in there." I curtly replied, taking notice of the men behind him. Other Generals and officers, I had never seen, but by the way they presented themselves, they were important.

"Well, I had asked what you are doing in here. This is a restricted area to those without permission." He sneered, obviously not liking me.

"I was tasked to fix this damage, sir. Some of the wirings needed to be replaced but I could only access it through the vent, sir." I remained still, keeping my salute.

"On whose orders?"

"Head technician Ademir, sir. I have the assignment on my data-pad if you wish to see, sir."

"That won't be necessary. Do you have any other tasks to do?" He was growing frustrated at my presence.

"No sir, I don't. This is my only one due to how much work it requires." I answered. He huffed and opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the blast doors opening, and someone walking in. My view was blocked by the other men, but General Hux rolled his eyes, already knowing who had entered.

"Ah, Commander, how pleasant of you to join us."

[kunt-dracula]

If I Were In ‘Vikings’ Headcanon~ Part 1??🤔

║Okay so I’m not as caught up on Vikings as I used to be. I might watch every few episodes and that’s if I watch it at all. Some of it’s because school is back in session and I’m at school 3 times a week from 8am to 8pm because I also work on my campus. The other reason is because my sister is getting her home renovated and so her and her 4 kids (whom are all under the age of 7) are living with me so my tvs are playing cartoons 24/7.

What I’m getting at is, if it’s inaccurate or seems highly unlikely due to events or character personality, I don’t know😂😂 but I wanted to try it so I am.║

Also

There will be quite a few changes to the storyline of the show. To simply put it, my baby Ragnar ain't dead and him and his kids get along just fine.🤣

➖

(Cartoon-ishly edited just for the occasion🤣👍🏾)

𝒦𝒾𝓎𝒶𝓉 (ky-yaht)

/I didn’t feel that my own name (Raine) would make a suitable ancient Egyptian name/

(My Attire during my teen years in Egypt)

���️Daughter of Pharoah Wahkare Khety III and Hetepheres.

⚜️ I didn’t have much a relationship with my mother due to the fact that she died merely a few years after my birth.

⚜️My father did what he could, but he wouldn’t stay around me much due to how much my physical likeness to my mother pained him.

⚜️I ended up spending more time with a caretaker that was assigned to me.

⚜️Around the time I was 12, he had wed another; a priestess named Ioja.

⚜️Soon after her crowning, it became sure to me what her true intentions were. Getting my father to be devoted to her and only her.

⚜️It started with her cutting into our conversations, arranging outings without telling me and making sure I had no knowledge of them at all.

⚜️When that ceased to work, she began spewing lies to my father about my ‘promiscuous’ behavior with male servants and even a few peasants.

⚜️Although I deny the allegations, it's clear to me that he's taking her side over my own.

⚜️After years of nonstop arguing between me and his wife, my father's breaking point was reached when he came upon a set of highly venomous snakes tangled within his bead sheets when he awoke one morning.

⚜️To make matters worse, each snake had a bracelet of mine he had gifted me around its body.

⚜️I was undoubtedly framed by Ioja who then tried to convince my father that I should be executed—in turn, I pointed the finger at her and made the same suggestion.

⚜️Frustrated and unsure, he had us fight one another and the defeated’s fate will be sealed.

⚜️Unfortunately, the odds were not in my favor and I was overpowered.

⚜️Not having the will not heart to slaughter me, he went against his own word and had me exiled—which didn't seem to effect Ioja at all since she had gotten what she wanted still, me out of the hierarchy.

⚜️Seemingly filled with guilt my father offered me an abundance of gifts before my departure.

⚜️I kept my clothing and jewelry and was given more, a fairly large amount of money. And him being disturbed with the idea of me being alone—the female servant that I was closest to was sent to travel with me wherever I settled.

⚜️Opwet—my older companion— had gotten me out of my funk, telling me that she was a firm believer in the concept that everything happens for a reason. [I picture her as a slightly younger Cicely Tyson😄]

⚜️Not sure of where to go, Opwet made the statement that she had not been to her birth village in decades.

⚜️My curiosity and ache for a change of scenery was all the push I needed for us to migrate to Kairouan.

⚜️Once we were settled in a home for the both of us, I had asked Opwet about her history. That was when she informed me that in her younger years she was the best healer in Egypt which led to her working for my family and then she was converted by my selfish father to be a caretaker for my mother during her pregnancy and then me.

⚜️I almost instantly asked her to teach me how to be a healer. It was always something I had wanted to do but was denied because of the written fate that my title held. But now that I was no longer royalty, what was to stop me from fulfilling my desires.

⚜️It wasn't easy. Far from it actually. There were a lot of specific procedures, rituals, and concoctions that went along with the role. It wasn't until I turned 21 that I finally got it down.

⚜️By the age of 26, I was a very well known healer throughout the city. The entrance to my home quickly became a revolving door to patients.

⚜️While caring for a pregnant woman who had been weak from it, Opwet was left with the woman while I went out to a fruit stand to purchase more mangoes. [The all natural prenatal vitamin.]

⚜️While at the stand my love for pineapples hit me and I began piling them in my arm.

⚜️One rolled off my arms and tubbles to the ground.

⚜️Contemplating just how I was going to pick it up with my arms full, someone beat me to it.

⚜️Of course, the first thing I noticed was the large pale hand holding the pineapple outstretched towards me.

⚜️The owner was a tall man. Very attractive. A great deal older than me, judging by the white strands of hair peppered his beard. Lips stretched in a crooked smile showcasing teeth that matched his skin, but what really hooked my attention were his almost glowing blue eyes.

⚜️He was someone I had never seen before but judging by his appearance he was no doubt one of the Vikings that word had circulated about through the city.

⚜️ ”Þakka þér fyrir, Viking.” {Thank you, Viking.} I say, shocking him. His shocked expression pulled a smile from me.

⚜️ ”Þú talar tungumál þjóðar minnar?” {You speak the language of my people?}

⚜️ ”aðeins nóg til að halda einfalt samtal. Þú ert ekki sá fyrsti sem ég hef haft ánægju af að hitta.” { Only enough to hold a simple conversation. You're not the first Norseman I've had the pleasure of meeting.}

⚜️I lose my focus on what I'm doing for what had to have been at least 15 minutes. It's not until the frustrated stand owner asks if I was going to pay or not, that I snap back.

⚜️Before parting ways I tell him my name and he tells me his. Ragnar Lothbrok.

⚜️That would not be the last I’d see of Ragnar Lothbrok.

⚜️He showed up at my home to talk but Opwet wasn't having it and told him that he couldn'come in unless he needed medical attention.

⚜️Not even a day later he returned to my home with injuries he had gotten during ’sparing’ but in all honesty, they looked self-inflicted.

⚜️Not a day passed that I was rubbing him down with shea butter to heal his scars. So much that I had to start using my own personal batch that I used daily. I wasn't happy about it.

⚜️Constantly having to fight with my inner ’thot’ and thoughts while doing so.

⚜️He was fascinated and distracted by 3 things: my hair, my skin and mostly my derriere.😒

⚜️Had the nerve to ask if I was I had stolen goods hidden under my dress. 🍑

⚜️”Did you just touch my rear?”

⚜️”Sorry I thought it was—what’s the name of that large fruit? ...Watermelon yes. I simply thought it was a watermelon, especially in that green dress.”

⚜️Opwet: *eating a peach in the corner*

⚜️When it got dark, he would attempt to stay the night. Again Opwet didn't play that and she would make him leave.😆

⚜️In all, he was impressed with my skills and stated that they could really use someone like me in Kattegat and asked if I would consider going back with him. Shocked, I told him I would think about it.

⚜️It was then that he told me about himself. He was in his 50s but obviously very fit for his age being that I thought he was much younger. His son was the current king of Kattegat. A role he had given up once he got older, though he still had authority over the village.

⚜️When it was his last day in Kairouan, I couldn't help but ponder over my dilemma. Opwet only persuaded me to go. She restated her believe that everything happened for a reason and that I was being offered an opportunity that I should take.

⚜️ I did want to go but I didn't want to leave her. She wanted to stay and help the people of Kairouan and kept persuading me to leave for Kattegat to do the same for their people.

⚜️She was nearly relentless and finally got me to leave with Lothbrok. To a new world and a new beginning.

[Near the end I got lazy. I was tired, sorry. 😆

I'm not sure if this is even good or not. I was higher than the clouds when I wrote it.🚬

I'm kinda tempted to do a part 2 on when I'm actually in Kattegat but that all will depend on how y’all react to this.]