#and Martha did a bit I guess but the show treated her like shit so it doesn’t count

[lonelywoodlouse]

I did not like the angels take Manhattan. I hated it in fact. Why does literally no one get a happy ending. Ever.

[let-it-raines]

I Hope We Never See October (2/?)

When his personal life and football career go up in flames, Killian Jones escapes England for America, finding seclusion in Martha’s Vineyard in order to hide from his demons. It’s a fresh start, or at the very least a paused moment in his life, and all he needs is a few months alone to allow his heart to heal. He doesn’t count on meeting Emma Swan.

Emma’s life depends on tourists who come to the island every summer. It’s how she makes her money working in restaurants and clubs across the vineyard, but every year, she cannot wait until autumn comes and her life returns to normal. She especially cannot wait for Killian Jones to leave.

Rating: Mature

a/n: Thank you guys for reading the first part of this! I cannot say enough how much I appreciate all of you and how glad I am little things like this bring you guys joy! Thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke for reading over these words. ❤️

AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: One | Two 

-/-

“Emma, the couple at table two wants to talk to you, and the woman at table seven has a complaint about the quiche. Something about there being eggs in them.”

Emma groans and closes her laptop to look at Ashley, one of the new waitresses she hired this summer. She’s good, courteous, and she’s always here on time. Emma is going to hate to lose her for a few weeks when she has her baby, but come hell or high water, the girl is getting maternity leave even if Emma can’t manage more than three weeks without the owner getting involved and likely trying to fire all of them. She deserves months more than that, but Emma can’t change the system.

It’s a shit system, especially for moms.

“They don’t want eggs…in their quiche? Are you serious?”

“She’s vegan and claims she’s been misled.”

Emma rolls her eyes and stands from her chair. She pulls her jean shorts down, the frayed edges covering just a little more thigh, and unties the bottom of her button-down. She probably needs to start dressing up more for this job, but she can’t be bothered. She managed to wear her Blue Dog Tavern polo last week, so that seems like enough effort. “We have symbols on the menu to indicate dietary restrictions, but this isn’t really a restaurant for dietary restrictions beyond one or two items. I’ll deal with it. Thanks, Ashley.”

It’s Sunday morning, which is their second busiest time after Friday and Saturday nights, and the Blue Dog is packed. It’s all hands on deck this morning, but Emma was hoping to get some scheduling and produce ordering done in her office during it. But this is a restaurant, so of course there’s never any time for a breather when she needs it the most. She’ll finish all that later, she guesses, because she has a feeling neither of these conversations are going to be a short one.

And she’s right about that. The woman hating on the quiche pitches a fit and demands her money back before threatening to sue the place and, quite frankly, threatening to cut off Emma’s legs, and Emma has to resolve that without losing her cool when all she wants to do is punch jerks like that straight across the jaw. Then the couple at table two asks her to run through every item on the menu and whether or not everything is organically sourced.

They serve fried mac and cheese balls at ten in the morning and have kitschy, slightly tacky artwork nailed onto the darkly stained wood. If you eat outside on the patio, you get a nice view of people taking off a little more than they should while sunbathing on the surrounding beaches and docked boats. There’s also the occasional ferry that drives by and blows a loud horn that tourists seem to get a kick out of. Do they really think everything is organically sourced?

God, sometimes she really hates tourists.

This is a nice place, though. It’s not somewhere you go for fine dining, but their brunch is divine, it’s got a good atmosphere, and the new bartenders she’s hired this summer make better drinks than you can get at any reasonably priced bar in a ten-mile radius. She likes this little part of the island, and even though she hates tourists, they do fund her entire life. So maybe she hates them a little less than usual when the paychecks roll in.

Today is not a day where the paycheck is rolling in.

Emma notices some of the tables are a little slow, so she picks up the slack, getting drinks and refills and checking on meals. It keeps her on her feet for most of the morning and through the lunch rush, but when it’s over, she collapses on a stool at the end of the bar.

“Chip, can you get me a coffee?” she asks without looking up. “I don’t care what milk or creamer you put in it as long as you don’t bring it to me black. Though, I think I need the caffeine so badly that I’d drink it. I don’t know why I agreed to work the late dinner shift at The Oaks last night. I’m exhausted.”

When she doesn’t get a response, she looks up for Chip. He’s nowhere to be seen, and when she checks her phone schedule, she realizes it’s his break time. Of course it is.

“Lass, I don’t believe the barkeep is here anymore.”

“Yeah, it’s his break, but I can help you. What’s your poison?”

“The coffee you’re having.”

Emma nods and turns to look at the man talking to her, and if she wasn’t so tired, she would have recognized the voice a hell of a lot faster than she did. A lot of different accents pass through this place, but he’s the first British one in awhile. Also the first one to show up in her backyard. Or the Fishers’ backyard, technically, but she’s been renting it for long enough for it to feel like her own even if she’s changed very little of the furniture and decorations outside her bedroom.

Killian. She thinks that was his name. Honestly, she’s surprised she remembers anything because she was in such a rush to get to work that she didn’t have time to deal with all the people at her house. But he was unexpected and attractive – she’s not blind to attractive men no matter what Ruby and Mary Margaret think – and he threw her off for a minute. He looked familiar, but she has no idea why. There’s no way she would have met him before.

But she also doesn’t care. She’s got a gut feeling that she needs to watch out for him, that there’s something that’s not right, and him being at her job is proving that to her. What are the odds that he’d wander in a few days after meeting her when she’s pretty sure he’s never been here before?

Then again, maybe that’s why he’s familiar. It’s June. A lot of people come through here, and she’s not going to remember all their faces. Sometimes she does, though, in the back of her mind where vague, slightly blurry memories reside.

“Sure thing,” Emma sighs, standing from the stool. “Do you have a server?”

“Aye. Heather, I believe, but…”

“But she’s on her phone.” Emma shakes her head. “My boss’s niece. Not much I can do about it, but I’ll get you your coffee, a water, and take your order right away.”

He nods, going back to his own phone, and Emma takes that as her cue to get behind the bar and start making some coffee. She doesn’t usually work this machine, so it takes her a minute to get it right all while she feels Killian staring at her.

“Do you need any suggestions on the menu?” Emma asks as the coffee percolates.

“How are the salads?”

“I prefer things with more calories, but they’re good. Our vegetables are fresh, and I personally enjoy the strawberry poppyseed with chicken, but I know not everyone loves fruit in salads.” He hums behind her as his mug fills, and she grabs some milk from the fridge under the sink, turning to show him. “Milk okay?”

“It’s perfect, Swan.” She raises her brows, which he mirrors, until he cocks his head forward and his lips form an obnoxious little smirk. “On the nametag, love.”

“Now, what did I say about being your love?”

“That you’re not.”

“Exactly.” She finishes making his coffee and hands it over. He’s a customer, she reminds herself. She’s got to try to be a little bit nicer than she wants to be. “So, the salad? If you’re looking more toward the healthy options with protein, the grilled chicken breast on its own is fantastic. You get two sides, which you can find at the bottom of the menu.”

He nods and looks at the menu for half a second before looking up. “The salad would be great. Thank you.”

He picks up his mug, pointing it toward her, and Emma takes it as a dismissal so she can put his order in, and hopefully she can get Heather to do her damn job and serve him for the rest of the meal. She doesn’t like that he knows where she lives and works, and even though she doesn’t think Ariel and Eric spend time with shady people, something about him gives her weird vibes.

His face just looks so damn familiar, and usually she’s really good remembering faces. Huh.

And Emma is usually right about these things. He’s likely nothing more than a rich man looking for a break from life by renting out a large house on the island. He’ll spend a week or two, maybe a month depending on his work situation, here, sleep with as many women as he can, and then he’ll go, never thinking of Martha’s Vineyard again. And she’s pretty sure Ariel does something having to do with high-powered people over in London, so he fits the profile. God, she must have seen him before with Ariel or something. That has to be it.

But for now, he’s a customer, and since Heather seems to be completely checked out, Emma guesses she’s going to have to deal with him. After this morning, he won’t be the worst person she has to deal with all day, and since she’s working at The Oaks tonight, she imagines being treated like shit then will outshine all of this.

Why the hell did she decide to pick up so many shifts at The Oaks? It’s a stuffy country club where tips reflecting the price of the meal aren’t even guaranteed, but it’s extra money with a flexible schedule. She’s doing okay on the money front right now, though, and if she were sane, she’d take some time off and relax, maybe enjoy the beach or any of the hundreds of good restaurants around here.

She is obviously not sane.

-/-

“Oh my God,” Emma grumbles as she strips out of her jean shorts, kicking them to the ground before unbuttoning her shirt. “I’m so tired of people.”

“I’m people,” Ruby says. “Nice bra, by the way. The girls look great.”

Emma rolls her eyes, but she does glance down at her boobs and hike them up a bit. They do look great today. “Shut up.” Emma picks up the black dress she has to wear at the country club and slips it over her shoulders. “You know I’m not tired of you.”

“That’s because you’ve barely seen me.”

“Busy. I’m busy. I work way too much. Speaking of that, why the hell aren’t you at work?”

Ruby stands from her couch and grabs her name tag from the end table. “I’m in between shifts. Granny’s in charge downstairs. I have a five-second commute to work, unlike you. Why are you changing here again?”

“Don’t want to run into any of the people at my house.” Emma smooths her dress and turns to Ruby’s mirror to reapply lipstick and put on some mascara. She’s got to wash her hair tomorrow. It’s hanging by on a thread today, if that thread is a little greasy and has a hell of a lot of dry shampoo in it. “But don’t worry, tomorrow, I will be out of your hair as they will soon be out of mine.”

“You know I’m always fine with you being in my business. Mary Margaret and David are coming here for dinner tonight. Any chance you can slip away?”

Emma finishes another coat of mascara. “Can’t. Working until past closing and then heading straight home to sleep in my house of strangers.”

Ruby laughs, carefree as always, and for a moment, the jealousy stings. Ruby has plenty of her own shit going on, but she always handles it with such ease. She’s the most carefree person Emma has ever met, and Emma can’t imagine living like that without way too much alcohol in her system.

“I told you that you could stay with me this week. Have I ever said it’s batshit crazy that they come to visit and are okay with you still staying there? Because that is batshit crazy.”

Emma shrugs and pulls back to take in her appearance. This is as good as it’s going to get. She doesn’t think she’ll be using her looks to get her any tips tonight, which is a crying shame since that’s half the reason she took this job in the first place. She knows exactly how to charm some of the older men into giving her more money by flirting a little, and she’s not ashamed that she has to give away her dignity to do it. She had to hire a dinner-shift manager at the Blue Dog because she was doing the work of two people with the pay of one. Now she’s doing the work of five people with the pay and of one and half people, so obviously she’s winning at life.

“I’m never there, and they seem like good people. I think they’re just glad I actually maintain the place and am slowly but surely getting through some of the renovations.” Emma looks at her hair again and ties it up in a ponytail with the elastic from her wrist. “Any way you can make me a grilled cheese to go?”

“Only if you agree to go to a bar with all of us sometime in the next month.”

“Yeah, fine. Whatever you want.”

God, she hopes Ruby doesn’t remember this conversation. The last thing she wants to do right now is go out with her friends and then end up sitting alone as they all make out with their partners and leave without telling Emma goodbye.

Actually, the last thing she wants to do is go to work again today, but here she goes.

-/-

Emma quietly turns the key in her front door. She saw that the kitchen light was still on from the street, and while the Fishers likely just forgot to turn it off, she doesn’t want to run the risk of seeing them tonight. It’s their last night here, so she only has to make it through one or two more awkward conversations before she has the house to herself. It’ll be just her and the creaky floors. She can collapse on the couch in her dress instead of having to walk all the way up the stairs and make it to her bedroom like a responsible adult.

In another world, Emma would like to own a house like this. It’s charming. That’s the best way to describe it. It’s two floors, three bedrooms, has bay windows and built-in bookshelves, and the cabinets in the kitchen are a light green. She likes that it’s not cookie cutter white all the way around like some of the nicer houses around here. It has character, and though there are a few things she’d change beyond the needed repairs she does for the Fishers, it’s got good bones. Plus, the location is fantastic, and the backyard is spacious. It allows Emma to spend time in the sun without being stuck on a crowded beach or near a busy dock.

But this is not another world, and Emma could never afford a house this close to the coastline. She’s got no idea why she still lives here. Well, that’s not true, she knows exactly why she still lives here, and it’d be possible for her to pick up and move inland toward Boston. She just…she can’t. She’s been here for ten years after leaving her last foster home in Brockton, and it’s been a comfortable reprieve. She’s got her friends and her job(s), and even though she’s got years of hospitality experience, there’s no guarantee someone like her with a GED can get a job this well-paying and accommodating somewhere else. Plus, her housing is almost free, and she really can’t pass that up.

It all comes back to the house, which she’s dreading going into now no matter how much she wants to collapse onto her bed.

(Or the couch. She really misses the couch. It’s the best for napping.)

Emma steps inside, avoiding the places that make the floor groan, but it’s impossible to dodge them all. She tenses, then hurries across the living room toward the stairs, only turning to the opening to the kitchen at the last minute.

“Holy fuck,” Emma gasps, dropping her purse. It hits the ground in a gentle thud, her keys spilling out and clacking along the floor.

“Didn’t mean to scare you there, Swan.”

Emma’s breath hitches as she realizes who it is sitting at her kitchen table.

Killian…whatever his last name is. She’s got no clue and doesn’t care to ask. What she does want to know is why he’s sitting here alone at two in the morning like a fucking serial killer.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

He takes a sip of his drink, coffee she thinks from the smell, and leans back in the chair, the front legs tipping up with him. “Getting sober so I can drive home. Had two drinks with dinner, and it appears I’ve become a bit of a lightweight.”

“Don’t drink much then? I thought all you Brits liked going to the pub.”

He laughs, smile bright against the black of his stubble despite her poor attempt at his accent. “We do, but not so much me anymore. Trying to cut back.”

“Yeah, I get that.” She leans down to pick up her bag, grabbing her keys and tossing them back in. “I also get that we have Uber here. You might want to try that the next time you have a little too much to drink. You look like a murderer sitting in my kitchen like this.”

“It was two glasses of rum, nothing excessive. Wishing Ariel and Eric well before they leave in the morning.” He leans forward, the chair landing on all four legs, and downs the rest of his mug. “I don’t make a habit of drinking too much.”

“I don’t care what you do in your personal time. Just don’t make a mess in my house…or your friends’ house, I guess. And sleep on the couch if you want. There are blankets in the basket.”

She doesn’t know why she’s offering him the couch. She should be making him leave. Her heart is still leaping out of her chest from him scaring her, and even though this has been her home for years, she technically can’t ask him to leave. In reality, Ariel has probably offered him the couch already.

What a long day.

She wants it to be over.

“That’s surprisingly kind of you.”

Emma’s step falters, and while she was turning away from the man, she decides to turn back and narrow her eyes. What the hell is that supposed to mean? “I guess I’m full of surprises for men who don’t know me.”

“Just who are you then, Swan?” he asks, standing from the chair and putting his mug in the sink, turning the faucet on while never losing eye contact.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Perhaps I would.”

A shiver runs down Emma’s spine, but she ignores it and walks up the stairs. This is a weird week, one she doesn’t want to repeat, and the last thing she needs is to spend too much time with a man who thinks he can charm his way into anything with a few smooth words and a smile. She’s been around enough men like that in her lifetime, but it doesn’t matter with him. Tomorrow, he’ll be gone with Eric and Ariel, and she’ll be back to being able to walk around her house without pants whenever she wants.

Tomorrow, this weird as hell week will be over, and she’ll be back to normal…mostly.

-/-

-/-

Tag list: @qualitycoffeethings @marrtinski @klynn-stormz @scarletslippers @elizabeethan @jrob64 @snowbellewells @therealstartraveller776 @thejollyroger-writer @galadriel26 @galaxyzxstark @idristardis @karenfrommisthaven @teamhook @spartanguard @searchingwardrobes @jamif @shireness-says @ultimiflos @onepunintendid @bluewildcatfanatic @superchocovian @killianswannn @carpedzem @captainkillianswanjones @mayquita @mariakov81 @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @a-faekindagirl @scientificapricot @xellewoods @ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @kmomof4 @tiganasummertree @singersdd @tornadoamy @cluttermind @lfh1226-linda @andiirivera @itsfabianadocarmo @captain-emmajones @ilovemesomekillianjones @taylrsversion​ @dramioneswan​ @jonesfandomfanatic​ @wefoundloveunderthelight​

[npdclaraoswald]

@cauldronofmorning asked for these for both MASH and Doctor Who, so

MASH

1. What OTP's in your fandom do you just not get?

Charles/Klinger! I tried reading one of their fics just to see what the hell the appeal is and I think it's supposed to be some sort of enemies to lovers Cinderella story? But Charles is a racist and he treats Klinger terribly!!! Klinger deserves better! And he has better! He's great with Soon Lee and I don't understand why you would erase her or break them up for Charles

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

I wouldn't say ruined, bc I don't actively dislike them, but I don't like how beejhawk shippers treat Trapper and Carlye to make BJ look better

7. Is there anything you used to like but can't stand now?

I've only been in this fandom for like two months, I haven't had time for that

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn't? Why?

Not really? I can't really think of any unpopular characters aside from like, Frank, who deserves to be unpopular. Trapper I guess, since so much fic villainizes him in his relationship with Hawkeye for reasons I don't at all understand

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you liked and the fandom didn't? Why?

Not that I can think of

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

I know MASH is anti-war overall, but I do feel like we ignore the implications of loving army characters so much, and really gloss over how poorly the Korean characters are treated

22. Popular character you hate?

Flagg, I guess? I wouldn't exactly call him popular, but I have seen some people say he's funny and good satire, but I never really found him funny

23. Unpopular character you love?

Idk if he's really unpopular, but Sidney my beloved

Doctor Who

1. What OTP's in your fandom do you just not get?

I don't know if I have any? With all of the ships I'm aware of, even if I don't ship them, I do at least see the appeal. I guess 11 with any of his companions, but that's just bc I don't like 11

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

Not really. I do think tenrose is a bit overrated, but the show ran that into the ground in season 3 more than the fandom ever could

7. Is there anything you used to like but can't stand now?

The Family of Blood/Human Nature two parter. I know it's super popular and I used to like it too, but I just can't get over how fucking cruel and thoughtless it was of the Doctor to pick that particular time and place to strand Martha in and I fucking hate that he falls in love with a racist and that she gets to come back for the RTD era finale

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn't? Why?

Clara Oswald, my beloved. She seems to be a really polarizing character where people either love or despise her, and admittedly, I used to hate her top bc she is absolutely a plot device more than a person in s7, but jesus christ, does she make up for it in her spiral into recklessness, control, and trying to be the Doctor. I love her so fucking much.

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you liked and the fandom didn't? Why?

Speaking of Clara, while I'm definitely not going to say Iiked season 7, I am endlessly fascinated by the concept of versions of her scattered throughout all of time and space and I don't understand how the fandom (or the show) hasn't addressed that more

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Oh, right now, all of the RTD love. I've gotten to a better place with my body image, but I am a fat person and watching his outrageous fatphobia as a teenager was awful. Plus, he treated Mickey and Martha like shit, and he treats older women poorly too. And while I don't really pay attention to behind the scenes stuff, I do know Billie Piper has said she felt harrassed on set and that RTD did nothing to prevent it. Like, yes, Moffant and Chibnall have some fucking problems, but so did RTD and I am NOT excited about his return

22. Popular character you hate?

The Eleventh Doctor. I fucking hate how he treats women, from him kissing Jenny without her consent to asking Rory for his consent for him to hug Amy but not hers. I'm 90% certain that the reason he's like that is bc Moffat treated him as a self insert and had every fucking woman in the universe throw themselves at his feet, and that the reason the writing with Twelve improved so much was that he stopped seeing him as a self insert

23. Unpopular character you love?

Mickey Smith my beloved. He had such a cool character arc, but the narrative still treated him like a useless idiot, just so they could prop up tenrose

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

What do you think of Rose Tyler? She's my favorite but I've noticed that there tends to be rivalry between Rose and Martha fans. Personally I have nothing against Martha but you seem to really like her so whats your take?

I’m...not the biggest fan of Rose. 

(Going under the cut so people don’t have to see a critical post about her in the tag if they don’t want to.) 

So, in some ways, Rose is one of the more interesting Companions to me because she’s such a flawed human being. The drawback is that the series so rarely acknowledges this and simply treats Rose like she’s incredible. This gets especially bad during Season 2 because we see her through Ten’s eyes, and he’s falling in love with her. So even though she’s just as selfish and short-sighted as she always has been, the show stops calling her out on it. Really, Father’s Day is one of my favorite episodes for a multitude of reasons, but among them is the development we get of Rose’s character. The conflict in that episode is literally all her fault, and no one pretends otherwise. But you understand, as a viewer, why she did it. You recognize that hell, you might have done the same. “Rose” and the Aliens in London/World War Three two parter demonstrate how she treats Mickey and Jackie...and it’s not especially kind. The End of The World, where she picks a fight with Cassandra. Boom Town, where Mickey calls her out and the ending actually parallels her with Margaret and the whole idea of second chances. Even in the Season 1 finale, when she thoughtlessly tells Mickey that there’s “nothing left for her” here, and it goes over her head how much that breaks him. Rose is interesting because I don’t think she’s a very great person. 

I guess I’d like her more if the later seasons didn’t reflect on her like she was. Mickey’s character arc reaches an excellent peak in Season 2. But apart from that, Rose doesn’t grow or change as a person. The concept of “second chances” never returns. The season teases that she’s going to die, but that doesn’t happen. (They later do the same thing with Donna, so...) Her selfishness also reaches new bounds in the finale when, without a moment’s hesitation, she chooses The Doctor over her family and friends. Isn’t the least bit conflicted about losing Jackie. I recognize that it’s her decision to make about her own life, and they were trying to make it for her...but damn, she made that choice in a nanosecond. And seeing the way she broke down and screamed “Take me back!” After they were separated. Like, really? How bout a “Thanks Dad, for saving my life.” or something? Pete risked his own neck to recue her from the Void. Rose does eventually return in Season 4, but she winds up staying with The Meta-crisis Doctor. I can’t tell if this is supposed to be a punishment - recruiting her to watch over a cloned Doctor (Who they treat as a criminal for no good reason, but that’s neither here nor there) or if it’s supposed to be the ultimate happy ending for her. Either way, I find it amusing that she refused to stop coming back until she got a Doctor of her own. Like, sure, you could call that entitled, but I just find it funny, personally. 

I have no issue with Rose fans at all, or fans of Rose x Ten. It saddens me that there is some rivalry between them and fans of Martha, who I’ll freely admit to being a major fan of. Rest assured, it has nothing to do with my feelings about Rose, but I suppose I can’t blame fans of the show for feeling like they have to choose a side, because the show itself pushes that narrative. It pushes the idea of “Rose vs Martha” despite how silly that is. These two characters share exactly one bit of dialogue, and it’s mostly just Martha going “Holy shit, you’re Rose!” because The Doctor never stopped talking about her or pining after her during Season 3, oblivious to how much it hurt her feelings. Well, at least until The Family of Blood. I think after that The Doctor kind of knew Martha fancied him, because he doesn’t seem at all surprised when she admits it in the finale. Anyway...

[nellie-elizabeth]

Doctor Who: Revolution of the Daleks (2021 New Years Special)

I honestly really loved that! Like, a lot!

Cons:

It wasn't perfect, however. Of course. A few little nitpicky things, and one or two bigger complaints:

So, the bad guy was a little too one-note evil capitalist/politician. Some of his lines made me roll my eyes, like "this is a PR nightmare" being his reaction when he learned that the Daleks were eating liquified humans. The irony of him suddenly being hailed as a hero worked okay, but he was maybe just a touch too cartoonish for my personal preference, in an episode that mostly managed to feel really grounded.

Sometimes the Dalek stories will touch on this "race purity" thing, and the Doctor will talk about how they are beings of hate, and it really feels like we're doing a Nazi allegory, but they don't quite... go somewhere with it? Like, we've got the Prime Minster character talking about protecting borders and increasing security, and then the Daleks who are trying to stamp out "impurities," right? And there's something there, it's not exactly the most subtle of story craft, I guess I just wish it felt more intentional. The Daleks have metaphorical resonance here, and I'm not sure it was totally utilized.

My biggest complaint is one that could have been fixed with an added line or two of dialogue. See, the Doctor drops her "fam" off, then immediately gets imprisoned and remains trapped for literal years, from her perspective. Jack shows up and saves her, and when they return back to Earth, ten months have passed for Graham, Ryan, and Yaz. And the fam, especially Yaz and Ryan, are pissed. They're livid with her for abandoning them, and it really made them think about their place in life, if they want to stay with the Doctor or not. That's all well and good, but there's not really a confrontation of the fact that the Doctor didn't abandon them because she was off on a lark... she was imprisoned. Alone, cut off, for years. I was really flummoxed by the lack of sympathy extended by the others. I know it's her "fault" or maybe the TARDIS' "fault" that she got back ten months later, but what about the years that she spent without them? In my opinion, there was a lack of balance in dealing with that aspect of things.

Pros:

So... if Yaz is not supposed to be in love with the Doctor, someone forgot to tell the actors. And writers. Because WOW. I'm kind of obsessed with the way Yaz was written here. When the Doctor is gone, both Graham and Ryan try and get on with their lives. But Yaz remains firmly focused on finding the Doctor. Of all three companions, Yaz is the one who gets a special moment with Jack, where they basically commiserate over what it's like to be in love with the Doctor and know you won't get to stay with her forever. And then Yaz decides to stay, while the other two leave the TARDIS. There is just so much material here, so much love and desperation from Yaz. There were ways to make this a lot more no-homo, and they didn't take it. For example, during the Jack and Yaz conversation, Jack starts off talking about all the amazing things he got to see with the Doctor, and how losing that was so hard. But Yaz doesn't frame it around her experiences in general, she frames it around the Doctor as a person - wishing she'd never met her so she wouldn't have to suffer knowing what she'd be losing. It's GAY, I tell you. GAY!

Just look at Yaz's arc in this episode. She's missing the Doctor, she's conflicted about staying with her because of the heartbreak awaiting her at the end, but she chooses, ultimately, to stay by her side. Honestly, Yaz is the first companion since... well... Rose, maybe, whose character arc is best served by staying with the Doctor forever. Because she loves her. Romantically. Other companions, notably Martha, Amy, Rory, and Bill, all had other shit going on, other things they had to learn through their adventures. A life to grow into. Yaz? Yaz's place is by the Doctor's side, and I for one am thrilled to see where they're going with this. Come on, BBC. Don't be cowards. Make it gay.

Having Jack back in this special was such a treat. He's an undeniably fun and hilarious character, but Barrowman grounds the performance and gives Jack some real weight. I kind of love the way Jack and this version of the Doctor interact, with this depth of history but also a certain frostiness. We must remember that the Doctor knows what happens to Jack, exactly how long he'll live and how his end will come, and this version of the Doctor, more than any of the other modern versions, has a bit of a wall up when it comes to revealing her inner self to the people around her. But they still love each other, and you can see that love shining through the performance. At first, I was kind of miffed that Jack basically made his exit offscreen, just a voiceover saying he was staying on Earth, a very casual goodbye... but then actually I ended up loving that choice. It's like the Doctor and Jack are two people who were once very close, and will always have that bond, but now they're kind of like time traveling coworkers, just flitting in and out of each others' orbits. The way Jack leaves, there's no reason why he might not come back another time. It's refreshing and fun.

And Jack gave himself a bit of a mentor role in this episode, coaching the others (especially Yaz) on what it is to be the Doctor's companions, on what it might mean. I loved the moment when the Doctor came up with a plan to defeat the Daleks, and while the others were all confused, Jack got exactly what she was doing and tried to talk her out of it right away. Then, when the ship needed to be destroyed, the Doctor assigned the task to Jack, knowing that he'd be happy to blow it up. That shared history really shined through for me!

And now let's talk about Ryan and Graham leaving the TARDIS to stay on earth. Earlier, I was talking about companions and how for the most part, the characters have a growth arc over their time with the Doctor. For Ryan and Graham, it was about healing their relationship, as they grieved for their shared loss. And they did that. They have purpose now, as we see them continuing their life and fighting to protect Earth in the Doctor's absence. I love the idea of having more companions around for the Doctor to interact with. This has never been an ensemble show (not since it rebooted anyway), and the gimmick works best by having the Doctor and one or a small number of companions along for the ride in the TARDIS. But imagine Ryan or Graham giving the Doctor a call someday, whether it be in this regeneration or the next, because they need help with a problem back on Earth. Or maybe the Doctor calls them up the next time she's in the neighborhood! It warms my heart to think about it!

I haven't talked much about the Daleks or, you know, the actual plot of this special, and that's because frankly I'm not sure that was where its strengths lie. And that's okay! I will say I liked that the focus remained on the characters and their relationships, but we also had some commentary about the growing prevalence of the police state in first-world western countries. And capitalism is always an easy motivator for a villain, and that was executed more or less well, barring the complaints I made above. It was a serviceable story that created a proper threat, while really only being there to serve as a backdrop for the human drama.

So that's it! I've seen some mixed responses to this one floating around, but I for one quite enjoyed myself, and I'm excited to meet this new companion coming in. As long as they don't try and make him a love interest for Yaz or the Doctor. These ladies are spoken for.

8/10

[syndianites]

The After; The Athar: Chapter Two

Chapter 2/?

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 [Here] - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5

AO3: This Chapter - Full Fic

Summary: Post Season 2, non-Mianitian Compliant. Wag escorts Martha to Jordan's house and decides to have a day out with Sonja.

Relationships: Sparklington (end-game), Marthlington (temporarily), Sparkanite (Spark x Ianite) (past, mentioned), Motanite

Content Warnings: Death Mentions, Implied Depression, Implied PTSD, Self-Deprecation, Breaking up a Relationship (Marthlington)

AN: The stuff about the Cult of Athar in here is canon! It was written by the Wizards, but never delved into. I did my best to represent it as accurately as possible.

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 The duo had just started into Jerry’s Tree when they heard a call behind them. They turned to see Jordan hustling forward, an awkward smile on his face. Wag shared a look with Martha. Seems his suspicions had been correct.

 He’d have to ask Jordan about that.

 Jordan, meanwhile, had shuffled to a stop right in front of them. “Hey guys, glad I caught you.” He glanced between them. “What brings you to my abode?”

 “You were looking for me yesterday, right?” Martha starts. “Well, I do have some free time now, I figured I’d stop by to see what you needed.”

 He stopped for a moment. Hummed. “Oh!” Jordan jumped back in. “I wanted to talk to you about some godly related stuff. Spark’s been- uh, well, he’s been drilling in ‘how to be a perfect Ianite follower’ for-” Wag was amazed that neither of them reacted to the name anymore. Different goddess, of course, but that was still a festering wound. “- whatever reason, and I haven’t been able to escape him long enough to avoid the lecture. I honestly just want to talk to someone that’s more in the know-how that’s,” Jordan waved his hands, “not him. Give me another week of this and I might just turn from champion to missionary.”

 Martha huffed, but a smile snuck up onto her lips. “He’s not that bad, I’m sure. But yes, I do have some time to talk about ‘godly stuff’.” She turned to Wag, hesitating a moment. “I’ll see you later then, Wag.” She reached out a hand to delicately stroke a cheek.

 He gave what he hoped was a solid smile back. “Until then, love.” Wag took her hand, thumb stroking the back of it before he placed a parting kiss upon it. Reluctantly, he started to trail away, keeping her hand in his for as long as he could. When he was far enough, he offered Jordan a wave goodbye. Then he turned to walk back down the hill.

 Shit. Now he had to figure out how to break up with Martha.

 Yeah, these next few days aren’t going to be fun.

 But what to do now? The day had only just started and there wasn’t much use in going back to being a shut in when the sun had hardly started up the sky. Well, hanging with Jordan, or Martha, was out. Maybe Tom? Or Sonja or Tucker? It was fairly hard to keep track of Tom nowadays, though.

 Things were odd with Tom. Not between him and Tom, but with Tom in general. It felt like he was trying to balance who he was in this world and who he was in Ruxomar and not finding either. Like he was feeling pressured to merge the distant past with the recent past and come to terms with Dianite- both Dianites- and Mot.

 What was up with them, anyway? Last Wag had checked, Tom and Mot were fairly buddy buddy and Tom and Dianite were pretty chill, despite the bit of tension when Mot showed up and when Tom’s penchant dumbassery was making its rounds. Now, it seemed like Tom was trying to keep a good distance from them.

 Here he was getting distracted again. But damn if everyone didn’t have some issues skulking around. He wondered if Sonja or Tucker had something. What did they feel about the other Mianite? And his death?

 Ok, ok, not the point. What should he do now?

 Damn, did he really have no life outside of his tower that he was drawing such hard blanks?

 Fuck it, he’d swing around Sonja’s and ask if she wanted to go flower picking with him. Sorry, gather floral ingredients for potions. With how many people were ordering luck potions, he was going to be stuck finding four leaf clovers in all his free time.

 It seemed a pleasant stroll through town was in order, then. Maybe he’d pick up a muffin on the way. Perhaps a chocolate one. He would indulge in some more tea but he was looking for more of an on-the-go thing.

 He nodded to himself, making his way through the streets of the town to the quaint little bakery settled just past the docks. The baker was a kind, younger lady who had told him that her dream was to open a bakery, and an island with few inhabitants that barely anyone had ever been to was free real estate. To be fair, she wasn’t wrong. No one else had tried to make any competition and no one was complaining about her being here. In fact, there would probably be a lot of hooting and hollering if she left.

 When he wandered in the smell of warm bread welcomed him. Gretchen called a greeting from behind the counter, back turned to him as she kneaded a batch of dough. She was short, Wag towering over her, but she could take him out if she so pleased. Not just because she was finely muscled- she could give any seaman a run for their money- but also because a mere breeze could knock Wag and his gangly awkwardness over.

 “How do you do today, dearest Gretchen?” Wag surveyed the items currently on display. The croissants looked heavenly, and next to them sat three eclairs. They appeared to have been recently chilled as their chocolate icing had drops of condensation beading along the top. There was a colorful display of macarons on the rack besides those, as well as a row of various muffins.

 “Oh, I’m doing as well as one can when they wake at the crack of dawn,” Gretchen said over her shoulder, giving him a quick smile.

 “So feeling shitty and barely functional?” Wag mused over the muffins, trying to spy a chocolate one. Unfortunately, though he was quite awake, his brain was struggling to spot the difference between what could be a chocolate muffin or a blueberry muffin. Or a morning glory. He wrinkled his nose. Why would anyone put raisins in a muffin?

 Gretchen laughed. “Perhaps for a shut in, but I am feeling quite fine. It’s nice to watch the sunrise, y’know. Getting up early? Not so much. If not for the bakery I’d much prefer to sleep in.”

 Wag scoffed playfully. “Me, a shut in? Preposterous. I’ll have you know I am, at worst, a friendly, magical hermit. At best, I am a magnificent wizard that lives in a tower nearby that oh so graciously helps out the townsfolk.”

 “For a fee.” Gretchen was layering the dough now. If there weren't croissants sitting in front of him, Wag might say she was making those. Perhaps she was making danish pastries? It had been a while since he’d seen them on her display. It’d also been a while since he’d visited.

 “A wizard’s got to make a living somehow.” Wag picked up a muffin, closely inspecting it. It looked like it was chocolate. He hoped it was chocolate. But if it was blueberry he would live. Both were good, especially from here.

 “That he does.” She paused from her dough magic to take a look at him. “Blueberry muffin? Anything else?”

 Wag clicked his tongue. “Was hoping this was chocolate. But yes, just one muffin to go. I wasn’t really anticipating being awake so early, but Martha was home and she likes to get up early, and Jordan wanted to talk to her, and I,” he waved his hands, “wanted to spend some time with her? So I walked her to his house. Now, I’m standing here. Then heading to Sonja’s.”

 Yeah, it felt like he’d just recounted his entire life story to her. No, he was not going to acknowledge how painful that part of the conversation was to participate in.

 Gretchen raised an eyebrow, plucking the muffin from his hand, replacing it on the rack and grabbing one from farther back in the line. This one, now that he saw it, looked much more like a chocolate muffin than the other. Nice.

 “Funny you should mention Jordan.” It was Wag’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “He asked about you, oh, yesterday? The day before? About how you were doing. Seemed fairly concerned ‘bout ya. Asked me how you were doing when he came in for a treat.” She lifted a hand before Wag could interrupt. “He came here for the treat, but I guess he had you on the mind. This used to be one of your favorite places, I suppose it reminded him of you.”

 Well if that didn’t make Wag feel warm on the inside, what would? It was nice to feel remembered. But wait, was that why Jordan had come over yesterday, then? Except he had been looking for Martha.

 That put a frown back on his face. “He did swing by yesterday, but he asked for Martha. Are you sure he was concerned about me?”

 Gretchen rolled her eyes. “Yes. It was very obvious even if he tried to hide it. I did tell him that Martha would know more about how you were doing than I would, so that could be why he asked for her.” She held out her hand and Wag dutifully placed some copper coins in it. “Mr. Sparklez doesn’t seem like the best with confronting people about their feelings, so it wouldn’t surprise me that he’d see you and balk at the idea of bringing up his concerns with you directly. Going to Martha would be way easier for him than going to you. If he actually ever asks Martha about you at all.”

 Wag hummed in thought, ignoring the little ‘wuss’ Gretchen mutters under her breath in relation to Jordan. That much was true, Jordan was not much of a feelings guy. The dorky puns and trying hard to be the smart one guy? Yes. Feelings? You’d have better luck with Tom.

 Actually, Tom was pretty easy on the feelings side. Kind of. You’d have better luck with Tucker than Jordan. And Tucker was not the most emotional sort of man. There we go.

 “Well, when I left Martha with Jordan, he said he wanted to ask her about ‘godly stuff’. Do you think they’re actually talking about me?” Wag pulled a sliver off the top of his muffin and nibbled on it.

 Gretched leaned on the counter with a shrug, dropping the coins into her apron pocket. “Maybe. Who’s to say?” She eyed him up and down, a contemplative look coming into her eyes. “Didn’t you say you were heading to Sonja’s? That’s good, you could use more time out of the house. If you weren’t naturally gray I’d say you were getting pale. Hard to tell like this, but you are getting more of the ‘I’m your friendly neighborhood ghost’ type look than ‘I’m your charming, possibly demonic, friendly wizard’ type look. Take one for the road,” Gretchen reached over to pluck another muffin off the rack, passing it to Wag.

 “What if I just eat both myself?” Wag joked, taking the muffin in his other hand.

 Gretchen tsked. “Sorry, I only give freebies to the pretty ladies. You sir, are no pretty lady.”

 Wag gasped, “How dare you! My mother said I could be anything I wanted to be! If I want to be a pretty lady to get a free muffin, I’ll be a pretty lady!”

 She pushed his shoulder with a guffaw. “Oh sure, princess. If you ever come in dressed to the nines as the most gorgeous lady I’ve seen, I’ll give you a pretty muffin. Be warned,” Gretchen bat her eyelashes. “I have seen quite the stunning women before.”

 Wag rolled his eyes fondly, making for the door. “Just you watch, I’ll come blow your socks off!”

 With a wave, he departed. He twirled the other muffin in his hand. Free muffin for a pretty lady, huh?

 Wait, was Gretchen hitting on Sonja?

 ~~~

 Wag didn’t end up making it to Sonja and Tucker’s house. Rather, he found Sonja sitting near the shore just in front of it, staring up at Mianite’s temple. He didn’t take Sonja for much of a morning person, but it seemed like the temple would have a nice view during sunrise.

 Settling down next to her without a comment, he offered her the muffin. Sonja was surprised to see him, her eyes searching his face, but wordlessly took the muffin. They ate them in silence.

 The temple had changed a lot, but that was to be expected. It had been razed to the ocean floor, after all. But from what he had heard there had been a big effort in rebuilding it. Though the work would have taken years, it apparently had taken mere months.

 Mianite, according to word of mouth, hadn’t helped rebuild it at all. Rather, he didn’t expect anyone else to move to the island. Hell, neither did Dec, who had been making plans to move elsewhere. It made Wag wonder why the gods, why the priest himself, had shown up here. Why had the wizards? He drummed his fingers against his leg, dismissing the thought for another time.

 The wizards, before the heroes had even left, had refused to help. Wag remembered this well. They hadn’t wanted to step on Mianite’s toes, so to say, as it was a gift he had sent the world and had been crafted by the god’s own hand.

 Actually- again- Ianite had played a part in rebuilding it. It was almost strange to think about, the Goddess of Balance rebuilding the temple of another god. Except, it made sense. She didn’t rebuild it of her own power. Rather, she encouraged the common folk to rebuild it and helped a great deal along the way. She invited people from far off lands to come restore the temple and, with the assistance of Spark, set up the town that had been cultivated as a solid landmark. Ianite used the restoration of the temple as a way of connecting the island to the rest of the world.

 Though, when asked why she had chosen to help rebuild the temple, Ianite had responded, “It’s my way of thanking Mianite and his champions for helping to save me. It is the least I could do for such a tremendous task.”

 Maybe that’s why she rebuilt Jerry’s Tree, too. To thank Jordan. Or to honor him.

 Wag’s favorite part of this story- as it was only a story to him, he’d never had any real confirmation on this- was what Ianite had said: Mianite and his      champions. Plural. That meant Ianite acknowledged Sonja as Mianite’s loyal follower and champion just as much as Tucker. Sonja deserved it for all the effort she had put into this world and the last. She deserved a lot more than she got.

 “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Wag startled at the sound of Sonja’s voice. He turned to her, but she was looking at the temple still. She inclined her head towards it, saying nothing more.

 He had been looking at the temple without seeing it, he realized. Thinking too hard.

 She was right. The sun was still low in the sky, giving it a faintly fiery hue. It couldn't have been too long since sunrise, yet the color of dawn still remained. Perhaps that was just the effect of the ocean.

 But the effect made the temple light up. The eagle, standing mighty and proud once more, was burning in the light, smoldering and strong, wings raised up to the sky with an open, shrieking cry. It was the symbol of strength and sureness, of justice. The sun was a halo around it, blindingly bright.

 That’s how the future felt: burning and bright, impossible to grasp. But it was there.

 The rest of the temple held much of the same vigor. The majority of the original details were kept, but they were also exaggerated. The pillars had been built double the size, a subtle comment of ‘no matter how many times you knock us down we will return stronger’, the garden fuller and more organized, filled to the brim with blooming blossoms. The walls were filled with more gold than before, and more detail. Each column was carefully carved to perfection, but at this distance he couldn’t make all the details out. From what he remembered they ranged from majestic creatures running amok, to people dancing in celebration, to the retelling of great battles. The arches that served as the entrance had been decorated to the fullest, lavish silks and jewels hanging from their edges along the dutifully crafted gold lining.

 The best part were the guardians. They stood tall and proud, just as regal as before but now with more life, more color. Rather than the same straight white they had been they were adorned with golds and blues. Shimmering prismarine and lapis lazuli. Their swords were colored to appear like the finest, purest gold- though Wag knew that they weren’t made of real gold, as that would have been more than expensive. To top it all off, each featured a set of wings raised high to the sky, like the very eagle that sat in the middle of the temple.

 Another important detail was the fact that the back of the temple was open as well, likely for passing boats to see. On the other side stood dual lighthouses that burned bright in the night with mystical fire that would neither go out or be moved from their place. The area to drop prayers had been moved to the eagle’s feet and the hidden room supposedly not implemented. Supposedly.

 It was truly stunning. Where the change in Jerry’s Tree felt like a rebirth, this felt like getting beaten down only to get up again. Like healing. Growing.

 “It is.” He’d left her in silence long enough. “I still remember when it first appeared. It was glorious. Now?” Wag turns to her, maybe trying to make a point, maybe trying to say something deep, or just maybe just thinking out loud. “After being destroyed? It’s come back better.”

 Damn, who the hell turned on the philosophy today? Next thing you know he’ll be wondering aloud what existence is and if there is a purpose to life.

 Fuck that shit.

 Isn’t this the exact thing that had been haunting him as he stowed away in his tower? His thoughts falling over themselves to derive meaning out of every little thing that’s changed? To make sense of it? The temple looks better because it's not a pile of rubble. Jerry’s Tree is different because it was practically a pile of ash before. Why does this all need meaning?

 Sonja seemed to share his sentiment. She laughed at him. “Hey now, that’s trying to be too deep for so early in the morning. Come back better? Ha. It's just,” she pauses, giving it a wistful glance before shaking her head. “Different.”

 Wag nods. “It is. It all is. Feels like everything’s changing, like we got plopped in a world just adjacent to ours.”

 “Too deep!” Sonja decreed. Standing up, she brushed the back of her legs free of stray grass and sand. “Things are going to change and that’s that. I wasn’t expecting the world to wait on us, and it didn’t. That just means we have to catch up or get left in the dust.”

 “Who’s too deep?” Wag chuckled to himself, taking the hand Sonja offered him.

 “Alright, enough sitting around.” She sent a sly smile over to him after she jammed the rest of her muffin in her mouth. Wag watched in amusement as she chewed hastily, tried not to choke, and spluttered a little as some went down the wrong hatch.

 Recovering fast, she gives him a pained grin. “What brings Mr. Tower Wizard out of the lair today? Something good, I hope.” She poked him in the ribs teasingly.

 “Well,” Wag starts, ignoring the dig, “Martha happened to be home last night and I had the pleasure of walking her over to Jordan’s to chat about something. Which is why I am both awake before lunch and currently standing outside. I figured it’d been a while since I bothered you, so here I am, bothering you.” He finished with a wink.

 Sonja frowned for a moment, focusing on something he said, before deciding to let it go. For now, at least. Knowing her, she’d find a way to bring it up later. Wag wasn’t quite looking forward to whatever she had latched onto.

 Filling the silence, Wag added, “I was thinking we could go plant hunting. Specifically for four leaf clovers, but also for any other potentially useful plants. You know, for potions.”

 He tried for a smile while Sonja looked him over. Her eyebrows rose. “You go plant hunting in that? Your typical robes and all? It’s, like, the middle of spring.”

 Wag shrugged. “It’s not that big of a difference. Just gets the cloak a bit dirty.”

 She scoffed. “Just gets the cloak a bit dirty,” Sonja muttered. “I bet you don’t even bring any food or water with you, do you?”

 He looked to the side. “Of course I do!” That wasn’t a lie. He always brought at least a snack and a water skin. He wasn’t that stupid.

 “I’ll believe you, for now.” She assessed her own outfit. Her typical hoodie over a white t-shirt, some lounge pants, and bare feet. “I, for one, need to get dressed. I would recommend,” she drew out the last word, giving him a look, “That you change into something more suitable for romping around the countryside. I won't force you to, but I won't be helping you if you get hot and sweaty and pass out like an idiot.”

 He wanted to retort that he wouldn’t. That he was a wizard with powers that came close to the gods’ themselves. That weather was no issue for him.

 But it had been in Ruxomar. The trip to Urulu had been sweltering. The Nether felt like it had been trying to slowly boil him alive. Whenever he’d come out of water, clothes damp as a rain shower, he’d felt frigid.

 It still felt like he was in Ruxomar, powerless and startlingly mortal.

 He bit his tongue.

 Instead he shook his head, and started to wander back to his tower. He stopped as Sonja called after him. “Meet right here after you get dressed. I’ll round up some food and shit and then we can leave.” She turned to head back into her house. “If you thought I was going to trek up to your tower up in the sky you were wrong!” Then she shuffled up the hill with a laugh.

 ~~~

 They convened later at the shore as told. Sonja looked at Wag with a little glee, having convinced him to actually change.

 Athar knows how long it’d been since he’d changed.

 … why did he swear on Athar’s name anyway? He helped kill him. Shouldn’t he swear on his own name? Wag shrugged mentally to himself. Better to swear on a dead guy's name than his own.

 Anyway. Sidetrack.

 Wag, instead of his usual cloak, was in surprisingly adventure-ready getup. Long sleeve hooded shirt- Sonja rolled her eyes at the hood- thick, but breathable, pants, and hiking boots. Actual hiking boots. That spoke volumes about how much Wag had tried to look like he knew what he was doing. Oh, and he had one of those handy dandy belt satchels? Utility belts? A belt that had neat pouches on it for carrying flowers and clovers. Hell yeah.

 Sonja, on the other hand, had dressed much more like her usual outfit. To be fair, though, her usual outfit was both light and what she fought literal battles in. However, instead of short-shorts she had knee-length shorts. Her socks fit nicely underneath. Somewhere along the line she’d found black, fingerless gloves as well. Wag had a sneaking suspicion that she’d stolen them from Tucker.

 “Alright, now that we’re all ready to go-” Sonja made a point of jostling the backpack she had slung over her shoulders, likely filled with food and drinks she had raided from her own kitchen,”-we can commence our dainty flower picking session. If you don’t find me the biggest, bluest flower the world has ever seen to leave for Mianite then this trip is a failure.”

 Wag nods sagely. “It will be the most magical of flowers ever seen.” With a sweep of his arm, he motions for Sonja to lead the charge into the wilderness. Which wilderness? The Wilderness.

 Basically they were going to go wander around out past the old FyreUK Castle. Why there? Where Wag has to look at the castle and remember everything that used to be? Easy: there’s a lingering magic that lurks about the castle that makes it more likely for magical flora to sprout and grow. Also because no one goes over there.

 Mostly because no one goes over there.

 It took them roughly a half hour of trailing up and down hills, through dry grass and loose dirt, and a few quick hops through water to get to the Castle. Good old FyreUK HQ. Still standing.

 They were on the bridge, stopping to take a rest. Wag took a sweeping glance of the Castle and then looked away. Sonja tactfully didn’t ask about it. Instead, she waited while Wag poked around the trees sitting in the circle part of the bridge, watching him prod at the vines and undergrowth that had gathered there over the years. At one point he took out a pair of clippers, untangled a flowering vine from one of the tree’s branches, and politely snipped part of it off and curled it into a pocket.

 Then they were off again, back down the bridge and further into the country. Not too much further, actually. The end of the bridge was just a hop, skip, and jump away from an oak forest, which was a breath of fresh air compared to the endless savanna and desert motif of the island. It was also right next to a nice little plains area.

 Which made it perfect for Wag’s plans. Plains for the clovers and cool flowers, the forest for any other interesting stuff. He remembered chilling there in between building sessions for FryeUK HQ itself. It was always much cooler than the area around it.

 “Well, darling dearest, here we are.” Wag gave a little twirl. “Here we shall find you the most magical of flowers for your pretty, pretty princess, Mianite himself. And maybe one for his maid, Tucker.”

 “Ha!” Sonja turns her head away to snicker to herself. “If anything his fairest maid should be giving me flowers!” Her laughter dropped into a small, wistful smile. “Maybe I will.”

 Wag gave her a description of some of the regular flowers and plants that he normally went for, then sauntered off into the woods.

 Classy.

 Sonja followed with a fond eye roll, eyeing flowers as they passed. True to Wag’s suspicions, -which weren’t suspicions so much as things he already knew from before, but who was keeping track?- there were some strange, magical flora laying about. Not magical in the ‘consume it to get temporary fire powers way’, but more magical in the ‘these colors aren’t something flowers can pull off on their own’ or ‘this shouldn’t ever have been able to get this big’. Like if they were subject to radiation, except this world had no concept of yellorium as far as he knew.

 The first thing Wag collected was something of a marvel. Not because it was beautiful, but because it was weird. It looked like a flower. But instead of growing leaves along the stem, it grew petals. They were a soft pink, like the flush of skin, and soft to the touch. Not a trace of leaves remained on the flower. For all intents and purposes, it looked like a failed daisy. Or a successful one?

 There weren’t many magical flowers, in all honesty. For all the magic the wizards had done, most of it was just absorbed into the earth as per normal. The world was teeming with magic, but that was what made it function. What made the gods gods was the fact that they could use this magic. Or, rather, that they, too, were filled with it.

 It showed up in a lot of ways. Witches, potions, the way you could grow anything from any environment you wanted to, so as long as you gave it what it needed. Well, that last one wasn’t impossible, but what other world could you go to a desert, with minimal rain and the sweltering sun, and plant something that relies on constant water to thrive and have it live for months upon months?

 He was getting sidetracked again.

 The point was, this was just a small, insignificant place where a little bit of magic overflowed because of the proximity to the wizards. It used to have more weird things happen, but now the wizards were gone and Wag was… yeah. So he’d sometimes stumble upon a flower with a gradient from purple to red and have to puzzle out whether that was a normal mutation or a magical one. Then the flower would shimmer and the gradient would shift and he’d decide, yeah, that      was    a magical mutation, he was right!

 Flowers were weird on their own, what could he say?

 His favorite were the cornflowers. Not because they were beautiful- they were!- but because, by some manner of magic, they migrated over here on their own. You couldn’t find them in the savannah, or the desert, or even near the coastline. But here, in this tiny blip of forest and plains, they surfaced. He had half a mind to wonder if they weren’t a result of two different flowers populating, then the offspring mutating. Cornflowers, however, were a real flower. They just shouldn’t be real here. Which was cool.

 So maybe Wag had become something of a flower nut over the past few weeks. Who was going to judge him, the gods? Well, fuck them! Not literally, though.

 The cornflowers before him, however, were something special. From what he knew, they weren’t supposed to be this big, nor were they supposed to grow in such small units. They should be something more like a bush, with multiple stalks sprouting out and huddled together. The ones he found, Sonja poking at some poppies behind him, were very much trying to act like tulips. Less group-y and more individual.

 He suspected magic was involved.

 The buds alone were about the size of his palm, and those that had flowered were almost bigger than his hand! They were marvelous. And blue!

 Wag snuck a look at Sonja, who was blissfully unaware of his sudden bout of mischief. He plucked a stalk- which was as thick as a pencil- and twisted around to carefully tickle the tip of her tail with the broken end of the stem. She didn’t notice, face scrunched up in thought as she appeared to be trying to decide if the poppies were out of the ordinary or not. They weren’t. Just good ole regular poppies.

 Fighting back a snicker, he gently and slowly trailed the stem upward. It took the stem going from white to orange fur for Sonja to suddenly startle, ears shooting up and back going ramrod straight. She took a swipe at the flower, but Wag hurried out of the way. Clutching the poor, innocent cornflower to his chest, he mock gasped.

 “Sonja! You almost destroyed the biggest, bluest flower I’ve ever seen!” He brought the back of his hand to his forehead. “Could you imagine if you had? We’d have to return with it crushed! Or worse.” Wag’s eyes widened comically. His voice dropped to a stage whisper. “The second biggest, most bluest flower.”

 She gasped in shock. Her voice was but a mutter. “No, we can’t have that. Imagine! Bringing home something second best! T'would be not only a shame, but a disrespect to his name. I could never.”

 Wag nodded sagely. He cradled the blossom between his hands, reverently offering it up to Sonja. “Treat it well. Though it may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of your life, it holds value untold. The gods themselves tremble beneath its weight, the tremors of the earth quake for its life. Hold onto this and you hold onto what men are willing to go to war for.”

 Sonja delicately grasped its stem, a serious look on her face. “I will, O’ great wizard. I will guard this to my last breath, travel across a thousand seas, five hundred miles of land, to bequeath this to the god of which I hold most dear.”

 Her lips twitched as she tried to keep her laughter in. “Ianite, of course.”

 Wag, however, burst out laughing. “Oh yes, the god you follow, Ianite herself. Mianite who?”

 Facade breaking, Sonja joined in the laughter. Placing the flower down, she held onto her stomach, curling around it. Wag tried not to fall over from his dramatic kneel.

 They took a second to calm down, smiles still firm on their faces.

 “But yes, this will be satisfactory as a gift to Mianite.” Sonja appraised it, looking past him to eye the bush it came from. “What are these flowers? I don’t think I’ve seen them before.” She looked back to Wag. “And I dabbled in Botania in the other realm.”

 Wag stood up, turning his attention back to the flora. “Cornflowers. They live in more temperate climates; plains, some forests, and such. It’s strange to have found them here, all things considered.” He gestures around vaguely. “We do live in a mostly savanna environment. I’m not even sure how they made it to this little patch of paradise, never mind the fact that this area exists as it does.”

 He shrugs. “It is what it is. They are rather pretty. They are most typically associated with hope, devotion, and remembrance.”

 “And,” He places a hand on his heart, “According to some good ol’ folk tales, men in love would carry them around. If the color of the flower faded quickly, it meant their love was not returned. So,” Wag picked it back up, “If you wanted to listen to superstition, if the color lasts that means Mianite cares a whole lot about you.”

 Sonja scoffed. “Oh please, he is far too regal and orderly to fancy anyone, never mind a human. Or, well,” she flicks her tail, “someone mostly human.”

 “Imagine if he actually did, though! Tucker would be in for quite the competition. Champion of Mianite? Try Queen of Mianite.” Wag winked, holding the flower back out to her.

 Except it seemed that was the wrong thing to say.

 She held her breath, wilting before him “Yeah,” Sonja mumbled at the flower, “Tucker would really be in for it.”

 There was a pause.

 Wag eased back down towards the ground, getting comfortable. He tugged on Sonja’s sleeve to bring her down as well. Setting the flower aside, he pondered his next words. If he was going to pull out any wisdom, it better be now.

 “Things aren’t going too great between you two, are they?” Wag started, giving her the option to push the conversation aside.

 Sonja was silent for a second. Her ears flicked back and forth, agitated. Then she let out a sigh, deep and heavy.

 “No.”

 Wag nodded slowly. “It’d help to talk about it.”

 He wanted to help, wanted to know more, but he didn’t want to press. He wouldn’t dare push the boundaries when it felt like he was already on the brink of losing someone else he cared about. A two for two special on failing relationships would hurt.

 Biting the inside of his cheek, he reminded himself that this was about Sonja. Not his life problems. Hers!

 “It’s…” she cast her eyes around them. “Kinda heavy. Would you be ok hearing about it? I don’t want to bring your mood down.”

 Wag gently bumped shoulders with her. “Of course. I’m all ears if you ever need it.”

 Sonja opted for a smile, though it fell more towards a grimace. “Thanks.”

 She went quiet again. Wag could see the thoughts churning in her head, gears clicking and turning along.

 “I was.” She stopped. Started again. “I used to be.” Biting her lip, she took a breath. “There was a brief moment of time that I worked for the Shadows.”

 Oh.

 Oh shit.

 She couldn't meet his eyes, which is probably a good thing because he didn’t know what to say. ‘Sorry that you used to work for the people who wanted to kill all the gods and take over the world, or some stupid thing like that’? ‘Yikes’?

 ‘Cause yikes.

 “That’s, well, not what I was expecting.” He suppressed the urge to crack a joke. “And yeah, that’s pretty heavy.”

 Sonja drooped a little beside him, and he had to rush in the rest of his words.

 “But that’s not the end of the world. You aren’t working for them anymore, and even if you were you have been my friend and helped save so many people that I feel that it wouldn’t matter. Your actions say more about your character than who you follow does.” He hoped that curbed her fear and doubt, if only for a moment. And, because he couldn’t help himself, he added, “Hey, look at Tom. He’s a little chaos rat who followed a real evil guy and we still love him. The standards can’t get lower than that.”

 She huffed, and Wag counted that as a win.

 She took a peek at him. “You took that a lot better than Tucker did.”

 Suddenly, it clicks. She told Tucker, the ultimate devotee of Mianite, who had been willing to follow an evil version of his god just because he had the same name as his actual god. Tucker, who held strong to his beliefs and only turned on the Other Mianite when he went too far. Tucker, who’s devotion to Mianite came after little else, if after anything at all.

 Tucker would not only have been appalled that she faltered in her devotion to Mianite, but felt down right betrayed that she would work for someone who wanted to kill his god.  

 Tucker wasn’t Tom. He wasn’t willing to work for a god that was near unanimously seen as chaotic, destructive, and evil. But he would also be easily blinded by the misdeeds of his god after seeing only the good in him for so long. He wouldn’t kill his god for his friends, he wouldn’t save his friends from his god. If Mianite told him to kill, he would.

 He had killed the Ianitas under the Other Mianite’s command.

 So Sonja, regardless of how much he loved her, telling him she had been part of the Shadows?

 Wag could only imagine his reaction.

 Instead of making much comment on Tucker, Wag offered her a smile. “The Shadows don’t mean as much to me.” That got her to look up. “I’m- I was a wizard, remember?”

 Meeting her eyes, he saw the start of understanding. Then it struck him- he never told her how he became a wizard. “Sonja.” It was his turn to look away. “Do you know about the Cult of Athar?”

 She mouthed the words, face scrunching up. Silently, she shook her head. “The Cult of Athar was formed in the name of Athar, who was a god. Or close to one. They weren’t sure of that, at the time they formed the Cult, but he was. Instead, they thought he was a godly power that existed and was given to those who were worthy. In a way, they weren’t wrong.”

 “Was?” Already she was picking up on the ending.

 “We’ll get to that.” Wag picked at the grass in front of him. “The Cult was made of four mortal people. They studied, they trained, they crafted, they worked their assess off to get a glimpse of the Athar. Nothing worked.”

 Sonja nodded, eyes searching Wag’s face. Connecting dots. Her gaze lingered on his dark skin and endless tears of blood. It wouldn’t be long before she pieced it together.

 “One day, they found an ancient scroll.” Sonja scoffed at this detail. “Look, I know it’s cliche but this is my story I’m telling and you will suffer through any cliche moments in it. I will add a magical girl transformation scene in here just to spite you.” They held each other’s gaze for a moment.

 Then both burst out laughing. With a fond shake of her head, Sonja shoved him gently. “Who’s to say you won't anyway?”

 With a mock offended gasp, Wag dramatically clutched his heart. “How could you. I guess you don’t want the story of this freaky, weird cult of absolute dorks.”

 “No, no, I do. Please continue, Mr. Extravagant Storyteller.”

 Holding back a smile, Wag started back up. “In this scroll was a ritual. According to the scroll, if you performed the ritual you could summon down the god that possessed the power of Athar- who was actually called Athar so really calling the ‘godly power’ Athar was redundant. By calling him down you could duel him for the right to hold that power and use it yourself.”

 He trailed off now. It seemed, now of all times, that the reality of what he had lost sunk in. “By defeating Athar, who was a selfish, greedy god, they themselves could become gods among mortals. But they vowed to be benevolent, loving gods. Gods who would help humanity unlike that who came before them. They wanted to make a change in the world, to help build it up in the name of peace and prosperity.”

 “So they killed him?”

 Wag nodded.

 “You were one of them, weren’t you?” Sonja pressed gently. “And the rest of the wizards, too?”

 He nodded again.

 When he made no further comment, she spoke again. “I always wondered how you guys became wizards. I just figured you guys were born from, I don’t know, dragons or something. Something badass like that. Or maybe just one day you guys popped into existence all like, ‘Golly gee, there’s an open plot of land here, and I sure do feel like making something. You guys want to build? I want to build.’”

 Wag laughed despite himself. “I wish we were dragons. That’d be so much cooler than waltzing up to a god and telling him you’d be better at his job.”

 “No, I think that’s still pretty badass.” She slowly leaned over to rest on his shoulder.

 The sun was just starting to fall from its highest peak, making it just past noon. They still had a whole day ahead of them, if they pleased. But there was something settling about sitting here, with a friend, letting your secrets loose.

 “The point is,” Wag rested his head on hers, “That I’ve actually killed a god. I formed a cult with the intent of becoming godlike. You joining the Shadows? For whatever reason? I’m not that phased. Sure, the Shadows wanted to kill all the gods, even the nice ones, but I’m not about to go cherry picking which gods can and cannot live. You guys didn’t kill Dianite until he almost killed Ianite. Eye for an eye, y’know?”

 They were silent after that. Just sitting there, looking out into the mix and blend of savanna, plains, and desert. This didn’t fix anything for Sonja, he knew, but at the very least she knew she had an ally, a friend through all of this.

 “Thank you,” Sonja blurted. “It’s. I feel better knowing someone won’t ostracise me for my past.”

 “No one is going to ostracize you!” Rolling his eyes, Wag turned to look at her. “And if they do they’re a bitch and you didn’t need them in the first place.”

 “I don’t know. Tucker was really upset. I think I’ve burned any relationship we had.” She pulled her legs up to wrap her arms around. “I’m afraid that he won’t even be able to look at me. What would Jordan think? What would Tom? Or Dec or Champ? What would the gods?”

 Wag wrapped an arm around her. “It’s going to be a shock, for sure.”

 But the thing was, she was still their friend.

 “Jordan will take it with suspicion and unease, which is usual for him. But, for all that he will be wary, he will still be your friend. Honestly?” He squeezed her arm. “Your situation isn’t new to us, not exactly.”

 An ear flicked against his cheek. “What do you mean?”

 “Well,” Wag blew on it and it flicked again, “There’s Tom’s whole thing.”

 She lifted her head at this. A frown tugged at her lips. “What? What do you mean by that?”

 Ah, Wag had a feeling that she hadn’t thought about this.

 “Tom was the loyal champion of this world’s Dianite.” He was trying to lead her into the connection. It’d be easier for her to relate if she figured it out on her own.

 “So?”

 However, that meant she had to figure it out.

 “I suppose it’s a little harder to see from your perspective. Tom, the friend you guys all love despite his love of chaos, stealing, and murder,” He stressed the murder part, “was the champion of the god you had to kill to stop from killing Ianite.”

 Sonja blinked at him.

 Maybe it wasn’t as obvious as he thought.

 “Tom was loyal to Dianite above all else. He’d kill for him, he’d die for him, he was practically a lapdog at points, eagerly wanting to please him. Even when he failed him and was punished.” Wag shook his head fondly. “He would have killed Ianite if Dianite asked. He would have killed Ianite.”

 Tom would have done a lot of things for Dianite. The Shadows wanted to recruit him for his burning loyalty to who he followed and his willingness to kill and destroy.

 It was starting to click in Sonja’s head. Her frown became less confused and more thoughtful.

 “Maybe it was hard to see, since you were much closer to him than I was at the time, but Tom was set against all of you. Yet he still wanted to be your friend. He still wanted the best for you- when it didn’t involve him stopping his own chaos and fun- because he cared about you guys. In fact, he repeatedly stole from you and killed you, and he’s still your friend.”

 She was there. So, so close. Right on the edge of a breakthrough.

 “But Tom was,” she waved a hand, “Tom.”

 And there it was. The thing that she held her back. The thing that pulled at her conscious in this whole debacle.

 “So?” Wag wasn’t going to pull any punches. “Why are you holding him to a different standard than yourself? If he gets a pass, if he can follow someone who’s intent was destruction and death, just like the Shadow’s was, in a way, why can’t you?”

 Sonja was silent. She opened her mouth. Then closed it. Her eyes went wide.

 Gently, he squeezed her shoulder. “Jordan is still friends with Tom. Tucker is still friends with Tom. They both suffered at his hands, but they’re still friends. They still care about him. Just because you served, for some brief time, an entity that was just as evil as Dianite had been, at one point, doesn’t mean they’ll stop caring about you.”

 “What about Tom, then?” She straightened up, something stirring in her eyes. “What would he think?”

 Wag held back a laugh. “He wouldn’t care? Remember Nadeshot? Remember Cronus? He was friends with both.” Sonja gave him a look. “Oh come one, this one should have been obvious. Nadeshot told Tom he joined the Shadows, and what did Tom do? He had the us- the wizards- build him a fucking castle. The last person who would give a shit about you being part of the Shadows- having used to be part of- would be Tom!”

 Sure, she looked like she was about to punch him, but it was a little ridiculous to think that Tom would give a shit about something like that.

 Wag turned his head away. “Sorry, sorry. I shouldn’t be laughing. This is a very serious situation and I should try my best to stay serious.”

 “Yeah, you should.” Sonja gave him a light punch to the arm, “Asshole.”

 “But the thing is, we’re still going to be here for you. We’ve been to a whole other world, we fell through the void together. You’ve had our backs from day one. We’ll always have yours.” He ended with a gentle smile.

 Sonja settled back down, head on his shoulder once more. “That does make me feel a little better. But things won’t be the same. Nothing will, really.”

 That was true. They would probably look at her different, in a new light. They’d reconsider some things, rethink what image they had of her. But at the end of the day, they’d still be together.

 As Wag set his head back down atop hers, she whispered, “I guess things haven’t really been the same in a while.”

[neganandblake]

I think I liked you better when you didn’t have a knife in your hand, Peaches... Chapter 102 - Like the start of every hot-housewife p*rno I have ever seen

By mid-afternoon, Blake had deemed today as an utter wright-off.

The rain was lashing hard at the windows and a whistling wind seemed to blow an icy cold draft under every door, dropping the temperature inside the gloomy factory by several degrees.

There was no way she or any of the other Saviours could work in the garden for the rest of today. So instead, the caramel-blonde woman had relegated herself to doing something else that had taken her fancy on this cold, dark and stormy day.

And so, after heading back to her room an hour ago, ditching Danny around the corner (only needing him as far as the end of Negan's corridor to try and get a rise out of the dark-haired Saviour) Blake had hurriedly gotten dressed, flinging on a pretty flowery dress that tied at the waist and a pale blue button up sweater from her closet, and had soon, with a contented sigh, headed down to the marketplace and the stores, to pick up the items she required before bringing them back up here to her room on the second floor.

And now here she was….…making brownies.

Blake hadn't baked anything since waaaaay back before the start of all of this. And even then, that had been just a birthday cake for one of her colleagues at work, that David and his friends after coming home drunk one evening, had torn apart and devoured amongst themselves, before it had even reached her anyway.

Blake wasn't sure what had come over her.

Here she was…baking….like a good little wife. A sudden urge having overwhelmed her to make something sweet during this rare bit of spare time.

And so, after picking out the ingredients (perhaps a little selfishly) from the pantry, she had come up here and gotten to work.

Although Blake's intentions were not all that selfish, hoping that once she was done, she could go downstairs and share them with some of the lower-ranking Saviours, of which were mainly kids and older folk, in the dining hall later.

Her room had a small little kitchenette on one side, that Blake had not even touched since she had arrived here at the Sanctuary, the worktops gathering dust and the small powered oven never having even been switched on.

Even whilst living at Alexandria, Blake had only ever stuck to making easy dishes like pasta with sauce and eating heated canned goods where she could get it. After living out on the road and eating only basic scavenged rations and roadkill, finding even those bland foods too much for her stomach to handle.

Cooking wasn't exactly her forte, but hey, neither was gardening, and Blake had soon taken to that well enough.

But now the caramel-blonde woman was stood at her kitchen counter, mixing ingredients in a large bowl, as the window over to her right rattled a little with the carrying wind.

She pondered now what a winter in this place would be like.

The Sanctuary itself was large and built up, but certainly draughty at times, so it wasn't really a surprise to her that the wives had requested pants to wear. For really that wasn't that much to ask in this world, now was it?

Blake dwelled on the women a little now, wondering how their sore-heads had been this morning, and wondering whether Negan had been to see them as he had threatened to. She promised herself that she would make time to go see them later today and have a catch up.

But Blake, a little lost in thought, jumped now, as the door behind her was suddenly shoved open.

She hurriedly dropped her wooden spoon into the bowl with a small clatter and clutched a hand to her chest in fright, turning quickly to see Negan strutting through the door, without Lucille for once, but with a wide, arrogant, questioning grin, fixed onto his long, bearded face instead.

"Jesus, you gave me a fright," Blake breathed out, eyeing him with wide green orbs.

But Negan's own chocolate gaze flickered over her now, taking in every inch of Blake's appearance as well as the brownie ingredients spread out on the work surfaces behind her.

"Well this is where you are…" he growled, hovering in the doorway and lifting his chin as he surveyed her. "I have been searchin' high and low around this god-forsaken fuckin' place for you, and here you are all along, bakin' Daddy up some treats by the looks of it."

At his words Blake couldn't help but smirk, but even so, still rolled her eyes, turning her back on him now and picking up her spoon once again.

"These are not for you, Negan," she purred with a small sigh.

Behind her she head the door snap shut gently, as a pair of heavy boots crossed the room towards her.

She smiled to herself, in an instant feeling a warm trickle of breath on her neck and a possessive hand slip around her waist, pulling her backward into a tall and taut body.

"Hold your fuckin' horses there, Sweetheart," the dark-haired man murmured in an incredulous voice into her ear. "Cause', hell, this look like my goddamn shit your using to make them. So I think I am more than fuckin' entitled to take what I want."

Blake gave another hard sigh, stirring her ingredients and ignoring Negan's comment.

But it wasn't even another second later, that the leader of the Saviours spoke again, coming to rest his prickly bearded chin against her shoulder, as Blake leant back against him easily.

"Y'know I never had you down for the Martha Stuart type, Peaches," he hummed in a low voice, into her ear. "An' yet here. you. are, cookin' up a goddamn storm, and lookin' like the start of every hot-housewife porno I've ever seen."

Blake's lips twitched slightly, as she pulled her face back a little and turned her head, eyeing him.

"And I'm guessing you've seen a lot of them have you?" she uttered in an amused voice.

But Negan, looking as cocky as he ever did, merely widened his grin, showing off his set of white teeth as he did so.

"Oh fuckin' plenty, Darlin'," he chuckled, as Blake pursed her lips, tutting, as she turned away from him once more.

But from behind her, she felt Negan bounce slightly on his heels.

"But in fact, while we're on the subject of pornos," he said in giddy voice. "I have got Rick's ol' video camera upstairs that I thought we could make use of. Make a few home videos of our own if you catch my fuckin' drift.…"

But at once, Blake made a face, catching his drift indeed…

"Nu-uh, no way, Negan," she scoffed, batting his hands away from her as they playfully slid further around her middle squeezing at her tightly. "My job in building this big new world, is not going to be to make pornos with you, thank you very much!"

At this she heard Negan give a low grumbling growl into her ear.

"Suit your fuckin' self, Sweetheart," he tutted, suddenly and without warning, reaching around Blake now and swiping his finger into the bowl of mixture and bringing it up to his mouth, sucking it clean.

"Hey," she reprimanded, swatting at his hand with her own paw, as the dark-haired Saviour pressed his body further into her now.

"Mmmhmmm, now that shit tastes good," he mused, as Blake smiled to herself now, rolling her eyes a little.

God, he really could be such a pain in her ass sometimes…but even so, he made her happier than anyone else had made her in a very, very long time.

Her and David had never been like this….like two teenagers, caught up with each other, having fun…

With him it had always been serious…and barely even a few months into her relationship, David had moved in with her, almost treating her like his maid at times. It all getting way too serious, too fast.

So here, now…all this with Negan…it was like she could finally be happy, even in this screwed up world.

He made her feel protected and cared for, giving her everything she could ever want.

But why?

Did he really feel the same for her as what she felt for him?

It truly felt like it now.

But after years of being used and not seeing David for what he truly was, Blake didn't want to mess this up…overthink things…get in too deep and say the wrong thing.

So she held off, giving the tiniest of gulps now, and reaching for an awaiting baking tray, and easily pouring the chocolatey mixture into it.

Blake could feel Negan's dark eyes watching her every movement quietly. But the silence between the pair of them was not an uncomfortable one.

"You remember when you gave me this room?" she murmured conversationally after a long drawn out minute had passed them both by. "I thought it was some kind of trick at first…."

Negan grinned, pulling back a little and allowing Blake to bend down and place the tray of brownies into the oven, turning the dial.

"Pfft. Well I ain't a monster, an' I wasn' about to keep you locked downstairs in that fuckin' cell forever now was I?" he said in a carrying voice, as Blake shut the oven door, wiping her hands on a dishcloth and turning to face the dark-haired man now, pressing her back up against the counter top behind her. "I could see that it was never your fuckin' choice to come here in the first place. An' I wasn't about to stick you in a goddamn room with your asshole of a fi-an-ce."

Blake gave a small nod now, pursing her lips, remembering those less-than-fond memories.

"Well it's lucky you didn't…" she said in a quiet voice. "Because I think if David had gotten his way, I doubt I'd even be standing here right now. I'd probably be outside chained to that stupid fence with the rest of the dead."

That was the truth in her voice. Had things been different, had Negan not been here, Blake was likely be dead now by David's hand. And that alone was a scary thought.

But Negan, lowered his chin, pressing his own bearded lips together, looking slightly stern, the slightest of frowns darkening his brow as he pondered this.

"Well I'm fuckin' glad I made the right decision there…despite how much you smart-mouthed me to start with, Peaches," he said raising his eyebrows, and taking a small step into her now.

And at his words, Blake couldn't help but smile softly, parting her lips as she grazed his mouth with hers.

She kissed him gently, their lips parting and meeting again softly several times…making the most deliciously wet noises she had ever heard.

Before, giving a small sigh, Blake gently pulled away, turning back around in Negan's arms contently and making to clean up the kitchen counter top.

But Negan obviously had other plans, the caramel-blonde woman feeling him press a grin into her hair, as his hands skimmed down her thighs, before dragging them upwards once more, rumpling the hem of her dress as he went.

Blake, lifting her eyes dead-ahead of her now, gave a slow blink, knowing full-well where his hand was going to go to next.

And as predicated, it wasn't a second later, that she felt Negan glide his digits down between her legs, causing her to give a small gulp of delicious agony and lean back into him a little.

"Mmmm, well, shit….cotton fuckin' panties, huh?…" Negan commented in a low, excited, humming voice into her ear now. "I have got to say, Peaches, I am loving this new you…goin' from badass to wholesome in just a couple of hours. You are keepin' me on. my. toes, Sweetheart!"

Blake's lips curved into a grin, feeling his expert fingers now glide over her the fabric that lay in between her hot, wet pussy, reaching her aching clit and causing her to jolt slightly, giving a moan of need.

But Negan merely chuckled into her ear through Blake's mass of caramel hair, as her fingers tensed around the edge of the counter top.

God, she wanted him…

"You like that, Darlin'?" he growled out now. "Hmmm? Does my fuckin' girl want me to fuck her over this goddamn counter?"

And Blake could only manage a desperate nod now, as she closed her eyes feeling Negan reach beneath her dress and pull her panties down her legs in one swift and rough movement.

Fuck…..this had all happened pretty fast.

Not that Blake was complaining.

Negan's hand reached up again now, running his fingers over the sticky cream that coated her glazed cunt, giving a grunt into her ear, as his other hand fumbled at his own belt buckle hurriedly.

Blake parted her lips wetly, her stomach convulsing as two of Negan's fingers disappeared up inside her slit just for a brief moment, pumping into her, before he pulled them out, holding his cum-covered digits to her mouth.

"Lick it all up, there's a good fucking girl," he groaned out now, easing his finger into her mouth, as the sound of his zipper being undone carried though the room now. "Cause' I've got a feelin' you taste as good as those goddamn brownies."

And Blake did as she was told, hurriedly sucking both of Negan's fingers clean, one-by-one.

She tasted herself, acidic yet sweet, like oranges and honey, and gave a small moan as Negan removed his fingers from her mouth, hitching up her dress a little from behind.

"Bend over for me, Peaches," came another whisper from the dark-haired Saviour behind her now, which caused Blake to gulp, all the breath suddenly leaning her body, as she felt Negan position his stiff cock at her hot, wet entrance.

The pair of them really were instantiable…

Both of them with equally high sex drives, and equally desperate for one another.

But Blake obeyed Negan's request, lowering herself forwards against the kitchen worktop before her and presenting her ass for him, feeling his slide his dick in and out of her folds a couple of times precariously.

Before the caramel-blond woman gave a grunting whine, frowning slightly, as she felt Negan stretch her wide and enter her fully.

His hands were on her hips now, as he wavered for a brief moment, giving an audible gulp, obviously appreciating the sensation of being buried into her up to his hilt.

But it wasn't a couple of seconds later that Negan eased himself out, before slamming himself into her once more, causing Blake to close her eyes, letting out a harsh breath of air.

"Shit," Negan uttered bluntly, his breaths already ragged in his throat before they had barely begun, but even so, he persevered, pulling out before slowly thrusting into her again….and again….and again…..

Fuck….this was heaven.

Or maybe instead, a delectable sort of hell…with Blake bent over and Negan well and truly fucking her brains out.

She gasped out as Negan thrust into her harder now, building momentum.

The room was filled with hot pants, the sound of Negan's chinking belt, and the hot, slick sound of Negan's dick coated in Blake's juices as he slid it in and out of her tight pussy.

Her hand and elbows were pressed flat to the surface of the worktop and her eyes on the faux-marble top, dusted with flour, getting her pretty, floral dress a little messy.

But right now Blake didn't care, as another moan of utter pleasure left her pink and swollen lips.

Sex with Negan was not like any sex she had had before.

This was dirty and hot, and everything Blake had ever fantasized about

And the caramel-blonde woman couldn't help the frown that twitched between her brows, opening her mouth in an o-shape of utter pleasure, feeling her orgasm building.

As much as she loved taking control, sometimes it was certainly nice for Negan to just take exactly what he wanted from her…just bending her over and fucking her, unable to help himself. Wanting her just that badly.

"Nnnngggfff," he breathed out, Blake hearing the dark-haired Saviour lifting his closed eyes to the ceiling, as a gulp slid its way over his Adam's apple, obviously trying to hold off on cumming, as long as he possibly could.

But Blake couldn't.

And it wasn't even a minute later, that she whined out, her walls clenching around Negan's cock as her head fell forwards, her dragging across the floury surface beneath her.

Negan grunted at the sound she made, his grip on her hips and ass tightening, as he leaned in towards her slightly.

"Unfff, I'm gonna cum, Darlin'..." he murmured thickly, but the words had barely left his mouth, and so with Negan holding his dick firmly inside her, he soon sent stream upon stream of hot, white cum up into her cunt.

Both of them stood there for a moment, propped up by the counter now, breathing hard.

Before Negan, letting his hands slide up to Blake's shoulder, moved aside a small strand of blonde hair, pressing a kiss to her smooth shoulder.

At that feeling, Blake, still catching her breath, and trembling slightly on her feet, smiled gently.

Happy.

And it was just a second or two later, that Negan slowly eased himself out of her, as Blake stiffly pushed herself up once more, wincing a little as she did so.

They had to stop doing that, she knew it.

She was not taking any form of contraception right now and Negan cumming inside her was becoming a very regular occurrence right now. Twice in one day today, for example. And she just could not risk getting pregnant. Not after two miscarriages anyway. Not in this world.

Blake made a mental note to herself to go see Dr Carson later today or tomorrow.

She bent slightly, sliding her white cotton panties up her thighs one more, as she glanced over at Negan, who was sat now, on the edge of her bed, hand pressed to his un-stiffening cock and his eyes closed.

"Everything ok?" Blake mused, folding her arms across herself bemusedly, as she eyed him. His member still slick and glazed with her juices by the looks of it.

But Negan merely opened his chocolate eyes slowly, grinning over at her contently.

"Oh, it. is peachy fuckin' keen, Doll-face," he said reaching out his free hand and beckoning her over towards him.

Blake, smirking to herself, did as he wanted, padding over towards him on bare-feet, her front now completely covered in flour , as she came to straddle him, sitting down onto his lap, as his hands moved to her waist, sliding around her middle.

The dark-haired leader of the Saviours gazed up at her now, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. A look of utter awe passing over his long, bearded face.

No one had ever looked at Blake like Negan did, and this alone made butterflies swirl inside her.

She wanted so much to stay here forever with him now….

Just him and her.

"You really are a fuckin' queen, you know that, Darlin'?" Negan mused, his eyes taking in every inch of her face now, as Blake placed her hands gently to his leather-clad shoulders.

She licked at her lips slowly, smiling.

"I really wasn't before I met you, y'know," she answered in a quiet voice, a blush creeping up over her chest.

But Negan, reaching his hand up to Blake's face, swiped his thumb over her cheek, brushing away a little flour that lingered there, giving a sigh.

"Oh I bet you fuckin' were, Peaches…" he murmured now, gazing into her eyes. "I just don' think anyone gave you the fuckin' opportunity to shine."

Blake felt a lump appearing in her throat now, as she dropped her gaze from Negan's for the tiniest of moments, before staring up into his eyes once again.

"Thank you," she said in a voice barely louder than whisper now…..

… realising, truly and utterly, that she was so, so desperately in love with him.

Finally admitting it to herself...after all this time.

But still not quite plucking up the courage to admit it to Negan himself yet….

…instead, smiling and kissing at Negan's bearded lips once more.

There she was, caught in heaven now…both of them so wrapped up in one another…

Kissing gently at the other's lips….

…..neither of them noticing the strong smell of burning and smoke that had suddenly filled the small room.

Suddenly a sharp twinge hit Blake's nose and she pulled back from Negan, her eyes widening as she realised just what she could smell and see.

"Shit!" she cried, pushing herself from the dark-haired man now, readjusting her dress and getting hurriedly to her feet.

Running over, Blake quickly grabbed a dishcloth, opening the oven and tugging the tray of brownies out, placing them down onto the counter top, her other hand wafting away the steam and smoke as she did so.

Luckily, as the smoke cleared, taking a good look at them, they didn't look too bad. Perhaps a little caught around the edges, but even so, still pretty good.

She heard Negan behind her give a stiff grunt, easing himself from the bed and doing up the zipper on his pants and rethreading his belt buckle.

"Now those smell good enough to fuckin' eat, Sweetheart," he uttered out in a low growling voice, coming up behind Blake now and reaching over her shoulder for the tray of dessert, but Blake slapped his hand away.

"I told you, Negan," she scolded in a high-pitched voice. "These aren't for you."

The tall Saviour gave a grumble now and Blake could almost feel him pouting over her shoulder like a moody teenager.

"Well that's fuckin' gratitude for you, ain't it…" he said taking a step or two away from her now, as she glanced at him over her shoulder coyly, watching as the dark-haired man leaned back against his long legs and pointed at her, raising his eyebrows aloft in a teasing manner. "I provide you with shit, an' you give me nothin' in return. That how our entire relationship is gonna be, Princess?"

There it was, their playful banter returning again….causing Blake's lips to twitch slightly.

God, he truly did make her happy in so, so many ways.

But the caramel-blonde woman, brushing down the front of her dress neatly, just gave an easy shrug of her shoulders.

"Maybe," she purred out. "But you knew what you were getting into…"

And with that, she threw Negan a playful wink, before turning back to her brownies.

"Like I told you the first time we fucked, Negan.." she continued in a carrying voice, without looking around. "I like to be on top."

Behind her, at her words, she heard the leader of the Saviours let out an appreciative chuckle, dragging his hand down his stubbly bearded face and giving a heavy whining sigh.

"Oh, I know you do Darlin'," Negan murmured. "An', hell, I ain't gonna argue with that."

There was a short moment of silence where Blake heard Negan cross the room, heading over towards the door now.

"I've got a meetin'," he informed her. "But I will see. you. later, Peaches. Hopefully boucnin' up and down on my dick…as per fuckin' usual, seein' as you like it on top."

And Blake could only smile to herself now, rolling her eyes hard as she replied.

"Bye, Negan…" she uttered back in warning return, hearing the door open and close behind her, leaving the blonde queen, alone once more.

[nerdtrash-iteration]

(Re)watching Doctor Who: series 4

Just finished series 4 of Doctor Who on my rewatch. It’s been about 7 years since I have seen these episodes. I was really looking forward to returning to this series and it did not disappoint. Series 4 (Tenth Doctor) 4.0: Voyage of the Damned This might be my favourite of the Christmas specials. I love the setting, the tone, many of the side characters. All the deaths felt meaningful and I’m genuinely so sad about Astrid not being a companion :( 4.1: Partners in Crime This is a fantastic re-introduction to Donna Noble. Her time with the Doctor in the previous Christmas special has really matured her. Love seeing a villain who also has a sonic device. And Donna and Ten are FLAMES together. 4.2: The Fires of Pompeii Whup, speaking of flames. I have mixed feelings on this episode. I find many of the side characters kinda ehh and not really into the aliens here. But seeing how compassionate Donna is broke me with her desperately trying to save someone. Also the ending really brought here and Ten closer together: “Sometimes I do need someone to stop me. Welcome aboard” 4.3: Planet of the Ood YIKES did Donna get some of the darkest episodes. I think I found the Ood more creepy on my first viewing. Now I’m like “Yaaaas kill the shitty humans that are enslaving you” in 2019. Again this is another example of Donna’s deep compassion, even how she speaks to the first Ood she meets. And yeah it’s really messed up learning more about Ood biology and how they have been lobotomized. 4.4 + 4.5: The Sontaran Stratagem + The Poison Sky I have mixed to positive feelings on this episode. I love Martha back and taking no shit. I think the first half of this story is great with the threat of the poison gas. Seeing all the gas through the streets at the end really terrified me. It felt a bit too real. Donna’s temp skills are super sharp here. On the other hand, eh I’m not that gone on Rattigan nor the Sontarans as villains. Supergenius kids are really annoying to me and the Sontarans feel way too basic for me. Also the pacing felt off with the whole cloning and hypnotising thing. But still a decent story overall. 4.6: The Doctor’s Daughter Oh boy, so many people hate this episode. I don’t but I do think it’s kinda a hot mess. First of all I do think the premise is very interesting. A war that has gone on only a week but feels like hundreds of years due to miscommunication and overzealous reproduction. I really like how kind Martha was to the Hath and I was genuinely sad when the one she was helping died. I think Jenny is fine as a character but I kinda hate how they treat her. She was a massive loose end, having another Time Lord roaming around the universe. Also SHE WAS BORN WITH WINGED EYELINER, IT IS RIDICULOUS. 4.7: The Unicorn and the Wasp I’m quite fond of this one. Mostly for it being a loving homage to Agatha Christie and the portrayal of the woman herself. I love the scene where she and the Doctor go around everyone before finding the murderer and Donna keeps saying “Was it them????” Not really into the villain or the monster, felt a tad contrived. But I loved the ending, showing the human race never stopped reading her work. It felt like a first draft to what would be Vincent and the Doctor in series 5. 4.8 + 4.9: Silence in the Library + Forests of the Dead I remember liking this story on my first viewing but damn I truly love it now. I love the side characters and how real they feel. I love how many subtle horror moments there are in it. The ghosting is so tragic and disturbing. The cliffhanger at the end of the first episode is horrifying. “Donna Noble has left the library. Donna Noble has been saved”. I love all the details of the world of the story, with the virtual reality and why the Vashta Nerada are there. Only complaints would be that I don’t feel they were consistent enough with the “stay out the shadows” rule. 4.10: Midnight This story is pretty damn brilliant. It was one of my favourite Doctor Who episodes, up there with Blink. I don’t think I’m quite as enamoured with it after finishing the previous story. Since it was a two-parter I was obviously more attached to the world and the characters. But this is still fantastic. Such a terrifying and tight script. A great villain and a haunting ending. 4.11: Turn Left FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I had forgotten how messed up this episode was. I love how far-reaching the consequences were. And how oddly close to home it felt. Especially with the racial scapegoating. And the ending with Donna’s sacrifice and the music :( My only complaint is that I really didn’t like how Rose was portrayed here. I understand she is supposed to have grown up since we last saw her but she just felt really unrecognisable to me. 4.12 + 4.13: The Stolen Earth + Journey’s End I have rather mixed feelings on this finale. I love seeing all the companions working together. Especially the last appearance of Harriet Jones. Rose is so much more like herself here than in the previous story. Love what Martha does with the Osterhagen key. I think the first episode holds up a lot better than the second, when we don’t know much about the plan. But eh I’m just really not fond of it as a finale. I’m not into the Daleks most of the time and their plan here just feels way too huge in scale to take seriously. I don’t see how humanity could just go back to living their lives after the Earth was moved. What they do to Donna feels far too quick (even though I guess that was the point) and I’m not a huge fan of the Meta-Crisis Doctor. I like the idea of the Doctor and Donna being tied together by fate, I just feel the end result was a bit disappointing.

Overall despite some dodgy storylines, I loved revisiting this series. Donna is a fantastic companion and we got some really excellent stories for her and Ten.

[andiesmu-archive]

CAN’T BE PERFECT ➝ GRANBINDDIE

TAGGING ➝ Grant McCarthy, Robin St. James, Addie Morgan.

LOCATION ➝ Grant & Robin’s house.

TIME FRAME ➝ 4/21, evening.

WARNINGS ➝ None.

NOTES ➝ Addie goes to Grants to try and talk Robin up to Grant’s parents. It doesn’t really work. 

ADDIE MORGAN

Addie was not really the most eloquent person, and she certainly wasn't someone that most parents loved, but for some reason Grant's parents had always taken well to her, and she cared enough about him to try and help him out when they seemed to not be showing the same kind of affection for his fiancée. She'd been there enough times that she didn't feel the need ring the doorbell, and instead let herself in. It was Caroline she stumbled on first, and grinned at her, nudging her with her elbow, "What's up, kid?" she asked, "Where is everyone?" Caroline directed Addie to the kitchen and she pulled on her best sweet smile as she entered the room. "Martha, Grant." She greeted to the two elder McCarthys as she made eye contact, "Good to see you. Grant told me you were visiting, I had to come and say hi." She grinned and then made her way to the shorter blonde in the room and wrapped her arms around her, giving her a hug. She knew that hugging Robin wasn't really something she'd normally do, Addie didn't even like giving hugs, but she'd do just about anything for Grant, and that meant putting on a show for his parents.

ROBIN ST. JAMES

This whole week had been exhausting. It was fortunate that Robin was a nice person, and that it took a lot to make her lose her temper, because there were plenty of points throughout the week that she could’ve lost it with Grant’s parents. They didn’t have to like her, but they also didn’t have to be so obvious about it. Honestly, she hated thinking it, but she was kind of excited for them to leave, and as she heard the door opening, she was really hoping it’d be one of Grant’s siblings coming to take them. Or at least to take their attention. It surprised her some to see Addie, especially without Regan by her side, but Robin flashed her a bright smile once she’d walked into the room, surprised once more by the hug. “Hi!” She grinned, happily hugging the taller girl back. It wasn’t like they were all that close, but Robin could treat anyone as if they were her best friend, so she was pretty pleased. “What are you doing here? Not that I’m complaining,” she quickly added, stepping back to lean against the counter. “It’s a nice surprise. Is everything okay? Or are you just here to see Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy? I think you came just in time. They’re leaving, um…” She turned to Grant, the look in her eyes hopeful. “When are they leaving again? Tomorrow?”

GRANT MCCARTHY

Grant felt bad for forcing Robin to deal with his parents. He wanted them to meet her. They were getting married. She was going to have his baby. They had to meet her, but they had been absolutely horrible to her over the past week. So much so, that he was just ready for them to leave. His parents didn’t really like anyone he had ever brought around. Except Addie. But that was because she was a firefighter that liked women and wasn’t trying to steal all of their son’s money. But Robin wasn’t try to do that either, but for some reason, they didn’t believe her. Either way, Grant was relieved to see Addie and super happy that she was laying it on pretty thick with that hug she greeted Robin with. “They’re leaving on Tuesday, babe,” he groaned, trying not to show just how annoyed he was with the fact they still had a few more days with those people. “We’re so happy to see you,” Grant’s mom said in Addie’s direction, causing him to roll his eyes a little. “What do you think about the new addition coming into the family? Did you tell him he was crazy?” Grant sighed as he stepped forward to drape his arm over his fiancée to offer her some comfort. “I warned you, Addie,” he shrugged, shaking his head.

ADDIE MORGAN

“Everything is fine,” Addie said cheerily to Robin. Truthfully she was dealing with a little bit of emotional turmoil of her own, but this was a welcome distraction, and it meant hopefully helping her best friend out. “I just wanted to say hi, and to see you two. It’s been too long since I got some girl time with you,” she beamed at Robin. Though Addie was sure her idea of girl time was vastly different than the colloquial meaning, she figured it sounded like they were the best of friends. Addie really did like Robin, she didn’t know her well, but she didn’t have any dislike for her, it was just hard to get to know her considering the tense relationship between her and Regan. Turning her attention back to Grant’s parents, Addie smiled again. “Crazy lucky.” She beamed without missing a beer. “I mean, Robin is going to be a great mom, I’m so excited for them. Did you guys know that I’m engaged to Robin’s sister?” She asked, holding her hand out for them to see the ring. “Talk about a family of great genes. That baby is going to be so lucky to have two parents who care so much about him or her. Plus, the St. James girls, are all so strong and independent, which means if they have a daughter she’ll probably be a total bad ass, kind of like her aunt Addie.” She was probably laying it on pretty thick, but she didn’t care. Robin and Grant didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that. Telling him he was crazy for getting Robin pregnant made her blood boil a bit and just encouraged her to climb so far up Robin’s she’d make flowers sprout out of her ears. Which probably wasn’t even that difficult to do considering it was Robin.

ROBIN ST. JAMES

As far as Robin was aware, she and Addie had never really spent any ‘girl time’ together. Other than their brief conversation at she and her sisters’ birthday party, although she wasn’t sure if that counted or not. She tried to hide her confusion as she looked up at the other woman. “That sounds awesome,” she smiled enthusiastically, nodding her head. Something was off here, Robin couldn’t quite figure it out, but she was trying not to question it. It was probably just Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy’s presence throwing her off still. They brought bad energy. “Right, Tuesday,” she nodded, turning to smile in his parents’ direction. “I knew that. I guess I’m just getting my days mixed up. Baby brain, you know?” His mother quirked a brow. “Have we outstayed our welcome?” Robin quickly shook her head. “Oh, no, definitely not. We love having you here, right, babe?” She edged a little closer to Grant, almost retreating into his side as she brought a hand up to clasp the one he’d hung over her shoulder. She wanted the focus to shift to Addie, since they seemed to actually like her. They were evidently more interested in Addie, too. Not that Robin minded. “Oh? And what does the other one do?” Mrs. McCarthy asked, a subtly smug look in her eyes, “Flowers also?” Robin chewed on the inside of her cheek, staying quiet, though it stung to hear them call Grant crazy because of their situation. She managed to bite her tongue, adamant that she wasn’t going to argue with them again, but squeezed onto Grant’s hand for reassurance.

GRANT MCCARTHY

Grant knew he was lucky to have a friend like Addie. He didn’t really have a lot of friends, but the people he did pick to stick around in his life were all loyal and great, just like Addie was. She didn’t have to show up and talk up Robin just because he’d asked her to, but she was his ride or die, so it made sense. She would do anything for him, the same way he would do absolutely anything for her as well. He couldn’t help but smile as his friend defended him. He didn’t know if it would go too far with his parents. Robin had tried as well, but it was still appreciated. “Robin likes having you guys here. I wish you’d show my fiancée some respect,” Grant offered up honestly. He was done playing this game. This game where he pretended not to hate everything his parents said about Robin. He’d warned them enough that he wasn’t going to stand for it. He raised the hand that Robin had intertwined with his and brought it to his lips, placing a small kiss on it. “Just like Robin, Regan owns her own business. Real estate, right?” He questioned in Addie’s direction. He wasn’t completely sure, but he thought he was right. “I’m sure you and the sister have known each other longer than a few months, right?” Grant’s dad questioned, shooting a glare in his son’s direction. Grant shrugged his shoulders. Still not really giving a crap. “Best few months of my life.”

ADDIE MORGAN

Addie had never been the most reserved, but she knew that flying off the handle at the sheer rudeness his parents were showing would be a bad idea. She’d dealt with a shitty mother her whole life, but she’d never had to bite her tongue and stop herself from telling her she was a shit head. “Real estate, that’s right.” Addie nodded. “And their other sister runs a non profit, and one is a hotel CEO. They’re all very successful.” Addie said, trying to guide the subject back in another direction. “Besides, have you seen Robin’s arrangement? She’s like an artists. It’s really incredible. Her assistant is dating another good friend of mine, she tells me all the time how in awe she is of the things Robin creates. Their whole family was raised to work hard, I really envy that. Having parents who are so supportive and loving. That’s another reason she’ll be such a good mom, she knows that a good mom looks like, that’s not something many of us can say.” She said, her eyes flashing to Grant’s mom as she did. Her happy facade was slipping a bit, it seemed, and she couldn’t help but throw something of a verbal jab, though subtle as it was. “I’ve known the family for about 9 years now,” she said happily, she knew the question from his dad was another dig at their relationship, “But I guess it happens differently for everyone, right?” She said, her smiling turning to Grant now. “I mean, look at Jess and Dom, they only knew each other a few months when they got married, didn’t they? And now it’s been ten years.” She really didn’t know Dom and Jess that well, but hoped that an example of another couple that rushed into things couldn’t hurt their argument. “Robin and I have been friends for a bit, not as long as Grant and I, but a bit. And they’re so happy together, who would have thought anyone could get this grump to smile more than once a month, right?” She laughed, nudging him gently, “Can’t you just tell how happy she makes him. She’s like a ray of sunshine.”

ROBIN ST. JAMES

It hadn’t taken too much to have Robin’s happy, chipper guard slipping when Grant’s parents had first arrived, and she could feel it quickly doing the same now. Because not only were they now insulting her, they seemed to somehow be insulting her sisters, too. She sucked in her cheeks, forcing herself not to say anything, and simply listened to Addie talking about them, the realization that this had been set up finally sinking in. Her free hand reached into Grant’s pocket, with Robin pulling out his phone and opening up his texts with Addie. Now it made sense. “Um, excuse me?” His mom frowned. “Did you just look at his phone? That’s private.” Robin chewed on her lip as she slipped the phone back where she’d gotten it. “Grant and I don’t have secrets from each other. He knows my passcode, I know his. And I was just checking the time.” She lied, her tone much less cheerful than it’d started out. She didn’t want to let them stress her out to the point of a breakdown again, but she was definitely growing less and less patient with them. Especially his mom. Although she smiled in Addie’s direction, appreciative of the help, she couldn’t bite her tongue anymore. Not hearing his father jabbing at the length of their relationship. Or referring to Regan as ‘the sister’. “No, they can’t tell that,” Robin laughed almost sarcastically, making eye contact with his mother. “And even if they could, even if they could see how ridiculously happy we make each other, they’d choose to ignore it, because they’ve already made up their minds about me. Isn’t that right, Mr. and Mrs. McCarthy?” She clenched her jaw, feeling herself growing heated.

GRANT MCCARTHY

This was all becoming too much for him. Listening to his parents jab at the love of his life, while his best friend tried her hardest to fight them off. He loved Addie, he really did, but her efforts were getting them nowhere. His parents were crazy people. He glanced over at his mother as Addie snarked at her, trying not to chuckle to himself at his best friend’s comment. It was funny and his mother deserved it. He shook his head when Addie mentioned Jess and Dom, trying to signal her to stop. Those were two people his parents also didn’t like. Especially Jessica. “You mean Caroline’s mother and the other man she calls Dad?” Grant wanted to react to his dad’s words, but suddenly he felt Robin’s hand in his pocket and she was looking at his phone. It didn’t take much for him to realize she had figured out their plan. It had been a nice try, but Addie’s hadn’t helped as much as he’d hoped with his shitty parents. He nodded his head as Robin spoke. Everything she was saying was the truth. His parents didn’t care what anyone said. Their minds were made up. “I’m going to get you guys a hotel room. I can’t force Paige, Reese, or Miles to take you in and I can’t let you stay here. She’s pregnant and you keep disrespecting her. This is her house,” he groaned, turning to look at his best friend. “Thank you, Addie. For trying. But they’re not worth it.”

ADDIE MORGAN

Addie didn’t accept defeat very easily, but she also wasn’t going to keep pushing when Grant and Robin seemed to have already thrown in the towel. “Well, I’m sure Roman could help you out with a hotel room, though I’d probably not mention the reason you need it, she might stick them in that room that had the bed bug infestation last week.” Addie said with a grin and then shrugged. She turned back to them one final time and frowned. “You know, Grant has always done everything you’ve ever wanted from him, and who he spends his life with is his choice. Whatever your problem is doesn’t change that, and like it or not she is pregnant, which means that she’s going to be a part of your lives forever now. If you want to be miserable about it, there’s nothing that any of us can do to stop you, but you just look like a couple of kids throwing temper tantrums.” She said, and then rolled her eyes, whatever standing she had with his parents was probably gone now. “Robin, I’m sorry you have to deal with this,” she said, giving the blonde another hug, though it was more genuine this time. “And I can’t wait to meet my future niece of nephew.” She smiled at her, then turned to Grant. “Sorry man, I’ll see you later. Good luck.” She shrugged again before turning to walk back to the front door so she could get back home to her own fiancée.

[sirrobin126]

This is going to be long as hell. 

Okay, so ages ago @thiievesandbeggars​ gave me a massive ship hc ask meme thing and I’ve finally done it, after adding bits and pieces every so often while I was studying. Most of it is going to be under a cut because it is, honestly, hella long.

Also, yeah its for Mionel in case you somehow didn’t guess that already.

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle?

Martha’s a very affectionate person and quite a touchy person. She doesn’t hide that or hold herself back when she cares for someone. Lionel is…new…to the concept of selflessly giving physical affection that leaves him vulnerable. That being said, although he doesn’t initiate cuddles to begin with, he is very into them when they happen. Martha can often find herself glancing at the clock on the wall and like half-regretting starting a Lionel hug when she had things to do that day. But she never really regrets it because he hugs like he hasn’t touched another person in years, even if they were together that morning. Martha swears up and down she saw him wipe a tear away once after an extended cuddle period but Lionel insists he just had a bit of kryptonite in his eye.

Who is the little spoon?

Martha, she is little and likes being the little spoon. She was used to it with Jonathan, who of course was a big strong loving protector man, and she just feels safe and comforted that way. I wanted to be cheeky and say Lionel, but I feel like he’s just too into looking at Martha, too set on protecting her from the outside world, and too uncomfortable being that vulnerable to turn his back on her.  

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?  

Look, from the very moment they decided that maybe they could become a thing, and Martha indicated that she was open to a real relationship with him Lionel had to physically restrain himself from immediately pulling her close to him and kissing her like the world was ending. Every so often when they’re together Lionel will just get this wave of, ‘this is her, she’s here, there she is!’ and if they’re somewhere where it’s not ideal to start making out he will be in a state of absolute suffering and hold her hand, or touch her waist or trace his finger over her shoulders, because, there she is, with him.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

I mean, Lionel is a very dirty old man, with a very varied sexual history, and a very skewed sense of “the appropriate” (see: naked at work and fucking Lex’s girlfriend). He wouldn’t do anything that made Martha uncomfortable, but he does linger at the boundaries of acceptable behaviour.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Like I said, a Lionel cuddle is difficult to start, and even more difficult to end. He’s not like, good, at judging how regular humans interact with each other, and he is not great at being a reasonable person. It’s fine when they’re sitting on the couch both reading or whatever and cuddling, but it’s not quite as fine when Martha has to get to the farmer’s market in five minutes but she just heard Lionel calmly exhale and felt his shoulders drop in relaxation which he never does and damn that’s nice but also if I don’t leave right now Helen McGregor is going to get to those good Rutabagas and take them all like she always does.

Who gives the most kisses?

They both like to, but if we’re talking not necessarily sexual kisses, its Martha. She kisses when she sees him. She kisses when she leaves. She kisses when she has to get up and go to another room. She kisses when she just feels a swell of affection or emotion come over her. Lionel loves this, because its not like she’s trying to get anything from him, or trying to make him do anything, she was just doing something and thought she’d let him know that she cares about him and then move on. Its not a super familiar feeling for him so he is disproportionally charmed by it.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

Probably discussing life philosophies and morality, or at least, that’s what they seem to spend a lot of time doing. They also like going to the theatre (Martha likes musicals, Lionel likes the opera, and they’ll both watch plays quite happily). Also book club. (Their book club is only the two of them, they alternate who gets to choose the book, they have a lot of variety)

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?

I wanna be cheesy and say the garden where they had that first convo but like, if Lionel has the choice between being outside and not being outside, he will choose the latter. So, I imagine they’ve set up a joint study for them both so they can both work on their individual stuff and still be together, and there’s like a bookcase and a nice couch where they can sit when they’re not working.

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other?

Lionel. Although, I don’t know if playful is always the right word to describe it. Cause that implies that its just a joke, and while he may play it off like that, if Martha took him up on it he would be immediately dtf, like just, on a moment’s notice.

How often do they get time to themselves?

Not often, which is why they have to find spaces they can be in. They both have jobs that are really intense on their time, although Lionel has a bit more freedom in that regard because he can choose to take days off at a time if he wants (and go stalk a teenager to find out what they know about aliens). But even though they’re officially a thing now, Lionel still keeps a little bit of distance from her working life to avoid giving her detractors any more ammunition to throw at her about being in the pocket of big business, which, is so absolutely not true that it’s laughable. Martha may try to find compromises and may treat business v politely, but if they tried to manipulate her into going against the people’s best interest she would shut that shit down quick smart. If anything, big business (Lionel) is subject to her demands way more. But, she’s concerned about what they would say, so Lionel doesn’t turn up to her work anymore than anyone else’s spouses (despite his natural tendency to butt in and interfere everywhere he can).

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?

No. No, no. Even though they’re a pairing of the man who can’t help but have children, and the woman who wants to adopt every sad looking child that walks past her, they’re both past the point where they can spend another eighteen years raising a child. Also they have very different ideas on what having children is for, you know: love and support vs power struggles and passing on a legacy.

If so, how many children do your muses want/have?

Martha has one, Lionel has had four that we know of.

Who is the favorite parent?

Martha is everyone’s favourite parent. I mean, come on.

Who is the authoritative parent?

Authoritative or authoritarian?

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?

Martha is tough but fair int his department, she’ll always want Clark to go to school, but she will take into account how tough things can be for him sometimes and cut him some slack. Lionel is more of the Spartan method, if you can sneak out of school and not get caught, go for it, excellent. If you get caught though, he won’t swoop into to save you unless it going to negatively affect the Luthor reputation.

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?

Martha isn’t constantly baking for nothing you know.

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children?

Support or brag? Lionel turns up to Lex’s chess matches the same way Lucius turns up to Draco’s quidditch. Because he thinks he has some skill at it and wants to reap the benefits of that in a place where he can be recognised for his son’s achievements. He’s a bad dad.

Who goes to parent teacher interviews?

I mean Lionel went to them but goddamn, someone trying to tell him how to raise his kids? That did not go down very well. He did listen though in case there was anything there he needed to throw back in Lex’s face when he was thirty during an unrelated argument. He is not a good father.

During middle school, Martha of course was like, deep in the pta, and she ooooowns the fucking bake sale/school fete. Alice from down the road tried to take the crown a few years into Martha’s rule. This would have been fine with Martha if Alice had been nice about it when she decided that she was going to take care of the bulk of the organising and give Martha “a little stall for your cookies and things”. But Alice wasn’t nice about it, and Alice hadn’t communicated with her and had ignored Martha’s further questions. So it just couldn’t be helped that Martha made her stall bigger than the allotted space, because her question about space was never answered. She couldn’t help if it was decorated to the nines, more than any other stall (Jonathan spent a sleepless night glueing, and hammering and painting the stall’s wooden beams). She couldn’t help if she baked her fucking ass off and made confectionary creations the population of Smallville had never even heard of. She also couldn’t help that when she arrived at the fete, Alice’s organisation skills were poorer than average and Martha happened to have on speed dial every bouncy castle, entertainer and activity provider, with whom she already had a good relationship. She couldn’t help that everyone referred it to as Martha’s event. She couldn’t help that Alice was so embarrassed that she didn’t even show her face at the next pta meeting and meekly accepted whatever job Martha deigned to give to her the next year, which Martha gave her with a polite smile and excellent line of communication of course.

Martha later told Lionel that story when they were working together, as a metaphor for a business thing she was trying to argue with him about. Martha was a little embarrassed of it when telling it, but Lionel had to be excused after hearing how Martha absolutely destroyed her competitor and could be found running cold water over his face in his private bathroom before he could even think about facing her again.

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

Lionel is the more dramatic and emotional one so obvs him, when like, the mildest inconvenience happens to him, he stubs his toe and threatens the doorframe. But when Martha raises her voice, shit’s gotten real, and you best go over exactly what you’ve done to push her to the edge.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

Lionel’s not usually one for empty threats but goddamn he knows nothing better is ever going to happen in his life than Martha Kent. He’ll bluster and give his speeches and talk about how his philosophical point of view is right and correct and other opinions?? Never heard of them?? and he’ll say I might as well leave but he doesn’t even touch the door handle.  

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

Martha. She’s not one to go over the top, she’s not one to overreact, so if she says she’s going to leave, things have probably reached a real breaking point. She’s probably thought it all out and considered it inside before you ever hear about it.

Who trashes the house?

Depends whose house they’re at, neither of them would trash the others stuff. I can see Lionel’s office just littered with paper and shit that he’s torn up in frustration. But Martha’s more likely to turn to the oven and angrily bake for about 24 hours until she calms down so the house is just covered in passive aggressive cupcakes that Lionel won’t eat out of spite.

How often do they argue/disagree?

Not actually that often. The points I made above are honestly rare cases with them. Like, when it comes to bickering then yeah, all the time, you can’t have two such different people, who are also very clever, together, and not expect half their conversations to be a debate of some kind. But those kinds of debates are playful, they’re not the end of the world and they’re also littered with Lionel making puppy dog eyes at Martha that she won’t concede his point and Martha loudly wondering how a man who is so smart can be so goddamn stubborn and single-minded. If it’s something important that Martha feels strongly about then Lionel will usually defer to her opinion and do his best to fight for whatever it is she wants, but Lionel’s an opinionated guy too so when their fundamental views of the world clash that’s when there are teething problems.  

Who is the first to apologise?

Martha is the first to apologise if she thinks he was really hurt by the things she said. Lionel is the first to apologise if he’s had a little time to let her viewpoint sit with him and he’s come around to it. Which is a privilege he bestows on Martha and Martha alone. He’s never apologised first to anyone else in his life unless he had a motive behind it. Lionel also apologises biggest and with flowers, whereas Martha’s is more of a frank face-to-face thing that acknowledges his feelings but doesn’t budge on her beliefs. Lionel would rather forget the whole argument and move along without getting into it.

Sex:

Who is on top? Who is on the bottom?

Bold of you to assume either of them would limit themselves to one position or the other. If you asked Lionel he’d say he was a top, if you asked Martha she would tell you that it was a very inappropriate question and she wasn’t going to answer. In her head she would say top as well. In reality they do much more sharing of both positions.

Who has the strangest desires?

Look, the strangest desire between either of them is that Martha looked at a smarmy, arrogant, casually ruthless, workaholic mess of a man who had done his level best to build his company at the explicit detriment of her town and neighbours and still went “Oh fuck, he’s hot.”

Any kinks?

Have you see Lionel? You take one look at that man and tell me he doesn’t deserve to be kinkshamed just for the general way he is. Lionel has both a praise kink and a love of being threatened. He likes a bit of ruffage, he likes to be tied up, he likes to tie people up. He’s not averse to hair pulling, he likes potentially dangerous settings, and anything with the threat of being caught thrown into it. He’s a dirty old man.  

Who’s dominant in bed?

In general, Lionel, because he’s got that whole ‘I am the deciding factor in the events of this world and master of the universe’ thing going on that he’s pretty committed to. With a lot of partners he’s very dominant, but if you know how to play Lionel he can switch to sub so fast you get whiplash. You just have to be able to follow through with your dominance or Lionel gets very smarmy and condescending and generally becomes an arrogant nightmare to deal with. Martha and Lionel don’t play into a lot of the dominance dynamics tho, it’s not usually been Martha’s speed.  

Is head ever in the equation?

If I ever publish my fanfiction you’ll know it is.

If so, who is better at performing it?

Lionel has had, a lot, of practice.

Ever had sex in public?

Lionel definitely has. But the closest the two of them came together was when they got drunk and made out in the coat room of a very important fancy party that Martha was super nervous about. Also on Lionel’s private plane, which Martha considers public but Lionel doesn’t.

Who moans the most?

Martha is very vocal, to Lionel’s absolute delight. Lionel moans too but he’s a bit more of a talker, to the surprise of no-one ever.

Who leaves the most marks?

Martha's got longer nails, so she occasionally leaves claw marks down his back which Lionel is very into. Lionel can give hickeys like a goddamn teenager, and he’s a territorial show off, but he doesn’t do it often because he’s above that thank you very much.

Who screams the loudest?

You better believe he’s doing his absolute best at all times to make her scream.

Who is the more experienced of the two?

Come on, he’s been a serial philanderer and an absolute horndog for decades. She had flings before, but honestly, Martha’s been with the same man since she was in her early twenties.  

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

They would both scoff if they ever heard that question asked, and each would assume the answer to be obvious. However, for Martha, this is a lot more adventurous and wild than she’s used to so she considers it the former. For Lionel, he doesn’t usually get this intense level of intimate romantic connection during sex so he definitely considers it the latter. They think they’re on the same wavelength.

Rough or soft?

Depends what they feel like. When rough, Martha gets to play into that dangerous aura Lionel’s got going for him, when soft, Lionel gets to consider what an angel she is at least once per second.

How long do they usually last?

Hey, I’m not going to say anything, but they are getting up in years.

Is protection used?

God, you know, for a man so cautious and meticulous in his planning, so paranoid and careful, he sure does have a lot of illegitimate children.

Does it ever get boring?

No, how could it when the whole relationship always feels new. They only have a certain amount of time together, and they’ve lived without each other for so many years that every word, every feeling, every touch is as exciting as ever. Also, Lionel voice: Martha Kent is a beautiful angel and I should be shot if I ever don’t think that in her presence.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

The plane was pretty strange for Martha. Lionel’s giving it a while before mentioning any other strange places he would be into. His office for one, and also he has this thing about maybe churches, but he’s not going to push it.

Sleeping:

Who snores?

Lionel used to, but he got a very expensive operation to stop that because goddamit no ones gonna think he’s not perfect all the time. Martha snores but only after she’s been drinking, something Lionel found out about the first time he had to put her to bed drunk, because she’s so tiny but she was so difficult to move and he found it equal parts hilarious and adorable.

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

Oh my god, if you think Lionel is going to ever not sleep in the same bed as Martha when he has the opportunity then you do not know Lionel Luthor.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

Lionel likes to think of himself as a solid oak tree, lying there while Martha curls around him, which is true, sometimes. Lionel can also be classified as a bit of clinging vine, wrapping his arms around her as they falls asleep.

Who talks in their sleep?

Lionel is really bad for it. No-one has told him that he sleep talks, which he does, badly, but usually he falls asleep after everyone else so unless you wake up before him you don’t hear it. He will mutter anything from non-sensical sentences, to entire monologues and have fights with opponents about the stupidest thing. He doesn’t know he does it, he wakes up mad at people for dream reasons but he doesn’t know that he was actually fighting them. Martha mentions it off-handedly one day that he said something funny in his sleep and Lionel is just like ??? w hat. And Martha’s like, yeah you know, you were talking about this thing. And Lionel just, fucking, goes into this spiral of have I been giving away my plans for years? What is this betrayal of my own body?

What do they wear to bed?

Well, according to the comic, Lionel defs sleeps shirtless, if not entirely naked (This is the hill I will die on). I think he sleeps in nothing but expensive silky boxers, or silk pyjama pants. I think Martha wears cute patterned pyjamas.

Are either of your muses insomniacs?

Lionel has the most trouble sleeping, but he kind of ignored that it was a problem and started to think of it as a feature of his superhuman personality. He just started kind of working instead of sleeping and called it a day. He convinced himself that he had moved beyond regular sleep patterns and went to sleep late and woke up early every day, not quite connecting it with the giant crashes he would have every so often that he would put down to substance or alcohol related reasons, not considering that the crashes happened to coincide when work was particularly stressful and big deals were getting done. This was because his stress got worse than normal during those periods and his body had to finally give up and crash. Lionel just figured it was a product of business and that it would make him stronger, because he is an idiot with no capacity for self-reflection. As he got well into his 50s, he started sleeping in more because he still had trouble falling asleep but because his business was so stable and set up he just decided that as CEO he got to have later mornings than everyone else. That allowed him to finally get the amount of sleep regular people do, and also it feeds into his superiority complex and vanity that he is allowed to do something his employees can’t.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

Martha was kind of horrified by Lionel’s terrible sleep patterns and the fact that he didn’t seem to see a problem with it, so she originally gave him some herbal remedies and tried to get him to like meditate and stuff, but when she realised that wasn’t going to work, she had him go to the doctor. So now he has a pill he can take if he’s having a particularly bad night, but they often sit untouched in Lionel’s bedside drawer because what, he’s going to sleep when he has work to do? I think not.

Who wakes up with bed hair?

Martha. It’s not like ridiculously bad, but its certainly a lot more wavy and unruly than when she combs and straightens it for the day. She doesn’t mind spending a little bit of her morning doing her hair, she doesn’t wear a lot of makeup or jewellery so doing her hair is kind of a nice morning ritual that she can spend time on now that she doesn’t have to be out in the field at a godforsaken hour anymore.

Lionel’s haircare routine happens at night, because he wants to wake up and essentially be ready to go. That wild look his hair has is actually carefully cultivated to look like that, and is helped by a humidifier he keeps in the bedroom, and the silk sheets and pillowcase he has is as much for his hair as his body. He also has a leave in conditioner and oil for his beard. Unfortunately when he has short hair it’s significantly harder to tame and so he will wake up with a few stubborn cowlicks that stick straight out from his head that he either has to leave like that or wrestle with (depending whether he is good or evil at that point)

Who wakes up first?

Martha, she’s been living on a farm for nearly forty years, and she’s got her morning “get ready and make breakfast” rituals set in. She just feels more ready to face the day when she’s had an early morning, like there are so many more hours of sunlight in which to get things done and be productive. When she sleeps in she always feels like she’s missed out on something.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

Martha was always used to making breakfast while Jonathan was setting up for the day, and she likes cooking so she continues to do it. The first time she made breakfast in bed she made two plates of food and brought them back up and they sat in bed and ate them and although Lionel winced he didn’t say anything about food that might get on the silk sheets. So she does it sometimes and every time Lionel is very thankful and charmed but also like, these are very expensive silk.

Lionel has before made a big production out of breakfast in bed tho, like on Martha’s birthday he had a very fancy breakfast made at an upscale restaurant at Metropolis and transported to Smallville and brought it up to her on an eating tray that sat on a mini-table and there was a rose on it and a very nice looking, suspiciously present, cloth napkin that went over her legs (and the silk bedsheets). The most surprising thing of all was that he managed to wake up before her and set it up. Of course, he just didn’t sleep the night before but he’s not going to tell Martha that, and anyone else who helped is sworn to secrecy. He thinks it was a perfect surprise but Martha did wake up whilst people were still downstairs and Lionel was furiously whispering trying to get everything together, but she was kind enough to pretend to be asleep and wake up astounded at Lionel’s entrance.

What is their favourite sleeping position?

Lionel is him on his back with Martha curled up next his chest. Martha’s is on her side as the little spoon, with Lionel’s arm over her.

Who hogs the sheets?

Asleep and half-asleep Martha is nowhere near as patient and considerate as awake Martha, so if she gets cold during the night she will just pull as many blankets, or a Lionel, towards her as she needs. Similarly, if she is too warm, she will have no hesitation to throw the blankets off her and either pile them on Lionel or throw them on the floor.

Do they set an alarm each night?

Martha doesn’t anymore but Lionel does, his alarm clock is a radio that plays a Metropolis news channel for him to wake up to and immediately get the latest news and information about whats going on that he will need for the business day, even on the weekends.

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

Lionel hates watching television in the living room so there’s no way he has it in his bedroom. He’s a big fucking snob and he definitely thinks he’s better than tv. He hates that there are some things he kind of likes to watch (discovered in the long hours fixing clocks and setting up charities in his guest house at the mansion). He considers these quiz shows and murder mysteries beneath him, but if Martha’s watching he’ll act like he has no choice but to sit down next to her and watch as well. The only thing he watches voluntarily are the news and maybe nature documentaries, if he’s had a few drinks. He can’t watch history or science documentaries because he just becomes the embodiment of the “i know more than you” meme. Drunk Lionel is definitely the type to talk to his tv.

He’s also the biggest hypocrite about plebeian interests because he is an internet hound. He’ll turn his nose up at people that get all their info or entertainment from the news, but you try and pry that phone out of his hand, and see what happens. He’s always checking for updates and alerts on his phone and computer.

Who has nightmares?

Martha has always had a pretty standard mix of good and bad dreams. After Jonathan died they got worse, and often it was dreams that didn’t seem like nightmares at the time. But, just at the point in the dream where she was talking with Jonathan, or they were working the farm together, or they were having their anniversary dinner and he apologised for being late, she would wake up and for a moment she would still be in the world of the dream before remembering. Every time it was like losing him over again. It was the hardest immediately after his death. Then, as time went on and she started seeing Lionel, she found that although she kept having these dreams, it wasn’t as crushing to wake up from. She started seeing it more as Jonathan still watching over her, coming to visit her while asleep, joking about whatever was going on in her life and bitching about whatever thing Lionel had just done. Martha is still torn between thinking that it’s just her subconscious finding a way to work through problems she’s having, and really believing that Jonathan has found a way to still be with her.

Who has ridiculous dreams?

Lionel’s dreams are hectic as hell. He’s always late, he’s always chasing something, and he always has shit to collect. He’s had a lot of fucked up shit happen in his life, the feelings from which he’s repressed the fuck out of, so his subconscious feeds him a cocktail of high octane emotional anxiety. However, because his brain is a dick, it associates these emotions with the most whack scenarios that Lionel will never take seriously. How exactly is he supposed to connect the guilt and fear born of real serious actions and behaviours, to the fact that in his dream he and Richard Nixon have to collect every VHS copy of Jane Fonda’s original workout series and goddamit they’re already behind schedule! He has tried to induce lucid dreaming before, so he can make use of sleep time instead of wasting it like everybody else, but part of the process included keeping a dream journal, and after the fifth time he had to write down that he tried to get Darth Vader’s autograph (despite never having seen a Star Wars film) he just got too paranoid that someone was going to read about his stupid dream cycle and somehow use it against him. He burnt the book. Lionel also doesn’t have nightmares often, his regular dreams are stressful enough, but when does they are pretty goddamn harrowing, so, on par, he’s mostly okay with the ridiculous stuff most of the time.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

Martha is the most active sleeper. Lionel’s a bad sleep talker in the first hour of sleep and closer to when he wakes up, but for the rest of it he’s dead to the world. He has such a tough time getting to sleep that when he’s in that rem cycle he is fucking out of it. Martha is a lighter sleeper and so she’s more likely to spread out or roll over or push Lionel closer to the edge and leaving him with a little sliver of space and she’ll have most of the bed for her own even tho she’s usually right up next to Lionel and the rest of the bed is untouched territory.

Who makes the bed?

Martha, or Lionel’s cleaner. It depends whose house they’re at and whether Martha managed to get to it before the cleaner could. Martha hates making any more work for the cleaners, and anything she can do herself she does. She begrudgingly acknowledges that in a place the size of the Luthor Mansion a cleaner is probably a good idea, but she feels very bad if she’s not doing her best to do all the stuff she can to reduce the cleaner’s work. Lionel does not understand, because he’s paying for someone to perform that service and that’s their job that they’re getting paid to do. Also, he probably wouldn’t care if the bed was made or not, unless it was for like the express purpose of taking someone to bed and having the room all done up nice and impressive. Otherwise it’s like, I could be working.

What time is bed time?

For Martha, bedtime used to be 9:30pm, only now she’s has a very bad influence on her time, and her work starts later, so there’s no set bed time anymore. She and Lionel will stay up much later than they should, but can you blame them.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

Lionel, defs, he’s the grumpiest in general so the very idea of having to sleep makes him mad.

Work:

Who is the busiest?

Lionel is a workaholic with a huge number of interests and schemes that he needs to keep an eye on. He’s always got at least three things he’s actively working on in his head whenever he’s doing a single task. He also makes a habit of physically going out to places and doing things that a CEO doesn’t need to do. He could just delegate it to people while he sits in his office, but Lionel spends as much time out of the Luthorcorp building as he does in it. Martha finds her work very rewarding, and she works hard to help the people of her state and community, but she’s been around a bit now and knows the importance of a home life balance in addition to work. Lionel’s still unfamiliar with the concept.  

Who rakes in the highest income?

Look, I’m gonna give you three guesses.

Are any of your muses unemployed?

Nah, are you kidding me. Lionel goes weird if he’s not employed, boy starts fixing clocks and bringing out his multitude of very random but inexplicably mastered hobbies. Catch him in the studio painting full size realistic portraits and recording his one man jazz album as he asks you to pick a card to show off his excellent sleight of hand. Martha is also now reluctant to retire or leave her job, because she really feels like she can make a difference where she is. Also, she’s good at it.

Who takes the most sick days?

Ironically, Lionel. Like he’s the biggest workaholic and works works works forever. But he’s also an obsessive fuck who needs to take off days at a time to figure out why this teenager that his son is tangentially friends with is in a specific place and what they know about aliens. He also needs to very dramatically show up in places where people don’t expect him (when he could have easily sent an email) to complete his enigmatic image.  

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?

Lionel. He owns the company. He’s always been able to decide when turning up to the office is less important than intimidating or seducing someone somewhere else.  

Who sucks up to their boss?

;) ;) ;)

What are their jobs?

Lionel is the CEO of LuthorCorp, Martha is a Kansas State Senator

Who stresses the most?

God, they’re both stressers, Martha when she’s worrying about Clark and whether people are in danger or emotional turmoil, she’s very empathetic and cognoscente of the different things people are going through. On the other hand tho, Lionel’s body has known no moment of relaxation in his life, he gets massages not as a luxury but as a necessity or he’d snap like a brittle toffee next time someone brought him news he didn’t like.

Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

They enjoy them for the most part, there’s always stress and frustrations that come with it, and Lionel’s job does have an inexplicably high risk of the CEO being hurled across various rooms, but ultimately, Martha’s in a position to affect change and put her education to good and effective use, and Lionel is his own boss and has power, money and influence on his side.  

Are your muses financially stable?

They’d better hope so because Lionel is not going back to a lower Momme count on his sheets, he’s earned it dammit.

Home:

Who does the washing, takes out the trash, does the ironing?

Lionel hires a lot of people to do the jobs he doesn’t want to. Pretty much all housekeeping in the Luthor Mansion is handled by staff, to Martha’s embarrassment. Like, she understands that this is a contract and people get paid to clean and do housekeeping but she can’t stand the idea of making more work for them so she always keeps anything she’s doing at the mansion pretty tidy so as not be like Lionel and just leave things around, knowing they’ll be put straight for him. She won’t hear of him hiring anyone for the Kent farm or the place in Metropolis tho. And she has gotten him to do housework before, just by being matter of fact about it. She was baking once and noticed that the bin was full so she asked him to take out the trash like it was an everyday occurrence (you know, like regular people) and Lionel was halfway to the garbage bins outside, holding a trash bag before he stopped and was like ‘wait - I have people for this’.

Who does the cooking?

Martha is a happy baker, a stress baker, an angry baker, a bored baker, the woman likes to bake and she is damn good at it. She’s also just an excellent cook in general so she does a lot of cooking for the two of them. Of course, she doesn’t do it all the time because she has a demanding job that often causes her to stay late at the office, so Lionel’s chef also does a good part of the cooking.

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

Lionel is lucky not to be banned from her kitchen without supervision. He treats cooking like a battle and the kitchen like a chemistry set. He got very pissed that cooking wasn’t something he was immediately good at, even though the first time he tried he was attempting stuff way too advanced for someone who probably hadn’t set foot in his own kitchen since 1983. After he failed the first few times he read a hell of a lot of books and did a lot of thorough research (you know, like a normal person) and made it his obsessive priority to get good. Yet, he still doesn’t have the magic touch Martha does and he won’t believe her that she just does what feels right. He could be a cordon blue chef by now and Martha ‘the recipe is more of a guideline’ Kent’s food would still come out better.

Who is messier?

Lionel, because he has the luxury of being messy and knowing that it will all be put straight by the time he comes back to it, but all his important and classified stuff is sorted and locked up of course. He’s not necessarily a naturally messy person tho, and if he didn’t have someone picking up after him he would get a lot neater quick smart because he doesn’t like living in a chaotic environment even tho he himself embodies chaos. Martha knows there is more important things in life than spending a lot of time cleaning up, and she has the patience to put things back as she uses them instead of rushing off to do something else immediately. She tries to tell Lionel its more efficient that way but he just can nOt expend those extra few seconds to clean up after a task, he has a new thing on his mind and he needs to get to it.

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

Lionel may be messy, but hell if his suits are going to pay the price for that. They’re going to be handled well and treated like the precious materials they are.

Who is the prankster around the house?

Martha, just because she can get away with it. Lionel never suspects her, she’s the one person he has a complete blind spot to when it comes to expecting tricks or betrayal, so she’s the one person who can get one over on him just by pretending to be in earnest. Of course he reacts in the most betrayed and offended fashion. One time Martha made him that fake food, like eggs and chips that actually turn out to be peach yoghurt and apples and Lionel eats it and just, gives her the most puppy dog hurt, lost expression. But Martha won’t acknowledge that it was a trick. She’ll just be like, no I just think you need to eat more fruit, even though it was obviously meant to look like eggs and chips.  She catches him playing a very sad song on the piano later when she’s in earshot.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

Martha will and then she’ll get flustered and have to retrace her steps from when she came home and then find them beside the spice rack, or under a couch cushion. She eventually finds a bowl to put her keys in and puts it on an accent table near the door so that she won’t have this problem anymore. She has to train herself to put it there everyday but soon enough it becomes routine. Lionel, who has very different connotations for sets of keys in a bowl, does a small double take every time he sees it for the first little while, he doesn’t tell Martha why. Lionel never loses his keys because he has a driver to take care of that for him.

Who mows the lawn?

Lionel has mowed the lawn exactly once. Martha made a passing comment about the classic housewife looking at the hot young gardener or pool boy trope, and Lionel kept teasing her about it. Eventually, when the latest housekeepers were on vacation, he took the opportunity to make the joke a reality and Martha sat, sipping a cocktail and laughing as Lionel, in jeans, with a flannel tied around his waist and no shirt on mowed the lawn. She enjoyed herself and he was very happy about that but mowing the lawn was the most boring experience of his life. He didn’t think to bring headphones for music or radio, and the noise was too loud to hear himself think. He just kept looking over at Martha the whole time to stop himself going haywire with the repetitive work. Martha tipped him $20.

Who answers the telephone?

Lionel is constantly getting called, and constantly answering the phone. If its not Martha’s cell, its usually safe to assume that its for Lionel, as different people are trying to reach him at different places. Martha doesn’t really like talking on the phone, she likes talking to people in person and always gets nervous something is going to get miscommunicated over phone conversations.

Who takes the longest to shower?

Are you kidding me, that man needs a hell of a lot of time to apply every cream, shampoo, conditioner, and then aftershave that he has, in the correct order, for maximum aesthetic and image. He has a waterproof radio in there and Martha bought him a set of shower pens so he would stop running out every few seconds to write something down and then getting back in. His shower set up now looks like another office, if its a waterproof shower gadget, Lionel probably has it.

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?

Nope. 

How many cars do they own?

Martha doesn’t know, and she doesn’t really want to know. She only needs one and if he even thinks about buying her another one she’s donating however much he’s going to spend to every charity within a fifty mile radius. Lionel has twelve. 

Do they own their home or do they rent?

They own their various places. Martha after having paid off the mortgage with Jonathan over about thirty years, Lionel just buys things when it strikes him. 

Do they live in the city or in the country? 

They move between places, because Smallville is Martha’s home base, and Lionel has a lot of history and investments in the town so they do still stay at the manor, and the farm, even though both of their jobs are based more in Metropolis, so they also spend quite a bit of time at Lionel’s apartment in the city. 

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

They’re both city kids at heart but Martha loves her home, and she feels protective and defensive about her town. 

What’s their song?

Not in-universe but: ‘Two less lonely people in the world’ (all Air Supply songs are Mionel songs, I don’t make the rules, don’t @ me)

Of course, if you actually asked them then, ’Salut d’amour’ Lionel would tell you, ‘La Fleur Que Tu M’avais Jetée’, he’d think to himself. Martha’s would be a lot less symbolic, it would be something that reminded her of a time with Lionel, something playing on the radio early on in their relationship, or song in a musical they went to see that Martha saw him enjoying and thought about how handsome he looked when smiling. 

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Lionel pines something awful. He is insufferable to be around when Martha is out of town on business. Martha texts him all the time tho, because she likes to comment on things she sees and the people that she meets. When Lionel’s away on business he emails practically every hour, you’ve seen that man’s emails, always about five when one would do. Martha is better about the separation than Lionel, except at night. She really hates sleeping alone, whereas Lionel is really used to it so it doesn’t bother him as much. 

Where did they first meet?

So many years ago in the front of Jonathan Kent’s pick up truck. Nobody would have known it at the time, but they would both have one of the most profound impacts on the other’s life. 

How did they first meet?

In a high octane situation where both of them were worried about whether the boys in their arms would be okay.

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

Lionel has expensive taste. And he likes to buy expensive things. If there’s two versions of the same thing he wants to buy, but one is $1000 dollars more expensive, well, say hello to your new fancy toaster Mr Luthor, it has 8 toast slots and 100 settings and you’ll never use it but, by god, you own it.

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?

Is this a trick question? The man’s a compulsive show off. 

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

Martha. Not because she’s mean, or because she finds people hurting themselves funny. If he actually hurt himself she wouldn’t laugh. But like, it’s Lionel Luthor. He’s not supposed to trip, and if he does, he looks at the floor like its been plotting this very moment for months and he’s going to revenge himself upon it. Lets face it, that’s funny. 

Who pays the bills?

Much to Martha’s chagrin, she does have to concede that its kind of nice not to be worrying about how she’s gonna stretch the account month to month, but she doesn’t let him pay for everything, and gets very uncomfortable when he buys too expensive things. Lionel just gets frustrated that she won’t let him pay for more, he has all this money damn it, how else is supposed to show his love? Open and honest communication? Bah, unnacceptable. 

Do they have any fears for their future?

Yes, like, absolutely. They both know how quickly shit could go downhill if there isn’t someone (Clark) combatting the threats trying to take the city and town down all the time. 

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

Lionel, by a mile. He likes doing fancy rich people things, and he’s good at showing affection via buying shit, so this is kind of like a romantic and thoughtful version of saying I love you, with money. He just likes to see her happy and treated like a queen. He would buy her a goddamn throne to sit on if he ever thought she’d accept that. 

Who uses up all of the hot water? 

One of these people is rich and has been inconsiderate for a very long time, one has not. I’ll let you work it out. (For real tho, Lionel has a back up water heater for sure)

Who’s the tallest?

Okay well this isn’t a hc, more of just a fact that Lionel is taller and Martha is tiny and its adorable. 

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

Martha. Lionel, of course, has entered other people’s showers, but usually as he’s in the process of seducing (and probably having another illegitimate child with) them, so the first time she popped in the shower and actually started, you know, showering, he was caught off guard. Like, um, you- you know I’m in here right. He quickly understood the value of such intimacy, but he still does tend to get handsy. 

Who wanders around in their underwear?

Lbr, everyone at the Luthor mansion has seen more of Lionel than they ever should have. If he’s fixating on a thing sometimes he doesn’t get dressed before working on it, meaning that at particularly stressful times you could often walk into a room and see Lionel in just a robe and boxers (if you’re lucky), speaking orders into a phone. Of course, he wouldn’t be caught dead like that for an outsider to see, only family and staff (who all have some, probably illegal, non-disclosure agreements binding them), and he would demand to be notified immediately if the mansion was getting a visitor so he could put on a suit that costs more than their house. 

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

Martha, she’ll chuck on music as she’s working on stuff and have fun with it. Lionel doesn’t sing to the radio, but he does conduct an invisible orchestra when he’s listening to his records. 

What do they tease each other about?

Lionel teases her about her farm habits and vocab she’s picked up over the years, she teases him about how he doesn’t understand how regular people live. He teases her for how she never sees the plot twist coming in a tv show, and she teases him about how paranoid he got the time the waitress gave him his coffee and he seriously considered it might be poisoned because, and she quotes “Her smile was off, she smiled at me funny.” “Lionel stop looking at her. I can see you using your peripheral vision. Oh my god, put the cup down before they ask us to leave.”

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

Oh my god, Lionel has the widest fashion sense possible, any time Lionel is not dressed in a three piece suit and overcoat he is wearing something disastrous. Like, credit to the man that he found a look that both works for him and is socially appropriate in the workforce, but his non-thousand-dollar-suit fashion sense can be daggy as fuck. Like, have you seen that man not in suits? His comfortable clothes are terrible sweaters and bad pants (Pls don’t get me started on John Glover’s own terrible pants). If Lionel wasn’t oppressed by the world’s sense of what is appropriate fashion, he would be unstoppable. Flare trousers? Collars as high as they will go? Does it make me look like a dramatic fuck, check, then yes. 

Lionel is 0-100, he is either dressed to fucking destroy in suits that cost more than your house, or he looks like the middle class dopey dad from a bad 90s sitcom. And if Lionel wasn’t so concerned about how people perceive him and how his look affects other’s attitudes he would channel that instinct for thousand dollar clothes into something truly hideous and I would be living. 

Do they have mutual friends?

No, they come from a very different circle of friends. They also have very different experiences of “friends”. For one thing Martha’s friends aren’t usually considering a plot to kill her in the back of their minds when they see each other. 

Who crushed first? 

Lionel has been gone since the day he first set eyes on her, he just didn’t know it at the time.

Any alcohol or substance related problems?

Lionel drinks more than he should, and he’s done a lot of stuff during his life. He was a high flying businessman in the eighties so you do the math. He also smoked well into the nineties until he quit, not because of all the health PSAs, but because he didn’t like that his craving for a cigarette kept taking him away from work (also someone jokey said the tobacco controlled him once and that spun around in his head until he couldn’t take it). Lionel liked to do addictive things to prove to himself how strong he was when he kicked it, which was honestly playing with fire because he has a very obsessive personality but, fuck, you try and explain that logically to him. Good luck. 

LuthorCorp buildings also now have very draconian smoking rules, not because of health and safety or government requirements but because Lionel is petty and full of spite and he better not see you light up, and better not smell so much as a whiff of tobacco on you. He was presented with a conscientious business owner award from the Metropolis anti-smoking lobby which of course he accepted graciously with lots of platitudes about civic duty and moral compasses, and inwardly mocking every person applauding him. His picture hangs at their office which he enjoys immensely. 

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

That’s neither of their style really, they prefer to drink in the house rather than go anywhere. If anyone’s drunk at 3am its probably Lionel in the study with a half finished bottle of whiskey dictating his ideas for his novel into a tape recorder, or shouting the correct answers at the contestants on wheel of fortune. His novel ideas are incomprehensible, but his WoF answers are usually correct. Once he even rang into the station when the host gave a false answer and forced them to issue a correction. He had no recollection of this event the next morning. 

Who swears the most?

Lionel. I think Lionel went through a phase of being like, swearing is beneath me, it is only for those of a low and uncouth vocabulary, and I shan’t be one to use it. But then like, he just has too much anger and too much spite to be able to contain in polite words, and so I think he absolutely swears a lot to himself in private because shit goes wrong and he is not about that, but he still contained it when talking to people so they wouldn’t think he’d lost control. 

Martha had to curb any swearing in the house because she had a very fast, smart child with sensitive (if not super at that point) hearing who could pick up and parrot anything she said back at her. They never heard the end of it the day Jonathan broke his wrist fixing the barn roof and quite understandably swore black and blue. Clark ran around the house for days after, cussing up a storm and it took a concerted effort to get him to stop. 

[eurydiceh]

i watched h*athers at the other pal*ce last night and i have Thoughts

first off i actually,,,,,,,, don’t remember that much from off-bway 2014 h*athers cause i haven’t watched it in so long lmao but the most noticeable changes were from blue to a song called you’re welcome. mcnamara and duke are not on stage for that one, they get the car keys and leave veronica stranded w/ kurt & ram. the song is not much better off tbh. it’s even more uncomfortable but in a more predatory way i guess so it highlights how she’s....... literally about to be raped but there are still some jokes??? and it’s........ not the time to expect laughter like idk it personally made me very uncomfortable. and yEAH it’s supposed to make u uncomfortable ofc but then they’re throwing in jokes and it’s like friends we had this problem 4 years ago can we. not.

they added a song for he*ther d*ke which i was soooooo excited about!! look. i didn’t love the song. maybe if i listen to it more i’ll get into it but i feel like it was just this huge spectacle and kinda thrown in and also there’s this part where she rips the green costume off and reveals chandler’s red one. despite not loving the song, t’shan KILLED IT and i’m still not over her tbh lmao she was my fave part of the show last night i think. aLsO it added a biiiit more to the character since before she was mostly treated like a villain and now we see a girl who just Really wants to be liked and suffered substantial abuse from her “best friend” and now is just kind of....... free.

they kept d*ad g*y s*n which like. disappointed but not surprised. 

the cast 

c*rrie h*pe fl*tch*r as veronica - i’d listened to a couple of audios of her before and i wasn’t too happy that they’d removed veronica’s high notes but watching it live, it didn’t seem like a huge problem at all tbh. she was an amazing veronica and definitely has very powerful vocals but in my opinion she wasn’t particularly memorable tbh?? i just don’t feel like she was really able to make the character her own and a lot of it felt very derived from barrett but that’s just me.

j*mie m*sc*to as jd - i actually really liked his jd!! he had the look dOWN. he started out maybe a bit more cute-sy and hesitant (like, almost told veronica she had the wrong cup when she gave chandler the bleach & was almost kinda shocked like ‘oh shit i killed someone’) but grew veeeery dark and manic and manipulative and was revelling in moments like after d*ad g*y s*n and sh*ne a l*ght and was always like ‘ok who we gonna kill next!!!’ and was very creepy in general though the musical did prompt you to feel bad for people like him as well as kurt and ram which. it shouldn’t & i don’t bye!

- like quick lil note i understand veronica is in distress but i hate how she sings that they could’ve turned out good when they aLMOST RAPED HER like they didn’t deserve to die but come on!!

j*die st*ele as he*ther c - mixed feelings for this one tbh. i didn’t love her, i’ll start by saying that. her voice is definitely very powerful and very fit for the character, but i feel like she played everything as more comical than anything else and some of her meaner moments felt a bit forced. but she was absolutely hilarious in the me ins*de of me and all the other moments after she died lol. not my favorite but she wasn’t bad either. did have some more memorable little moments like her dance in me ins*de of me was gOLD.

t’sh*n will*ms as he*ther d - i!!! stan!!! i think she was my fave he*ther d tbh??? she’s a fucking powerhouse and she made the character pretty sympathetic, especially towards the end. looked genuinely concerned when she said v looked like hell. in the finale she just stands there kinda grumpy and doesn’t sing along but then veronica insists for like a solid ten seconds and she joins in, still not sure if she quite belongs, very hesitant, but with the cUTEST small lil smile and she gives martha this little wave i cRIED.

s*phie is*acs as he*ther mc - again, she was very good, but i didn’t find her particularly memorable. like, to me, lifeboat just kind of flew by and her almost suicide scene as well and i didn’t feel too much??? her voice is definitely very pretty and she’s a good actress but i think the performance fell a bit flat for me.

a few more lil notes!!

- costumes were fine but i gotta say i was not a fan of he*ther m’s skirt or jd’s trench coat

- the stage was very small but the set felt so big at the same time?? and the set was very pretty tbh i really liked it!!

- sh*ne a l*ght was hILARIOUS and r*becca l*ck was great and being vv interactive and pointing to the guy at the audience and being like ‘you brought your wife aND A KID????’ and the wife was living and the guy was dying

- i feel like some jokes didn’t work w/ the british audience as it happens lmao like when ms fl*ming was like ‘as my thesis from berkley says’ and there were like, two laughs, one from me. in brazil we usually translate these kinds of things but i get why they didn’t. makes me wonder how h*milton is working out here tbh lol.

- dominic & chris were on point as kurt & ram (def reminded me of all the dudebros i know) but i just feel a bit iffy about the whole kram thing and everyone...... you know........ forgetting they almost raped veronica. 

- huuuuuuge props to the ensemble. it was very small but they nailed it and the ensemble numbers were just always filled with energy and a lot of fun!!

- also props to the cast’s american accents!! they did slip at times but they fooled the friends i’d taken with me who were all surprised to find out the cast was actually british.

- i hate paying for programmes. not a note for the show but one from me to this country. i know they fancier than playbills but we have similar ones in brazil and they’re free!! 4 pounds doesn’t seem like much. until you remember that’s twenty reais. TWENTY!!

- there wasn’t really a stage door, the actors showed up at the lobby, but there was a line that went all the way outside the theatre and i am now Old and no longer have the patience for these types of things so i just left. 

- sooooooo many people went dressed up though so if you’re in doubt about whether or not you should i’d say go for it.

- overall it was a good show, definitely fun, didn’t really leave me in emotional shambles but maybe i’m just older & boring now. i’m glad they’re still trying things out and making changes because lemme tell you it needs some of those. but if you’re in london, i def recommend watching it if it’s your type of show (though i know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea), it was a fun experience (love me some h*athers themed drinks) and i don’t think you’ll regret it!

[the-desolated-quill]

The Pilot - Doctor Who blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Is Steven Moffat even trying anymore? And I don’t just mean in the sense that the man hasn’t written a good episode in fucking years. I mean in the sense that not even his bad stories are even worth talking about anymore. There was a time where I could wring a lot of material out of crap like Deep Breath or The Magician’s Apprentice/The Witch’s Familiar, but The Pilot is just so uninspired and so thin on the ground that I honestly don’t have much to say.

Let’s start with some positives. This shouldn’t take long. Peter Capaldi was good in this episode. Moffat has stopped trying to make him unnecessarily goofy (the guitar is still around though) and the writing does suit this particular Doctor more than the previous two Christmas specials have done. The eternally insufferable Matt Lucas is still around sadly (why does the Doctor even need a manservant-like character? That just doesn’t feel right), but thankfully his involvement is kept to a minimum with the odd quip here and there that’s easy to ignore.

Beyond that, there’s really not anything about The Pilot I actually like.

Let’s start with the new companion. Bill Potts. Yes she’s black. Yes she’s gay. Big tick. Diversity and representation is always a good thing. And yes, she’s marginally better than previous Moffat women like River Song, Amy Pond and Clara Oswald. She’s not as bossy or smug for one thing, which is a relief. Nor is she constantly trying to steal the Doctor’s spotlight. Pearl Mackie does a decent job with the material she’s been given and there’s a nice mentor/protege relationship between her and the Doctor that reminded me a lot of the Seventh Doctor and Ace, and that has the potential to really go somewhere. The problem is Bill really does reveal how bad Moffat is at writing women. Once you remove the bossy smugness and the dominatrix-y elements, what you’re left with is... nothing. That’s kind of what Bill is to me. She feels like a non-entity. There’s nothing for me to really get behind. For instance, why does the Doctor choose her as a companion? With Rose, Martha and Donna, it was because they demonstrated some kind of skill or personality trait that either intrigued or impressed him. With Amy and Clara, it was because there was some convoluted, bullshit mystery surrounding their characters. Bill has neither. Oh they tell us Bill is special, but we never actually see any evidence for it. We get the opening scene with the Doctor talking about how she smiles when she doesn’t understand something, and that’s about it. In fact if we were to judge her by her actions alone, she comes across as... well... a bit on the slow side.

Putting aside the weird ramblings she occasionally does (how is the TARDIS like a kitchen? And what was the relevance of that whole speech about how she gives extra chips to a girl she fancies?), one of my main gripes is that she doesn’t appear to be the sharpest knife in the drawer. Every other companion is able to clock on to what the TARDIS is and who the Doctor is. With Bill, it takes considerably longer. Presumably this is for the benefit of newcomers, but it’s just irritating. And what about scenes where Bill fails to follow basic instructions? She knows there’s a homicidal puddle after them that’s taken the form of a girl she fancies. On an alien planet, she spots a puddle with the girl smiling at her, and what does she do? She sticks her face in the bloody thing. Then later, the Doctor says not to touch the girl’s hand. Guess what Bill does.

Going back to the Ace comparison, Seven could see the potential in Ace. Yes she was rough around the edges, but she was clearly capable of great things, and the audience could see that too. With Bill, on the other hand, I honestly don’t see what Twelve sees on her. She doesn’t even contribute anything to the narrative, instead merely being a tag along. I’m prepared to keep an open mind for now, bearing in mind I really didn’t like Donna or Captain Jack in their first appearances until I eventually grew to like them in the episodes to come. I’m hoping Bill improves over the course of the series, but right now, I can’t say I’m impressed.

I suppose what would have helped me connect with Bill a little more is if her relationship with Puddle Girl was developed more. It’s funny. Moffat and co are keen to show off their progressive credentials, using their pretentious, whizzy camerawork to spell out Bill’s sexuality in 50 foot high neon lettering as if they’re desperately trying to convince the audience how totally woke they are, but do you know what would have been more progressive? Actually developing their relationship and treating them like actual human beings. Instead we barely get to know anything about either of them (I can’t even remember Puddle Girl’s name) and it’s hard to really give a shit about this relationship when they’ve barely spent any time together.

I suspect all the Sherlock-esque camera spins and edits and the hammering home that Bill is most definitely not straight is in an attempt to disguise the fact that bugger all actually happens in The Pilot. Come on. Admit it. It’s pretty rubbish. There’s a magic space puddle following Bill around, the Doctor and co rush off to different places (including the Dalek and Movellan war for some reason) and then we get a sappy, emotional ending that isn’t really very emotional because I really don’t care about these people at all. For a series opener, it’s pretty flimsy. We don’t even get to find out where the magic puddle came from.

The Pilot is setup, but it feels like the worst kind of setup. The weak plot and Bill’s general cluelessness is clearly supposed to act as a soft reintroduction to the franchise to encourage new viewers who may have been put off thanks to Moffat’s mind-bogglingly stupid and overly complicated series arcs over the years. Except episodes like Rose and even Moffat’s own The Eleventh Hour did a much better job of getting newcomers up to speed without patronising them and without boring the rest of us long term Whovians into a sodding coma.

Oh yeah. I suppose we should talk about the series arc. The Doctor has been guarding a vault for 50 years. What’s inside? Bearing in mind this is the first time I’ve ever watched this series and bearing in mind how painfully obvious the solutions to Moffat’s stupid mysteries usually are, I think I’ve got a fair idea what it could be. The Doctor would never stick around in one place for 50 years to guard an object, so it has to be a person. So who’s the most painfully obvious candidate I can think of?...

Yes. That looks like the winner. Let’s see if I’m right. I really hope I’m not. Just once I’d like to be pleasantly surprised by a Moffat arc. So go ahead Moffat. This is your last series. Surprise me :)

[sethmacenzie]

So I just watched High School Musical for the first time in English.

And I tought I’d take some note. Some turned out to be quiet a lot.

So enjoy my commentary to High School Musical 2:

By the way the fat parts are the songs, as a guide.

It’s the last day of school why is everything so clean? It should look horrible and like the janitor and the cleaning company are going to cry tomorrow.

Mrs Darbus honestly publicly humiliated one of her students. Why is that allowed?

Ryan is looking so much out of the window he doesn’t even notice Jason asking his question or counting with the rest. Also Martha looks like she’s going to throw up.

Troy is so scared of summer. Are they doing that every year?

The school is out but we’re singing instead of going home song.

Did Chad just kiss Mrs Darbus?

Jason asked. Jason fell asleep during the answer.

Taylors bag is very Taylor.

Sharpay is a bitch to so many people – why do they all want her to sign their yearbook and not throw it on her head?

Pretty sure Chad only majored in vacation, considering all he brings to school is his basketball.

Totally normal that Sharpay and Ryan get stalked and chased by other students.

Did I mention the fact that the students are singing and dancing instead of going home?

It really creepy that they are all paired of as love couples and then there’s Sharpay and Ryan together.

How much money do you need to be allowed to paint you locker pink. I mean get it painted pink.

Sharpay is so freaked out from Gabriella doing her hands thing.

Kelsi isn’t that much smaller than the rest.

The picture of Troy and her in Garbiella’s locker.

Everybody looks like they got engaged because of the necklace. Also I’d burst out laughing if someone gave me a necklace with their first letter on it.

You have to admire that kid. He gets straight to the point. Also he didn’t get Sharpay to sign it earlier.

Chad is cockblocking Troy for no reason right before the kiss. And Troy definitely had time to still kiss Gabriella.  It’s like Chad know Troy is not into her and makes up an excuse so Troy doesn’t have to kiss her.

Kelsi just closed Gabriellas locker. Also: do kids in America not clean out their lockers of summer holidays. Do they get the same locker throughout their schooltime?

Or hiding! Like Kelsi should. Right now.

Poor Ryan. He doesn’t know what to say. Really doesn’t. Maybe his brain is sort of in the state where he thinks of Gabriella and Sharpay but he’s not sure which answer his sister wants for her argument so he’s trying to see her face in the mirror. And then he makes a wild guess. And he’s right.

Troy. Sharpay. Sharpay. Troy. Sharpay. Sharpay loves herself the most. By far. So far that Ryan has to snap her out of it.

And it’s nice that Ryan tries to get her back to ground by reminding her of Troy’s feelings.

Ryan is so over Sharpay’s shit. He has to calm himself.

So they were singing so long because the school bus comes so late.

Considering how big the Boltons house is I am surprised they have so many college money problems.

None of the guys who came back from basketball are sweating.

There is a paprika in their fruit basket.

If Sharpay wouldn’t have wanted to get Troy to Lava springs he would have never gotten that job. You say thank you not hey is there another job for my girlfriend? AND THE WHOLE REST OF THE SCHOOL.

Zeke just took one bite of a baby carrot and one out of an apple.

Now they look sweaty.

Now not anymore.

Troy’s mom is awesome.

Sharpay’s car. Nothing said.

She put her dog into a little cloth bag and didn’t even secure him or anything.

Why exactly is Sharpay signing the cards? And why does she do this so often, that Fulton and Ryan are in a routine of handing her things?

Where to put the trophy that has definitely a lot of space if we just move the others a little bit closer together?

Ryan looks like he is holding the award, he got every year for the first time. Which he probably is. And that’s just sad.

The old lifeguard did not tell Gabriella anything I am sure. I am also sure the reason he’s smiling so much is because it’s not his job to look after Sharpay anymore.

Why do those girls act like they only see Sharpay in summer? At least one of them was in school a few minutes ago. She also knows about the invasion.

Also the promoted guy is currently still lifeguarding in the spot where Gabriella is later. No wonder he had no time telling her what to do. He probably saw her, told her to sit down and ran as fast as he could.

The Sharpay song. Usually it’s the Ryan and Sharpay song, but this year we’re honest. It’s the Sharpay song.

Why the pool piano? And why isn’t Kelsi playing it. Kelsi you had one job.

Sharpay treats Ryan like her entourage. He isn’t worth more than the girls, he didn’t even get a different towel like Sharpay did.

And why ice tea from England? Isn’t England the country of normal hot tea?

I have no idea what to do with these sunglasses –lifeguard guy.

Ryan is not taking her shit about getting her flip flops. Thank god.

And the girls are not taking it either.

Is that lifeguards job to play along with Sharpays random musical numbers?

How did she get onto the piano without getting anything wet. I bet lifeguard guy had to carry her.

It took like ¾ of the song for Sharpay to finally get some ice.

That’s insulting- what did Ryan show her? I mean usually when people have fold out papers like that it’s nothing kid friendly.

Why is the entrance for employees of an exclusive golf club the one where you walk through the whole pool area?

I love how Ryan first tries to save his sister but as he notices it’s to late jumps away to avoid the water.

And where are Kelsi, Taylor and Martha coming from.

Hire Troy Bolton at whatever it takes. Did Troy call back and was like- hey can you hire like my entire class? And Fulton was like –sure thing?

You should think that Ryan and Fulton would be used to Sharpay’s screaming.

Ryan is so friendly with the yoga guy. So he’s definitely often there.

Ryan’s all like calming down and then when he senses Sharpay’s tense is growing he jumps up.

I love how Sharpay’s mum uses her as a stance for her yoga pose. She is having none of Sharpay’s shit. Not ever. She’s way too used to it. That woman has power.

Why does Ryan pull his hat of for his mom? I mean he is obviously a mommy boy, like Sharpay is daddy’s little girl. So is pulling the hat of like a special just for mom thing? From Ducky to Mom.

They are really just making a handstand out of nothing.

And Ryan told her twice. You can see where he got it from.

You have to feel poor for Fulton. You just have to.

It’s kind of funny that Mr. Fulton acts the same way to Troy like he does to the other at this moment. Like okay, I am pissed at Sharpay, so I’m going to let it out on the boy she likes. Who doesn’t like her back. And he spit on him.

What were those job interviews like? Hey just get all your classmates, well find a random job for everyone. It’s not like this is an exclusive golf club where people invest lots of money to get the good stuff, right?

And still Fulton managed to get everybody a decent job for what they are good at.

Taylor is quiet ungrateful, considering he gave her an extremely important job without her having any knowledge of it whatsoever.

Taylor the smart one: do we have to (do our jobs?).

Martha just said they guy who told her what her job was scares her. Never become an adult Martha or you’ll never leave the house again.

I love the guy with the broom. He is always around.

Next song: We have to work for our money, nobody told us that.

They are complaining about having to do something for their money. Literally.

And why is Zeke in this song. He likes his job.

Strike one: Singing intead of working.

Chad’s holding Martha back from having fun while working. Because he has to call people by their last name.

Jason: having to work for money is not worth it.

Chad’s like I’m in and then he remembers that he doesn’t dance and is like: no.

Why is the normal staff getting along with the song. It’s lunch time. There are a bunch of hungry rich people waiting for their food.

Pretty sure the laundry should not be in the kitchen.

Also: who checks out before getting dressed out of work clothing? That is the loss of time you get payed for.

The future part is too true.

Gabriella brings future up. Gabriella: well let’s not talk about future then.

Reminder: Gabriella’s mom values her job more than her daughter.

Why was Sharpay’s idea to make the people on the hot fairway wet? I mean that makes it only better. Ryan’s face really shows that it was a stupid idea from the start.

Ryan is so concerned. And he’s so not watching them.

Who put the machine where you check in in the middle of the kitchen?

HSM1 I want to sing. HSM 2 I want to work.  Troy you spend one movie wanting to sing and making everyone be okay with it and then you’re like: nah, don’t wanna anymore.

Song: The typical Troy/Gabriella love song that is in every HSM.

Is there even any more piano in the background music?

Either Troy has really weird pants or I can see his underwear. It’s his underwear.

Strike no. 2. Singing instead of working.

Troy about five minutes ago: we can work this out. Troy now: maybe we can work this out. But only if I pull Chad who hates this stuff into it.

Since when is Kelsi in charge of the work shifts. Also: they all work at the same time anyways.

Ryan stealing cucumber slice. Probably because he knows that they dry out your skin and don’t actually hydrate it. What kind of spa is this.

Those accents are awesome. If you are like me and usually watched this is another language (note: Troy’s German voice over is the same as Ruffy’s from One Piece) watch it in English.

That Godzilla joke is so wonderful. For 40 bucks I’d caddy for Godzilla. Close. Very close. I’d prefer Godzilla.

And Zeke is baking cookies for everyone. Or everyone is stealing someone’s Cookies. Even Fulton.

Troy has no idea what enchanté means. For the record: it’s nice to meet you.

How can we show how much money the Evans family has. I know, Daddy Evans comes with a helicopter. It’s not like telling them that the golf club belongs to their family is enough.

Also: helicopters are freaking loud, you wouldn’t understand a word he’s saying.

And he left the door open.

Daddy interacting with his kids is interesting. Daddy’s little princess and you can sense some discomfort with Ryan and him. But he still smiles at him like he smiles at his daughter.

And Ryan puts his cap into the right position again.

And I love how Daddy asks about Chad too.

Love in the family means you still play golf with Mommy, but you take a very big step back, because you know how she plays. Or maybe two.

Troy: Daddy. So much sexual indo in this scene.

Ryan lying around in his gold cart is amazing.

Sharpay can play golf. And she is very precise. She clearly didn’t want to hit the mark, but she did she want to hit Chad?

That whole golf trip is fantastic. Also the fact that Sharpay and Daddy can play, but Mommy and Ryan can’t. But they still have an amazing time and fun together.

Chad and Ryan left behind. And I can’t decide who’s reaction is better.

Chad is looking disapproving at Sharpay after she did the least mean thing she did that day. Hook Troy up with the possibility of college.

What on earth happened afterwards that they look like that? I mean Troy didn’t carry that bad anymore.

Fulton is honestly having Jason serve anyone. Not a good idea.

The intend of that dog collar comment is amazing. And really should be a warning.

Ryan looks so sad.

Troy does the right thing and points out his teammates. And still they are pissed at him later.

Nobody is there anymore it’s dark and they still didn’t have desert?

The of course thing Ryan does with his hands is so great.

Troy is more exhausted after that that dinner than after caddying. And that scream is awesome.

Forgetting things. He clearly didn’t forget. He couldn’t get away. Which was obvious for everyone who served, aka Taylors boyfriend.  And her sister has weird as shit rules.

Folton obviously wants to go home too. He is so done.

I do not know until this day why they would cut out that song. It is genius. Everything about it.

Left him all wet and scaly.  Stroke each tender gill. Double meaning ahoy.

I feel like Sharpay is a south park Hawaiian.

The other girls feel so sad for Ryan. And he is so done with Sharpay’s shit. Why would they leave that scene out? But on good news: he’s not presented as Sharpay’s love interest again.

Troy is so scared it’s hilarious.

The queen demanding his crown back. And his flower necklace. And even Troy knows that Ryan owns that thing.

I honestly think Sharpay is over the fact that Troy won’t date her, but she’s not getting, that she doesn’t at least get him as her partner. I mean if she would stop during romantic stuff and go for siblings or friendship stuff she could do much better with Ryan. And it would be less creepy.

Which shoe designer makes shoes in 9 different colors? A cheap one. Oh my god, Sharpay is wearing cheap shoes.

Gabriella still hasn’t changes cloths. Also she- the lifeguard is not supposed to be in the pool.

There is no way they didn’t see or hear Fulton.  There is no place he could have just stepped out of and his shoes are really loud. Unless he was hiding behind a stack of towels watching teens getting it on until it was his time to interrupt.

Troy’s dad is right. Troy is right. Still they manage to not talk about Sharpay, aka the problem.

Now someone has to clean the window because of Sharpay.

Yeah great idea let the little kids jump beside the water, where it can be wet and slippery so they can fall over and hit their heads. Smart one Taylor.

Everybody is watching that offer and still they are later offended. Makes total sense. They would have done the same thing.

These kids are awesome and definitely have issues. I blame the parents. I mean look at them.  One is throwing balls, one isn’t using any strength, the girl has it upside down and the last kid is hitting the grass really hard. Maybe spending the summer on the golf course isn’t the best thing for little kids. Who knew?

Taylor is right there listening and still she is later mad at Troy. Because he would sing one song in one talent show to get into college. That is so horrible.

Sharpay is the first one Troy actually teaches anything in the first place.

Daddy is like we all are. If we know one good story we will tell it to EVERYONE.

The whole swiss thing is the first actual thing that Troy did to Chad and now he is mad, only because of what Taylor said earlier. Oh god, the actual problem in this movie is Taylor.

That song is Kelsi’s own work, Sharpay is literally stealing from her.

Sharpay really doesn’t get why Ryan is mad and that is very concerning. I mean you can love yourself, but not being able to see any kind of moral is really creepy.

Okay, now is the first time in the movie where Troy is actually an ass. I mean he could have at least asked.

Neither Gabriella nor Taylor have been talking to Ryan this whole movie and they still know more about his feelings than his twin sister.

And here we have the it’s okay to be gay song.

I’m not saying I’m not straight, but if I wasn’t I’d do you.

And then he ‘did’ him. I mean they changed clothes and all!

I guess Chad is going to end up in his mom’s refrigerator now.

Troy’s photo on Gabriella’s phone is a selfie.

Gabriella you wear practically the same thing that Ryan does. Color wise.

Ryan is such a Hufflepuff.

He immediately tries to ease the tension in any way. First by comforting Gabriella via arm around her shoulder and then by going away because Troy has a problem with that.

Troy is 100% right and Chad has no reason to be mad.

The bad song.

This is the only bad music in High School Musical. I mean someone had to do that to that poor song. I guess Kelsi made it bad on purpose. But how can Sharpay not hear that. It’s awful.  But then again maybe she just made sing Sharpay me a bunch of times so she wouldn’t notice.

That wedding dress scene.

Seeing Ryan is relatively colorless cloths is really different, but it looks amazing on him nonetheless.  He looks so professional. So adult. Oh yeah, he was 23 in 2007.

Troy’s Sharpay sense is tickling.

Sharpay is so upset without and reason, she’s like Chad. Maybe that’s why Ryan likes him so much. On another thought, that’s really creepy.

You have to give it to Sharpay. She knows how to make an exit. And that drummer is awesome.

Fulton is really trying to be a good person. Really, really trying. And Taylor gets that. It’s so nice.

They’ll need to clean those plates again now Kelsi.

Gabriella standing up for Ryan, when he doesn’t do it for himself is so nice.

The break up song, even though she actually only quit her job.

Do they not meet outside of work ever? That would explain a lot.

You can see that Troy really didn’t change, because his did didn’t notice anything. But then again he didn’t know his son wanted to sing and dance last year.

He looks a lot like you is such a dad joke.

Bet on it. Aka Zac dance like no one’s watching.  And we’ll make the whole world watch. Muhaha.

Honestly we all probably look like that when we’re dancing.

Random golf bag appears. Either that or there are some very weirded out golfers on that course.

I’m surprise Sharpay didn’t sign the entrance sign.

Fulton took out Troy with the rest of them. Well played Fulton. Well played. But it’s hard to believe that the one person who got it was Troy.

Damn Ryan looks good. And he’s mocking Sharpay with her own hands.

Why exactly does Chad not have to apologies? I mean okay, Troy wasn’t very well with his words, but he didn’t do anything really bad. Chad is like Ron. Jealous and because of that he doesn’t have to apologies. Oh wait, neither Ron nor Harry did really apologize either. Because teenage boys are idiots.

Chad making sure Troy knows about his boyfriend’s baseball abilities. And everyone should have a girl/boyfriend who looks at them like Chad looks at Ryan.

I’ve been a good girl. I never lied, except when necessary. I always bought by parents expensive gifts, using their credit card, of course. But I don’t deserve this humiliation. We are all Sharpay.

How often did that sock puppet loose against Sharpay. I do not know. But we should maybe keep an eye on her. Or a security team.

Why are they smashing plates? Or was that the sock puppet.

Sharpay hitting rock bottom was very, very needed.

Sharpay is such a bitch most of the time that Troy does not for one second think it’s illogical she gave him a new song last minute.

And the happy ending love duet. What a surprise!

There is definitely no time for practice. That means those poor guys had to listen to that sock puppet until Troy got the song and everybody else changed clothes.  Oh and until someone called Gabriella and brought her over. And until Troy got the dance routine. You saw what happens when he dances like no one’s watching. He definitely had to practice that. You can bet on it.

They had a huge ass long routine before and now it’s like just the ending.

Troy is a Hufflepuff too. Only Hufflepuff hold hands out to Slytherins who manipulated them. And tried to get them a college education.

Daddy Evans is acting like Ryan would have his hat crooked without wanting it in that position. It’s called style daddy!

Ryan even slips gracefully on wet grass.

And Sharpay’s dancing with Zeke like she didn’t want Troy 5 seconds ago. Man that guy is forgiving. Is everybody here a Hufflepuff?

The song we didn’t know what else to do with.

Isn’t the talent show supposed to be at the END of summer? Or was it like in the middle and now the real summer is starting.

Yep, you give your brother not shit once and suddenly your friends with your enemy, that’s how it works.

Yes jumping in a pool full of people is cool and they’ll like you, they for sure won’t have you because you nearly jumped onto them.

[serenagaywaterford]

14) possible. Huge mistake, imo" Yeah. The show is already dragging. If they keep this up, the series will eventually lose a lot of its charm and meaning. e) "So, without June around I feel like Serena will just go back to old ways. Which is ridic cos she is an intelligent, powerful woman when she actually has the balls." Indeed. It's like Gilead has taken its toll on her and reduced her to a coward. Pre-Gilead Serena was a firecracker, even if she was fighting on the wrong side (that sounded

15) manichaeistic, but you know what I mean). For the record, I do believe they’ll give her some sort of redemption at some point. I’m just a little pessimistic. How are they gonna sell it as plausible and organic after 2x10? We’ll see, I guess. f) “It was just such a prime example of exactly how they maintain power in Gilead and how they managed to get it working: estranging women from each other.” SO. MUCH. GOLD. Suffice it to say, I really liked that June confronted Fred, after she didn’t

16) manage to get through Serena’s walls (and pride).And don’t get me started on that white rose. Every single flower has a special meaning/symbolism on this show and given that the garden is the only thing left to Serena at this point (kudos for admitting that knitting sucks, Serena, I’m 100% with you on that LMAO)… Word though. That music box and the flower were certainly nice gifts (small steps are better than none), but I still think that Serena could have done better. If she could get rid

17) of Cushing that easily, she could have let June see Hannah. That would have been an EXCELLENT way to express her gratitude/show her kindness, but alas. As for June’s excitement with the gifts? I smiled, I couldn’t help it. But I also felt a little sad for her. She’s so used to Serena abusing her and treating her like a baby machine (instead of an actual person), that such a little kindness makes her happy af. It really astonishes me how empathic June is with Serena (funny aka not funny at

18) all how that same empathy doesn’t extend to Fred) in the finale, even after the 2x10 incident. She’s certainly got some Stockholm Syndrome going on, but it’s also not that simple? There’s the codependency (fuck you Fred), the intellectual compatibility (writer/editor), the fact they’re both victims of Gilead now and that they both didn’t try to burst their own personal bubbles when it mattered (pre-Gilead). Holly tried to wake June up of course, because things were looking grim, but June

19) ignored her. Damn, I could go and on about this toxic yet fascinating duo, but I’ll restrain myself.

———-

[I had to look up what manichaeistic means, and now I’ve learnt a new word! :D Also, yes, I totally get what you mean.] Firecracker is a good word. I feel like she’s one of those people who is super enthusiastic about ideals, and thinks they’re great ideas, and then… learns the hard way and is killed by their own ideas. (Literally or metaphorically.) She’s so interesting to watch because her pre-Gilead persona was quite a bit different, just in a different way than the other women. Hers isn’t so much a physical cage (like Handmaids and Marthas are literal slaves) as a psychological one. 

I honestly don’t know how they think they’re going to convince the viewers that Serena even deserves any sort of redemption story. 2x10 was a serious nail in the coffin. The only way I can even see it working if Serena suffers A LOT, shows genuine remorse and understanding, AND if we see things from June’s POV who gives Serena a pass for every single horrible thing she does. Serena is like June’s blindspot. It’s mental. Like you said, June is shockingly empathetic with Serena who doesn’t deserve it at all. She just never seems to give up on her no matter what horrible shit she does. Like??? And, yes, there is clearly some Stockholm Syndrome thing going on but it seems to me anyway, that June is very forgiving (most cos she has to be to survive physically and mentally) and that she’s really fucking good at compartmentalizing. If I’m correct about that last one, it’s going to come back and bite her in the ass one day and there will be a breakdown. You can only stuff things away in little boxes for so long before it all falls down. I have to think the relationship (whatever it is, antagonistic or cooperative) is so much more complex. 

I think to some degree, June sees Serena for what (a loser) she is and that is very scary for Serena, but for June it allows her to empathise a bit easier than most. I don’t think we as viewers even get many glimpses of Serena, just chilled out and herself as you would EXPECT a human being to be. One of those is 2x06 where I think the OG Serena comes thru esp the night fireside where Serena is like… a completely different person?? From the weird parroting of June’s slang, and probably one of the only times we actually see her smile authentically at feeling the baby move, to that weirdass attempt at bonding during that Handmaid party (wtf), she’s so socially awkward around women it’s unbelievable. (Maybe that’s the guilt when you’re faced with all these women your perfect society has enslaved!) But it’s like she really wants to make a connection for some reason. And then when June asks to see Hannah, and Serena just starts crying??? And we find out as she throws a plant pruning tantrum in her safe space lol it’s cos she thought her and June were actually becoming friends?????? LIKE. WHAT IS HAPPENING. What is this high school shit? That episode made it seem like Serena just really wants a girl friend and is pissed off cos she thinks June was only being nice to get close to her daughter –which duh. “I DID THESE WHOLE 3 NICE THINGS! WHY DOES SHE KEEP ASKING TO SEE HER KID? WHAT A DEVIOUS BITCH!!!!” (Clearly the other Wives aren’t real friends.) MAYBE, and I’m just throwing this out there, the best way to make friends is not kidnapping, enslaving, raping, and assaulting the girl you want to be your bestie lol??? Just a wild thought, Serena.

I’m not trying to woobiefy Serena, but when I watch that episode, it’s just such a different Serena than we’ve seen except in other glimpses (and usually those were just because Serena was directly getting something she wants), but in 2x06 she stays very consistent in it. And, incidentally, she doesn’t attack June at the end. She just runs off and sulks like a child. Then 2 episodes later, with Fred out of the picture, she’s back to wanting to be besties again, coming to June’s room and confiding in her and asking her advice and blah blah blah. It’s shit like that that make me wonder if that’s the side June relies on in order to be able to forgive Serena–for her own survival.

Maybe I give Serena way too much credit. That’s possible. She’s still an awful terrible person, but there may be a tiny sliver of humanity in there somewhere.

So if we see more of that Serena who doesn’t resort to violence every time something doesn’t go her way, and we view her thru June’s eyes rather than our own, perhaps they can finagle some sort of not-completely-bonkers redemption arc. But it’ll be really difficult imo.

ANYWAY. 

Yes, I thought those moments at Serena’s door and then going to Fred was brilliant. Like, you can see that June knows EXACTLY what is going on with Serena, and how disappointed and annoyed she is that Serena folded so easily, and now June’s on her own again so she has to go protect herself and kneel to the king to save herself.

I have mixed feelings about the music box. It’s so… trivial and stupid and juvenile on the one hand. It’s very symbolic on the other, even June sees it. The girl in the box. And then, when you consider that Serena likely has very little she can give to June in terms of physical objects (since basically Wives had to throw away everything) so she gave her her childhood music box which she was likely saving for her imaginary daughter. If you take it that way, it is meaningful. But that’s just fanwank really. And, it locks. That may mean nothing, but it may mean something. June has literally nothing else of her own that has any sort of privacy but Serena gives her a box AND the key to lock it. 

Honestly, lol, when I first watched 2x08 and Serena is like, “I won’t forget your help”, I turned to my friend and was like, “Was that a threat?” Like you just can’t tell sometimes with Serena. I was relieved when it wasn’t in fact a threat lol.

I agree SO HARD about the flower/music box gift in 2x08 though. Like, c’mon. Firstly, bitch, you’re recycling gifts now? You’re just giving her BACK something you took away to punish her. And a flower, which will die. With all her connections, she easily could have given June something about Hannah, either a visit or a photo or a drawing or SOMETHING. This is something I still don’t get about Serena: why she is SO FUCKING OPPOSED to letting June have anything to do with Hannah? Maybe you have a theory? It’s one of those things I don’t get. Is it cos she’s jealous June has a child and she doesn’t? Is it just a power play thing? WHAT THE HELL IS HER PROBLEM WITH JUNE AND HANNAH? Like, she easily could have June eating out of her hand if she arranged a visit(or two) with Hannah. Instead, she throws temper tantrums any time June brings up Hannah. IDGI. Sigh.

And yeah, if you really want to show June your gratitude, it takes more than a fucking child’s toy. And ITA. The saddest part was how happy June was just to have that box. She was literally hugging it like a child and it broke my heart. Like, that’s what she’s been reduced to by Gilead, and the Waterfords. 

(Side note: I feel like June is one of the worst treated Handmaids on a daily basis? Like, sure, Naomi doesn’t like Janine but they have a much nicer house, gorgeous room, she gets ice-cream, etc. Janine fucking BIT Naomi to the point she bled, and she doesn’t appear to be punished for it at all! Can you imagine if June bit Serena? All hell would break loose. There’s that Wife that feels for Emily and tries not to do Ceremonies, and she plays with the dog and stuff. And I don’t know how bad/good it was for Lilly, but she said she preferred it over her previous life. Meanwhile June’s trapped in the dark, musty attic and Serena insists on making her life extra-miserable every chance she gets, including not even allowing June to wean Nicole (intentionally).)

And despite that, June is still like, “Well, Serena deserves my kindness.” WHAT. June is a much better person than I would be. Then again, I can’t help thinking at least in the finale, that June felt a little guilt. Serena never would have lost a finger if she hadn’t pushed her to do it. BUT THAT’S MOTHERHOOD. Sacrifice not for yourself (like Serena does), but yourself for your children. I read some interview where the showrunners were saying the main line through S2 was June teaching Serena how to be a mother. And that really didn’t make sense to me for a while. And it really solidified June’s pure, unabated hatred for Fred. As if slapping him wasn’t hint enough, she leaves Serena’s room after comforting her, and confronts Fred about it. If I was Fred, I’d be even more concerned then than when I found the rose tbh. If June is willing to come after Fred directly after he had his own wife maimed, in defense of said wife, that’s some bond right there. But then, June doesn’t seem to give a fuck about Fred at all and isn’t scared of him at all. Which, is smart in a way, cos he’s so grossly obsessed with her that she can get away with virtually anything. 

“There’s the codependency (fuck you Fred), the intellectual compatibility (writer/editor), the fact they’re both victims of Gilead now and that they both didn’t try to burst their own personal bubbles when it mattered (pre-Gilead).“

OMG. OMG. OMG. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOMEONE SAYS IT!!!

That last bit is something I sort of keep to myself cos like criticising June isn’t on my list of fav things to do but I thought the show was trying to make it REALLY clear that June was pretty late to the party when it comes to Gilead. Like, she had so many warning signs, even Moira was calling shit out, and she just sort of went along with the Gilead prep. Holly (a lot) and Moira (to some degree) were both like “WAKE UP!” But June and Luke just la-dee-da’ed around like “Oh it’s not that bad.” There’s the bathtub analogy and she even comments on how nobody really paid proper attention when it was building. So, at least she knows. 

I’m not hating ofc. I think almost everybody would behave the same. You see it already in some places. So, I’m not saying June is terrible for not doing more and it’s easy for us to say, “OMG. If that shit started here I’d be outta America so quickly!” But, at the end of the day, most people just sit by and watch.

But I mean insinuating in any way that June deserves what she got gets the wrath of Hell. Not that I am saying that! Nobody deserves what those women get but it’s important to think critically about these characters and if June recognises she was idle until it was too late, I think as viewers we should be able to say the same. Without it being taken as victim blaming, which I am very much NOT doing.

Also, as an aside, I understand how problematic it can be to suggest that June’s forgiveness of Serena is the desirable outcome cos IRL I think forgiving abusers is a very dangerous path to go down. It never ends well. (Although I am also someone who counts restorative justice as a viable option for some crimes. I studied it for a term in uni and it’s not something I can discount. I don’t think punitive/retributive justice is always the answer. Note: I’m talking about Serena’s crimes against June specifically here; her other wider crimes require something stronger than a healing circle lol.) The only thing I can think of is the entire environment of Gilead is so different that perhaps if you remove environment, people can change. It’s a very dangerous game to play and I certainly wouldn’t suggest this to anybody in the real world... I just, I want Serena to get some sort of redemption--and I don’t mean “happy ending”. Just something... else. And I am not opposed in the THT universe to June forgiving her. Simply cos there’s a bit in the book (IIRC) about forgiveness being true power and it seems like the idea the show is playing with. It’s something I remember from my childhood indoctrination at church as well, this whole “forgiveness is power!” mantra. I’m not sure I buy it. (I think it could be freedom, but I dunno. I’m no theologian or philosopher.) Ah. I’m conflicted.

“Damn, I could go and on about this toxic yet fascinating duo, but I’ll restrain myself. “

PLEASE DO NOT RESTRAIN YOURSELF. IMO they are indeed the most toxic yet fascinating pair on the show and I could read your thoughts about them forever. Not to mention, I feel like the actors have really good chemistry and play off each other exceptionally well. Again, I can’t recall the exact interview but I think it was Yvonne talking about the process and she and Moss really walk thru it and figure out everything. All that work shows. Honestly, this cast is strong. Like I can think of 6 of them that are excellent, a few that are pretty good, and then some blahs (no names mentioned lol). Ann Dowd totally deserved that Emmy for S1 and I honestly, I know I’m completely biased and all, but Yvonne’s S2 performance was stronger than Ann, AND everyone else in that category tbh. So nuanced.