#and THEN we get to The Point. god christ
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even for period typical ableism it still drives me nuts for karen to go oh poor matt how can he deal and get around as if he hasn't been blind most of his life at this point and living on his own by himself as an adult for his entire adult life after college and has also lived in the city his whole life like girl use your damn brain he can get around by himself just fine. good god. like take five seconds to use your brain. literally adult man who lives by himself if nothing else that should tell you he is fine and when he needs assistance has the knowledge and ability to go get it you act as if he can't even walk on the sidewalk by himself. he literally shows up to work by himself. it drives me up the wall sometimes how she sees proof of him functioning fine independently literally witnesses it on the daily and still thinks these things. like again foggy isn't great either bc again the period typical ableism (and just general ableism in the world outside of this period as this is a common attitude of viewing disabled people as helpless and unable to function even if they are people who do live independently (and im not touching on people who do need extra support and caretaking in this context. as this post is about these characters in the context of a story. so im talking about what we see there instead of any truly meaningful nuanced way) but the writing here is like. Particularly this way due to the time) he has a modicum more of understanding that matt is literally a capable grown adult man. literally told karen matt is a big boy who can handle himself and then karen went b-b-but you forget he's blind as if foggy hasn't known him for years of his life and is his best friend like PLEASE SEE HIM AS AN ADULT. I AM GOING TO GO INSANE. PLEASE RESPECT HIM IF YOU LOVE HIM SO DEARLY. AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T. JUST RESPECT HIM AS A PERSON!!!!!!
#i think it's particularly maddening bc we have seen characters be able to understand civillian matt is like. more than just Blind Man.#i am always highly aware of period typical writing and can remember the context etc etc but sometimes.#sometimes it truly. truly does drive me up the wall. especially when other characters have been capable of not being That Level#of infantalizing. again foggy still isn't much better in a lot of respects he is just as capable of and has been as infantilizing#and insulting as karen has been. for sure. on multiple occassions. no questions asked. but i dont think he does it to the extent karen does#as in we dont see it on page just as much. it's just a bit less. so we see karen focus on it far more. to an almost exaggerated extent#part of that is the romance plot of ohhh i cannot possibly love a blind man while foggy is matt;s best friend of many years#so of course it will be in the way of the stan lee and old romance comics schools of writing that this goes down and is written like this.#of course we see her focus on it a touch more in a different way bc she's still getting to know matt and hasnt witnessed him#for about like a decade(? they met in undergrad right?) function on his own the way foggy has. but jesus christ man. good god.#at a certain point even with the period time context it does just still leave a bad taste. at certain points it becomes less eye roll#and far more maddening and hard to push down. bc it is gross. no matter what time period it is.#again. both of them are pretty disrespectful towards matt about it at this point even if mostly in their inner monologues or dialogues#with each other and not super to matt's face about it every time. but still. sometimes karen drives me far more crazy about it than foggy.#becase at least foggy can in fact recognize every now and then. matt is a perfectly capable grown man who can function and thrive.#and is someone who lives independently but also can know how to get assistance when needed.#while karen at this point has never really once given matt the benefit of that assumption despite witnessing his capabilities.#because even with his act of trying to fit the image ppl have of him. he still functions within that! and shows he can do things!#and ask for help when he needs it! even within his act of making himself smaller and quieter for others.#he's still like. adult man who lives his life. and does stuff on his own time.#i cant really speak about matt on any more deeper level than that in regards to his disabilities. i am not disabled.#i only speak as a reader and someone watching what these characters do and have proven to be able to do and how they act.#so i can only talk about karen and foggy's behaviors and attitudes in that regard.#and also as a person with like. basic understanding of other ppl living their lives. that all ppl live their own damn lives however it is#like most ppl on planet earth.#i apologize if any of my wording here is bad or if i dont talk on it well as none of this in the real world stuff is my lived experience#and you are free to go hey. incorrect. think about that or word that differently.#ok i promise im done now it's just. EUGH. UGH!!!!!#static.soundz
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just re-watched ratatouille with my mom and i never realized how obvious it is that this movie was made before the economic collapse
#lime rants#ratatouille#its beautiful but my GOD have the morals/lessons not aged well#‘bird has to leave the nest at some point’ NO U FUCKIN DONT LMAO#and even aside from that#remy’s dad is literally Correct#remy being like ‘we can chose to change’ my rat in christ if you are the victim then it is not YOU who has to fix the system#remy’s whole attitude is like ‘survival aint important i have to follow my DREAM’ like. bro#thats the rhetoric We grew up with and now We get called ‘entitled’ for thinking that way#and now we’re miserable bc we didn’t expect to have to Settle
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Me @ Netflix if they cut Foxglove and Hazel or A Game of You or yassify any of the girls
#sandman season 2#a game of you#fucking bullshit man this comic say what you want in not saying there's nothing to criticize but christ#where else even today do you get queer women characters this un-polished and prettied up#to still be appealing looking to cishet men who are allowed to be messy and Problematic without#being punished by the narrative. And Wanda god she's a nerd she's a scene gal fashion wise she's everything#Barbie is desperately recovering any sense of identity at all and it's so compelling. I don't even trust netflix to do them justice#at this point but if the lesbians the fandom was least likely to find Palatable background extras aka the most human ones#are cut? If Wanda is yassified if Barbie is cut? Because we have to streamline everything and cut off everything that made#sandman unique to pull as many bucks as possible? Yes I AM going to take that#personally actually. It kinda does feel like a slap in the face. Queer women and women in general were the core fanbase of the comic for ye#but if they say fuck us when it's time to make $$?? Then fuck them right back. Bye#We don't need yet another time that if queer women aren't looking like models#they're not fit to be seen according to executives and audiences alike#also it goes without saying that if h0b g*dli*g gets one second more screen time than is necessary#I'm gonna chew my way thru Netflix hqs walls#Has he not taken over enough. The fandom is already insufferable about him#and I'm so fucken tired of it we DON'T need more#yes I know this is all fears and speculation. I WANT to be wrong. You don't know how happy I'll be if i have to eat my own words#But until then I'm so nervous
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FINALLY got around to watching 4x9 freddie and then was finally allowed to get on tumblr and see everyone else's reactions and. uhmm. why r u all acting fucking shocked that nandor did something mean
#theyre all terrible people. all the leads r terrible people.#that's the point!!!#oh my god!!!! nandor did smth disrespectful of guillermo's feelings!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!#......yea. that tracks and literally is what hes been doing since the pilot LMFAO#the point is that a) it crossed guillermo's boundaries and b) nandor actually feels guilt about it which he hasn't in the past#not that it was objectively worse than anything else he (or any of the other characters including guillermo) has done#so why r u all getting on ur moral high horse now and saying OMG. i want guillermo to KILL nandor. i DO NOT want them canonized.#bitch idgaf i want those men to kiss and never resolve their issues <3#like did u guys think nandor & guillermo had a healthy relationship? & were NICE to each other??#nandor locked guillermo. in a basement.#guillermo murders innocent people regularly#they arent good people. that's the point. uc an stop acting like nandor did smth unforgivable now#we get it we get it. it was sooooooo wrong of him and u HATE nandermo now ok ok#jesus christ#nandermo#nandor x guillermo#nandor the relentless#guillermo de la cruz#wwdits#what we do in the shadows#wwdits s4#wwdits s4 spoilers
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moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love
#i mean if the alternative is whatever the fuck is going on with my best friend rn then hooooo boy#cancelling therapy immediately i never want to change i wanna keep my trust issues forever and ever if its gonna save me from THIS#is he a dick? kinda. yeah. and a coward because if dude was sure he didnt want it since AUGUST and didnt have the guts to end it till now#actually he didnt end it. she was the one who finally snapped. but we seriously fought twice before because she just woudlnt listen#when i said that girl this isnt gonna work and you trust him too much and you're attachment styles are incompatible as hell#your*#but nvm. the least you could do when a 7 years younger girl who's clearly obsessed with you is breaking up with you#cause she just cant take it anymore. and you can see she's still in love with you because you've been lying to her for half a year.#imo the least you could do at that point is just. dont tell her that jfc. just say you're sorry it didnt work out etc etc#dont fucking tell her you stopped being in love with her in fucking august#and just 'didnt know how to end it' and lied when she asked if everything's alright#like my god. yes ig this would never have happened if she hadn't trusted him so completely and expected love to fix her whole life#but jesus dude. she's not even 23 she has a right to be naive. you're almost 30. you DONT get to be a man child anymore#christ. okay.#anyway i wish i could help her but telling her to 'trust less' and 'never truly rely on other people' sounds horrible and cringe and edgy af#but i genuinely dont have any other advice#like babygirl im sorry but your bestie is a piece of human garbage and she's doing the best she can but her best is Not Much alas
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so no furina story quest 2 :((
#personal stuff#delete later#AUUUGH.#i guess since she isn't technically an archon she'll get one at the same time as everyone else. but no neuvillette quest either??#we don't get to dive deeper into the previous hydro archon or anything?#no spices from the west either... what's the point of this update even#kidding. dainsleif quest at last. oh my god#looked like remuria during the trailer?#also i am simultaneously getting immernachtreich and hexenzirkel vibes from certain places in the trailer. hmm#SPOTTED ALBEDO'S FLOWER ON THE STAINED GLASS#OHHH SHIT. SIBLINGS. HOORAY [afraid]#okay i thought we would go back to remuria for the dain quest but it DOES make more sense to go back to sumeru with its links to khaenri'ah#oh my god the eng pronunciations of these names are killing me. i have never heard them said like this before <//3#but yea sigewinne and clorinde look nice :]#sethos!!!!#love him.#he's traveling!! visiting sumeru city!!!#interesting to me that he was a spear user in the story quest but now he uses a bow#hermanubis took my polearm proficiency can't have shit in the temple of silence#was kind of hoping we'd at least get the polearm he used to flesh out that weapon set#aww the animation looks nice. kind of hate that they're leaning so far into the ''aether as the mc'' thing but whatever. it's fine#SECRET ROOM IN THE MONDSTADT LIBRARY. HEXENZIRKEL DESIGN DETAILS. LET'S GOO#OH IT'S PERMANENT? WOOO#i don't even care abt the rewards for the most part i'm more excited by the hexenzirkel implications and getting to go to mondstadt#natlan teaser wooo. i'm not. super excited about any kind of mount system i'll be 100% honest#maybe i'll change my mind on release but like. i did not love the sorush system#i enjoy exploring as Me and My Characters. idk#i really hope we at least get gourmet supremos. christ. we didn't see them at all in fontaine
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cleaning my room is so much effort but oh well its not like anything could have been done to reduce that <- FOOL WHO HASNT CLEANED IN OVER A YEAR
#this is not a moral judgement on myself or any others. for the record#i had other stuff going on and even if i didnt that is between me and god#that said. jesus fucking christ man. i didnt really register how bad it had gotten#i am slowly finding things that i thought had been lost to time which is good but also hahaaaaaaaa oops#its fine. every day is an adventure for me. tomorrow i have to finish cleaning around my shelves and then start on the desk#because if i have those two done then everything else can be sorted away nicely. it only gets easier#fuuuuuuuuck oh i have to work out moving my dice shelf dont i. it didnt even register but like i do have to take that. it was custom made#thats the only furniture i have actual emotional attachment to everything else in here kind of sucks#i will miss my bookshelf a little bit i did save her from doom but she will serve better here than she could where im going#sorry we have got to that point of comfortable on tumblr where i just start fucking saying anything#original post placeholder tag
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Oh, you played Yakuza 4? *holds gun to your head* Name all the important plotpoints
please i have a dog dont do this to me hes very small and defenseless and pees when i have to leave the house because he has separation anxiety
#snap chats#BUT REAL UHHHHHHH LEMME SEE I JUST WANNA SEE HOW MUCH I ACTUALLY REMEMBER#ok so uhhhhh game starts with akiyama visiting. whatever the fuck kido's family was#and he supposed to get collections or some shit but then kido and his boys are talkin bout some drama at a bar#so akiyama heads there where he meets up with his ex wife arai and they fuck shit up at the bar#but then arai kills a bitch and now everythings gone to piss#cut to katsuragi rolling up to daigo like :) Hey ;) Can We Have Majima ;)#and daigos like !! Thats Fucked Just Take The Money#my ucking god what happens in this game CAUSE LIKE THAT HAPPENS AND THEN SAEJIMA HAS TO GET OUT OF JAIL#SO HE DOES THAT WITH HAMAZAKI'S HELP#why the fuck does he escape jail oh my god i really dont remember#i know yasuko is involved here somewhere.#then tanimura's segment happens. i think. kiryu's last because of course it is#WHAT EVEN HAPPENS IN TANIMURAS SEGMENT JESUS CHRIST i just know you fight a cop and it's based#also nair's there :)#but THEN kiryu's bit it's like. hamazaki washes up on the beach and haruka Rightfully flips her shit#and kiryus like Hush Child so he leaves with hamazaki and they run into yasuko who's trying to visit saejima#but then shit happens and hamazaki dies because i cant have anything good in this life apparently#I DONT HAVE THE TAGS TO EXPLAIN THIS POINT IS I REMEMBER NOTHING
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What's your podcast?? Lmao where can I listen?
UNSURPRISINGLY IT IS A HOTEL FANCAST. it is called We Like The Hotel (a play on the hotel behind the scenes series called We Made The Hotel) and due to my life getting very very busy we have not been able to record for a hot minute. but here's the link to the first one the whole series is just up on my friend's youtube page. we have little talksprites that move when we speak :3
#ibis answers#oh god we have GOT to get together and do the second half of the s4 retrospective#i think we cut aaaat 4.9? and we have GOT to talk about the back half of s4#it's my favorite part of the show#but jaysis CHRIST has my life gotten sososo busy. and i have a big sore on my tongue so a bitch is lispin#what's my point. my point is listen to the hotel and then listen to the funnie fancast me and my friend and my boyfriend did
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astarion is so fucking funny as a character because conceptually he hits all the marks of a wet cat blorbo but in practice he's unbelievably hard to stand. i'll be on the bg3 companion guide and have to start CRYING from trying to find the shit under his section that gains approval. loses -15 points for gently suggesting we not massacre an orphanage in cold blood with the d&d equivalent of a nuclear warhead
#like all things considering i am still in act 1 so i'll grant you that i might just not be at the point where people start to like him#but please for the love of god he has me on my knees to be even a little redeemable. can we do one thing that's normal just as an entrée#my tav isn't even playing a straightedge good guy is the worst part they lose wyll and gale points for being too opportunistic if anything#but they still like them more than this bucko who's been all grumpy and harrumphing at their. lack of sufficient slavekeeping ? ?#SO confusing by the way because i thought i'd spoiled myself on his backstory and context makes those checks seem borderline contradictory#he's still a hilarious freak and i still have to respect the hustle#and i'll fucking do it but christ alive.#on top of that missing a lot of his scenes contributes because my dumbass is nearly starting the creche and long rested up to now about 3x#the party'll be wailing about sleep deprivation and i check their stats see they still have points ready to go and go nahh you're good#girl THIS is what i get for creating a peak performance shortresting steamroll team of fighter warlock monk and barb#managed to become so efficient i couldn't even get my blood sucked. can't have shit on the sword coast#next playthrough that mod for displaying the number of queued camp scenes is getting locked and loaded in or so help me#baldur's gate 3#bg3 liveblog
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The Originals 5x6 my beloathed
#fuck you fuck you fuck you#i can't believe they did that to hayley#i can't believe you had her bind the werewolf part of herself#to then be killed by a vampire nazi eugenisit#and die a vampire#after everything she's been through for her fucking family#after everything she's been through period#to have amnesiac elijah be on team nazi and pass her without a thought#god he's gonna be so guilty when he gets his memories christ#to have klaus right there#to have hope wake up eventually to find out all this#to have this episode be empty and slow as fuck where it truly feels like if roman did anything at any fucking point we would've been fine#no one - litetally no one - goes through more on this show than the women do#idc if you want me to give a fuck about klaus' redemption and the tragedy of him and his family#god fucking dammit#hayley marshall#the originals#watching the originals
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whats tough about like. Having Chemistry and spending time with someone at the start of the spring semester is that valentines day is coming up and its like a make or break point with what you may or may not Be and you have to question what direction things are headed in and its a pressure just Not present in the fall semester idk. idk
#we uhhhh. kinda hit a bump in the road ...... idk.#hes. been very gentle and kind and understanding about where im coming from and so we havent talked in a couple days but just ....#god ok fuck it. we were hanging out saturday night and at some point we were going somewhere where parking sucked so i just suggested we go#in his car rather than separate bc finding parking for ONE car is a Struggle. anyways so afterwards we went back to where i parked my car#and i hahahhaaaaa was NOT leaving. it was just past midnight and so we were just hanging in his car talking for abt an hour#in there at some point i told him about that last crush and how it dragged on and he was like jesus CHRIST sia thats a lot#i was reclined in my seat and shutting my eyes listening to the music and i caught him looking at me a couple times andddddd uh#yeah basically i ended up in his lap and then we were kissing and touching and grinding for like the next hour and a half#and he asked if i wanted to go back to my place and i was like uhhhhhhhhhhhh not now so we stayed in there and just made out & talked more#and then he TOLD me. basically hes in a similar situation i was in this time last year. like a girl he liked and was talking to actually#has a bf. hes sorta in limbo and she still talks to bim and is stringing him along and playing off his hopes theyll get together for.#entertainment ig. everyone at this school is fantastic btw. jesus fucking christ.#so yeah he told me bc he said he didnt wanna hurt me or end up fucking me over and that i deserved full honesty and didnt want to get my#hopes up. which i REALLY appreciate. we talked for 8 days he got carried away once and immediately owned up. i do appreciate that#so like. he said that we can just be friends with or without benefits and i said id think about it. then at like 3 am we went home and he#check in with me to make sure i was alright since he could tell i had a LOT on my mind. i said id call him the next day and so we talked#and basically i explained the reason for my apprehensions and why i said no to hooking up (csa) and he was really understanding#and then like. i just asked him more about what was going through his head the night before & he described it as a heat of the moment thing#(which i agree it was) and like. he was genuinely concerned about me tho. idk#i told him that after i got home i had to shower for an hour scrubbyat every place he touched me and that im tired of feeling used#and he really heard me out and listened. he also asked if he hurt me and i said no but it def could have gotten to that point and i#and so he said 'im sorry for making your life at all hafrder to deal with' and i REALLY really#appreciate him being as honest as he was. so i said its cool we can be friends but i just need some space rn & he once again was really#understanding & said 'for as long as you need. just let me know whenever youre ready to just be friends again & if you need me to stay sway#from [xyz places we hung out] just let me know and if you need anything for class just feel free to reach out'#and. GOD i appreciate him. so that convo closed out on good terms. i was worried id need WEEKS but it rlly was just a few hours after that#i was ok again. traumas all about narratives and before that convo all i could see was another instance i was usee but like.#after actually talking it out all the fear around it dissipated and i can just see it for what it was: 2 friends who got carried away#but i really REALLY appreciate how hes handled this and we're both single & attracted to each other and so the question im thinking now is:#crushposting
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what is it about finding paradise that always makes me fucking WEEP
#finally got to the final memory and jesus christ it always makes me so emotional :[#we are kindred spirits colin and i...... its why his arc just hits so close to home for me#i cant think about it too much or im gonna start crying again WAURGHHHH#EVERY TIME. EVERY TIME i get to this memory i just start weeping at some point#god. good fucking lord#um. good game or something. made this post bc i needed a moment
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started making a power point presentation about my ocs, made 2 slides, and then just stopped. i <3 creativity
#vent post#negative#mainly for the tags. heres your warning i got sad#to be fair. MOST of the problem is i want to make a power point presentation studying the themes of the story and every characters arc#which is a lot of fucking things! and i don't know how to organize it at all. and it of course has to touch on spoilers#but the other problem is overwhelming thoughts of 'nobody wants to see this' 😔#which is so frustrating cause i have so much proof its not true#people tell me they love my stories and characters all the time. i'm so lucky for that#oh wait lol figured it out. i don't want to make a power point presentation actually#it just feels like the only way i'll ever be able to get across all the thoughts i have without being a bother#but i have a difficult time actually working with power points so it's not actually that fun to make#so i'm not even doing this for my sake i'm doing it for everyone else again god damn it#huh. i don't even really want to ramble about The Themes and the character arcs#i think i just want someone else to do it. to prove that i'm not the only one that sees it or something#to engage with my story and show me They Get It#it feels unreasonable to want but i do want someone to point at the themes and point at specific panels and give me their ideas on it#so we can bounce back and forth discussing the meaning and how the story functions which is my favorite thing ever#but i can't ask people to do that. that takes a lot of effort especially Right Now when everything is awful all the time#and i accept that cause jesus christ everything is awful all the time#but boy can i yearn#hyperfixating on my ocs is very cool. i do love it. i love caring so unbearably much about some guys i made#it does get lonely sometimes tho
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#christ. so i was selected as the top candidate for the program i interviewed with on Friday#and im very annoyed and very pleased and also annoyed that im pleased#im pleased bc it means that they were impressed with what ive done to this point and they think i communicate well. which is cool#and the project is very very cool and id love to work on it#am annoyed bc this does put pressure on me to accept bc they can only put one student forward so if i dip out then thats it for them#which i find extremely stressful. and everything is just so much more complicated if i go to the uk for a phd#and i dont get the luxury of faffing about and taking a bunch of classes like i could in the us. ugh but it would b so cool to go back to#the uk and i wouldn't have to fucking drive. ugh. this project.#ugh its like my boss said#sometimes the project is more worth it than the school. id have crazy cool opportunities to learn things on this project#but at the cost of taking a lot of classes in the us. but every project is what u make of it#but im so fucking dyslexic thst its hard to learn outside a classroom bc i cant concentrate and i dont have a person talking me thru the#info. so idk idk. hopefully when i visit the other school ill kno how i feel#god but i loved living in the uk. and i could travel so much more freely there bc the trains and all that. im so fucking restricted bc im#so terrified of driving. i dont have good reaction speed and i space out too much and i get intrusive thoughts#sigh... but id be a whole 24hrs of travel away from my family instead of the 10hrs thst i am now#so id probably only get to see them once a year maybe? in contrast to 2 or 3 times#and im just worried something terrible will happen and then ill be like fuck i wasted all my time making myself miserable so far away#idk. im so tired. we had like a mile abd a half hike out to a site one way and we left at 7.30 got back at like 4#it was a long fucking day. and im tried. and i have no filter. and when i talk too much it really annoys me#also! i got confirmation that i fucking suck at recording data. wow im so shocked. its basically designed for me to be terrible at#but its still slightly embarrassing. like srry i fucked up ur data. i cant write words correctly#literally i kept writing my Ls upside down today. why? idk that not how i see them. my brain just cant make Language right lol#whatever. my parents r calling tomorrow and i can info dump at them abt my dyslexia knowledge and my academic knowledge of biblical history#bc instead of listening to anything useful to my job. i choose to listen to lectures on neurology and theology. bc fucking idk#its interesting im relearning my bible lore from a non religious perspective. theology is fucking fascinating. ugh anyway#i shoulf sleep im so fucking tried#unrelated
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I need to elaborate on that last post actually because I get how “you guys should be used to feeling shitty about your art which also means you should be fine with AI art being a thing” sounds. Im only saying that because alot of people went from reasonable takes like being honest about being worried about losing work or being worried about their work being used to train AI and what that might look like to like “art is a beautiful thing that should only be created by human hands” type shit. It very quickly began to feel like people were upset about not feeling like Unique Special Humans or some shit and it got so fucking weird
#You think digital artists wouldnt be like 'its MEANINGLESS without the CRAFT' but#that take was everywhere and still is. Its really strange stuff to say#I know Ive been complaining about this for forever but I still think theres enough good arguments against AI art without getting to#Its SOULLESS its MADE BY A MACHINE I can ALWAYS TELL ITS MADE BY THE MACHINES#Because it is UGLY because theres no PERSON BEHIND IT#Its still weird to me 3D artists and digital artists were saying that shit. That is literally how people talked about us like#basically until the second AI art started to become the big new thing to call a AFFRONT TO GOD#Like for the record it IS different I know that but I still think we can point out the actual problems#instead of falling back on sounding like right wingers who hate modern art#If your anti AI art takes sound like somebody who thinks piss christ is stupid you gotta reword it. New rule
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