#and Weekes is not shy about saying how much they love our misery lol

[shift-shaping]

I feel like if you think there's no way solas would kill a friendly or romanced inquisitor in order to go through with his plans you are probably gonna get really mad about what happens in Dragon Age 4: Solas Is The Bad Guy.

[just-graysexual]

part 1 - i really need some help and have a lot to say. theres a guy who i was friends with for a while, then we became really emotionally intimate over time and ended up sort of dating by being sexual and romantically intimate. he means so much to me, he has literally saved my life before. for about five months this went on till he started acting kind of shut off and distant and i tried to reach out to him until finally a few weeks ago he told me the truth. he thought he was asexual before ..

part 2- .. but when we first kissed and stuff he assumed he was demisexual. throughout that part of our relationship it seemed really genuine, but he said all of the sudden he feels he switched and thinks hes ace/graysexual. it really hurt me even though i know its not his fault. he says im special to him and that he needs me and doesnt want to lose me, and i dont want to lose him, but im just confused as to what all this means. he says he has no clue when he’ll switch back into ..

part 3- .. romantic attraction and i dont want to spend my life in misery hoping someday he’ll love me back again. its really hard and i dont know what to do. is this common for graysexuals to switch like this? is there anything i can do? the last thing i want is to make him uncomfortable but all of this is so hard for us to fight through. he doesnt want to hurt me but it hurts anyway. he says he has these periods in his life where he does or doesnt for a long time experience attraction ..

part 4 - .. and i just want to know if other people know what this is like. weeks ago he wanted to be intimate with me (i dont mind if he doesnt want to be sexual, its the lack of romantic attraction that kind of hit me really hard) and now he only sees me as a friend. im just really lost and so is he. he keeps saying hes broken and i just want to help him be happy about who he is. its a huge mess and im so confused.

Hey Anon,

I am so sorry that you are going through this. It’s incredibly hard to care and love someone when that person is not even sure of their feelings themselves. You hang in there. If it’s meant to be then things will work out, but there needs to be effort by both people. Things will eventually fall into place. 

I know that you are hurt and confused, but, right now, it sounds like the best thing you can do for him is to be his friend. You appear to be doing a great job of that already. Just be there and support him. It sounds like he is really struggling with his orientations and is having a hard time understanding them. Please know that what he is going through is in no way a reflection of how he feels about you. You don’t need attraction to feel emotion towards other people. Not feeling attraction does not mean that one cannot experience love and caring. We can still love and be compassionate. We can still care and fall in love. Even if we don’t experience all of our attractions. He may not experience romantic attraction towards you, but that does not mean that he does not love or care about you.

It sounds like he is really having a difficult time pinpointing his orientation. Let him know that you understand this and that you are there for him. Show him that you support and respect. Do some of your own research and talk to him about it. Let him know that you looked some stuff up and try to help in guide him. It appears that you are someone important and valuable in his life. He trusts you enough to tell you what he is going through. That’s a big thing. Poke around some other orientations too. Since he is having such a hard time with this he might be aceflux, abrosexual, or paragraysexual. 

Aceflux is for people who fluctuate on either the asexual spectrum or between asexual and allo/zsexual (orientations like heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, etc.).

Abrosexual is for people who have a constant changing sexual orientation. Or they have a hard time pinning their orientation down.

Paragraysexual is for people who feel like graysexual is close to how they would identify, but it does not exactly fit them.

He could also probably look into aromantic orientation as well, for his romantic orientation. Things like aroflux, abroromantic, quiormantic, or platoniromantic.

Aroflux is for people who fluctuate on the aromantic spectrum or between aromantic and alloromantic. 

Abroromantic is for people who have a constant changing romantic orientation. Or they have a hard time pin pointing their romantic orientation.

Quoiromantic/wtfromantic is for people who have trouble distinguishing between romantic attraction and platonic attraction.

Platoniromantic is for people who feel no distinct difference between romantic and platonic attraction.

These are just a few suggestions based on what you told me about him. Take a look at them. See if he looked into these orientations as well. Show that you are there to help him and want to help him understand himself better. Be open and caring. 

I cannot speak for him or for other aces, but it’s not always easy for us to be in a relationship. It’s extremely scary to be in a relationship and date. Being ace we feel different from the rest of the world, because we are told we are different. Society has all these exceptions in regards to attractions and relationships and we don’t fit that mold. This makes us feel different and broken. This scares us into being in a relationship because we believe we cannot love how people expect us to love and no one can accept out love. We are scared that whoever we are with will eventually get bored, frustrated, or leave us. We are scared that we are not enough for our partners. 

Being in a relationship with someone who is ace does not mean that you cannot have a loving and successful relationship. There are many ace and non-ace relationships that work out. Many aces are even married. The relationship maybe a little different than what you are used to, but the love and caring is all there. 

It sounds like he is having a hard time with romantic and intimate moments because he is still struggling with who he is. From how society tells him out to act and how he feels is conflicting right now. He is fighting an internal battle and it seems he is now sure himself how he should be acting. There are times that some aces do have trouble with intimacy and romantic things. There are times where some aces are completely cool with it and really into it, while other times we are not interested at all. Almost like an on-an-off switch. I know that it hurts to have these emotions flip-flop and it hurts us to even think about hurting our partners. 

For me, there will be times I am okay with certain things, but there will be times I will not want that affection. This does not mean that I don’t care about the person that I am with or I don’t love them, but sometimes I just don’t want to be touched or handled in that way. I cannot really pinpoint the reason, but I do shy away from certain actions sometimes. Many aces have things that they are and are not okay with. Many aces have certain limitations as to what they are willing to do and what they are comfortable with. Many aces prefer one thing over another. Being physical close to someone is extremely important to me. Holding someone’s hand means a lot to me. I don’t even know if I could fully express how I feel about holding hands. I just love the closeness and intimacy I get out of holding hands. It’s such a big thing for me I love it so much. Some aces can have certain boundaries and limits depending on the people. Some aces will treat everyone the same, other aces will act different and accept different things from other people depending on the relationship. There will be times we are okay with certain things and then there will be times when we are not.

(This may sound incredibly weird, but I’m going to try and give you an example. Stay with me on this, lol: Have you ever owned a dog or know a dog? There will be times a dog will want to be with you and cuddle with you and want to be petted by you. They will sometimes seek out this attention, beg for it, or happily welcome it when you approach them. But there are sometimes when a dog does not want this attention. You could tell. A dog may shy away from a hand coming out to touch them or tense up when you get close to snuggle them or even completely ignore and walk away from you. Sometimes a dog does not want to be touched or that attention. Doesn’t mean they don’t love, appreciate, want to be with, or care about you, but they have boundaries and limits too.)

I know that you feel hurt and rejected by his actions. I know that you feel lost and confused, but just give him some time. I know it’s weird when sometimes he seems okay with being intimate with you and other times not. I know that you feel hurt that he may not be romantically attracted to him, but that does not mean that he cannot love you.

It’s great that you are trying to help him and want to help him. That is so amazing of you. I want to thank you for that. I love that you care and are trying so hard. You are amazing. Keep doing the best that you can. Keep trying, but don’t lose or hurt yourself over this. Don’t sacrifice too much of yourself. It’s okay to help and be there, but your feelings matter too. You cannot completely disregard yourself or ignore your feelings. What you feel is important. You deserve to be heard and respected as well. Don’t give all of yourself to somebody who cannot accept or appreciate it. It’s not worth it for you. It’s not worth it for you to become sick over. I know that you care about him, but don’t forget to care for yourself.

Talk to him. Relationships are not easy. There will be bad times in relationships. Relationships are messy. There are always obstacles along the way. No relationship is perfect. Each relationship will have scars, but it’s learning to work together and moving past those scars that can help make the relationship stronger. And that’s why communication is so important. You may hurt one another in your talks, but the only to get through it is to keep talking. Try to work things out. When things get hard you don’t run away but try to work them out because you care about the person more than the situation. It’s the people in the relationship that makes it strong and talking is a big factor why.

Hang in there, Anon. I know you are confused and feel hurt, but for now, just be his friend. Support him, help him, and be there for him. Show him that you are trying. Talk to him. Listen to him. Discuss your relationship. Try to work things out. Give him some time to sort through his feelings and orientation. You seem like an amazing friend; he should not want to lose you. I hope everything works out. I wish you and him the very best. I hope you are doing okay. If you ever need to talk or have any questions feel free to message me anytime.

[prince-boi]

From Your Dearest

Reader x Mark

Word Count: 2,760~ish words idk I didn’t count properly, I know there’s 1,034 “i”s in this fic

Angst, Like really angsty, like get some tissues angsty. Major Angst ahead lol. Like I felt like a horrible person writing this. I want to punch myself in the face.

 (Btw I just copied and pasted half of a fic I wrote like idk last year or something and I changed the ending of the story too. So don’t get pissed and call me out if you think I’m lazy or something, mate.)

We met each other at the grocery store:

“Mum! Who’s that girl!” a small boy asked in while pointing to y/n.

“Oi! Don’t point! That’s rude Mark!” the parent scolded. The boy pouted, he only wanted an answer.

Y/n’s parent bent down to his level, “I’m your mother’s friend, this is y/n, she will be staying at your place for a little bit because I need to do some grown-up things. Is that okay with you?” Mark looked up at his mother with a questioning face, she chuckled and nodded. Mark sneaked a glance at the shy girl that was hiding behind the unfamiliar adult and held out his hand, smiling as he did so,

“Let’s be friends!”

When we entered primary school:

Our parents sent us to the same school, we knew no one else besides each other and some other kids from our neighbourhood. We all ran into our lines, ready to be welcomed into a neat classroom as the bell rang.

“Good morning students! My name is Ms Gonsha, I will be your teacher.” Little Lunch Reference.

The teacher started calling the roll, and after we started our first lesson: Art.

Paint few here, pencils shreddings were being emptied in the bins, glue was being eaten, crayons were being snapped in half.

“Art is my favourite subject” You stated happily to Mark. You and Mark had grown close to each other since the first day they met, they were a troublemaking duo, partners in crime.

“Mark! Come sit with us!” Y/n called over.

It was lunch-time and Mark was sitting on the swing-sets alone, eating his chicken sandwich. You ran over, grabbing his wrist and lunch box, dragging him back to your lunch table with all your other friends.

After you all finished eating, you played tiggy with all the other kids until it was home time.

Highschool - Junior years, a place with a cess-pool full of moody and rowdy kids:

“Boys are better than girls!! We’re stronger!”

“Wrong! Strength doesn’t make someone better! It’s obvious that girls are way better!”

Here we go again, the groups are fighting over the lunch tables. Mark could see that you weren’t having much fun in this, and neither was he. Mark wanted to get out ASAP. Sneaking over, he tugged your uniform. Grabbing your arm, he pulled you away and sitting you under a tree.

“It sucks that you’re taller than me, you’re a girl!”

“Nah, you just haven’t had your growth spurt yet.” You loved teasing Mark with your height, it was typical for girls to be taller than most boys at this age, after all, you just hit puberty.

You and Mark had kept your distance during your time in 7 to 9th grade. Everyone always seems to think that someone was dating even if they were JUST friends.

Finally, Senior year of highschool. We’re almost mature and fully grown adults, graduation on our minds:

It wasn’t a surprise that you two got shipped a lot in school. Almost the entire year level knew you guys were the best of best friends. It was obvious too, you two were the clowns of the class.

However, that was when you found out you had a disease in your cardiovascular system. A sickness that affects the function of the human heart that could lead to the grave, if not treated. Nobody knew this, not even Mark, only the people in your family.

The first time you found out, you were crushed, devastated.

Mark was always there by your side though. He never knew the reason for why you were also so upset, tired or growing weak so suddenly. It took a while to pull you out of your hole of misery, but he did.

Through this journey, you learnt many things about appreciation, value and time. You experienced many emotions, most of which were new to you. However, one emotion struck you hard.

This emotion or ‘feeling’ is the driver of passion, anger, desire, lust, insanity or spirit within many people.

This feeling is known no other than ‘love’.

Which one day lead to you leaving a secret love letter in a special someone’s locker on Valentine’s Day.

University and College, we’ve been separated, but we were only a few blocks away from each other. Is this fate that we’ve been together for so long?:

Laughing filled the dorm room.

“HAHAHAHAHA, STOP IT NOW MY STOMACH HURTS.” one of your colleagues yelled. You just cracked one your all-time joke, the best joke you had used since you were young.

Life was good, well, except for the fact that you still had the heart disease and still never told Mark how you really felt about him. It was too late for that now.

Since you guys were separated into different study centres, he managed to find a girlfriend. Well, the girlfriend found him really. It hit you hard the moment he told you, but you were happy for him, even though you felt a BIT bitter. read: very

The future - the one thing no one can correctly predict, nor can they promise success or failure. This powerful thing contains the fate that could send you to the streets or lead you to your dreams:

You were happy, we had your dream job, moved overseas and you were still young. Mark had made it into SM Entertainment. He is in a group called NCT. Not only did he debut but he did it THREE times, too!(and possibly more in future). Another thing was that he wasn’t dating anymore, the girl he went out with turned out to be a mongrel.

Cliché or not, she was a backstabber and used him to get what she wanted: to make her ex jealous. Leaving Mark dangling with insincere memories.

You still loved him. You still looked at him with all the love in the world. All the love the universe could give you. The pure, innocent, puppy love waaaay back in highschool.

Halfway through the year, you got an emergency call to go to the hospital.

“Miss (your last name), I’m afraid your heart can’t take it anymore, you still have long left. We estimate you to only live 1 more year unless we find a matching heart donor.” the doctor said in a stern tone.

There. That was the moment. The sentences that made the cookie crumble.

You broke down, your life was perfect the way it was, a loving best friend, a wonderful job, a beautiful home. What did you do to deserve this?

Later that week, you manage to find courage. After getting a grip on yourself, you decided to go to Mark’s dorm to tell him the long-awaited news.

3 knocks on the door were all it took for you to suddenly hear someone storming to the door, flinging it open.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?!!” Mark screamed. You saw that he had tears on his flushed, rosy cheeks, glassy, swollen eyes and red tinted nose. You glanced behind him, seeing a wire bin, filled with squishy tissues, probably from runny snot and tears.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to–”

“I AM YOUR FRIEND. No. YOUR BEST FRIEND. FOR HOW MANY YEARS?! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD TELL ME THESE THINGS!” you’ve never seen Mark like this in a long time. He was broken, roaring out all his bottled anger and frustration. 

You were about to say something when he embraced you in a tight grasp.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being there, I’m sorry for yelling….” you felt your shoulder getting wet, and lead him. Sitting him down on the sofa.

You calmed him down and consulted him. You lightened the mood a little by telling Mark his favourite joke. Light sounds of laughter were heard throughout the night.

Mark decided to let you stay at the dorms for the night.

You only had 3 months left, I promise to give you everything, even if it kills me:

You had never felt so alive for so long. Mark had shown you places you never thought you’d see, both physically and spiritually. Nothing was on your mind but what was happening at the moment. Mark had taught you how to live - to live in the present and not worry about the future or dwell in the past.

After the many adventures, the both of you had been on, Mark said that he had to start promoting with NCT again. You hadn’t seen him for almost 2 months. The first month he had some issues to sort out with his company, before meeting you again. However, it was only a short visit before he had to return to Canada to visit his family. Staying there for 1 month.

You received a letter from the hospital, saying that you were blessed. They had finally found a heart donor that matches you!! You were so happy and in complete bliss. You wanted to call Mark and tell him about the notice, but he didn’t pick up. You tried again for the next few days, he still never picked up.

The night sky shone through the window as you laid in the hospital bed. You checked your phone one last time before you decided to sleep. Then you realized Mark had finally contacted you by text.

Mark: I’m so sorry y/n, I won’t be able to make it to you on time. I hope surgery will go smoothly. Trust my heart.

I’m sorry, last goodbyes are always difficult. Please know that I’ll be watching over you:

The day finally came. You were getting your heart transplant. As you entered the operation room, you were scared, but you thought of the text Mark sent, it calmed you just a little.

When you healed, the first place you went to was Mark’s dorm. You continued knocking. Until a very sleepy Haechan swung open the door.

“Who are you, and why do you have to visit us at such an ungODLY HOUR on the weEKENDS!”

“MorNING HAECHAN!! Is Mark here?!”

No answer.

You cocked your head at Haechan’s reaction. Usually, he would’ve given you a snide remark or joke about what Mark was up to. However, this time he lowered his head. Shuffling back inside, leaving the door wide open for you to come in.

You run in the living room, not a sign of Mark. Just Jaehyun, Doyoung and Taeil watching a movie. They turned to you, Doyoung opened his mouth to say something but you heard someone call out in the kitchen. Waving politely to the three boys sitting on the couch, you headed towards the kitchen.

“Hi Taeyong, Yuta, Winwin! How are you all?”

“Hi y/n! Back so soon? Shouldn’t you be resting after your surgery?” Taeyong asked, surprised by your greeting.

“It’s all good! The doctors said that I’m fully recovered and that I should be good to go.” You happy replied.

Taeyong smiled, “That’s good! Oh, can you pass those bowl to Sicheng and Yuta? They’ve been starving all day.” yuwin

“Sure thing.” You went over to Taeyong and carefully carried the 2 bowls of steaming phở to Yuta and Winwin, who were sitting on the kitchen bench.

“Thanks, y/n!” They said in unison, before starting to scoff down the food.

“Oh! By the way, do you guys know where Mark is?” You curiously asked.

Just before you finished talking, Yuta started choking on the rice noodles, causing Sicheng to panic.yuwin Taeyong spun around, accidentally knocking over the bowl full of water and bean sprouts.

“Ah- y/n, did he not tell you?” Taeyong suddenly asked, not caring about the mess he made on the floor.

“Whats all the commotion about?” Before you could even form a response, Johnny rushed into the kitchen, “Is everything okay in here guys?... and Y/n?”

There was a long silence, the tension began building up slowly.

Taeyong bent down and started cleaning up, “Well, we were on the topic about... Mark.”

Johnny’s face dropped. His usual cheery attitude seemed to have faded away. “Oh.”

You couldn’t take it anymore, you were confused and frustrated. You now had a bad feeling growing in your gut, “Guys! I just want to know where Mark is! Did something bad happened to him while I was gone?? I’m lost...”

Straightening himself up, Taeyong signalled to Johnny to clean up whatever was left of the mess on the floor.

“Come with me, y/n.”

Slowly, you were guided into his room, then left alone. You slowly twisted the knob.

It was completely different to the last time you saw it. Lifeless, boxes stacked in neat towers, the bed covered with a large plastic sheet. His roommate, Haechan, no longer was in the room and had probably moved into a different room with another member.

You walked around the room, observing everything closely. Everything was packed up, either wrapped or boxed. You passed his desktop. His phone laid there alongside his laptop and headphones. What seemed like hundreds of pages, containing messy scribbles of passionate lyrics and doodles, stacked neatly in a pile.

You tip-toed over to his bed. No blanket or pillow, just the bare mattress covered by a plastic wrap. You checked under his bed, feeling more sentimental than ever.

There you saw his beloved guitar. His favourite pair of sneakers and a shoe box. However, that caught your eye was the shoe box. It had a ribbon hanging out from it. Letting your curiosity taking over the best of you, you carefully pulled out the box.

You picked it up carefully and placed it on his bed. Warily opening the lid, you were presented with a number of items the box contained. You looked through the many polaroids of Mark and the other NCT members. Some of them have cute little messages written behind them. Then you found a framed portrait of him in Canada, posing with his family during Christmas.

You smiled warmly, he was always close to his family and loved them dearly. You placed the frame down next to the box with the utmost care and continued exploring through the box.

You then found another framed portrait, this time it contained you and Mark. You stretched your head, thinking of they he would frame such a photo like this. It was taken on the day that he officially debuted, when ‘The 7th Sense’ was finally released to the world. In the picture, Mark was giving you a piggyback, your hair wild and tossed from the wind.

Putting that portrait down next to the one of his family. You gave one last look in the box again, seeing a familiar red card. Picking up the card, you opened it. Skimming through the message inside it, you realised that it was the same love letter you wrote to him in high school. But you noticed there was more writing on the back. This time, with Mark’s handwriting;

Hello, my wonderful Y/N!!

If you’re reading this, it must mean that the surgery went well! :D

Haha, jokes aside, I’m sorry I wasn't there to see you going in but I hope you weren’t too nervous. I’m so, so sorry, be happy and smile for me okay?

This love letter... I always knew this letter was from you y/n, I always had. I’m not as dumb as you think I am ;)

I loved you since 7th grade and wanted to confess to you so so so badly for all these years. But I was a coward I guess. A chicken, a fool, a dullard, call me whatever you want, but when I heard you had that heart disease, I wanted to make it up to you. So I made it my goal to get rid of it.

I searched for the perfect heart donor. I searched, I really did, far and wide to find one. But perhaps I’m just unlucky because I never found one. However, after I became an idol, I had to do health checks. When I got my results back, I was shocked to see that we had a match!

I informed my company and needed to visit my parents to confirm my decision, it took a while, but here we are.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, yes, I am your heart donor. Jeez Y/n, I thought you were smarter than that.

I may not have been the perfect best friend or your maybe future husband/boyfriend, but I least I can be with you to the end of time.

My heart will keep you going! So please, look after it and look after the boys of NCT! I’ll miss you... I hope you’ll miss me too...

From your dearest, Mark Lee♡

Fucking idk whether to cry or cringe.

[wereflamingo]

Self-Insert

My submission for the wolfstar introvert prompt: Internet Crush

Huge thanks to @nachodiablo and @mirgaxus for the beta and the support!

Summary: Remus and Sirius both write self-insert fics in the same fandom. One day Sirius asks to borrow Remus's OC for his new fic. What could he possibly be planning, and what is the mystery pairing he promised to introduce?

Read it here or on AO3

Padfoot was a very popular writer in the Double Trouble fandom. His OC, Orion, had long, sleek black hair, piercing grey eyes, and cheekbones that could cut glass. Orion liked to wear crop tops, leather jackets and combat boots, as well as numerous sassy pride pins. In some stories he just hung out with the prankster YouTuber twins, but usually he dated Fabian, the member of the duo who was rumored to be gay. The stories were filled with cheeky innuendo, and the occasional euphemistic sex scene. Truth be told, Remus had a bit of a crush on Orion - how could he not? He knew most of the readers did, because they said so, in all caps, in the comments section.

Remus also wrote fics in the Double Trouble fandom, under the nickname Moony, but he wasn't nearly as popular. His OC, Romulus, also usually dated Fabian, although in one fic it was Fabian's brother Gideon who was secretly gay and fell for the shy OC. Remus didn't describe Romulus's appearance much, only stating he had light brown hair and looked very average, but his best friend, Daisy, who appeared in all the stories, assured him he was totally cute. He did always mention Romulus's shyness, bookishness, and inexperience.

Romulus was just naturally uninterested in fooling around, focusing on finding The One. In some stories he'd never even kissed anyone. Remus felt like the story was cleaner that way, even though he himself had actually dated Lily, whom Daisy was based on, for two whole weeks.

Once, feeling brave, he decided to actually put his “relationship” with Lily in the story. It served as a way for Romulus to find out he didn’t like girls, because he was supposed to be attracted to her, but wasn't. Remus himself wasn’t actually sure he didn’t like girls, but he figured a totally gay character would be more relatable, as well as more attractive to a confident older guy like Fabian. He let Romulus feel confused for a while, just to make it interesting, before Fabian swept him off his feet and showed him how gay he actually was.

It was this story that got him his first comment from the one and only Padfoot.

Great story, man. I loved the confusion over Daisy and Fabian. Did you consider that Romulus might be bi or pan though? Not saying he has to be, just that while we all know Fab is hot enough turn any guy, even he can't put a guy off girls entirely if he's into them.

His heart beating fast, Remus wrote a reply: 

Haha, yeah. He could be bi. I mean Daisy's not the only girl in the world. But right now he obviously has a strong preference for men, and one especially. ;)

Thanks for commenting!

Over the next few months, Padfoot commented on all of Remus's fics, and on every new chapter of his WiP. He even followed Remus back on Tumblr, after months of Remus following him. Occasionally he messaged Remus, although the conversation usually fizzled quickly since Remus had no idea what to say. Remus consoled himself with Padfoot's frequent likes on his posts, which never failed to put a goofy grin on Remus’s face.

And then the fandom exploded. It came out that Fabian was dating Caradoc Dearborn, a popular and rather attractive game reviewer. Some fans were excited about the new ship, but others mourned, especially those whose OCs were paired with Fabian. Padfoot, however, announced on his blog that he was writing a new story, which was Fabidoc, and also contained a new pairing. Remus clicked like. Orion and Gideon would be hot together. A minute later, he was surprised to see a message from Padfoot.

padfoot hey moony

moony Hi?

padfoot what's up? listen i wanted to ask you smtg

moony Sure

padfoot can i borrow romulus for a story i'm working on? 

moony Er, sure. What for?

padfoot you'll see 

Unlike most of Padfoot's stories, the new story turned out to be a slow burn. It was an AU set in a college, and the first few chapters were mostly Fabian and Orion being flirty gossipy gay best friends, and Gideon being straight and exasperated. Caradoc showed up in chapter two, but only hung out with Gideon, barely giving Fabian a glance. There were some crazy plans cooked up by Orion and Fabian (with occasional input from Gideon, who just couldn't help himself) to get Caradoc's attention on Fabian, all failing spectacularly, but there was no love interest for Orion himself.

Remus was stalking Padfoot's face tag (he looked just like he described Orion, although Remus wondered if the eyes were photoshopped), when he received an email notification from AO3. "Padfoot just posted chapter 5 of The Moon to My Stars," it said. Excited, he clicked the link.

And there he was. Romulus was the cute hipster working in the library, described at length from his soft brown curls to his scuffed trainers. Orion only had time to ask his name before he had to dash, throwing one last wink at him, narrowly escaping a furious Gideon, whom he had locked in a bathroom stall so that Fabian could go meet Caradoc in his stead.

Remus thought false imprisonment, of a friend no less, was rather excessive just to get your friend a date. He was about to click the back button, disappointed, but his eye was drawn to the next paragraph, where Fabian was relating how Caradoc had recognized him immediately and saved him from trying to pretend to be Gid. Apparently Fabian was having second thoughts about the plan, because what do you know, some people don't want to start a relationship based on lies. He was extremely pleased that Caradoc  had recognized him, though, considering he and Gideon were identical twins and most people couldn't tell them apart. Remus thought it was very romantic, even though he himself had memorized the freckle patterns of both twins and could tell them apart easily.

The story rolled faster from there. In chapter six, Fabian refused to listen to any more plans. His new plan, to Orion's chagrin, was to stop playing around and be direct. It seemed to work for him, as he managed to make plans alone with Caradoc (which he insisted were not a date, because nobody said so directly, but obviously were). Orion, dragged away by Gid when he tried to spy on them, and then ditched in favor of football practice, wandered into the library, bored. Of course, there he met Romulus again. Remus thought the description of Romulus's laugh was a bit gratuitous, as was Orion's random stretching, like he didn't wear crop tops half the time anyway.

The chapter ended there, leaving Remus a little confused. Was Orion flirting with Romulus? Just then, he heard a pop sound. He had a message from Padfoot on Tumblr.

padfoot have you read my new chapter?

moony Yeah, just finished it, very cute Are we going to see Fab and Doc's date though?

padfoot nope orion's not there if he doesn't get to see it then neither do you

moony You can change POV just for that?

padfoot meh tbh they're a side pairing

moony What do you mean?

padfoot moony, do you want to maybe beta the next chapter? it's nearly done

moony Alright Are you going to answer my question? 

padfoot nope i'm sending you a google docs link in half an hour 

padfoot here: [link] 

moony Padfoot! 

padfoot moony! did you like it? 

moony Yes, but Isn't Orion basically you? 

padfoot yeah 

moony And you realize Romulus is me, right? 

padfoot lol yes i figured hoped 

moony So... 

padfoot so? 

moony So you paired our characters together in your fic 

padfoot yep! ^__^

moony Your gorgeous sexy OC and my dorky OC. 

padfoot rom's not dorky ok he's a little dorky, but in a cute way also thanks :D since we've established orion's actually me glad you think i'm gorgeous and sexy

moony Padfoot

padfoot because i've been trying to get your attention for months

moony Wait, what? Months? 

padfoot yes, months i've reblogged every one of your rare selfies i've commented on every chapter you posted i recced you on my blog and now i went and did this very nearly in public i mean anyone reading mtms knows where this is going but at least this chapter isn't posted on there so i could maybe i dunno abandon the fic if you don't like me back

moony What do you mean everyone knows where it's going? I didn't know where it was going! 

padfoot how?? they were obviously flirting i mean it's a fic they always get together in the end also it's called the moon to my stars ffs 

moony It wasn't obvious to me I mean I suspected but I wasn't sure 

padfoot oh my god and here i thought you p much hated me or weren't even reading because i'm boring or you think i'm a perv or smtg

moony Hey, I left kudos! 

padfoot yeah, back when i posted ch 1 i thought maybe you stopped reading 

moony No, definitely not Sorry, I just get anxious when I try to comment 

padfoot no no, i'm not trying to guilt you about not commenting that's totally fine 

moony Okay 

padfoot ffs moony, will you please put me out of my misery already? do you like me back or not?? 

moony You were the one who pointed out that I pretty much said I thought you were gorgeous and sexy 

padfoot okay but you could still hate my personality 

moony Is your personality like Orion's?

padfoot yes no he's the best of me and some of the not best too actually i make terrible decisions but they're amusing so i left that in but also we've been talking why do you need my oc to figure me out

moony I may have been a little star struck for most of our interactions You have tons of followers I have like five 

padfoot i don't believe that 

moony What, that I have five followers? Fine, I have 45. So many, aren't you amazed? Also your selfies are amazing and I'm a potato 

padfoot you are not look, i actually like you i really hope you can look past the fandom celeb and just see me 

moony Okay, I have an idea They have this date in chapter 8, right? Let's co write it Like, roleplay it 

padfoot moony are you asking me out on a date??? that’s the best idea i've ever heard 

moony Technically neither of us will be going out, but yeah, I guess I am? 

padfoot ooh we can do it on skype then we can dress up for it 

moony .... You just want to wear a crop top and fluster me, don't you? 

padfoot good idea but we'll be sitting down anyway so you won't see it i'll have to put on makeup and fluster you 

moony Okay we can talk about the details later, I gotta make a couple of corrections in your chapter 

moony Okay, all done 

padfoot yay! ^__^ 

padfoot er, moony? 

moony Yes? 

padfoot why are all your corrections related to rom checking out orion's butt? 

moony ^_____^

padfoot don't use my emoticon against me

moony You haven't finished reading yet, have you? Keep going

padfoot oh my god they kiss romulus kisses orion moony you are perfect i'm keeping you

moony Hehe Please do <3

And they lived happily ever after, and got a shout out in the next Double Trouble video because Padfoot's fans ratted them out. The End.

[kaaras-adaar-a]

Kaaras and Romance.

// I said I was going to write up some important details when it comes to romance, so here I am. :3 

First off, it should be known that Kaaras works off chemistry! This is non negotiable. I will NOT force him to ship with someone he doesn’t have chemistry with and doesn’t like. It doesn’t mean me, as the mod, may not think it’s a really cute idea (I’m a ship whore), but I will not force him into anything he doesn’t want to do. I’ve done this before, and let me tell you, it was all kinds of fucked up, and it ended in severe misery and the whole thing turned out bad. So yeah... besides being a decent person to my muse’s wishes, there is also severe reason behind this choice. 

What you need to know is that Kaaras needs time. If you want to develop a romance with Kaaras, then that is what it will require: development. Development doesn’t just mean skype/discord chatter amongst ourselves (although that can help). What it means is:

Communication between muses -- this needs to be at a comfortable constant as it does with RL people. Meeting twice is not grounds to fall in love, meeting a few times over comfortable periods of time is definitely needed to develop a crush.

Time spent with muses -- this means quiet and quality time. Time to get to KNOW each other. Not just orders here and there, but actually getting to quietly speak and chatter with each other.

Chemistry is obviously a must still -- Some people have it, some people don’t. If your muse has a crush on Kaaras, that’s fine, but if he’s not feeling it, don’t pressure him. 

REAL LIFE TIME -- Threads don’t just end in one day, some threads go over weeks long. The more time he spends with your muse over a literal day or hours or weeks or whatever, the more comfortable he will be with your muse. We can have multiple threads going, that’s fine, but real life time is essential. Also, none of this skipping and darting around. Kaaras needs to ESTABLISH a real relationship with your muse. If he’s one thread at the beginning of a relationship and then the next they’re already 6 months in a relationship? Not going to work. What HAPPENED in those 6 months? How did they treat each other? Did they get closer? HE DOESN’T KNOW, and this actually freaks him the fuck out and he doesn’t know or understand. He needs control and order. If we’re skipping around it’s chaos and it makes him uncomfortable. This is what I mean by REAL time. A FLOW of time, communication and development being established. He needs to grow with your character. Because that’s what happens, each of them will grow from one another and that’s development. :) 

Kaaras may crush quickly, and we’re both aware of this. It does NOT mean that this crush will develop into love. What it means is that he has some strong feelings towards your muse that 100% have the potential to disappear. A crush is never solid, a crush is an infatuation, and it is a bit of an addiction with Kaaras, because it’s something that makes him feel alive, an adrenaline rush and even arousal. It’s a pleasant feeling in the middle off the hell that is being Inquisitor. 

In saying that, of course it absolutely has the potential to become more than a crush and a well established and developed relationship. But only time will tell.

Kaaras is shy and private. He will flirt with your muse, and often does just with people he considers friends. However, if there is a real show of interest back, take note that he might be surprised and that’s when all the coyness settles in. Kaaras’ self esteem is pretty damn low when it comes to himself, and most of the time he’s oblivious and doesn’t think anyone would be romantically attracted to him. It doesn’t stop him from flirting and it doesn’t stop him from still making moves. He is shy, but he is also a determined individual, and if he does get wind that your muse likes him romantically, he will be sure to voice himself on his thoughts and opinion. Kaaras isn’t the kind of person to let things sit and miss an opportunity, he WILL let his feelings be known. 

One thing to keep in mind is that if Kaaras and your muse end up in a romantic relationship, sex will never come first. Kaaras isn’t innocent, he’s spent a fair few of his younger years getting up to some trouble, but he’s never gone the full way and considers himself a virgin. You will never get sex out of Kaaras until he’s READY. Don’t think going in for smut is going to be easy. XD Kaaras is exceptionally slow with going the full way until he is comfortable with your muse. He may be good at using his hands or oral, but when it comes to going the full way, he fumbles, he’s not confident, and he may even need guidance from your muse. 

Please take note that I will ALWAYS treat these as realistic as possible (as I do with all of my writing). It will be awkward, it won’t be all hot and smutty and whatever you expect from a romance novel. Accidents will happen, embarrassing things will happen, and please keep in mind Kaaras’ PSAS that very well affects his sex life, meaning it will affect your muses sex life with him (if we’re Rping, then you should already be aware of what this condition is as it’s in my rules--a quick Google search on Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome/Disorder will suffice as well :3 ). 

Next on the list is Kaaras’ preferences. First off, Kaaras is pansexual and panromantic. He will date all genders of all species. Please read THIS POST about Kaaras and women however, as it goes into some depths about humans, specifically. That way I don’t need to repeat myself here. 

Kaaras is generally pretty easy on the male side of things, and he absolutely has a preference and a weakness for older men. Anyone who is a good 7-8 years older than him and plus, can be quite an instant attraction for him. This is pretty personal to him, and it is due to some psychological things. His father died at 12, no male role model, wanting to please, etc, etc. If I make a meta about that, then I’ll make one, for now, I won’t go too in depth with it. It is just something that should be known, especially for those who have older male muses. 

AGE MATTERS to Kaaras. Please note that Kaaras RARELY dates people who are 25 and below (he is 29 as Inquisitor), and even 25 sometimes he sees too young (he’s yet to break this rule, so I just let people know). I am not entirely sure WHY he is like this (it could be to do with his preference of older muses, I am not 100% certain). If your muse is younger than 23, though, he simply does not look for a potential romantic relationship with them, it doesn’t even OCCUR to him. Those thoughts are not for people that younger than him. He seems to be very strict on this rule, though. I do say that chemistry is chemistry, and if he does happen to break this rule, then... he breaks it. It’s not up to ME. It’s just something he does. But ever since I’ve Rped him, Kaaras has never broken this rule yet, so it’s something I pretty much put out there as a warning for people who are looking to romance Kaaras. If your muse is below this age limit, the chances are going to be slim to outright nil. 

It’s not that he sees your muse as immature or a child, the age gap just makes him uncomfortable, despite enjoying such older muses. *shrugs* If your muse is young and gets a crush on him, I’m not going to stop them from crushing on him, you be true to your muse :3. Just know that Kaaras most likely will not see them in such a manner, and will be baffled if they tell him. He might even avoid them depending on how much younger they are. Don’t take this as an “I don’t want to RP with you” because that’s not it, lol. Kaaras deserves to have friends as well as lovers. And if I like your muse, then I absolutely still would love to RP with you. :) 

It is important to know what also attracts Kaaras to a person. Generally, if your muse is a nice, caring, selfless and gentle person, then those are some pretty easy ways to get Kaaras’ attention. 

If your muse is an arsehole, enjoys killing for pleasure/sport, and is an overall bad and negative person, then there’s no real chance of him liking your muse. Assassins seem to get this a lot, and he is REALLY iffy on assassin muses, because they are essentially killing for gold (a mercenary and an assassin are NOT the same thing, and if you try and compare Kaaras’ job to an assassin he will lecture the shit out of you XD). 

Please know that as Inquisitor, Kaaras is ALREADY under an immense amount of stress. He needs his alone time, he needs his Kaaras time, he needs to just worry about himself every now and again and be ALONE. As much as he loves his LI and wants to be with them, he is not and never will be entirely dependant on them. in fact, often Kaaras is perfectly fine in his solitude. He doesn’t like being lonely, but he doesn’t mind being alone. He will need his independence. If your muse ends up being incredibly clingy and overall unhappy and needy and taking up all his energy, and puts more pressure on Kaaras, chances are that his feelings may change after a while.

Lastly, I want it to be known that feelings CAN and WILL change. Kaaras has gone head strong into some relationships and rushed into them without thinking, and in the end, I’ve had to deal with the consequences, and Kaaras has had to break up with muses. 

For one, don’t think this is because I no longer like your muse, this is KAARAS’ doing. It’s NOT mine. I may even still totally ship them! I may still love them and think they’re adorable, but Kaaras’ feelings DO change. Don’t hate him because of that. He’s only a person, and all of our feelings change. Relationships grow and relationships fall. Mainly, it’s because he’s rushed into it, and basically there’s been no real development, and once he realises, he freaks the fuck out and panics on me, and I have to deal with it all. So yeah, it’s a pain in the arse, but don’t put more pressure on me by trying to guilt trip either of us. That only leads to an extremely bitter Kaaras, and you don’t want to go down that path, it’s really not pretty. Mod gets over things very quickly, but if you keep digging that hole, Kaaras will down right end up hating with a passion. You’re all pretty decent folks, though, I don’t expect that to happen <3 

Just be aware that feelings do change, and time and development is something very important and basically essential if you want to romance Kaaras. Not everyone will get to romance him, and that’s okay! Kaaras still likes having friends. :) And it’s important to have friendships with other muses, not just all LIs! 

I THINK I’ve covered most? If there’s anything else, just hook me up and a huge thanks for anyone who took the time to read this, it got way longer than I anticipated! 

[ayalynn]

I Just Got Out Of The Dentist and Have A Face Full of Anesthesia That I Need To Burn Off.

I think there’s this deeper part of me that like loves the idea of sex and all of the different ways you can have it. I mean there are just SO many things, and while I would really like to open up to my boyfriend about experimenting I don’t feel comfortable doing it or even owning up to wanting to do anything different. I can’t just be like HEY I REALLY WANNA TRY ------- OR ---------. Like I can’t even fucking type it. I am an old lady and this old lady is tired of the same old sex because it’s not fun or magical or whatever the fuck anymore, it’s “Boy cums, and now we’re done.” I mean sometimes I do too, but I fake it a lot too just because that’s easier than saying “well you had me for a minute there but then I dunno, you lost me.” PLUS I mean, I can’t imagine ever doing anything like a threesome because I’d get jealous and slap a bitch. lol

But see this is just me avoiding what I really want to talk about.

The boy and I haven’t been doing so hot lately, but I suppose this was news to him until a week ago when I was just so fed up I stopped acting all happy. 

Well, that’s not really what happened. It’s hard to explain. But lately I’ve just felt like he doesn’t want to be with me. I mean he can tell me he loves me until he’s blue in the face, and he spends time with me, but honestly none of that is by choice; we work in the same place( which I think is a stupid argument anyway because it is very rare that I actually see him at work.) and we live together. But I don’t feel like he’s there. He never seems to want to do much with me and if we do anything he acts like he doesn’t want to do it and can’t wait to go back to doing whatever he was doing before. I dunno.

I feel like I’m the one who is to blame for this because I isolated myself. I don’t have any friends or anyone that I trust. I shy away from people and I am just generally an unfriendly person. The former Disney employee that still sleeps in my brain is incredibly upset about the new me. I’ve vested all of my love and energy into Connor and my family (if I make time for anyone anymore, it’s for them). Oh, and my cat. But I don’t have have friends. That’s not a thing and hasn’t been for a while. I have an overbearing roommate who I avoid because she upsets me. But she doesn’t care about me, even when I did tolerate her, because if I did ever talk to her about anything, she would somehow make it all about her and her misery, and I would say that it made me feel good to be someone she could talk to, but I’d hear her telling literally everyone else on the fucking planet the same story she told me. Like word for word. 

Well anyway, Connor and I were having an argument on the way home from Tampa (we went to guardiancon) and I was already feeling shitty because while he was checking me in at security and doing the little TSA shit, the guard said “well you’re a big little lady ain’t you? Mmmhmm. Big little girl.” Like.... what the FUCK was that supposed to mean anyway... it upset me because I couldn’t figure it out and because Connor didn’t seem to give a fuck. But I expressed to him that I was upset and I tried telling him I felt like he didn’t love me anymore and all I got from the conversation was that he thought I was pissed because we didn’t have sex on our vacation. Like WELL YEA A LITTLE BIT BUT WE HAVEN'T IN FOREVER SO I’M OVER IT. So I had been like all pissy or whatever, and then we get home and he decides that he wants to confront my attitude. And honestly the conversation was a blur and my head is fuzzy rn anyways. (I really hope I’m typing in complete sentences). 

But I can remember what he said a little. He said that the reason he doesn’t want to be around me and why we haven’t been intimate is because all he ever hears from me are negative things about myself. All this self hatred, that he can’t help but to see what I see. Which like.. you never remember what it feels like, but each time it happens, you’re like “oh so THIS is why they call it heartbreak, because I can literally feel this unbearable tightening pain in my chest and it honestly just hurts so bad.” I had come to the realization, in that moment, that the one person who made me feel like slightly decent  in any way was telling me he saw through my own eyes. And no one hates me more than I hate me. I look at myself and I want to die. This whole isolation bullshit has stemmed from literally being too embarrassed and upset with myself to appear in front of people. So if my boyfriend is telling me he sees what I see then no FUCKING wonder he doesn’t love me anymore. And it’s my own fault.

Ever since then I’ve done everything I can to avoid confrontation and to hide from him. Because I hurt and if I tell him how much that hurt then that won’t help to change his point of view. But now there’s this lack of trust. Like I don’t respond to him anymore. I don’t let him do anything for me, I am never just walking around in my underwear, I don’t lay on him when we sleep like I have been for the last 3, 4, something years, I don’t send him snapchats of myself, or text him if I don’t have to, I don’t kiss him just to kiss him. And he KNOWS because he gave me flowers (something he hasn’t done since my birthday two months ago and before that who the fuck knows.) He said he wanted to go on a super fun getaway date, but I honestly not only do not think it will happen (LITERALLY every date we’ve ever been on something he said we were gonna do he didn’t or I ended up paying for something even though I told him off the bat I couldn’t afford it and he told me he had it covered and it ended up not being true).He disappoints me a lot, and now I am more disappointed than ever, but in both of us. I mean, we were supposed to get married. You can’t marry someone you don’t even like to look at. He’s my whole world and I love him so much but I do not know how to fix this right now. And who ever heard of a revenge body for someone you are currently dating? 

I should have fucking known. We went to a sex shop because I’d never been and I was attempting to woo him I guess. And there were all these pretty outfits and I said which one would you rather see me in? And he was like, and I quote “honestly I would rather not have any of it. I just want to get right to the point, you know”? 

And that, ladies and gentleman, is why he only lasts four minutes anyways. 

But really though, this IS all my fault and I know this, because I literally sabotage everything good in my life. 

Everything.