#and a group of friend watched me maul like 7-8 of them at lunch

[clanoffelidae]

Having non-binary dysphoria is fucking weird bc it’s like

Brain: don’t like this body

Me: okay do you want a male one?

Brain: that’s even worse

Me: okay so what do you want???

Brain: not this one

[jimlingss]

Jungle Park [8]

Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 8.5 OR Chapter 9

➜ Words: 7.4k

➜ Genres: Fluff, Light Humour (?), Slice of Life, Workplace Romance!AU

➜ Summary: The equation is simple. Hoseok needs to hire someone. You need a job. Except like any actual equation, it’s not fucking simple at all! Not when you have to add the fact that he was forced to hire someone he doesn’t want in his office, he has little respect for your job in general, and oh yeah...once upon a time you might have—*CENSORED*.

To be fair — this wasn’t your idea.   You’re actually not that big on exercise, even if you do enjoy nature from time to time. Plus, the last time you actually worked out was probably back in high school. After you got hit in the face with a flying soccer ball, that was when you decided that sports, working out, and exercise in general weren’t for you.   You swear you can still see the indent of the soccer ball in your cheek if you squint enough in the mirror.   So the employees of the firm shouldn’t be so upset with you. If anything, they should sympathize since you’re hiding your true feelings and plastering a giant smile on your face to bring up the group morale. If they want someone to blame….they should blame Jimin.   But no one would blame sweet, kind Jimin. Not you. Not even Hoseok.   “I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Seulgi mutters while staring out the windows as the sceneries pass. She watches the bus’ shadow on the road and feels every bump of the wheels, the long vehicle shaking.   “Oh c’mon, guys!” Jimin stands up in front and turns around, leaning forward on the seat to look at everyone. It’s a pleasant sight to see all his employees in their casual clothes and not the suffocating professional dress code. “It’s the firm’s tradition — the annual team-building-slash-workplace-retreat! It’s going to be so much fun!”   There’s silence. No one seems impressed with the advertisement and you glance across the aisle to where Hoseok is sitting by himself, tapping on his phone, texting while glancing at his watch every so often. He doesn’t contribute to the conversation, preoccupied with work that he somehow prepared in advance during the bus ride. You’re sitting next to Jimin, having discussed the plans for the day.   “I should’ve just skipped or called in sick,” Sunyi murmurs and there’s a hum of agreement that ripples through the group.   “And I would’ve found out.” Jimin smiles happily and it’s creepy when it never quite reaches his crinkled eyes. Then, he sighs. “It’s just a hike! It’s a simple foot trail! And we have lunch for everyone!”   “There’s no trail,” Namjoon suddenly pipes up and everyone, except Hoseok, turns around in their seats to gawk at the legal assistant.   Jungkook’s eyes are wide. “What?”   “I did research. We’re going up a mountain. It’s really intense. They say it’s for experienced hikers.” Namjoon says these things while his expression remains impassive, irises dead, looking out the window like he’s accepted his fate and there’s no way he can fight it. He is utterly hopeless. “It’ll take four hours to go up and four hours to go down. Eight hours of hiking.”   “Dear lord.” Naul is wearing completely black sunglasses, so you aren’t able to read her expression. She leans her head back in the comfortable seat of the bus, maybe to take a nap and conserve her energy.   Jimin bores his eyes at you for help. Part of you doesn’t want anything to do with this, but it’s also your job to boost office morale. So, you stand up, turning around to them. “It’s not that bad! Jimin and I looked into it and we don’t need to go up to the peak of the mountain. The view is already beautiful half-way up and there’s a sightseeing place with picnic tables where we can eat! It’s going to be great! Imagine going to bed tonight and being able to say you climbed a mountain!”   Yoongi’s mouth twitches. “I want to go to bed tonight alive.”   “Can’t exercise, Min?” Sunyi pesters him from across her aisle.   He shifts to her. “Oh trust me, I burn enough calories every night, Lee.”   “What’s that supposed to mean?” The female lawyer lifts her brow.   And he merely smirks, the corner of his lips tugging. “You know exactly what I mean.”   Without waiting or letting another word be spoken, you step in before it spirals into another set of complaints. That and Yoongi is on the borderline of sexual harassment and the last thing you need is to host a private seminar for him...again. Hence, you clear your throat loudly and catch their attention. “We’ll take plenty of breaks and play plenty of team-building games! You won’t even realize time is passing.”   “I kind of need to pee,” Jungkook says.   Everyone ignores him.   “Good thing I decided to wear my hiking boots today.” Seokjin lifts his food much to Namjoon’s dismay who is sitting beside him and now has his friend’s dirty shoe in his lap. “It’s new.”   “I doubt that,” Namjoon bites back even when Seokjin dramatically gasps.   “How intense is this?!” Lisa whirls herself around in hysterics, asking Namjoon instead of you and Jimin, like she trusts the prepared paralegal more than the people who organized this event. She’s right. “I’m wearing sandals!”   Inyoung is full of concern. “I only brought a thin jacket with me.”   “I just got my hair done,” Seulgi adds to the mob of complaints.   “My face is too handsome to be mauled by a bear or pack of wolves,” Jin says for no reason, somehow twisting people’s legitimate worries into a compliment for himself. Namjoon gives him an indignant look.   “Everyone is fine in what they’re wearing!” Jimin attempts to placate his fellow employees, using his cheerful and kind aura to his advantage. “And no bears or wolves are going to maul anyone here.”   For a moment, you wonder what the quiet bus driver thinks of all of this. “Wait,” Dahyun suddenly sits straight, head popping up from the seat in front of her that was blocking her face. “What if we get lost?”   Namjoon turns and pushes up his glasses on the bridge of his nose. “Don’t worry, I read a survival guide once in high school.”   “And that’s why you had no friends,” Seokjin adds on and Yoongi snickers. The rest ignore him, including Namjoon himself.   “We would need to start a fire for help and secure a water supply.” At least it’s good to know who the leader would be if this little adventure turned to shit. You don’t think Hoseok and Jimin are very good in the wilderness, even if they’re spectacular in court and the judicial system.   “And then a food supply,” Yoongi interjects. “We’ll have to start choosing who to eat. I vote Sunyi.”   “Thanks, fucker.” The girl in question scoffs. “I vote Yoongi.”   “Okay, realistically, we need to look at body fat contents so the rest of us can get the most calories out of it. The most bang for your buck. It would probably take three nights before we make our first sacrifice and roast them over the fire,” Namjoon announces like he’s thought about this for a long time and has an entire list of who to eat in a very specific order. “I believe Jungkook would be the best choice.”   Jungkook’s doe eyes nearly fall out his sockets. “W-What?”   “Do we just roast him or do we make them into a stew?” Seokjin genuinely asks.   “This is disgusting!” Lisa screams before Namjoon can reply.   Seulgi is equally appalled. “What’s wrong with you?!”   “Okay!” Jimin tries to get control of the group. “Okay, okay!”   “No one is going to eat anyone!” you shout loudly, throwing it out there for good measure like it wasn’t obvious in the first place. “Cannibalism is definitely against company policy! Right?”   “Yes!” Jimin exclaims after exchanging a look with you since there really isn’t anything about cannibalism in the firm’s policy. Though it doesn’t take much effort to be on the same page. “You will get fired if you eat each other.”   “I don’t think it would matter at that point if we keep our jobs or not,” Naul murmurs from the corner of her red lips and you still don’t know if her eyes are closed or not with her dark sunglasses. Frankly, you’re surprised she was listening to all this nonsense.   Yoongi agrees. “It’s about survival.”   “Hey, can someone pass the sunscreen?” Dahyun hands it over to Inyoung, interrupting the conversation with something more important.   Yoongi nabs every opportunity he has and once again, leans over to bother the living daylights out of Sunyi. “Need me to apply some to your back?”   “I will bite your fingers off,” she spits at him.   “That’s hot.”   “Y/N!” The lawyer raises her hand in the air, childishly tattling to you and in front of everyone else. Yoongi laughs heartily and you’ve never seen him more joyful. It’s kind of funny how he finds such bliss in simple things….which is bothering Sunyi to death. “I’d like to file an official harassment complaint immediately.”   “Yoongi.” You use your authoritative voice. “Stop it.”   “Got it,” he responds.   Problem solved.   “Cut it out, you two,” Jimin sighs and collects his composure again. He scans the premise and everyone’s faces. “Look everyone, whether you like it or not, we’re going on this hike. So, you can go grumbling with a frown or you can go with a smile. It’s up to you.”   It’s finally quiet for a moment as if everyone is accepting the circumstances and how they got here. Except, Taehyung breaks the peaceful silence with a thought. “Is it bad I didn’t bring any water with me?”   //   It’s surprisingly quite nice outside. The weather is not too hot or cold, rather mild with a warm breeze that kisses against your cheeks every so often. There’s not many people at the base of the mountain and there’s somewhat of a dirt path to take. At least it’s not in the middle of nowhere where you’d actually have to eat Jungkook if things become dire enough. Even if something happened, there would be a rescue search. Probably.   There’s a sign at the entrance, a cafe and gift shop off to the side, and two volunteers that give you a brochure on the history and landscape of the area. Everyone’s enjoying themselves for the first ten minutes before setting out, taking bathroom breaks (which Jungkook runs to) and bringing up their blood sugar by having snacks. In the meanwhile…   “I’ll take that.”   Jimin steals Hoseok’s phone right out of his grasps. “Wait. I’m almost done. I’m finishing a draft that I need to submit on Monday. I’m serious. Jimin!”   It’s a bit odd to see the usually intimidating lawyer at a loss and trying to convince his partner, but you’re also aware of the rumours that Jimin can be much more frightening than Hoseok.   “I’m going to lose my shit,” he warns in a low tone, out of earshot distance from everyone else. “What’s the name of our firm?”   “Are you serious?”   “Answer me.”   “Jung and Park.”   “Exactly.” Jimin looks proud and smiles. “It’s you and I. So we gotta both be part of this, alright? You are a partner of this firm, just as much as I am. Let me remind you of one very important quote...we’re all in this together.”   “Please don’t break out into song,” Hoseok pleads.   Jimin simply pockets his best friend’s mobile device in his own pocket. “It’s not like you’ll even have reception up there. Plus, you can always do this work later. And let’s be honest, you’ll never be done. There’s always work to do.”   “Fine, fine.” He lifts his hands, palm facing forward for mercy. “I’ll be part of this.”   “Good.”   Jung Hoseok is left kicking pebbles underneath his feet, bored and quietly sulking. From a distance, you watch in amusement, finding it hilarious that the workaholic was ripped away from his work like a child was taken of their toy. His lips are downturned, slightly pouted, and you’re about to approach when suddenly the heavy cooler of sub sandwiches is taken from your hands.   “Is this our lunch?” Jungkook asks with a curious look, holding the heavy object with one arm easily and swings it like it doesn’t weigh at least twenty five pounds.   “Yeah.” You reach out to take it back. “No one’s allowed to eat them yet.”   “Oh, I know.” The student lawyer stares at you blankly. “But it’s heavy, right?” And that’s when you realize that he’s carrying it to help you. He’s the only one who offered and he didn’t even need to be asked. You’re caught off guard by his thoughtfulness, but the boy doesn’t seem to think it’s a big deal. Instead, he glimpses at the other tote you’re carrying. “Is that our games?”   “It is. Jimin was pretty adamant about bringing twister.” You decide to let him in on a little secret with a smile and shrug. “I have no idea why or how’d we even play.”   “If we played twister on the mountain, Jin would probably fall off the cliff and die,” he jokes with a laugh. “I don’t think he has insurance coverage on that.”   “Hey!” Seokjin turns around, having been bantering with Namjoon if the hat in front of the gift shop is ugly or not. It’s ugly. “Are you talking trash about me, son?!”   “No!” He speaks up.   You and Jungkook glance at each other, exchanging laughs and cheesy smiles. All in the while, none of you realize that Hoseok is glaring holes on the side of your head.   //   The workplace hiking retreat is Jimin’s special event. He takes the honours of leading the way and holding the map, making sure everyone is going in the right direction while hyping up the line of employees that are trailing after him. You’re left at the very back, making sure that no one (Yoongi) tries to book it in the opposite direction and run away — apparently he tried that one year. But Sunyi assures you she’s got tight reins on him and he’ll be walking all the way up, to which he scowled at and looked like he was about to bite the girl’s head off.   Jungkook waits and walks with you. He decreases his usual large strides for you, slowing down to synchronize your shuffling steps together. You didn’t think you’d be talking to him this much since he always seemed shy with little to say. But here you are, chatting away like old friends and the two of you are unable to stop taking, hitting it off relatively well.   “Taehyung might seem that way, but he’s a great mentor.”   “That’s good.” Now that you think about it, Jungkook never gossips or complains about anyone. He always has something nice to say about each person and you can tell he means it with the sparkling of his big eyes. He gawks at Taehyung who’s ahead with admiration...though you’re not sure if he’s objectively a good role model. “I’m glad you’re not having a hard time.”   “Sometimes it’s difficult. I think I’m still adjusting to the job and there’s a lot I don’t know.” His smooth voice drops down into a whisper. “But I do know that he’s saved me from getting fired by Hoseok a few times.”   You giggle and within ten minutes, somehow the conversation that centered around the job and his current health state morphs to things that have nothing to do about the office. “I can’t believe you pour milk before your cereal. Who even are you?”   “Well, I want a certain amount of milk in my bowl,” the younger male explains with wild gestures of his one hand, attempting to defend himself. “If I put cereal in it first, I’m not sure how much milk there actually is.”   “You just eyeball it. It isn’t that difficult.”   “No, trust me, it’s easier when you pour milk in the bowl first and then the cereal.”   “I don’t even eat cereal.”   Jeon Jungkook gasps out loud like you just offended twenty generations of his family. “What?!”   “Okay.” You hold back several laughs. “Don’t sue me.”   “I think I might have to.” He giggles as well, laughing at how ridiculous this debate is. But the student-at-law is persistent in nature and doesn’t back down. “How can you not like cereal? It’s the best breakfast food ever!”   “It’s bland,” you counter.   “What kind of cereal have you been eating?!” Jin’s dramatics must’ve infected him and you enjoy the theatrics of his arguments. The cool breeze whisks through your hair, the sunshine illuminating the surroundings of pine trees and the dirt path up the incline. But the pair of you don’t admire the sceneries or the premise when you’re busy looking at each other. “Have you ever tried the ones with dried fruit? Like there are cereals with dried strawberries in them.”   “Oh yeah, I love that, but I always end up picking out the strawberries to eat them and then I’m just left with the frosted cereal left.”   He shakes his head. “I should take you to this place I know. It’s a cereal restaurant. They have all kinds of cereal and all kinds of milk and it’s glorious.”   “A cereal restaurant?” Your brows shoot up in skepticism.   “Yeah!” he grins in enthusiasm. “Have you ever heard of it?”   “No, I haven’t.”   “It’s so good! I could take—”   “Is there a water bottle in there, Kook?” There’s an interruption that doesn’t come from you nor Jungkook. You turn and Hoseok’s in front of you both, having stopped without the rest of the group realizing and going on ahead. Jungkook doesn’t waste any time, putting down the cooler and opening it.   “Didn’t you bring your own?” you ask in surprise since it came out of nowhere.   “I finished it.”   “Already?!” An entire water bottle this earlier on? You wonder how thirsty he might’ve been or if he was dehydrated.   The lawyer merely cocks his head to one side. “Is that a problem?”   “Only if you have to pee later.”   Jungkook hands him the new bottle and he uncaps it, taking another sip before sticking it in his black tracksuit jacket, somehow fitting the entire thing in the pocket. “Thanks.”   Part of you expects him to be on his way, but for some reason Hoseok sticks around, on your other side and joins your walk. It’s not like you mind, but it seems like Jungkook is uncomfortable that his boss is right there and conversations of cereal-first-or-milk-first, pineapple-pizza-or-not, or if-it’s-okay-to-pee-in-the-shower, they all cease to exist.   You clear your throat, glaring at Hoseok from the corner of your eye. It’s not everyday that you get to chat with Jungkook or get to know him better or get to the deeper concerns, and Hoseok was really ruining this for you. Yet, he remains undeterred. Maybe he’s oblivious to your signals or he’s straight out ignoring them. You’re not too sure.   But for the next ten minutes, the three of you walk in complete silence.   You use the opportunity to finally take in the nature. There are trees that stretch beyond the horizon, greenery and gaps of fields seen in your vision. The fresh scent of earth and grass heals your lungs from the metropolis’ pollution. It’s quite pleasant to be away from gas exhaust and the smog. When you’re away from the city, highways of cars and trucks, it’s quiet and peaceful. You can hear chickadee birds, rabbits hopping, buzzing of wildlife.   Eventually, Jimin stops everyone at the first checkpoint.   “Okay, gather up, everyone!” He secures his round, taupe hat that reminds you of an explorer. You suppose this is the most adventure Jimin ever gets when he’s away from the concrete jungle. “I hope the half-hour trip hasn’t been too brutal but it’s time for our first set of team building games!”   “What is it?” Yoongi asks right off the bat to not waste any more time.   “Trust falls!” Jimin announces with a half-moon smile. “On the edge of this cliff.”   “.....”   “I’m joking!” The lawyer is the only one who laughs. “We’re playing charades.”   Dahyun raises her hand and he calls on her. “How is this supposed to contribute to team building?”   “Fantastic question! It’s team building because you have to work together to answer correctly and you’re also reading body language which helps with everything. Y/N, sketchbook, please.”   You immediately dig for the prepared sketchbook with words written inside of them and you hand it to the lawyer who nods in appreciation. He continues much to the chagrin of the others. “And now I will divide the entire group into two. Right...there. Yes, now pretend there’s an imaginary line. You guys are team one.” He turns towards your direction. “And you are team two. Team one goes first. One at a time, someone will face me and act it out and the rest of you face away from me and guess. No cheating. No speaking for the person acting. Ready?”   You sit on the sidelines, Jimin having enough mercy to let you take a break. Jungkook was divided on team one and you watch the game go on as Hoseok stands beside you.   “You know,” he speaks up, “Jungkook is like eight years younger than you.”   “So?” You shift to him with a lifted eyebrow, suddenly annoyed with what he might or might not be implying. “What does that have to do with anything, Jung Hoseok? What are you trying to say?”   “N-nothing. Never mind.” He looks away from you, sighing. “...I’m sorry.”   In the background, Sunyi is flapping her arms wildly and Yoongi is throwing out guesses without letting anyone else guess, saying absurd things like ‘synchronized swimming’, ‘an idiot’, ‘someone sad with no love life’. She gets frustrated and screams at him, “I’M A BIRD!”   Jimin docks a point for cheating.   “What's the matter?”   “Nothing.”   “Well, there’s obviously something,” you persist while staring at Hoseok’s profile. He’s still sulking and you don’t understand what he’s trying to say. “Is it because Jimin took away your phone? I can get him to give it back to you. It isn’t that big of an issue.”   “No.” A staggering exhale spills from the seams of his lips. “That’s not it. It’s nothing, okay?”   You decide to back off his case. “Alright.”   Seokjin is up for acting now and he makes a rectangle shape with his hands. Yoongi guesses ‘circle’ to add to his frustration and Sunyi physically shoves Yoongi to get him to stop. Jin pretends to put the rectangle shape on an imaginary wall and then he points to his eyebrows and then makes an ‘x’ shape with his arms.   Everyone is stumped. He does it again. No answers.   Seokjin stops his foot and cries out, “I want a new team!”   The word is ‘Mona Lisa’.   The game is probably the reverse of team building. It’s ripping friendships apart.   But you can’t focus on watching when there’s a thick, smothering silence between you and the man standing beside you. No one lets a syllable slip or makes a sound. Your lips are sealed tight and you force yourself not to gawk at him. It’s terribly awkward, but you refuse to address it.   “I’m not upset or mad or anything.”   Hoseok is the first to step forward and you finally turn to him. “I never said anything.”   “You get quiet when you think I’m angry.”   “Psh.” The corner of your mouth pulls. “Who said?”   “No one. I just noticed.” He gazes into your eyes and softens his own. The other employees are preoccupied in either participating or observing and laughing. Behind them, it’s just you and him, a bubble of privacy that is uninterrupted. “I’m sorry for being an asshole. Maybe it’s the outdoors affecting me…”   “I doubt that.” You give a tiny laugh. “You love nature.”   “Who said?” Now he’s the one asking and his expression remains blank, frowning slightly.   “Uh...Jimin.” You nod. “He told me about it.”   “Yeah, I’ve always wanted a house with a massive backyard. I would’ve set up the office in the woods if it were possible.”   “Except, there are too many mosquitoes.”   “Yup.” He gives one of the brightest smiles, rival to the sun itself. The atmosphere has returned back to normal, one where you feel like you’re able to joke around just a little bit with him. “That’s the only issue. The mosquitoes.”   When team one is done, it’s time for your own team to go. Since you were the one who wrote all the words in the sketchbook, you don’t get to participate. You’re left holding the sketchbook, but you don’t mind too much when Namjoon is pointing straight up and doing jazz hands and stomping around and people are guessing sun and clouds, but never outer space.   It’s especially hilarious to watch Hoseok reluctantly participate. He holds both his hands in tiny circle shapes and begins to thrust them back and forth towards his open mouth, interchanging his hands. Everyone pales and becomes horrified at the suggestive movements. On the other hand, Jimin bursts out laughing, so hard that his body folds in half and he’s clutching his stomach, unable to be a referee and you’re worried he might not watch where he’s going and fall off the cliff.   The word is ‘flossing’.   In the end, Hoseok is the one who gets most into the game. He’s screaming and pointing and howling when someone gets close, causing the team to be pressured to get it right. He also makes wild guesses, enthusiastically and eagerly like he’s a youthful twenty-year old again.   “Alright guys! That was great. Team one has six points and team two is in the lead with ten! Next set of games, we’ll be mixing up the teams, so don’t get too comfortable.”   Dahyun raises her hand and he calls on her. “But then how will you keep track of points?”   “Fantastic question. I’ll wing it.” Before anyone can question him, he spins on his toes and begins pointing off into the distance, explaining where they’re heading and telling his employees to enjoy the beautiful scenery.   Jungkook ends up getting wrangled in by Taehyung, joining the banter with him, Namjoon, and Inyoung. He’s still holding onto the cooler and instead, you’re accompanied by Hoseok who stays by your side.   “What is that?” He peeks inside the tote you’re carrying.   “Puzzles.” And at the expression he gives you, you give one in return that conveys ‘Jimin organized this, not me’. He ends up taking the bag, not to examine further, but to—   Actually....you’re not sure why he takes it, but you don’t even think twice about it. All you know is that the muscles in your shoulder aren’t so tense anymore.   As groups and clusters of employees are chatting and hiking, Naul who was talking to Jimin finally tugs down her black sunglasses and her jaw drops. “Oh my god.”   They stop and the others skid to a halt before they bump into each other. You exchange expressions with Hoseok, not sure what’s going on before Lisa gasps, “It’s BTS.”   “What?”   “What?!”   You look past the crowd to see another group heading straight down the mountain, parallel to you, marching in an orderly line with long sticks in their hands. They look like professional hikers with full on backpacks and hats and they’re all smiling at each other like there’s no other place they’d rather be. There’s a ripple of quiet that passes through the people that make Jung and Park.   “Who’s BTS?” You lean over to Hoseok, whispering lowly.   “Big. Top. Solicitors,” he tells you in a spiteful manner. “They’re one of the biggest firms in the city and they have multiple departments in all sorts of things. So, they deal with tax law, criminal, personal injury and...of course….family law. They’re our biggest competitors.”   “Oh. I applied to work there. They even gave me an interview.” You remember and you quickly retract when Hoseok stares. “But they never called me back. A loss for them, right?”   You can recall it well. Their office building was magnificent and seemed straight of what you would expect in a high-budget television show. If you were nervous for the interview at Jung and Park, you were swimming in your sweat for the interview at BTS. In that way, you’re glad you never got a call back. You’re sure you would have never felt comfortable at that job.   By the time Hoseok is finished explaining and your little anecdote is given, they’ve closed the gap and realized who it was that faced them. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Jung and Park.”   “What are you doing here, Jackson?” Jimin has a standoff with the partner of the opposing firm. It reminds you of a gun showdown from back in the day when two big names were on the same turf and fought to become dominant.   “We’re having an extended weekend for our employees,” he says with a smirk. The man is handsome and you wonder how he can climb an entire mountain and look like that. Even his jacket is crisp. If he was wearing a fitted, black suit, you’re sure Lisa who’s purposely looking away at the moment would piss herself, you included. “You’re only starting now? Guess you were trying to avoid that afternoon sun, huh?”   The condescending tone has Jimin’s eyes narrowing. “Why does it matter to you?”   “It doesn’t.” The male rolls his shoulders and the employees behind him seem to be staring daggers into your soul. “It’s just that we started at six in the morning and we made it all the way up to the peak. We even walked through lunch and now I’m treating everyone to an Italian restaurant. It’s nothing. But it’s pretty cute that you’re doing this too.”   “That’s actually really nice that you’re treating your employees.” Jimin smiles and it never quite reaches his eyes. “You must be pretty comfortable even after losing the Yoo case.”   A muscle in Jackson’s cheek twitches and had you not been staring, you might’ve missed it. “Don’t worry, we’re still comfortable. Unlike you, losing one case won’t hurt us. We have plenty more cases to work on.”   Satisfied, he brushes past him and walks down. It reminds you of petty high school movies where the crowd of popular kids would make fun of the underdogs. It’s a bit funny to see grown adults acting in such childish manners, but you don’t say anything. Instead, Jackson stops and turns to Hoseok once before going on his way. “You might have to pick up the pace, Jung. If you want to make it there before the sun goes down.”   “See you in court on Tuesday, Wang.”   When they’ve followed the curve of the mountain and disappear from sight, everyone is on their way again. But the steps seem slower, shuffling more against the gravel. Inyoung is the first to begin speaking again. “Did they really make it up and down in seven hours?”   “Only regular hikers make that amount of time.” Namjoon makes an objective statement, disregarding his own bias. “It’s pretty impressive.”   “Nothing’s impressive about them,” Sunyi mutters and it’s loud and clear. “I’d rather work for a smaller firm that actually cares about me than a larger firm who thinks I’m just one of their chess pieces.”   Taehyung lifts his head, having watched the dirt. “Did we never hear what happened to Wang Kwangsoo? Did he even go to court?”   “No, the lawsuit got buried and then he retired. He’s probably at some vacation villa right now living it up.” Yoongi remains impassive, but you can see the irritation in his expression, and a few others scoff when they’re reminded. “No one knows what happened to the victims, if they were paid or if something happened to them.”   Inyoung shakes her head. “That’s…”   “Disgusting,” Naul finishes.   “It’s not like we can prosecute him,” Hoseok says bleakley, but you know it’s from good intention. There's no point of being furious or having your blood pressure spike for someone who doesn’t deserve it in the least bit. “Take your anger and use it on cases where we can actually win. That’s the least we can do.”   “Yeah.” Sunyi nods in agreement and there’s a moment of silence before her voice continues in a hesitant murmur. “You know…..he might be a piece of shit…..but his son is really something else.”   “Right?!” Lisa whirls her head over. “That boy is one fine feast.”   “Oh my god.” Seokjin rolls his eyes. “Are you guys serious? Look at me! I’m much more handsome than Jackson.”   “I heard he’s running the firm a lot differently than his dad,” Seulgi pipes up and everyone else ignores Seokjin’s woes. “Like they recently had a huge purge and a bunch of people that were working under his dad got fired. He’s remodeling the entire hierarchy.”   “Don’t let appearances deceive you,” Naul warns. “We never know what’s really going on. But….I agree. He seems a lot better than his disgusting father. Again, we’re comparing him at a very low bar here.”   Even with Naul pointing out that the standard is low, Lisa sighs wistfully. “Kind, rich, handsome. A dream, right?”   “And they hiked like professionals.” Namjoon’s still hung up on it much to the dismay and surprise of others.   Jin lifts an eyebrow. “Who cares?”   “They beat the estimated time!” He stresses with wild gestures. “It’s really impressive, you just don’t understand. They made it all the way up and down. Only real hikers that go on the regular can do that.”   Throughout the entire conversation, Jimin remains unusually quiet. You’re about to pick up the pace to meet him and check to see if he’s okay. But then he turns around and stops. Dahyun asks if this was the second checkpoint and you find it odd that he would stop to do an activity in the middle of the dirt road like this. “Good question like always, Dahyun. Yes, this is our next activity.”   You’re about the pull out the puzzles—   “Everyone take a look at who you’re standing closest to. That’s going to be your buddy.”   You glance beside you and Hoseok’s staring right at you. Everyone quickly links up. Dahyun with Lisa, Sunyi and Yoongi glaring holes into each other’s skulls, Jin and Namjoon naturally beside one another, Taehyung that throws his arm around Jungkook’s, and Naul that joins up with Inyoung.   Jimin grins. “From now on, this is a race. First pair up the mountain wins.”   “Wait.” Lisa freezes. “What?!”   You’re as shocked as the receptionist is and you step up with a frown. “Jimin, this isn’t a part of—”   “It is now!” There’s a competitive fire that ignites behind his brown irises. Ideas of cooperation and team building have been thrown out the window. Jackson must’ve gotten to him. “Don’t you want to beat the record? I know we can do it!”   There’s an automatic sea of complaints, people threatening to just turn around and go home while others consider just sitting on the side of the road until someone comes to their rescue.   “That’s too far!” Sunyi points out one of the handful of problems.   “Fine! We’ll race to the halfway point and stop for lunch!” Jimin quickly spits it out before there are more protests, and then he scrambles for additional incentives. “First one up to the halfway point gets two more vacation days and a thousand dollar bonus.”   “What?” Jin’s jaw goes slack.   Taehyung’s already grinning. “What?!”   Hoseok throws it out there— “I didn’t agree to this!”   “Don’t worry,” Jimin reassures his partner. “I’m going to win and no one will get it. Ready, set, go!”   It’s completely spontaneous and chaos breaks loose. Jimin grabs Seulgi, the closest person to him and who’s automatically his buddy, and she screams when he begins sprinting up the steep incline of the mountain.   “Let’s go, Jeon!” Taehyung also begins running after a few beats and Jungkook’s doe eyes are large in surprise, but when his legs begin to run, he beats his mentor in sheer speed while he’s miraculously still holding onto the cooler. You wonder if he did track and field back in the day or was a competitor for some kind of Olympic game.   “I need that bonus!” Naul dashes off as well and Inyoung struggles. Lisa abandons her friends to book it in her thin sandals while hollering something about those vacation days.   “Namjoon!” Seokjin yells behind his shoulder. “Move your slow ass!”   Yoongi and Sunyi put away their rivalry for a moment, the most serious and cooperative you’ve ever seen from both of them. They whip their bodies through the air without saying more than a word to each other and after a while, Yoongi snatches Sunyi’s hand, helping her run faster or launching her forward, you’re not too sure. All you know is that you’re soon left in the dust.   This is the most enthusiastic you’ve seen everyone all day. You can’t help but smile, even if it’s all a bit ridiculous and the plans have been spoiled. It’s kind of nice to see everyone so involved and eager to make it. Maybe you and Jimin should’ve thought about incentives, aside from lunch, from the beginning.   “Are we going to run?” You turn to Hoseok who is stuck in his spot like a statue with his mouth wide open, wholly stunned at Jimin’s antics. “....no one’s supposed to get a thousand dollars, right?”   “You’re right.”   And that’s how the both of you begin jogging. It’s a steady speed, but it’s your strategy to win. Running out of energy is the last thing you want, so you try your best to maintain a stable speed. Once in a while, you can hear Hoseok swearing underneath his breath and you have to repress some laughter. Higher, higher, higher. On your way up, you run into Seokjin and Namjoon who are slugging along, dragging their heavy legs. They bicker about why the other person can’t keep running, yet each is out of breath and out of shape. You also find Inyoung and Dahyun who have been abandoned by their partners and are walking together.   Eventually, after twenty minutes of jogging and passing by Lisa and Naul as well, Hoseok and you decide to take a break. Well...more like your lungs were dying and you were gasping for breath and something internally in your intestines wasn’t feeling well and Hoseok took one glimpse at you and stopped.   “I can’t believe he did this,” Hoseok sits on the ground, leaning back and tipping back his head to let the uncapped water bottle bring a cool stream to his lips. His jawline is sharp, sweat dripping off his black hair and you wonder how the hell it’s so unfair he looks this good drinking water. But you quickly shake the thought away, trying to chug your own water bottle and replenish your system.   “We still have three more pairs to beat.” You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. “Jimin and Seulgi, Sunyi and Yoongi, and Taehyung and Jungkook.” And it astonishes you that Jungkook is still carrying the entire cooler with him while sprinting like Usain Bolt. What kind of monster was he?   Hoseok grins, letting out an exasperated ‘yeah’ while nodding tiredly. He runs a hand through his hair, slicking it back and out of his eyes. “If he doesn’t win, I’m going to have some serious problems.”   After another moment, finally rehydrated and rested, you tear your eyes away from the vivid azure shade of the sky towards him. “Ready to go again?”   “Ready if you are.” He smiles and you help him to his feet, letting go of his hand just as quickly. “We can walk for a bit to build that energy up again before we start jogging.”   “Sounds good.” You’re thankful since you don’t know if you can keep up with him.   “It’s been a long time since I exercised like this,” he muses while your steps naturally sync together.   “Same here.” You peek at the lawyer. “Are you okay though?”   “I’m fine.” He meets your eyes. “Why?”   “You’re afraid of heights, right?” From the distance, the once large pine trees appear more like broccoli and you’re getting closer and closer to the clouds. Luckily, the breeze is cool and the sun isn’t beating down on you like earlier. But as pretty as the scenery and how pleasant the weather is, it’s still a far way down. Off the dirt and stones you’re walking on is a steep drop. You’re certain the sharp rocks would puncture your body like a sword if you fell.   “Yeah,” he murmurs thoughtfully, “I am.”   You can’t help but tease him further. “You’re also afraid of spiders, ants, ladybugs, moths, any kind of bug really, and roller coasters and snakes—”   “Okay, that’s enough.” He playfully glares at you, lips pouty and cute.   “It’s okay.” You comfort him and fail to hide your wide smile. “No one has to know you’re a scaredy cat. Your secret is safe with me.”   “I am not a scaredy cat.” Hoseok grins, lips sort of mimicking a heart shape, his presence radiant like the sunshine itself. “I’m the bravest.”   Suddenly, a sickening wave overcomes your body. “OH MY GOD!” A blood-curdling shriek rips from your throat and you point in the distance, at a loss for words.   “WHAT?”   And you laugh like crazy when he actually physically jumps and turns around. Jung Hoseok shifts back around to you, absolutely unimpressed with your little prank. “Don’t do that! I’m serious!”   “I didn’t know you would fall for it!”   “I will sue you for causing me mental trauma and distress.”   “Go ahead,” you egg him on. “It’s not like I have money to give you monetary compensation.”   You’re still giggling, tears accumulating in your eyes and choking out the remaining giggles. Your face aches from smiling so much and you most certainly don’t pay attention when the terrain becomes rockier, less dirt and more of tiny pebbles.   All at once, your left foot loses traction.   You feel your body slipping forward without permission, knees buckling, as if you’re on ice, ready to tumble and roll off the edge. But at the speed of light, Hoseok grabs your arm, stabilizing you and saving you from death. You look up at him, laughter dying off your lips. He’s held you tight, but still gentle like he’s afraid of squeezing too hard.   And the man gazes into your eyes.   “Watch where you’re going, stupid,” he murmurs after a moment of complete silence.   “Stupid?” You’re baffled, unable to help the pout that takes over your face.   Hoseok lets go of you and you both resume walking. He ganders off at the scenery and the breeze cards through his locks, stands of dark hair moving past his brows. You can’t resist tearing your eyes away to anything else but him. The way he persists, the way he helped you without a moment’s breath, like it was a reflex, like it’s so entirely casual for him to react that way.   Why—   Your thoughts are interrupted when Hoseok suddenly lurches forward. His shoe is caught on a stick and he nearly eats a mouthful of dirt. But his arms flail like a tightrope walker and he stumbles forward four steps, miraculously catching balance. You laugh loudly.   So much for being a hero.   Hoseok immediately turns to you, embarrassed and cheeks burning red when he was trying so hard to look cool. You grin, reaching down and taking his hand. Your fingertips brushing lightly on his until he uncurls them and lets you slip your hand into his.   There’s no reason, only because…   “It’s safer. Wouldn’t want you to take a fall and be injured. I don’t think Jung and Park can run without you.”   He grumbles, but the man walks closer to you. “You’d become a murder suspect.”   You scoff. “No, I’d be a witness.”   “Not with the evidence stacked up against you like this. They’d think you pushed me.”   “Keep it up and I’ll actually push you,” you threaten him and he laughs with another one of those massive grins.   Both your palms are clasped together, his down-facing and yours up. The heat of his palm presses on yours, arms moving together as you continue the upward trek. You hope he can’t feel how nervous you are or how you’ve become hyper-conscious of his presence. But it’s odd.   Behind innocent anxiousness, there’s a fuzzy feeling that you haven’t experienced for years now. It makes you feel at peace and panicked at the same time. But the way you hold his hand seeks and gives comfort.   “Then I’ll take you down with me.”   Hoseok holds your hand tightly and even gives it a squeeze.   You wonder if it’s a mistake to want this to last forever.

[tenaciousarcadeexpert]

Criminal Minds-The Good Ol’ Days

Tagging: @marvelfanlife​, @itsmeedee​, @cynbx​, @jaqren​, @gabriellewritermua​, @princesswagger15​, @screaminginbi​, @tleighstone12​, @cosmicmelaninflower​

A collaboration fic with @princesswagger15​.

Chapter 8-Wicked Game

“I mean, it’s not like he knows that we broke in, right?” Elle awkwardly chuckled.

“Well, it becomes a serious problem when he wonders how his journal was missing in the same day his students broke in his cabin.” “What are you trying to say, Hotch?” Ashley asked.

Hotch looked at the rest of the group. “I hate to say this, but we were in the cabin where the journal was still there. Once we left, it was gone.” “That means……” “ Someone here must have stolen the journal. One of us.”

Everyone looked at each other with shock and distrust. Someone has stolen something vital to Rossi and it was all on them. The actions of one person endangers the rest of the group. They just need to figure out who had stolen Rossi’s journal, and why.

“One of us is a suspect, we need to know who is responsible for Rossi’s journal and why they did. Which is why we need to all come clean.”

“Well, it sure ain’t me.” Derek blurts out.

“It’s not me, i wasn’t aware of the situation yet.” Marissa explained.

“Uh yea, Marissa, we know you had nothing to do with this. You don’t need to rub it in.” Hotch scolds her before looking at the rest of the group. “But everyone else here is a possible suspect.”

“Okay, well Hotch you didn’t need to be rude alright? And plus, there’s no reason anyone here would steal Rossi’s journal! No one here has a bone to pick with him, at least that i know of.”

“Hmmmmm, or maybe they do.” Derek looks around before stopping at Emily. “I know you didn’t get along with Rossi when he chose you to stay after class.”

“What?! You’re blaming me!? WHY?”

“Come on, it’s always the one who has the most beef against the professor. I know you and the professor sometimes butt heads a couple of times before.”

“Yeah, me and Rossi have our moments but i’d NEVER do that to him!”

“Whatever you say, Prentiss.”

“Hey, and this is coming from the guy who sometimes looks like he’s about to sleep in his class?”

“Why are you trying to pin this on me?”

“You try to pin this on me. Which means you’re trying to frame me for something I didn’t do.”

“Oh and that makes me guilty?”

“Well, I’d hate to point fingers, but yeah, yeah you are.”

Before they could continue to fight, JJ and Matt step in between them.

“Woah woah woah, guys, stop this. Fighting isn’t gonna get us anywhere.”

“I agree with Matt, we should hear one another out before mauling each other to death.”

“Or are you just saying that cause you have something to hide JJ?”

“Excuse me? I-”

“And what about you Matt? Do you have anything to hide?

“What? HELL NO! This is getting WAAY out of control man!”

“Hey, you’re the one talking M-” Just then, everyone started to clamor in, pointing fingers at each other, blaming the other. Just when the fighting won’t stop, Hotch clencehed his fists and took a deep breath. “ENOUGH!” He yelled. “Look, one of us here is a thief. True, but this is not how we find out who the person is. JJ and Matt have a point. Maybe if we all speak out on what we were all doing in the cabin, we might have a chance of figuring out who could it be.”

“And how do we know that you’re not the one who has Rossi’s journal?” “Woah there Seaver. We need to talk this out before we can start pointing fingers.” He paused. “And no, I don’t have his journal.” “Well, someone here does.”

“Wait wait wait! When Rossi went to go get his journal, he went towards the back of the cabin by the bedrooms! Who was searching in the bedrooms?”

“There was me…….Ashley, and Kate.” Matt responds. “But I swear that I didn’t touch the journal.”

“Yeah, and at the time, I didn’t know there even was a journal.” Kate jumps in.

The rest of the gang stared at Ashley, much to her shock and disbelief.

“What?! Look, I was in the bedroom, yes, did I see the journal? Yes! But I made sure that it didn’t leave the room when we left, I swear!”

“What do you think Hotch?” Emily asked.

Hotch looked at Matt again. “Are you sure you guys were the only three there? No one else could’ve hid in the room or anything?”

“Yes, it was just us.”

“Alright, this is some weird shit man.”

“Well…..I hate to say this, but one of us is lying. Someone has to come clean….eventually you all need to come clean.”

The gang all muttered and looked around in frustration.

“So what now, Hotch?”

“I don’t know. I guess we should all wait, till someone speaks up or the journal somehow appears. We should all meet up...after lunch. We should all look out for one another until then. Other than that, let’s go and take care of our business. Any questions?”

No one else answered and shook their heads.

“Cool, I guess this is it. Oh, and stay sharp. Who knows where the journal could pop up.”

“Got it.”

They all part ways, following the revelation of Rossi’s journal.

    A few hours later since the morning at Rossi’s cabin. Still, Tara couldn’t get her mind off the journal. It was only a matter of a moment when she heard Emily echoed her name.

“Tara!” “Yes?” “Is everything alright? You’ve spent the last few minutes fidgeting with your pen….So, unless you’ve been stumped and staring at the same question for a while, do you want to talk about it?”

She placed her book to the side. “I just can’t stop thinking about it…….at the cabin with Rossi. He seemed pretty open than he was in class. You can only imagine how much he’s been: First he lost his friend, then his classroom gets destroyed, now he lost his journal. So much has happened to him.”

Emily pressed her lips. “Yeah, I pity the old man. Although I still don’t get the big whuff about his journal. I mean he can always get a new one, can he?”

“Em.” Tara brushed her wrist. “To you, it may be just another book, but to someone like Rossi, that journal holds sentimental value to him. Judging by the way he reacted, that book was pretty important to him. Something so simple could be worth more to someone else.” She then pulls out a small necklace. “Like this locket. Pretty isn’t it, it was given to me by my mother, long before she……..left us. On the outside, it may be a pretty necklace, but to me, this is what I have left of my mother.” She paused. “Though even though

“You have a point.” She nods. “Mm hmph.”

“Too bad I don’t have anything valuable to me.” “I’m sure there’s is, it’s usually something you’re unable to give up.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Emily continues to stare at Tara.

“What?”

“Y-you’d never stole his journal, would you?”

She shook her head. “No, why would I do that?” “I didn’t say that you did, I’m just being…..cautious.” “I get it……..what about you, you didn’t steal it, did you?” She shook her head. “N-never. Besides, a person would only steal a journal if they have some sort of agenda against Rossi.” “Guess so…...I wonder who could it be?” “Don’t know, but they’re out there. We just need to figure out who it was.”  

    Elsewhere, Stephen was looking for some books at the library. While scrimmaging through different books, he stops to pull out a thick textbook with a gold hard-cover lining. As he pulls out the heavy textbook, a small book with a leather cover. Curious, he picked it up, brushing the dust off from the cover, where he noticed someone’s name embedded onto the cover.

“Property of David Rossi……...Rossi.” He looked around to see if anyone was watching before grabbing the journal and his textbook before fleeing. Just as he was about to leave, he almost bumps into Kate.

“Woah, Kate. I’m sorry.” “It’s okay….Are you going somewhere? You seem to be in a hurry.” “Yeah, I have an exam from my Western Civilizations class tomorrow, so I just need to do some last minute studies before I take the exam.”

“Oh okay, good luck tomorrow.” “Thanks.” Stephen was about to leave when he turned back. “Uh, also….you don’t happen to know where Professor Rossi is, do you?” Kate glanced at him before shaking her head. “No, I haven’t. Why do you ask?” “J-just wondering.”

“Oh okay.” “Yeah…...oh and I was wondering if you’re free tonight. I figured that we can go get some tacos tonight, if you’re interested.” “Aw, is Stephen Walker asking me out?” He chuckled. “Well, maybe, but we’ll just get some tacos. If that’s okay.” “Hmmm, I like tacos.”

“Cool, so we’ll meet outside the campus center at 7:00. Don’t miss it.” “Okay, that sounds nice.” “Nice……...so, I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon. Take care.” Just as Stephen walked away, Kate leaned back and felt a sense of uncertainty from him. She glanced back to see a small book with a page peeking out from Stephen’s arms. Why was he asking for Rossi? Is there a reason that he needed to see him? She then shrugged it off and walked away, grabbing a book and taking a seat at the tables.

“Did Stephen just asked you out?” She looked to see Ashley standing in front of her with her head slightly tilted and her arms crossed.

“Yes.” “Wow. You must be thrilled.” “I know. We’re gonna go get some tacos later on.” “That sounds nice.” Kate nods as she continues to read, while Ashley leans her hands on the table. “Did he say anything else?” “Not really…….” She placed her book down. “Although, he did ask me if I knew where Professor Rossi was.” Ashley squint her eyebrows. “ Why? Why would he want to meet with him?” “I don’t know….but I do have this uneasy feeling about it.” “Me too…..though maybe it’s just our instincts getting the better of us.” “Guess so.”

    Elsewhere, Hotch was walking through the girl’s dorm, stopping by to visit Haley when he knocks on the door. To his surprise the door was slightly open and decided to enter, only to see Kristy scrimmaging through her drawers where she was startled by the unexpected appearance of Hotch. “Oh Kristy! I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to barge in like this-” “Hotch! What the hell are you doing here?” She was in her pajamas, though her hair was slightly damp, implying that she had just took a shower.

“Sorry, I-I was looking for Haley.” “Well, you’re gonna have to wait, cause she has drama club at this time.” “Oh okay.” “Although Hotch, if you don’t mind me asking, why did you want to talk to Haley?” “Oh, I uh, just wanted to uhhhhhhh, ask her out.”

“So that’s why you ca-” “Yeah, I-uh, thought she’d be here.” He shrugged his arms. “Guess I was wrong haha.”

“So…….you like her.”

“Uh yea….I do.” She chuckled.“Oh. Well, if you want, I could leave her a message.” “Okay. Thanks.” Before he could leave, Kristy stops him.

“And Hotch.” “Yea?” “H-How’s Matt? I haven’t seen him all day.”

“He’s alright, he went to go throw some hoops.” “Oh okay……..is everything alright? You seemed….tense.” Hotch clutched his chest. “Yeah, I uh had a long day. I figured that I could loosen up a bit for tonight.” “Yeah well, you do that, and I’ll tell Haley the news.” “Okay later, and sorry for barging in.” “It’s fine, it could’ve been worse.” She watched as Hotch left the room. “You could’ve seen me in nothing but a towel and I’d be humiliated….” She muttered as she went back to rearranging her stuff in her drawers. “Haley would freak….and Matt would kill you for seeing me like this.” Once she was done, she then slammed the door shut. “Next time, I need to lock that door.” A few hours have passed and Kate had just rushed outside of the campus center as she looked at her watch.

“59…….7:00, just on time.” She smiled as she looked around, waiting for Stephen.

At the same time, Blake had just finished up and was driving out.

“Yeah, everything was fine, although one person wasn’t able to know the difference between ‘gato’ and ‘gauteux’. Yeah, one means cat in Spanish and the other means cake in French.” She chuckled as she continues to drive. “Yeah well, I…..have to to call you back, love you.” She hangs up as she sees smoke coming from the usual exit route. As the smoke starts to clear up, she sees a wreckage of red camry off on the side of the road.  

“Oh my god.” She exits out the car as she walked over to the wreckage. As she looked for whoever was inside, she froze as inside lies an unconscious and badly wounded Stephen, with his head up against the car window.

[df-afield]

February 2017, Silverton, CO

Max and I step onto the tarmac in Durango with golden light settling on the mountains and lungs full of fresh air. It's not quite enough to make me forget about my astronomical overweight-bag fee, but it's a promising start. Broth is inside with a sign that reads "Shred Express"; we hop aboard, make a stop at Ska and then we're on to Telluride.

We pull into Carhenge and settle into our Tokyo-style accommodations, then regroup with Matt and Lizzi and head to ...There. The operative question is what part of Brooklyn we're in. Answer seems to be Park Slope. Not sure how I feel about that but the very relaxed staff is able to get me a painkiller so it works out OK. Somehow from here we up the ante and make our way downtown to the Last Dollar. There's a celebrity sighting inside, and we order 4 William Clintons but only find two willing mouths. Not exactly off to a restful start.

First day on the hill has our noob asses careening into Gold Hill Chute #1 for a free stone grind of death and bulletproof bumps. “Bad Aspect” is declared and we get the fuck out of there, doing a little better for ourselves with a few Black Iron Bowl hikes (“buen aspecto”), a visit to Giuseppe’s, and some NE-style trees into bump gulley to round out the day. We go tend to an apres reservation back There, which turns into a 7 course marathon as the wheels come off the establishment. We lose Roth to a Shred Express pickup in Montrose, make an offering to the ski tree and settle in for an Oh Hell game at the booth in Brown Dog.

A little slow getting out of the annex the next day, we make our way back up to Black Iron and hit the stairs. Just M & M and I for this one, and we have a nice line down Dihedral Chute and over to the Stump Jump. We rally the rest of the crew for a couple more trips up the ridge, this time just to the early steep face, with another lap over to the aforementioned perfect air. Get some BBQ and jams for lunch, and then a little afternoon mogul masochism wraps things up.

M & M and I hit the road right away, hype levels going through the roof as we navigate the precipitous road outta the Switzerland of Colorado and gawk at the peaks. Jaws still on the floor as we roll into town and discover the skijoring course in front of the Bent, then follow the music into the Rum Bar. Take in a little bluegrass, befriend Jack and Laura, and realize that we are in Westworld, and it is a zero-bitchassness town. The hosts sure look real though. Learn about the drone-induced equine mauling over a frosty Euphoria in silence at Bottom of the Barrel, then go rage with Liver Down The River for a bit before packing it in to get ready for the next day’s mission.

The Bent

No bitchassness here

Matt wakes us before dawn with the Horn Of Rohan, we hit Mattie and Maud’s and cruise up the canyon with asses fully puckered in anticipation. There’s a bit of equivocation about our pace in the parking lot, but fucking old man winter himself walks right up to us and asks if we’re game for the summit. Duh.

Climbing the stairs to the "lodge"

Get the day started, though, and things don’t go that smoothly. Our route is down Raff to the Mortuary. There’s some shaky obedience in the ranks, and then Shocklee compliments my turns and asks if I’m from Wisconsin, which is just downright puzzling. Turns out I’ve got a partner in style. Humor doesn’t last long though; Rob begins freaking out, and we found where they were hiding the bitchassness. Excruciatingly slow progress downhill, even as his friends insist that he “does daffys off 30-footers when he’s inbounds”. Hubris.

Next run is down Cabin; between the storm and the cowardice, summit mission is off. Rob decides he wants “redemption” and snakes first drop, looks like shit while he’s doing it. Grind our teeth but have some great turns down the bowl. Things are looking up in the next run; we hit up the gully skier’s right of lift line (RMYF…?) and get the green light to run it out to the bottom. Don’t have to ask us twice, and first several turns in particular are through some deep and excellent wind deposits. Tired of pulling around the Belafontes, I make a gear exchange for the Powders. Next run is a bigger hike up past Hollywood rock; turns out Rob drags ass going uphill too. We contemplate Laura Bush in more ways than one, but Shocklee redirects to Slashed Eyeball. Terrain here is super cool, snow a little less so, and the group is a goddamn mess, stopping in slide paths, dropping gloves, and of course making a mess of actually skiing the chute too. More carnage ensues on a subsequent traverse, but I’m able to sneak a first-drop on a sparsely-treed pitch with a little air near the top. Pretty fun stuff.

After that we hustle to make two more runs, coming down the front side first on Tiger #-something, and then hiking up to Corner Pocket. See some Warren Miller pros along the way but aren’t impressed. Max gets first tracks and does a barrel roll; Lacasse and I back up and take the cornice with a running start, still pretty mellow in the end. We cross the bridge at the bottom of the gully and head to the tent for a massive pitcher, mend some fences with our group and truck back down the road. Find the crew at Avalanche, get our regularly scheduled pizza in and then head to Rum Bar for a little more excitement. Laura is back on her loop, we drink them out of Kahlua and switch to White Rooms. Quiet night in the end, big day ahead. Alarm clock seems to ring as soon as head hits the pillow.

Hiking out to shuttle pickup

Back at Mattie and Maud’s, Kramer is in civilian clothes; the black toe has got him out for the count. We put 3 in the Prius, leave camber behind, and head up the canyon. Barely avoid getting sold a heli package in the tent, we come down to the parking lot and Shocklee promptly recruits us into a full group. New crew is fully comprised of ski-town locals, and we hit it off right away. Get on the mountain for a warmup down Cabin; everyone’s on good behavior (tracks are spooned), it’s bluebird and the snow is perfect. Shocklee abuses Lacasse with a top-to-bottom run, but we’ve passed our test.

There’s not much discussion of the matter; on the next lap, we pack up for Billboard. Not too bad a physical slog in the end, up until the ridge proper anyway. At a flat section a steep face with a hell of a hero line through it comes into sight; turns out those Warren Miller pros have it in ‘em after all. Things really start getting interesting once we hit the ridge proper. Clinging to the rope for dear life, rock climbing footholds, and Lacasse helping Felix out with a ski-pole staircase. Group’s getting real tight, and we’re psyched as hell to even get to the top, and I remark that it’s just a bonus we get to ski something down from there. Understatement of the century.

The group making the final ridge climb, courtesy John Shocklee's instagram

Shocklee points below to the main route, which is Pope Face into Pope Chute. On offer as well, he says, is the line we saw on the way up, Panty Waist Face. Shocklee nominates Lacasse and I for this one, and scares everyone else off of it. At least he offers to accompany us down to the entrance, so on we go. No pressure.

Approaching final ridge climb; Panty Waist Face visible in center of frame

The entrance is a traverse through some rocks, with no cornice or lip into the main face. The existing line threads through some rocks, not super tight but enough to make you think. Beyond a choke it’s a sea of snow. We make a detailed plan with Shocklee, and then it’s go time. I’m in front, so the honors fall to me. The first turn is a committing one down the fall line, take a couple of controlled arcs and then really let things open up as I shoot through the rock choke. The run is right out of a ski movie; fully planing on the snow, wide-open steep face all around me, absolute freedom of movement. I fly down to the bench and look up to watch Lacasse figure-8 my line, and am just able to get my phone out to capture this last turn and slide into home.

The run from top to bottom

We regroup from there and cruise down a huge powder field out to the cat track. We reward ourselves with a slice of pizza out of Roth’s bag and then a quick sandwich break, then get back to work. We head for Goal Post, a cool rocky line sitting in the sun that’s more corn than pow but is still a blast. After that we get a choice and I point us towards Mandatory Air. The top pitch is a smooth powder gully where we give the group the run of things, counting to 20 in every language we (Roth) know and telling the next skier to get the fuck out. We meet above the real attraction, the “ pretty radical” Mando Main chute. This begins with the eponymous feature, a short ice fall spanning the entire 15-ft chute before an apron where you can dump some speed. Shocklee warns of bad aspect and I get my ass to the front of the pack so that my Powders will have something to turn in. I navigate down to Shocklee on the apron with no problem, then make my way down into the narrowing chute. It shrinks to a couple of ski widths as it bends to the left, and I carry a bit of a shameful sideslip in a river of slough into a big turn around the curve, mercifully finding a bit of real estate to dump more speed, and then fake my way through some more exhausted turns in dust on crust and finally emerge in the sun to watch the rest of the group navigate. Everyone skis it great, and we try to hustle down to the bus for one more. The bus gets us back at 3:01, so that’s a wrap, and probably for the best.

Roll back to town and connect with Kramer (day was “pretty good”), dispatch the Shred Express on another airport run and settle in for a long night. Golden Block brewery turns out to serve both Dub Cs and White Russians, and we close them down with the admonishment “you’re gonna be sick!”. Jack also there with some choice words about Shocklee. Reunited with Roth somewhere along the way, we stumble over to Avalanche where we get a tour and drink them out of some insolvent brand of coffee liqueur. Lowest-level Oh Hell game proceeds. Next morning and skiing not looking to be in the cards, haven’t exactly got our sea legs about us. Make a last pilgrimage to Mattie and Maud’s and send Matt on his way. Then we’re off to soak and try to get our wits about us, and even catch the Liver From The River drummer at the brewery in Durango. Whew. Memorable stuff.