#and also a terminally supernatural fan badge

[demonsandpieohmy]

[throesofincreasingwonder]

If you had written an episode of Supernatural, what would the plot be? (it can be a one shot or part of an overarching plot for the series)

Okay, so putting aside the common fandom ones that everyone’s taken a swing at- human!Impala, body swap, etc- and going with my strengths, it has to be an 80s vampire movie sort of thing. Very teen slasher, lots of Lost Boys references, a bit of that ‘our vampires are different’ thing that spn likes to do when they bring up other vampire media, the works.

Actually to really nail the Lost Boys vibe it should be in California on a boardwalk, maybe just before the spring break rush so business has been a little slow and the boys don’t have to contend with crowds. Dean is canonically a Lost Boys fan so he has that connection, and having it in Cali gives us room for some Sam flashbacks to his college days- I’m picturing this somewhere in the middle seasons, maybe, after the apocalypse but before the bunker. Probably season 7, as a motw filler ep to distract from the Leviathan stuff.

They stay at a charming but mostly empty b&b just off the boardwalk, still pretty empty because the tourist season doesn’t kick in for a few weeks yet. They’re trailing a string of disappearances- mostly drifters and runaways, but recently some local kids went missing and it made news. The boardwalk might not be at full capacity, but it is running.

Dean gets a shitty leather jacket at one of the stalls just like Michael lostboys. Sam runs into one of his old college buds who’s working on the boardwalk and awkwardly tries to hide the whole hunting thing before eventually narrowly rescuing the guy from the pack of vampires, who it turns out are running the bed and breakfast, and revealing himself as a hunter.

There’s at least one conversation about Jess when said college friend says he heard about the fire and asks Sam if he’s doing okay, if he ever moved on, etc- this is season 7 so I don’t think Sam has fully embraced the eternal hunter lifestyle yet so he’s a little awkward about the whole thing and it provokes some introspection, but he realizes after saving his friend that he does actually like helping people and makes some comment to Dean as they’re driving off about how being a hunter isn't too bad and it 'probably beats being a lawyer'. Maybe he’s even been to this boardwalk before with Jess so we get a flashback? idk I just think it’s weird that they forget about her after like a season or two so she’s at least discussed.

And this is a Lost Boys homage so even though it has its own plot there are plenty of little references- the intro scene is two teenage brothers getting picked off by vampires and the younger one is named ‘Mike’, Dean points out some flyer for a saxophone concert on the beach later in the week (because while Sam is confronting his past Dean is just having a good time on the beach), one of the vampires is named Corey, Dean at first thinks that the vampires are hiding out in a cave in the nearby woods because he has terminal Lost Boys disease until they get like hit over the head and wake up in the secret basement of the b&b surrounded by vampires. They use Echo & The Bunnymen aliases. At one point while they’re talking over the case in a diner Sam makes some crack about The Lost Boys being 'kind of gay' and Dean gets flustered/indignant but can’t come up with a good comeback.

Over the course of the episode they pose as FBI agents, talent scouts, and pretend to be interested in jobs as security guards at the boardwalk (a job position that, for some reason, always seems to be hiring) to get information because I like it when they play around with different cover stories instead of defaulting to FBI but also I had the idea of “Agents McCulloch and Sergeant” so I do want them to play FBI a little, something that quickly falls apart when Sam gets recognized by Unnamed College Friend and has to be like 'oh haha they're fake badges it's a joke. like uhhh' 'federal boob inspectors' 'yeah yeah like that see we're not impersonating federal agents my brother here is just a creep'.

And they get to go to the beach! This is an episode where Sam considers his past and confronts the fact that he doesn't feel as trapped being a hunter as he thought he would at 22, but it’s also an episode where Dean has a good day for once because I think he’s earned a little beach time. They don’t swim on camera or anything but Dean goads Sam to take a break from the research and catch a tan with him or something. Sam makes a comment at the end of the episode about there being sand in his keyboard and something like “that’s enough beach for me for a while” because I am projecting my not-a-beach-person thing onto Sam. Overall it's a fun light-hearted motw episode with a hint at Sam's series long character arc.

Unfortunately as a motw episode in season 7 Cas isn’t there and only gets like a brief mention in the beginning of the episode before they decide to take the case, but Dean got a souvenir so at some point later in the series there’s room for a callback where Dean shows off his shitty black leather jacket and asks Cas if he thinks he looks good in it- canon typical queerbait, you know how it is. Maybe there’s another motw episode in a later season where Sam’s college friend comes back as a vampire or something because that feels like something spn would do.

CW hire me for the fake spn reboot.