#and at that point you're just being a societal plague

[awaiting-my-escape]

Oh just in case I'm being scrutinized by someone who really could be doing a million other things that would be actually responsible instead of neurotic, obsessive, and narcissistic, the incorrect label you were looking for was "pretentious", but that's more of that whole projection thing that's textbook for narcissists and is not an accurate label.

Like for real I'm just trying to live my life and grow as a person so when I said I wasn't going to play narcissist's games with people who would rather waste time clowning around trying to "win" rather than also being mature and responsible and growing as people, I meant it. I don't need to dig for receipts, I never had any desire to use them, but even if I did they've not been made hard to access. I do not want to be involved in nonsense and if this were truly a game that I was forced into, I would quit.

If I am forced to continue playing a game which should have never been started, I will release what I have and the outcome will be brutal. Quit while you're ahead. I know it's virtually impossible for me to win a narcissist's game, but I absolutely know how to make everyone lose. Do not force my hand.

[currentlyfckingurmom]

Her Song part 4

"Do you think I should've kept her home from school?" I nervously ask Ash as we're seated behind the cafe counter, waiting for any customers.

"No, Y/N. The kid had a migraine, not an aneurysm. She felt fine last night and this morning, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, there you go. You can't protect her from everything. Just relax and enjoy Blondie singing about being 22 and getting hammered," Ash concludes.

"The song means so much more than that, you know. I thought I taught you better than this," I scold her.

"I know, but that's not the point. When's the last time you even went out?"

"I 'went out' plenty when I was dancing in a thong to afford the mountain of bills that comes with a newborn baby," I remind her bitterly.

"Right, sorry. But, c'mon, it can be fun if you're with the right people. Or person. As in a single woman, maybe blonde...British..." she trails off with a suggestive smirk.

"Stop. Literally stop, Ash. You're freakin' weird. I've met her like twice. Besides, she's like a totally amazing, famous actress and I'm...well, I'm me."

"Shut the fuck up. Stop acting like you aren't amazing," she snaps.

"I'm twenty-one and I have a kid, Ash. Not many people are gonna wanna take that on. Especially not people my age."

"So go for a MILF. Simple. Hey, maybe the Brit will introduce you to Scarlett Johansson," she suggests with a proud smile as if she just unmasked Jack the Ripper and provided a solution to everything.

"Oh god. Please stop."

"Never. You need to have some fun."

"According to my hometown, I've already have plenty of fun," I joke.

"That's not funny, Y/N. Those fuckers are dumb for ever believing him over you," Ash states seriously.

Whatever smart remark I was about to make was cut off by the door opening, and in walked the very woman that had plagued my mind ever since she walked in that rainy day. She quickly catches my eye and begins to walk toward us with a sweet, handsomely crooked smile.

"Good morning, Florence. How are you today?" I greet her.

"I'm doing well. How are you?"

"Oh, she's doing a lot better now," Ash butts in from beside me. I deliver a swift kick to her lower leg in retaliation and confusion blossoms across Florence's face at Ash's wince.

"Sorry, she's, um, I'm- tea?" I stammer, feeling my face heat up to my ears.

Laughing, she nods and says, "Yes, please. That would be lovely."

"For here?" I ask, to which she nods. "Coming right up, then."

I work silently, ducking my head to avoid eye contact as Ash and Florence make small talk. I hear Florence ask, "You all seem pretty young to be working here alone. Is this shop locally owned?"

"Um yeah, actually, I own it," I interject timidly.

"Oh, no way! That's so cool! How old are you lot, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Ash and I are both 21, and David is 24," I tell her as I set her tea down in front of her.

"That's amazing. There aren't enough young entrepreneurs in the world. I mean, everybody just thinks they have to take this set-in-stone path and I love how our generation just decided that societal norms needed a change-up," she gushes adorably.

"I couldn't agree more," I chuckle. "Do you work around here?"

"I live in apartment a few blocks up the road and I work a few blocks further down. Which is why I'm always walking by and stopping in. I promise I'm not a stalker or anything."

"Hm, are you sure you're not a stalker? I could totally see you being a stalker. Maybe even add a sprinkle of psychopathy in the mix," I tease with faux seriousness.

"Oh, is that what you think of me?" she kids with a smirk.

"Wow, I'm really starting to feel like a third wheel. Bosslady, if you're gonna keep flirting, can I take my break?" Ash interjects.

Just like that, the vibrant blush returns to my cheeks. "Sure, go ahead."

She wiggles her eyebrows at me as she makes her escape, and I'm very tempted to throw a bag of coffee grounds at her head.

Florence's phone dings and she checks the message before saying, "That's my work. I've got to go. Thank you for the tea, Y/N."

"Anytime, Florence."

She stands up and just before she reaches the door, I get the feeling that I forgot something. "Hey, wait!" I call. "Have you listened to Red (Taylor's Version)? It just dropped," I ask, gesturing to the speakers currently playing "Holy Ground" in the shop.

"Yes, I have. One of my friends is obsessed with Taylor Swift," she replies, laughing.

"Oh, well, have you heard "Enchanted" off of Speak Now?"

"No, I don't believe I have."

"Well, uh, I think you should. Listen to it, I mean. I really like it," I tell her as I fiddle with the corner of a napkin. And I was enchanted to meet you, I think to myself.

"I will definitely give it a listen. I'll see you tomorrow, Y/N."

"See you tomorrow, Florence," I say as she leaves the shop. "Wait, tomorrow? Does that mean she's coming back tomorrow?" I ask myself out loud.

"Yes, you clueless idiot," Ash says as she emerges from the backroom, scaring the shit out of me.

Recovering from my mini heart attack, I glare at her. "People really need to stop scaring me like that. At this rate, my heart's not gonna make it to 25."

"Then stop being such an easy target."

"You're very annoying today, Ashlynn."

"Mhm, sure, whatever. That whole situation with Florence, by the way, kinda gay. Just sayin'."

"Don't you have some jackass of a dude to call or something?"

"Jeez, no need for the attitude."

[mariolandavid]

Ko Samui - Pt 1

Nature is frightening. That terror comes in many forms. Hurricanes. Cyclones. Earthquakes and Volcanos. It tears the ground from under us. Rains fire from above. The forces of nature are a horrifying and terrifying force. It can be said at times that Mariola occupies this bracket of natural force. When wronged, when unhappy, you don't want to be the wrong side of it. Sukhothai airport were not so lucky.

"You're an airport. And you don't take card. Well that's embarrassing isn't it"

Having not forgotten the ludicrous taxi situation on the way into Sukhotai, the airport nowhad the temerity to deny snacks and a diet coke. Why? Because we didn't have cash. Not being able to use a credit card in an airport, by definition an entry point of international currency; where those arriving might not have seen your currency in their lives, should be in the same bracket as Bubonic plague infection. Once a systemic issue. Now rarely mentioned.

Unfortunately no one has told Sukhothai airport this. So here we were, angrily grumbling. Wronged. Frustrated. Bangkok luckily is in the 21st century and therefore find it easy to separate 30 somethings from their money via card transactions. Bonchon was happy to do so; tempting us to pay over the odds for soy garlic wings meal deals. These were semi divine. A nice break from blog writing. I was all in for this layover. Take my Visa and bring me wings.

Even Bangkok construed to ruin this enjoyment by being a little goody goody. That dweeb who turns up at your work softball events, with their small laminated ring binder filled with rules and regulations. Who wrings joy from the world. Who finds the pettiest rules. Enforcing them to a draconian tee. Forcing hapiness from this earth at the expense of order. In this case, I had travelled, with a 150ml deodorant can in hand luggage through the following sets of customs. UK, France, Singapore (twice), Malaysia (3 times), Indonesia (twice), Vietnam (3 times), Cambodia (twice) and, funnily enough, Bagkok..

This time enough was enough. That excess 50ml of deoderant? Punish the interloper. Strip it from him. Leave him stinking on the runway. Into the bin it went.

It was only an hour flight and miraculously I could not sweat for that amount of time. A moment to say God rest your soul Bionsen deodorant, you did your duty.

Lub'D was a slick modern hostel. It had all the mod cons you were expecting. You could pay on card. Electricity flowed freely through these modern inventions: wires. Plumbing was everywhere. Your key was also a bracelet (okay I'll stop being fascetious, that one was actually quite cool).

Modern, well decked out and only slightly terrifying due to the planes flying 15m over your head, they were somewhat misguided in somewhow not including beer on their happy hour... but we lived. We settled, had a walk down the beach, watched a fire show, ate Prad Ka Prow and I did my best impression of Grandpa Simpson;  the speaker next to me causing me to ever so slightly mishear every single thing Mariola said all night at dinner. I'd regularly parrot back things like "Loose Cat Tweezers??", or "Energy sight hoop?". When I probably knew that's not what she'd said....

A thing we have realised again this trip, is that (surprise surprise) the two of us like organised fun. We crave it. A day without structured activity leads to societal collapse. Like with the bees. Without purpose we just kinda fall away, probably go off to bed and don't come back out again. Knowing this, we started scouring for some stuff to do and found a local ATV tour for the next day. Dusting off our driving thumbs we headed off to our dorm ready to rest.

Or at least we would have rested if the dorm wasn't filled with ghosts of my past. The bunk opposite me held a lad from Rochdale, the town over from mine growing up (horrible place, nice guy). The bed to the left had a girl finishing her first year of Leeds university. I immediately betrayed my age saying "yeah Trinity shopping centre, it's new you know". Her, obviously baffled, said "oh I didn't think that was new, is it?" to which I had to reply, well yeah no, I mean, it was new 10 years ago when I was at university....

This girl was likely in a womb at that point, waiting for the day she would speak to some old git complaining how the town was different in his day. Ah well. I'm coming to grips with having to speak to children born in the 2000's now who improbably are somehow legal adults. One day I'll get used to and accepting of it. Today I wonder why they aren't in Wimpy after their bowling party. We can all grow.

Morning came and the ATV pickup truck rocked up. Open top, just some rails in the back for protection. We were soon dealing with swirling winds as we tore down the road to the ATVs. What started with "hey this open top vibe is cool" soon became "ah hell, not a highway again" as we clung on for dear life, shielding our eyes from passing debris.

We arrived and found a Dutch family engaging in minor fraud, passing off what appeared to be a 8 year old boy as "definitely thirteen" so that he was allowed on an ATV. The cheery Australian owner was only happy to oblige, finding a miniscule bike to help this child kill himself. Frankly he did everything short of jerry rigging his own booster seat and we soon set off with the sound of cacophonous V8 engines crashing through the air.

It's a liberating experience thundering through countryside on an ATV. Nothing feels beyond you with those wheels. You feel like you're in a tank. Able to scale logs, sand, dirt, water. Land sea and earth are no barrier to your will. The group forged its own path through the landscape. Mariola and I had succumbed to the latest interne meme song ("It's Corn!") and could be heard, not only by ever other baffled non-plugged in tourist, but also in our videos, singing this weird song remixed about a small American boys love for the grain. It's hard to explain. Sorry to the parents reading this, but it's great and you should love corn. It's got the juice.

Scouring the countryside for 2 hours, scaling hills, waterfalls and cravasses, we returned to base and headed on our pick-up truck back home the return trip of course coming back in a rain shower (when travelling at the speed we were, this was akin to receiving an eyefull of wet glass 50% of the trip). We wolfed down a mango salad and some Mama noodles and hit up Samui central mall. The supermarket blew my mind. It had a damn robot selling hand sanitiser. If androids tried to sell me skincare, Aloe Vera gel drink, or any other Ponzi scheme I'd probably get it. Avon ladies should just be replaced by Wall-E and the company would probably overtake Google.

Retail therapy done (one phone screen protector & a host of snacks) we returned, freshened up and finished our night watching the fire dancers at Elephant Beach club, (outrageously talented) enjoyed a taste massaman curry at Best Restaurant (fine) before watching the systematic dismantling of fragile male egos in recent history at Ark bar. Two women stood. Towering over the pool table in skin tight clothing. A casual air and a casual devil may care laugh. A loose grip and a dead eye. These girls were monsters. Pool sharks, plain and simple. I've never seen shots like it. They were naming pockets on double cushion shots while the mysterious "male companion" chaperoning these two ladies, hosting a limp and a number of face tattoos, watched on.

My pool game peaked in 2010 when I was allowed free pre 4pm games and 20p a table after at the Brudenell Social Club. Frankly I've been in inexorable decline since entering the working world and the one day in my life I did 8 ball a guy, I would frame the date on my wall it was such a once in a lifetime occasion. These girls could probably do it in their sleep. We weren't getting suckered into this game. We were content to sit playing match after match of Connect 4 like every other couple in there (after a long day... hell, a long 2-3 months travelling, sometimes you might run out of words for a while..) - silent night over, we turned into bed.

Morning was broken by distressed phone calls. The German girl sharing our room had grossly overslept. To a panic attack level. Imagine having to pack every worldly possession you have. In a hurry, just waking up, while some Thai man who speaks a little english, but not enough to really comfort you, or convince you he's gonna wait for you, while you are tired. Most likely hungover. Possibly still stoned. All the while sweating with fear and anxiety at everything and the world. Yikes, no thanks. We had a lot of time until our boat to Ko Tao because I cannot emotionally or mentally deal with that stress.

The boat trip to Ko tao was seamless. We got a cab to the port, loaded up with carby snacks and readied for the 2 hour trip. An insanely sociable aussie PE Teacher sat next to me and recounted her moving to Vietnam and Thailand for work, how her girlfriend got her a gig in a line of crypto commercials, how, in frightening detail, she had completely totalled her motorbike in Vietnam and casuallly got it re-skinned in luminscent astral purple (looked rad) and some good spots for diving.

When I say sociable, I mean, hell this girl was friendly. She practically assaulted strangers with conversation. It was amazing, like seeing the tropes of tourretes or something else where the body can't help but react to something with a tic, but harnessed for social interaction. I, being English, am physically incapable of this level of extrovert-ism and calmly observed and reacted when it was polite to do so. You guys carry the flag, I just live in this world.

We parted ways, and all of us were ready to hit up sun, sea and surf that awaited in Ko Tao

[linkspooky]

The Hands that Will Save the League

In chapter 321 we're reminded once again of the reoccurring motif of hands reaching out to save someone in need, especially with the double spread close-up of Iida's hands reaching for Deku's hands. I couldn't help but think how this could apply to the league of villains. Hand symbolism has always been associated with Shigaraki (duh), both in the fact that his hands destroy everything they touched, and also his reason for being a villain stems from the fact that not a single hand reached out to save him that day. However, we've also had another character in the league with hands drawn up close and personal reaching out to save the others: spinner.

1. Just an Empty Cosplayer

I'm not the first one to make this observation. @codenamesazanka pointed this out long before me, especially in regards to Spinner's importance to the league, but basically, Spinner's role is that despite being a teenage mutant ninja turtle he's also the everyman of the league. He's not connected to the main conflict of the story by bloodline or legacy, the way Shigaraki, Dabi, and Compress are. He's not someone with an incredibly powerful or deviant quirk like Twice or Toga. He is a victim, but he doesn't have the elaborate villain backstories of Twice, Shigaraki, Dabi, and Toga.

He literally is just some guy with a lizard quirk. He has the weakest quirk in the league and the weakest reason for why he joined the league. Spinner faces societal abuse because of his quirk, but what spurred him to action was seeing Stain appear on TV, and a desire to be a less empty person than he was before. Spinner was pushed, he was rejected by society, but I would say as an inverse to the league who are driven by extraordinary circumstances, Spinner is basically an every man who drives himself to keep up with the rest of the league despite seemingly lacking everything "special" they have.

And I believe this every man quality, and this drive Spinner has is what's going to be the key to piecing the league back together. It's because Spinner sees himself as so far behind the rest of the league, and so much less special than they are, that he's driven to try to understand them.

Not only is Spinner a member who has tried to understand every member of the league in one way or another, Spinner is also someone who similiar to Sihgaraki foils every single character in the league despite just being an everyman.

2. Spinner and Toga

While Spinner and Toga may not have the same level of development to their interactions as Twice and Toga, Spinner reaches out to her once but not twice, and there are a lot of parallels you can draw between the characters.

Both Spinner and Toga joined the league for the same reason, an empty admiration for Stain, without really caring about Stain's ideals. Toga admires Stain because he's covered in blood and fighting for something and she wants to become more like the people she admires, Spinner because he saw himself as pathetic for hiding in his room all day and when he saw Stain taking a stand trying to change the whole world on his own he wanted to become that way too. Which means both of them have a tendency to want to become more like the people they admire, because their own sense of personal identity is so weak.

Himiko and Spinner both define themselves by the way society has rejected them. Spinner has internalized the idea that he's an empty person who can't accomplish anything on his own, every terrible thing other people said about him due to his heteromorph quirk he accepted it. At the same time, Toga was somebody born with a "dangerous quirk" who was told to repress it and then did that living under a fake identity as a normal school girl that would please her parents and the people around her for as long as she could. Both Toga and Spinner are taught by the society around them to be self-loathing and to repress themselves because of their quirks. They're also characters who are both defined by a desire for release.

When Spinner asks if Toga still wants to be in the league because of Stain and she responds, Now I wanna become everyone I love. Spinner comments, "You're so free."

Spinner and Toga both claim they joined the league because of love for another person, they both loved and admired some aspect of Stain, but their real reason for joining, or at least the reason they stay is that deep down both of them desire the freedom to be themselves. Toga wrapping her desires up in language like love for other people, and wanting to become them, is because deep down she believes because of her quirk there's no one who would accept her for herself, as the normal girl she believes she is, no one will let her live as Toga thus she tries to become other people. It's the same for Spinner, who believes he can't be anything other than the Lizard Freak, so he too tries to dress himself up and become a Stain Cosplayer. It's only through the league's acceptance that Toga and Spinner slowly begin to learn that they are good enough on their own, just as themselves, and their priorities begin to shift.

3. Spinner and Twice

Twice and Spinner have several backstory parallels already. They are both characters affected by poverty, Spinner lived in a backwater town plagued by old views of heteromorph quirks, Twice lost his parents and began working to support himself at a young age before becoming homeless. Spinner and Twice were also both labeled in a way that stuck with them, after Twice got a criminal charge in an accident on his permanent record he couldn't find another job after being labeled deviant. Spinner was labeled as a deviant because of his quirk and the idea that he's a lizard freak has always stuck with him the same way that Twice has internalized the idea that "bad people don't get saved."

They also both chose to isolate themselves because of the circumstances they faced. Twice's first response to homelessness was to decide to never trust anybody but himself, and he became a criminal who pulled off heists with only clones of himself as team members until that stopped working for him. Spinner's response was also to shut himself away in his room and become a NEET. They both cut themselves off to the society that labeled them as unacceptable, but in the process they also cut themselves off from other people and became unable to trust others.

While they have major backstory parallels, I believe the greatest parallel between them is going to be that Spinner will inherit that role that Twice had for the league. While Shigaraki is the leader, Twice more than anybody else believed the League to be a family, and encouraged everyone to be friendly with one another.

It's Twice more than anyone else who emphasizes the bond of the league, that they're all strays, that they need to take care of each other and save each other. It's Twice who urges Shigaraki to save Giran because he's one of them. He makes the unspoken bond of the league as a group of miscreants into a spoken one, because Twice wants those things, he's well aware of the fact that he wants trust and acceptance and came to the league to find those things. This is the greatest thing that ties Spinner and Twice's characters together, because they both view themselves as worthless, they define themselves by how they help the other members of the league.

Twice's death so far isn't something that has been really capitalized on by the plot, Hawks has yet to face consequences, we haven't gotten to see much of the league's reaction because they were scattered soon afterwards. However, if Twice's death is going to cause development eventually I believe it will be in the vacuum in the league created now that Twice is gone. There is no longer someone who is urging all of them to be together. Twice's death causes most of the league to become less stable. Toga goes on a killing spree, Dabi attacks Hawks, Compress tries to kill himself in a heroic sacrifice, Shigaraki hasn't gotten the chance to react yet but he's also gotten worse considering he's currently possessed. You could even say that Twice's death has caused other characters to double down on their worst habits.

Dabi's worst habit is that he acts separately from the league and refuses to participate in the group dynamic, believing himself to be a solo avenger. Dabi not trusting or telling the league what he was planning on doing with Hawks, as a consequence of his decision to play solo avenger, caused Twice to trust Hawks which led to his death. Hawks was the one who killed him but Dabi played a part, and when Twice dies Dabi obviously reacts to it, but also his decision is to double down on his bad habit, insisting he's only using the league and he doesn't care about the rest of the group. Toga also doubles down on her bad habit, she runs away from the rest of the league and insists she's only doing this for the freedom to do whatever she pleases, not because you know Twice got killed right in front of her. Compress's arc is less pronounced, but he also does, in fact, try to kill himself in a grand heroic sacrifice for the rest of the league.

When twice dies the league begins to fall apart and everyone acts on their individual worst flaws, ignoring that they were always stronger together as a group. However, there is still one person who wanted the exact same thing Twice did, to be trusted, to belong to a group. This is most likely the role that Spinner is going to grow to, someone who is trusted by everyone in the group.

Notably, when Toga is about to run away it's Spinner who reminds her that the league is a place for them to come back to. Toga who was probably the closest to Twice and spiraling the worst because of his death, and Toga and Twice's friendship was the first time we really saw how much of a "bond" the league had formed with one another, because in the camp arc they barely cooperated, only begrudgingly. It's Spinner who who emphasizes that even though everyone in the league is doing this for individualism "doing what they want" that they are also together as a group. Spinner is set to inherit Twice's role as the heart, because one he tries to understand other people in the league making the effort to reach out, and two Spinner is aware of what he wants just like Twice he wants to be trusted by the rest of the group.

4. Spinner and Dabi

This one is a little bit harder because Dabi's character arc really hasn't started yet. We have just now gotten to the reveal of who he is and what his motivations are, after it being a mystery for so long. However unlike the rest of the league, we haven't really seen how Dabi has reacted and changed by becoming a part of the group. Even if his motivation isn't "I'm only using them" and deep down he really does care, I don't think he's even realized yet that he does care or that he's not just using them. Dabi still believes himself to be alone, and therefore he's still isolated from the rest of the league and flying his revenge quest solo even though he's really not.

In that case, the biggest parallel between Spinner and Dabi is that they both had to be won over by the league. They both joined because of admiration for Stain, probably because Dabi genuinely believed in Stain's ideals of taking down impure heroes because it fit his own agenda so well, whereas Spinner is a self-proclaimed empty cosplayer.

Spinner, however, has already gone through an arc where he was dissatisfied with his reasons for joining the league and didn't believe he belonged with the rest of the group. He didn't have anything to love like Toga. He didn't know yet he wanted friends he could trust like Twice already did. He doesn't have a strong backstory motivation like Compress, or Dabi or even knows what he wants out of society. However, the entirety of MVA is Spinner letting himself be changed because of his interaction with the group.

Spinner failed at life, his quirk is worthless and only good for sticking to walls. He also internalized the idea that he himself was a failure, and locked himself inside believing he couldn't accomplish anything on his own. Spinner says he has nothing he loves, and nothing he wants to do. Not only that he feels unloved and unwanted. However, Spinner finds something to love in Shigaraki, even if he can't find a strong sense of individualism and still believes himself to be worthless he becomes motivated to help others. Spinner, the most normal person in the group with the most worthless quirk, becomes the greatest help to Shigaraki, basically once he gets over himself and his preconceived notions of himself. Because, you don't actually have to be a special person or have a strong quirk to be a hero, you have to reach out a hand.

The same way Spinner was won over by the League, Dabi has yet to be won over. However, if that does happen, it's probably going to look like Spinner's arc. Dabi antagonizes Spinner a lot, but they actually have more in common than they do differences. They both have failure quirks, while Dabi has an overwhelming fire quirk he wasn't allowed to use, Spinner is literally just a gecko. They both also were labeled as disappointments and given up on, Enji gave up on Touya, Spinner never had any potential from the start and locked himself away in his room. However, their paths so far have been opposites, Spinner let Shigaraki reach him and became a part of the group, Dabi at every possible opportunity insists he's doing this all alone. He takes every chance he can to separate himself from others. If Dabi's arc is going to be a mirror to Shoto's arc eventually, then someone has to reach him and convince him he can't do this all on his own, and Dabi can only truly find himself when he's part of the group once more. After all, so far Dabi is the one most resistant to change. Toga's goal has changed, Shigaraki's changed, Spinner has changed, even Compress now admits that while they're just a gang of thieves that he cares more about everyone else's dreams than his own. Dabi is still nursing a ten-year grudge against Endeavor and doing everything he can to take him down on his own because he hasn't let the group in. And he won't improve or change until he does let others in.

5. Spinner and Shigaraki

I love Compress but I'm skipping over him because his arc hasn't been elaborated on yet. If you want a quick summary though, both Spinner and Compress didn't believe the group to be anything more than a gathering of selfish criminals, however, both of them changed because they wanted to see Shigaraki's dream come true. Not only was Shigaraki the one who inspired both of them to change, but also Compress is the one who first sees how close Spinner is to Shigaraki more than anyone else in the group was.

He also sacrifices himself BECAUSE he's come to realize that what he wants more than his own dreams is to see everyone else's dreams come true. I know Compress's backstory is rushed as all hell, but it almost... almost... works because Compress isn't actually doing this because he's Oji Harima's grandson. His motivation changed a long time ago, he just didn't realize it until he was about to lose the league.

There are a few more parallels, they're both dropouts. It's implied that Compress was literally just a retired and failed stage magician before he decided to become a villain. Hopefully we'll become more on that later because the idea of Compress sucking in showbiz so he decided to follow his grandfather's legacy is really awesome. Spinner was a Neet before he saw Stain on television. They also both have more minor quirks, Compress just shrinks people, Spinner sticks to things. They both also are characters who don't seem important at first, but consistently hover around in the background constantly making sure everyone in the group is okay. Compress calls to check up on people, he talks to Dabi a lot, he tries to keep up with everybody in a melee, it's the little things he does that make Compress same for Spinner. They're both cosplaying as legendary villains who are greater than they are, Stein is cosplaying his grandfather, Spinner is cosplaying Stain, but it's unknown whether Compress really cares that much about his grandfather's ideals, I think he cares about the league more. Compress and Spinner are also people who question and try to understand things, Compress lectures the kids that they had their ideals handed down to them for adult, Compress realizes Spinner's importance to Shigaraki before Spinner even did, Compress and Spinner also both try to understand other people's dreams because they're lacking in their own. Spinner doesn't even have a dream, but he's the one who listened to Shigaraki's dream first.

Now it's been directly said by canon that Spinner and Shigaraki's connection is the most developed, and they are the closest to one another. By developed I mean, it changed over time, when it started out they had almost nothing to do with one another. Spinner was just a rank and file league member that Shigaraki used on the hideout raid. They didn't even get a character introduction scene like Shigarki did with Dabi and Toga.

However, Spinner and Shigaraki's characters are extremely closely tied together. Shigaraki's like the main character of the league, his backstories parallel everyone else's, including the main character of the entire story Deku. He's the one who makes the plans, goes through training arcs, he's the one who the league unites around. However, Spinner actually has all of that too. I just spent a very long time showing how Spinner despite not having an overly complicated backstory has strong parallels to everyone in the league. If Shigaraki is the main character, then Spinner is the everyman / the perspective character, hence why he's the narrator of MVA. Shigaraki is a person of extraordinary circumstance, the symbol of society's oppression who everyone in the league deepy relates to because he's suffered the same way that they have and he accepts them. Whereas, Spinner has suffered because of Hero Society too, he's more like a normal guy who makes an effort to understand everyone around him.

However, Deku wasn't saved by his love interest, or even his childhood friend who is apparently his destined rival, he was saved by Iida trying his best to keep up with him.

Spinner and Shigaraki are both the emotional core of the league in different ways. The league all respects Shigaraki, they rally around his ideas, his dreams are what inspire everybody. However, more and more it's looking like Spinner, ordinary, average, Spinner is working to build emotional connections to everyone in a much more normal way. He talks to Toga and tries to understand her love. He even consoles Toga when twice is gone. He challenges Shigaraki directly to his face. Compress who is always sort of watching the league in the background and checking up on them in little ways notices how hard that Spinner is trying to take care of Shigaraki.

Shigaraki accepts people at their worst and gives them a place to belong, but I think by Spinner's efforts to get to know and understand others, we as an audience are shown how humanizing of a presence that Spinner is on everyone else. Spinner, just being a normal guy, brings out the fact that the rest of the league despite their extraordinary circumstances are deep down just normal people to, who want to be loved normally, and live normally. Spinner literally wakes up Shigaraki, because he remembered the one time that he opened up in front of all of them, and cares enough to try to understand Shigaraki's hurt feelings and what he cares about.

If anything from the last arc in the manga, we're shown at great length, how understanding, reaching out, it all takes effort and it's not as flashy as defeating a villain or rescuing someone from a natural disaster.

Spinner is so important to Shigaraki, because while Shigaraki has given everyone in the group a place where they can be individuals, Shigaraki hasn't realized he himself can be an individual yet. He ultimately, shares the same character flaw as Deku. It's because he's decided that he's going to carry out his dreams for the sake of the league and to create a better future for them, that Shigaraki no longer cares what happens to himself, or about his own future. Everyone talks about Dabi's suicidal nature, but this is something that Shigaraki is challenged on over and over again. What are your motivations. What are your reasons. What do you want to accomplish. He always responds with nothing. There's nothing that he wants, there's nothing worth living for, he only wants to destroy and make a better world for the people who are around him. Shigaraki is the most thoroughly dehumanized character, to the point where he just straight up accepts "god of destruction" because that is at least an identity. Shigaraki needs Spinner and his normalizing influence, because Shigaraki can't see himself as a normal person.

Shigaraki shares the same character flaw as Deku, he does everything for the sake of others, with no regard to himself, which leads to extreme bouts of self-harming and fighting alone. Shigaraki faced off against Endeavor, and basically all the heroes alone even though he did call for backup. However, even before that Shigaraki made the decision to get dangerous risky surgery that would be like hell, because he believed deep down he wasn't good enough alone. Shigaraki just does not care about himself and is unable to see himself as an individual, which is exactly why he needs someone to care for him and see him that way.

Shigaraki's greatest challenge to date is that he's been dehumanized so thoroughly, and lost sight of himself to the point where he's lost even his own body autonomy. When Shigaraki is battling for possession of his body as AFO attempts to take total control and make him into a symbol again, denying him his personhood, we're set up directly with Spinner being the one who reminds us that Shigaraki is just a person, who likes video games, and gets along with his friends. It's Spinner who notices right away that AFO is different from Shigaraki and challenges him the same way that he challenged Shigaraki directly in the My VIllain Academia arc. This is all set up most likely, for Spinner being the one to reach out a hand the same way IIDA did, because what Shigaraki needs the most right now, is not a hero who will save him, but rather a normal person who will understand him and remind him that deep down he was just a normal kid too before all of this happened. What Shigaraki is most in need of is a hand that will reach out to him, and Spinner has already done this once putting Nana's hand back on his face when he couldn't wake up, but what he's failed to realize is that it's his own scaly lizard hands that should be doing the reaching out.