#and facial expressions understanding and accepting and reinforcing the power of saying no

[divinestrike]

look . the equivalence of love and safety okay . it gets to me ……

[davidmann95]

Sooo… Superman and the Authority?

magnus-king123 asked: Your thoughts on Superman & the authority Give it to me...lol

Anonymous asked: Seeing Bezos take his little trip into space the same day Morrison puts out a Superman comic that touches on how far we’ve fallen from the days when we dreamed of utopian futures where everyone explored the stars was a big gut punch. Not used to Superman being topical in that way.

Anonymous asked: What'd you think of Superman and the Authority#1?

This is far beyond what I can fit in the normal weekly reviews, so taking this as my notes on the first six pages, with this and this as my major lead-in thoughts:

* Janin's such a perfect fit for Morrison - the scale, the power, the facial expressions selling the character work, the screwing around with the panel formatting as necessary to sell the effect, the numinous sense of things going on larger than you can fully perceive amidst the beauty and chaos. It's a shame he wasn't around 25 years ago to draw JLA, but I'll take him going with Morrison onto other future projects.

* His intro action sequence is such a great demonstration of why Black actually does have something to offer, and also how he's such a dumbass desperately needing Superman to save him from himself.

* While Jordie Bellaire didn't legit go with an entirely monochromatic palate the way early previews suggested, it's still an effect frequently and excellently deployed here. And glad to see Steve Wands carry into this from Blackstars since there's such an obvious carryover from its work with Superman.

* "Gentlemen. Ladies. Others." Great both because of the obvious - hey, Superman's nodding at me! - and because it's a phrasing that reinforces that this take on him (and let's be real Morrison) is old as hell.

* I'm mostly past caring about whether this is an alt-Earth Superman until it becomes indisputable one way or another, this and Action both rule so what does it really matter? But while there are still a couple signs in play suggesting some kind of division (the Action Comics #1036 cover, Midnighter up to time-travel shenanigans) the "lost in time" quote clearly thrown in after the fact to explain how he could have met Kennedy outside of 5G that wouldn't be necessary for an Elseworlds, the assorted gestures towards Superman's current status quo, the Kingdom Come symbol appearing in Action, and that Morrison would have had to completely rewrite the ending if this wasn't supposed to be 'the' version of Clark Kent going forward as was the intent when they first planned it all say to me that no, no fooling around, this is our guy going forward one way or another.

* Janin and Bellaire making the first version of the crystal Fortress ever that actually looks as cool as you want it to.

Anonymous asked: I like that Superman and The Authority is basically the anti-All-Star; instead of the laid back, immortal Superman who is supercharged, we have a stressed, ageing Superman whose tremendous powers are fading. The former will always be there to save us, but the latter is running out of time and needs to pull off a Hail Mary. Also, he mentions in his monologue to Black that he was "lost in time" when he met JFK, so maybe he is the main continuity Clark. Or he's the t-shirt Supes from Sideways.

* You're absolutely right - the power reversal is obvious and the ticking clock in play seemingly isn't for his own survival but everyone around him as he wakes up and realizes all the old icons grew complacent with the gains they'd made and he's not leaving behind the world he meant to. Both, however, are built on the idea of preparing the world to not need them anymore - it'll still have a Superman in his son, but that'll only work because of the others he empowers and inspires. The question is what happens to Clark if he's not going to live in the sun for 83000 years.

* Clark's 'exercise' here does more to sell me on the idea of Old Man Superman as a cool idea than however many decades of Earth 2 stuff.

* Intergang being noted alongside Darkseid and Doomsday speaks to how much Kirby informed Morrison's conception of Superman.

* This isn't exactly the most progressive in its disability politics but at least it makes clear Black's being a piece of shit about it.

* It's startling how much Clark can get away with saying stuff in here you'd never expect to come out of Superman's mouth. "I made an executive decision" "Privacy, really...?" "You have nowhere to go, Black. Nothing to live for." "There are few people in my life who I instinctively and viscerally dislike, and you've always been one of them." It only works because there's zero aggression behind it, he's just past the point of niceties and being totally frank while making clear none of these assessments preclude that he cares and is going to unconditionally do the right thing every time. He is absolutely, per Morrison, humanity's dad picking us up when we're too drunk to drive ourselves home.

* The story doesn't put a big flashing light over it, but it's not even a little bit subtle having the material threat of the issue be a ticking timebomb left by the carelessness and hubris of generations past.

* Manchester keeps trying to poke the bear and prove his hot takes about Superman and it's just not working. The front he put up under Kelley is gone after decades of defeats, and as Morrison understands what actually conceptually works about him as a rival to Superman underneath the aging nerd paranoia he's exposed as what he absolutely would be in 2021: a dude with a horrific terminal case of Twitter brainworms. I was PANICKED when I heard there was an 'offensive term' joke in this, I was braced for Morrison at their well-meaning worst, but it's such a goddamn perfect encapsulation of a very specific breed of Twitter leftist who uses their politics first and foremost as a cudgel and justification to label their abrasive, judgmental shittiness as self-righteousness (plus it's a killer payoff to a joke from way back in his original appearance). Cannot believe they pulled that off when they're so very, very open about basically not knowing how the internet works.

* @charlottefinn: Manchester Black using his telekinetic powers to force someone he hates to fave a problematic tweet so that he can screenshot it and start a dogpile

@intergalactic-zoo: “Once they cancel Bibbo, Superman won’t be *anyone’s* fav’rit anymore!”

* Friend noted this issue had to be fully the conversation because the whole premise stands on the house of cards of these two somehow working together, and with three 'silent' inset panels the creative team pulls off that turning point.

* So much of this feels on the surface like Morrison bringing back the All-Star vibes with Clark, but when he drops a "That's all you got?" in a brawl you realize what's underlining that bluntness and confidence in the face of failure is that deep down this is still the Action guy too. This dude ain't gonna get wrecked in his Fortress while the other guy chuckles about him being A SOFT WEE SCIENTIST'S SON!

* Bringing up Jor-El made me realize that Morrison already spelled out that this is the final threat to Superman, what he faces at the end of the road:

"Now it's your turn, Superman."

* A l'il Superman 2000/All-Star reference with the Phantom Zone map!

* There's so much intertextuality going on here even by Morrison standards - Change or Die with the old hero putting together a team of morally nebulous folks out to 'fix' everything, Flex Mentallo with the muscleman trying to redeem the punk, Doomsday Clock with the fate of the world hinging on whether Superman can get through to a meta stand-in for an idea of 'modern' comics cynicism, DKR and New Frontier and Kingdom Come and Multiversity and Seven Soldiers and What's So Funny and All-Star and Action and the last 5 years of monthly Superman comics and Authority and probably Jupiter's Legacy and Tom Strong - but none of that's needed. You could go in with the baseline pop cultural understanding of the character and not care about any of the inside baseball shit and get that this is a story about a leader of a generation that let down the people they made all their grand promises to as inertia and day-to-day demands and complacency let him be satisfied with the accomplishments they'd made long ago, looking at a new era and seeing the ways its own activists are dropping the ball. The only thing that fundamentally matters in a "you have to accept you're reading a superhero story" sense is that because he's Superman he's willing to own up to it and listen to people who might know better about some things and try to set things right while he and those who'll take his place still have a chance. And yes, the oldster looking back on their legacy with a skeptical eye and hoping for better from the next generation, hoping most of all that their little heir apparent can fulfill the promise inside of him instead of being a provocating little shitkicker, is obviously also autobiographical.

* The overlaying Kennedy reprisal is such a great visual of a sudden intrusive thought.

* The Kryptonite secret is the obvious "This is going to matter!" moment, but "He lied about his son" is a bit that doesn't connect to anything going on right now so maybe that's important here too? More significantly, the Justice League can't actually be the villains here but that Ultra-Humanite's crew are in an Earth-orbiting satellite makes pretty clear what's up.

* I've said before that between Superman, OMAC, and a New Gods-affiliated speedster this was going to use all of Morrison's favorite things. King Arthur playing a role isn't exactly dissuading me.

* Love the idea that all the antiheroes have their own community in the same way as the capes and tights crew. They definitely all privately think the rest are posers though and that they alone are Garth Ennis Punisher in a mob of Garth Ennis Wolverines.

* Manchester's fallen so far he's gone from trying to convince Superman to kill to convince him to dunk on people for their bad takes and Clark just doesn't get it. Official prediction of dialogue for upcoming issues:

"According to these bloody Fortress scans, the only thing that can restore your powers is an unfiltered hit of dopamine. Don't worry, Doctor Black has a few ideas."

"Hmm. Maybe I'll plant a nice tree?"

"...fuck you."

* Ok I already talked about how great the Fortress looks in here but LOVE this library.

* A pair of pages this seems like the right spot to discuss from Black's original appearance that underlines both his and Superman's inadequacies up to this point:

Responding to the problem of "the government and penal system are hopelessly corrupt" neither of them has any actual notion of what to do about it in spite of their respective posturing beyond how to handle individual outside actors - each is in their own way every bit as small-minded and reactionary as the other. Clark's coming around though, and he's holding out hope for the other guy.

* Superman: Have a lovely mineral water :) proper hydration is important :)

Manchester Black: *Is a dude who can get so mad he vomits and passes out. At water.*

* That last page is the one to beat for the year, and does more to put over the idea of this as an Authority book than that Midnighter and Apollo are literally going to show up. It also feels like Morrison tacitly acknowledging all the ways the premise could go or at least be received wrong - from Superman saying 'enough is enough' to who he's bringing into the fold to go about it - in the most beautifully on-the-nose fashion imaginable. Maybe they'll save us all! Or maybe they'll drown us in their vomit.

[kikiofthevast]

"Let It Out" Lyric Analysis(?)

(I might do one of every song, but I'm at least starting with my favorite.)

Spoilers for TGWDLM

---

Mr. Davidson: What's in your soul? Is your heart so damp and bleak, that you won't give us a peek of your soul?

This first line grouping is sort of similar to "What Do You Want Paul?" just with a different tone. Basically just asking Paul what he wants, despite the method of doing so being much more forceful and unsettling.

It's also worth noting that the aliens are touching Paul. Running their hands over his body in a way that he is visibly uncomfortable with. Especially since he doesn't know most of these people very well (with the exceptions of Bill and Ted) and they are invading his personal bubble.

Nora: Just let it out. There's a voice inside of you, on the edge of comin' through, what's it about?

This line is indirectly telling the viewer/audience about Paul's pre-existing internal conflict. These creatures, despite being creepy, hivemind aliens, are telling him that they value what he wants. What does he want?

He wants a relationship with Emma. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but considering the things that other characters wanted, with examples being Ted wanting to be rescued and Bill wanting to rescue his daughter, it really does matter.

It is worth noting that Paul has been present for every song that we see occur (with the exception of the opening number, "You Tied Up My Heart", and "Show Stoppin' Number"), and we saw the effect that "You Tied Up My Heart" had on Charlotte, she started dancing to the tune as part of her own internal conflict. Being present and exposed to the hive so much had to awaken something inside Paul's musical-disliking brain.

Whether he wanted it to or not.

Hidgens: And I know it's a singular voice, Paul, you've just got to give up the choice.

It's kind of implied that the residue/spores from the meteor have been taken in by Paul by now, as the hive has some loose connection to him, able to see in his head to an extent. Everything that they are saying is very personal and directed solely at him.

"Give up the choice" is a unique choice of words, and I believe that it's essentially telling Paul to stop thinking. Just accept the hive and give up your free will, and you can be happy.

This is also the hive's only line where it refers to itself as I. Either it reinforces that the hive is one entity as Hidgens said earlier on, or it suggests that each person still has some independence, which I personally don't believe is the case.

Ensemble: Just let it out! Let it out! Let it out!

This is where things start to get exciting. Paul is trying to reject the things being said to him, the voice in his head telling him to give up, but it isn't working. His body is responding to the music around him, like Charlotte as I mentioned earlier, but unlike Charlotte it is completely against his will.

Paul looks confused and a bit frightened and I really have to give credit to Jon Matteson because he fricking nailed the part. I would understand that Paul is a bit afraid that he's dancing without his consent.

Ensemble: Let it out! Let it out! Let it out!

See previous paragraph. More non-con dancing and Paul being scared and uncomfortable.

Ensemble: Just let it out! Let it out! Let it out!

Blah blah blah, moving on.

Ensemble: Let it out, let it out!

Paul: Never!

Jon Matteson has an impressive vocal range, I must say. Paul has begun to succumb to the hive, not entirely of his own free will, more as if his free will is being manipulated into joining the hive.

Hidgens *spoken*: It's your proximity to the meteor, Paul. The air in here is thick with its spores! Feel your apotheosis begin as they take root in your mind! Did you really think we'd let you kill us? You'll be one of us before you can pull that pin!

Okay, so here we have the root of the problem. Paul is being turned into a slave of the hive, really against his will. The hive was confident that this would happen. Paul would be caught inhaling countless spores with every breath and quickly being overtaken by the hive.

Paul: What was that?

GPG: You let it out.

GPG (Greenpeace Girl) sounds very satisfied here. Paul is being taken over, and there isn't really anything that he can do about it.

Paul: Was that a note? Or just a sound? Am I finally comin' round to a rhyming scheme! Oh god! Just stop it!

Once again, I cannot fricking praise Jon Matteson enough. This is exactly the amount of emotion and power that should be encapsulated in this moment, and he nails it again.

This is a very powerful sequence. Paul is half-infected, half-not. The infected half of him is kind of a twisted Patton Sanders-esque character, bubbly and happy, but something sinister underlaying that personality.

I'm just gushing about Matteson now. Don't mind me.

Paul: I'm split in two. Is this me? Or is this you? Am I dead? I'm comin' apart at the seams!

Basically directly telling the audience exactly what's happening. Nothing much else to say except that I love the stark difference in facial expressions here.

Paul: La da da da da da da da da no! No no no no no no no!

Paul is clearly fighting an uphill battle here. His mind is succumbing, whether he likes it or not, and whatever he tries to do doesn't stop him from singing.

Also, he claps his hands over his mouth, which I thought was a nice touch.

Ensemble: Just let it out, let it out, let it out!

Paul dry retches during this "chorus" and he tries a last-ditch effort to get rid of the spores, but they're permanently embedded in him now. He can't stop the apotheosis.

Ensemble: Let it out, let it out, let it out! Just let it out, let it out, let it out! Let it out, let it out, let it.

The shift in music here is very clear, and the way Paul's hand tightens in a fist is indicative of his thoughts and internal conflict.

Paul: I've never been happy. Wouldn't that be nice? Is this the secret? Singing and dancing through life? Is my integrity worth anything at all? But happiness can't come before its fall.

Here we see Paul's resolve start to waver. He knows he can't win. It isn't possible, and he's just in too deep. Blah blah blah internal conflict blah blah blah Jon Matteson blah blah blah. The line about integrity may seem out of place, but Paul is talking about the silent promise he made to Emma about never being in a musical.

Also, this isn't just Infected!Paul singing, this is Human!Paul singing too. Which is a big thing. Considering that he was out of tune singing Moana earlier in the show (but that might just have been because he was put on the spot).

Paul: Am I crazy? Maybe I've always been. Become what I've hated. Or maybe I never did. It's awful freeing now, to share the hate I felt. But what will I let in if I let it out?

Ensemble: Let it out. Let it out.

Paul is questioning himself. Is being part of the hive really that bad? He's being swayed, thinking twice and contradicting himself, doubting his own beliefs.

Then he even admits it. It feels good to be connected to it, and since he already has the hive in his head, all it needs to do is convince Paul that it's the best thing. And the thing is, it's working.

Paul: Am I crazy? I don't think so.

Ensemble: Let it out! Let it out! Let it out!

Paul: Maybe I've always been.

This is actually the only full line that Infected!Paul has. This is also a rehash of the bridge of the song earlier on. Not much more to say here.

Ensemble: Just let it out! Let it out! Let it out!

Paul: God help me out!

Ensemble: Let it out, let it out!

Paul: If I let it out!

That last sustained note sounds like a fire siren, I'm not kidding. But Paul is able to push past the hive in his head, and pull the pin. Supposedly, blowing up the meteor.

Although, he likely didn't succeed...

...but that's a song for another day.

It's also worth noting that Paul's "I don't like musicals!" just before he throws the grenade is very clearly desperate and strained. The hive is still eating away at him, eating away at what he wants.

---

Until next time.

[starwarsnonsense]

The Tangled Thread of Fate - The Beauty and the Tragedy of the Bond Between Kylo Ren and Rey

This post will contain extensive spoilers for The Last Jedi - consider yourself warned!

Before the release of The Last Jedi, very interesting language was being used to describe the connection between Rey and Kylo Ren. Rian Johnson called them “two halves of our protagonist”, and the Star Wars Databank described their “intertwined destinies” and mutual fascination. While the period prior to the film’s release saw fandom wars waged over the implications of these descriptions and what they meant for the characters going forward, The Last Jedi has finally given us some answers.

I endeavoured to be reserved when it came to my predictions for Rey and Kylo in The Last Jedi, and the film ended up not going the way I thought it would (seriously, how gloriously meta is that line?) by far surpassing my expectations for both the characters themselves and - especially - their shared story. Rey and Kylo are linked on a far deeper level than I expected to see: they have a Force bond that links them and allows them to communicate across the galaxy. This is the device through which they develop profound empathy for and understanding of one another, and it facilitates the establishment of a beautiful and profound relationship.

I won’t break down each of their encounters and will focus on the first two acts of the film (n.b. this is in the interests of time - I will write more on the third act separately), but the bond between Rey and Kylo can broadly be described as progressing from confusion and antagonism, to acceptance and curiosity, and finally to mutual sympathy, understanding and tenderness. The Force bond scenes between Rey and Kylo in the first half of the film start with Rey attempting to fire her blaster at Kylo and end with Rey and Kylo gazing deeply into each other’s eyes as they reach for one another across a fire, moved by each other’s loneliness and comforted by the other person’s presence. The progression is quick but believable, with each encounter building on the previous one and making you buy into the affinity between the characters.

The moment when Rey and Kylo touch hands is a transformative one for both of them, since the act of physical connection sees them both receive a vision of the future. The nature of the visions, and whether they are the same (just being interpreted differently based on the receiver’s perspective) or different (varying according to the nature and desires of the receiver), is left ambiguous, but the effect of the moment is profound. In particular, it fills Rey with a desire to save Ben Solo. She tells Luke:

There's still conflict in him. If he were turned from the dark side, that could shift the tide. This could be how we win. [...] Just now when we touched hands, I saw his future. As solid as I'm seeing you. If I go to him, Ben Solo will turn.

Her belief in this vision, as well as her characteristic hope and optimism, spur Rey to leave the island and go to Ben’s side. She appears to do so with no definite plan, drawn to him by fate and driven by a sense of purpose and possibility. Thanks to the bond they share she feels that she knows Ben as intimately as she knows herself, and her faith in his potential for good and the inevitability of his turn instils her with courage and resolve.

What might have been a beautiful redemption story becomes more of a romantic tragedy because - for all of their shared understanding and tenderness - the visions that Rey and Kylo have had (or, at least, their interpretations of them) are not yet in sync. When Kylo - looking for all the world like the dashing Prince Charming to Rey’s newly awakened Snow White - meets the eyes of Rey as she lies in the coffin-shaped escape pod that carried her from the Falcon to The Supremacy, he sees her arrival as a trigger point: that Rey has come to his side means that his own vision for the future has been put into motion. After listening to Rey explain her vision of him, Ben looks at her tenderly as he says:

I saw something, too. Because of what I saw, I know when the moment comes, you'll be the one to turn. You'll stand with me.

The importance of appreciating the background to Kylo’s betrayal of Snoke cannot be understated. When explaining how he came close to murdering the young Ben Solo as he slept, Luke says:

I saw darkness. I'd sensed it building in him. I'd seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside, and it was beyond what I ever imagined. Snoke had already turned his heart. He would bring destruction, and pain, and death, and the end of everything I love because of what he will become.

Snoke clearly had a grasp on Ben Solo’s mind since Ben was a boy, infecting his thoughts and sowing the seeds of darkness in his mind. Kylo’s first scene in The Last Jedi shows him being ruthlessly humiliated by Snoke, having his failure and weakness rubbed in with terrible cruelty. The punishment even becomes physical, with Snoke torturing his apprentice with a blast of Force lightning when Kylo dares to stand up in a brief display of rebellion. Later, when he has Rey and Kylo with him in his throne room, Snoke boasts of knowing Kylo’s every thought, having long used this perception to ensure his obedience and loyalty. 

In short, Kylo’s master has kept him obedient and dependent by ruthlessly exercising his dominance - in particular, he achieves this by monitoring Kylo’s every thought. In an earlier encounter with Rey, Kylo owns up to being “a monster” with an air of resigned bitterness - he is Snoke’s creature and, at that point in the film, he feels he has no reprieve from that fate. Rey’s arrival on The Supremacy is crucial because it is the show of faith that Ben feels no one else ever afforded him - his mother had so little faith in his ability to resist the darkness that she sent him to his uncle; his uncle had so little faith in his ability to resist Snoke that he contemplated murdering him in his sleep; and his new master had so little faith in his ability to resist the light that he humiliated and tortured him. Rey, however, is different - she is the only person in the galaxy who sees a person worth caring about beneath his mask. And her show of faith is what gives Kylo the resolve he needs to take action based upon his father’s warning from the bridge - Kylo knows that Snoke is “using him for his power”, and Rey’s faith in him gives him the strength necessary to finally liberate himself from Snoke’s mastery.

Kylo’s rebellion against Snoke requires him to draw upon all the qualities that he has acquired - his cunning, his resolve and his remarkably potent mental abilities - and apply them. While Kylo speaks softly and gently to Rey in the elevator, attempting to reassure her with his confidence in his vision for their future, he cannot betray his true plans to her. Doing so would risk allowing Snoke to discover the nature of his intent. So, instead, Kylo allows the old man to set the table beautifully for his own murder by indulging in the sin that Luke identifies as hubris - when he looks into Kylo’s mind, Snoke sees a finely tempered blade that is sharpened by a new sheen of purpose and conviction. And instead of fearing it, Snoke feels pride. Kylo’s cleverness lies in allowing Snoke to assume that his will still mirrors his own, when his allegiances are truly with Rey - Driver’s facial expressions brilliantly convey those brief moments when Kylo is forced to watch Rey’s agony, conveying how he suffers with her but forces himself to remain restrained until the crucial moment comes. 

When Kylo successfully turns and ignites the lightsaber, slicing Snoke clean in half, he and Rey fight the Praetorian Guard together in a sequence that represents the beauty and glory of what they can become by working together with purpose and resolve. Their movements are perfectly in sync - they are graceful, coordinated and always aware of each other in a way that Kylo and Snoke never were. When Rey is endangered Kylo’s eyes dart to her and he fights with fresh vigour and purpose; when Kylo is in a chokehold, Rey tosses him her saber without a moment’s hesitation. Their mutual awareness and affinity, instead of being parasitic and poisonous, is founded on equality and compassion, allowing them both to ascend in the Force and fully realise their potential. 

The high point of the fight is, of course, followed by the crushing disillusionment of what follows it. Kylo, with the light of hope shining in his eyes as he sweats from the exertion of the battle, tells Rey:

It's time to let old things die. Snoke, Skywalker, The Sith, Rebels - Let it all die, Rey. I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy. 

Rey looks at him with heartbreak, recalling Padme’s dismay as the extent of Anakin’s fall dawns on her at the climax of Revenge of the Sith. Tragically, her faith in Ben Solo has been betrayed. Rey asks him to stop what he’s doing, but Kylo is clearly intent on his vision. Panicked and desperate, he switches to a new tactic:

Kylo: Do you want to know the truth about your parents? Or have you always known? And you’ve just hidden it away. You know the truth. Say it. Say it.

Rey: They were nobody.

Kylo: They were filthy junk traders who sold you off for drinking money. They’re dead, in a pauper’s grave in the Jakku desert. You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You’re nothing. But not to me.

Kylo says this with sincerity, passion and hope. He means it as reassurance - he is painfully aware of Rey’s loneliness and insecurity, so means to alleviate her terrible loneliness by offering up himself to her. She means everything to him, and so Kylo offers up himself in turn. In doing so, he betrays his vulnerability and newly realised dependence upon her - without her, he could have not achieved his victory against Snoke. But Kylo’s words here are also about reinforcing Rey’s own vulnerability, and while I don’t think he uses them with evil intent they have bitter consequences. I feel that Kylo appeals to Rey’s insecurities because this is a tactic that he himself has been subjected to again and again by Snoke. At the start of the film, a despairing Kylo tells Snoke that he has given him “everything” only for his master to beat his weaknesses and failings further into his psyche. Kylo offers an excruciatingly frank outline of Rey’s origin, but attempts to offer her the comfort he was denied in the form of his own love for and acceptance of her. Rey may have meant nothing more than drinking money to her parents, but she is worth everything to him. In Kylo’s mind, the answer to the question of what Rey’s place is in the story is simple - she belongs besides him as his queen.

While Kylo is capable of nobility, bravery, cleverness and love, he remains fundamentally selfish - he cannot see beyond his own hurt and he cannot appreciate that there is any cause greater than him and Rey. What he perceives as his betrayal by his family and all of the prevailing systems - religious and political - in the galaxy has caused him to retreat firmly into the personal realm, which, for him, contains precisely two people worth caring about: Kylo Ren and Rey. He urges Rey to “let the past die”, but, with terrible irony, cannot resolve his own trauma to a degree that would allow him to truly move beyond it. He is ruled by his bitterness and resentment, deeply wounded by the wrongs he has suffered. In contrast to Kylo, Rey’s compassion is indiscriminate and undimmed by the cruelty she has experienced. She would sooner serve others than herself, and that is what makes her Kylo’s moral superior. This moral gulf is what keeps Rey and Kylo apart for now.

While none of us can say what story will be told in Episode IX, I strongly believe that the visions Rey and Kylo had of one another cannot and should not be forgotten. The funny thing about visions and prophecies in Star Wars is that -while they can mislead and be misread - they are rarely flat-out wrong. Rey saw Ben Solo turning if she went to him, and for a brief, shining moment she had a glimpse of the sort of man Ben Solo could be at his best. If the sequel trilogy is to end happily (and since I consider Star Wars to be fundamentally optimistic, I find this likely), I believe that the visions of Rey and Kylo Ren will come true, even though the path travelled to achieve them will be more complicated and tangled than either of them could have anticipated. By the war’s end, I am optimistic that Ben Solo will have returned and Rey and Ben will stand side by side in triumph - to recall Corinthians, love in its truest form always protects, always hopes, and always perseveres.

[khalidaldurai]

Media Representation

Name: Khalid Hamed Al Duari

ID: 114962

Date: Monday, March 11, 2019

Media plays a huge role in building a mental image for world leaders. Most People mainly look at the president of any country based on how media portrays that president.

#Part_1

How the media represent the female leader?

*Example: Margaret Thatcher, British politician and the first woman to serve as prime minister in the history of Great Britain.

How the media represent Margaret Thatcher?

- She is a strong iron woman.

- is controversial because of its policy against workers' rights in Britain.- Combating love of public and compulsory work.

- The art of discussion is good.

- Peaceful and trying to establish the principles of democracy in countries suffering from security turmoil.

#Part_2

How male world leaders use communication?

*Example: Bill Clinton, Donald Trump and Nelson Mandela.

a- How Bill Clinton use communication?

1. He knows when to stop and go.

Clinton uses hard-stop pacing to add emphasis to lines like: “We’re going to keep President Obama on. the. job.” and “President Obama started with a much. worse. economy.” In those moments, he squeezes every word for maximum impact.

2. His gestures sync with his words.

Clinton’s best visual aids are his hands. His arm movements are open and wide, relaying an image of accessibility and authenticity.

3. It’s how he says it, as much as what he says.

If you subscribe to Mehrabian’s formula of communications as 7% verbal, 38% vocal and 55% visual, then you’ll appreciate how Clinton uses facial expressions to put his words on display.

b- How Donald Trump use communication?

1. Social Proof

Social proof shows that other people are in agreement with your message and think it’s a good idea.

The use of social proof creates a self-perpetuating cycle that provides even more certainty which provides more social proof which provides more certainty.

2. Setting the Frame

A “frame” tells people what to think about a subject before they get a chance to decide on a meaning for themselves.

Once again, this strategy reinforces the certainty that Trump provides when he communicates.

One of the ways he sets a frame is by labelling his competitors with derogatory nicknames. He called Ted Cruz “Lying” Ted. He called Marco Rubio “Little” Marco. He calls Hillary Clinton “Crooked” Hillary.

3. An Aspirational Message

An aspirational message is a message that is rather vague with words that have multiple meanings. Because of this, listeners are invited (at an unconscious level) to supply their own meaning and can easily agree with the message.

Here is Donald Trump’s aspirational message: Make America Great Again.

c- How Nelson Mandela use communication?

1. Smile and communicate through body language.

Perhaps one of Mandela’s most endearing qualities was his big, broad, kind smile that lit up the room and communicated acceptance and a warm embrace.  Mandela also carried himself with grace, standing tall, looking people in the eye, and speaking with a firm but humble voice, all of which communicated dignity and respect not only for how he treated others but how he expected to be treated by others, even those who would oppress him.

2. Use simple, yet expressive language.

Some of Mandela’s most powerful quotes used humble words that could be understood by most everyone, painting indelible pictures in the mind of the listener or reader.

3. Be honest and authentic.

Mandela had a clear sense of who he was and presented his true self to everyone, world leader or an ordinary citizen.  He had a unique style.  He didn’t try to be what he wasn’t.  He exhibited his own persona and never tried to adopt someone else’s style, a style which might work for someone else, but won’t necessarily work for you.  Understand and be who you are.

-Understanding from #Part _1 and #Part_2

The leaders knew that media play role in shaping their image inside or outside their countries, because some of them control media and, somehow, they could represent what they want.

However, whenever there is a beloved president, media spotlight him from time to time due to his achievements and good works. On the other hand, if there is an outcast president, media attacks him. Overall, we can conclude that media can be a real and huge influence over the public.

#mass2620  #squspring2019  #meida_issue    #squjr

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New to Manipulation Tactics?:According to Simon:Simon identified the following manipulative techniques:[2]Lying (by commission) : It is hard to tell if somebody is lying at the time they do it, although often the truth may be apparent later when it is too late. One way to minimize the chances of being lied to is to understand that some personality types (particularly psychopaths) are experts at the art of lying and cheating, doing it frequently, and often in subtle ways.Lying by omission: This is a subtle form of lying by withholding a significant amount of the truth. This technique is also used in propaganda.Denial: Manipulator refuses to admit that they have done something wrong.Rationalization: An excuse made by the manipulator for inappropriate behavior. Rationalization is closely related to spin.Minimization: This is a type of denial coupled with rationalization. The manipulator asserts that their behavior is not as harmful or irresponsible as someone else was suggesting, for example, saying that a taunt or insult was only a joke.Selective inattention or selective attention: Manipulator refuses to pay attention to anything that may distract from their agenda, saying things like "I don't want to hear it".Diversion: Manipulator not giving a straight answer to a straight question and instead being diversionary, steering the conversation onto another topic.Evasion: Similar to diversion but giving irrelevant, rambling, vague responses, weasel words.Covert intimidation: Manipulator throwing the victim onto the defensive by using veiled (subtle, indirect or implied) threats.Guilt trip: A special kind of intimidation tactic. A manipulator suggests to the conscientious victim that they do not care enough, are too selfish or have it easy. This usually results in the victim feeling bad, keeping them in a self-doubting, anxious and submissive position.Shaming: Manipulator uses sarcasm and put-downs to increase fear and self-doubt in the victim. Manipulators use this tactic to make others feel unworthy and therefore defer to them. Shaming tactics can be very subtle such as a fierce look or glance, unpleasant tone of voice, rhetorical comments, subtle sarcasm. Manipulators can make one feel ashamed for even daring to challenge them. It is an effective way to foster a sense of inadequacy in the victim.Vilifying the victim: More than any other, this tactic is a powerful means of putting the victim on the defensive while simultaneously masking the aggressive intent of the manipulator, while the manipulator falsely accuses the victim as being an abuser in response when the victim stands up for or defends themselves or their position.Playing the victim role: Manipulator portrays themself as a victim of circumstance or of someone else's behavior in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion and thereby get something from another. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy to play on sympathy to get cooperation.Playing the servant role: Cloaking a self-serving agenda in the guise of a service to a more noble cause, for example saying they are acting in a certain way to be "obedient" to or in "service" to an authority figure or "just doing their job".Seduction: Manipulator uses charm, praise, flattery or overtly supporting others in order to get them to lower their defenses and give their trust and loyalty to the manipulator. They will also offer help with the intent to gain trust and access to an unsuspecting victim they have charmed.Projecting the blame (blaming others): Manipulator scapegoats in often subtle, hard-to-detect ways. Often, the manipulator will project their own thinking onto the victim, making the victim look like they have done something wrong. Manipulators will also claim that the victim is the one who is at fault for believing lies that they were conned into believing, as if the victim forced the manipulator to be deceitful. All blame, except for the part that is used by the manipulator to accept false guilt, is done in order to make the victim feel guilty about making healthy choices, correct thinking and good behaviors. It is frequently used as a means of psychological and emotional manipulation and control. Manipulators lie about lying, only to re-manipulate the original, less believable story into a "more acceptable" truth that the victim will believe. Projecting lies as being the truth is another common method of control and manipulation.Manipulators may falsely accuse the victim as "deserving to be treated that way." They often claim that the victim is crazy and/or abusive, especially when there is evidence against the manipulator. (See Feigning, below.)Feigning innocence: Manipulator tries to suggest that any harm done was unintentional or that they did not do something that they were accused of. Manipulator may put on a look of surprise or indignation. This tactic makes the victim question their own judgment and possibly their own sanity.Feigning confusion: Manipulator tries to play dumb by pretending they do not know what the victim is talking about or is confused about an important issue brought to their attention. The manipulator intentionally confuses the victim in order for the victim to doubt their own accuracy of perception, often pointing out key elements that the manipulator intentionally included in case there is room for doubt. Sometimes manipulators will have used cohorts in advance to help back up their story.Brandishing anger: Manipulator uses anger to brandish sufficient emotional intensity and rage to shock the victim into submission. The manipulator is not actually angry, they just put on an act. They just want what they want and get "angry" when denied. Controlled anger is often used as a manipulation tactic to avoid confrontation, avoid telling the truth or to further hide intent. There are often threats used by the manipulator of going to the police, or falsely reporting abuses that the manipulator intentionally contrived to scare or intimidate the victim into submission. Blackmail and other threats of exposure are other forms of controlled anger and manipulation, especially when the victim refuses initial requests or suggestions by the manipulator. Anger is also used as a defense so the manipulator can avoid telling truths at inconvenient times or circumstances. Anger is often used as a tool or defense to ward off inquiries or suspicion. The victim becomes more focused on the anger instead of the manipulation tactic.Bandwagon effect: Manipulator comforts the victim into submission by claiming (whether true or false) that many people already have done something, and the victim should as well. These include phrases such as "Many people like you ..." or "Everyone does this anyways." Such manipulation can be seen in peer pressure situations, often occurring in scenarios where the manipulator attempts to influence the victim into trying drugs or other substances.According to Braiker:Harriet B. Braiker (2004) identified the following ways that manipulators control their victims:[3]Positive reinforcement: includes praise, superficial charm, superficial sympathy (crocodile tears), excessive apologizing, money, approval, gifts, attention, facial expressions such as a forced laugh or smile, and public recognition.Negative reinforcement: involves removing one from a negative situation as a reward, e.g. "You won't have to do your homework if you allow me to do this to you."Intermittent or partial reinforcement: Partial or intermittent negative reinforcement can create an effective climate of fear and doubt. Partial or intermittent positive reinforcement can encourage the victim to persist – for example in most forms of gambling, the gambler is likely to win now and again but still lose money overall. Punishment: includes nagging, yelling, the silent treatment, intimidation, threats, swearing, emotional blackmail, the guilt trip, sulking, crying, and playing the victim.Traumatic one-trial learning: using verbal abuse, explosive anger, or other intimidating behavior to establish dominance or superiority; even one incident of such behavior can condition or train victims to avoid upsetting, confronting or contradicting the manipulator.Source: https://ift.tt/37yfW4O. via /r/dating_advice

[tvtiokistwimicmptgxz-blog]

Salvatore Ferragamo

When examining advertising campaigns throughout history different political, economic, and social issues are very obvious. Advertising always seems to mirror not only what is occurring across mass society, but also the themes unique to a diverse group of sub cultures in society during a particular time period. After closely exploring fashion ads throughout history it was clear how the ideas about body image have changed over time. Gradually it has become acceptable to show more and more skin and advertising in general has become much more sexualized. In the book Adorned in Dreams, Elizabeth Wilson explained how people have used fashion as a way to represent themselves and their reactions to society across the decades. She says, “In all societies the body is ‘dressed’, and everywhere dress and adornment play symbolic, communicative and aesthetic roles. Dress is always ‘unspeakably meaningful’.” Wilson goes on to describe how in the twentieth century the integrity of dress has progressed to disassociate itself from the rigid behavioral codes that once sustained it. Fashion has been freed to become both an aesthetic vehicle for experiments in taste and political means of expression for dissidence, rebellion and social reform. In this book Elizabeth has set up an important foundation for further analysis into current fashion advertising. Many of the issues presented in contemporary advertising convey very similar messages about body images; however more distinctions can be made based on the market a particular ad is targeting.

As illustrated through the movie “Happiness Machines”, an important tool in advertising is the ability to create desire. The “desire”/ Consumer society was born after World War I as a response to the fears of the new industrial society that was a product in America from the war. Based on what Bernays had previously learned from his Uncle, Sigmund Freud, about the human mind and subconscious thinking, he realized this would require him to transform the way society thought about products and turn America from a needs based society into a desire culture. He had to create the new types of customers. Bernays began to create many of the techniques of mass consumer persuasion we still use today. He began to glamorize products by placing advertisements linking products with celebrities who used them. He used product placements in movies and dressed the stars for film premiers with the clothes and jewelry from other firms her represented. He told car companies they could sell cars as symbols of male sexuality. He also employed psychologists to claim a product was good for you and pretended they were independent studies. Finally he paid celebrities to repeat the new and essential message; you bought things not just out of need but to express your inner sense of yourself to others. “Wearing certain clothes will make you more attractive”. This caused a change in society called consumerism.

Today desire is still constructed through political, cultural, and economic conditions, but it is also invested with the power to authorize and normalize those conditions (Helstein, That’s Who I Want to be: The Politics and Production of Desire within Nike Advertising to Women). Susan Bordo described how ads play off of the female fear of food and desire to gain control. In Hunger as Ideology Susan Bordo explains the negative effects advertising has on womens’ body image. Throughout history advertising has played off of womens’ fear of food and desire to gain control and while doing so has embedded the idea that men are superior to women and food should be feared by women, as it is a sign of weakness. Marketers try to sell products by showing it as a tool to gain control over some aspect of their lives. Not only do advertisements play off of females’ struggle for control, they also must be considered as gender ideology- that is, as specifically servicing the cultural reproduction of gender differences and gender inequality, quite independent of marketing concerns. Although it is arguable, these desires seems to be an underlying theme in most advertisements. Different markets have unique desires that take precedence in their lives, thus the major distinctions between modern fashion ads lies in the specific market a brand is targeting.

One of the most dominant types of fashion advertising is that of high-end brands. The pages of fashion magazines are filled with ads for brands such as Gucci, Dolce and Gabbana, Fendi, Christian Dior, and Prada just to name a few. Although all the brands have unique ads with their distinct trademark on them, there is an eerie similarity between them all. Slender, blonde, Caucasian females seem to dominate the script for high-end fashion advertising. Although in the 21st century advertising seems to becoming more culturally diverse, even the “ethnic” models have very westernized features. The typical ad depicts this female adorned in the latest fashions by the designer and is preposterously posed in a glamorous setting. Often times sex appeal is created either from the way the model is posed or the ‘lack’ of clothing covering her body. Occasionally males are used in these ads as an accessory to the women. Although society in general has become immune to these imagines since they have become so common, the messages they enforce about body images are not acceptable.

According to The Beauty Myth, as found in the Naomi Wolf readings, a thin, white, blonde woman is considered the ‘perfect woman’ and the most beautiful woman to feature. The typical high-end fashion ad plays to that stereotype. In The Beauty Myth, Wolf argues that it is men that create this idea of what or whom is "beautiful". It is the men in society that deem white, thin, blonde woman as beautiful, not women. Men create these "beauties" so that culture can remain male and male dominated, as argued by Wolf. The idea of male dominance is very clear in the advertising industry. The readings from Fresh Lipstick by Scott support this idea of the male dominated gaze. Scott mentioned that a male point-of-view shot is just another way for men to continue to dominate society.

This first set of ads comes from the Fall/Winter 2007 fashion ad campaigns of some of the top high-end designers in the industry. Many of the models are either well known super models of famous celebrities. Ads like these are extremely common today in the fashion industry. They are neither innovative nor distinct and they only help to reinforce the body image crisis currently plaguing the general public.

The role the fashion industry plays on society is haunting. The westernized ideals and images of beauty are rapidly scattering through humanity. As discussed in Making the Body Beautiful by Gilman, aesthetic surgery is a growing industry. More and more people want to have western features and the age of the patients undergoing these surgeries keeps getting younger. Gilman said, “Patients seeking rhinoplasty…frequently show signs of guilt-tinged, second-generation rejection of their ethnic background masked by excuses, such as not photographing well.” When people are constantly bombarded with images of Caucasian females modeling the latest fashions and depicted as the “ideal beauty” it creates a desire to have those same features. “Happiness in our modern world is in part defined by the desire to vanish into the world beyond ourselves where there is no difference. We want to become happy like everyone else and thus be absolutely unique in our happiness. This contradiction is at the heart of the matter. The heart of the matter in aesthetic surgery is the common human desire to ‘pass’ (Gilman, 330).” By filling the fashion magazines with models that all share similar features it creates the idea that through plastic surgery one can achieve those same features and in doing so fit into society.

Another popular type of high-end fashion advertising is shock value. Certain brands choose to fulfill their consumer’s need for desire by use of shock value. These ads typically depict a fantasy world in which they illustrate deep desires that might not be considered proper to openly discuss. An example of this type of advertising is the Fall/Winter 2007 ad campaign by Dolce and Gabbana. According to Domenico Dolce the image is artistic and was meant to “recall an erotic dream, a sexual game.” Protesters complained that the ad depicted rape and was demeaning to women. Spain’s Labor and Social Affairs Ministry said in a statement, “One could infer from the advertisement that it is acceptable to use force as a way of imposing oneself on a woman, reinforced by the passive and complicit manner of the men looking on.” This ad continues to be filled with Caucasian individuals all scantily clad and exposing extremely cut bodies. Naomi Wolf, in The Beauty Myth, explains how images such as this can have negative consequences on men as well as women. “So powerful is pornography, and so smoothly does it blend in with the advertising of products…that many women find their own fantasies and self-images distorted too…So rare is it to see sexual explicitness in the context of love and intimacy on screen that it seems our culture treats tender sexuality as if it were deviant or deprived, while embracing violent or degrading sex as right and healthy (Wolf, 140).” Men also face the stereotypic ideal of how they are supposed to look and act; men must be in shape, toned, tall, with good hair, teeth and eyes. Today, men make up one-third of all cosmetic surgeries. Images are damaging and may lead to inferiority and inadequacy, and can lead to cosmetic surgery. Men are finally understanding and feeling the affects that advertising and unrealistic expectations of beauty. However, women have been dealing with these issues throughout history. Along with enforcing very negative messages about body images through the use of male positioning and facial expressions the ad creates a very negative message about male superiority. The men is this ad are holding the female down and forcing themselves upon her. She looks on with a very blank expression, implying that she is dazed and not enjoying herself. The men in the background are just looking on and not doing anything to help her or interfere with the act. In Fresh Lipstick Scott mentions the arguments Beauvior makes that women have an inbreed fear of being raped and becoming the sexual prey of men. Women learn to see themselves as an object viewed from the outside, thus she begins to dress in a way to attract a lover. This involves imagining how one might appear to the desired male (226). This ad perpetuates this fear and seems to allocate rape. Although the ad campaigns for high-end fashion brands may seem innocent at first glance, upon further investigation it is obvious that they are enforcing negative messages about body image. If these brands clutter society with so many negative messages surrounding body images, how can they continue to remain so popular? It seems as though the designers of these ads knows that their main audience viewing their actual campaigns are not their actual clients purchasing the products. The majority of the people who wear these clothes have personal shoppers or stylists who buy their clothes for them. Rather, the images in these ads are designed to create a desire among a lower class of society to achieve this rich and luxurious lifestyle; however, the consequences resulting from the message of how to achieve this particular lifestyle is devastating.

In Self-Help, Inc. McGee describes how there is a growing interest in the self-help society. The movement can be traced all the way back to the Bible as the first example of a self-help book. Today there is a book to teach people how to help themselves succeed in just about every aspect of life. Advertising seems to foster self-anxieties and endless imperfections. It is important to acknowledge the growth of this trend in society since it seems to parallel a slow shift toward more conscious advertising. In the early 1990s sales of self help books went up 6% following the trends in society of unemployment and a bad economy. In the past ten years there has been a noticeable amount of ads produced in effort to portray positive messages about the body.

The ad campaign by the French brand Nolita is an attempt to create a more positive message about the body image. The author of the campaign is famous Italian photographer Oliviero Toscani. The campaign is designed toward young women who keep up with fashion and is called to draw public attention to such awful disease as anorexia. The ad billboards feature a 27 years old French woman named Isabella Caro who weighs a mere 68 pounds. She says that she has decided to show her body for people to know and to see how the disease impacts the body. It is common knowledge that there is a major problem with eating disorders in the fashion industry. As previously mentioned the typical model has an abnormally tall slender frame. Maintaining this body image is generally unnatural, but models will go to any length to ensure that they stay at a dangerously low body weight.

Women are continually bombarded with advertisements and commercials for weight-loss products and programs. This type of advertising has been around for a long time and continues to enforce negative views of food for women. The media starts targeting girls from a young age and over time the idea is cemented in girl’s heads that food is bad. Many of the advertisements show the power that food has over women. They illustrate how the female psyche is in a constant state of starvation through their efforts to sell products that can create a “cool” or casual relationship with food for women. The issues surrounding food are a lot deeper and more serious than advertisements are willing to admit. Most often women feel upset and depressed and unhappy when they discuss compulsive eating or over indulgence. Since the Victorian era it has been considered taboo to show women eating, particularly in sensuous surrender to rich, exciting food (Hunger as Ideology, Susan Bordo).

Naomi Wolf made a lot of important points about the gravity of eating disorders. She illustrated how it is a vicious cycle that can often lead to death. When people diet the body often feels as if it is starving and chemicals in the head get messed up. It is really hard to control and basically anyone who diets is at equal risk for becoming anorexic or bulimic. Female fat is a sign of sexuality and reproductive ability. There have never been any studies on females that indicate being over weight can lead to other health concerns or put them at higher risk for death. Every study that has been done on obesity has involved male subjects; yet, females are the ones put under constant pressure from society and the media to be thin. It is acceptable for men to be fat, and men should have hardy appetites. It is age old and universal that if there is ever a shortage of food the women are the first to do without. In reality women really need just about as many calories as men and women suffer more serious problems if they are malnourished. Eating disorders effect a significant population in society. It is really scary because it is such a psychological problem that is seems there is no real way to prevent any one person from getting it unless the entire mind set of basically the world is transformed (The Beauty Myth, 179-116).

This ad from Nolita is defiantly a step in the right direction; however it does not do enough. Rather than say how to help someone with an eating disorder it almost seems to criticize the individual with the problem. People with eating disorders already have very flawed and negative self-images. Although this image is not seen as sexualized at all, it is merely because of the condition the model is in. She is still naked and being shot from a male gaze. It seems like a more effective approach would be to illustrate ways to prevent the problem or find a path to recovery; however, it is nice to see the problem is finally being recognized in the fashion industry.

Although the fashion industry is filled with images that perpetuate negative body images in society there seems to be some hope for improvement in the new century. It is very difficult to find ads that do a really good job of portraying positive body images, but they do exist. Some brands do a really good job of producing campaigns that portray a positive body image. United Colors of Benetton has a really unique campaign. It is interesting to note that the photographer for this campaign is also Oliviero Toscani, who shot the pictures of Isabella Caro for the Nolita campaign. Benetton Group’s advertising campaigns are not only a means of communication but an expression of our time. Through their universal impact, they have succeeded in attracting the attention of the public and in standing out amid the current clutter of images.

The latest campaign by the United Colors of Benetton depicts the faces of four different species of apes. The print reads, “If we don’t do anything to save them, in ten to 15 years the great apes could disappear from the majority of the areas where they now live.” There were about two million chimps in Africa one hundred years ago, now there are little more than 150,000. They are dying out as a result of the expanding human population, deforestation, the destruction of their habitat, hunting and traps. The situation of mountain gorillas and orang-utans is even worse. The number of wild apes is falling while the number of orphans in sanctuaries is rising. This campaign does a great job of bringing awareness to important social issues. Some of the other ads depict the problems with starvation, AIDS and heart disease to name a few. Several of the communication projects created by Fabrica, Benetton’s research center have also been developed in cooperation with prestigious associations (including FAO, UNV, WFP) obtaining important acknowledgements at an international level.

Although these ads do not show the clothes, it creates the desire to help fight these problems. Through the campaign people realize that United Colors of Benetton does a lot of work with different organizations and that through buying this brand they are helping to support a very good cause. In that sense it is effective in creating a desire and does not perpetuate the negative body images that the fashion industry has been continually associated with.

Another genre of fashion advertising that seems to do a good job of portraying positive body images is in campaigns for athletic apparel. Currently both Adidas and Nike are attempting to produce campaigns that generate positive body images and messages. Nike’s campaign is a good effort to demonstrate more positive messages about body image, but it has been causing a lot of controversy. Nike’s new ad campaign, “Big Butts, Thunder Thighs, and Tomboy Knees” has been criticized because they highlight the butt, thighs, and knees of women athletes who could hardly by any means be considered out of shape. The campaign seems to have back fired and while those butts, thighs and knees should be praised, the manner that the ad presents the body parts almost condemns them. As explained in The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf, in modern society women are expected to have split personalities and lifestyles. Women feel pulled in different directions, such as housewife, working women, athletic social, etc. It seemed that this would have been a great opportunity for Nike to reach the diverse desires of all women, but this campaign does not seem to be there quite yet.

While the campaign seems to have stayed away from the typical genre of fashion advertising, it is not very effective in creating a more positive body image. The images are black and white and shot in a way to eliminate the male gaze or cultural inequalities. However, the depiction of these well-oiled, muscle crunching body parts has sparked some questions. If the message is supposed to be about authenticity, hard work, and in-your-face reality, how about showing a little more sweat and a little less creatine? Furthermore, this ad seems to be appealing to current Nike customers while the whole point of advertising is to try and attract new consumers. Finally, the ad is a copy of the dove campaign which totally strips it of any creative or unique credit the campaign could have been given.

The Adidas campaign launches a new global basketball movement featuring NBA All-Stars Tracy McGrady, Kevin Garnett, Tim Duncan, Chauncey Billups and Gilbert Arenas. The movement of the “It Takes 5IVE” campaign is based on the idea of believing in something bigger than the individual-believing in five, believing in team. Adidas wanted to tap into the idea that there is more to the game then just individual achievement and focus on the value of being part of a team. That is the true spirit of the game of basketball. By bringing together five of the game’s most successful athletes and having them deliver the message that real success can only come from being part of a team, and that any individual achievements cannot measure to the success that five players on the court can achieve together shows that teamwork is the most essential aspect to a team sport.

This campaign seems to do a much better job of creating a positive message; however the message creates a desire for team work to help you succeed. While this is a good message, it is not a positive message about body image. Since this campaign stays away from assisting the fashion industry in creating negative body images and more importantly negative overall messages, it is a pretty good campaign.

Finally there are a few campaigns from popular designers that do a rather good job of staying away from continuing the negative body images being produced by the fashion industry. Both Tommy Hilfigure and Old Navy have ads that completely stay away from the body and in that sense they are not effective at creating a positive body image either, rather they are neutral. In the Tommy Hilfigure ad a herd of sheep are standing in front of an American Flag and the tag line reads “follow the flock.” This ad is cute and creates the desire to fit in and then eludes to the idea that through buying Tommy Hilfigure clothing you will be like everyone else; however, as previously stated, people in society today desire control over their destination and the idea of being like everyone else seems to distract from the notion of controlling one’s destiny. The Old Navy ad also uses animals by creating ads depicting images of their icon dog. These ads are effective at getting the name of the brand to the public, but it creates no desire and is therefore not as effective as the Tommy Hilfigure ad.

Overall, fashion advertising is dominated by ads that encourage negative body image through highly sexualized poses, a majority of male gazes, and unrealistic body types. There is not enough cultural diversity in today’s fashion advertising. The ads are effective at creating desire; however, the desire is to achieve unrealistic and unhealthy goals. In the past few years some very significant changes have been made, but it isn’t enough right now. It is a gradual process so it will probably take some time before any major noticeable differences appear on the pages of the top fashion magazines. Hopefully the steps that are taking place now will have a lasting positive impact on the body images created through future fashion advertising.

Posted by megan.leith on 2007-12-10 22:25:45

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by ALEX TURNBULL

Amidst day-to-day struggles, we forget great support stems not from mysterious alchemy of magnetism and magic.

Instead, it arises from a certain set of core competencies.

Behind the scenes of every experience are attainable skills that separate average or frustrating from truly exceptional customer service.

But what skills matter? And how do you take your team, business, or career to the next level? To answer those questions, let’s unearth…

15 essential customer service skills along with step-by-step instructions on how to improve each one:

TABLE OF CONTENTS

1. Empathy 2. Positivity 3. Patience 4. Clarity 5. Simplicity 6. Curiosity 7. Attentiveness 8. Prioritization 9. Composure 10. Thick skin 11. Humility 12. Adaptability 13. Ownership 14. Confidence 15. Teachability

Fair warning: This article is long.

(Which is fitting for a topic so central to successful support.)

To make it easier to apply, we’ve put together one-pagers on every skill that includes short definitions and five steps to bring them to life.

1. Empathy

The capacity to experience other people’s thoughts and feelings from their point of view, rather than our own. To identify with or be sensitivity toward.

Empathy is the foundation of support. That’s because it’s the foundation of all relationships.

Thankfully, empathy isn’t something you’re born either with or without. It can be learned from a young age or improved as you get older.

Although we may not have experienced what a person is going through, empathy allows us to understand their emotional reaction to a particular situation.

As customer service agents, we’re often so focused on what we’re going to say next we miss the opportunity to listen and be present. This is a common scenario, particularly someone’s having a negative customer experience.

Above all, people want to feel understood, respected, and supported.

Steps to develop empathy

Spend time with people who are different. Exposing ourselves to opposing viewpoints supercharges empathy. As long as our aim is to understand and not disagree. Try sending an email to a friend with opposing politics. Or, connect with someone on a separate team at work.

Wondering how to kick off those conversations?

Get a set of Questions and Empathy cards. Created in conjunction with Sub Rosa’s popular Applied Empathy series, each card contains a thought-provoking question to spark meaningful conversations. These are fantastic for team building; even better for jumping into step one.

Join an acting or improv class. No job in the world calls on you to step into someone else’s shoes more than acting. Taking a beginner’s class at a community center or community college is a great way to learn how to do that.

Test your emotional intelligence (EQ). The Greater Good Science Center at U.C. Berkeley has developed a short online quiz to measure how well you read other people’s emotions through facial expressions. (It’s harder than you probably think.)

Recommended resource: Daniel Pink’s A Whole New Mind. “Empathy is about standing in someone else’s shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes. Not only is empathy hard to outsource and automate, but it makes the world a better place.”

2. Positivity

A deliberately optimistic state of mind; looking for what’s right, rather than what’s wrong—and aligning our words with that goal.

It’s a universal truth that we can’t change how we feel. Not directly anyway. Telling someone, “Just be happy,” is about as effective as telling them, “Just grow six inches.”

Neither can be accomplished by an act of the will.

So, how do you become more positive? By making a conscious choice to replace negative words with positive words: both verbally and mentally.

Positivity doesn’t so much refer to your outlook on life, but instead to the language you use.

To understand the power of positive language, think about the negative language nobody likes hearing and what kind of reactions these might provoke:

“It’s against policy to provide that for you.”

“That’s not our fault. It’s yours.”

“You can’t do that.”

“Calm down.”

“No.”

Steps to practice positivity

Make a list of negative phrases in customer support. Start with the shortlist above. Grab the five customer service phrases you should avoid at all costs here. Or, even better, write out your own versions of love-to-hate responses and replies.

Brainstorm positive ways to reframe them. From: “I don’t know.” To: “I’ll talk to the right team member and get back to you ASAP.” From: “Please calm down.” To: “I’m sorry. I understand. I’d be frustrated, too. Here’s what should help.”

Rewrite your frequently sent replies. Run through the email templates, direct messages, and FAQs from your knowledge base. Identify negative language paying special attention to your list as well as the dreaded word “but.” Then, rewrite them.

Listen to your own thoughts. More formative than what we say to others is what we say to ourselves. Everyone has a unique set of negative self-talk scripts on repeat. Especially when we get stressed. Unearth your own. Then, catch and replace.

Recommended resource: Martin E.P. Seligman, Learned Optimism. “What is crucial is what you think when you fail, using the power of ‘non-negative thinking.’ Changing the destructive things you say to yourself when you experience the setbacks that life deals all of us is the central skill of optimism.”

3. Patience

To accept or tolerate delays, complaints, or suffering without developing counter-productive responses such as anger or irritation.

Customer service is not an easy job. Sometimes, customers will be angry with you. Sometimes, they’ll will need extra attention to understand what seems obvious. And sometimes, they’ll lash out.

No matter the issue, the worst thing you can do in any of these situations is to lose your cool.

Patience not only helps you deliver better service, but a study from the University of Toronto found that being impatient impedes our ability to enjoy life and makes us worse at doing hard things.

A number of additional studies have also shown that people who are patient tend to be more healthy, happy, and successful.

How to improve patience

Understand the addictive nature of anger, irritation, and outrage. The more you feel these emotions, the more likely you are to keep feeling them. Impatiences breeds impatience. On top of that, it also reinforces the very emotional states that prevent us from being helpful.

Upgrade your attitude towards discomfort and pain. When you feel your patience wearing thin, remind yourself, “This is merely uncomfortable, not intolerable.” This too shall pass. Moreover, suffering is life’s greatest opportunity to learn. Embrace it.

Pay attention to when the irritation starts. Find the external triggers that press your buttons. Make a list of your usual (impatience) supects. Internally, watch out for body languages like clenched teeth or balled fists. That way, you can correct course before it’s too late.

Control your self-talk. Much like positivity, the things we say to ourselves have an uncanny ability to come true, whether they’re positive or negative.

Recommended resource: Jane Bolton, Psychology Today. “Most people who are patience ‘professionals’ recommend that we train ourselves to work with little pains and irritations so that when the big ones come, we will have developed the patience we need for adversity.”

4. Clarity

Easy to understand. The elimination of ambiguity when communicating. Hinging on clarity is persuasiveness—people need to understand before they can be convinced. 

Clarity isn’t just important for making your customer feel confident and empowered—it can also make a big impact on your bottom line.

What if you could send one less email per support interaction because you didn’t have to clarify anything that your customer didn’t understand the first time?

If you field 300 requests a week (on the low side of an average Groove customer), that’s 15,600 fewer emails sent in a year.

Think that estimate is too high? Even if you could send 0.25 fewer emails, on average—a very reasonable expectation—you’d still send 3,900 fewer emails per year.

That’s not insignificant, and it’s a great argument for mastering crystal-clear communication skills.

The secret ingredient is structure…

How to achieve clarity

Define technical terms. Don’t be afraid of using technical terms when they’re necessary. Do include plain-language definitions. In fact, consider making a cheat sheet of 10-15 difficult words central to your product or service.

Never assume “they read it.” This isn’t about someone reading your email or chat response. Rather, it’s about thinking that—just because you covered it in your onboarding process or on your knowledge base—they already understand.

Put the most important information first. If there’s something a user absolutely needs to know before they get into the process of taking action, make it the first thing they see. (This goes right back to either adding links to terms in number one or explaining them.)

Write in chronological order. Ensure the order of steps in the support process makes sense. A great exercise is to write down the instructions for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Then, have a co-worker follow them. It’s amazing how much we leave out.

Recommended resource: Ann Handley, Everybody Writes. “Our brains crave order—structure, patterns, parallelism. Your job as a writer is to create that order. The clearer the writer is, the more secure a reader feels.”

5. Simplicity

The quality of being uncomplicated. The plainness of speech. The unadorned and single-minded purpose that makes comprehension effortless. 

If clarity is about order and structure, simplicity lives or dies by one rule: less is more. Less jargon. Smaller words. Shorter sentences. Fewer ideas.

Keeping things simple without—distorting what needs to be done—empowers the customer. It removes the barriers of doubt and confusion, placing them securely in the driver’s seat.

Complexity, on the other hand, quickly leads to confusion, impatience, and other negative emotions that become counterproductive to resolving the original query.

“If you can’t explain it to a child, you don’t understand it yourself.”

Albert Einstein

Taking inspiration from that line, Reddit’s Explain Like I’m Five distills complex topics into plain language. Here’s one of my favorites:

“Email is like a written letter that arrives in seconds instead of days. Google is a company that runs many websites, the biggest of which is a search engine. A search engine is a phone book for other websites.”

How to hone simplicity

Beware “the curse of knowledge.” The more we know about a subject, the harder it becomes to teach it. Psychologists call this the curse of knowledge: a cognitive bias that assumes other people have the necessary background to understand what we do.

Record your a-ha moments. To combat the curse of knowledge, take note of your own breakthrough moments. Writing down your experiences from not knowing to knowing captures as they occur so you can lead others down the same path.

Ask, “What can I remove?” Before hitting send on a support message, the final step should always be to mercilessly critique it looking for anything to exclude. Likewise, look for opportunities to simplify from paragraphs to sentences to phrases to words.

Have one goal. You may need to explain multiple ideas and include multiple steps to address someone’s need. But every time you communicate—whether via email, chat, or phone—limit yourself to one goal: one outcome at a time.

Recommended resource: William Zinsser, On Writing Well. “The writer must constantly ask himself: What am I trying to say? Surprisingly often, he doesn’t know. Then he must look at what he has written and ask: Have I said it? Is it clear to someone encountering the subject for the first time?”

6. Curiosity

Having a strong desire to venture into the unknown with the intention of learning or discovering something new. To be inquisitive and to question.

When we’re young, we are innately curious. Our minds are full of questions. But as we get older, it’s more common to accept the way things are and lose our sense of wonder.

Curiosity is a skill we must learn to embrace in customer service. Why?

Because curious people ask better questions, unlock deeper insights, and solve more complex problems.

Questioning, investigating, and learning: curiosity leads us to the answers we need to build better customer relationships and find out the deeper causes of problems. Research from Harvard Business Review found that curiosity is vital to an organization’s performance.

What’s more, curiosity makes us less defensive and less aggressive in stressful situations.

How to feed your curiosity

Ask more questions. Regardless of how much information someone shares, it’s critical dig deeper to draw out better insights. Also, keep asking “why.” Be curious about why things are done a particular way or why your customer is feeling how they are.

Inquire, but don’t interrogate. There’s a fine line between seeking to understand and grilling a customer. Normally, this comes down to our own internal state of mind. Questions cannot be a veiled attempt to prove someone wrong.

Focus more on the problem. We’re often so focused on solving problems that we don’t take the time to unearth how the problem occurred in the first place. When you venture into unfamiliar territory, look for the root cause.

Go off-script if you need to. Speaking of unfamiliar territory, no one likes the unknown; but that’s where you’ll discover the true benefits of curiosity—untapped insights. Approach the unknown like a reporter, explorer, or scientist: your only goal is discovery.

Recommended resource: Amy Singh, TEDx Talk. “So, my challenge for you is to pursue your curiosity. And when those difficult barriers come up, dig deep inside yourself and see if you can find that little child’s voice—the one that grows silent as we age, and let it inspire you.”

7. Attentiveness

Listening actively and paying close attention to what is being said or done. To be alert, watchful, and receptive.

The body language of attentiveness means holding eye contact in person or eliminating distractions digitally. It involves honing our listening skills, devoting ourselves to the issue at hand, and responding with the right questions or answers.

If you’re in a bustling call center or an open-plan office with music and other conversations going on around you, attentiveness can be a challenge.

Inattention, however, leads to disgruntled customers, which can intensify already touchy situations and take longer to resolve.

Being attentive allows you to take care of customers’ actual needs, rather than what they think they need—often two very different things. It’s up to you to help them realize that.

“In our louder and louder world,” explains sound expert, Julian Treasure, “we are losing our listening.”

How to be more attentive

Immerse yourself in silence. Take three-to-ten minutes each day to reset your ears and recalibrate your mind. This habit works well at the start of the day and can be a godsend amidst busy seasons. If you can’t get absolute silence, then find a quiet space to …

Enjoy the mundane. Savor the everyday sounds around you: a coffee machine, dryer, or the keyboard when you type. You’ll find that even the most everyday sounds can be interesting. (Julian calls it “the hidden choir.”)

Do one thing. Multitasking is a myth. When we multitask, what we’re really doing is “task switching,” which eats up brainpower. Disciple yourself to focus on the customer, the whole customer, and nothing but the customer.

Adjust your “listening positions.” This is about mental posture. For example, try listening to a podcast from a critical perspective, validating each statement. Then listen again from an empathetic perspective where you focus just on emotions.

Recommended resource: Julian Treasure, TED Talk “RASA stands for ‘Receive,’ which means pay attention to the person; ‘Appreciate,’ making little noises like ‘hmm,’ ‘oh,’ OK’; ‘Summarize’—the word ‘so’ is very important in communication; and ‘Ask,’ ask questions afterward.”

8. Prioritization

The action or process of ordering competing demands; managing both time and expectations more effectively. Putting first things first.

When a customer reaches out, they expect a timely response. When multiple customers are demanding your attention all at the same time, those individual expectations don’t change in the slightest.

Responding to all inquiries at once is physically impossible—unless they’ve all asked common questions. In those instances, automation, email templates, and a searchable knowledgebase can be godsends.

If only it were always that simple… 

Without effectively managing your time and prioritizing tasks, you can easily become flustered, resentful, and frustrated.

It also can compromise a sale if you leave new customers waiting too long for a response.

How to better prioritize

Create a triage system. Does your business have a system in place that helps you decide which inquiries need urgent attention? Are you all on the same page as to what should fall in order of importance? If not, create a plan now before the storm hits.

Consider the impact or consequences of the situation. Are there direct and time-sensitive consequences if the issue isn’t resolved? Are those consequences monetary? Or, is the customer simply more demanding than someone with real stakes on the line?

Know when it’s time to move on. If you’re spending too much time with a customer, this can also be detrimental. Learn how to wrap up the conversation and summarize the next steps. (Check out the skill on Closure for more.)

Don’t work harder than you need to. There will also be times where you simply do not know how to help. It’s okay to recognize your limitations. Instead of running down rabbit holes—or chasing your own tail—connect the customer with the right person.

Recommended resource: Charles Hummel, Tyranny of the Urgent. “There is a regular tension between things that are urgent and things that are important—and far too often, the urgent wins.”

9. Composure

Remaining calm when faced with adversity and staying in control of your emotions when the unexpected happens. 

Some customers can make it tough to hold your composure, but the moment you lose your cool is the same moment you lose your ability to be helpful.

(Easier said than done.)

Why? Because we’re human. We feel deeply.

On top of the daily stress of serving customers, you could be facing something personal. Maybe you just had a bad start to the day. And, of course, the same might be true to the customer who’s frustrated on the other end of the conversation.

But as soon as your actions are hijacked by emotions in a tense customer scenario, productivity ceases. You end up with a moral dilemma because you snapped in the heat of the moment.

How to maintain composure

Breathe. While the other person is speaking—or before responding in writing—take time to breathe. Slowly and deliberately. Measured breaths calm the body, lower blood pressure, and force oxygen back into the brain.

Watch out for HALT. HALT stands for hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Given that it’s impossible to separate external stress from the customer in front of us, stay vigilant over these physical and emotional states.

Don’t fall for the fundamental attribution error (FAE). The FAE is our natural tendency to explain someone’s actions based on their personality and underestimate the influence of situational factors. From: “They’re a jerk.” To: “What might be going on in their life, I can’t see?”

Delay the conversation or your response. Lost composure happens. That’s fine, as long as you’re willing to step away. Is there someone that can jump in for you? Can you reschedule the conversation? Never feel like calling a timeout is a sign of weakness. It’s a strength.

Recommended resource: Robert I. Sutton, The Asshole Survival Guide. “A supervisor instructed me, ‘If you talk softer and softer and softer, they’re going to have to stop to listen or they’re not going to hear anything you’re saying. The louder you get, the louder they get. And if you start to tone it down, they start to tone it down.’”

10. Thick skin

Receiving tough feedback or criticism and not allowing yourself to get upset or offended by it. Being tough, stalwart, or resilient.

Having thick skin doesn’t come naturally to everyone. But if you’ve been in the customer support trenches, you already know how valuable it is.

There will always be someone who disagrees, calls you a bad name, yells at you, or embarrasses you.

No one enjoys these experiences—but we can all learn to deal with them.

We tend to take things personally, even when it has absolutely nothing to do with us. If you’re dealing with a disgruntled customer, they may lash out. Remind yourself that it’s not you they have an issue with, it’s the situation.

How to develop thick skin

Don’t take things personally. Again, easier said than done. Let your ego rest and reframe the person’s bad behavior around the fact that it’s not about you. (Oh, and because we know this is so tricky, humility is going to be our next skill.)

Know your personal emotional cues. Be self-aware when you’re letting others get to you and learn how to regulate your reactive emotions using breathing techniques, taking a break, and healthy self-care habits outside of work.

Don’t run away from confrontation. At the same time, challenge yourself to be direct and discuss the issue further using a calm tone of voice and staying as objective (logical) as possible. Naturally, this is a balancing act with calling a timeout.

Think about others. Instead of getting caught up in your own ball of emotions and taking pity on yourself, recognize how the other person is feeling and focus on that. With this, we’re right back to empathy as the foundation.

Recommended resource: Marcus Aurelius, Meditations. “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”

11. Humility

The ability to put your ego, wants, or needs aside to serve others. Willingness to admit when you’re wrong or don’t have the answer.  

All of us crave approval. To greater or lesser degrees, we find our self-worth in the eyes of other people. Pride is the natural human impulse to protect our reputation: to look good.

Ironically, pride manifests itself in two opposite responses: (1) defending ourselves and (2) doubting ourselves. The first is about self-centeredness. The second, self-pity. But the root of each is the same.

  “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”

C.S. Lewis

  In customer service, pride rears its head through a relentless pursuit of solving problems all on our lonesome. The truth is you don’t have to have all the answers. Humility allows us to be comfortable with what we don’t know and to be proactive about it.

For many of us, humility is one of the hardest traits to develop, because it has to start from a recognition that you are not always right and requires acceptance of yourself which many of us find challenging.

How to develop humility

Use the first-personal plural when describing solutions. Not to make this a ninth-grade English lesson but pronouns matter. When telling a customer how to solve a problem, use “we” as much as possible. This puts you, your team, and the customer in the same boat.

Use the first-personal singular when describing mistakes. When something goes wrong, the opposite ought to be employed. As you take responsibility, use “I.” “We” or “it”—if referring to a product or service—sometimes works. But, the buck stops with you (see, Ownership).

Embrace “I could be wrong.” This applies both to the solutions you provide as well as your assessment of the problem. Treat every assertion as a hypothesis and actively seek to disprove your assumptions (just like a scientist).

Separate facts from stories. One way to follow the last step is to force yourself to distinguish between facts and stories. Facts are objective realities you can prove in a courtroom or laboratory. Everything else is a story: our fallible interpretation of the facts.

Recommended resource: Dan Cable, How Humble Leadership Really Works. “To put it bluntly, servant-leaders have the humility, courage, and insight to admit that they can benefit from the expertise of others who have less power than them. They actively seek the ideas and unique contributions of the [people] that they serve.”

12. Adaptability

Open to change and quickly modifying thoughts and actions to respond positively. To be flexible rather than rigid, set in our ways, or immovable.

We all aspire to be adaptable and care-free. However, let’s face it, our actions and responses to change can sometimes be the complete opposite.

Adapting to customers allows you the power to control the situation without taking the power away from the customer. This makes the customer still feel served and appreciated.

Unfortunately, there are plenty of negative traits that undermine your ability to be adaptable in customer service:

Rigidity: “You can only do it this way: my way.” 

Bluntness: “How are you not understanding this?”

Discontent: “No, I don’t agree with what you’re saying at all.”

Unapproachable: “Why are you calling me with this silly question?”

Resistance: “This is the way we’ve always done it. That’s just the way it is.”

Competition: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. (Subtext: I am the expert.)”

How to cultivate adaptability

Recognize your biological predisposition. Old habits die hard. That’s not just cliché; it’s science. Change is hard is because our brains literally shape themselves based on how we typically think and act. But, rigidity is only half the story.

Also, recognize “neuroplasticity” Thankfully, brains can change. This is due to neuroplasticity: the pathways in our minds are strengthened by repetition. When we think or act in a new way over and over, we physiologically rebuild our neural network.

Cultivate adaptability like a habit. Make it your intention to think differently and act differently. For example, instead of getting caught up in a heated exchange, put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it softly as a trigger to interrupt your old way of responding.

Practice it every day. Becoming more adaptable will require effort, time, and repetition. Take note of the small wins at the end of each day and reflect on the situations where you could have been more adaptable to learn from for next time.

Recommended resource: Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit. “This is how willpower becomes a habit: by choosing a certain behavior ahead of time, and then following that routine when an inflection point arrives.”

13. Ownership

The act of possessing a situation, problem, or challenge and seeing it through to resolution; taking control and taking responsibility.

At first, ownership may appear to be at odds with adaptability—in particular, the idea of taking control. It’s not.

Think of it like this: When a customer reaches out for help, they’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, and insecure. Failing to meet those conditions with a firm and steady hand leaves them trying to solve the problem alone. Worse, they don’t have all the resources you do.

You need to own the interaction if you are actually going to help them.

Of course, taking ownership doesn’t mean you have to personally solve the problem. Rather, you find a way to make sure it gets resolved.

Ownership language such as, “Let me see how I can help and—if not—I’ll find the right person,” prevents customers from feeling dismissed and isolated.

How to take ownership

Steer the conversation. Take the reins and let the customer know they are in good hands. Trust is a huge factor in earning high-service ratings. And trust arises from prompt responses that display confidence without arrogance.

Keep it actionable. Break down issues so that there’s agreement on both sides regarding the problem. Offer tangible steps that they can perform. If the customer can’t fix it on their own, share with them your team’s plan of action.

Follow-up proactively. Leave no stone unturned. You own this, the customer is just following your lead now. On top of tangible steps and actions, agree upon deadlines for each one. Then, if they miss a deadline, be the first to check in.

Explain, but don’t excuse. The difference between an explanation and an excuse is a tightrope. The separation lies in our motivation. Excuses defend our actions. Explanations clarify them. Make accepting responsibility your default position.

Recommended resource: Jocko Willink, Extreme Ownership. “Implementing Extreme Ownership requires checking your ego and operating with a high degree of humility. Admitting mistakes, taking ownership, and developing a plan to overcome challenges are integral to any successful team.”

14. Confidence

Expertly communicating to provide the mutual feeling that questions have been answered and issues have been acknowledged, addressed, and resolved. 

Flowing right out of ownership is confidence.

Confidence provides security and closure. Customers feel certainty as they progress as well as clear-headed resolution at the end of the support exchange.

The opposite is also true. Customers can smell blood. Without confidence, they’ll become restless, anxious, and irrational. They will continue to email, call, or ask to speak to a manager until you can provide them closure.

Steps to bolstering confidence

Manage expectations from the start. If you’re unable to respond immediately to new requests, help customers understand this. Simple auto-replies to let people know your team responds within 24 hours is far better than a day of silence. Their patience relies on your transparency.

Addressing every question. Rather than sidestep complex or thorny inquiries, dive in headfirst and systematically address every single concern raised by a customer. Even if your answer is, “I need to look into that further,” don’t ignore any part of their email, phone, or chat.

Follow through with your promises. Don’t say you will call back at 9am with more information and decide to not call because the situation hasn’t changed. You are better off calling the customer as you promised and still give them that update.

Let your body lead you. Confidence can be hacked through body language—even when customers can’t see us. “Power posing,” as Amy Cuddy calls it, means making our bodies bigger. Not gaining weight, but assuming postures that extend our arms, shoulders, and legs.

Recommended resource: Amy Cuddy, Your body language may shape who you are. “Two minutes [of power posing] lead to hormonal changes that configure your brain to basically be either assertive, confident and comfortable, or really stress-reactive, and feeling sort of shut down.”

15. Teachability

The willingness and capability to learn from others. 

Once you accept that you don’t know everything, then you can embrace teachability.

What defines a teachable moment?

It’s when you have the opportunity to learn something new, whether it’s from someone else (a customer) or by teaching yourself.

Teachability is about taking the initiative to read the company updates that get sent through to your email, understanding changes that have been made to a particular product or service, and making the most of any training that is provided to you.

  “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty.”

Henry Ford

Having in-depth knowledge about the product or service can really set you apart in a customer service team. It makes you truly invaluable because you are more equipped to handle the complex and unknown issues.

How to cultivate teachability

Surround yourself with mentors. In a perfect world, this would be leadership within your company; most notably, your manager. The next best are people you look up in other, non-competitor organizations. Regardless, set clear goals for what you hope to accomplish at the outset.

Cozy up to technicians. Within every business, there are builders, developers, and practitioners: the people who create and deploy whatever it is you sell. Set up a regular schedule for one-on-one time. And find ways to (for lack of a better term) suck up to them.

Examine your failures with detached curiosity. Teachable people relish failure. They embrace the idea that every situation has only two outcomes: success or the opportunity to learn. Examining missteps like this takes the punch out of losing and reinforces other skills like humility and thick skin.

Celebrate and record your wins. As your expertise grows, take note of standout moments. Maintain a physical journal or running Google Doc where you can record exactly what helped you discover something new. Such experiences are invaluable when teaching customers.

Recommended resource: Carol Dweck, Mindset. “Mindset change is not about picking up a few pointers here and there. It’s about seeing things in a new way. When people change to a growth mindset, they change from a judge-and-be-judged framework to a learn-and-help-learn framework.”

Good customer service skills don’t have to be a mystery

Use the tips above to develop you and your team’s core customer service skills. Look for the same capabilities in the customer support reps or customer experience specialists you hire.

Have any of these skills made a marked impact on your career? Which ones do you develop consciously? And did I miss any?

Let me know in the comments!

    Go to our website:   www.ncmalliance.com

15 Customer Service Skills & How to Improve Each One (Step-by-Step) by ALEX TURNBULL Amidst day-to-day struggles, we forget great support stems not from mysterious alchemy of magnetism and magic.

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Personal privacy is a fairly new concept. Most people used to live in tight-knit communities, constantly enmeshed in each other’s lives. The notion that privacy is an important part of personal security is even newer, and often contested, while the need for public security — walls which must be guarded, doors which must be kept locked — is undisputed. Even anti-state anarchists concede the existence of violent enemies and monsters.

Rich people can afford their own high walls and closed doors. Privacy has long been a luxury, and it’s still often treated that way; a disposable asset, nice-to-have, not essential. Reinforcing that attitude is the fact that it’s surprisingly easy, even instinctive, for human beings to live in a small community — anything below Dunbar’s Number — with very little privacy. Even I, a card-carrying semi-misanthropic introvert, have done that for months at a stretch and found it unexpectedly, disconcertingly natural.

And so when technological security is treated as a trade-off between public security and privacy, as it almost always is these days, the primacy of the former is accepted. Consider the constant demands for “golden key” back doors so that governments can access encrypted phones which are “going dark.” Its opponents focus on the fact that such a system will inevitably be vulnerable to bad actors — hackers, stalkers, “evil maids.” Few dare suggest that, even if a perfect magical golden key with no vulnerabilities existed, one which could only be used by government officials within their official remit, the question of whether it should be implemented would still be morally complex.

Consider license plate readers that soon enough will probably track the locations of most cars in California in near-real-time with remarkable precision. Consider how the Golden State Killer was identified, by trawling through public genetic data to look for family matches; as FiveThirtyEight puts it, “you can’t opt out of sharing your data, even if you didn’t opt in” any more. Which would be basically fine, as long as we can guarantee hackers don’t get their hands on that data, right? Public security — catching criminals, preventing terror attacks — is far more important than personal privacy. Right?

Consider too corporate security, which, like public security, is inevitably assumed to be far more important than personal privacy. Until recently, Signal, the world’s premier private messaging app, used a technical trick known as “domain fronting,” on Google and Amazon web services, to provide access in countries which had tried to ban it — until this month, when Google disabled domain fronting and Amazon threatened termination of their AWS account, because the privacy of vulnerable populations is not important to them. Consider Facebook’s countless subtle assaults on personal privacy, in the name of connecting people, which happens to be how Facebook becomes ever stronger and more inescapable, while maintaining much stronger controls for its own employees and data.

But even strict corporate secrecy just reinforces the notion that privacy is a luxury for the rich and powerful, an inessential. It wouldn’t make that much difference if Amazon or Facebook or Google or even Apple were to open up their books and their roadmaps. Similarly, it won’t make that much difference if ordinary people have to give up their privacy in the name of public security, right? Living in communities where everyone knows one another’s business is natural, and arguably healthier than the disjoint dysfunction of, say, an apartment building whose dozens of inhabitants don’t even know each other’s names. Public security is essential; privacy is nice-to-have.

…Except.

…Except this dichotomy between “personal privacy” and “public security,” all too often promulgated by people who should know better, is completely false, a classic motte-and-bailey argument in bad faith. When we talk about “personal privacy” in the context of phone data, or license plate readers, or genetic data, or encrypted messaging, we’re not talking about anything even remotely like our instinctive human understanding of “privacy,” that of a luxury for the rich, inessential for people in healthy close-knit communities. Instead we’re talking about the collection and use of personal data at scale; governments and corporations accumulating massive amounts of highly personal information from billions of people.

This accumulation of data is, in and of itself, not a “personal privacy” issue, but a massive public security problem.

At least three problems, in fact. One is that the lack of privacy has a chilling effect on dissidence and original thought. Private spaces are the experimental petri dishes for societies. If you know your every move can be watched, and your every communication can be monitored, so private spaces effectively don’t exist, you’re much less likely to experiment with anything edgy or controversial; and in this era of cameras everywhere, facial recognition, gait recognition, license plate readers, Stingrays, etc., your every move can be watched.

If you don’t like the ethos of your tiny community, you can move to another one whose ethos you do like, but it’s a whole lot harder to change nation-states. Remember when marijuana and homosexuality were illegal in the West? (As they still are, in many places.) Would that have changed if ubiquitous surveillance and at-scale enforcement of those laws had been possible, back then? Are we so certain that all of our laws are perfect and just today, and that we will respond to new technologies by immediately regulating them with farsighted wisdom? I’m not. I’m anything but.

A second problem is that privacy eradication for the masses, coupled with privacy for the rich, will, as always, help to perpetuate status-quo laws / standards / establishments, and encourage parasitism, corruption, and crony capitalism. Cardinal Richelieu famously said, “If one would give me six lines written by the hand of the most honest man, I would find something in them to have him hanged.” Imagine how much easier it gets if the establishment has access to everything any dissident has ever said and done, while maintaining their own privacy. How long before “anti-terrorism” privacy eradication becomes “selective enforcement of unjust laws” becomes “de facto ‘oppo research’ unleashed on anyone who challenges the status quo”?

A third problem is that technology keeps getting better and better at manipulating the public based on their private data. Do you think ads are bad now? Once AIs start optimizing the advertising → behavior → data feedback loop, you may well like the ads you see, probably on a primal, mammalian, limbic level. Proponents argue that this is obviously better than disliking them. But the propaganda → behavior → data loop is no different from advertising → behavior → data, and no less subject to “optimization.”

When accumulated private data can be used to manipulate public opinion on a massive scale, privacy is no longer a personal luxury. When the rich establishment can use asymmetric privacy to discredit dissidents while remaining opaque themselves, privacy is no longer a personal luxury. When constant surveillance, or the threat thereof, systematically chills and dissuades people from experimenting with new ideas and expressing contentious thoughts, privacy is no longer a personal luxury. And that, I fear, is the world we may live in soon enough, if we don’t already.

[josephkitchen0]

Adding New Dogs Into an Existing Livestock Guardian Dog Pack

By Brenda M. Negri

In my previous article (“The Aging LGD: Caring for Senior Livestock Guardian Dogs,” sheep!, September/October, 2017, p. 36), we saw how important it is to bring in younger dogs to replace elder Livestock Guardian Dogs (LGD) before “old timers” get past their prime.

Many operators incorrectly start their LGD experience by purchasing, training, and using just one dog at a time. They usually find out sooner than later, they should have bought two dogs or more to start. To be used successfully as guardians of livestock, LGDs should be run in pairs or more.

A ravenous wolf pack or bear will make a short order meal of just one LGD. Bottom line: There’s strength in numbers.

Eventually the shepherd realizes he must add more dogs but often is afraid to, or confused on how best to do it.

I’ve run as many as 25 adult LGDs at one time. That’s an exceptional number of dogs to be running together safely and cohesively as a family pack. It has offered me a wonderful opportunity to learn about canine pack life, canine body language and understand dogs more deeply.

In my dog pack, lactating females will often assist in babysitting litters and allow pups from another litter to suckle them. Puppies mingle with adults and other litters. There’s very little conflict and no separation of dogs in a well-adjusted pack.

This depth of intermingling is similar to what’s seen in wolf packs. It only comes about when a domestic dog pack is a content and confident family unit. That comes about when owners, in the role of pack “parent” and leader, trust their dogs.

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The Pack as a Unit

A pack provides support, security and psychological and physical development for growing pups. It also provides safety for all, from newborn pups to aged, elderly dogs. The shepherd must understand that the groundwork for adding a new canine to an established LGD pack begins with preparation that starts long before the new pup arrives.

The biggest problem I see with LGD owners today is that they’re afraid to trust their dogs. One often fails to grasp the true nature of a Livestock Guardian Dog breed, good specimens of which are highly intelligent, perceptive and work heavily off of their innate nurturing instinct. They don’t need constant obedience commands and direction from the owner.

It’s all too natural for human beings to feel responsible and to micro-manage and over-control one’s guardian dogs by issuing commands for the simplest tasks. A command to go through a gate for example, instead of using direct, simple body language that would facilitate the action in an easier, straightforward manner: If we fail to trust the dog, the dog never trusts us. It’s a vicious circle and causes confusion, multiple training issues, and other problems.

An older Great Pyrenees male tolerates and protects a young Pyrenean Mastiff pup. Acceptance like this from an adult male is the norm in a stable, family pack of LGDs.

Dog Adding Tips

From years of experience, here are my tips on how to successfully add new pups or adult dogs to an established pack of LGDs:

1. Buy and use only legitimate LGD breeds.—This cannot be stressed enough. Purchase only legitimate LGD breeds or crosses of LGD breeds. Not much need be said about this obvious fact to the experienced or lifelong shepherd, who knows what “real” LGDs are—and what they aren’t.

However, there are squadrons of relative neophytes in for example, the hobby farming world who are convinced their “Samoyed x Great Pyrenees cross” or “Labrador x Chow cross” is a “legit” LGD. They aren’t. And they can pose serious threats to livestock because of prey drive and lack of guarding instinct.

Risky crosses like those and others have no place in a guardian dog pack and cause more problems than they solve.

2. Respect the dog family pack dynamic.—A healthy, working dog pack is a family. It’s not stagnant. It changes through aging, births, and deaths. That’s what makes adding a pup or an older dog possible and totally natural. It’s not based on an “alpha” ruling the pack.

3. The shepherd as pack parent and leader, not “alpha.”—The “pack parent” (that is, the owner, who is also the leader) sets the tone that will determine if this is a content, confident, well-adjusted family pack of solid, balanced dogs, or a dysfunctional family of frightened, confused dogs, afraid of their own shadows, afraid to be touched by humans, and suspicious of and aggressive towards any new additions. (Recommended reading material at the end of this article has a lot to say about this).

4. Owner as wise, benevolent leader.—A strong pack leader doesn’t bully or raise his voice. He speaks to his dogs in a normal tone. A strong pack leader is calm, confident, quiet and respectful. There are no “alpha rolls” or the use of cruel gimmicks like PVC pipe “yokes” or shock collars.

Adding to a pack can be done with little if any drama and stress when a shepherd practices compassionate and magnanimous leadership. It’s important to be a part of their pack family, not a harsh disciplinarian who only commands and rebukes.

5. Understand and correctly interpret canine body language; learn how to use it to communicate with your dogs.—Body language, tone of voice and facial expressions from the shepherd will be what sends the right (and wrong) signals to dogs.

Shepherds need to learn to understand their dogs’ body language and be mindful of the signals sent by their dogs and by themselves.

Don’t know about canine body language? It is fascinating. Learn about it, because understanding it can make all the difference between failure and success with LGDs.

Books highly recommended for learning about canine body language are included at the end of this article.

6. Importance of patience and trust.—Give all dogs time to adjust. And be willing to adjust expectations. Be flexible and understanding.

This means letting go of controlling and micromanaging every move the pup or the pack makes during introductions. Let the dogs show what they can do on their own. Give the dogs the freedom to move around and send the right body language to each other in order to effect a calm introduction with the new addition.

Many people fail to trust their dogs, and by not trusting their dogs, in turn their dogs do not trust them.

The shepherd must trust his dogs, and the dogs must trust the shepherd, or it is all for naught. Remember LGDs are independent thinkers of a nurturing nature, that by instinct protect stock from predators. Learn to trust that instinct.

7. Timing is everything; bring the new dog in on a calm day with as few distractions going on as possible.—Choose a day when the weather is calm (i.e., no howling winds, extreme heat or cold, storms, etc.). Pick a day for introductions that is not rife with special projects, visitors to the farm, drama or work pressure. Choose the best time of the day, based on when dogs are rested and not overly exhausted from working.

8. Chose an open area in which to make introductions.—Dogs will feel uneasy and trapped in a small, closed-in area and may have the urge to flee. Bring the new pup or dog into an open space area of the front yard or barnyard that’s open and clear when bringing in the new pup to greet the pack. Don’t begin introductions against a building or a wall or in a corner. Make sure that any dog in the pack can easily move away or leave at leisure without running into a closed gate or a wall that impedes its exit.

9. Sit down.—One of the most efficient ways to show dogs calm and trust is to use the right body language. Grab a chair and sit down in the open area during introductions; this powerful calming signal will assist in relaxing the pack and the owner.

10. Let the pack come to the new addition.—Don’t take the pup to the pack. Let your existing dogs come to the new pup on their own time and terms. Most dogs will immediately, if not very soon, come investigate a newcomer in their world. 11. If a reprimand is needed, try my “Mr. Miyagi grunt.”—In the popular movie The Karate Kid, Pat Morita plays Mr. Miyagi, the humble, unassuming black belt karate master who teaches his protégé, “Daniel-san” the martial arts. I have a special way of rebuking my dogs here, a deep, short guttural growl, or as I refer to it, “my Mr. Miyagi Grunt”—the deep guttural noise Morita made in the movie when admonishing Daniel-san.

Learn how to tell a dog it has done the wrong thing by using what I call “the hard eye”: Staring firmly at the dog, in the eyes, with a hard gaze. Combined with the guttural grunt, my dogs know this means business and stop immediately what they are doing that merited the scolding.

12. Adult dog additions to an established pack are where the owner’s calmness, trust, and previous groundwork will pay off.—I reinforce trust in my dogs by letting the new dog intermingle with the pack immediately. No separation for hours, days or weeks, no tethering up and no kenneling apart from the pack. This requires trust on the part of the shepherd.

Learn to let go and trust; for some operators, this is very difficult to do, but makes all the difference in the world. Do not micromanage or try to control every move the adult dog makes.

Understand that ritualized aggression—that is, play-type aggressive behavior that’s played out under strict rules of engagement within a pack of dogs, only goes so far. Allow pack members to exercise this right. If aggression between the pack members and the new dog goes too far, step in with “the hard eye” and a “Mr. Miyagi grunt”.

13. Once the new LGD has met the pack and it is obvious they are accepting the new addition, allow the new dog to accompany the others to livestock.—The owner needs to go into the livestock with the pack.

Take a walk with the pack around the perimeter of the paddock or field. Do this at least once daily, preferably more, so the new addition understands what its new turf is and knows that the shepherd is part of the team.

Encourage the new pup when it shows affection with livestock, with positive reinforcement. Keep it casual, let the dog meander and explore with pack members.

Fresh from Spain, a Spanish Mastiff pup is allowed to mingle with a litter of Pyrenean Mastiff puppies, and several adults. She adapted immediately.

Summary

The shepherd’s current pack of dogs and how they were raised from puppyhood will dictate success or struggle in bringing in new pups and dogs. The time to begin planning for new arrivals is before the operator needs more dogs—not the day they arrive.

Build that foundation of trust with patience and respect.

Take the time to learn and use canine body language and how to communicate using physical signals to dogs.

By doing advance work, the shepherd can make adding dogs to an existing pack a “non-event” instead of a stressful drama.

Recommended Reading

• Canine Behavior: A Photo Illustrated Handbook, by Barbara Handelman, M.Ed. CDBC, Woof and Word Press.

• On Talking Terms With Dogs: Calming Signals, by Turid Rugaas, Dogwise Publications.

• The Truth About Wolves and Dogs: Dispelling The Myths of Dog Training, by Toni Shelbourne, Hubble & Hattie Press.

• De-Bunking the Alpha Dog Theory: Exerting “dominance” over your dog is the wrong way to build a good relationship, by Pat Miller, CBCC-KA, CPDT-KA, CDBC, Whole Dog Journal, December 2011.

• “The Numbers Game: Guardian Dog Pack Size Affects Success,” by Brenda M. Negri, sheep!, May/June, 2013, pp. 50-52.

©2017 by Brenda M. Negri a decades-long rancher who raises and trains livestock guardian dogs at Cinco Deseos Ranch in Nevada.

Originally published in the November/December 2017 issue of sheep!.

Adding New Dogs Into an Existing Livestock Guardian Dog Pack was originally posted by All About Chickens

[williamslucy]

Smile and Wave - Book text

NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION AND GESTURES:

Non verbal communication is communication without using words. Body language is a branch of this communication focusing mainly on the different body gestures and facial expressions. All sort of information can be gathered from:

Facial expressions

Gestures

Posture

Touch

Tone of Voice

Rate of speech

Volume of Voice

Engagement with others (such as how long you keep eye contact) 

and more

Body language is something that evolved over time to answer human social needs. Scientists and anthropologists still study which gestures developed and to what propose.

Body language in communication can be divided into several groups. Some gestures and reactions are inborn, and they are universal around the world. Others are learned by observation, and some are refined with age and use.

The use of speech is still relatively new to human communication, so body language still plays an integral part in our communication.

While today this may seem primitive, in the days before we knew how to speak - grunting and waving was often enough to get the point through.

There is no true communication in face to face encounter without body language. The verbal and the nonverbal communication complement each other.

-

The simple way to think about gestures is to imagine them like words and punctuation.

When we say the right verbal words and enhance them with the right gestures, or use them at the right time - we reinforce our message and consequently appear more honest, confident, friendly, authoritative, seductive or whatever we try to convey.

And when we don't - our actions talk louder than words.

Gestures are divided between those you're born knowing - like smiling, for example, and those you learn through culture and habit - like making the "thumbs up". The body decided what is right and what is wrong in this communication, it's something we're either born knowing or learn through experience.

But of course, since we grow in different cultures and have different experiences we might have different notions about what certain actions mean.

The head -

Head gestures reveal the way we see things and how we feel about them. As the sensory center of our body, the head turns towards the things we like, and away from the things we want to avoid.

We know that a nod means a 'yes' and shaking the head means a 'no'. We also learned to recognize many other more subtle movements subconsciously, meaning we get a certain feedback from them but often if we were asked why is that so we couldn't say.

head gestures are mainly telling us 2 things:

1) How someone is agreeable and in rapport with us

2) How engaged, enthusiastic and committed they are to the current event, and if they're not - where their true interest lies.

When it comes to priorities, our head is definitely at the top. When we're about to fall we won't think twice - we will instinctively push our hands forward to protect our head, even at the expense of injury to the hands.

This sort of attitude is seen in these 2 opposite head gestures:

Head Thrust - When we're extremely angry we thrust our head forward. We neglect our self defense and focus on the attack, some people won't hesitate to use their head as a weapon and headbutt their opponent.

Head Retreat - Just think of a turtle retreating back into the safety of his house. We do that when we're afraid and defensive but also when we feel negatively towards what's happening - we back away from what we don't like.

Head tilt - What it can tell us is when our listener is intrigued and engaged with our words, when we have his\her attention. It also means that this person is quite comfortable with us because this is a display of a laid back attitude.

The kind of interest and attention can be diverse and depends upon the context:

In general it's a positive sign because it means our listener is in tune with us and we have their attention.

Building Rapport/ head nod -

It's important for us as social animals to look for some common ground with those who surround us. We instinctively want to feel similar to others so we can be accepted and understood by them.

This has a big effect on our behaviour and is evident in our body language, in what is called isoprxism. This is the behaviour of copying each others body language when we feel rapport with them.

Nodding is addictive, when we talk about something that is important to us - we nod and expect the other party to nod back - it’s a feedback mechanism to see if we're all on the same page.

This is also true when we want to show sympathy and enthusiasm towards others, it’s an appeasement gesture, just like the smile.

Of course, this happens on a subconscious level, it's so addictive that it's hard to resist not to nod when the other party does.

First of all let's talk about the speed and rhythm of the nod:

Slow and lengthy nods usually show agreement and understanding, they're not urging you to finish talking. Small nods combined with a smile is an encouraging and bonding signal.

A fast rapid nod, especially if the listener is touching his ear or rubs his face,  show impatience and urge you to move on or let them do the talking. 

Direction -

The head is the centre of your sensors and therefore will point itself to see, hear and smell more of what it likes and move away from the things it doesn't like.

So if people don't look at you while they nod it can mean that they're distracted and nod only for show

It can also mean that they’re still thinking about something you said earlier.  It's hard to think deeply and maintain eye contact, it’s their "processing" time.

The Body -

The way our body is held is a reflection of our inner world and the way we treat our body.

1. Gestures that involve our torso and hips - the trunk of our body.

2. Gestures that are not particular to a single limb, or a string of several actions that happen simultaneously.

in contrast to other body parts, we don't really consider the trunk of our body as a very expressive or "mobile" part.

Our torso, especially on the ventral side (the front) is a very vulnerable section of the body, it includes the neck, chest, abdomen and the crotch. These parts contain organs critical to our survival, so it's only natural that we are born with an automatic safe guard system installed to protect them even at the expense of other, less critical parts.

when we feel physically and emotionally safe - we feel comfortable exposing our torso and make open body gestures. When we do feel discomfort or anxiety, we often resort to gestures and actions that shield our body, make it smaller and\or hide behind objects.

Space-

Dominant and powerful figures take more space than submissive and insecure ones. It's the same as in the animal kingdom, where the alpha male gets the biggest share of food, females and space, and it's also true to our species

So sending arms aside, laying the legs on the table and putting hands on hips all tell the same - "I feel good and strong, this is my domain"

When we want others to trust and believe us we need to show that we have nothing to hide. By exposing the ventral side and removing physical objects in front of us we remove the physical block - what leads to a more open communication channel.

One of the popular ways to show sincerity is to expose the palms - the ventral side of our hands. It says: "hey, I have nothing to hide, just look at my hands!"

crotch-

we have many body gestures that either emphasize or cover the genital area of our body. These gestures are more frequent in men, because they have a subconscious drive to show females that they are virile and strong, by putting the emphasize on their virile part.

All these signs are associated with dominance, sexual aggression and little regard for social norms. Meaning you will often see these signs in young men trying to establish their social status and reveal their sexual desire.

When these signs appear in females they send a strong image of disregard for what others may think and a free spirit personality.

The opposite body gestures obviously send the opposite message - covering your genitals by holding hands over them sends messages of insecurity and shyness. It often appear in times of distress and vulnerability. Like when we're being reprimanded.

The hands-

Most of our gestures come from the hands, and we're very adept at making and understanding signals through them.

Hands are the symbol of productivity and creative work, It's only natural then that we will find a way to communicate with them. Another aspect is touch which is perhaps the most fundamental form of communication we have, is also reliant on our hands.

The combination of these two qualities - both manipulating and understating the world around us through our hands, make them a great candidate as the prime tool for making gestures to communicate with others.

The word kinesics comes from the root word kinesis, which means “movement,” and refers to the study of hand, arm, body, and face movements.  The study of body language is divided into 5 main categories. They are classified by the role and purpose of the gesture or display:

Emblems – Emblems is the group of gestures that is most easily identified and understood, that is, if you share the same cultural background, knowledge or experience. These are conscious motions that are used to replace words. They are learned just like words and have a specific message that the maker wants to deliver. Examples: “The finger”, victory sign, thumbs up, the "OK" signal.

Illustrators – these are actions that go along words. Whether we want to describe something as big, important or delicate we have the hands to help us out. As you might already experienced - it's very frustrating talking without moving, it feels so robotic and lacking. When we "talk with the hands" we create a whole new layer of information regarding what we say. If that layer matches our words we reinforce our message, if it's not, it contradicts our words and thus make us look unreliable.

 Affect Displays - This set of gestures is used specifically to reveal a certain emotion. This means it's more in the realm of facial expressions. Emotions are easily interpreted and expressed through our face - a mask capable of making hundreds of combinations of facial muscles that we know to recognize and associate with certain feelings.

Regulators - Regulators are a collection of expressions and gestures that help us control and understand conversations better . It includes a combination of many aspects of body language such as: eye contact, touch, hand gestures, head nods or head shakes, facial expressions and vocal cues.

Adaptors - Not all hand gestures are about communication. Adaptors are actions we do to make ourselves more comfortable or to release excess energy of stress and excitement, these are the least aware motions, such as:

Shifting weight from side to side to sit or stand more comfortably

Scratching

Tapping feet etc.

The meanings behind such gestures can range from a simple momentary discomfort to outright deceitful behaviour.

Sources-

Tarakanov, S. (2012).Body Language Gestures. [online] Study-Body-Language.com. Available at: http://www.study-body-language.com/gestures.html#sthash.JaW0PkHe.dpbs [Accessed 31 Oct. 2017].

Open.lib.umn.edu. (2013).4.2 Types of Nonverbal Communication | Communication in the Real World: An Introduction to Communication Studies. [online] Available at: http://open.lib.umn.edu/communication/chapter/4-2-types-of-nonverbal-communication/ [Accessed 31 Oct. 2017].

Text info:

This is the final text for my book and includes most of the information from my research about gestures. There is a lot of information following this topic, due to this I found it quite hard to cut down my words to reach the word limit, however I managed to do this in the end. Most of my information came from one source this is because it was not written scientifically, but in a way that is understandable for a more passive audience who wants a basic understanding (which I believe complements my illustrations).This mean’t information from some other sources didn’t flow well with the majority of my text,  but did help to give some more depth to less explanatory areas information.  

Book title: 

Smile and Wave is the title of my book, I chose this as it seems to be a common quotation that most audiences have a recognition of, it also has clear links to gestures as these are two of the most common forms of communicative gestures that we tend to use and understand. Lastly, these are two fairly friendly gestures and to see them as a main feature on the cover of the book may appear inviting and suggest accessible content.

[robbiemeadow]

The Magic Relationship Ratio, According to Science

Whether it’s about not having enough sex, the dirty laundry, or spending too much money, conflict is inevitable in every marriage.

To understand the difference between happy and unhappy couples, Dr. Gottman and Robert Levenson began doing longitudinal studies of couples in the 1970s. They asked couples to solve a conflict in their relationship in 15 minutes, then sat back and watched. After carefully reviewing the tapes and following up with them nine years later, they were able to predict which couples would stay together and which would divorce with over 90% accuracy.

Their discovery was simple. The difference between happy and unhappy couples is the balance between positive and negative interactions during conflict. There is a very specific ratio that makes love last.

That “magic ratio” is 5 to 1. This means that for every negative interaction during conflict, a stable and happy marriage has five (or more) positive interactions.

“When the masters of marriage are talking about something important,” Dr. Gottman says, “they may be arguing, but they are also laughing and teasing and there are signs of affection because they have made emotional connections.”

On the other hand, unhappy couples tend to engage in fewer positive interactions to compensate for their escalating negativity. If the positive-to-negative ratio during conflict is 1-to-1 or less, that’s unhealthy, and indicates a couple teetering on the edge of divorce.

So what’s considered a negative interaction?

The One Negative Interaction

Examples of negative interactions include another predictor of divorce, The Four Horsemen, as well as feelings of loneliness and isolation. While anger is certainly a negative interaction and a natural reaction during conflict, it isn’t necessarily damaging to a marriage. Dr. Gottman explains in Why Marriages Succeed or Fail that “anger only has negative effects in marriage if it is expressed along with criticism or contempt, or if it is defensive.”

Negative interactions during conflict include being emotionally dismissive or critical, or becoming defensive. Body language such as eye-rolling can be a powerful negative interaction, and it is important to remember that negativity holds a great deal of emotional power, which is why it takes five positive interactions to overcome any one negative interaction. And these negative interactions happen in healthy marriages, too, but they are quickly repaired and replaced with validation and empathy.

The Five Positive Interactions

Couples who flourish engage in conflict differently than those who eventually break up. Not only do the Masters of marriage start conflict more gently, but they also make repairs in both minor and major ways that highlight the positivity in their relationship. Below is a list of interactions that stable couples regularly use to maintain positivity and closeness.

Be Interested When your partner complains about something, do you listen? Are you curious about why he or she is so mad? Displaying interest includes asking open-ended questions, as well as more subtle signals such as nods, making eye contact, and timely “uh-huhs” that show how closely you are listening.

Express Affection Do you hold hands with your partner, offer a romantic kiss, or embrace your partner when greeting them at the end of the day? Expressions of affection can happen in small ways both within and outside of conflict.

Within conflict, displays of physical and verbal affection reduce stress. If you’re having a difficult conversation and your partner takes your hand and says, “Gosh, this is hard to talk about. I really love you and I know we can figure this out together,” you will likely feel better because their display of affection is bound to reduce tension and bring you closer together.

Demonstrate They Matter Our motto for making marriage last is “small things often.” The small acts that demonstrate you care are powerful ways to enhance the positivity in your marriage.

Bringing up something that is important to your partner, even when you disagree, demonstrates that you are putting their interests on par with yours and shows your partner that you care about them. And how you treat each other outside of conflict influences how well you’ll handle your inevitable disagreements.

For example, if your partner is having a bad day and you stop to pick up dinner on the way home, you’re showing him that he is on your mind. Those small gestures accumulate over time and will provide a buffer of positivity in your marriage so that when you do enter a conflict, it will be easier to engage in positive interactions that outweigh the negative.

Intentional Appreciation How you think about your partner influences how you treat them. By focusing on the positives of your marriage such as the good moments from your past and your partner’s admirable traits, you put positive energy into your relationship.

Negativity is bound to enter your thoughts, especially during conflict. Intentionally focusing on the positive will counterbalance any of the moments when you struggle to find something good about your partner.

Now turn your thoughts into action: every time you express your positive thinking and give your partner a verbal compliment, no matter how small, you are strengthening your marriage.

Find Opportunities for Agreement When couples fight, they focus on the negative parts of the conflict and miss the opportunities for what they agree on. When you seek opportunities for agreement and express yourself accordingly, you are showing that you see your spouse’s viewpoint as valid and that you care about them. An alliance in conflict, even minor, can fundamentally shift how couples fight.

Empathize and Apologize Empathy is one of the deepest forms of human connection. When you empathize with your spouse, you show that you understand and feel what your partner is feeling, even if you express empathy nonverbally through a facial expression or a physical gesture.

Saying things like, “It makes sense to me that you feel…” will help your partner see that you are on their team. Empathy is a profound connecting skill that all romantic partners can and should improve, and there is no limit to the amount of empathy you can express.

And, if your partner is upset with something you said or did, simply apologize. If you can find a moment during conflict to say “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. That makes me sad,” you will provide a positive and empathetic interaction that reinforces your bond.

Accept Your Partner’s Perspective An approach that drastically improves conflict is understanding that each of your perspectives are valid, even if they are opposed to each other.

While you may not agree with your partner’s perspective, letting them know that their perspective makes sense will show them that you respect them. One of the best ways to do this is to summarize your spouse’s experience during a conflict, even if you disagree. Remember that validation doesn’t mean agreement, but it does signal respect.

Make Jokes Playful teasing, silliness, and finding moments to laugh together can ease tension in a heated conflict. Most couples have inside jokes they only share with each other. This highlights the exclusivity a couple has.

However, a word of caution: remember to find a way to joke around that maintains respect and appreciation for your spouse and that serves to bring you both closer together.

Test Your Ratio

Is your relationship unbalanced? Observe how you and your partner interact. For every negative interaction that happens, are there more positive interactions? If not, take it upon yourself to create more positive interactions in your relationship, and also try to notice the small moments of positivity that currently exist there, and that you may have been missing.

Keep a journal for one week that notes the positive interactions, however small, in your marriage. As Dr. Gottman’s research has revealed, the more positive actions and feelings you can create in your marriage, the happier and more stable your marriage will be.

Remember to maintain the Magic Ratio in your marriage with our 5:1 Tumbler.

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Adding New Dogs

By Brenda M. Negri

In my previous article (“The Aging LGD: Caring for Senior Livestock Guardian Dogs,” sheep!, September/October, 2017, p. 36), we saw how important it is to bring in younger dogs to replace elder Livestock Guardian Dogs (LGD) before “old timers” get past their prime.

Many operators incorrectly start their LGD experience by purchasing, training and using just one dog at a time. They usually find out sooner than later, they should have bought two dogs or more to start. To be used successfully as guardians of livestock, LGDs should be run in pairs or more.

A ravenous wolf pack or bear will make a short order meal of just one LGD. Bottom line: There’s strength in numbers.

Eventually the shepherd realizes he must add more dogs but often is afraid to, or confused on how best to do it.

I’ve run as many as 25 adult LGDs at one time. That’s an exceptional number of dogs to be running together safely and cohesively as a family pack. It has offered me a wonderful opportunity to learn about canine pack life, canine body language and understand dogs more deeply.

In my dog pack, lactating females will often assist in babysitting litters and allow pups from another litter to suckle them. Puppies mingle with adults and other litters. There’s very little conflict and no separation of dogs in a well-adjusted pack.

This depth of intermingling is similar to what’s seen in wolf packs. It only comes about when a domestic dog pack is a content and confident family unit. That comes about when owners, in the role of pack “parent” and leader, trust their dogs.

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The Pack as a Unit

A pack provides support, security and psychological and physical development for growing pups. It also provides safety for all, from newborn pups to aged, elderly dogs. The shepherd must understand that the groundwork for adding a new canine to an established LGD pack begins with preparation that starts long before the new pup arrives.

The biggest problem I see with LGD owners today is that they’re afraid to trust their dogs. One often fails to grasp the true nature of a Livestock Guardian Dog breed, good specimens of which are highly intelligent, perceptive and work heavily off of their innate nurturing instinct. They don’t need constant obedience commands and direction from the owner.

It’s all too natural for human beings to feel responsible and to micro-manage and over-control one’s guardian dogs by issuing commands for the simplest tasks. A command to go through a gate for example, instead of using direct, simple body language that would facilitate the action in an easier, straightforward manner: If we fail to trust the dog, the dog never trusts us. It’s a vicious circle and causes confusion, multiple training issues and other problems.

An older Great Pyrenees male tolerates and protects a young Pyrenean Mastiff pup. Acceptance like this from an adult male is the norm in a stable, family pack of LGDs.

Dog Adding Tips

From years of experience, here are my tips on how to successfully add new pups or adult dogs to an established pack of LGDs:

1. Buy and use only legitimate LGD breeds.—This cannot be stressed enough. Purchase only legitimate LGD breeds or crosses of LGD breeds. Not much need be said about this obvious fact to the experienced or lifelong shepherd, who knows what “real” LGDs are—and what they aren’t.

However there are squadrons of relative neophytes in for example, the hobby farming world who are convinced their “Samoyed x Great Pyrenees cross” or “Labrador x Chow cross” is a “legit” LGD. They aren’t. And they can pose serious threats to livestock because of prey drive and lack of guarding instinct.

Risky crosses like those and others have no place in a guardian dog pack and cause more problems than they solve.

2. Respect the dog family pack dynamic.—A healthy, working dog pack is a family. It’s not stagnant. It changes through aging, births and deaths. That’s what makes adding a pup or an older dog possible and totally natural. It’s not based on an “alpha” ruling the pack.

3. The shepherd as pack parent and leader, not “alpha.”—The “pack parent” (that is, the owner, who is also the leader) sets the tone that will determine if this is a content, confident, well adjusted family pack of solid, balanced dogs, or a dysfunctional family of frightened, confused dogs, afraid of their own shadows, afraid to be touched by humans, and suspicious of and aggressive towards any new additions. (Recommended reading material at the end of this article has a lot to say about this).

4. Owner as wise, benevolent leader.—A strong pack leader doesn’t bully or raise his voice. He speaks to his dogs in a normal tone. A strong pack leader is calm, confident, quiet and respectful. There are no “alpha rolls” or the use of cruel gimmicks like PVC pipe “yokes” or shock collars.

Adding to a pack can be done with little if any drama and stress when a shepherd practices compassionate and magnanimous leadership. It’s important to be a part of their pack family, not a harsh disciplinarian who only commands and rebukes.

5. Understand and correctly interpret canine body language; learn how to use it to communicate with your dogs.—Body language, tone of voice and facial expressions from the shepherd will be what sends the right (and wrong) signals to dogs.

Shepherds need to learn to understand their dogs’ body language and be mindful of the signals sent by their dogs and by themselves.

Don’t know about canine body language? It is fascinating. Learn about it, because understanding it can make all the difference between failure and success with LGDs.

Books highly recommended for learning about canine body language are included at the end of this article.

6. Importance of patience and trust.—Give all dogs time to adjust. And be willing to adjust expectations. Be flexible and understanding.

This means letting go of controlling and micromanaging every move the pup or the pack makes during introductions. Let the dogs show what they can do on their own. Give the dogs the freedom to move around and send the right body language to each other in order to effect a calm introduction with the new addition.

Many people fail to trust their dogs, and by not trusting their dogs, in turn their dogs do not trust them.

The shepherd must trust his dogs, and the dogs must trust the shepherd, or it is all for naught. Remember LGDs are independent thinkers of a nurturing nature, that by instinct protect stock from predators. Learn to trust that instinct.

7. Timing is everything; bring the new dog in on a calm day with as few distractions going on as possible.—Choose a day when the weather is calm (i.e., no howling winds, extreme heat or cold, storms, etc.). Pick a day for introductions that is not rife with special projects, visitors to the farm, drama or work pressure. Choose the best time of the day, based on when dogs are rested and not overly exhausted from working.

8. Chose an open area in which to make introductions.—Dogs will feel uneasy and trapped in a small, closed-in area and may have the urge to flee. Bring the new pup or dog into an open space area of the front yard or barnyard that’s open and clear when bringing in the new pup to greet the pack. Don’t begin introductions against a building or a wall or in a corner. Make sure that any dog in the pack can easily move away or leave at leisure without running into a closed gate or a wall that impedes its exit.

9. Sit down.—One of the most efficient ways to show dogs calm and trust is to use the right body language. Grab a chair and sit down in the open area during introductions; this powerful calming signal will assist in relaxing the pack and the owner.

10. Let the pack come to the new addition.—Don’t take the pup to the pack. Let your existing dogs come to the new pup on their own time and terms. Most dogs will immediately, if not very soon, come investigate a new comer in their world. 11. If a reprimand is needed, try my “Mr. Miyagi grunt.”—In the popular movie The Karate Kid, Pat Morita plays Mr. Miyagi, the humble, unassuming black belt karate master who teaches his protégé, “Daniel-san” the martial arts. I have a special way of rebuking my dogs here, a deep, short guttural growl, or as I refer to it, “my Mr. Miyagi Grunt”—the deep guttural noise Morita made in the movie when admonishing Daniel-san.

Learn how to tell a dog it has done the wrong thing by using what I call “the hard eye”: Staring firmly at the dog, in the eyes, with a hard gaze. Combined with the guttural grunt, my dogs know this means business and stop immediately what they are doing that merited the scolding.

12. Adult dog additions to an established pack are where the owner’s calmness, trust, and previous groundwork will pay off.—I reinforce trust in my dogs by letting the new dog intermingle with the pack immediately. No separation for hours, days or weeks, no tethering up and no kenneling apart from the pack. This requires trust on the part of the shepherd.

Learn to let go and trust; for some operators this is very difficult to do, but makes all the difference in the world. Do not micromanage or try to control every move the adult dog makes.

Understand that ritualized aggression—that is, play-type aggressive behavior that’s played out under strict rules of engagement within a pack of dogs, only goes so far. Allow pack members to exercise this right. If aggression between the pack members and the new dog goes too far, step in with “the hard eye” and a “Mr. Miyagi grunt”.

13. Once the new LGD has met the pack and it is obvious they are accepting the new addition, allow the new dog to accompany the others to livestock.—The owner needs to go into the livestock with the pack.

Take a walk with the pack around the perimeter of the paddock or field. Do this at least once daily, preferably more, so the new addition understands what its new turf is and knows that the shepherd is part of the team.

Encourage the new pup when it shows affection with livestock, with positive reinforcement. Keep it casual, let the dog meander and explore with pack members.

Fresh from Spain, a Spanish Mastiff pup is allowed to mingle with a litter of Pyrenean Mastiff puppies, and several adults. She adapted immediately.

Summary

The shepherd’s current pack of dogs and how they were raised from puppyhood will dictate success or struggle in bringing in new pups and dogs. The time to begin planning for new arrivals is before the operator needs more dogs—not the day they arrive.

Build that foundation of trust with patience and respect.

Take the time to learn and use canine body language and how to communicate using physical signals to dogs.

By doing advance work, the shepherd can make adding dogs to an existing pack a “non-event” instead of a stressful drama.

Recommended Reading

• Canine Behavior: A Photo Illustrated Handbook, by Barbara Handelman, M.Ed. CDBC, Woof and Word Press.

• On Talking Terms With Dogs: Calming Signals, by Turid Rugaas, Dogwise Publications.

• The Truth About Wolves and Dogs: Dispelling The Myths of Dog Training, by Toni Shelbourne, Hubble & Hattie Press.

• De-Bunking the Alpha Dog Theory: Exerting “dominance” over your dog is the wrong way to build a good relationship, by Pat Miller, CBCC-KA, CPDT-KA, CDBC, Whole Dog Journal, December 2011.

• “The Numbers Game: Guardian Dog Pack Size Affects Success,” by Brenda M. Negri, sheep!, May/June, 2013, pp. 50-52.

©2017 by Brenda M. Negri a decades-long rancher who raises and trains livestock guardian dogs at Cinco Deseos Ranch in Nevada.

Originally published in the November/December 2017 issue of sheep!.

Adding New Dogs was originally posted by All About Chickens