#and feeling shame abt not being dehydrated enough which is like wow every day i get more crazy huh

[bioethicists]

i've been at res 4.5 days now and it is a lot better than i expected. i'm still quite ambivalent about recovery but i'm glad to have space to grieve my brother without responsibilities and i'm willing to accept that maybe i need to give up at least some of my behaviors if i want to live a fuller life