#and happy international asexuality day to all Aces Who Kill

[flyingbooks42]

Happy International Asexuality Day to Light Yagami

[ohheyitsokay]

slowly

Pairing: Jack Daniels (Agent Whiskey) x  (f) ace!reader

Wordcount: 2.2k

Warnings: discussions of sex and related topics, maybe some angst? a lot more analogies than actual descriptions 

Summary: a drive in theatre, a budding relationship, and a whole lot of mutual support

Notes: okay obviously this is a wildly personal topic - I fully understand that asexuality looks different for everyone. For full disclosure, in this story, the reader knows they are somewhere on the asexuality spectrum, but is not aromantic. They are also are on a path of self discovery and are open to learning about themselves. This IS NOT saying asexuals who are like this are growing "better" than those who are not interested. Asexuals who do know what they do and dont want are perfect and do not need to change or compromise as part of their personal growth.

There will be an optional part 2 where they have more conversations about intimacy and explore together what works for them, but again, this is not everyone's story, or the "right" way, it's just... one story.

That being said, I genuinely hope yall enjoy!

>>

You stared at the bashful man in front of you openly, your hands stilling on the groceries you were halfway done unloading.

Even the slightest rustle of the cloth bags was painfully loud in the silence that stretched between you.

Jack had burst through your door, confident as always, but it was a thin layer over his anxious heart. With two long strides, he was pulling you into his arms, almost crushing you against his chest.

Arms winding around his middle, you held him just as tightly before you found your voice again.

“You’re back,” you said, simply amazed that he was a whole week early from the long mission. “When did you get back?”

You hadn’t realized he had picked you up until your feet were on solid ground again, and he was pulling away.

“Just a few hours ago, I had to make it back in time for opening night, right?” he grinned winningly.

You tried not to overthink, feeling a jolt of excitement that he remembered – tonight. The drive-in theatre in town was opening for the season and you had been more than excited. As one of your most consistent movie night friends, Jack had promised to take you, full of butterflies and subtext.

For as close as you’d gotten over the past few months, you weren’t sure what to make of his expression.

“If that’s okay? I should’ve double checked,” you hadn’t responded and it was apparently making him nervous.

“Yeah, Jack, that sounds great,” you reassured him, turning back to your groceries, equally nervous.

If you were being honest, you hadn’t expected him to remember because it had almost felt like an off-hand comment at the time, and you hadn’t wanted to get your hope up to much.

Something was welling in your stomach as you turned away from him fully, putting each item in its respective home in your kitchen. You liked him, of course you liked him. He was bold and kind and passionate, and more handsome than seemed reasonable for a single person. And… and when he was nearby, there was a feeling of safety, just out of reach, like water lapping at your feet at the beach.

It was more than tempting but, same as the ocean, there was also an uneasiness in the unknown. The same uneasiness was present in every relationship you’d ever had – because you had a secret.

Well, it was less of a secret and more… something you were figuring out that you hadn’t talked about much. Despite long late night talks and months of growing close and even slowly falling for each other, you hadn’t quite found the courage to talk to Jack about it yet. The more real the soft, sweet moments between you got, the more the unease filled your bones. You knew how he was with other women, and each time his hand lingered on your hip, your shoulder, your cheek, a quiet voice whispered that he deserved better.

Jack was staring at you, lost in your thoughts as you mechanically worked your way through the bags. His heart ached for you, and he wished more than anything that you trusted him with whatever you were holding back. But he was a determined man – he would do whatever he could to show you that no matter what, he wasn’t going anywhere.

 -

After awhile, Jack coaxed you back to your normal self, telling you as much of his mission as he could and helping you cook dinner. Moving around your kitchen was wonderfully peaceful, a little bubble of intimacy. Food was great for neutralizing anxious thoughts.

The feeling continued into his truck as you excitedly packed blankets and he fought the urge to kiss your adorable face when you found the snacks he’d picked up. Even before he left, in anticipation for tonight, he cleaned the front seat thoroughly, and made sure his radio was in good condition.

The movie went well too, but as much as he wanted to pull you into his arms, press you into his side, be the warmth against the cool night air, there was a hesitation that held him at bay.

Every time he’d reach for you, cautious and gentle, your skin would twitch, almost jumping away before you’d smile at him and lean into it. You seemed happy, but part of your mind was holding you back. As friends, you two were relatively physically affectionate, so he made a mental note to tread light and watch for more cues. Jack never wanted to impose himself on anyone but with you, even less.

So he waited. He had no doubt you’d talk to him when you were ready, and heavens knows that he had plenty of things he had kept buried. It was still nice, hearing you laugh next to him - just him – and seeing the light reflecting off the movie dance across your skin. Talking with you was always easy, even more so without friends or family around and it made Jack ache with eagerness.

As he pulled up to your home, he gently took your hand.

“Darlin, it was plum delightful to take you out tonight,” he said, cursing himself internally for how nervous he sounded. You looked his, eyes catching the streetlight like magic and your gentle squeeze gave him courage.

“I really would like to take you out again, on a proper date,” he couldn’t look away from your eyes, trying to read them through the murkiness. “I really like you,” Jack added, quieter, “but you don’t have to respond right now.”

You nodded, your eyes closing tight as though you were at war with yourself.

You think you like me, but I’m not the type of girl you want to date.

“You don’t have to… tell me, if you’re not ready, but,” he offered after a long moment, his free hand flexing on the steering wheel as he forced himself to examine the bushes on the side of the parking lot. “But I’m listening.”

You felt both hot and cold at the same time. All evening you could feel it coming, knew it was going to happen, knew it had to. He deserved this conversation, and honestly, if there was anyone who made you feel like you did, too, it was Jack.

Inhale, exhale. 

Inhale -

“Okay,” - exhale. 

Remembering that neither of you had work the next day helped. Slowly you let go of your hand and unbuckled your seatbelt, shifting to get comfortable again, the actions thick with significance. He returned it, unbuckling too, and killing the engine.

Jack was so respectful you could cry, his obvious anxiety under control enough not to jump to conclusions – to wait for you.

“I like you, too, Jack, but I don’t think we can ever date,” you forced the words out and his heart nearly shattered, confusion barely holding it together.

Eyebrows so drawn in they almost looked like a solid line, he waited, unable to stop a small shake of his head.

Why not? His entire being screamed. With each second that passed, more and more determination seeped into the cracks of his heart, sticking it together. If you liked him as he liked you, it seemed impossible there was anything between you that couldn’t be overcome.

You saw the question in his eyes and the explanation tumbled out.

“It’s just, I know you – I know the girls you go after and the type of relationships most men want. And,” you were sucking in air, the vulnerability raking through your lungs. “And I don’t know if I can ever give you that.”

He started to protest before his hand covered his mouth, irritated movements over his mustache, his jaw working. What he wanted was you. But he needed to let you keep talking. If he interrupted you now, he might never understand what you meant.

You watched his movements, desperation to give him the explanation he deserved growing in you.

“I’ve had people break up with me because I wont sleep with them,” you shoved the words into the space, the most honest you’d maybe ever been.

Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn’t that. Your voice was trembling and so quiet only your moving lips confirmed the words as you continued.

“For me, it’s not something I need, or am particularly comfortable with. You,” you swallowed hard, unable to look at the man beside you. “You deserve someone you can be with, however you want.”

You took another deep breath, feeling light and surprisingly at peace with your honesty. Even the impending rejection felt less scary, now that you had said it all out loud. The trembles settled as you concluded, “I’m still figuring myself out and I just cant guarantee I’ll ever give you what you deserve.”

Of all the conversations with all the others before this, this moment felt the most freeing. It was wild to have such an intimate conversation before you even kissed, but… the foundation of trust that Jack had given you had not been lost on you. You found yourself smiling, looking at him, finally.

His expression had loosened, processing and connecting the dots, his deep eyes unfocused before they slid closed.

Now it was your turn to wait, to be patient, and listen.

Part of him wanted to yell that he wasn’t like the others, that he didn’t care and even that he would wait and work until you were ready. But that wasn’t right, and he knew it.

Inside him, deep, deep down, there was a small light. A candle of flame underneath a glacier: a touch of hope slowly warming its way through layers and layers and centuries of expectations, fear, confusion, and chaos. It was going strong, it just need more time.

“Darlin,” he looked at you, finally, meeting your eyes and feeling for the first time that they were a clear window into your soul. “You are… everything, to me. So… so let’s just take some time to process this. Would that be okay, sweetheart?”

That was the first time anyone had ever responded that way. It was the scariest thing, but it was perfect. You were overwhelmed with the rawness and a glance at the radio told you it was 2 am. Not a time to be making life altering decisions, anyway. Nodding, you pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. The movement was intimate and confident – something that shouldn’t have been possible, but it was.

Jack’s large hand grasped at your neck and jaw, pulling you into him, pressing his forehead on yours. The hairs of his mustache just ticked your lip, but he made no move, respecting one final boundary for the night.

With a squeeze, he let you go, watching with longing eyes as you hopped out of his truck and ran to your front door. The smile you gave him before you slipped inside was the seal, engraving tonight into his memories forever.

And he drove home, his thoughts louder than the wind and the crickets and his pounding heart.

-

Jack invited you over a few days later, a Sunday afternoon. It would be the first time you’d talked, and you were surprisingly calm. For some reason, you felt like you’d be closer to him no matter what happened.

He heard your car on the long gravel driveway and greeted you with an all-encompassing hug. You held each other, like lifelines, for long moments before he pulled you inside.

“My mama sent cookies,” he said, motioning for you to sit at the tall table he had as he set down the plate. You couldn’t help but smile, knowing their Sunday lunches and her beloved baking well. He remained standing across from you, aware of the awkwardness, but eager to get his words right.

“This is all new to me,” he said, wishing suddenly that he’d made tea so his throat wouldn’t feel so dry. “If you really don’t wanna be with me, that’s your choice,” he said, knowing it was right and hating the option, “but I really – you’re just so – I can’t let you go,” his thoughts were jumbling together on his tongue.

It was grounding, when your hands found his, reaching across the table as you sat forward on your stool.

“What if we just took it slow?” you said, and his heart stopped.

“Please,” he managed, and your own chest felt like it would burst. “Would it be alright, darlin?” Jack’s hands held yours, his expression eager.

“Could – could we figure out what works for us? Figure this all out together?” You were close to crying, you wanted that so bad.

“I can’t promise I’ll change or… or what direction I’ll grow,” you said, needing to say it again, needing to be sure.

“I can’t, either, darlin,” he said, and you realized he was right and you would support each other, no matter what.

“But all I need is you. Whatever and however much you’ll give me. That’s more than enough.”

He didn’t say for now.

And you believed him.

Since he was still standing, it made it easy for you to tug him around the table, and you leaned into his chest. It felt safe, safer than you had ever thought was possible for you.

“Okay,” you told the flannel he was wearing, “Let’s figure it out together.” And even though you couldn’t see him, you knew he was smiling, too.

<<

Taglist:

@fangirl-316 @0celestialbitch0 @scribbledghost

[sourwormsaresour]

what are your thoughts on La Squadra's sexualities?

First off, Happy Pride Month! Please have a safe one. Before I start, I just want to let you guys know that I’m a straight cisgender woman so I’m not 100% knowledgeable on sexualities so these are based on my current knowledge of the community. I’m open to all head-canons about La Squadra’s sexualities besides my own :)

Sorbet and Gelato are gay, both using he/him pronouns, and are the most out compared to everyone in the team. Even though La Squadra knew about their relationships, the two themselves aren’t open about it outside of the team and their families. This is especially because relationships can be used against you in the crime world but also because their families rely on them to have a “good reputation” to live comfortably. I head-canon that they are both breadwinners of their families: Gelato has siblings that go to very conservative, academic institutions and rely on scholarships that look into family history for recommendations, and Sorbet’s mother requires medical attention from reputable doctors that also have homophobic biases that can be used against her. They’ve secretly used some of their money to help a street kid or two that they learned was disowned after being outed or assassinated a few people for hurting kids for being part of the LGBTQ+ community or even preying on them. The two men probably both went through phases where they thought they only liked women, tried to be in heterosexual relationships, and their enemies-to-lovers type of relationship had probably stemmed from their inability to properly process their attraction to each other at the time.

Formaggio is bisexual and prefers using he/him pronouns; he has a stronger attraction to women but is unaware that he’s attracted to men as well. A big part of why he’s so unaware or in denial of it came from his conservative upbringing in a working-class family and lack of representation growing up. Formaggio knew that men can be attracted to other men, but other aspects of the LGBTQ+ community is either unknown to him or seen in a negative perception; he’s learning more about the community and how to be a better ally, especially after meeting Sorbet and Gelato, but he’s still struggling to reverse the anti-LGBTQ+ sentiments he grew up believing. As a result of his past, Formaggio assumed that one can only be attracted to one gender and never crossed his mind that people can be attracted to more than one. He often tries to hide his attraction to men via “straight guy who’s unaware he’s gay occasionally spits homophobic jokes and says ‘no homo’ every time he says "I love you" to his friends but he means full homo” approach.

Illuso is pansexual and gender fluid, preferring he/him/they/them pronouns most of the time but also likes using neo-pronouns and occasionally prefers to use she/her pronouns. As a former intern for a fashion designer before he joined La Squadra, he’s relatively more exposed to meeting different people in the LGBTQ+ community through fashion; those who were higher in status and power would be more out about it than those in lower ranking and the community was a huge source for avant-garde, counter-culture influences. Despite getting more inspiration for his designs from his interactions and developing his identity in the LGBTQ+ space, that also led to him witnessing discrimination, abuse, and powerplay caused by the higher-ups; some became victims simply because of rumors that they may be part of the LGBTQ+ community or being forcibly outed, some are forced into relationships in exchange for opportunities and privileges, etc. He remains closeted and part of his arrogance stems from him hiding his sexuality due to the trauma of enduring the abuse and witnessing it as well. La Squadra doesn’t know his sexuality or know that he’s genderfluid, but they’re fine with adapting to his pronouns whenever they change.  

Pesci is unaware that they’re gay and are non-binary that prefers they/them pronouns. Although they try to stick to he/him pronouns to avoid being out, they like using they/them more and get secretly happy when someone refers to them as such. I head-canon that they’re actually younger than Giorno when they encountered Team Bucciarati, which would explain why he never killed anyone up until this point (they’re a literal kid that’s slowly getting involved in the team when Sorbet and Gelato were killed, albeit they’re on the buffer side despite their age), and with their sheltered childhood and Prosciutto’s strict mentorship, they never got to sit down and think about their sexual and gender identity. They often try to pretend they’re a macho straight man alongside Formaggio but they end up feeling bad about it after trying to say a bad comment or joke to fit in. Pesci themselves feel like they’re alone in terms of the emotions of not being able to put your sexuality into words. It doesn’t help that they’re rather isolated compared to everyone except Risotto; they only knew La Squadra as their family ever since they joined the team and they never talk to anyone outside of the group.

Prosciutto is bisexual and genderfluid, preferring to identify with he/him pronouns, but he’s also the most closeted and probably has the most internalized homophobia as well. Growing up in the entertainment industry, especially in acting, means adhering to heteronormative standards; controversies of any kind would make or break a career and he constantly heard homophobic statements “disguised” as critiques around him from all levels of the entertainment industry. The fact that he was overworked up until his “career retirement” also didn’t give him the time to sit down and realize both his sexuality and how fucked up the film industry is in terms of its treatment towards the LGBTQ+ community. With his upbringing of being presentable and hiding his sexuality, he tries to present himself in the most Italian metrosexual straight machismo man he could and uses his “gentleman charms” towards women to avoid people from questioning further about his sexuality. But at the end of the day, he knows he’s lying to himself about his sexuality. And unfortunately, his anger at being unable to express that is often misdirected.

Melone is demi-sexual, though he presents himself as asexual and panromantic, and prefers using any pronouns. Like his teammates, he prefers using he/him for his safety. As a former scientist, he learned and got to know about the LGBTQ+ community through a more scientific perspective, but also knew there are hidden homophobic biases in the science community as well. Still, he does his best to be an ally for his peers before realizing he is demisexual and panromantic. His sexuality allows him to view the incubation and child-rearing aspect of his Stand without emotions or feelings involved and further explains how he views fornication and training his Juniors in a very scientific and analytical way without guilt taking over. Despite presenting himself as ace/straight (mostly for safety and because it’s easier to explain that he has no attraction to people than being a demisexual), I also see someone who yearns to have a strong emotional connection to someone and would give his all to the person he loves most. His overtly sexual nature is more of an act (I've heard that some aces tend to act overtly sexual, either to avoid being outed or as a result of growing up thinking that need to feel an attraction is necessary) and Melone secretly desires being attracted to someone he learns to trust, admire, and love over time. I have a backstory that plays into that but I might disclose it another time. ;)

Ghiaccio is on the same boat with Prosciutto in terms of having internalized homophobia due to his childhood career as a child athlete. At the time he was training to be an Olympic hopeful as a solo figure skater, Ghiaccio was born female and had to remain in the closet due to the conservative nature of the ice skating world and his step-father being notorious for his opinions favoring homophobia and sexism. Once he joined La Squadra, Ghiaccio began experimenting with himself and ultimately came out as transgender, presenting himself with he/him pronouns, and had been using testosterone ever since. Most members that joined after him only knew Ghiaccio as male while the other members are either indifferent about his gender or are involved in helping Ghiaccio transition to be male. Transitioning also helped him realized he was aromantic and gay, which provided him closure from the years of struggle he had trying to fit into the heteronormative expectations he thought he had to conform to when he was female. The effect of testosterone also explains his brash and short-tempered nature, although that stems more from him finally being able to express himself after years of repressing his emotions as a child.

Risotto is also aromantic and asexual, preferring he/him/they/them pronouns, although he doesn’t know that he is aro/ace, to begin with. Growing up, he never really cared when he heard his older relatives or adults making comments about how “he’d make a good husband” or “have the girls chase him”, because all he cared about was his family and friends. He just assumes that once he becomes a “big boy”, then he’ll have thoughts of wanting to get married like the fairytales say. Just let his future spouse have children with him in any way and he'll play the role of husband regardless. Since his cousin’s death, he gave up the idea of having any sexual or romantic interest in anyone. Why to go out of your way to find any relationship when they’ll be dead soon enough- that was Risotto’s logic. He’s not aware that he can define himself as aro/ace, he just assumes that the trauma he went through with his cousin’s death stops him from feeling any attraction and doesn’t make an effort to figure out why.  

[hsj-scenarios]

“Don’t Call Me Cute”⎜Unprompted⎜Song Inspo: “Wait” by IU

( Note: Soooo, this was the story that I said waaaay back made me laugh while writing. It was originally supposed to be smut, but the story just didn’t go that way in the end. I feel like I lowkey wrote the reader as asexual. But, as I’m not too familiar with asexuality aside from not feeling sexual, I don’t want to assume that and will leave it up in the air. Anyway, here it is! -- Mod L )

“You what?!”

Daiki couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe the words that just came from his lover’s mouth as you looked at him sheepishly. His hands searched for something to lean on. Something, anything. The man just needed something to hold him up due to the crippling astonishment that he was currently feeling. His world just turned upside down.

The two of you stood in the bedroom, the atmosphere getting hot and heavy just a few moments ago. Or, at least, he thought it was until you said what you did.

“You don’t think I’m attractive?” He had to reiterate, eyes wide. “Then why am I your boyfriend?!”

“I didn’t say all that!” You defended yourself. “I said ‘Wow, I never thought of you in this way before’. It just slipped! That doesn’t equate to unattractiveness. I just always think you’re too cute, so the thought never even crossed my mind of us…in that way.”

“And so,” He put emphasis on the last word. “That means you don’t think I’m sexually attractive!”

You gave an exasperated sigh and plopped down on a corner of the bed. “Daichan, you’re taking this way out of proportion. I do think you’re attractive, I just never thought you…sexually. You’re too cute. It was only–”

“Okay, stop saying that.”

“You’re the one who’s asking for clarity!”

He huffed before tilting his head up, eyes closed as he thought over the situation. This was unfair. Just plain unfair. You awoke senses inside of him that he never even knew of so effortlessly. Thinking of you in that way was never not on his mind at least once a day. At least. Now, here you go telling him that it was the complete opposite for you.

Never? You never thought of him like that???

He felt conflicted. If you didn’t feel that way, then you certainly weren’t ready to head to the next level in your relationship. Daiki was ready, more than ready if one judged him by his actions only a few minutes ago.

No, wait, he couldn’t afford to think on that now. He already had one more new problem to deal with.

“I gotta go.” He mumbled, almost inaudible, as he stomped to the bathroom.

“To the bathroom?” You wondered why he had to announce that.

“Yes, to the bathroom!” To visit his old friend, the hand.

The mirror was his best friend at the moment. He’d spend a good while just studying himself up and down after he got out of the shower, towel wrapped securely around his waist. A hand ran over his stomach, feeling the muscles he was currently working on building up. There was a good contour in his upper body already, enough to think he would be considered one of the more muscular members in the group. Too bad his shirts covered it most of the time.

Okay, maybe ‘good’ meant ‘slight’.

Still, there was some definition there. Not all of the members could be an Adonis on earth like their ace had apparently grown to be. Daiki was honestly happy with himself and the way he looked, growing into his own a couple years into the group. Although, perhaps he had grown into the cute character a little too much for his own good. At least, regarding his personal life and how his lover would treat him because of it.

Too cute. He found himself thinking.

The idol groaned internally before leaving the bathroom, full well knowing that he was only clad in a towel. Initially, he thought you had left his bedroom for the living room or even the kitchen, but you were still on the bed. This time laying down and sleeping soundly, looking like an angel in the soft lighting of the room. Only the lamp sitting on the bedside table was lit, and it complimented your facial features.

You looked so innocent, Daiki almost felt guilty for thinking the thoughts he did while in the shower.

He smiled to himself before crawling on the bed beside you, tossing his previous insecurities aside. A soft kiss was placed on your forehead and he took you in his arms gently as to not disturb you too much, pulling your body to his own. He was only afforded a few seconds of comfort, only just closing his eyes, before you stirred in your slumber.

“You’re such a light sleeper.” Daiki teased as you adjusted to the new position.

He didn’t want to move, but he knew you would want to get up and change into your pajamas. Moving away just a bit, he gave way for you to get up. You hadn’t moved, but looked on his with tired eyes before gazing down to his chest. Noticing your stare linger for longer than normal, he peeked down at himself and wondered what was taking your attention.

“What?” He inquired.

The idol was absolutely puzzled before noticing the faint flush of your cheeks and downward turned eyes. The corners of his lips tinged upwards, realizing the cause of your sudden blush and he watched you hurry up from the bed. No way. No way was he letting this opportunity get away.

You had never truly seen his body. Never seen even half of the whole package.

He was quick to speak. “You know, we should really continue what we started earlier.” That stopped you in your tracks. He glanced up at the ceiling innocently, arms raised to lay his head on casually. “Unless, you still see me as ‘too cute’.”

His body was on full display, only the towel covering his lower half.

“Daiki,” He knew when you called him by his full name that you were serious. You turned to face him again, though your eyes were looking elsewhere. “I told you, that just slipped out. I mean, if you actually let me finish my argument,” Another discreet glance was given to his bare skin. “You’d of known that I did feel very…excited…when we were kissing. It made me start to think of you that way.”

You sighed before going back to sit next to him. “What I said earlier probably made you feel insecure, right?”

That, he couldn’t deny; face sobering from it’s previous deviousness. “Well,” He paused, pride almost not wanting to admit it, before nodding. “Yeah, a little. It’s just, I’ve always thought of you in that way, so it was a wake up call to know that you didn’t feel the same. It made me wonder why you agreed to go out with me.”

“I went out with you,” You were quick to say. “Because I love your personality and because I thought you were attractive – in the cute way.” Honestly, it just wasn’t in your character to think lewdly of people that you knew. Your dates with Daiki had all been pretty tame. This was the first in which he initiated such intimacy.

He thought over your words, lips pressed together and it was one of the few times you’d seen Daiki so serious. Casually splayed out on the bed, moments passed before he just smiled and leaned up. An suddenly slung around your waist, pulling you closer as it snaked up your back; pressing you forward so he could steal a quick and playful kiss on your nose.

“I’ll let you go get changed.” He said before scooting back, patting the spot next to him. “See you in bed.” There was no seductive connotation, just a simple statement, and within the next minute he was up and looking for his own pajamas.

You studied him, a bit curious about his change in demeanor.

Didn’t he just want to get it on just two minutes ago?

Noticing your stare, he looked back with a questioning look of his own. The sleeping shirt was half over his head. “What’s up?” He asked, pulling it down.

“You don’t want to...” You paused. “Do anything anymore?”

He stared at you before a chuckle left his mouth, as if the answer were already obvious. Tying the string of his sweatpants, he plopped back down in the bed and leaned on his hands. “Not really,” Honestly, the man was lying through his teeth, but saying otherwise would probably make you feel guilty. “Don’t worry about that. The argument kinda killed the mood anyway, but I see what you’re saying. You just never thought about such things with me before, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t attracted to me. Right?” The smile on his face hadn’t faded, soft and understanding.

Basically, you weren’t ready.

“Yeah...” Still a bit confused from the change, you gave a hesitant nod.

Daiki nodded back, urging you to go on to the bathroom. “Then, I’ll see you in bed!”

You finally gave in and turned, giving a shrug as you went. He could be so puzzling, though you couldn’t say that he was wrong in putting a stop to his plans. Your ears twitched at his next words, however.

“I’ll just show you my cool side more.”

Feet glued to the floor, you processed his words before giving a light laugh. It seemed as if he still didn’t get all of it after all. Sending a glance back his way, you smiled at him.

“You’re already cool, babe.”

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

Slow down! - chapter 1

What on earth is this??? Aish is actually writing heartrate fanfic for once??? And not turning it into a complete mess??? Well today is the birthday of my honourary fandom little sister Elise @colourfulheroes and she challenged me to write heartrate slow burn (don’t ask why, long story), so today seems like a good day to start!! (And also I got my revenge by challenging her to draw Kimax and she did and IT’S REALLY CUTE) (And sorry if this is terrible omg I had like zero motivation or ideas but it’s gonna get cute later on I swear)

And also on AO3 like always

“I bet you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you here today,” Max said to his two classmates standing in front of him. He had dragged them all the way to the airport for this, and neither of them looked very happy about it. They would be even less happy when they found out what this was for, and he knew it.

“Don’t use the word ‘bet’ in front of this idiot unless you’re prepared to face the consequences,” said Alix, pointing a finger in Kim’s direction.

“Don’t be stupid,” Kim snapped. “You know perfectly well that Max is extinct from any of my challenges.”

“Extinct? Are you sure that’s the right word?”

“Whatever! You know what I mean!”

“Anyway,” Max said loudly, stepping between them, “I am going to be on holiday for the entire duration of the summer holidays, and therefore I won’t be around to prevent you two from strangling each other. So in order to save you both from either death or a hefty prison sentence, I am issuing you a challenge. One that will hopefully keep you from committing murder until I get back.”

“If you’re gonna do that ‘who can be quiet for the longest’ thing again then I may as well tell you now that I’m not taking part,” Alix said.

“No, not that. This challenge is something unique. Between now and the eight weeks when I get back, you are going to be doing something rather more intellectual for once.”

“Oh good, ‘cause I’m way smarter than Kim.”

“Will you be quiet and let me finish? Anyway, by the time I get back, I want you two to have written something. A story. It’ll have to be at least 30,000 words. And you can’t just write about anything, either. It’ll have to be…” He took a deep breath, knowing his friends were going to hate this. “…fanfic.”

Kim laughed. “Fanfic? That’s easy. I could write a million words about that dinosaur from Jurassic Park taking over the world and eating everyone. This is gonna be awesome.”

“Actually, you are not going to be writing fanfic about Jurassic Park. You are going to be writing fanfic about real life people. Specifically, this class.”

“Oh, you mean like Nathaniel does?” Alix said. “That’s still easy. He once wrote me a story where I beat up Kim, it was awesome. I could totally do something like that.”

“There are actually even more requirements to this fanfic,” Max said, internally preparing himself for some very aggressive reactions. “It will have to be what they call a ‘slow burn’ fic. You know, a fic about the slow and natural forming of a romantic relationship.”

The reactions followed very quickly. Alix stepped back saying, “Ew ew ew ew ew!” while Kim put his hands on his hips and said, “Max, if you’re trying to get me to learn how to be nice to people or something, there are other ways of doing it!”

“I’ve already made up my mind, you’ll have to do it,” Max said. “Unless you refuse the challenge, in which case the other person will win by default.”

“Fine, I’ll do your stupid challenge,” Alix said, glaring at him. “But I’m gonna write it about Marinette and Adrien. I’m not the only one seeing something between those two, right?”

“Well I’m writing mine about Marinette and Adrien too, so there!” Kim said.

“Actually,” Max said, fully preparing to be punched in the face at any moment, “I’ve already decided who you’re going to be writing about. It’s going to be… well… you two.”

For a few seconds they just stared at him in disbelief. Then, to his immense surprise, Alix burst into laughter. Well, to be fair this was a rather preposterous challenge he was issuing them. It made sense that she would find it absurd enough to laugh at. It was better than being punched, anyway.

“Max, that’s impossible and you know it!” she said. “For starters, I’m actually asexual, so–”

“I know perfectly well that you’re ace, considering you make puns about it an average of 3.5 times per hour. But that doesn’t mean you can’t like someone, does it? Anyway, all that matters is that you two have to be in a proper, willing, romantic relationship by the end of the fic. It doesn’t mean you have to be 100% in love or that you have to write smut or anything. You’ll just have to be creative.”

“This is stupid!” Kim whined. “Why would I ever even think of… you know… ugh, no! She’s so tiny and annoying and weird!”

“And she can also hear you perfectly well,” Alix said, stepping around Max and hitting Kim in the arm. “But for once you have a point. Max, this is impossible. Unless these fics end up ridiculously out of character.”

“I wouldn’t suggest doing that,” Max said. “At the end of the eight weeks, I will read both fics and be judging on how well-written they are, how in-character they are, and how realistically the relationship has developed. And please keep it T-rated at most. I don’t want to have to pour bleach into my eyes.”

“But Maaaaaax!” Kim pulled on his shirt sleeve. “Why are you even doing this?”

“I’m hoping it’ll teach you two the long-lost art of getting along with people in a polite, civil manner. And if you’re working on a non-violent challenge all summer, with all your annoyance directed at me rather than each other, then you might actually not kill each other. It would be nice.”

“Well I’m not talking to her all summer then, that’s for sure.”

“Oh, and another thing,” Max said, wondering if this would be the final straw that would get him punched after all. “I’m sick of you two constantly being at each other’s throats at school too, so you’ll have to learn to tolerate each other by the time I get back. Meet up once a week and show each other your progress on your stories. That way you can also make sure that the fics you’re writing won’t end up too similar. I’d like a bit of variety to read through, thank you.”

There was another silence for a few seconds. Then he quickly stepped away when he saw Alix curling up a fist.

“You know, Max, you’d better hurry up and get on that aeroplane before I commission Nath to write a fic about your tragic death…”

“And you’d better not have any more rules for this challenge!” Kim added, folding his arms. “Honestly, if I stop considering you my best friend after this then that’s completely your fault!”

Max shrugged. “Hey – you can always just refuse the challenge, that’s still an option.”

“I never forfeit a challenge!”

“And I’m not surrendering to this idiot!”

That had been just what he expected to hear. He picked up his luggage and started walking off. “Good luck then, and see you in eight weeks!”

The furious expressions on his friends’ faces as he left caused him to wonder if he was even doing the right thing. Or if this would even work! But he had to try. Those two being rivals was just constantly giving him a headache. They needed to learn to get along somehow, so why not this? Hopefully this wouldn’t backfire terribly.

Kim sat at his computer desk with a blank document open in front of him, thinking hard. What was he even supposed to write? He had never been good at creative writing. The only things he liked to write about were action stories, where people were going on adventures and fighting aliens or whatever. Not some stupid sappy love story about himself and the only girl in his class he would never consider in a million years!

But this was a challenge, wasn’t it? If there was one thing Kim was good at, it was winning challenges. Okay, so he had never actually won a challenge against Alix before. But there was always a first time for everything. This time he would actually try hard, and actually win. He was best friends with Max, the cleverest guy in school, so surely that intelligence must have rubbed off on him. This couldn’t be too difficult.

He typed a few words.

Once upon a time…

Now what? He was already stuck. His brain kept reminding him of all the cool things he could be doing right now – going to play basketball with Adrien, going to Marinette’s bakery and playing video games with her, going for a run, anything! Even doing homework was better than this! Why should he waste his time on something so stupid? He wasn’t like Nathaniel, he didn’t enjoy this kind of thing!

Wait… Nathaniel! Of course! That guy was an expert at writing stories about the class. He was always being creative – drawing little comics, writing drabbles, all that sort of thing. It would be easy for him.

Would getting his help be considered cheating? Well, Kim didn’t care. It wasn’t like anyone would find out. At least this way it was a win-win situation. Nath would get to have fun writing more fanfic, Kim would have time to do whatever he wanted and only have to meet up with the tiny pink goblin once a week, and he would probably end up winning the challenge. Perfect!

He picked up his phone and called Nath’s number. Luckily he still had it after having to do a class project with him one time.

“Hello?”

Nath’s voice was always so quiet and hesitant. Kim just didn’t understand how anyone could be like that. Wasn’t it more fun to be loud?

“Nath, I need your help with something,” he said. “Something really stupid and weird, but uh… basically, I want to commission you to write a fanfic.”

He could almost hear Nath smiling on the other end. “A fanfic? Okay, I’m listening…”

Alix, too, was sitting in front of an empty computer document, banging her head against the screen. Was she going to get akumatized again? Hopefully. That would be way better than this.

Honestly, if Max wanted her to get along with Kim, there were better ways to do it! He could have just dared them to be friends with each other. That would work. Maybe that way Kim would stop being an annoying jerk to her all the time. Why was he like that, anyway? He was probably just jealous at her for always beating him at his own challenges.

Well, she would beat him at this one too, no matter how stupid it was. Now she just had to get her brain to come up with ideas!

There was once a really stupid guy called Kim, and he for some reason fell in love with the coolest girl in his class, and she dated him for like one day. The end.

No, that wasn’t 30,000 words. And it wasn’t exactly “slow burn”, either. Ugh, she just hated writing stupid romantic nonsense!

Okay, so being ace didn’t mean she didn’t get attached to people. Of course she did. And if she was attached enough to someone that she would willingly jump into a volcano for them, then dating them was no problem. It would make them happy and she’d get to hang out with them more – where was the downside? If she liked someone enough then she would do it, even if stupid lovey-dovey stuff was not her thing.

But just not Kim, of all people! Couldn’t it have been anyone else in the class? Anyone at all? Even Chloé? Kim was just the worst! He was so annoying! Always picking on her, always challenging her to more of his idiotic dares and then being a sore loser when he inevitably lost…

She just couldn’t think of any good things about him at all, no matter how hard she tried. In that case, how was she supposed to write a fic where she actually ended up liking him? It was impossible with a guy that horrible! She needed to get someone’s help with this. But who?

Marinette? No, Marinette was friends with Kim, she would tell him that Alix was totally planning to cheat on this challenge, and that would be humiliating. Adrien? No way, Adrien was far too busy with all the stuff his father was making him do. Juleka? Rose? Both of them were just a little too sappy. Alix did not want to have to gouge out her eyes after reading the fic.

What about Lila? Lila was always making up stories about her life, things that seemed a tiny bit far-fetched but mostly believable. That was just perfect! A slightly far-fetched but still in-character story was exactly what was needed.

Alix picked up her phone and sent Lila a message.

Hey, can we meet up at some point? I need to ask you a favour.

Lila always kept her phone on her to keep in touch with all her adoring fans, so the reply arrived quickly.

Of course! What did you need me to do? :)

How to put this? Something like ‘Well you’re a liar so you’ll be good at writing cheesy fanfic’ would not be tactful. She’d have to be a bit more subtle.

I need your creativity to help me out with a challenge. You’re pretty much the only one who can help.

There, that was better! And Lila seemed to think so too.

Sure, I’ll help you, whatever it is! This reminds me of that time I helped Jagged Stone write a hit single. Let me know when you want to meet up!

The Jagged Stone thing was almost certainly a lie. But then again, that was a good thing. Lies and creativity were just what Alix needed right now. Maybe she would win this challenge after all!