#and here I am... every evening... barely being able to stay awake hahaha

[abigailht]

.

[datleggy]

A Whopper Fic

Eddie invites Bosko out on a rare night off, for drinks. "Apology drinks," he reassures her, "For being such a crappy friend, before."

They start the night off drinking beers and playing pool in a seedy little bar downtown and inevitably when Lena orders a shot of tequila and downs it like it's water, Eddie says, "Jesus, how can you still drink that stuff?" He hasn't done tequila shots since his early twenties, which is just fine with him.  

She calls him a baby for drinking lite beer, "C'mon Diaz, neither of us have work tomorrow, your kid's at your aunt's place for the night, live a little, a couple of shots won't kill you, you know."

Which is how they end up getting trashed, just absolutely irrevocably shit faced at nearly three AM on a Monday, of all days, in a twenty four hour Burger King by the bar that closed and consequently kicked them out not ten minutes ago.

"Machines are down right now, sorry," the cashier says, when Eddie tries to order a meal, "Cash only."

Eddie drunkenly stumbles to the side, raising a 'wait' finger as he empties the contents of his pockets onto a small table. "Shit." he mutters. He doesn't have any cash on him, only his debit card, and if he weren't so drunk, he'd have noticed that there's a functioning ATM right outside. Instead, he gathers up the measly coins on the table and counts. "I have twenty eight cents. Is that enough?"

Lena snorts, "Enough for what?"

Eddie whines, "I just really want a whopper."

The other firefighter grins, wide. "Hey, I'll getcha a whopper," she says, leaning against the table for balance, god, she's drunk. "But only if you fake break up with your boyfriend." she dares him, surprised when Eddie doesn't even hesitate.

The screen is a blur, so it's a good thing he's got Buck on speed dial or he's not sure he would've been able to make the call. It rings only once before Buck answers it, sounding not entirely awake, but definitely alarmed. "Eddie? What's wrong? Are you ok?"

"Buuuuck!" Eddie's so happy to hear his voice. He loves Buck's voice. "Hey." Lena is giggling next to him, like a middle-schooler, nudging at him.

Buck sighs on the other end, though when he speaks it's with a begrudging fondness, "Eddie, are you drunk? It's like three in the morning."

"Nooooo." Eddie laughs. "No, no, m'not drunk, I just, I needed to tell you something."

"Uh huh. What is it?" comes the deadpan reply.

"I forgot. Wait," Eddie turns to Bosko and not so quietly whispers at her, "What was I supposed to do again?" he waits for her response, which Buck can just barely make out through the phone, and then says, "Oh ok, ok, Buck, Buck, you there?"

"Yeah bud, I'm here," Buck yawns. He's got work in a few hours, he should really hang up and get back to sleep already, but he doesn't think he's ever heard Eddie this intoxicated before, and he kind of wants to see how this plays out.

"We gotta break up." Eddie blurts out. "I'm sorry, I'm still really in love with you though, I swear. But Bosko has my whopper."

Buck stares at his phone for half a second, "Uh, ok, well, we're---we're not dating?" Why is he even trying to reason with a drunk person? "Anyway, is Bosko at least more sober than you? How are you two getting home?"

Eddie sounds like he's chewing on something when he says, "No, hahaha, she is---she just tripped on her way to the bathroom and face planted. I wish I caught it on video but every time I look at my screen it's just like, super blurry Buck."

Buck sighs. "Where are you guys? I'll come pick you up."

"Burger King!" Eddie sounds like a kid who raised his hand in class and shouted the answer to a question correctly before being picked on by the teacher.

"Which one?"

"It's got, it's got like, the, that creepy life size inflatable thing outside?"

Buck chuckles. "Oh, that one. Gotcha. Alright. I'll be there in fifteen, maybe twenty minutes, please stay put, ok? Both of you."

"Ok. Love you, bye."

Buck doesn't have time to come up with a retort to that before Eddie hangs up. And he certainly doesn't have time to lay in bed and question any of that conversation, either.

                                            ---------------------------------

Traffic is none existent, fortunately, and Buck's Jeep is parked outside of the Burger King in under the allotted time. Eddie and Lena are sitting on the curb when he arrives. "It's Buck! Buck! See, I told you he was coming." Eddie exclaims, with a told you so attitude.

Buck makes them both sit in the back and buckles them into their seats. "But I called shotgun!" Bosko complains, folding her arms over her chest.

"No, I did!" Eddie whines.

"Well I don't want either of you barfing in my front seat, so suck it up." Buck starts his car after getting Lena's address and putting the coordinates into his GPS.

"So, so---" Lena hiccups. "Is this the first time you've had to pick your boyfriend up from," she pauses to laugh, "From a Burger King, at three AM?"

Buck raises both eyebrows. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Wait, what?" Lena quints. "Wait, you guys aren't dating? Seriously?"

Eddie leans forward, his hot breath on the back of Buck's neck. "Wait yeah, why not?" he asks, almost pitifully.

Thankfully they're rolling up to a red light, because it gives Buck the opportunity to turn around and gently shove Eddie back into his seat and make sure his seat belt is still secured. "Well, for one, now I know you'd break up with me for a whopper." He turns back around when the light turns green and drives. "And I'm the one who should be asking the questions here, what are you doing out this late? And where's Christopher, doesn't he have school in a few hours. It's Monday."

Eddie pouts. "Chris is with my Tia Peppa. And hey, it was a fake breakup! I was hungry."

Bosko starts cackling. "Ok, are you guys sure you're not together, though? Because, Buckley, you're like, all this guy talked about when I was at your station. And, and remember that time---we were at the grocery store? Diaz was all 'hey you deadbeat baby daddy, our kid misses you!'? If you two aren't dating what was that all about?"

Eddie groans, turning a bright red and tries to hide his face behind his hands.

Buck can only thank the lord that they've finally reached their first destination of the night. "Alright, c'mon," he helps Lena out, steadying her when she sways. Buck points a finger at Eddie, "Stay. I'll be right back. And don't touch anything."

Buck makes sure Lena gets inside safe and sound, and even grabs a bottle of water out of her fridge and makes her drink at least a third before leaving her to her own devices.

Eddie's asleep in the backseat by the time Buck returns, and remains that way the rest of the ride back to Buck's loft. He'd take Eddie to his place, but it's nearing four now and Buck just wants to go back to sleep in his own bed for a couple of more hours before his shift in the morning. Eddie can take his couch for tonight, he decides.

                                            ------------------------------------

It's impossible to get Eddie to wake up once they're in his driveway, at least, not fully. Buck has to practically carry Eddie inside, what with his feet dragging behind him. "God, Eddie." Buck huffs out, "You're lucky I lift weights, you're not exactly light."

Getting Eddie into the loft and then across his kitchen and living room and finally laying him down on his sofa takes forever, because Eddie insists that they need to stop by the kitchen for some strawberry milk. "I know you have some of that Nesquick powder stuff!" he groggily complains, even as Buck unceremoniously tosses him onto the couch.

Buck makes Eddie sit up just enough so that he can help him gulp down a bottle of Gatorade. "Trust me, you'll want electrolytes tomorrow morning way more than you want strawberry milk right now, bud." he assures him, getting up to fetch him some covers. 

Eddie curls up on his side, snuggling into the blanket Buck wraps around him, and sighs contentedly. "Buck you're the best."

"If I'm late tomorrow I'm telling Bobby it was all your fault." Buck is finding it very hard not to think of Eddie right now as endearing, hair all tousled back like that, big brown eyes staring up at him. He bends down so that he's not hovering over him anymore and adjusts one of the throw pillows so that it's actually under Eddie's head and not just to the side of it.

"Buck, I mean it." Eddie blinks at him. "You're the best. I love you so much. We should---" he stops to admire Buck for a moment, "You're so pretty, Buck, we should, we should be boyfriends."

Buck rolls his eyes, though he can't help the dopey smile on his face. "Ask me again when you're sober."

"Ok. And then we can be boyfriends?"

Buck shrugs, still smiling. "Only if you promise not to trade me for another whopper. Now go to sleep."

[greasygyeom]

Title: Blame it on Me [Part II: Where Do We Go From Here?]

By: GreasyGyeom

Summary: what is someone supposed to do when they have to choose between the love of their life and the career of their dreams.

Word Count: 9.2k

Yugyeom x Reader / Angst, smut (kinda)..more angst. (i use noona but just pretend it’s y/n)

Warnings: Mature content please read only if 18+

Author’s Note: i am back after two weeks this is a character development guys. hope you like part II !! if you do leave an ask or write in your tags. i love hearing from you guys! tell me if it made you feel something. if there’s spelling errors, let me know hahaha. love you guys and thank you for reading.

Read Part I here

Your night burnt by slowly, filled with explanations and fake acceptances of congratulations that everyone showered you with; that you had no interest in. The only reason you stayed awake was because you were hoping Yugyeom would actually come back. Little did you know he’d been so drunk BamBam had to let him pass out on the couch and keep a bucket right next to him; because if drinking had taught him anything, the amount Yugyeom had, he was bound to throw up. 

You, poetically so, had also passed out on the couch. It was hard to believe that in the afternoon you were in a relationship, getting fucked out of your mind and by night you were single, bawling in your living room.

Still, he had to come back at some point, it was his house after all. How was he going to go to work without his clothes? BamBam for sure wasn’t going to let him stretch out his T-shirts.

Hanging onto that hope, you prepared breakfast in the morning, which unfortunately sat out cold until noon, while you face timed your best friend and let out all your pent up emotions.

She advised you to not hang onto the hope of him wanting to be with you for a few days extra. It wasn’t fair to him, because everything said and done, you were leaving. If there was a way around it, you would have done everything within your control to get that promotion without the transfer. Unfortunately the path you were going to take had been set in stone by your company. There was no space for any alterations left.

You didn’t want this to happen but really, what else were you expecting. This was never going to have a happy ending from the start.

Last week you’d wanted him to act like a douchebag so you could be bitter and cop out of being hurt over having to break up with the best guy you’d ever known. 

You finally understood why ‘be careful what you wish for’ was such a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

After your long distance chat, begrudgingly you got dressed for the office; even though you didn’t have to really go officially—you were off until you started at London next Friday—there was some paperwork that needed your signature. You wanted to get it over with so as to spend the next few days peacefully crying in bed.

Half-heartedly walking to the train station, you wondered if you’d even crossed Yugyeom’s mind since yesterday.

Maybe it was a bit selfish, but you wanted to know if he was thinking about you; or was it just you that was miserable.

He was.

Of course he was.

While he chugged a bottle of water, because his mouth felt like sandpaper, all he could worry about was how you were going to pack all your belongings in such a short amount of time, without forgetting the most important stuff; and how he was going to not lose his sanity over it. 

Ominously so, life had come such a full circle for him; because had your colleague not been a student at the academy, he would have never met you.

The work-life that brought you to him, ultimately took you away too. 

Funny how the universe works, right?

He’d drank so much alcohol the previous night in hopes of forgetting you that even an hour without your face swimming in his head would have been worth it. Yet, all night all he lamented about was how unfair it was that he was going to have to let you go.

His friend circle–that over time had also become your friend circle–had been made aware of the whole ordeal, so they knew what to expect. They were just surprised by the magnanimity of it. 

Yugyeom had never been heartbroken—at least to this extent. In the 10+ years of knowing him, he’d never expressed so many emotions in such little time to any of his friends. It was like witnessing a compressed pack of cocaine burst under high pressure; messy and not a good look for anyone.

When he woke up he already had a text from Jaebeom very sternly asking him to not come in to work until he got his shit together, several texts from Mark asking how he was feeling and to start hydrating his body immediately, and a whole essay from Jackson on how he should drop his tough guy act and be with you till it was time to go. 

He hated being called out like that.

Yugyeom: Hyung you’re supposed to be my friend and tell me I should forget her immediately. His text elicited an immediate response. 

Jackson: Listen you brat. I’m your friend that’s why I’m asking you to spend the last few days she is here with her. Because I know you and you’re going to regret this later.

Yugyeom: Tell me, how does it matter if she’s out of my life today or after five days?

Jackson: You won’t even try to stay in touch?

Yugyeom: No.

Jackson: Is that a mutual decision?

Yugyeom stopped replying after that, because now that he was sober, he was back to not being able to aptly express his feelings and he actually didn’t know the answer to that question. 

He’d thought about this so much yesterday, while in bed next to you. There was no expiration date on your time in London, there wasn’t even any guarantee that after London you’d come back—you could get transferred to anywhere in the world. That particular uncertainty had torn his heart into smithereens and had led him to end the relationship so abruptly. 

It had seemed logical yesterday.

Today? not so much.

You’d zoned out staring at a travel bag while window shopping. After your work was done you thought of giving retail therapy a shot, an endeavour that was proving to be extremely unsuccessful, for the lack of focus you were carrying with you.

A loud, screeching, honking bus on the road snapped you back to reality, but not really. You were still dazed and confused and within seconds wanted to go back home, wondering why you thought this was a good idea in the first place. 

You did buy three pastries and a venti on your way though, to devour your feelings once home. To discover that you’d forgotten how you lived life before Yugyeom and not understand how to combat it, was definitely taking a toll on you. The concept of being without him seemed so outlandish, it felt like a distant dream you might have had in your childhood. For now, until you found a way out of this maze, unhealthy coping mechanisms would have to do.

Truth be told, you were itching to call him. When it came to him, your ego was barely existent.

You were still plenty mad and wanted him to realise how stupid he was for not taking you up on the offer last night, of course, but you also wanted hear his voice equally badly, at the cost of him being unwilling to entertain you.

You had been postponing your urge every hour, since morning, because this time around you were reluctant to lose this battle; even though you’d already lost the war.

At 9am it was ‘Wait for another hour, maybe he’ll turn up.’ At 10am it became ‘Maybe I’ll stop by the studio’– but that was too much effort (and you were in no mood to face Jaebeom). When you were leaving for work, you baited yourself by saying you’ll call him after you were done at the office and currently you were convincing yourself to wait till you reached back home, so that at least when he ignored your calls, you could cry into a cup of tiramisu and feel better about it.

That thought was more comforting than it needed to be.

This awkwardness of not being able to wiggle your way into his life this time, was eating you inside, honestly. It’s not that you’d never had disagreements and fights before, where he’d left for Bam’s because he was too frustrated to even talk to you—in spite of him indulging his anger to a bare minimum, there had been plenty of those. But this was the only one time where saying sorry and promising to buy him chocoshakes for a week wasn’t going to cut it.

Along your route home, you bought more food—a full loaf of strawberry bread from the train station, some chips and a sandwich at the convenience store, a slice from the pizzeria nearby and finally your favourite fried chicken. Clearly, you had a lot of feelings to chew through and some days of solitude to chew them.

You hadn’t anticipated the struggle to get your apartment door to open, with all those packets hanging on your arms, trying not to spill any of the contents. What you also didn't anticipate was Yugyeom opening the door from inside, asking you to hand over some of the things you were holding.

You felt your system shut down like windows 98 being attacked by a trojan.

Was this real? Was this a delusion and you'd really just dropped everything on the floor? 

“Yu….gyeom?” You called out, afraid of not actually hearing an answer.

“Why are you still standing outside, noona?”

“Oh-uhm-I….” you fumbled, before closing the door. “This.. is-uh?? Hmm-what-what are you… doing here?”

“Honestly? I don’t know.” He replied curtly.

You furrowed your brows accompanying it with frown lines on your forehead, indicative of the confusion you were unable to convey verbally. 

However, you chose not to question him further, not wanting to go wherever that interrogation would have taken you. You were more than content to see him move around at close proximity, even if it was in silence. 

There were plenty of places he could have gone, really, he didn’t have to be there if he didn’t want to; but he did want to. Oh god he’d wanted to see you so badly. More so than the hangover, it was a bizarre feeling in his chest, from the way he’d behaved with you last night, that had caused him discomfort all morning. That and Jackson’s messages. 

Was he really not even going to try to keep in touch? But then….. who likes to stay in touch with an ex? 

“Want some cake?” you asked, in an effort to dissipate the elephant in the room. “Or some other food? Pizza? You look like shit, you should probably eat something greasy.”

“You went and bought the whole shop didn’t you?” he raised his eyebrow. 

“I… did not. I was….. craving a lot of things.”

“You know, the only times you’ve bought so much food is when you’re sad about us fighting over something.”

“Well—I am sad,” you paused, “and we are fighting ... and this one seems to be the last one.”

“For now” he added and then immediately retracted his statement 

“I’m...I don’t know why I said that. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Yugyeom... baby,”

When did you even get close enough to do that, he wondered, as you cupped his face.

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, you know?”

He put his arms around your waist and pulled you into a tender hug, because if he looked into your eyes any deeper he would have either kissed you or teared up; and neither was a good option to choose from.

“Noona will you promise me something?” he then asked, his words heavy and morose.

“Hmm?”

“Please try your best to forget me.”

You weren’t expecting that sentence to knock the wind out of your lungs, because you weren’t expecting to hear that sentence at all.

You broke away from him, tears accumulating against your will. 

“Did you come here to hurt me, Yugyeom?”

It felt like a sword was now ominously hung above your head, when you looked at him; and it could fall at any moment and sever your head.

“Don’t take this the wrong way. I just…. I don’t know. Don’t hold onto some irrational hope or something. That’s all I meant.”

“Irrational hope? Really, of what? Getting back together someday? You wanna get rid of me and move on so fast that you want me to forget you? Is that it?”

“Don’t twist my words. That’s not what I meant. You know that’s not what I meant.”

“You think I don’t understand that this is the end for us?”

“Just ... leave it, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Yeah you shouldn’t have.”

“But I don’t want to be the reason you hold yourself back in London. That’s all.” He yielded, not wanting to make matters any worse.

“You know what…. I was wrong to think it would be a good idea to pretend like nothing’s changed until I get on the plane. You win.” 

The anger in your tone and your deadpan face made it very clear that you were not interested in holding a conversation about this, any further. “I’m gonna go start collecting my stuff. I should be out of your apartment and your life, by tomorrow evening.”

Before Yugyeom could react, you slammed the bedroom door shut and locked yourself inside.

One second later he was banging on the door frantically.

“Noona! Come on, open the door please.

Please, baby!”

He must have stood there trying to rotate the knob, begging you to let him inside, for at least fifteen minutes before giving up and sliding onto the floor.

This was turning out to be worse than his worst nightmare.

If he knew you at all, he knew you would want to come out to smoke soon. So he sat by the door, getting annoyed at himself for saying that and at you for taking it out of context.

Before coming here, he’d asked for Jinyoung’s opinion on whether this was a good idea or not; and Jinyoung had replied asking him to not do anything foolish. He had assumed Jinyoung meant going to his house to meet you was the foolish act. Dejectedly, he typed a text.

Yugyeom: Well…. I should have listened to you. I went to see her and you were right, it was a bad idea.

Jinyoung: when did I say that was a bad idea?

Yugyeom: you said not to do anything stupid

Jinyoung: yeah, I meant don’t go there and mess it up. I didn’t mean don’t go there at all. What did you do?

Yugyeom: oh…. nothing. 

Jinyoung: I can call her and ask.

Yugyeom: No! Fuck. please don’t do that. She’s already pissed at me.

Jinyoung: what did you do

Yugyeom: I asked her to move on

Jinyoung: huh?

Yugyeom: I don’t want her to get hung up on me and us and the maybes and what ifs when she's there. Because I know she will.

Jinyoung: and what about you? Are you going to try your best to forget her?

Yugyeom paused and stared at that question for a few minutes. No…. of course not, how could he want to forget you or anything about you. Even if every memory attached to you dug into his organs like shards of glass, he’d gladly take them all to his grave. 

Yugyeom: she doesn’t need to know if I do it or not.

Jinyoung: I’m glad God gave you the gift of dance because clearly intelligence and common sense are completely lost on you. 

Yugyeom: hyung i'm really not in the mood to be insulted right now.

Jinyoung: Jackson asked you to drop your tough guy act didn’t he? She doesn’t need you to protect her. She’s never needed anyone to protect her from anything. You should stop trying to save her from whatever it is that you think you’re saving her from.

Yugyeom: I’m not trying to do anything. I don’t want her to regret going to London.

Jinyoung: How is asking to forget you a solution to that? Say hypothetically she does forget you. In a years time she doesn’t give a fuck about what you meant to her. She meets someone else and starts dating, maybe even gets engaged. Would that make you happy?

Yugyeom: No. But she’ll be happy. 

Jinyoung: that’s your problem. You’re assuming that forgetting you and finding a new life would make her happy. 

Yugyeom: Well won’t it? Idk I just don’t want her to be hung up on us and if she gets stuck on it, I don’t think she will be. 

Jinyoung: You just said you don’t wanna move on so then why the fuck are you forcing it on her?

Yugyeom: hyung she doesn’t need to know how miserable I am. Without knowing that whenever she sees me she apologises to me. if she gets to know how much I want her to stay I’m scared she’ll turn down the promotion. She’s already thought about not going.

Jinyoung: let her make her own decisions? Right now you’re lying to her. I’m 95% sure she’s pissed because you’re trying to act unfazed by all of this.

Jinyoung: Just this one time, try to not bottle up how you’re feeling.

Jinyoung: tell her you have no interest in moving on. Be honest, man.

Jinyoung: and just saying, asking the ‘love of your life’, who calls you ‘the love of her life’, to forget you after 12 hours of breaking up is a shitty thing to do. She should have kicked you in the balls. 

He typed up a stingy reply to that but, before he could send it, the sound of you unbolting the door from inside distracted him. Hurriedly, he stood up, to catch hold of you. 

“Yugyeom, leave me alone. You got what you wanted?”, you spoke frostily.

“Are you going to smoke?”

“Are you going to stop me?”

“No.. But I wish you’d hear me out. Let me say my piece and if you’re still pissed, I’ll leave. I promise.”

After opening the window sill and lighting your cigarette, you waited for him to start. Your face was red and hurting from crying so incessantly, but you were determined to not let your emotions get the best of you, in front of him. At least, not right now. 

“When I asked you to forget me, I didn’t mean… you know, erase me from your memory or whatever. I meant give yourself a proper chance at happiness, when you’re there.”

You gave him no expressions.

“Like… I’m not dying to move on. This is killing me. I don't want us to come to an end. I even thought of giving long distance another shot… or like you know….maybe just keep in touch. But every time I thought about it, it was too painful. So I couldn’t ask you to do that because I…. didn’t wanna do that.” 

Saying that out loud made him realise how selfish he sounded. He continued his monologue when you wordlessly stood still and puffed away.

“I wanted to pretend like this isn’t hurting me, but I’m so miserable, noona. I don’t know how to live without you. I don’t even want to know how to live without you. But, I want you to live your life without me; which is hypocritical, I guess, but that’s why I asked you to forget me.”

“That’s really fucking unfair.” you interrupted. “You’re planning things for me without asking what I want. That’s not how it works. If I want to move on or not, is my decision. If I want to be miserable over you or not, is my decision. If I want to live my best life in London or not, again, is my decision. I have never loved anyone like I’ve loved you, Yugyeom; so what you asked of me was just cruel. I know I want to live in a fantasy until I have no option but to accept the outcome. I know it’s not a good way to deal with things. How could you even think  that forgetting you would ever be an option?

“I’m sorry” he pursed his lips and looked at the floor.

“When I said we have five more days, I wanted to play pretend. I was just trying to live in this denial bit longer. 

“Then… can I live in that denial with you?”

“No, I’m sorry, I gotta pack and hand over the house to the owner by tomorrow.”

“I’m sure the owner will understand if you’re delayed by a day or two or four.”

“I’m tired of running around in circles with you man”, you sighed. “No matter how this turns out, I will never not love you. Maybe in ten years time you’ll be with some other girl and I’ll be with some other dude, even then I will probably, in some capacity, still love you. And I get it if you don’t want to feel the same way, you don’t have to. But don’t ask me not to.”

“Thinking about you with someone else really fucking hurts.” he admitted, feeling a knot tighten in his throat.

“It hurts me too but you’re the one so fucking adamant about moving on like it’s gonna happen in 2 days.”

“Are you still angry?”

“Yeah, of course... but I can let it slide if you promise to forget about me.” 

“Haha very funny.”

You chuckled and he wasted no time in giving you a kiss on the forehead.

“The only thing I can promise you is that I’ll love you till I die.”

“No one is dying, baby.”

“Without you, I just might.”

“Jaebeom won’t let that happen, you’re the second reason his studio has clients.”

“What’s the first?”

“Jaebeom, obviously.”

Yugyeom rolled his eyes at you. “He’s going to have to be the only reason, till next week because I’m stuck to you till you get on that plane.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I’m not letting you leave that room for the next 100 hours, starting now.”

He didn’t give you much time to process his words, as he picked you up to take you into the bedroom. You tried to fake-protest to the best of your capabilities, but truth be told there was no better feeling than hiding your face in the crook of his neck; while he effortlessly carried you in.

Making his intentions for the night perfectly clear, he took off his shirt.

“Wait-wait-wait!” you yelped, pinned under his lithe form. “All the food is on the table, I'll be damned if that Tiramisu goes to waste. I’ll be back in five.”

“Make it three.”

“Okay baby.”

Then you kissed him on the nose and ran out.

Since your last reconciliation, you'd spent most of your time in bed, mostly without clothes, wrapped in Yugyeom’s arms; savouring every kiss, every touch, trying to save these ending moments in your memory, so you could replay them over and over again at the end of this week when all this would inevitably be over. Your departure was three days away and the fact that you were still unpacked was beginning to weigh down on you heavily. You were at a point where you couldn’t really avoid it any more; even though it was antithetical to the denial you’d built your cozy house in.

As much anxiety you had regarding leaving and not wanting to deal with that, there was an equal amount of anxiety related to not being prepared ahead of time. It was a lose-lose situation either way, with consequences that weren’t susceptible to change. So, you decided to rip the bandaid completely, to avoid running around like a headless chicken at the last minute.

You didn’t have to deal with the furniture, at least, because even though some of it was bought together, Yugyeom owned the apartment. You just had to sort through your clothes and products.

He wasn't the most excited at the thought of seeing you empty out the house. 

“Do you know your living situation in London?” he asked, trying to hold up a conversation.

“Yeah…they’re giving me a furnished apartment as part of the deal.”

“Wait no rent?”

“Uh-huh”

“Woah that’s amazing.” The lack of excitement completely contradicted his statement. “And who’s gonna help you set up and stuff? Won’t you need help?”

“Uhm... mum’s already gonna be there when I land. Not at the apartment, obviously, but…. in London.”

“Aah. Ok ok. It’ll be good, you haven’t seen your parents in a long time”

“Hmm I guess.”

“And your visas and shit?”

“Yeah my passport’s with the company, they’ll sort it all out and hand it to me on the day of the flight.”A

Yugyeom felt like he’d accidentally stepped on an emotional land mine. 

He was already gutted about seeing his closet empty, and now hearing your monotone voice just upset him even further. But he didn’t want to show how sad this was making him either, because then you would probably cry.

It was really frustrating.

He quickly made up an excuse to leave for a bit. “Is it okay if I go to the studio, Jaebeom hyung needs me to sort through some assessments. But if you need me to stay, I’ll tell him something.”

”No, it’s okay. I have to face time Ishi anyway. I haven't spoken to her in a hot minute. And Jae has been more than patient this past week. I’ll try to be done soon too. It’ll probably take me 4-5 hours.”

Oh.

 “I’ll definitely be back by then.”

“Or… maybe I can meet you at the station and we can go to Naksan?”

He gave you an affirmative forced grin, kissed you on the forehead and headed to the studio to redirect all the aggression he was so suddenly full of.

Just knowing that you’d be leaving a giant gaping hole in his life, was driving him nuts. He wasn’t sure if he could keep up his end of the bargain any longer. You at least would get to start over a new life, in a new place with new faces. But he was going to have to pick up pieces of his life that he knew you were about to leave behind shattered; and never look back at 

Your fragrance lingered in every corner of his apartment. His bathroom smelt like your shampoo, his closet smelt like your body spray and cigarettes, his bed.… how was he ever going to exorcise your memories out of his bed? His king size bed that had not seen a dip on the right side up until you had waltzed into his life. Everything was going to remind him of you. His favourite restaurants, clubs, hideaways—it was overwhelming him. 

“Aah fuck” he mumbled to himself, absent-mindedly walking into the studio - much to Jaebeom’s surprise.

“I thought you weren’t coming in?”

“She’s packing. I’ll break something if I have to sit through it.”

“Don’t break anything here.”

“Maybe my bones.”

“The third room is empty.”

He was barely going to be able to concentrate on whatever choreography he was going to try, but he acknowledged Jaebeom and locked himself inside.

Jaebeom also felt rather incompetent to handle the situation, since he’d never seen this volatile and mostly upset side of Yugyeom. So he just let the kid do whatever he wanted to. No one knows what to do until you actually start doing it, right? Jinyoung would probably disapprove of this philosophy, but he wasn’t there to voice his objections, so too bad!

When dancing, Yugyeom barely ever understood the concept of time, so between choosing a song, researching some new styles, to mentally animating the possible formations, 4 hours flew by. He yelped and hurriedly ran to his phone, hoping he wasn’t already late.

You sighed heavily at the other end of the call “no... I’m still working through the pile. It’s probably going to take me two hours more.”

“It’ll be too dark to go to Naksan then.”

“Yeah…. I guess. Just come home?”

“It’ll take me some more time at the studio though.”

“That’s okay, take your time. It’s a mess here anyway.”

“Hmm… I’ll see you later then, noona.”

And he went back to focusing on perfecting the new moves, even harder than before, because otherwise your voice would keep ringing in his ears. He could hear how disheartened you already sounded and he wanted to be there for you, but he had to take care of his own feelings first, before he could take care of yours.

He didn’t know he could feel such a foul mood, but that’s what his days had recently been made of. All he’d done was get blackout drunk, fight and then fuck; this wasn’t a routine he recognised at all.

It was almost nine in the night when he entered the house, fully expecting to see you still having a rough time with a mountain of clothes next to you. Surprisingly, he found you passed out next to an empty cup of coffee.

He peeked inside the bedroom and his eyes immediately went to the two giant suitcases stacked in the corner and a cardboard box balanced on top of them.

His closet now housed his bare minimum collection of T-shirts and sweatpants and the bathroom was entirely stripped of its former glory. It was depressing. He took a quick shower and considered slumping onto the bed, knowing full well he should wake you up and make you eat something.

Who was going to feed you actual healthy food in London, with him not around? Because if you had it your way, you’d call a bag of chips dinner and call it a day.

He tried with everything he had, to not care about it and went back into the bedroom, fully determined to go to sleep. Perhaps it was his frustration towards the situation that was garnering such a petty reaction. But then he thought about it for five minutes more and felt like an absolute asshole. Why was he taking this out on you? It’s not like you deliberately caused it. It’s not even like he wanted you to stay for him.

He shook his head almost aggressively, as if trying to physically shake off the bad thoughts and went back out, to do what he actually should have done as soon as he came home.

You’d fallen asleep in the most haphazard position; your head resting on your arms on the kitchen island top, and your body stretched out on the chair. It didn’t look comfortable whatsoever.

He nudged you gently, “noona?”

You barely even stirred.

“Wake up, baby”. The butterflies he gave you, at such close proximity, made you open your eyes. 

“What time is it?” you groaned, lifting your head the slightest bit.

“It’s almost 10.”

You did a little cat stretch. “Did you just get back?”

“No... it’s been a bit, I took a shower and everything”.

“Oh… okay. I was planning on taking a bath too” you trailed off, yawning through the rest of the sentence.

“I’ll make something for us till then.”he replied, thinking about what they could eat, but his chain of thought was disturbed by a phone call.

“Oh hyung, yo.” you heard him say. His energy seemed so low.

“Wait right now? I don’t know hyung.”

Inquisitively you tilted your head and he handed you the phone. The quota of patience he had for the day was very low. 

You could see Jackson’s name on the screen and you greeted him accordingly.

“You wanna chill here?” You repeated, simultaneously gesturing to Yugyeom about his thoughts on the matter at hand. 

He shrugged indecisively and you came to the realisation that you hadn’t actually thought of when you’d say your final goodbyes to Jackson, or in fact anyone else except for Yugyeom; so now seemed like as good a time as any.

“Yeah cool, how long will you take?”

With his patience running on thin ice, the man standing in front of you frowned, but you pretended to not notice it. Instead, you stretched and headed for the shower, avoiding his gaze. Yugyeom’s energy was all over the place and you were lowkey glad you wouldn’t have to deal with it by yourself.

You thought about planning your day tomorrow and meeting at least some of the people you cared about. What you hadn’t expected was Jackson bringing most of those people to you.

Half an hour after the phone call, your living room was at full capacity. It wasn’t even that many people honestly, just your usual hang-out group - a mixture of your and Yugyeom’s combined friend list, but your living room looked full. 

Yugyeom was even more displeased than before, but managed to hide it by holding onto a bottle of beer, like it was crucial to his existence.

“He didn’t say he was coming with…. everyone.” You sheepishly expressed. 

“It’s fine. At least you get to meet most of your friends.”

“Yeah I guess, i was just thinking about it.”

You get distracted by a hand on your shoulder, “thinking about what?” Bambam asked

“Meeting some people before leaving.” You repeated.

“Ooh depressing.” 

“That’s one way to look at it.” You gave him a deadpan stare, unimpressed by his poor timing.

Yugyeom took the opportunity to wander off to his other friends, most of whom were gathered around the table of food, in front of the TV.

Some random nonsense movie was playing that Mark and his girlfriend were really invested in. He considered sitting next to them but he was not sure when they’d start making out, so he parked himself next to Jaebeom instead. His head was heavier in that moment than it had been in the morning, when he’d left. He couldn’t leave right now though, Jackson would beat his ass.

So he settled for eating silently and drinking slowly, in his little corner.

Meanwhile, you were trying to keep up a brave face. Jackson had already repeated himself at least thrice, saying how much he was going to miss you and it was getting more and more difficult to hold your tears. 

Taking a large gulp of the wine you had in your hand, you told him you were going to miss him a lot too and gave him a partial hug.

There was no scope of hiding from the reality of the situation anymore.

Two days later no one in this room was going to physically be a part of your life. Just two days. All you wanted to do was find Yugyeom and bury your head in his chest, like the ostrich that you were.

You took in some really deep breaths and poured yourself more booze, in the hopes of turning it around and becoming chipper.

Inevitability should be accepted or else life begins to feel like a drag…. no?

Alcohol made it a lot easier for you to bury the sadness that came with your unofficial ‘bon voyage’ celebration. A part of you was also suddenly scared to approach Yugyeom. You studied his face carefully, discreetly, while seated on the couch. Get togethers usually made him hyper, yet here he was looking into his phone like he was studying for a phd degree.

Even though there was an overwhelming urge to go and talk to him, you decided against it. If he wasn’t feeling some type of way, he would not have isolated himself like that and you knew you were partially to blame for it 

You indulged in more cocktails, talked to your friends and somewhere in the middle of all this chatter, Jackson, for the nth time commenced a relay of toasts addressed to you. Really on brand of him to talk about his feelings like that but because you were caught so off-guard you started crying.You weren’t prepared for this kind of emotional haranguing.

Yugyeom hated every minute of it. He didn’t want to hear over and over again that you were leaving, or see you cry. He should have declined Jackson’s proposition when he had the chance to, but now he had to deal with long speeches almost all of which included him too. He felt his lungs constrict like he was about to drown. Jaebeom gave him a comforting pat on the back and passed him a new bottle of soju. 

From time to time he looked at you but avoided eye contact. He knew he should have been next to you, hugging and comforting you, he just couldn’t bring himself upto the task. It was that same resentment he had felt earlier today that made him respond in this fashion. All he wanted was this night to end and for everyone to leave. But then again, maybe this was better because he didn’t have to be alone with you. 

You cried for a good hour while everyone told you they were going to miss you. There were long hugs and accelerating levels of inebriation involved. You promised to text everyone back because at that moment you had no proper words to say and you wanted to tell them all so much. 

By the time you crossed your threshold of tipsy to near blackout drunk, it was almost daybreak. The sun was just beginning to peek at you from behind the mountains. 

Yugyeom was in a worse shape than you, so Jackson and Jinyoung decided to clean up a bit, as your parting gift; trying to rope in Bambam in.

“No way. I know what’s coming after she leaves. I deserve a break before donning my emotional clean up crew role.”

“Don’t lie, you’re both just going to drink.” 

“Yes and drown him in his sorrows. This is how you clean out emotions. He’s gonna drink and cry.”

“That’s the worst way to deal with anything.” Jackson rolled his eyes

“Hyung…. you work out and write music, he drinks and dances. It’s not really all that different.”

“It’s not the same either though. If I feel something I don’t carry it with me. All he does is let it eat him until he forgets it or explodes.”

Can you debate about this later and help me carry him to the bedroom?” Jaebeom interrupted. 

Jackson handed the empty bottles to Jinyoung and got to the task of shifting Yugyeom’s large body from the couch.

“Just him?” Bambam asked

“I already tucked her in,” Jaebeom replied. “We should get out of here soon.”

“Yeah, I still have to go to work. Can’t believe Youngjae and Mark left me alone.” Jinyoung complained, trying to make as little noise as possible while trashing the garbage.

With a lot of difficulty, Jackson was able to plonk Yugyeom on the bed. Jaebeom studied you both before heaving a sigh. The peaceful look on your faces was not an accurate testament to your respective behaviours prior to passing out. But there wasn’t anything he could do about it. He kept a trash bag and a bottle of water each near your nightstands before leaving. 

At least he could hope that when you wake up, you’d feel better.

... You didn’t.

The splitting headache you were experiencing was really on another level when combined with your sandpaper mouth. Thankfully things were conveniently placed around you because if you had to walk to the kitchen to drink water right now you'd rather die of thirst than get up. Your attention turned to the man next to you, his porcelain skin tempting you to kiss him or at least stroke his face, but you resisted. 

You finished the whole bottle and gently lowered yourself back into the bed, lying awake with throbbing pains radiating from various places. 

Yugyeom made a cute sound in his sleep, making your heart jump. It was nearly impossible to not want to scoot closer to him. He hadn’t given you a hug in all of twenty four hours and you were already about to lose your mind.

How you were going to survive without him was really beyond your comprehension.

You just lightly touched your fingers to his palm and closed your eyes, hoping you’d fall back to sleep. The next thing you knew he had one arm around you and was pulling you into his chest; aligning his body with yours. His soft breaths landing on the back of your neck, making you shiver.

“Feeling okay?” He asked in his hoarse, morning voice. 

“Hmm…”

You could feel his lips moving against your skin as he spoke, making you melt in his embrace. Your heartbeat accelerated and he held onto you even tighter. 

Melancholy hung in the air, much like Christmas decorations in December; he could feel it. Your legs intertwined and he heard a faint sob.

There was nothing he could say that would change the atmosphere. It was time to burst the bubble, so he let you cry, and he cried too.

Head buried in your back, he whispered, “noona…. please will you leave a hoodie of yours with me?”

You nodded and kissed his hand. 

“I love you.” He said and the both of you went back to sleep. 

It was almost evening when he finally woke up. You weren’t in bed anymore, his head was hammering to a tune of it’s own, in spite of having medicated in the morning, and his body was craving water. Staggering, he made his way to the kitchen and found you in a semi-messy situation with cooking paraphernalia all over the counter.

“Oh? What is happening here”. It sounded like he was concerned but he was really only a bit confused. 

“making some sandwiches.”

“Suddenly? Why? We could have just ordered.”

“Yeaaah I don’t know, just felt like it.”

He smiled, because you looked so cute in that apron. His mood was foul but looking at you made it better. He chugged some water while you emptied the pan and he was overcome with the urge to hug you.

You were caught off-guard when he put his arms around you, but you reciprocated his gesture. It was difficult for you to look him in the eyes because you weren’t sure if, for the hundredth time, you'd end up crying. He cupped your face and nudged you to see him, the sincerity in his face…. all the love he wanted to shower you with right then.

He kissed you slowly, taking his time to taste the light traces of your strawberry lip balm. You didn'’t know what spells he used to get you turned on so fast. Threading your fingers with his hair, you deepen the kiss. The urgency that took over him was maddening. He wanted you right now, which he made abundantly clear when he slipped his left hand under your T-shirt and began caressing your boobs; his other hand gripping your hair and pulling it sharply. 

There was air caught up in your lungs as he kissed your neck, like you’d temporarily forgotten how to breathe. Low moans began to escape your lips and you squeezed your thighs together. You were so wet, just with his mildly aggressive kisses.

He knew what he was doing to you when he felt your lower body clench and both his hands slid back down to grab your butt.

The kiss got sloppier as your focus dwindled to his boner, your fingers already caressing it over his sweatpants. He bit your lip in response, pushed you against the kitchen island and aimed to remove your clothes. You were still in your flannel and shorts from the night before, so he fumbled a bit on the buttons. His accuracy was failing him because you weren't stroking him over the sweatpants anymore; he could feel your hand sliding over his skin, purposefully slow and tender. His eyes were barely open, your lips were still locked and he was trying to get you naked without actually seeing what he was doing. He grunted helplessly when you touched the tip of his cock. Wet sounds of you stroking his length, mixed in with his shallow breaths and moans, filled the kitchen. 

He nibbled on your neck, as your movements accelerated. With your non-dominant hand you tried your best to remove his sweatpants, but he stopped you.

“Turn around.” He whispered, pulling your hand away. The way he seduced you with his demanding voice and bedroom eyes, you gave in without a fight. You bucked your hips and grabbed the closest edge of the marble top. He bit your neck, gently sucking at the skin caught between his lips, until it looked bruised and then he moved on further down, while dry humping your ass, one hand firmly placed on your waist. A small gasp escaped your lips when his fingers slipped inside your panties. Automatically, you spread your legs wide, to let him access the delicate parts. 

He could smell your shampoo mixed in with your intoxicating scent and it was sending him over the moon as he played with your wet and sensitive clit.

“Good girl” he praised, when you pushed your ass further into his boner, craving to feel it bare.

You hummed, his thin and long fingers dancing to the tune of your arousal. He fingered you slowly and deliberately, and it was excruciating. 

It was the last time he was going to get to feel you. Tomorrow you'd be gone. It made him angry and sad. It made him desperate. 

You could feel his aggression in the way his lips collided onto yours with force, the way his nails dug into your skin, the way his body was stiff and wrapped around you in a solid cage.

His hold on you tightened and he spun you around again, to face him. He wanted to make sure you never forgot how he made you feel; so that no other man would ever be enough for you because he set that bar up so high. He wanted to spoil the idea of being pleased again by anyone else, for you. Maybe it was toxic to think that way, but he was already letting go of you.

He had no choice but to let go of you. The train of thought he'd gotten on made his brain short circuit and switch off. He wasn't aroused anymore and everything was blurry and confusing. Before he could stop himself, he took a step back.

“Don't leave me, noona.” He said in a small voice, looking at the floor.

The words crash on you like a violent wave. 

You wished he'd stayed looking at the tiles, because when he looked up, you felt the guilt of having accidentally run over a puppy. There was sadness and shame and anger and you didn't know which emotion to address first.

“Yugs….”

So many words swirled in your brain but your lips were sewn shut.

“So, I guess that's a no.”

“What are you trying to do, Yugyeom?”

“Oh well, It was worth a try.” He chuckled, rather bitterly.

What else was he expecting would happen.

Life is not a movie scene; the girl doesn't quit on her career for the boy, in real life. But was it valid for him to feel the sting that persistently worsened as you two stood opposite each other uncomfortably? He knew this was going to happen. He chose it with you. Hell, he chose it for you even. While he was trying to rationalise his own resentments, you straightened yourself up and started putting the buttons of your shirt back in place. 

“I don't know what you want to hear from me, Yugs. You know I don't want to leave you. And you don't want to come with me.”

Shit, that stung him even more.

“I have to leave for the airport in 12 hours so do we have to be like this?” You asked defeatedly. 

He shook his head and you extended your arms, waiting for him to fall into them.

“I'm really sorry we have to end this way.”

In his experience, there was no safer feeling than being held by you, but right now it was the root cause of all the knives ruthlessly jammed in his chest.

Nonetheless, he hugged you and exhaled pure agony.

“I'm gonna go take a shower. Maybe afterwards, if you feel like it, we can go get some drinks?” You asked cautiously.

“Yeah… I’d like that” he lied, as he let go. Truth be told, he couldn't look past the multiple ‘last times’ anymore. The last time he could hug you, the last time he could fuck you, the last time he could hear your voice… he couldn't do any of it. He didn't want to do any of it. He didn't want this for the last time. He heard you close the door to the bathroom and started fixing his appearance however he could, grabbed his wallet and phone and headed out. If he stayed in that house for a second more he felt he'd choke and die. He was trying to run away from the toxic fumes his own thoughts were emitting, and there was nowhere to hide from them, so he tried to leave them behind. 

His brisk walk turned into a sprint and then he ran as fast as he could towards the subway station. And just like that he vanished into the sea of anonymity, nowhere to be found.

Four hours had gone by since you'd come out of your shower to a deserted house and a singular message from Yugyeom. “Sorry noona, I can't do this.”

it felt like a cruel déjà vu.

His phone wasn't reachable. Bambam had no idea, neither did Jaebeom. You were much too confused to react in any appropriate manner.

“He left” You said to Jaebeom, who was equally confused and infuriated.

It seemed like you'd already connected the dots as to Yugyeom’s unavailability but a part of you was holding onto some hope.

“I'm sure he's gonna show up dude.”

“I have to leave in like 3 more hours. He wouldn't have left if he planned to show up.”

“He's definitely not at Bam’s?”

“Jae…. unless I was being lied to, he's not there. And i don't think Bam has any reason to do that.”

“Okay. Keep me posted.”

“Yeah” you sighed. 

You were neither angry, nor sad and you had good reason to experience both those emotions at once, but the way your brain had switched itself to autopilot, everything had just become a matter of necessity. 

You tried Yugyeom’s number once again, and weren't even surprised anymore when you heard the automated switched off message. 

While scanning the room your eyes fell upon your suitcases and your heart dropped 6 feet further than where it was already at.

You had to leave soon.

The silence had already been gnawing at your sanity, now it was overpowering guilt because if you had just said no, none of this would have happened. If you had just said no to the promotion. If you had tried harder for Seoul. If you had chosen to stay when Yugyeom asked you to, then the chain of events would have been different. Maybe, if he'd not run away from this whole situation you could have figured out a solution. But he wasn't here and you were running out of time.

A high pitched buzzer cut through the atmosphere, giving you a jump scare. For a second you thought maybe it was Yugyeom, but why would he need to ring the bell.

You saw Jackson's silhouette in the little alarm system by the door and sighed. 

“You look so unhappy to see me.” He huffed, when you greeted him dryly.

“Gee Jackson, sorry I'm upset about Yugyeom literally bailing on me when I have to leave in an hour.”

“Wait what? He's not back?” 

“No…..i don't know where he is.”

“And he's still not answering?”

“I tried about 50 times, it's off. Anyway, how come you're here?” 

It was comical how distraught you were internally and how inept you were at translating your emotions externally. The way you were talking, no one would think you were in this sad sad situation of leaving your life behind to start a new one.

“You don't remember asking me to drop you off?”

“Was I drunk?”

“Well…. tipsy maybe?”

“I was definitely drunk. I don't remember any of it. But, I'm glad you're here.”

“Are you…. packed?”

“Yeah, I just got the last batch of clothes I need to shove in.”

“Cool. You have anything to eat?”

“I made some sandwiches in the evening. Have at it.”

You were trying your best to be normal. A few minutes later Bambam and Jaebeom arrived as well, both without any worthwhile news of Yugyeom.

“I'm gonna kill him when I see him.” Jaebeom raged.”this is very childish.”

“It's fine man…. i know why he just vanished. It's okay. I'm not mad.” 

“Bro are you…. Hearing yourself?”

“Very clearly. He was never good with confrontational emotions. He didn't want to see me leave so he left. It's not rocket science.” 

“You went through your stages of grief really fast with this one.” 

“I didn't have an option.” you looked at the three of them sitting around you “So…. are all of you taking me to the airport?”

“Yeah, duh.” Bambam countered.

“Okay then wait for me in the car, I need to say bye to the house.”

“And you can't do that in front of us?” 

“Would you rather get uncomfortable watching me cry?”

Honestly, you were just prolonging it, the actual act of leaving. You felt so heavy when Jaebeom rolled your suitcases out. In passing you looked at your two favourite hoodies you'd left on the bed and it took everything out of you to not have an emotional breakdown right at that moment.

It was difficult, leaving was difficult especially without Yugyeom. You were in denial of your feelings but you were so angry at him but also so sorry towards him, your emotions kept cancelling each other out. You just wanted to hug him one last time and get the closure you were hoping to get but he took that option away from you. In your three year relationship, this was maybe the most cruel he’d ever been with you. But it was over now. This chapter was done, even with all of its loose ends.

You took your time saying your final byes to three of the most important people you'd met in Seoul. It was quite impressive that you didn't burst out in tears, even when Bam and Jae almost did. There was a part of you that was distracted by a hope that he'd be at the airport to see you off. When he wasn't at the main gates, you hoped he'd be there at check-in. While walking towards your departure gate you kept an eye out, hoping to catch a glimpse of his smile. You just wanted to say goodbye. But he never came. You sat glued to your spot, because what if he did try to find you and you weren't there. You boarded your flight at the very end. You gave an imaginary him all the imaginary chances you could, to materialise and tie a neat ribbon around your life in Seoul.

But your flight took off and the last shred of hope you had snapped and so did you.

Because life isn't a movie. Just like the girl doesn't leave her career, the boy doesn't run through the airport either. 

[storysofmyown]

Obey me! Scarred, Chapt. 8

Plot: It’s time for the next step in Diavolo’s plan to unify the  realms. But, in order to work, the demons would be subjected to confront  their worst fears, and in some cases, who they are.

Trigger Warning: Manipulation, some cussing, blood, death, messing with another persons head.

Word Count: 3159

Mammon stood in front of The Purgatory Hall, it was the dead of the night, well, it was always night in the Devildom, but now could be considered the time were no souls were meant to be awake. Yet, here he stood with an entire bag of hell sauce flavored noodles waiting for someone to let him in. He had gone out of the house in such a rush he forgot to close his window, so no one suspected he was away.  He also almost forgot to bring what his father had asked for. Finally, after who knows how long of waiting, it was probably just five minutes, but Mammon was stressed, one of the archangels opened the door. A surprised expression painted on his face. The archangel looked at Mammon up and down before looking back at someone. Mammon was getting restless.

 “He is waiting for me.” Was all Mammon said before entering the room. The archangel staring in shook at the demon.

 Once Mammon entered, he noticed how different this specific room in Purgatory Hall was from the others. There was little to no furniture inside, and the whole room had been painted in white. The other two archangels starred at Mammon, not knowing what to do. They had placed their hands on their weapons, but Mammon only rolled his eyes.

 ¨Chill out, will ya? I came bearing gifts.” Mammon threw the bag into the only table in the whole room. “He asked for it…for some reason.” Mammon starred trough his sunglasses at the archangels, before taking a deep breath and sighing. His hands were on his pockets, but he couldn’t stop pacing around the room.

 “Erh…He…He is this way.” The Archangel that had opened the door, Gabriel, spoke, standing in front of the only other door in the room.

 Mammon looked around. He could just go away, no need to talk to his father, go back to the house of lamentation and talk with his family about God and see if there was a way they could skip that stupid ball. If he crossed that door…will he be able to get out? What was his father planning? Raphael and Michael were standing beside the table, unlike other times, they were not defensive, they looked more curious than anything. If he tried to leave now, there was a chance they would attack him and bring him to God. Mammon sighed, he followed Gabriel into the room.

 Gabriel opened the door, revealing a completely dark room, only two armchairs, in one sat God, the first armchair (which back was facing the door) faced the other armchair, which was besides a fireplace. There was a quiet in the room that rubbed Mammon the wrong way. The moment he stepped into the room he felt chills run down his back, an infernal sensation covering every inch of his body. He felt like an animal being targeted by a hunter. His fight or flight instincts kicking in, leaning towards flying the fuck away from that place.

 “Ah, Mammon.” God spoke, without having turned around to face him. “Come on in, son. I was waiting for you.” Gods voice was low, slow, and raspy. Any sound that man made was enough to make Mammon prefer having Lucifer yell at him for hours.

Mammon did what God said, the moment his entire body entered the room Gabriel closed the door. Listening it creak as it closed Mammon starred at the back of the head of his father. He stood there a couple of seconds. Whatever his father wanted, was now set in motion, there was no way Mammon would be able to leave that room without God letting him out. Slowly, he made his way to the other armchair, conveniently placed the furthest from the door.

 “Go on, sit down. There is no need to be nervous.” God had some type of glass on his hands, sipping whatever substance was in it while starring at the fireplace. Mammon did as he was told, not voluntarily, for some reason his body just did.

 “What do ya want?” Mammon asked, sharply, or at least that’s how he intended it to sound.

 “I was surprised.” God spoke. Ignoring completely Mammon’s question. “I was expecting you to jump at the opportunity to make some easy money.”

 Gods eyes never meet Mammon. His father had a blank expression, a face devoid of any emotion while the low light emanating from the fire hit his almost white eyes. It reminded Mammon of those scary movies he stayed late watching with Mc. Another long sip. Silence. The crackle of the fire and the sound of his own breathing was the only thing Mammon could hear. He stayed in his sit, completely still. From where Mammon was sitting, the light barely illuminated the door, but it was enough for him to know that the door was still there.  Was his father taunting him by placing him there?

 “But you didn’t take. Not only that but you actively refused it. Wonder why.” This time Gods eyes meet Mammon’s, it was like starring into the void. His father looking nothing like a person and more and more like a porcelain doll. Silence. Slow breathing versus agitated one. Fire. “Care to explain?” Mammon could not tell if his father was staring at him or at something else.

 “I…erh…I don’t need to explain myself to ya!” Was all Mammon could say. He wanted to form a fist in his hand and slap it against one of the arms of the chair, but his body just wouldn’t cooperate.

 “Come now, I don’t have time for this kind of nonsense.” God sighed, he let his head rest on his hand, was the room getting darker?

 Mammon bite his tongue. There was a strange sensation running around him, he evaded Gods gaze, focusing on the door behind his father.

 “Fine, you can keep it a secret. I don’t mind.” God crossed his legs, another sip, more silence. “I been meaning to talk with you.”

“Why didn’t you just ask to see me before?” Mammon blurted out. He was not planning on saying that at all, while part of him did thought that it was odd that his father wanted to talk to him 2 days away from the ball, that was not what he wanted to respond at all.

 “Oh? I guess you weren’t that important.” God sighed, looking bored, before shooting a grin at Mammon. “Why would you be?”

“Oi! Show me some damn respect. I’m no child you can talk to like that.” Mammon felt a rush of fury trough his whole body. Still, he maintained motionless in his sit, glaring at his father.

 His father was right in front of his face in the blink of an eye, starring at Mammon’s eyes with such an intense hatred it made him sweat. The man was merely inches apart and Mammon wanted to push him away but there was something that did not let him. He was petrified in place. Mammon felt himself shake to his core yet be perfectly still. Just like he appeared in front of him, God was now behind Mammon’s chair. Mammon could hear the breathing of his father right behind him, calm, collected, like he was having a conversation with an old friend and not with one of the sons he had hurt in such an intensity.

 In contrast with Mammon’s, who was accelerated, agitated. He was all alone in a room with his father, who knew what his father wanted and no one in the house of lamentation was awake at this hour to notice he was gone. God was a menace, to everyone in his family. The only reason why he agreed to meet God was because he wanted to help Lucifer somehow, and maybe finding out if their father was messing with their family would be a good start.

 “Respect? Haha, ahahaa, HAHAHAHAHAAHA” God laughed laud and hysterically. Shifting around the room at such a speed Mammon could barely keep up where his father was moment after moment. The laugh went from being a noise coming from a specific place to a reverberating noise coming from everywhere. At some point it all stopped. Once again, the only noise in the room became the crackling of the fire as Mammon sat perfectly still in that chair. He lost track of where his father was, but the sound of someone humming captured his attention. He glanced at his side, finally able to move a part of his body, to find his father, one arm leaned on the fireplace, eyes closed. Humming a lullaby of some kind.

 “Oh Mammon, you make me laugh. HAhaHa! Respect, oh my me. I didn’t know that becoming a demon gave someone a sense of humor.”

 “What is so funny about that, huh? I am The Great Mammon! You should show me some respect.” Mammon snarled, still facing in his father’s direction.

 “Oh please, you haven’t done anything to deserve anyone’s respect.” Mammon was going to protest, but he stopped when God started humming again. Suddenly, it clicked to him why the music was so familiar.

 “Lilith’s music box.” Mammon averted his gaze, starring at the floor.

 “Ah, you remember huh?” God chuckled. Mammon could hear God shifting. “The music box…its funny, it was the first thing that got destroyed during the war. Do you even know how Lilith got her hands on it?” Mammon didn’t respond. “Of course not, why would you?” God sighed; Mammon could hear his father shuffling around in the room.

 Mammon had spent so many years trying to fight the memories of that time in the celestial realm. All those memories, from the moment he was born to the way his wings burned as he fell, were blurry and in a good day, nonexistent. Because he wanted to forget them.  He was being forced to remember a time in which he was at his worst, in a sense. They were forced to be loyal and love their father, they were forced do whatever he said, it was a time in which they were mindless warriors who if they ever made a mistake his father could annihilate them. Perhaps that is why Belphegor and Lilith loved so much the human world, they were not forced to serve an egoist man. Perhaps that is why he always went against Lucifer’s orders…

 They had lost so much at that war, but even so, they were so much better here in the Devildom. The only thing he wished they still had was their sister. His eyes tried to find his father. He needed to know where the man was, he was undoubtedly scared and the moments in where his father was hidden he wondered if he was going to do anything. He was in danger, he was scared, and for some reason he could not move at all.

 “Lilith found it on earth. It had been a gift from the man she fell in love with. How disgusting.” Mammon heard the noise of a glass shattering, the fire became more furious as it burned and the light it manned became brighter. He felt suffocated by the increasing heat on the room. “But it seems like she was not the only one in the family who found…humans endearing.” Mammon could see his father from the corner of his eye. His mind immediately connected the dots, his father was talking about Mc. “You and the rest of your family…you have become quite fond of that human.” There was disgust in Gods voice.

 Mammon felt this wave of anger hit him; he felt his blood boil at the mere thought of God speaking with Mc. He was actively trying for his demon form to merge, but it wouldn’t. Why? He couldn’t understand what was happening, he never had any trouble going into his demon form, heck, sometimes he had trouble not being in his demon form. He glanced up, fire in his eyes, to be meet by his father’s icy gaze.

 “Don’t ya dare touch ‘em!” Mammon screamed at his father, struggling to move, speak, or even think. His father laughed. Mammon was being faced by the person that scared him the most, and the man was in some threatening one of the persons who Mammon cared for the most. He would be shaking right now if he could.

 “Oh, I wouldn’t dare to do something like that. I’m not one to get my hands messy. No.” God was now right beside Mammon, a golden glow on his father’s eyes and terror in Mammon’s. “The truth is, that even if you are demons now, you were an angel once, which means that there is a part of you that still loves me, that still will do anything I say.” Mammon tried so hard to just turn around and hit his father, but he still couldn’t, and at this point he was sure it wasn’t because his body wouldn’t cooperate, but because his father was controlling him.

 He tried so hard to move but the most he could do was make the chair shake a little. His father had a satisfactory smile painted on his lips. His father muttered something, the fire extinguished, for a moment, Mammon could not see or hear anything.

“Mammon?” What? How where they? What was Mc doing in there?

 “…Mc?” His voice was shaking.

 “Attack them.” In the blink of an eye Mammon threw himself at where he assumed Mc was. The darkness in the room preventing him from seeing anything. He was running at full speed, demon form finally out and ready to attack Mc. He could hear Mc was in distress, asking him what he was doing and why he was acting this way. Mammon only snarled and growled at them as he threw one of the armchairs over because it was on his way.

 He didn’t want to do this. His mind was screaming at him to stop whatever he was doing, to go against his father, to attack his father instead. But he couldn’t, there was adrenaline running trough his body and his mind went blank the moment he felt his claws dig into someone. Mc screamed. And his heart stopped, he was crying because he knew what was happening, but he couldn’t stop. The screams and cries of Mc mixed with them begging him to stop. The laugh of God coming from his own mind. Mc stopped struggling. And Mammon started to sob uncontrollably.

 The entire room was then bathed in a white light, Mammon looked up at first. Terror settling in as he saw the walls covered in blood. He glanced down. And all his world came falling apart. There, in the floor was Mc, covered in blood, mutilated, hurt, killed by his own hands. If he wasn’t already on the floor, Mammon would have fallen. He started crying even more, barely being able to breath trough the sobs as he hit the floor with his fist. He wanted to hold Mc’s hand, and he did.

 “Mc?” No response. “Mc, c’mon on! Don’t ya mess with me.” Mammon voice was quieter now, Mc’s body was covered in blood. His breathing stopped for a moment, as even more tears accumulated on his eyes. “Mc, please! Answer me! You human!” Mammon brought Mc’s hand close to his face. The usual warmth had vanished and was replaced by a stiff coldness as he held Mc’s blood covered hand on his face.

 “My, there is no need to act like this. They are a simple human.” Mammon had only hurt like this once. “I’m surprised you couldn’t tell that was an illusion. Well, its you after all. Why would I surprised that you couldn’t tell the simplest of things?” Mammon looked at his father with red eyes.

 “That…that wasn’t really…Mc?” God laughed.

 “Of course not. That was… why don’t we call it, a warning?” God kneeled, starring at Mammon right in the eyes.

 “I still own you.”

  God spoke slow, putting emphasis in his every word.

 “No matter what you do, or how much you think you have changed, you and all the others still are just my little puppets. And just like you hurt that precious human of yours without even having a second to question my will, I can make you do the same for the others in your family.” God stood up, tall, mighty, Mammon had to look up in order to see his father. “You are nothing. No one. You only have meaning if I decided you have one.” Mammon felt himself being forced to bow for his father.

 Mammon was being humiliated, reduced to only his father’s servant, but he didn’t care about that. He only cared about the scent of blood in his body and the memories of how he had killed Mc. He wasn’t aware of how long his father forced him to bow. But it was long enough for Mammon to lose sense of himself for a moment. When he was able to get up, his father placed a hand on his back. Normally Mammon would slap it away but now…he was in a dream state. Barely even aware of what was happening around him. They were in front of the door, God had placed his hand on the noob and was about to open it, but he turned to Mammon. A smile on his lips.

 “You know…its going to be a shame when you tell Lucifer about this. I mean, how disappointed in you do you think he would be? You were right here, knowing damn well what I was doing…yet you were weak and couldn’t even go against me. My, and you pride yourself in being the second eldest.” Mammon didn’t say anything. Instead, when his father opened the door, Mammon only kept walking.

 The archangels immediately jumped into position when they saw the door being opened. They were ready to fight but the moment their eyes fell into the demon, covered in blood, and with a broken, lost look on his face, they leaved him alone. Gabriel opened the door for the demon, and when Mammon was about to leave, his father spoke again. The moment God spoke, Mammon stopped in his tracks. Like a trained dog to his owner.

  “Oh, I almost forgot, thank you for delivering what I asked for. Even without knowing you still do what I told you. That’s a good boy.” Mammon flinched, his wings hanged low, the moment he stepped out of that room he was transported to his own. He didn’t question it. He just sat in bed, being plagued by guilt and by Mc’s face. And he cried, he cried all night until he had no tears left to cry. Two more days, and God will finally leave. But his absence will not be enough for any of the brothers to feel

Heya! Here y’all go! It was Mammons turn to suffer and i really hope i did justice to his character.  This one was a little hard to write, at first i didn’t knew in what direction i should go with this but I’m pretty satisfied with the end product. Also, fun fact time! I had to cut that from this chapter cuz i felt like it didn’t make sense, but originally Lilith’s music box was going to be one of seven gifts God had given to the siblings. Each of them was meant to have an specific item they lost during the war. But yeah, i had to cut it out because i felt like it didn’t belong in this chapter...on in this story in general. So, that’s it for today, i shall be posting next chapter between Saturday and Sunday, and i think its safe to say there is only 3 to four chapters left of this fan fic, wow...cant believe we’ve made it this far, yay, hope y’all enjoyed it!

Chapter one

Chapter two

Chapter three

Chapter four

Chapter five

Chapter six

Chapter seven

Chapter nine

Chapter ten

Chapter eleven

Chapter twelve

Chapter thirteen

[sleepyfan-blog]

Sleepy Dream [Part 1]

fandom: Undertale AUs

continued here and here.

Characters: Underswap Papyrus, Dream

warnings: none

Word count: 1,462

Summary: Dream tiredly eats tacos. He’s fine, he promises. 

Dream let the smile on his face drop as soon as he closed the kitchen door. He bit back an exhausted groan as he shuffled over to Blue and Stretch's fridge, pulling out some tortillas and fillings, barely caring enough to fill them properly before stuffing the monster food in his mouth. Dream sat down with a near soundless thud, leaning against the partially open door, the cool air kind of nice against his face. The energy boost was minimal, despite the fact that the food had been made with love and care. But a half-dozen hastily made cold tacos was enough to stave off the looming exhaustion. Hopefully while Blue and Ink sparred, he would be able to take a nap. He just… Needed to put the food away first…

“Uh… Dream are you okay?” Stretch’s voice called out, causing the positive guardian to startle a little and flail, nearly spilling Blue’s cooking - which would be terribly rude.

Dream shoves the food back into the fridge after re-wrapping it up as best as he can with his shaking fingers before turning around and giving the other a big smile, nodding as he looked up at the taller skeleton “Yes, I’m fine! Do you need something, Stretch?”

The younger being squints down at him, a concerned frown on his face that does not in the least bit abate the longer that they continue to stare at one another. Stretch folds his arms over his chest and sits down next to Dream, asking quietly “... I don’t need anything, but I’m wondering if you do. You’ve been dead asleep for the past six hours. Ink and Blue’ve been causing well meaning chaos that entire time and haven’t come in yet. This is the first time you’ve reacted to me calling your name. I would have tried to shake you awake, but I couldn’t actually get into the kitchen until you woke up. Every time I tried to get close to the door, you’d activate some sort of yellow shield thing. I couldn’t even use a short-cut to get in here. Unless you were just ignoring me for some reason.”

“I… No… I didn’t… I didn’t mean to pass out on your kitchen floor like that! Hahaha… I had your fridge door open and everything. That was so rude of me! But really. I’m fine. And sorry about subconsciously keeping you out of part of your own home. It’s just that before I left my timeline, for the longest time I only slept when I passed out from exhaustion - which took several months of staying awake and moving around constantly trying to…” Dream paused for a moment, blinking as he realized that he had been about to admit to have been trying to flee… From a certain someone. He must still be in need of sleep if he was about to say something like that. “Help people in my home timeline.” That wasn’t exactly a lie. Dream had been doing what he could to help the scattered and miserable survivors of Dreamtale. Nightmare fancied himself the king of their world - and it wasn’t as if he could actually rule an empire of dust and dead human bodies. There would be no one but him to torment, which as he’d been told repeatedly, was boring. He couldn’t quite suppress the shudder and hoped that Stretch hadn’t noticed.

The worried frown that only deepened on the other’s face told Dream that he’d failed miserably. “Uh… Dream, I’m pretty sure that Ink sleeps more often than that. You do sleep more regularly than that now, right? Or at least since you’ve been running with Ink and my bro?” Stretch pressed, frowning at him in concern.

“Of course! I’m… Not entirely sure why I passed out on your kitchen floor, actually. I knew I was tired, but tile isn’t the most comfortable thing to sleep on? Then again, it’s pretty clean, which is nice! I’ve definitely slept in much worse places.” Dream answered cheerfully… And mentally beating himself up over the fact that he’d just said that.

Particularly as, predictably, Stretch’s concern and worry over him grew, not lessened “Dream… You know that you can tell me anything, right? Even if you want it to just remain between the two of us. You’ve done a lot to help me and mine. I care about you and want you to be okay.” The other reached out and lightly patted the top of his skull in an affectionate gesture that the positive guardian was wholly unprepared for.

“I… I know. I promise that if there’s ever anything bothering me I’ll tell you.” Dream lied, still smiling cheerfully up at Stretch, hoping that the other would buy it. “Really, I am fine. Just a little overtired…”

“... Are… Are you sure about that? I don’t meant to press… It’s just this is the third time in two weeks I’ve found you huddled in the kitchen over a pile of food and passed out, unable to get to you until you wake up. But you snuck off the other two times and I wasn’t able to talk to you then.” Stretch pushed, still watching him with a surprising amount of care and concern.

“... I…” Oh hell. He might as tell someone. Stretch might be able to help him come up with a better option rather than shoving food in his stomach and sleeping in weird places, as it was incredibly inconvenient and… Worrying. He’d very nearly collapsed in that last fight against Error due to exhaustion and he’d never done that before. “... I don’t have as much energy as I used to. My mana recovers slower than before, and I don’t know why. Even when I’m up at full strength, it doesn’t last nearly as long as I used to… I’ve been trying to sleep a bit more and grab MP restoring potions when I can but… They’re kind of hard to come by and most AUs tend to regulate them if they are sold and not just for the use of the royal guard, sentries and any court magicians who work for the magical royalty or leadership in the AUs I visit. It’s been… For the past three weeks it’s getting worse and I… That last fight with Error I nearly…” Dream stopped talking when he felt Stretch’s emotions shift from concern and worry, to something closely resembling panic.

He let out a tiny sound of surprise when the Papyrus grabbed him by the shoulders and Checked him, staring hard at his stats. “Dream… You’re not beginning to Fall Down, are you?”

“No! No it’s not anything like that. I have lots of HP and am full of positivity. I kind of am the guardian of such feelings, you know. Haha. People feel much happier and more hopeful around me, so why wouldn’t I?” Dream answered, telling the truth… More or less. He wasn’t falling down. “Besides, I can’t die from natural causes, so I’m unable to Fall Down.”

“I… What do you mean by that?” Stretch questioned, frowning a little “How do you know that?”

Dream sighs and shakes his head “Due to how I was created, I cannot die of natural causes. Not from illness, hopelessness, starvation, old age, cold or heat exposure. I can only die if I’m killed - and it’s a lot harder to kill me than it may look. In part because I heal really quickly. I know this because the previous guardian of… The previous guardian told me. They were dying and created me to take their place. They gave me a lot of information so that I wouldn’t be helpless at first as I adjusted to my form and role.”

“Okay… Does any of that information that they gave you explain your recent lack of energy? Or is it just that you need a bit of a break from running all across the multiverse? Maybe stay someplace safe for a couple of weeks and just chill.” Stretch was pretty sure that he could talk Blue into staying in this timeline for a while - or hell. Dream could go to the omega timeline to rest where there was absolutely no chance of a reset and everything suddenly going horrible on him. Ink was… Generally a reasonable sort about taking breaks and the like.

“Yeah, I figure I just need to recharge in a high-positivity timeline. We have been fighting more with Error than normal… And we were fighting to try to protect a neutral-run Underfell so… That usually takes a bit more out of me than other timelines I’ve been to.” Dream responded, the smile on his face mostly genuine this time. They’d been battling in darker timelines as of late. That’s probably just what it was.

[axela-storm]

Werewolf AU : 09.Happy Birthday II

***********

Summer days passed quickly, faster than Hyun expected. It was time to return to the capital and resume his life as always, but in the situation in which he was now, it was impossible.

After talking with Alister, he agreed that it was necessary to be here a little longer, so that the situation changed, or at least it could be resolved.

"Hyun, I understand that you want to go home, but I need more time to solve this whole issue, so take this time to train."

Hyun took a physical training seriously, every day he was training for hours and hours to improve his flexibility, strength, tone his muscles well. And that gave him a results, his body was more toned, stronger, more slender.

His martial arts training with Alister improved greatly his reaction, his balance and his agility. Now his transformations were less painful and more faster. His silver hair grew enough to pick them up in a short ponytail.

Today was Saturday, and it was the day when he went to see her, the little stormy example of humanity.

He was smiling while thinking about her.

She was the only person with whom he could be as he wanted to be, not fitting his self, not pretending to be a someone who isn’t him.

But for her, he would always be only her white wolf, and that made his heart shrink, but he understood that soon he was leaving this place, and it wasn't reasonable to get used to it, she would also forget him when he leaves.

Hyun woke up very early, as usual, sun had started rising from the horizon. He got out of his bed and went to the kitchen, to catch a bottle of water. Alister was there with a cup of coffee.

"Good morning Alister, you are awake so early .."

"Yes, I have things to do, today I'm going to talk to your father, to decide what we're going to do, we stay still here or we come back."

"Come back? ... So soon ... oh, I mean, that's fine, that means everything is solved?"

"Not yet, but I have everything under control, more or less ..." Alister was looking through the window. "I hope so, Hyun , I hope so .."

"What are your plans do today?"

"Nothing particular, I take a walk, and then I will be training, as always."

"A walk?" Alister looked at Hyun raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, a walk, why the face?"

"For nothing, how is the girl?"

"She's fine ... What? Alister!"

"Ha ha ha .. I'm sorry, but it's funny"

"Funny !! Why?"

Alister was laughing. Hyun's face was blushed and embarrassed.

"Your reaction, it's funny..hahaha .."

"Whatever you say ..." Hyun ran out of the kitchen and Alister kept smiling.

"Poor Hyun Ryu, you're falling in love, and you don't see it ..."

Alister knew that wasn't good for many reasons, and that is why he hoped that soon they could leave this place, and that youthful love would be forgotten quickly, before it can cause bigger problems.

"What is this guy talking about ... damn .."

Hyun came running into his room, his face was still red.

After taking a shower he put on comfortable clothes for a walk and left the house.

The road to the cave was not very long, before entering the look around, there was no one, then entered inside.

He took off his clothes and kept them under the ridiculous bed that was there and then transformed.

He was halfway down from the viewpoint when the wind brought such a familiar floral smell, it was her ...

"Good morning Zen!" then she hugged him.

"As always so impulsive," Zen sighed, but he missed her hug.

They went to the viewpoint, it seemed that Melamory was a little sad today, they ate together and then she was telling him everything that happened during the week at school.

"You know, tomorrow is my birthday ..."

"Birthday, really?" Zen was looking at her.

She fell asleep and he kept looking at her, that reddish hair, her long lashes, those little hands, he couldn't help himself and licked her hand.

"Shit ..." after understanding what he had done, he wanted to hit himself for it.

******

Alister was thinking how to present the information that he discovered to Hyun's father.

This information could do a lot of damage not only to Hyun's father, but also to the whole family, to all the community of werewolves.

And this could put Hyun in a more dangerous situation, but he had no other solution, he had to protect young Ryu.

When he arrived at the office of the Ryu company, he waited a while before entering Hyun's father's office.

"Good morning Alister." Mr. Ryu got up from his table.

"Hello, I'm sorry for being late."

"Nothing's happening, I was waiting for you, Well have you found anything important?"

"Important? Yes, you can call this like that, first read this, and then we'll talk .." Alister put a folder with documents on the table.

An hour later, Mr. Ryu got up from the table and approached the little table with glass bottles filled with an amber liquid.

He filled two glasses of this liquid from one of the bottles and went to the armchairs where Alister was, he put a glass in front of Alister.

"Are you sure about all this?" he asked without looking up.

"Yes, I'm sure" answered Alister.

"My God .. How did I not realize this? ... How have I not seen this?" He took his brandy in one gulp and then looked at Alister.

"What do I have to do now? What can I do now?"

******

Alister returned to the cabin late at night, Hyun was waiting for him.

"Are you awake? Is something wrong?" asked Alister

"I just wanted to know how it went with my father."

"It went well, I think so."

"Are we going back home?"

"Not yet Hyun, I think we will be here for a while, but you will have to study at home, a teacher will come to teach you, you have to be prepared for the exams at school when you return."

"A teacher? But .."

"Don't worry, it's one that I know, it's legit, he's going to come twice per week to teach you."

"Okay, it's unexpected but okay, if necessary I'll do it.  Alister, hmm can I ask you what's going on? "

"Nothing that you have to worry about, soon everything will be back to normal."

"If you say so, you know I trust your words. Hmm, and I have something else ..."

"Something else?"

"Yes, hmm, I found in the barn that is behind the house a bike, it's a bit old but it looks in good condition, can I use it?

"What? A bike? Are you serious?"

"Yes, why not, I can handle it and I have a license"

"Well, there won’t be a problem if you promise to not do crazy things and to not call a lot of attention, you know we have to be careful."

"I promise I'll be more than careful, thank you Alister !!"

"You're welcome, just be careful."

"I'll do, good night Alister." Hyun got up from the table and went to his room.

The next morning Hyun was busy with his new acquisition, the bike was covered in dust and had no gasoline, but that was not important.

He was determined to fix and clean this old bike as soon as possible. After three hours of work and swearing, the bike looked like new.

"Alister, look how gleaming it is now, my iron horse!"

Alister went out of the house and stood on the porch leaning against the railing.

The blue bike was clean and the chrome parts were shiny.

Hyun's face was priceless, all stained with oil and dirt, but he was smiling proud of himself. Alister could barely keep his face serious.

"I see, the BIKE, is perfect ... but you need a long hot shower .." Alister could not take it anymore and laughed out loud.

"What? ... Shit..Alister! Do not laugh ... I will kill you..damn .." Hyun looked at his clothes and his hands ..

"Damn ... I have to ... not laugh ..."

"No, on the contrary, I am very proud of your determination Hyun." Alister tapped Hyun on the shoulder.

"I'm going to take a shower ... and ... thank you ..." he entered the house without looking at Alister.

Alister was thinking, that despite everything, Hyun has not changed so much, this guy was always kind and helpful with a gentle heart, even though he pretended to be a tough and  an indifferent.

But he hoped that in the future Hyun could be stronger, to be able to go through all the difficulties that he could find ahead.

Hyun has left the house, a black jeans,  a white T-shirt and a black leather jacket and a boots.

"For God's sake, where are you going with these gangster pints?"

"What? Gangster pints? What are you talking about? Well, it does not matter, I'm going out for a while, I want to try the bike."

"Well, do not forget what about we were talking yesterday, try to pass unnoticed."

"Do not worry, nothing will happen, I don't look for problems."

Hyun filled the bike tank with gasoline a little bit, he will fill it full later when he arrives at the gas station.

He started the engine and gave a little acceleration, he listened to the engine sounds. Then he got on the seat and put on his helmet, said goodbye to Alister raising his hand.

The roar of the motor, the wind, the speed, all of it enchanted Hyun, in the capital he very often rides  his motorcycle, and he missed these sensations of freedom.

He came to a mall that was outside the city, he had an important thing to do, an important thing for him.

Hyun thought a lot after Melamory told him about her birthday, his first thought was sadness, because he could not be with her on this day, but then he thought of the other idea ...

After an hour, he left the mall with a small silver box.

It was getting dark, Hyun was hiding behind a large tree, looking at the house that was full of joy, of lights and laughter.

And finally he has seen her ... at first he didn't recognize her ...

A beautiful girl was on the porch of the house, her dress of emerald green silk, slightly delineated the curves of her figure, her reddish hair fell on her shoulders and her back magically, like a cascade, and small butterflies glittered in her hair .

"You're ..beautiful .. Melamory .." Hyun was surprised, not only to see her like that, but at understanding that she was not a little girl anymore ..

He waited for all the guests to enter the house, and then he approached the house stealthily, took the box from the pocket of his jacket and put it in an armchair on the terrace.

"Happy birthday Melamory" he whispered and left …

*********

I hope you enjoy reading 😘

[justjen523]

A Child With the Gods

Chapter 11

(Series Rating E 18+)

WARNING: SUPER fluffy chapter! 

                                     Hidden In Plain Sight

     “WHAT?!” Zyglavis, Leon and Ichthys all yelled in unison. 

     “S-Seriously? Y-You’re not joking around are you Hue? Cause that would be realllllly mean...”

     “I would never joke about something this important. You are indeed the Father of her other child. I must say though, you are the last one I would have expected it to be however.”

     “Whaaa? Why?”

     “Pffft seriously? The fish raising a kid? What a nightmare...”

     “H-Hey! I will be the best Father in the world thank you very much! Just wait and see...”

     “A child raising a child. I’m sure nothing could possibly go wrong.”

     “Even you Zig? I expected as much from these two but...you guys really are jerks.”

     “And just where do you think you’re going all of the sudden?”

     “Yeah, I don’t believe Ponytail signed your permission slip.”

     “I’m supposed to stay and listen to your shitty comments? Noooo thank you! I’m going to go check on her, besides, I’d figure you guys would be happy to be rid of the kid sitting at the grown-ups table.” Ichthys left in a hurry trying not to be so angry. He just discovered he was going to be a Father and he really didn’t feel like sticking around for that kind of nonsense. 

     “Do you think we may have been a little too hard on him?”

     “Well, it was pretty shitty if I’m speaking plainly. He may be a pain in the ass but the kids got a good heart.”

     “Yes, that seems to be his one redeeming quality. Even I can see as much.”

       Ichthys entered the room watching her steady breathing. A tender smile automatically formed as it always had just from looking at her kind and beautiful face. As he sat down next to her his eyes moved to where his unborn child currently resided and a rush of many different emotions flooded every fiber of his being. Fear however seemed to take precedence. Fear that he would never live long enough to see his child grow. 

     Carefully and gently he placed his hand upon her belly before softly resting his head there as well. Unimaginable joy swelled within him as he heard the two children moving around. He was determined to be a good father and prove all of them that they were wrong. More than anything though he wanted for her to believe it too. He loved her deeply like they all did but somewhere along the way through their many adventures together that love grew into something far more precious. 

     She may be in love with Zyglavis and she may never think of him as anything but a good friend but it would never change the love he carried for her deep in his heart. She had been his motivation and happiness when he struggled to find the will to make it through another day. Just being able to be there for her whenever she needed him gave his life purpose and had finally soothed the fear he had always carried about his mortality. How he felt at this very moment was something he wished would last for all eternity.

       As I opened my eyes everything was still blurry. I blinked several times waiting for my vision to come into focus and when it did I found myself laying in my bed. Feeling a warmth collecting near my womb I gazed down and was surprised to find someone I hadn’t really had much time to see or talk to in quite a long time. 

     “I-Ich-thys.”

     “Woah! You’re finally awake? Thank goodness....you had us all really worried.”

     “W-What happened?” 

     “You fainted from exhaustion and emotional overload. Leon carried you back here and we’ve been looking after you since.”

     “H-How long was I out for?”

     “Several hours. Are you not getting enough rest at night?”

     “No, it’s not that....” The sudden onslaught of memories leading up to my unconsciousness overwhelmed me and once again I suddenly found myself sobbing painfully. Ichthys didn’t hesitate, he was there with a shoulder to cry on and a gentle touch to help soothe my broken heart. He didn’t say a word nor did he complain, he just let me get it out and held me till it subsided gently pulling his fingers through my hair.

     I always felt badly when the playful fun loving god of Pisces had to be the strong silent type for me. I felt like it went against the grain of his true nature and it always left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. 

     “I’m so sorry Ikky....I hate that you have to see me like this..”

     “Like what? The beautifully sad woman who isn’t having a great moment?”

     “But...”

     “You’re so shortsighted sometimes you know? I mean geeze, what kinda friend leaves someone they love to suffer alone? Or did ya think I didn’t really care?”

     “...”

     “Silly girl, I am ALWAYS on your side no matter what. Even if I don’t agree with something that doesn’t mean I won’t always be there for you you know? You’re very...special to me.”

     “I-Ikky?”

     “I mean come ooooooon! Who else is gonna make you laugh like I do? Not to mention there’s seriously no one who gets me the way you do! Plus we both reallllly love teriyaki like sooo much! There are still so many flavors we haven’t even tried yet!”

     “Ha-Hahaha!” I can’t help but burst into laughter watching him try so hard to cheer me up. 

     “Yay I totally made you laugh! See? Admit it, you can’t live without me!”

     “You’re totally right, there’s like noooo way I ever could!”

     “You’re not making fun of a god are you? You knoooooow what happens when you doooo!”

     “N-No! D-Don’t Ikky!”

     “Tooo bad! Shoulda thought of that before you decided to mock me!” Ichthys starts tickling me all over making me laugh so hard I nearly pee my pants.

     “Stop! Haha! I surrender! I surrender! Please! Ahahaha! Have mercy!” Thankfully he obliges though we are still laughing. It isn’t till we finally calm down that I realize that amidst the tickling and flailing about I ended up practically nestled in his arms. When our eyes meet my heart starts racing like it always does when I’m this close to Ichthys. He has a beauty about him none of the others share. His nearly androgynous appearance coupled with his boyish charm is dangerous for the heart when in close proximity.  A sudden blush warms my cheeks and trying to distract both of us from that fact I rest my head against his chest like I always do whenever he comforts me through things.

     “I missed you, you know. It feels like ages since we laughed together like this.”

     “Yeah, work has been crazy busy lately and with you dating Zig it hasn’t left us much room for it.”

     “Yeah well, Zyglavis and I aren’t together anymore. Not after....”

     “It’s fine, you don’t have to say it. But don’t you think you at least owe him a chance to explain? I mean, I know Zig can be reeeeally rough around the edges but I promise you he really cares about you a lot.”

     “Yeah? So much so that he kept the fact that he was in love with someone else a secret the whole time WE were dating?!”

     “Woah hey now...don’t overdo it again. I get why you’re upset but those two have always had a..uhh...different kind of relationship.They never ever spoke about it or even displayed the slightest hint but we all knew.”

     “I wish I could have seen it before he broke my heart...”

     “I know. Me too. I totally HATE it when you’re sad and miserable. I feel like I have to really step up my game to make you smile again.” His sincere words bring tears to my eyes but not out of sadness. Our relationship has always been kind of like it’s somehow...bittersweet. We make an incredible pair of friends and god knows he is EXTREMELY gifted between the sheets. My happiness has always been his top priority when we’re together and he’s always the one at my side when one of the others makes a mess of things with me. I wonder if Ikky and I could have been or maybe still can be....lovers. It’s too soon to even think that way but even now the gentle smile on his face...

     ‘I wonder...’ Our eyes meet and just as I’m reaching the part where I always end up looking away, without thinking I lean in and kiss his lips softly. At first I can feel him tense up but he doesn’t pull away either. When our lips part his eyes are wide filled with surprise and a light pink dusts his cheeks.

     “W-What was that for?”

     “I love you Ikky, that’s all.” I tell him truthfully. 

     “L-Love? Umm....you shouldn’t use that word so lightly around me. I may get the wrong idea ya know.” It’s absolutely precious to see him so flustered  I can barely hide my smile. Just as I’m about to say something I feel my babies suddenly become very active. 

     “Uh oh....we might have woken them up!” I smile placing my hands to my belly. When I look at Ichthys there’s a light in his eyes I’ve never seen before as he smiles back.

     “M-May I?” Realizing what he means I take his hand in mine and place it over the area I can feel the most thumping. When I do Ichthys suddenly seems to go into some strange sort of trance, his eyelashes fluttering across his closed eyes. 

     “Ikky? Is everything okay?” He doesn’t answer. When I start to panic I realize his hand is still resting on my stomach. As I look a little more closely I am startled to see that once again a tiny precious little hand is pushing against me from within simply resting against Ichthys’ hand. That’s when it finally dawns on me.

     “Ichthys is the other Father....” I whisper into the air speaking to no one but myself as Ichthys still seems far away. My babies, they are demigods, naturally they both would have some sort of special ability. Zyglavis’ child was able to manipulate light....!!!! Like Daddy manipulates shadows!

     “O-Oh my gosh! It all makes sense!” But wait...what is my other child’s ability? If Ichthys’ ability is to heal wounds....then what? Ichthys suddenly gasps like he hadn’t been breathing the entire time. When our eyes meet it alarms me to see tears streaming down his cheeks.

     “I-Ikky! Are you okay?! What happened?!” Still panting he smiles at me looking strangely relieved, his eyes twinkling from the tears.

     “My child....showed me a future where all of us are happy!”

     “I-I’m not sure I follow...”

     “This isn’t the first time this has happened right? You saw a happy future with some of the others too didn’t you?”

     “I...”

     “You only saw them when you were sad and heartbroken or lonely right?”

     “Errm...yes I...think so?”

     “Don’t you see? My parents have the ability to heal illnesses, I have the ability to heal wounds. Our child has the ability to heal the heart.”

     “Oh...Oh my god! Ikky! I’m...oh my god I’m so happy I...ahaha I’m crying!” As he pulls me into a tight hug I feel like a weight in my heart has started to lift. Ichthys is the Father of my other child. No matter what happens now we are forever bound together by our little miracle. There’s an indescribable happiness simply knowing that.

     “I didn’t realize finding out what our baby’s special ability is would make you soooo incredibly happy! Haha! You’re practically glowing!”

     “Ahaha! That’s not why silly!”

     “Huh?”

     “It’s because I just found out YOU are the Daddy!” 

     “Whaaaa? H-Hey! What’d I tell you about saying that kind of stuff?”

     “Interpret it however you want! The simple truth is I am so happy to have you in my life Ichthys. Even more so now that together the two of us have created this beautiful little life. What’s more precious and wonderful than that?” His smile disappears a moment as he stares at me in wonder. Slowly he reaches out cupping my cheek in his cool hand before giving me a smile that reflects so much more than simple contentment or happiness. 

     “I-Ichthys...”

     “I know I am not Zyglavis. I don’t have Hue’s snarky wit, Leon’s cocky charm, Karno’s eternal guidance or Teo’s beauty, but I mean it when I tell you this. I...I love you. I love you like I never even understood the meaning of the word until you came into my life. Since I met you I felt true joy for the first time. I stopped worrying everyday about my mortality because I was too excited at the thought of what we could do next time we spent time together. You have become irreplaceable to me no matter how you feel now or ever about me. For me there is no world I can exist in without you in it. Even if we only ever stay friends I promise to always be there for you and protect you no matter what. I will never EVER break your heart because you knoooow I can’t stand to see you cry. You’re far too beautiful to ever have to shed tears. I just want you to be happy. Now and forever and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that happens, kay?” I feel terrible especially since he just said he can’t stand to see me cry but how could anyone not after hearing such a confession?

     “Oh Ikky. My precious, darling Ikky.” I sob into his chest, my arms wrapped as tightly as possible around his strong torso. As always he is there just like he promised to hold me and comfort me even now. I’ve been so caught up in my own little world I never saw the love that he harbored for me even though it was right in front of my face.

     “I...I don’t deserve you Ikky. I’m so sorry...for everything.”

     “Sorry? For what? Giving my life purpose? Making me super happy not to mention the happiest daddy in all the world? You are suuuuuuper mean if you’re actually sorry for those things!”

     “Wait what!?”

    “Ahaha! Jooooking!” I can’t help but laugh and playfully punch him in the arm.

     “Now who’s the meanie!”

     “Pffft...Hahaha!” We just hold each other for a while not saying anything. Just simply relieved from being able to talk to each other about everything that’s been weighing so heavily on us. I can’t help but breathe a sigh of contentment.

     “Wellllll.....you are right about one thing.”

     “Oh? What’s that?”

     “I am waaaaaay too good for you!”

     “Wait what!?”

     “I mean seriously, you have a long way to go if you’re ever gonna keep up with me when it comes to teriyaki.”

     “Haha what?!”

     “Just wait till you see all the crazy new flavors I found!”

     “Oh heaven’s help me!”

     “Hey, you’ve got to make sure our son is well fed! If he’s annnnything like me you are in BIG trouble!”

     “I’ll have you know I eat just - ! Wait what did you just say?! Son?!”

     “Yuuuuuup! He showed me a future where we are both happy. Wouldn’t it make sense that he’d be a part of it?”

     “I...haha oh my god! I...I have a son?!”

     “It’s true! Congratulations Mama!”