#and how the hell can you resist peeta mellark

[novemberwasgrey]

I have a ship pattern.

I just had the mind blowing revelation that I love sweet artist x brooding black haired girl pairs and it's not just because of Wenvier.

...I ship Jeankasa and Everlark too.

[hutchhitched]

Naked, Hungover, and Married

Written by: @hutchhitched​

Prompt 63: Katniss and Peeta who are exes wake up together naked, hungover, and married. [submitted by anonymous]

Ratings/Warnings: M

A/N: I’m continuing to post the nine @everlarkficexchange prompts I took and then sat on throughout the early months of the pandemic. Thanks for your patience, and I hope you enjoy. Huge thanks to @javistg for understanding the delays.

_________________

Katniss blinked her eyes open slowly and squinted against the sunlight streaking through the…very unfamiliar bedroom.

 “What the hell?” she grumbled and slapped her hand toward the side of the bed where she hoped she’d find her cell phone. Her head was splitting, and she needed to inhale a gallon of water stat to start the rehydration process. Obviously, she’d had way too much to drink last night.

 “Ow! What the fuck?”

 Spooked out of her mind, Katniss shot upright in bed at the sound of the deep, masculine voice that emanated from under the covers and quickly grabbed the sheet and clutched it to her very exposed, very naked chest. She resisted the urge to glance under the covers. Her stomach sank as she realized she was completely nude and lying in bed with a squirming masculine something or other.

 And if she wasn’t mistaken, that voice sounded really, really familiar. But it couldn’t be. Could it?

 “Shit!” she screeched when Peeta Mellark emerged from the tangled pile of bedclothes and pillows, his blue eyes cloudy with sleep and creases in his skin from where he’d slept with his face pressed into the pillow.

 “Katniss Everdeen?” he mumbled in a gravelly baritone that made her toes curl and tingle. He’d always had a gloriously sexy voice, even when she wanted to claw his eyes out. Most especially when he turned his pouty mouthed, dimpled face to hers and blinked his bluer-than-the-Caribbean eyes at her in an attempt to get what he wanted. “What are you doing here?”

 “I don’t even know where I am!”

 “Stop yelling,” he grumbled and pressed a palm to the spot between his eyebrows. “I have a killer of a hangover.”

 Peeta tossed the covers aside and rolled over so he could sit up. Her mouth gaped open when she realized that, like her, he was completely naked. And his ass. Was. Glorious. Golden skin over plump cheeks so rounded and ripe she wanted to take a bite out of them. She didn’t usually like peaches so firm, but she’d make an exception for—

 “Don’t stand up!” she screeched, intentionally interrupting her very inappropriate train of thought, and threw a pillow at him. Startled, he grabbed it and held it over his crotch but not before she glimpsed his (very impressive, if she did say so herself) morning wood arcing proudly out of a dark blonde thatch of hair between thick, muscular thighs. “Good God. Put some clothes on.”

 If he wasn’t already infuriating, he certainly was when he smirked and ran his gaze over her curled frame hiding under the sheets and blindly groping for her clothes on the floor by the side of the bed.

 “You’re one to talk. Besides,” he added and lowered the pillow so it rested just below the cut of his hips. She couldn’t quite stop herself from glancing at the trail of coarse hair leading from his belly button down to his— “this is my house. I’m not the one naked in a bedroom that’s not mine.”

 She gaped at his ass as he turned and strode across the room to the en suite. Just as he reached the door, he tossed the pillow back toward the bed and entered the bathroom naked as the day he was born. Infuriated at his audacity, she snatched the pillow out of the air and caught a glimpse of her left hand.

 In particular, the ring finger on her left hand. Where a ring graced her finger. Two rings. One a small but beautifully cut diamond and the other—oh shit!—a plain gold band. She was wearing a wedding set.

 “What the fuck?”

 “I thought I told you to stop yelling.”

 Stunned, she tore her gaze away from her hand and gawked at the man standing in the doorway, bare chested and bemused with his long, lean legs half-covered in cutoff sweats and crossed at the ankle. He leaned against the door like he was perfectly at ease. That he was, in fact, used to waking up with naked women in his bed every day of the week.

 And maybe he was. She hadn’t seen Playboy Peeta since back in college, but then again, she hadn’t exactly been spending a ton of time with him since they’d graduated.

 “How the hell are you so calm? I have an engagement ring on. I have a wedding band on!”

 “You’re freaking out.”

 “I am! Join me, won’t you?”

 “Now, why would I want to do that?” he asked and sauntered toward her. The way his abdominal muscles shifted under his skin almost distracted her from his left hand, which he lifted to show—

 “Oh my fucking hell.”

 “Looks good on me, doesn’t it?”

 She sputtered, “B-but th-that’s a wedding ring!”

 “You know, I always told people I was going to marry someone really smart, and you, dear wife, just proved me right,” he said as he plunked down on the edge of the mattress next to her and leaned over to kiss the side of her head.

 “What the actual hell?” Katniss spat and shoved him away from her. “Are you high?”

 “Definitely not high, but I might still be a little drunk.” He stood quickly and swayed a little bit. He stopped and steadied himself with hands out for balance. “Nope. Scratch that. Not drunk but definitely hungover.”

 “You’re insane. I mean, I suspected it before, but now it’s confirmed. You are absolutely nuts.”

 “Thanks for your vote of confidence, but I’m not insane. I am, however, your brand-new husband.”

 Katniss narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Two minutes ago, you didn’t even know why I was here, and now you’re coolly announcing that we’re married. Something doesn’t add up here.”

 “It all came back to me in the bathroom.”

 “You were in there for 45 seconds.”

 “What can I say?” he shrugged and offered an infuriating smile. “Last night was memorable. It didn’t take long for it to all come flooding…”

 He trailed off suggestively, and her mouth fell open. Again. Because seriously. What the fuck?

 “We didn’t do that,” she insisted. “You are disgusting.”

 “Funny. That’s what you said last night right after I cleaned all the, well, you know, off your chest and stomach and from between your legs. You weren’t wrong then either.”

 She started at him, aghast, her mouth hanging open. Memories flickered in erratic flashes, and it wasn’t what she wanted to see. Most were definitely in the vein of what he’d just hinted. Something about him crawling up her body and licking creamy fluid from her belly before moving to her breasts and then devouring her mouth.

 “I’ve got to get out of here. Where the fuck are my clothes?”

 “What?” he asked, mock surprised. “You don’t want your loving spouse to cook you breakfast in bed? It is our honeymoon, after all.”

 She glared at him before biting out, “I. Will. End. You. Where the fuck are my clothes?”

 “You know, if you can’t keep track of your things, maybe you shouldn’t have any.” She raised her face to rip him a new one, but he was dangling her lacy salmon colored tank top from the tips of his long, artistic fingers. She absolutely did not notice the raised veins in his forearms and the size of his palm when she snatched her shirt from him.

 “Can you give me some privacy, please?” she said as primly as possible through her disgust, but he just chuckled and shook his head.

 “You’re priceless. After what we did last night? Playing virginal doesn’t become you, Everdeen.”

 “Yeah, well, if I actually married you, I’m not Everdeen anymore, am I, Mellark?”

 Peeta froze, his eyes wide at her observation, and she took advantage of his surprise to push past him to the relative safety of his bathroom. He didn’t even protest that she’d pulled the sheet from the bed to cover herself when she went.

 A hesitant knock sounded on the door, and she grumbled at him to go away. He repeated his gesture a couple more times before finally growling, “I found the rest of your clothes. At least take them.” She didn’t bother to thank him when she cracked open the door and snatched them from his hand.

 She took her time putting herself back together, long enough for her hands to stop shaking and her heartrate to slow to a slow canter instead of the full-on gallop it had been beating since she woke up next to Peeta Mellark.

 “What the hell happened last night?” she demanded in a harsh whisper. No matter how hard she tried to remember, nothing else came to her for several moments, and then only flashes of a club and the press of bodies and heat and so much alcohol and a really hot man grinding into her on the dance floor. “And this is why you don’t drink more often.”

 When she felt like she had some kind of control over herself, she inched the door open to an empty bedroom. Wadding the sheet into a ball, she tossed it on the bed and scanned the space for her purse and phone and keys. Nothing. They must be in the living room, which meant she couldn’t sneak out the window to avoid seeing that smug bastard.

 She crept down the hall in the direction of what she hoped was the front door. Sounds echoed down the hall, those remarkably like someone cooking, and her stomach grumbled loudly despite her hangover and horror. A sharp sizzle pricked her ears, and she sighed at the scent of freshly brewing coffee and something that smelled distressingly close to thick-cut slices of ham. God, she’d kill for a hunk of cooked pig right now.

 Katniss rounded the corner and glanced furtively around the open room. A small living area, exceptionally neat and beautifully styled, stretched into a chef’s kitchen that held a disheveled, discomfited Peeta with a spatula in one hand and a carton of eggs in the other. When he saw her, he offered a lopsided, apologetic smile.

 “Good morning, officially. I’m making breakfast,” he said and motioned to the barstools on the other side of the island where he was cooking. “It won’t take long.”

 “Oh, uh, ah, I don’t think I can stay,” she stammered and edged to the door by which her purse and shoes sat.

 “Katniss, please,” he asked, suddenly unsure and vulnerable. “I— we—”

 “Very articulate.”

 Peeta had the grace to flush before shoving a riot of blonde curls off his forehead. “Look, Katniss, last night was pretty insane. I agree with that.”

 “Insane, crazy, completely irresponsible, absolutely not what we should have done.”

 Hurt colored his features, and she regretted it for just a second. But then he opened his mouth again.

 “Absolutely what we should have done. We’ve been skirting around each other for years. I, for one, am glad you finally admitted how you feel about me and gave in,” he insisted. “I mean, it’s not what I would have done if we’d been sober, but a quickie elopement is just as good as a big ceremony.”

 She didn’t have words to answer him because, despite understanding every word he said, it seemed like he was speaking a completely different language.

 “Admit how I feel about you?” she scoffed. “I thought that was perfectly clear. I can’t stand you.”

 “That’s not what you said last night.” His tone was stubborn, and his mouth turned down into a frown. “Last night you told me you loved me. That you’ve always loved me since I bought your lunch at the cafeteria that day back in college.”

 “Last night I was blackout drunk! I would have told a monkey I was in love with him.”

 “Katniss,” he started, but she backed away from him.

 “No! I don’t care what you say. I’m not in love with you, and I don’t want to be married to you. We’re not married! Not really. It’s not possible.”

 “But—”

 “Just don’t,” she shouted and grabbed her shoes and purse. “Goodbye, Peeta.”

 And then she was out the door and running. She didn’t really care where. She just needed to be away from those wounded blue eyes and gentle voice that did something to her no matter how much she didn’t want anything to do with Peeta Mellark.

 ****

 The truth was she had loved him at one point. For a brief period during their senior year when she’d given into his charms and slept with him. After he captivated her with his slick words and hooded looks that made way too many other women throw themselves at his feet. She’d been stupid enough to believe him when he told her she was the only one for him, and she’d agreed to be his girlfriend for two deliriously happy months. Until he broke her heart, and she refused to ever speak to him again.

 And it’s not like he hadn’t tried a million times. Peeta had called her, emailed and texted, even shown up on her porch with flowers and some ridiculous present she didn’t give him the satisfaction of opening. She wasn’t going to allow him a chance to hurt her again, not after catching him lip-locked with Cashmere, one of the most beautiful women she’d ever seen. Not even when the woman herself let Katniss know that the kiss had meant nothing to her and that Peeta was still hers if she wanted. Katniss wasn’t going to settle for anybody’s seconds, even if he’d been hers in the first place. Graduation came just a few weeks after that, and she’d managed to avoid him around town in the years since. Now, at twenty-seven, she didn’t care enough about him to notice he seemed to have a different woman with him every time she glimpsed him in public or at an event where their infuriatingly small circle of friends had invited them both.

 God, she must have been hammered to get anywhere near him last night, let alone marrying him and ending up in bed together.

 She was three blocks from his house before she slowed long enough to reach into her purse where, thankfully, her phone rested. Snatching it out, she ignored the notification on her screen and dialed her best friend. When Gale answered, she breathed a sigh of relief.

 “Hey, Catnip,” he greeted her in his deep voice. Amusement echoed over the phone line, and she wanted to smack him.

 “Thank fuck you answered. Where the hell were you last night when I was, apparently, getting plastered and leaving the club with my arch enemy?”

 “You didn’t seem to think he was too bad last night,” Gale laughed, and Katniss almost hung up on him. Unfortunately, she needed to figure out what had happened because she didn’t remember a damn thing that made sense.

 “Seriously, dude. I woke up naked and in bed with him. I wouldn’t do that if I was in my right mind, so tell me what happened. And also, why didn’t you stop me?”

 “Well, shit, Catnip,” her best friend laughed. “You never could resist that guy, but I didn’t think you’d jump into bed with him after one night back together.”

 “Back together?”

 “You really don’t remember anything?”

 “No,” she mumbled, but something pricked at the edge of her memory. Something about running into the back of a stocky, muscular, strong man who she’d leaned into gratefully. He’d been protective when another guy hit on her lewdly, and they’d started talking. Realized they already knew each other. Decided to catch up. Her discomfort at first because…

 Oh god. Because it was Peeta, but she’d been just tipsy enough to be a little forgiving, and he’d looked amazing in his tight green t-shirt that made his skin glow and his eyes tint toward turquoise instead of aqua. And he’s looked so eager and repentant and his smile wide and his touch so gentle and warm.

 “Well, it was entertaining for the rest of us, anyway.”

 “Glad I could make your night better,” she groused. “Now, spill it.”

 “You disappeared for a little while. Thanks for bailing on my birthday, by the way.”

 “Yeah, yeah. I’ll make it up to you,” she snapped.

 “When you didn’t come back, we got worried and went looking for you,” he explained. “Annie went first and couldn’t find you. Then Finnick took a turn and said he’d caught a glimpse of your back at the bar, but you disappeared before he could make his way over to you. So, I went to track you down, and, when I couldn’t find you, Johanna went on the prowl.”

 “Not Jo,” she groaned.

 “Yeah, she found you cuddled up to Mellark in the back room. You were talking in the corner and then kissing and then—”

 “She didn’t know who he was, so she didn’t try to stop me.”

 Gale huffed an irritated sigh. “Jo didn’t stop you because, when she tried, you told her you were getting reacquainted with your former lover and would she please kindly fuck off.”

 “I’m surprised she didn’t bite my head off.”

 “She did, but lover boy stopped her cold. And when he did, you told him to take you home or lose you forever.”

 “I didn’t misquote Top Gun to him,” she insisted. “I wouldn’t disrespect Goose that way.”

 “Apparently, you did, and then you left with him. We tried calling. I would have come and gotten you, but you only answered once, and you were absolutely insistent that you wanted to be with him.”

 “Gale,” she said as patiently as she could, “I was clearly drunk. Maybe not the best time to trust my judgment.”

 “You weren’t drunk.”

 “I woke up hungover!”

 “I paid yours and Peeta’s bar tab. A total of two drinks each.”

 “Then… Oh, good night, nurse,” she gasped. “I remember now.”

 “Well, then fill me in. I wasn’t there for that part of it,” he said, and she could practically hear him roll his eyes.

 “I had a flask in my purse. I stashed it in case you all wanted to stay longer than I wanted to pay for drinks, and I pulled it out and started drinking.” She gulped and groaned, “I came onto him. Asked him to take me to his place. That I wanted to apologize for not listening to him back in college.”

 “And you woke up naked with him? Uh…”

 “No, it wasn’t his fault. I wasn’t that drunk, and he was soooooooo… Dammit, he was so sweet, so apologetic. And then he kissed me.”

 “I don’t really think I need to hear the rest of it, do you?” Gale muttered.

 She snapped her mouth shut. She didn’t need to justify herself or share what had happened between Peeta and her the night before. Suffice it to say that she’d shed her clothes willingly, and they’d both slammed a lot of alcohol.

 “Shit. I’ve got to go.”

 Katniss dropped her phone back in her purse and turned in her tracks. She took a few hurried steps and then ran. She was out of breath by the time she stopped at his stoop, but she knocked while she sucked air into her lungs. It only took a few seconds for him to open the door, and when he did, she wanted to reach for him.

 Hands twitching, she stated, “We’re not really married.”

 “No.”

 “But we slept together.”

 “Well, I didn’t get a lot of sleep—”

 “Peeta!”

 He grinned sheepishly and nodded. “You were kind of insistent about the sex part. I didn’t mind so much.”

 “If I remember correctly, I was very enthusiastic about it.”

 “Yeah.”

 “To be fair, I don’t remember much.” Peeta’s face fell, and she reached out to touch his hand. “But I remember wanting to. It’s the rings that don’t make any sense.”

 He huffed and averted his eyes. Staring over her head at the tree in the front yard, he mumbled, “You wanted to see them. It’s the set I bought when we were in college. I wanted to propose to you, but we’d only been together for a little while. It didn’t matter to me. I already knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, so I bought them and thought I’d bide my time until, until…”

 “Until you kissed Cashmere.” It still hurt to say, regardless of the years that had passed.

 “Until she kissed me,” he protested. “I was telling the truth about that. She came onto me. It surprised the hell out of me, and I was pushing her away when you caught us. I tried telling you that for weeks, but you wouldn’t listen, and then graduation and I didn’t know where you went and—”

 “And I wouldn’t answer any of your attempts to get ahold of me.”

 “Your friends wouldn’t help me, and then I got my job and moved. It wasn’t until I came back last year that I knew how to find you, and you obviously hated me by then. I figured I might as well give up and take what I could get.”

 “That was a lot of women, Peeta.”

 “It might have looked like a lot of women, but none of them held a candle to you. There were so many because none of them got a second date.”

 Katniss wiggled her fingers and then slipped the wedding set off and held them out to him. “You should have these back.”

 His shoulders drooped, and he nodded when she placed them in his palm. He’d already taken his band off. His left hand was bare.

 “If it helps, I thought they looked really good on you,” he said, his voice choked with emotion.

 She smiled gently and took a step off the porch. As she backed away, she called, “Not ready for an engagement, but a date might be nice.”

 His head popped up, and she could see his hopeful gaze from halfway across the yard. “Really?”

 “You free tonight?”

 “Yes!”

 “Let’s try that bar from last night again. This time I’ll introduce you to my friends. 9:00?”

 His smile stretched across his face, and he lifted his fist in triumph.

 “I’ll be there!”

 Katniss turned then and allowed herself a satisfied grin. It wasn’t every day you woke up married and ended up with a date.

[jlalafics]

“Wild”, an Everlark ficlet-Part 1 of 3

For @hungergamesfangirl02, who requested a high school pregnancy Everlark.

Hope you enjoy!

Summary: “Katniss never wanted children. She’s not maternal; the mom gene never developed in her body and it makes perfect sense that she should not go through with this pregnancy.” Rated M.

Trigger Warning: Abortion. Alcohol and Drug Use, Underage Sex

-----

“I just bought a new car

One where the top goes down

So we can see the stars

I wanna take you so far

Out past the Saturn rings

And into my heart…”

—John Legend “Wild”

 Wild

Part One: Months 1 to 3

“I don’t know why we’re even going to this party.”

Katniss reaches for the bottle of vodka, taking a quick sip before walking into Johanna’s closet. Her best friend’s closet is much better than her own paltry selection of clothing and she flips through the selection of dresses before settling on a short olive number with a corset.

“Because it’s Gale’s birthday and that guy has a huge boner for you,” Johanna replies, a rolled joint between her fingers. “He’s like, dying for you to welcome him into adulthood.”

“We’re friends; have been since we were kids.” Katniss pulls her shirt over her head, her jeans following it to the carpet. “I can’t even think about him that way without thinking that our children would come out with extra toes.”

“You’ve thought about children with him?” Johanna cackles as she stands to help Katniss pull the dress on.

“With disgust,” Katniss informs her. “I don’t even want children. My genetics—with the exception of Prim—prove that Everdeens should not breed.”

“I’m not talking about breeding with him. I’m talking about fucking him.” Johanna zips Katniss up before looking at her friend approvingly. “Nice.”

Katniss reaches for a bottle of vodka, taking a deeper swig of the alcohol. She could already feel the rush from the pills she’d taken before coming to the Mason mansion.

“Let’s get this over with,” she tells Johanna. “I don’t want to waste this high on you.”

“Fuck you!” Her best friend throws an arm around her. “You know you love me.”

Katniss grins, pressing a light kiss to Johanna’s lips. “I don’t love anyone else but you and Prim.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble—but I like cock.” Her best friend’s face sobers for a quick moment. “A particular one, but you know how it goes.”

A laugh escapes Katniss’ vodka-lined lips. “Let’s go and forget about cocks for one night.”

“Agreed.” They shake hands before grasping each other’s fingers, then kissing the tops of each other’s hands. “I think the Uber is here.”

They head out, the smell of liquor and weed permeating the room before Johanna takes one last toke of her blunt and closes the door behind her.

++++++

The Hawthornes own a moderately-sized home on the opposite side of town known as the Seam. The great thing is the houses are so far apart that no one even notices the large congregations of cars parked along the street.

The two-story farmhouse is filled to the brim with people. From what Katniss could gauge, it is most of the upcoming senior class. Johanna is already pulling her into the packed house, and Katniss puts up little resistance since the pills are causing everything to move in slow motion.

The calm steadiness from the medication helps her usually-frantic system. Without them, Katniss is hitting highs where she’s doing things like studying the ceiling of her room, counting every single speck on it (last count: 250) or hitting lows where she won’t even bother leaving her bed.

It’s really her mother’s fault for leaving her medications out—in their cabinet—where anyone could just sneak a pill or two.

“Katniss!” They turn to find Gale heading towards them, two blonds flanking his sides. One of them is Marvel, who was on the wrestling team with Gale. The other one is unfamiliar, but his eyes are so brilliantly blue that Katniss is sure that it’s the drugs making them that way.

“Hey!” She gives Gale a smile. “Happy beginning of the end!”

“She means happy birthday!” Johanna pipes in loudly since they’re next to one of the speakers. Katniss smiles at Marvel. “Hey, Marvel.” Then, she looks to the other boy. “Who the hell are you?”

“This is Peeta Mellark,” Gale says. “Just transferred from Capitol High. He’s the newest recruit for the wrestling team. We’ve all been practicing together at the school gym.”

“So, you can pin someone down?” Katniss suddenly asks the boy in front of her.

“I’m not that good, but I’m getting there.” Peeta holds out his hand to her, his blue eyes staring into her hazed greys. “What’s your name?”

She takes it, enjoying the feeling of his warm hand wrapped in hers immediately. “Katniss Everdeen.”

Johanna looks between the two, her dark eyes lighting up devilishly.

“Oh, you two—something’s going to happen here.”

++++++

Katniss hates when Johanna was right.

The thought rushes into her mind as she’s straddling Peeta in his car, the droptop open as they fuck in the middle of the woods twenty or so minutes away from Gale’s party. She can still hear the music as she rocks against Peeta.

It started so innocently.

They had started talking about the upcoming school year; they are in the same AP classes and she tells him about her plans to get the hell out of Panem to UC Berkeley, which is way across the country.

“No shit! I’m going to Berkeley!” Peeta tells her. “I’m planning to go into environmental studies. How about you?”

“Not sure,” she says, looking around the party to distract herself from the closeness of the boy. Katniss knows nothing about him, except for the fact that just standing next to him causes her body to come alive. “Isn’t that what your first two years are for? To decide?”

“True.” Peeta takes another sip from his cup, his cheeks already pink. Katniss thinks it’s adorable—or at least the vodka does. “Tell me about our classmates.”

“I can’t talk shit about them here,” she counters. “You have a car?”

Peeta nods. “Across the street.”

Katniss takes his hand, entwining their fingers. “Let’s go and I’ll tell you all about them.”

He looks to her as they head out of the party. “Gale tells me that you’re trouble.”

“Gale has been wanting to get into my pants for years,” she retorts when they reach his car. “Of course, he’d say that to someone I’m interested in.”

“You’re interested in me?” Peeta asks as he opens the door for her.

“I am trouble,” Katniss informs him. “And I am.”

++++++

They never get to talking about their classmates.

Instead, Peeta opens the top of the car and Katniss is immediately thrilled by the cool wind hitting her cheeks. She curls up in her seat, head thrown back as she stares up at the black sky filled with stars; they seem so much brighter tonight.

The car is speeding up and she holds her arms out unafraid—because she’s flying high with this beautiful boy beside her.

She looks to him and sees the hunger in his gaze as he watches her.

Katniss points to a clearing on the side of the road and Peeta immediately turns, the tires squealing as the car enters the forest.

As soon as he parks the car, Katniss is on him, her thighs straddling him in his seat as she leans down to kiss him. Peeta responds eagerly, his hand reaching for the nape of her neck to deepen the kiss and she moans, feeling her center twisting almost painfully.

Every part of her consciousness whispers in her ear: ‘Take him, fuck him, make him yours…’

“You’re driving me wild,” Peeta says against her skin, his lips going to her neck as his hands travel down her arms.

Her own hands are already reaching to pull his cock out from his jeans and she’s happy to know that he is well-endowed—thick and just the right length. She could really care less about length; it’s the width that she craves. She loves feeling of every ridge of a cock filling her up; she loves the fullness of her cunt hugging a thick one.

“That’s a good thing,” Katniss says as she strokes him, her hand moving rapidly up and down. He’s practically humping her hand. “Just let yourself feel, Peeta.”

She thanks her foresight for deciding on barely-there underwear as she moved the scrap of cloth away from her slit and plunges down onto his length.

“Fuck!” Peeta feels unbelievable and Katniss wants nothing more than to feel him as deep as she can. She rides him, listening to him moan and call out her name. His hands are on her hips, guiding her as he thrusts up. “Yes, like that Peeta…”

“You’re unbelievable,” he says against her ear. “Like you were made for me.”

The timbre of his voice, so thick with desire, drives her to move faster. She loses herself in the feel of him, telling him every dirty thing that she wants them to do together; how she wants him to fuck her mouth and how she wants him to ride his face till he’s drenched in her slick…

Peeta comes when she tells him that she wants to call him Daddy.

She climaxes, feeling his come fill her, his blue eyes wild and lost in his own orgasm.

As they come down, they cling to one another, not quite ready to move, just enjoying the feeling of togetherness and feeling like there’s no one else in the world right now but them.

++++++

School starts without a hitch and Katniss and Peeta’s little tryst is put aside as they enter their senior year.

The morning after was not awkward at all; she simply kissed him and offered to pay for breakfast. They drive up to a Wendy’s and eat in the parking lot before he dropped her off at Johanna’s house where she was supposed to be sleeping over.

Peeta asks for her number and she gives it to him before kissing him chastely goodbye.

They even have classes together; they get paired together in Miss Trinket’s World Cultures class. They work on their presentation on Brazil, her hand moving along his thigh with their ankles twisted together.

They never fuck, though—on more than one occasion—one of them catches the other alone for a mind-blowing kiss in a deserted hallway.

She goes to wrestling matches with Johanna on the pretense of supporting the team, but it’s mostly to watch Peeta. She can tell that Gale is pissed at her; he’s not exactly looking at Peeta like a friend anymore ever since Johanna pointed out how Peeta left with Katniss during his party.

“Oh Katniss…I can see why you let him fuck you,” Johanna says as they watch Peeta wrestle someone from the opposing team. “Look at that ass.”

She sighs, her nipples aching in remembrance. “I never got a chance to do anything with his ass, but if it’s as good as his cock—then it’s best to leave it as it is.”

“You should let him take you out,” Johanna tells her.

“No. We’ve got a good thing going on,” Katniss insists. “I don’t need anything more.”

However, she embarrassingly stands up and cheers when he wins the match.

Their eyes meet and the smile he gives her tells her that she’s playing with fire.

++++++

Another month has passed, and Katniss realizes that she hasn’t had her period.

Her breasts hurt, but the blood has not come.

“How could you not realize that you haven’t had your period?” Johanna asks as they sit in her bathroom, waiting for the test results on the store bought pregnancy test. “Also, have you not heard of emergency contraception?”

“I spent the rest of that weekend in front of this very toilet,” Katniss tells her tightly. “I wasn’t exactly in the right mindset.”

“How are you going to tell your mother?” her friend continues to prod.

“I’m not,” she replies. “I’m just going to have it taken care of—if I am.”

“You are.” Johanna picks up the test to show her the bold pink plus sign. “Are you going to tell him?”

“No—” Katniss coughs back her tears. “I told you. I’m taking care of it.”

However, when her best friend takes her in her arms, she can’t help but cry.

++++++

“How’s school?” Katniss asks Prim, her younger sister, over breakfast.

“Okay.” Prim digs into her pancakes and looks to Katniss. “Aren’t you hungry?”

“I have toast.” Katniss holds up the piece. The nausea has come full force and so she’s sticking to things that won’t make her head fall into a toilet for the millionth time. “Anything cool happening?”

“How many cool things happen in middle school?” her sister retorts with a smile. “We are having a school dance next week.”

Katniss sits next to her. “Do you have a date?”

“I’m going with Rory and Rue and bunch of our friends,” Prim informs her. Rory is Gale’s younger brother and Rue has been friends with Prim since Pre-K. “Hey Katniss? Who’s Peeta Mellark?”

“A guy at my school,” Katniss replies in surprise. “Why?”

“Rory says that Gale’s all bent out of shape because you two apparently were together at his party,” her sister informs her. “And he called this morning.”

Katniss had stopped replying to his texts after finding out she was pregnant.

“I heard that his family is rich,” Prim tells her. “Like, they have some big real estate company and own most of the retail lots in Chicago and Washington D.C.” Her sister bounces in her seat, blonde hair moving with her. “Does he like you?”

“He’s nice and we hung out. That’s about it.”

“But he called you and seemed really nice on the phone,” Prim continued. “Rue and I looked him up on Facebook. He’s really cute.”

“I agree. He is cute.” So was his cock, but that was neither here nor there. “But you know relationships with boys like that never work out with girls like me. We barely make enough for rent and Mom has to work all the time. I’m just lucky that I got a full scholarship for Berkeley.”

“You’re like Star-Crossed Lovers!” Prim squeals, her blue eyes dreamy.

“You know they die at the end,” Katniss points out.

Her sister snorts. “You’re no fun.”

++++++

The Friday of Prim’s school dance, Katniss finds herself at Johanna’s again. There’s no weed or vodka tonight. Instead, she is sitting in her bathroom; her best friend giving her a moment to herself. Katniss sits on the lid of the toilet, two packets of pills in each of her hands: mifepristone and misoprostol—or Pill 1 and Pill 2 for her convenience.

There’s an unopened bottle of water next to her; she’s wearing her favorite pair of sweats and the oversized sweater that she kept that was her Dad’s. It was the only things she kept of his after he died. She is prepped, wearing a pad as the clinic instructed and Johanna has a heating pad if she needs it.

All she must do is take the pills.

It had been unbelievably easy to get them, a simple exam telling her that she’s entering her third month of pregnancy and that the blood tests look fine. She’s been screened for STDs and has come out clean—good to know—and is in perfect health.

The doctor at the clinic tells her that it’s better to do this somewhere comfortable so she goes to Johanna’s—she can’t imagine being at home waiting to abort—and she needs her friend’s support.

Johanna welcomes her—they have always had each other’s backs.

She opens the first packet of Pill 1 and then places it on the counter before opening the bottle of water.

Katniss holds the pill in her hand—she easily finds her way to pills…but something holds her back.

“You have to understand.” She’s not sure who she is reasoning to. “I’m only seventeen. I barely know your Dad. You will ruin everything…” Katniss says the last part shakily. “I don’t mean it like that. I mean—I have so many plans and I don’t know how to fit you into them.”

Her hand reaches for that first pill and her fingers tremble.

“Just fucking do it!”

Katniss has no idea why she is crying. Maybe it’s because she can picture her father’s sad eyes staring at her before they morph into Peeta’s lovely blues. She can already tell that Peeta might love her—but love is for suckers and she knows she only has the capability to hurt.

She’s already hurting him—the one in her stomach that she’s supposed to be getting rid of.

Katniss never wanted children. She’s not maternal; the mom gene never developed in her body and it makes perfect sense that she should not go through with this pregnancy.

She tells herself this as she flushes Pill 1 down the toilet.

“You have no idea what you’re fucking doing!”

Katniss tells herself this through her sobs as she takes Pill 2, opens the case, and flushes it down the toilet as well.

There’s a buzz on her phone; it’s Peeta.

Perfect fucking timing: ‘Please talk to me.’

She responds immediately, ‘I’m at Johanna’s house. Can you pick me up?’

Texting him her friend’s address, his response comes in less than a minute:

‘I’m already outside.’

End of Part One

 *I should be updating this every other day. 

[everlarkbirthdaygifts]

Happy Birthday, booksandeverlark!

Today, we wish @booksandeverlark a very Happy Birthday! We hope you’re having a wonderful day so far, full of cake and presents! To keep your party going a little while longer, the lovely @historywriter2007​ has written a story just for you!

Happy Birthday booksandeverlark!  I hope you had a fantastic day and that you enjoy your story.

Maybe He Wasn’t  My Always

Rated T

-------------------------

The small town of Panem hasn’t changed much in the past 10 years since Katniss left. She hadn’t planned to be away for so long but after college she was offered an amazing job from the company where she had interned and she couldn’t resist. It wasn’t until Prim begged her to come home that she took an inventory of her life and realized she was miserable. Her friends were as fake as their silicone boobs and no matter how much money she was making she never seemed to feel like she was happy. Even though growing up all she could ever think about was not having to worry about where her next meal came from, now she could have anything she wanted but it left her feeling more empty. At least she found joy knowing she was helping Prim through medical school but now that she was heading into her residency and they ended up with a large inheritance from her distant uncle, who had no heirs, she could take a pay cut and come back home to be with her sister.

As she was heading to meet her friend Madge her phone dinged with a request of coffee and cheese buns. Katniss knew she would need to go to one place to get those, Mellark’s Bakery. She hoped she could avoid the place for a few days until she got used to the idea of being home and close to her longtime crush, who happened to run the bakery now, but it looked like a very pregnant Madge had a different idea. And of course, as her luck would have it, Peeta was working the front desk.

“Katniss, I heard you were home. Are you back for good?” He asked with a huge smile on his face.

She wondered if he always looked so happy to see someone. “I am, Prim begged me to come home and I found a job nearby. How’s the business?”

“It’s great actually. What can I get for you?”

“I’m meeting Madge, she wants a decaf and cheese buns.”

Peeta nodded and gathered the first items before placing another cup on the counter. “And, you’ll have cheese buns and a hot chocolate?” Peeta added.

Katniss smiled, “You remembered.”

Peeta’s cheeks reddened. “I remember a lot of things about you.”

Before Katniss could respond the door dinged letting them know the bakery had a new visitor. The woman was wearing scrubs and had beautiful red hair and green eyes, but she was carrying a baby boy who was the spitting image of Peeta. She smiled and walked right past Katniss to hand the baby off to Peeta, who took him without question. After a few minutes of hello’s with the boy, he turned to Annie.

“Annie, this is my old friend Katniss.”

Annie half smiled, “It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.” She looked her up and down before turning back to Peeta, “Don’t forget I have the late shift tomorrow.”

“Got it.” He answered.

She dropped a diaper bag at his feet and turned to walk away.

Katniss tried to smile, but her heart felt like it was constricting. Peeta didn’t seem to notice as he tried to introduce the baby to Katniss.

“Jake, can you say hi to my friend Katniss?” The baby cuddled more into him, “he’s a bit shy.” Peeta said.

“I remember someone else who was shy,” Katniss mentioned thinking back on the boy who would turn away anytime she looked his direction.

“I was only shy with a few people,” He added, pink twinging his cheeks like it did when they were in high school.

Katniss didn’t want to think about what he was trying to say, it was too late for her to even try to get him now. Maybe if it was only a girlfriend she would be alright with thinking of ways she could win his heart away, but not if she was destroying a family. “I need to go, I’m late to meet Madge.” She didn’t give him a chance to answer, as she left the bakery.

Katniss struggled to stay away from Peeta, but in a small town, it was nearly impossible to avoid someone. She played hide and seek with him in the aisle of the grocery store watching him fill his cart with diapers and formula. He even showed up at the park when she was with Madge and her oldest child. Madge’s comments on how good he was with Jake were the last thing she needed. It was hard enough to see him happily play with his boy knowing she would never be a part of it with him. She never thought she wanted children, but seeing him as a father made her rethink her stance.

At least she had avoided Annie, that was until she met Prim for her dinner break a week after she arrived home. Katniss watched the woman pay for her food and walk to a nearby table. Prim followed her gaze and gave Katniss a confused look.

“Why are you shooting daggers at Annie?” Prim asked.

“I am not.” Katniss spit back.

Prim narrowed her eyes, “First of all you are a shitty liar, so don’t even try it with me. Second, if you had your bow I’m pretty sure she’d be dead so what’s going on?”

Katniss sighed, she knew Prim wouldn’t give up until she told her the truth. “You know that I had a crush on Peeta growing up.”

Prim scoffed, “Katniss, the whole town knew. We also all knew that Peeta had a crush on you too. The only two who didn’t seem to know were you two.”

Katniss scowled at her, “Well, now that he’s with Annie there’s nothing I can do about that. Especially since they have a child together.”

Prim busted into laughter, which made Katniss angry, “What the hell are you laughing at?”

“You. They aren’t together. In fact, she’s dating the hottest doctor in the hospital.”

“But she came in with Peeta’s baby.” Katniss refuted.

Prim shook her head. “Do you ever listen to me when I’m telling you about home?” Katniss didn’t answer, she just looked at her willing her to continue. “Do you remember when I told you about Peeta’s brother?”

Katniss nodded, she remembered Prim telling her about a car accident that claimed Peeta’s oldest brother, Brandon and his wife. She even sent Peeta a message sending her condolences.

“Well, Peeta had been named as their son’s guardian. Annie was Brandon’s wife’s sister. She wanted to make sure Jake knew that side of the family too so she takes him for a night every now and then and watches him when she can.” Prim shoved a forkful of salad into her mouth, giving Katniss time to register everything she said.

“So Peeta’s single?” Katniss asked.

Prim looked at her incredulously, “Yes. He’s single and I talked to him this morning. He was really hoping he would have been able to talk to you more but felt like you were avoiding him. I’m sure he’s really confused, especially since I told him about your crush before you come home.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because you both needed a kick in the ass to make your moves. Now, you need to get to the bakery before it closes. Doctors orders.”

Katniss smiled and hugged her sister then did as she was told. When did she get so bossy?

The sign said closed, but she could see Peeta cleaning the tables by the window. She knocked to get his attention, he looked up and gave her a smile before opening the door and letting her in.

“Hey, did you need something?” He asked.

“No, but I know you talked to Prim andI need to tell you something. I’m sorry.” She said.

Peeta looked confused, “Why are you sorry?”

“You were right. I’ve been avoiding you.”

“Katniss, it’s fine. I know you didn’t want kids and now that I have Jake things are different. You know Prim told me about your crush and even though I would love for us to try if you still don’t want kids I understand. I’m not expecting anything from you.”

“But that is not the reason I’ve been staying away. I thought you and Annie were together and that Jake was yours.” Katniss admitted.

“You know that’s not true right? I mean technically Jake’s mine now, but I’m not with anyone.” Peeta responded.

“I know that now. Prim told me everything. And I’ve changed my mind on kids.”

Peeta moved a bit closer, “That’s good to know. Does that mean if I asked you to dinner that you’d take me up on the offer?”

Katniss decided to make a move, she got on her tiptoes and placed a soft quick kiss on his lips. “I’d love to, but first I want a proper meeting with Jake.”

“Deal. I have a feeling you two will get along well.” Peeta said with a smile.

[sunflowerslyf]

Summary: After getting herself trapped in an unwanted mess, Katniss meets a familiar face at work. Through her stubbornness, she finally decides that the familiar face is the answer to her problem.

Rated M for potty language and sexual themes.

-

Author’s Note: So, this little one is finally here!! Sorry if this took a while but I had no inspiration for a few weeks. Thanks to my beta @booksrockmyface for being amazing in making this way, way better and for giving me advice when I was stuck💖

Read chapter one Here or on AO3 or ff.net

-

CHAPTER TWO

-

Katniss picked up her ringing phone to see Madge was calling to Facetime her.

She really didn’t want to be caught slacking in on work, but nobody really cared if she went away for a few minutes. She grabbed her phone and retreated to the side of the vending machine.

“You called?”

Madge’s beaming face popped up on her phone screen.

“Oh my god, I still can’t believe this.” Madge muttered before she turned to her on the screen. “Katniss, listen up. One of my cousins just moved here to New York after accepting a job offer last week. He also came from Panem like you…” Madge trailed off.

“…and I should care because?” She raised an eyebrow at Madge. She didn’t really care if Madge’s cousin moved to New York from Panem too, she sure as hell wasn’t going to socialize and try to be friendly.

“Did I tell you that he, what was that again?” The blue eyes looked away from the phone momentarily before zoning in on the screen again. “Oh, just that he has very blonde hair and very blue eyes?”

She told Madge and Johanna about what exactly she had said to Prim. And after laughing at her stupidity, they both decided to help her out and refrained from telling Prim the truth. It meant a lot to her that they were actually willing to help her out.

“Shit, really? Madge, I better meet him!” She sounded desperate and it wasn’t like her at all.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got it all covered. I already talked to him and he’s willing to help you as long as he gets something good out of it.” Madge said.

“Anything, Madge. Tell him I’ll give anything.”

“I will but maybe later because it’s his first day at work today and I really don’t want to distract him right now.”

“Sure. Thank you Madge! I owe you big time!”

“It’s no problem. Just please promise me one thing. Promise that you won’t hold back at being happy at least for once in your life and do something for yourself once this mess is over.”

Someone called Katniss and she turned to the sound of her name. Needing to end the call, she didn’t think twice before answering Madge.

“I promise.”

-

She avoided talking or looking at Peeta for the rest of the day. Katniss was still really pissed at him. From the café, to what happened earlier, her irritation still hadn’t subsided. But that didn’t mean that she succeeded.

Many times she would be caught staring at him and she would be rewarded with one of his cocky grins. It really got on her nerves. She had to admit though, the guy was a work of perfection. Those muscular arms that looked so delicious, she wanted to run her tongue over them. The thick hands that worked skillfully on his desk, like how skillfully he did her. Damn, she should really snap out of it and focus on doing her work.

A few hours later she received a message from Madge when she was about to scan her ID to sign out of work.

[Madge]

He said he’s willing to meet up for dinner later at Sae’s if that’s ok with you

Katniss checked the time on her phone which read 5:34 pm before replying.

[Katniss]

Sae’s is good. 8?

She finished scanning her ID and left for the parking lot of their office. She looked around, trying to figure out where she left her car parked when she realized that she actually commuted to work.

Letting out a groan, she made her way back to the office when suddenly she was halted in her movements.

Can’t I escape him, even for just a second?

There, Peeta Mellark stood leaning on his car, typing out something on his phone. He was very concentrated on what he was typing that for a second, he didn’t notice Katniss who was stood there like an idiot. When he was finished typing, he looked up at her and his eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Hey.” He greeted her and yet she remained there gawking at him. She was suddenly tongue-tied after realizing that she stood there like a stalker, waiting for him to notice her.

It’s rude of her, really, but she resorted to her easiest option at that moment. She ran away from him without saying so much as a hey back.

Right when she’s outside of the office and away from Peeta, she received another message from Madge.

[Madge]

8 is ok for him. Said he’ll see you later.

Katniss placed her phone back into her bag and entered the cab. She’ll have to go home and take a warm shower before preparing to talk to a complete stranger and asking him to be her fake boyfriend to show her sister. Definitely not creepy.

-

After her shower, Katniss donned a modest burgundy dress with sleeves that reached her elbows and a hem that hit her right below the knee. She didn’t want to seem overdressed for the occasion but she also wanted to look nice for the man she was going to ask a favor from and for the restaurant that was quite fancy.

She really only agreed to go to Sae’s restaurant because she knew that Madge had come from a wealthy family and if this guy was Madge’s cousin, then he could’ve been from a wealthy family too.

“Let me guess, hot date?” Johanna snickered once Katniss had descended the stairs.

Katniss snorted. “Not even close.”

As she was leaving the house, her phone pinged from her purse signaling another message from Madge. Since Madge wasn’t home earlier, they’d been texting each other about the details instead. She did wonder why Madge wouldn’t just give her this guy’s phone number, but she’s actually grateful for it since it would probably be very awkward.

[Madge]

He’s already there, said he’s seated at the very corner wearing a blue shirt.

[Katniss]

Thanks Madge, it means a lot.

She didn’t wait for Madge’s reply to her message, if there was ever one.

When she got into Sae’s restaurant, she was met with smooth white tablecloths, dim chandeliers that were hung low, few lit candles and staff that sported suits and dresses. It was too fancy for her liking. And too romantic for the occasion, if she was going to be honest.

She searched the restaurant for the corner seat and she found the man who is most definitely Madge’s cousin. The blue shirt is present and there’s a blonde mop of curls on his head. But he had his back to her so she couldn’t see his face right away.

She smoothed out an imaginary crease on her dress and made her way to the table where the man she’s about to meet waited with his hands linked together. The click clack of the heels she’d reluctantly chosen are visibly heard and she puts on the biggest smile she can muster before turning to the man and holding out her hand.

“Hi.”

Her smile immediately faltered when she saw the man’s face. The face she couldn’t escape for the past three days. Peeta.

Those enticing blue eyes gazed up at her and his eyebrows raised slightly as a look of pure shock covered his face.

‘Why didn’t I piece it all together until now?’ Katniss thought.

From when Madge called her saying that the man came from Panem, Katniss had known that Peeta came from Panem, to when Haymitch introduced him to her. When Madge told her that it was her cousin’s first day at work, it was also Peeta’s first day. When she went to that parking lot and stared at him like an idiot when he was typing a message, which she figured was to Madge because she received a message just a few moments later. In that parking lot, Peeta was wearing the same blue button down shirt he was wearing right now. And the fact that he had blonde hair and blue eyes. How could she have been so stupid?

She dropped her hand to her side and she could feel Peeta’s eyes burning through her skin when they swept on her from head to toe.

“Hey.” He grinned at her but it wasn’t one of his annoying smiles that teased her throughout the day. It was a sincere one, one that she hadn’t seen so far.

She plopped down on the seat opposite of him and fixated her stare on the plate in front of her.

“I guess you know why I’m here by now.” She sighed. Katniss didn’t want to be seen as vulnerable, especially when it was Peeta seated before her.

“Because you couldn’t resist me?” The teasing voice was back but when she looked up to his eyes, there was hesitation in them. She wasn’t sure why, but she didn’t want to find out anymore. She had humiliated herself enough.

Thankfully, a waiter approached their table with menus and she had an excuse to leave his statement unanswered. They both placed their orders and after the waiter left, an awkward silence consumed them.

Katniss looked anywhere but at Peeta as she tried to find an exit. Key word tried. She knew she had to deal with this mess, she’s the one who got herself into it in the first place. It would be rude of her to just leave after ordering and force Peeta to pay for a meal she didn’t even eat. Sure, he was a douche but she wasn’t that kind of person.

She only had four days left before Prim would be in New York. So, pissed or not, she’d have to ask Peeta if he’s willing to play along with her. If not, she’ll suck it up and tell Prim the truth even if that wasn’t an option at the moment.

“Since we’re not at work anymore, can we finally talk about that night, Katniss?” His sparkling eyes plead with her. It took everything in Katniss to resist kissing him then and there.

“What’s there to talk about, Peeta? Why does it bother you so much?” When he didn’t reply, she found the strength to look straight into his eyes and continued.

“I came here for one thing, and one thing only. Now, if you don’t want to get involved in this mess, please just tell me already. But if you do, then tell me too so I’m aware of how I’m going to pay you back.”

She diverted her gaze down to her fingernails that were covered in green chipped polish from when Prim coerced her to paint her nails. She had no idea what she was doing here, or hell, why she just asked Peeta to be her boyfriend when she was supposed to be mad at him. She was about to open her mouth and take back what she said and run out of there as fast as she could when he beat her.

“I’ll be your boyfriend.” Her head snapped up to meet his eyes as her jaw dropped.

“I–what?” She blinked repeatedly.

“I’ll be your boyfriend, on one condition.”

Katniss’ eyes remained wide as she waited for the condition. She was supposed to be prepared for whatever he had in mind but nothing can prepare her for what comes out of his mouth.

“I want a date. Just one date after the entire pretending.”

She finally closed her mouth after gaping like a fish and opened them again to speak. “But you’ll be with me the entire time before that… I don’t understand?”

“I mean a real date, Katniss.”

She figured that one date wouldn’t hurt, it was what her sister asked of her but it was also what got her into this mess. She’ll be ending this all with one date too. Just one date. Her sister’s trust on her depends on this.

So she accepted. “Okay. One date.”

“One date.” Peeta repeated with a smile.

-

“You didn’t tell me that your cousin was Peeta Mellark.” Katniss accused.

“I didn’t think you knew him.”

Katniss kicked off her heels. Madge didn’t need to know how she already knew Peeta because that would be too embarrassing to tell even a best friend. But she didn’t doubt that she could trust Madge to at least not laugh at her.

“I don’t. I mean, I do know him but just…” She sighed.

“Don’t tell me he was one of your one night stands.” Madge’s eyes widened slightly. “God, he’s such a catch. If only he wasn’t my cousin.”

Katniss ignored the latter statement. “We didn’t! I mean he did, no, I…” She exhaled a big breath and scrunched her eyebrows together. There was no better way of saying it. “He went down on me at the back of that bar we went to.”

“Damn.”

A voice replied from behind her, which clearly didn’t come from Madge. Both Katniss and Madge taken by surprise faced a newly awake Johanna who leaned on the door frame.

“Finally! Brainless is getting some action.” Johanna trudged toward them. “It gets tiring to be the only one bringing a guy home. You bringing him over here?”

“The real question, Jo, should be how Katniss here knows my cousin Peeta.” Katniss just stared blankly at them.

“Peeetaaa. That’s a weird name. You sure your cousin isn’t some sort of creep?” Johanna asked while raising an eyebrow.

“Definitely not! In fact, he’s the kindest, most down-to-earth person I’ve ever met. He pretty much don’t have any flaws.” Madge said, leaning her chin on her palm.

Kindest, most down-to-earth person? She snorted and both of her roommates’ eyes turned to her.

“So, how exactly did you know Peeta otherwise?” A mischievous smile showed up on Madge’s glossy pink lips as she wiggled her perfectly shaped eyebrows.

“He’s my new coworker.”

Both eyes waited expectantly for her to continue. But she didn’t.

“That’s it? What about that ‘thing at the back of a bar’ that I heard earlier?” Johanna asked.

“Well yeah, that happened first.” She took in a deep breath while trying to figure out how exactly she was going to say the story of how she knew Peeta.

“Then we met again at the cafe down the street the following day, where I had to go back here to finish my job because he was distracting me.” Mischievous grins appeared on both Madge’s and Johanna’s faces when the word distracting left Katniss’ mouth.

“Unfortunately for me, I see him again at work because as it turns out, he’s the new guy and I’m responsible for showing him around which was actually very fun because he still wouldn’t shut up about that night at the bar…” She pointed to the window as if the bar she was talking about was there.

-

“This is the new guy I was talking about earlier, sweetheart. Meet Peeta Mellark. He’ll be working with you from now on. You’re also in charge of showing him around.”

Katniss’ eyes went from Haymitch to Peeta who had a smirk directed at her. She was sure that her eyes were bulging out of her head.

“Peeta, this is my assistant Katniss Everdeen.” Trying to be professional, she offers him a tight smile which would probably look more like a grimace.

“Nice to meet you, Ms. Everdeen.” He looks amused as he offered his hand to her.

“You too, Mr. Mellark.” She shaked his hand.

Haymitch flicked his eyes back and forth between them before grunting and walking away from them, his silver flask back onto his lips.

“Follow me and I’ll show you to your office… Mr. Mellark.” She avoided his eyes as she strutted away from where they stood with his heavy footsteps right behind her.

Peeta slightly quickened his pace until he was walking beside her. Katniss kept her gaze straight ahead as Peeta broke the silence.

“Tell me if I’m mistaken but I remember you walking out on me yesterday. Quite rude of you, wasn’t it?” He grinned at her which made those damn dimples appear. Katniss wanted so badly to wipe them away.

She ignored him and instead focused on the annoying clacking sound that her heels were making. They were the only distraction she had at this point.

“So you’re just gonna act like nothing happened? Is that it?” Peeta stopped walking now.

She blinked then stopped in her tracks. Letting out a deep exhale, she planted on her fiercest scowl before turning to him.

“I’m sorry Mr. Mellark, I’m trying to be as professional as possible. So if you don’t have anything to say that is related to work, then I suggest you just keep your mouth shut.” She’s astounded at the sudden burst of confidence that washed over her but didn’t regret anything she said as the smile on Peeta’s face faded.

-

“…and earlier, I see him again at Sae’s because lucky me, he’s also Madge’s cousin who also came from my hometown Panem and the guy who’s willing to fake date me. And that all went downhill at dinner.” Her hands dropped to the hem of her oversized shirt that matched the hue of her eyes as her friends’ faces remained void of any reaction.

“So yeah, he’s definitely the kindest, most down-to-earth person I’ve had the privilege of meeting.”

The two pairs of eyes that belonged to her roommates remained fixated on her. She was waiting for them to say something, anything just to break the silence that suddenly consumed the entire room.

‘Oh god, is Madge angry? Peeta’s her cousin after all,’ Katniss thought.

“Oh my god.” Madge said as if coming to a realization.

“What?” She was confused. What the hell was going on?

“You like him.” Madge grinned.

“I–” Madge cut her off.

“You like Peeta. Oh my god, I knew it!” Madge exclaimed like a giddy teenager.

“What? I don’t like him. In fact, if you haven’t noticed, I’m damn pissed at him.” She narrowed her eyes to prove her point.

“No you aren’t.” Madge waved her hands in the air. “As a matter of fact, you like him so much that you’re using hate to cover up your crush on him!”

“You watch too many rom-coms, Madge.” She looked to Johanna for help but Jo just shrugged.

“Sorry brainless, but I’m with Madge this time.”

This fueled more anger on Katniss’ part. After everything that had happened, even if he was willing to help her out, she hated Peeta. No, she despised him.

Didn’t she?

[xerxia31]

Finding Home 2

I wrote a little story called Finding My Way Home last year for ms2sl, and even though I was satisfied with how that story ended, I’ve had this itch to write the day after ever since. Sometimes, you just have to give in. So, here’s the continuation that no one asked for. Rated E. You know why.

Finding my way Home, Part 2

rated E

o-o-o

The drive home is quiet. We are both exhausted after five days with Peeta's family. And after all of that mayhem, the silence feels welcome. But it leaves me far too much time in my head. Far too much time to worry that what we've shared won't survive when we rejoin our real lives.

Even when we stop for a quick meal we barely talk. But we hold hands under the table, and that reassures me.

So when Peeta drops me off at my apartment I'm confused. Standing at my door, holding my bag, he slumps against the frame. “I'll see you tomorrow?” he asks.

“You're not coming in?” It's not even eight yet.

“I'm so tired, Katniss,” he whispers, and I swallow my disappointment. As hard as this weekend was for me, I know it was so much worse for him.

“Okay, yeah.” I say, then fidget uncomfortably. Do I hug him goodnight? Kiss him? Three years of being best friends, not quite twenty-four hours of being more - I have no idea how to act.

He saves me from my awkwardness, leaning down to kiss me, just lightly, and I practically melt. He pulls away and meets my eyes. “I love you,” he says.

“I love you, too,” I whisper. And then he leaves.

After four nights sharing a bed with Peeta, my own bed feels cold and lonely. Though we hadn't discussed anything this morning, nor during the long drive home, I guess I thought he'd stay with me. That we might pick up where we left off this morning.

That he'd at least want to.

o-o-o

Mondays are always rough, and a Monday after having missed three workdays the week before is a special kind of hell. But the benefit of being too busy to stop or eat or even breathe is that I'm also too busy to ruminate.

It's six-thirty by the time I shut down my computer and grab my car keys. For the first time all day, my phone chimes with a message from Peeta. <<Text me when you're done at work>>.

I send back a quick <<Just leaving now>> and toss the phone in my purse. I refuse to overthink this.

When I get home, I find Peeta standing in the hallway outside my apartment door, leaning against the wall, head hanging. Twin emotions flood me; the swell of gratitude for his unwavering presence in my life that I always feel when I see him, and a kind of sick dread at the sight of his slumped, defeated posture. He turns at the sound of the stairwell door closing behind me, and his whole countenance changes. He straightens, and his face lights up. I can't resist returning his smile, confused though I am.

Only when I move closer do I notice that he's holding a bunch of flowers. “Hi,” he says, reaching for me, and I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him tight, breathing him in. The familiarity soothes me; Peeta Mellark is the best hugger. For all of the time we've been friends, his arms have been there to comfort me. The emotional roller coaster threatens to unhinge me. “Can I come in?” he murmurs against my hair and I laugh, a watery little sound.

He pulls away, concern crinkling his brow, but I shake my head and unlock the door. It's largely symbolic though; Peeta has his own key, he didn't have to wait for me in the hallway. “Why didn't you let yourself in?” I ask, blinking back tears before he can see them.

“A gentleman shouldn't let himself into a lady's home uninvited.”

I scowl. “Peeta, I've invited you in a hundred times, you have a key for heaven’s sake!” I turn to face him fully, confused and flustered. Why is he acting so strange? So stiff and formal? “What's going on?” It's barely a breath; I feel so intensely vulnerable. I have precious little experience in dating, if that's what this is now, but I didn't expect things to feel so uncomfortable between us.

Instead of answering, he hands the flowers to me. “These are for you.” Lavender roses and larkspur, soft and fragrant. I’ve never been given flowers before, not once.

“Thank you,” I whisper. After another few beats of awkward silence, I head to the kitchen to put the flowers in some water. Peeta follows, but stays as far away from me as the tiny space will allow. My hands shake as I arrange the stems in a glass pitcher. Peeta doesn't say a word, merely waits, watching his feet. Every insecurity claws out of my chest. Finally I give voice to the biggest of my fears. “Do you regret what happened between us?” My voice cracks, and his head snaps up, horror in his eyes.

“No!” I startle at his vehemence, and he steps forward, grasping my shoulders. “No, I could never,” he says so seriously I have no choice but to believe him.

“Then why are you acting so weird?”

He blinks at me, face blank. Then he laughs incredulously, and drops his forehead to mine. “Shit, I am,” he sighs. His hands fall away. “I've waited half my life for a chance to be with you, Katniss. I’m scared shitless of screwing it up. I want to do this right.” He lifts his head, plays with a tendril of hair that's escaped from my braid. “I want to take you out on dates, to wine and dine you.”

“I don't need any of that,” I start, but he's having none of it.

“You deserve those things, Katniss, and so much more. This weekend, God, it was incredible. But I just dragged you off to bed, like it was no big deal. And it was such a big deal. The biggest. I didn't show you how special you are, how much you mean to me.” He rakes his hand through his hair, genuinely upset with himself. I'm bewildered.

“You do show me that, Peeta. All of the time. You always treat me like I'm special.” And he does. He puts my happiness before his own every time.

“Katniss,” he starts, then takes a deep breath, as if to begin another long argument. But I cut him off.

“I don't want to lose my best friend.” Those ocean blue eyes that have captivated me for years are serious, searching. “I want to see you every day and do everything together. I want to laugh with you and cry on your shoulder. I want to just be Katniss and Peeta, like always. Except with more kissing. And… stuff.” My cheeks feel hot, and a smirk is playing on his lips. “Peeta,” I whisper, holding his gaze steadily. “I just want you.”

His soft laugh ripples over my eyelashes just before he leans down to kiss me. To really kiss me, kisses like the ones we shared that incredible night in his childhood bedroom. Kisses that makes me feel loved, wanted.

One thumb traces lazy circles on my hip bone while his other hand knots in my hair. My own arms are simply wrapped around his back, clinging. And I sigh. The fears and doubts fade away. This is right. This is the way we are meant to be.

As if he can sense my thoughts, he pulls back just enough to beam at me. “You are so incredible,” he rasps. “Let me take you out for dinner.”

“Sure,” I say. Then I kiss him again, because I can.

It takes another ten minutes before we can stop kissing long enough to leave my apartment, and I squirm the entire drive to the restaurant.

He chooses a place a few minutes away, a cute little restaurant I've driven by but never checked out before. He admits he hasn't either, but has always wanted to.

And it turns out to be just perfect for us. Definitely a ‘date’ spot, intimate tables for two, candles, soft music. Despite that, we act like ourselves. It's isn't weird or uncomfortable. It's just us. Like a hundred other dinners together. Except when I hold his hand and he kisses my fingers, it’s one by one, languidly, holding my eyes hostage as he does. I feel each erotic touch of his lips echoed in my belly.

And after we exit the restaurant, he presses me against the the passenger door of his car. “Remember,” he whispers, his lips just brushing my ear, “we’re madly in love, so it’s all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.” And though I laugh, desire burns hot and bright throughout me. I want him.

We are still laughing and holding hands when we get back to my apartment. He pauses at the threshold. “Uh-uh,” I say, tugging him inside. “We’re not getting weird again.” He laughs a little self consciously, but he doesn’t resist.

I grab a pair of beers from the fridge before joining him on the couch. He leaves the television off, shifting when I sit so that we are facing each other. He smiles, and I can't help smiling back. But I need to know. “Why did you run off yesterday?” I ask.

He doesn't answer right away; instead, he reaches out, traces my face with gentle fingers. “I didn't want to leave,” he admits. “But I felt like if I stayed I'd be pressuring you.”

I roll my eyes. “For two people who talk every single day, we’re crappy communicators.” Peeta chuckles. “It kind of sucked,” I confess. “I thought you were having second thoughts.”

“I'm sorry,” he says, completely sincerely. He sets his bottle on the table and takes my hand. His long artist’s fingers play with my own. “It just feels a little surreal still. I’ve wanted you for so long, and now that you feel the same way… I don’t know. I just keep expecting I’ll wake up and it’ll have all been a dream.” He looks at me through those pale golden lashes, cheeks tinged just a bit pink. He’s beautiful, but it’s more than that.

I love him.

“This is very real, Peeta,” I say. My bottle joins his, then I take a deep breath. He was the one who initiated what happened between us two days ago. Maybe what he needs now is to see how much I want him too.

The first time I crawled into his lap, I was too overwhelmed by my burgeoning feelings to really appreciate his solid body under mine. But now I can take my time to admire how gorgeous he is.

He chuckles when I straddle him, but lets me dictate what’s happening, his huge hands resting lightly on my hips. I explore him over his clothing with just the tips of my fingers, tracing the taut muscles of his shoulders, the defined pecs hiding under soft cotton. Then I start on his shirt, button by button. But when I get halfway, he stops me, his eyes full of doubt. “I want you,” I tell him, toying with his buttons while I wait.

“I don't want us to rush this,” he says.

I smirk. “This is technically our third date, Peeta.” We've joked about this before. The third date is the one that ends in sex.

He snorts. “How do you figure?”

“The rehearsal dinner was our first date,” I tell him, and he wrinkles his nose.

“Some date,” he grumbles.

“It was our first kiss.” His eyes soften. He reaches up to cup my cheek in one big hand, running his thumb over my bottom lip.

“It was the most incredible kiss of my life,” he says softly, eyes fixed on my mouth. “You were so gorgeous and open, even though I was being kind of a dick.” His eyes flit up to meet mine. “And you were wearing those black pants that make your ass look so good.” He slides his hands down my body, reaching around to squeeze my butt, drawing me closer. I lean in and kiss him, softly, then rest my forehead against his and we breathe together.

“Our second date was the wedding?” he guesses, eyes closed.

“Dinner and dancing,” I joke, and his answering laugh skates across my lips.

“That dress. And what was underneath. Fuck,” he trails off, groaning. Then we're kissing again, though I have no idea who started it.

I sneak my fingers inside his shirt, and he leans back to pull it off, along with the tee beneath it. I moan. “You are so hot.” I’m practically panting. It’s not like I’ve never noticed, I'm not blind. But I've never really had an opportunity to ogle the expanse of taut muscle and golden flesh, sparsely dusted with burnished gold hair that trails downward, beckoning my eyes to skim his abdominals, perfectly defined.

I take my time tasting all of that skin, sucking the hollow of his throat, tweaking his nipples with my teeth. Enjoying the way he squirms when I drag my tongue along his ticklish rib cage. Learning him. His hands twitch, I can feel the effort it’s taking him to stay still.

With a deep breath to steady my nerves, I start on my own buttons. I slip each one free slowly, drawing out the process before finally tossing my blouse on the sofa beside us. And even though the bra I'm wearing underneath is plain white cotton he groans, grabbing my ass again, pulling me more tightly against him. Skin on skin. His hips buck upwards, showing me just how much he likes what he sees. It's exhilarating, knowing the effect I'm having on him. Feeling it cradled between my thighs.

I go back to kissing him, gripping his sculpted shoulders and rocking above him. I’m aching, and so wet I’ve doubtless saturated my slacks, but I can’t be still. The rough seam of his jeans stimulates me with every swivel. His hands wander up and down my back, toying with the clasp of my bra before retreating. I refuse to be discouraged by his hesitation, not when I can feel his body’s response, hear his stuttering breaths. When I reach back and unhook the contraption, flinging it somewhere across the room, his restraint snaps. He cups my breasts, gently squeezing them, a pained expression on his face. “Fuck,” he groans. “Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are?”

“Show me,” I beg. He leans in, presses a kiss to my sternum, his stubble scraping my breasts. My clit pulses with every pass of his tongue as he laves my skin, teasing me as I squirm, trying to align myself with that hot, wet mouth.

It feels like an eternity before finally his soft lips close over my nipple and I wail like a thing possessed. I cup the back of his head, holding him to me as he roughly sucks and bites and drives me to the brink of insanity. “Please,” I beg, a breathless plea.

He stands up so quickly I nearly yank his hair out, but he holds me tight, pressed against the hard length of his body. I can feel his muscles ripple as he practically runs to my bedroom.

But when he sets me beside the bed, he slows down again, stepping back to simply stare as I shift nervously under his gaze. I reach for the button on my slacks, but he shakes his head. “Let me,” he whispers. He kneels before me, pressing soft kisses along my belly as he pulls off my pants, inch by inch. And when finally he tosses them in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor, he leans his forehead against my hipbone, taking deep, calming breaths, as if my simple white cotton panties are more than he can bear. “So gorgeous,” he groans again. “You really don’t know, do you? How gorgeous you are?”

His words are always so pretty, but I’m a woman on a mission. I want him. Now. I grab his hair and tug until he gets the hint and stands. Then I reach for his belt and pull him a little closer, turned on even more by his sharp little inhale of surprise. But he kisses me again, his tongue stealing my concentration as I try, blind and flustered, to undo his jeans.

When I finally wriggle my frantic fingers into his pants, when I finally grip him in my hand, hot and hard and ready for me, he shudders, his kisses becoming sloppier, needier as he moans into my mouth.

But he stops me too soon. “Don't wanna come yet,” he rasps.

“Peeta,” I whine, impatient. He guides me backwards two steps. My legs hit the bed, and he tugs my hips until I'm perched on the edge of the mattress and he's kneeling in front of me, sliding my panties off and licking his lips.

As much as I loved his mouth on me the first time he did it, I really want him - all of him - tonight. I want to have sex. More than that, I want to make love. Cupping his jaw, I tell him so, my voice shaking a little but my intent clear. Then I wait.

“Katniss,” he smiles, his eyes soft and affectionate, his words skating across my flesh, stealing my sense. “I have been fantasizing about this - about you - for as long as I can remember, and I haven't had sex in more than a year. When I'm finally inside you, I'm not going to last ninety seconds.” Even in the dim, I can see the tips of his ears turning red. “Let me make you come first. Please.”

I want to argue with him, to tell him that it doesn't matter to me whether I come or not. But I can see it matters to him, of course it does, he always puts me first in every other way so I can't be surprised that he's the same, sexually. It’s thrilling, honestly.

I swallow hard, and lean back on my elbows. He beams up at me before his head dips, and he kisses the ticklish skin of my inner thighs, swirling his tongue ever closer, adding sharp little nips with his teeth, making me squirm. Before I can beg, he shifts, finally giving me what I want. His tongue licks a long, luscious line along my flesh. His mouth is soft and wet as he tastes me, alternating languid explorations and focussed flicks as I buck and keen.  

He could make me come in seconds flat, I know. But he doesn't, teasing me, bringing me right to the edge before pulling back just a bit, then doing it again, over and over until I'm pleading for release. Until I'm so keyed up I can't even think straight. Only then does he draw my throbbing clit between his lips, sucking on the tiny nub.

I come so hard I see stars, and there's no way my nosy neighbours didn't hear my wails of pleasure. But I couldn't care less.

He looks ridiculously pleased with himself as he crawls up to kiss me, but I scowl against his lips. “No more waiting, Peeta,” I grumble, but he knows I'm not really upset. I can see it in the way his eyes smile.

“Yes ma’am,” he laughs. And I laugh too. Because it's Peeta, my best friend, and now my lover. It feels like this has always been an inevitability. That no matter what, this was always going to happen.

He stands, sliding his jeans down. His cock juts out proudly, long and hard and all for me. I'd like to taste him too, but that will have to wait for another day.

We've already discussed contraception, two days ago while I lay in his arms, finally having confessed to each other what we both should have known all along. He knows I'm on the pill. I know he was tested a few months ago when he changed insurance carriers, and that he hasn't been with anyone since. There is nothing to hold us back. “Katniss,” he murmurs, climbing back into the bed.

“Don't ask me again if I'm sure, Peeta,” I tell him, and my voice stays steady despite my pounding heart. Because I am sure. I've never been more certain in my life.

My virginity isn't something I've guarded like a priceless jewel, it's not something I've kept locked away waiting for the perfect time. Despite that, I am, in this moment, so glad that I waited. So glad that it's Peeta.

He lowers himself to hover over me, cradled between my legs, and I can feel him hard against my thigh, just inches away. I suck in a deep breath, my heart speeding up. But he pauses, hazy blue eyes locked on my own, his thumbs stroking my cheekbones. Fear that he's having second thoughts makes the adrenaline spike in my veins. I don't think my ego could take it if he asked permission one more time. But he doesn't. Those serious eyes flicker with heat and lust, but also shine with something more. “I love you,” he whispers. Then he presses into me.

My heart pounds like a jackhammer, but I try my hardest to relax. Peeta moves slowly, watching my face the entire time. It doesn’t hurt, exactly, but the stretch, the burn, the feeling of fullness as he pushes in is almost overwhelming. Time hangs suspended as he claims each millimeter with aching control.

The sweat breaking out across his brow and the slight trembling of his arms tell a different story though. I know him, know how hard he’s fighting to go slow. “It’s okay,” I whisper, and lean up to kiss his jaw. I can feel his moan under my lips.

“You feel so fucking good,” he groans.

“You do too,” I murmur. It's not completely true, but the pleasure that lights his handsome face makes the white lie worth it.

He lowers himself further, pressing our bodies together. His hand slides under my neck, arching my throat to his mouth. “I swear I'll make it good for you, Katniss,” he says as he starts to move, shallow thrusts, gentle rocking. And it does start to feel good. I tilt my pelvis experimentally, and Peeta curses, grabbing my hip, pulling me more tightly against him.

My eyes drift shut of their own accord, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, but Peeta cups my cheek. “Open your eyes, Katniss,” he growls, his voice deeper and rougher than I’ve ever heard it before. “Good,” he nods as I meet his eyes, huge and nearly black. “Stay with me.”

“Always,” I whisper, tears pricking the corners of my eyes.

He’s moving faster, driving deep into me with every thrust. His eyes, hazy with pleasure and wonder, remain locked on my own. My name falls from his lips over and over, an invocation. A plea.

The first flickers of fire kindle in my belly, curling and coiling, and a surprised little oh escapes me. Peeta smiles, pleased and a little cocky. “Like that?” he asks, snapping his hips a fraction harder, and the fire builds. I can only nod frantically.

My hands clutch at his shoulders as the pleasure intensifies. Gasps and soft sighs progress to moans. I probably sound like a porno version of myself but I can't swallow back the sounds. Peeta doesn't seem to mind. If anything, my uninhibited cries spur him on.

He sneaks a hand between us, his thumb catching my clit roughly. Shock and pleasure jolt through me, and I involuntarily clench every muscle. “Oh fuck,” Peeta gasps. “I can’t-

His hips snap once, twice, thrusting more deeply than I imagined possible. His teeth find that sensitive spot where my neck and shoulder meet, biting hard enough to make me shudder. Then his body stiffens and stills. Tremors run down his spine and a low, drawn-out moan escapes him as he lifts his head. But it's the expression on his face that nearly does me in. He looks trapped between agony and ecstasy.

I expect him to pull out and roll away but he doesn't. Instead, he kisses me, and not slowly or sweetly. He kisses me passionately, showing me that we’re not done here. I feel a swell of tenderness. This man, this incredible man is more invested in my pleasure than his own.

Still inside me, he starts to rock again, sliding fractionally in and out, still filling me, but the stretch isn't so overwhelming now. And his talented thumb resumes its assault.

But it's his words that push me over the edge. In gasps and groans he tells me I'm beautiful. That he’s never wanted anyone the way he wants me. That he loves me. I cling to him as I tremble and pulse. It’s so much more intimate, coming apart in his arms while he stares into my eyes, than it was when he went down on me. I feel connected to him more than just physically.

His hair is damp with sweat and falls across eyes that practically glow for me. I've never found him more attractive than I do right at this moment.

He pulls out and crumples to the bed beside me, pulling me in close, my face pressed against his throat where I can feel his pulse fluttering against my lips. “Holy shit,” he gasps. And I smile.

I don’t know how long we lie together, sticky and sated, drifting in contentment, only that it isn’t anywhere near long enough when he moves to climb off the bed. “No,” I mumble, half asleep but still lucid enough to panic a little. “Don’t leave.”

He kisses my cheek. “I’ll be right back.”

I can hear him pad out into the hall and to the bathroom, hear water running. Then he’s back, cleaning me up with a warm cloth, gentle and tender. I stiffen, and heat blooms in my face, but I don’t ask him to stop. It’s strange, but sweet, something I’d never, not in any dream or fantasy, imagined him doing for me. Then he tosses the cloth somewhere behind him, and lies down with me again, fitting our bodies together and sighing against my hair.

I should be scared shitless by the intensity of this. But I’m not. Maybe because it’s Peeta, and he’s always felt like comfort and joy and safety. And now, he feels like home.

[everlarkbirthdaydrabbles]

Hi. I'd just like to say that I absolutely love the fanfics on this account and the idea of it is so amazing. My birthday is January the 12th and i would love for you to do a Katniss pregnancy in the 'Cassie Chronicles'. I understand that the January requests are now closed but i would be VERY greatful if you were able to do this for me. I know it is short notice so I wouldn't mind if it was completed way after my birthday. Thankyou for your time. (Rating T/M. Dont mind Smut).

You weren't late! Almost, but we were able to take this on. Wishing you a wonderful birthday! Just for you, we’ve put together this little glimpse into the Cassie universe. Enjoy!

Cassie Chronicles Part 5

(parts 1 , 2, 3, and 4)

Rated T

Golden light spills over the windowsill, flows like honey along her bare back to pool in her ebony hair, tousled across white pillowcases. Watching the sunrise paint my gorgeous wife in fire is one of my favourite things. My pencil flies over the paper, trying to capture the peaceful incandescence of the moment. Knowing how fleeting it’s likely to be.

It’s mornings like these that I have to pinch myself. I can scarcely believe how lucky I am. My Katniss, the love of my life, stretched out in bed beside me. Our little girl asleep down the hall in her purple princess room. And maybe, just maybe… My eyes flit to the slim white box poised on the dresser.

“Peeta, how long have you been watching me?” Her voice is husky with sleep as she squints at me over her shoulder. I’ve been so caught up in daydreaming about possibilities that I hadn’t noticed she’d woken up. But she’s smiling.

“Not long, Love,” I promise, tossing the sketchbook and leaning over to kiss her shoulder, the skin sleep-warm and smooth as silk. She groans softly as I lie down, pulling her back snugly against my chest.

“It’s so early.” It isn’t, really, but it’s Saturday, and we both usually sleep in a little on Saturday mornings. But she knows why I’m awake. She’s the one who said we had to wait until Saturday to test. “Worse than the first day of school,” she grumbles, but she’s trying not to laugh, I can hear it in her voice.

We’ve been trying for a baby since our wedding four months ago. And Katniss, whose periods are so regular you can almost set your watch to them, is now eleven days late.

I wanted to test on day one. Katniss balked, unwilling to let either of us get our hopes up. But when she skipped her regular sushi lunch with the girls this week, I knew she had her suspicions too.

She rolls over, the sheets clutched over her chest. She’s still, after nearly two years together, so shy. It’s endearing. And though I’m as anxious as a kid on Christmas morning, I can’t resist pinning her under me and kissing her, letting my hands wander, tickling and teasing that gorgeous expanse of bare olive skin under the covers.

Finally, she pushes me away with a smirk and wraps herself in the orange silk robe I bought her last Christmas. She snatches the box off her dresser and walks towards the ensuite. I move to follow her, but she snorts delicately. “I don’t think so,” she says. “There are some things I prefer to do without an audience.”

I don’t have time to get upset about being left behind before she comes back and sits on the bed beside me. The packaging is just barely visible through the open bathroom door, propped on the edge of the sink. The little stick with all of the answers. “Two minutes,” she says, and there’s the faintest tremor in her voice.

“Nervous, Love?”

“Yeah,” she says softly. Then she laughs. “Hell yeah. Aren’t you?”

It’s a bit of a loaded question. Because while all of this is completely new for Katniss, it’s not for me. Of course, it’s different this time, in pretty much every way. Cassie - as much as I adore her and as much as I wouldn’t change a thing - she was definitely unplanned, her mother a virtual stranger. But now, with Katniss, I want for that little stick to have a plus sign on it so badly that I’m shaking. I want a baby that’s a bit of her and a bit of me, a sister or brother for Cassie. I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted anything more. I chuckle. “Maybe a little,” I admit. She grips my hand tightly, and we wait.

Two minutes isn’t very long, but it feels interminable when your dreams hang in the balance.

“I’m scared,” she whispers, the first time I’ve ever heard Katniss admit to being afraid of anything. She’s the one who chased a mouse out of our kitchen two weeks ago, she’s the one who climbed the oak tree in our yard to fetch Cassie’s kite. Fearless barely scratches the surface of how brave she is.

“Of what?” I whisper back. She doesn’t meet my eyes, instead laying her head against my shoulder, playing with my fingers. Spinning my wedding band around and around.

“If it’s negative,” she breathes, “you’ll be so disappointed.”

“Maybe a little, but we’ll keep trying,” I try to reassure her. “We have plenty of time.” She nods.

“But if it’s positive…” she trails off. And though my heart is pounding in terror that she’s changed her mind, I wait for her to finish. “What if I’m a bad mother?” It’s so faint, I barely hear her.

I shift on the bed, cupping her cheek in my hand to tilt her face to mine. Her silver eyes are completely serious. “Katniss,” I breathe, and disbelief is evident in my voice. “You are already a phenomenal mother!” And she is. She dotes on Cassie, volunteers as a leader for Cassie’s Brownie troop, helps coach her T-ball team. She’s patient and kind, firm and loving, and Cassie has completely thrived in her care. And even before that, Katniss practically raised her younger sister Prim after their father’s death. I’ve never met anyone as nurturing as Katniss Everdeen Mellark.

“It’s different, with Cassie. She was already a person when we met. I don’t have any idea about babies. I’ve never even really been around babies. What if… what if I can’t love it?”

I don’t dare laugh because I can see she isn’t joking. “Sweetheart.” I kiss her downturned lips softly. “You have the biggest heart. You are so loving with Cassie, and you are going to love any babies we have so much. It’s going to be fine. Trust me.”

She wraps her arms around me, her lips just grazing my neck. “Okay,” she whispers, and I feel the words against my skin and in my heart.

Those two minutes were up nearly ten minutes ago, but I continue to hold her, breathe with her. Wait until she’s ready. Finally, after what feels like another eternity, she pulls away. “Okay,” she murmurs again. Then she stands, and pulls me up too.

We walk to the bathroom together.

Despite her uncertainty minutes ago, the smile that graces her face when we see the pink plus sign on the pregnancy test is huge. “Oh my God, Peeta,” she laughs as tears sparkle in the corners of her eyes.

“We’re having a baby!” I pick her up and spin her around in the narrow confines of our bathroom, her laughter sounds like relief.

“I can’t wait to tell Cassie,” she says.

I’m anxious to tell her too. But it’s still early, Cassie won’t wake up for at least another hour yet. Right now, I’d like to celebrate with my pregnant wife. So I kiss my Katniss, my love, and carry her back to our bedroom.

[hutchhitched]

Too Familiar (Part 2)

For those of you who’ve asked, it’s finally here! Part 2 of my contribution for @loveinpanem‘s Candle for the Caribbean. Thank you to all who contributed to the fundraiser and expressed interest in this story. Trigger warning: mature themes (including infidelity) in this chapter. The first chapter of this story can be found here.

 Monday morning came much too soon, and Katniss considered calling in sick before dragging herself out of bed and climbing into the shower. Peeta had tried to contact her a few times after their fight on Friday night, but she wasn’t having any of it and finally turned off her phone for the entirety of Saturday and Sunday. Unfortunately, she knew she’d have to see him that day at work. There wasn’t any way to avoid running into him.

 She took care with her appearance. If she didn’t, she knew Johanna and Annie would notice she looked withdrawn and peaked. She wove her hair into an elaborate braid she usually saved for special occasions and selected a muted orange sweater that highlighted her gray eyes. She was halfway to work before she realized she’d subconsciously chosen to adorn herself in Peeta’s favorite color.

I said your name instead of hers.

I said your name.

Your name.

Peeta’s confession echoed in her ears as she bumped against others on the subway. She gritted her teeth and clenched her eyes shut and tried to pretend her heart wasn’t breaking.

 At her stop, she fought through the crowd and up the stairs. She bypassed her usual morning coffee for fear she’d run into Peeta waiting for her inside the shop and took the stairs to her office instead of the elevator. She needed a few more minutes before she was willing to face him. Huffing slightly, she took a deep breath and opened the door. She deliberately kept her eyes forward as she passed the doorway to his bank of cubicles and heaved a sigh of relief when she managed to slip into her chair without anyone stopping her. She worked feverishly, hoping no one would bother her if she kept her eyes on her desk.

 Annie nudged her at noon and asked quietly if she wanted to join the others for lunch, but Katniss shook her head. She had plans to eat in the small park behind the building and steer clear any of the local eating joints. It was one more way to avoid him. She wove her way downstairs and out the back entrance of the building. Selecting a park bench partly obscured by low branches, she sank onto it and sighed.

 “This sucks,” she breathed.

 “Worst Monday of my life.”

 “Holy shit, Peeta!” Katniss screeched. “Where the hell did you come from?”

 He gave her a sad half-smile and motioned to his left. “I was over there when you came out. I didn’t want to scare you or drive you away, so I didn’t say anything. You seemed like you wanted to be alone.”

 She snorted and studied her sandwich. “I don’t want to be alone.”

 “Neither do I,” he whispered and motioned to the space beside her. “Can I sit down?  Please?”

 “Why?” she asked, her voice wavering. “So you can say my name again?”

 “Kat, I’m so sorry.”

 “You should be.”

 “You could be a little more compassionate, you know. It’s not like your marriage is on the rocks. You’re not the one who might lose your kid before it’s even born. I didn’t ask for this.”

 “And you think I did?” she snapped, completely incredulous at his audacity. “You think I asked for my best friend to yell my name when his pregnant wife sucked his dick? You think I want to be the other woman when I don’t even get the benefits of it?”

 “Benefits of it? What—?” Peeta narrowed his eyes. “Wait. You want the benefits?”

 She froze, her heart pounding hard in her chest. “I’m not going to dignify that with an answer.”

 “Katniss…”

 “Nope! Don’t go there.”

 “Katniss—”

 “We’re not happening,” she snapped and stood abruptly. “Don’t get some fantasy that you and I can be together if Madge decides to leave you. I’m not your safety net. Work it out with your wife.”

 “Katniss!” he shouted at her retreating back, but she was already back inside the building and headed up to her cubicle before he could follow.

 “Where’s the stud?”

 “Shut up, Johanna,” Katniss snapped and worked through the papers on her desk. She entered column after column of data until 4:45. At precisely fifteen minutes before she knew Peeta would leave his desk, she shut down her computer, grabbed her purse, and slipped down the stairs to the street below. She was halfway home before her phone lit up with a series of messages. Apparently, he’d noticed she left early.

 She scrolled through her phone, but nothing he’d written made her feel any better about the gulf that had opened between them. How could it have only been three days since the world spiraled out of control?

The days passed slowly without him. She got better at avoiding him, and Johanna and Annie refrained from making any comments about his absence, although Annie did apologize for what had happened over drinks. Peeta continued to talk to her occasionally, but they kept it light, impersonal, and extremely professional. His eyes lost their natural luster, and she dropped a few pounds from her already lean frame bringing her lunch instead of joining him at their local haunts. She tortured herself thinking about Madge’s lips wrapped around her husband’s cock and Peeta gripping her hair and thrusting into her mouth as she blew him. She woke from nightmares about dying alone as Peeta and Madge built a family with wide smiles and perfect vacations and a big house. She’d almost decided to get a cat, a big, fluffy orange one she’d name Buttercup, to keep her company when things finally broke.

 The day started out poorly with a downpour and a soggy commute, but that didn’t compare to shock of being called into a meeting with her boss. Haymitch gazed at her mutely across the desk until a light knock sounded at the door, and he called for the person to enter. Katniss jumped when Peeta sank down in the chair next to her and glanced at her with a wry smile before turning his attention to their boss.

 “Everdeen, Mellark, I’ve got a project I need some help with, and I think you two are the team to make it happen,” Haymitch barked gruffly. “It’s going to mean some overtime for you both, which I think you can appreciate with a bundle of joy on the way for you, boy, and…well, whatever it is you do with your time.”

 Katniss blinked at him, too humiliated to respond. She hadn’t realized her empty social life was so apparent at work.

 “You two are my stars,” he continued, “and you seem to get along well. I’m sure you can do it.”

 “Mr. Abernathy, I’m not sure this is the best plan,” Peeta ventured. “I’ve got a lot going on at home, and Katniss is—”

 “—happy to have the work,” she insisted and glared at her co-worker. “What do you need from us?”

 She ignored Peeta’s look of surprise and concentrated on what the job entailed. Minutes later, she and Peeta were outside Abernathy’s office, and he was grinning at her with that familiar lopsided grin she’d missed so much.

 “Happy to have the work, huh?” Peeta teased. “I’m happy to have an excuse to work with you.”

 “That’s not what this is about,” she insisted and headed back to her desk.

 “Are you sure? No way to avoid me now, sweetheart. Sounds like we’ll have several hours of close contact now.”

 “Don’t call me sweetheart, Peeta. I need the money, and I’m not going to allow this…thing between us to cost me an opportunity for overtime. Maybe I can finally go on that vacation to Puerto Rico I always said I’d take once I turned thirty. Not getting any younger, am I?”

 “Hey,” he said softly and stopped her with his hand on her arm. “I’m sorry for teasing. I’m really glad you said yes. We do work well together, and I’m tired of us trying to avoid each other. Can we start over? Be friends again? Maybe if I stopped acting so wounded we could have a real shot at it. I miss you, Kat.”

 Heat radiated from his palm, and goosebumps rose on her skin underneath his loose grasp. It was unfair how easily he could tempt her. “I miss you too, Mellark.”

 “I knew you couldn’t resist me.” His eyes twinkled as he grinned at her, and she gulped as her stomach clenched.

 “I’m going to regret this.”

 Peeta narrowed his eyes and cocked his head. A shy smile with a hint of sweetness tickled the side of his mouth. His voice felt like melted chocolate and velvet when he asked, “You’re going to regret what?”

 “Come over,” she sighed. “This project is going to take forever, and I’m too tired to stay here or go out. I’m not going near Madge, so my place is the only choice.”

 “That sounds…cozy.”

 “Don’t get any ideas,” she snapped. “This is for work.”

 “Of course it is,” he agreed softly. “I’ll meet you at your place at 6:30. I need to stop by home first.”

 “Yes, your daily blowjob awaits.”

 “Katniss—”

 “No worries. I’ll get my date with my vibrator done before you get there.”

 She almost felt sorry for him as she walked back to her desk. She ignored Johanna and Annie’s questioning looks and spent the day working her caseload. At five, she grabbed her bag and headed for the elevator. Peeta’s shocked expression from earlier played before her as she caught the subway home and jostled against her fellow commuters. As she entered her apartment, she tossed her jacket on the couch and headed to the bedroom to change. Slipping out of her work clothes, she chose a comfortable cotton button down and a pair of well-worn jeans.

 “Shouldn’t be too tempting for him,” she muttered and crossed to her bedside table to plug in her cell phone. She plopped onto the bed and her eyes instinctively glanced at the drawer in her nightstand. She’d been joking when she said it, more intent on irritating him than being truthful, but frustration nipped at her. She had time. It had been a couple of weeks since she’d even thought about it, too ashamed of the situation with her best friend to admit she usually imagined him when she masturbated.

 “Fuck it,” she grunted and unzipped her pants, grabbed her vibrator, and lay back on her bed.

 The familiar buzz soothed her as she slid the plastic between her legs. Her eyes fluttered closed as she glanced over her clit. Finding a rhythm, she pushed and circled and rubbed until her heartrate increased and her arousal eased the friction. In no time, small jolts of pleasure radiated out through her limbs.

 “Yessssssss…. Right there,” she gasped to the empty room, but she couldn’t block out the image of sparkling blue eyes and ashy blonde curls hovering over her. “Peeta…”

 Katniss shoved aside the twinge of guilt lurking beneath her enjoyment and turned up the speed. Her hips began to thrust of their own accord, and she pressed harder against her clit before teasing her entrance. She turned her head to the side and bit her lip.

 “Oh, fuck,” she groaned. “Yeah. Harder. Go harder, Peeta.”

 She kicked at the mattress, irritated by her jeans restricting her at the knees. With her free hand, she traced her stomach under her shirt. She reached into the nightstand drawer and fumbled until she found the small bottle of lube. Clenching her legs together to hold her vibrator in place, she squirted a small dab into her hand before slathering it in her slit and on the silicon.

 “Touch me,” she hissed into the air and closed her eyes. She imagined his hands caressing her, kneading her skin, and massaging her muscles. “Inside…please.”

 She spread her legs wider and circled her clit with her middle finger as she slid her vibrator into her pussy. She gasped and squirmed as it filled her, pulsating and insistent. Sparks of desire joined to fuel a burning sensation she hadn’t felt in weeks. As her mood lifted and her breaths grew shorter, she worked herself faster and faster until she tightened like a spring.

 “Peeta, baby. I need to come. Make me come.”

 She flicked the dial to the highest speed, and it was only a few more moments before her orgasm flashed through her. She squealed and jerked as her muscles clenched and released in a series of spasms. Peeta’s blue eyes and full lips hovered in her mind as she came and then came again.

 “Shit, yes! Ohmigod. So hot, Peeta.”

 She continued to mumble as heat flooded her. She was on fire, burning with the light of a thousand suns, as she chased her climax. Her legs shook, and she moaned thankfully as her hands finally fell to her sides.

 It was a while, probably a full minute before she realized the vibrator continued to pulse between her legs, and she reached down to turn it off. With a satisfied groan, she pulled it free and wiped it clean before stashing it back in her drawer. Sighing, she reveled in her release before eventually rolling from the bed, redressing, and straightening her braid.

 Her euphoria passed much too soon, and shame rushed in to replace what had felt so good only a few minutes before.

 “Fuck,” she cursed as she stumbled to the bathroom and washed her hands. “I just jacked off to fantasies of my best friend. My married best friend. Who’s about to be a father.” She shook her head and glared at herself, but she couldn’t help the sparkle in her eye or the limpness in her arms. It felt amazing, and she couldn’t quite be disgusted with herself when this was all she had.

 She was still glowing when the doorbell rang a half hour later. Hyper aware of her slightly mussed hair and flushed face, she opened the door to find Peeta standing there. His eyes held a hint of hope mixed with caution, and he seemed relieved when she waved him inside and to the kitchen table where she’d set up a workspace.

 “I haven’t been here for a while,” he murmured. “I like the changes.”

 She glanced at the couch and bit her lip to hid the smile lurking there. She’d added a couple of throw pillows for a pop of color and a few pictures she’d taken of sunsets when she was home visiting her sister a few months prior. They were an homage to him, she realized now, but she shoved that from her mind. They needed to work, and she didn’t need to think about why she’d decorated her apartment with her best friend in mind.

 “How was your blowjob?” she asked bluntly and sat at the table.

 He flushed and settled into the chair next to her. She didn’t miss that he adjusted himself discreetly before answering, “Katniss, I’m sorry, but maybe that’s not the most appropriate topic considering the mess we’re in.”

 “Probably not,” she retorted, “but I’d like to know your head’s in the game instead of still back at your house in your wife’s mouth.”

 He coughed and stared miserably at the pile of papers in front of him. “It was fine,” he admitted quietly. “Good, I mean. Got the job done.”

 “Excellent. Just excellent. My vibrator did the same. Multiple orgasms before you got here. Let’s work, shall we?”

 “Katniss—”

 “Can you hand me the file for Glimmer Johnson? Worst hooker name ever, by the way,” she joked forcefully, determined not to allow their conversation to stray from the task at hand. She’d gotten in her digs, tortured him enough. Now it was time to work. Maybe if they did that, they could slip back into their familiar place.

 Too familiar, she told herself, but then shook it off. This was the new normal of their relationship, and she was just going to have to get used to it.

 Two hours later, they were both bleary-eyed as they sorted through case after case. They argued and bantered about each one in an attempt to find solutions for the problems each represented. Which kids needed foster homes? Why did one mother deserve to keep her children while another didn’t? Where were the fathers, and why were only some of them interested in keeping up with their progeny?

 “I swear I’m going to be a better dad than this,” Peeta muttered as he scanned images of a young girl named Clove with bruises on her arms and neck. “Child abuse is sick. Who beats a kid?”

 “You’re going to be a great father, and you know it,” she mumbled as she shook her head. “Dedicated. Loving. Present.”

 “Present… That’s the goal, right?”

 She glanced up at him and frowned at his sad smile. He raised his eyes to hers, and she couldn’t look away. The agony she saw there broke her heart, and she couldn’t deny the hint of yearning and a tiny bit of lust that lingered in the depths. The war inside him between doing what was right and giving into his feelings for her was as obvious as the electricity sparking between them. For a spilt second, she imagined sweeping the papers onto the floor and using the surface for much more lurid purposes.

 He cleared his throat, and she blinked as the connection between them snapped. Flustered, she closed a file folder and pushed back from the table.

 “I should go.”

 She opened the refrigerator and stared into it. “You probably should. The wife’s waiting, and we got a lot done.”

 “It was really good to see you, Katniss. Outside the office, I mean. I’ve missed you so much the past few weeks.”

 She turned to find him standing close to her. His hands hung loosely at his sides, and hers itched to touch him. Silently, they reached for each other, and her cheek settled onto his chest as his arms wound around her back. She tugged him closer at the waist, and they stood encircled together for several moments before he pulled free.

 “I’ll see you tomorrow, Katniss.”

 She nodded, too overcome with emotion to react, and watched him cross to the door and slip through it. He glanced at her as he closed the door, and she fought hard to remain rooted instead of chasing after him and begging him to pick her over Madge.

 When she was sure he’d left, she crossed to the door and clicked the lock into place. Dazed, she walked to her bedroom and sank onto the bed. Blood sang in her veins, and she allowed herself to fantasize about what could have happened if he didn’t have someone to go home to; if he’d only waited until he met her to fall in love.

 Frustrated, she yanked open the nightstand drawer and kicked her jeans onto the floor. Deliberately, she pulled her vibrator out, and then reached further back to where she kept a few other toys. She needed this tonight—if only to get his face from her mind. She fell asleep to dreams of tangled limbs and hot mouths with roaming hands and probing fingers.

 The pattern continued over the next few weeks. Katniss spent her time at work focused and professionally distant, but on Tuesday and Thursday nights, Peeta came to her house to work on the files Haymitch gave them every week. The weirdness between them eased somewhat, and it seemed they fell back into their familiar patterns almost too easily.

 “I’m so hungry, Kat,” Peeta whined. “Can I grab something to eat?”

 “Sure. Whatever you want,” she grumbled as she wrote notes in Clove’s file.

 “Want something?”

 “Uh, yeah. Fruit,” she answered, distracted by the images of abuse before her on the table.

 A banana plunked down in front of her, and she worked hard to keep a grin from spreading across her face. Deliberately, she put down her pen, picked up the banana, and peeled it slowly. Without a word, she lifted it to her mouth and sucked the tip between her lips. Ignoring his discomfort and sudden silence, she licked the underside of the fruit with the tip of her tongue before biting off a huge chunk and moaning at the taste.

 “Katniss,” Peeta hissed, and she turned to look at him. He was speechless, stunned silent, as he watched her. She licked her lips deliberately, and he swallowed hard before moving his hand over his lap. She glanced down and fought to control a triumphal smile at what swelled there. He hadn’t lost his attraction for her any more than she had for him. Somehow, that made her happy.

 “Is Madge still into blowjobs?” she purred and took another bite of her snack.

 He shook his head, his eyes glazed as he watched her. “No,” he choked out in a tortured squeak. “Third trimester. Onto something new.”

 “Oh, yeah,” she answered and turned to face him squarely. She fiddled with her neckline and allowed it to dip lower to reveal what little cleavage she had. “What’s she into now?”

 “Nothing,” he gulped, and she grinned when his eyes darted to her chest. “At least nothing daily. I’m in a drought.”

 “Oh, that’s too bad, Peeta,” she offered sympathetically. “Are you taking care of things yourself?” He nodded, and she trailed her fingers down her torso. “I am too, you know. Every night. Sometimes when I get home from work. I did before you got here today. It feels so good.”

 He whimpered, but he didn’t say anything. He couldn’t tear his eyes from her, and she felt an inordinate amount of power as she teased him. It was so easy. Why should she feel guilty when he was the one with the pregnant wife at home? She’d sacrificed enough, she reasoned. She’d played by the rules her entire life, and look where it had gotten her. Sexually frustrated and in love with a man who wanted her the same way she wanted him. Yet, she was supposed to resist. She was supposed to say no to everything she desired just because he was too impatient to wait for what was right instead of what was good enough.

 “I think about you sometimes when I do it,” she admitted, her voice low and husky. “I think about your hands on me and the way you’d feel inside me.”

 “Shit yes,” he hissed, and she stood up and moved to stand a few inches from him.

 “I think about the way your mouth would cover me and how you’d whisper in my ear as you came inside me.”

 He gaped for a few seconds and then squirmed as she hovered over him. “You know I love you, Kat.”

 She stopped then, confused at his confession. Her heart soared and broke at the same time. Why did this have to be so hard? Why couldn’t he be available for something real and good instead of guilt and shame?

 “You what?”

 “I love you. I have for a long, long time. I’m… I don’t know how to stop, Katniss, but I love you, and I’m married to someone else. I’m going to be a father in a few weeks, and all I can think about is how to balance getting the nursery ready with how to keep from screaming your name when I jack off in the shower.” He bowed his head, and she rested her palms on his shoulders. “I want to be a good dad. My baby deserves that. But Katniss—”

 “But what?” she pled. “Tell me.”

 “I want you. So much.”

 “Peeta, I…” She didn’t know what to say, and he didn’t volunteer anything else. It took everything inside her to step away from him and blurt, “You need to leave.”

 He nodded and crossed to the door in only a few strides. She panicked when his hand grasped the doorknob, and she called his name. She threw herself at him, wrapping him in a tight hug, and he pulled her tightly against him. Their faces were centimeters apart, their lips almost touching. For several seconds they stood frozen, and then he dropped his arms and staggered back against the wall.

 “You see, Katniss? I want to kiss you so much, but I can’t. I can’t do it. I can’t do this.”

 She reached for him and nuzzled into his neck, breathing in his scent. His cologne had always been her weakness. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she always smelled cinnamon and herbs when she was near him.

 “You’re a good man, Peeta Mellark,” she whispered and kissed his neck. Then she released him and walked to her couch. By the time she was settled and reached for her remote, he was gone.

 She called into work the next day. She needed time to process what had happened between them, and she’d brought several files home. She spent the weekend alternating between berating herself and trying to justify her feelings toward her best friend. She raged against her life situation and grappled with the implications of having an affair.

 By Sunday evening, she was no closer to deciding than she had been on Thursday night. And then a knock sounded at her door. Tossing her braid over her shoulder, she crossed to the door and slid it open an inch.

 “Peeta! What are you doing here?” she exclaimed and threw the door open to usher him inside. He’d barely passed through the threshold when he caught her and pressed his mouth to hers.

 “Hmmpf,” she grunted as his lips devoured hers. They were velvety soft. And plump. And firm. And fucking delicious. His tongue swept into her mouth and tangled with hers. They both sighed and groaned and grunted as they kissed, desperate to both quell the tension between them and stoke it higher at the same time.

 “Katniss,” he moaned as his lips broke from hers and trailed down her check to her neck. He sucked at her pulse point, and she pressed her thighs together. His hands pulled her tighter against him by her ass, and she could feel him, rigid and throbbing, against her hip.

 “Close the door,” she gasped and stumbled backward to fall on the couch. He was on her in seconds, wrapping her legs around his waist and pressing into her center until she swore she’d come just from the pressure.

 “Tell me what you want,” he begged. “Let me make you happy. You deserve to be happy.”

 Unable to speak, she grabbed his hand and brought it to the waistline of her yoga pants. He fumbled for a few seconds, but then his hand dipped inside. She wasn’t wearing underwear, and he groaned when his long fingers slipped into the moisture between her legs. She jerked at the contact but had no power to resist.

 “Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh god!”

 “You like that?” he grunted as he circled her clit with his thumb. “Are you horny, Kat?”

 “Uh huh,” she mewled and pulsed her hips to gain friction.

 “Do you want my fingers inside you?”

 “Yeah…”

 “Are you sure?” he teased as he licked her earlobe.

 “Yes, I’m sure,” she moaned. “Oh fuck, Peeta.”

 Too turned on to speak, she closed her eyes as his fingers plundered her. He dipped his middle finger inside her, swirled it against her walls, and then pulled it out. He pressed her nub with his thumb until she bucked against him, and then he slid his finger back inside. She gyrated under him, impatient and desperate for a release, but he wouldn’t give it to her. Instead, he tortured her with his hand as his mouth attacked her neck greedily.

 She widened her legs, and he added another finger inside, causing her to dig her fingers into his back. He grunted dirty words against her chest as he finger-fucked her. Frantic, she shoved her hands into the front of his jeans and brushed against his cock. He groaned at the contact. Emboldened, she worked her fingers until she could grasp him. The feel of his turgid dick against her skin felt too good, and she bit his shoulder as she bucked against him.

 “Fuck, Katniss. Fuck…” Peeta grunted her name repeatedly and curled his fingers inside her. She screamed and gripped him tighter. “I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come, baby.”

 “Peeta! Yes! Don’t stop!”

 “Kat! Christ!” he yelped, and his body shook with the force of his orgasm. Warmth flooded her fingers, and she kept pumping him, lubing him with his own cum. He finally worked her left breast free and bit her nipple. The flash of pain triggered her own orgasm, and she thrashed under him as he drove her to the edge. She begged him to stop, but she didn’t want him to. She felt like an animal in heat, rubbing against his hand and arm until she was sure she’d come a second time.

 She was almost there when he kissed her and stopped moving. Falling next to her, he grunted, “Cramp. Shit.”

 The elastic of her waistband slapped against her stomach as he freed his hand and flexed it. She could see moisture on his fingers, and she whined softly when she realized it was hers. His cum was all over her hand, and she held it aloft, unsure what to do with it. He watched her with hooded eyes that darkened further when she licked her index finger.

 “That is so fucking hot,” he whispered, wide-eyed as she wiped her hand clean on her shirt. “Dirty girl.”

 “Let me lick your hand too,” she demanded, and he lifted his fingers to her mouth. She sucked on his middle finger, and the tangy taste of her mixed with the bite of his flavor mixed in her mouth.

 “Fuck me,” he groaned and kissed her again. “Are you still turned on?”

 She nodded, and he groaned a second time. He slid down to the floor and kneeled in front of her. Pulling her to the edge of the couch, he yanked her leggings down around her ankles and spread her open. Before she could comprehend what he was doing, he dropped his head and left her speechless.

 His mouth was magic. That’s all she could fathom as he feasted on her. She begged him to stop at the same time she tugged him closer, but he was undeterred. His tongue and lips and teeth and…oh god, everything…

 Katniss threw her head back and concentrated on what he was doing to her. The sounds, the smell, the feel…all of it together created an entirely erotic experience that made her want to forsake everything if it could be her life. She ground against him until she knew she couldn’t take any more. Bowing tightly, she crested. And then again. And then once more. Exhausted and limp, she panted as he licked her clean. When he was done, he kissed her deeply, and she relished the moisture he transferred to her.

 “We shouldn’t have done that,” she said weakly.

 Peeta kissed her inner thighs with soft brushes of his lips, and then answered, “Probably not, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to happen again.”

 “Really?” Incredulous, she stared at him, her cheeks flaming and her heart pounding with hope and dread.

 “Unless you say no.”

 “I’m not going to say no.”

 He smiled at her, and she couldn’t help but grin back. She loved his man, and he loved her. She hadn’t come without the help of her vibrator in over a year until Peeta had put his hands and mouth on her. She wanted this release. She craved it and needed it.

 “I’ve got to clean up,” he announced and pulled away from her reluctantly. She motioned to the bathroom and hurried to pull her pants on properly before he returned. When he did, he sat next to her on the couch and reached for her hand. Threading his fingers through hers, he held onto her for several minutes before she ventured her thoughts.

 “You don’t have to feel guilty.”

 He chuckled, but she could tell it wasn’t funny to him. “You’re right,” he mumbled. “I just ate out a woman who isn’t my wife, but at least I didn’t stick my dick inside her, right?”

 “Technically, yes,” she reasoned. “I mean, what we did isn’t the best option, but we didn’t actually have sex. I mean, not the kind that results in any kind of…uh…problem.”

 “Getting two women pregnant at the same time would be kind of horrible. But we didn’t do that.”

 “Right.”

 “So, we could, I don’t know…”

 “Keep it to oral,” she suggested. “I know you like that.”

 “I do miss the second trimester blowjobs,” he joked. “She never liked them before, and I expect they’ll never happen again.”

 “They could be our thing now,” she offered and swallowed down the bubble of guilt roiling in her gut. “I’ve been told I’m pretty good at them.”

 “The baby—he’s due in eight weeks.”

 “It’s a he? You’re having a son?” Despite the situation, she couldn’t help being excited for him. She knew Peeta had always wanted a son.

 He nodded and glanced at her before dropping his head in his hands.

 “Fuck, what am I doing? I’m going to be a father, and all I want is your legs wrapped around my neck as I fuck you with my tongue.” His mask of anguish made her want to cry, but his words made her want him in her bed.

 “You have eight weeks,” she said quietly. “Eight weeks. Maybe you just need to get me out of your system.”

 He snorted and pulled her against him. “I won’t ever get over you,” he murmured as he kissed her temple, “but there’s no way I can walk away from you.”

 “So, Tuesday night?”

 “Tuesday night,” he agreed. “I’ll see you then. I need to get home before Madge…”

 She leaned over to kiss him and stared into his eyes. “Good night, Peeta. Thanks for coming.”

 “Thanks for making me come,” he teased and kissed the tip of her nose. “See you in the office tomorrow. I’ll bring coffee.”

 “You know how I like it.”

 “I do now,” he threw over his shoulder as he left. When the door closed behind him, she sighed contentedly and wriggled down into the couch. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to relive Peeta’s visit, every caress, kiss, and lick. The sounds he made against her skin when he came, the feel of his tongue inside her, the taste of her on his lips… Deciding against taking a shower so she could smell him on her as she slept, she went to bed and pushed aside the guilt she felt when she imagined him lying next to his very pregnant wife.

 Peeta’s appearance at her desk with coffee the next morning resulted in raised eyebrows from both Annie and Johanna, but Katniss didn’t acknowledge their questioning looks. Peeta’s visit the previous night broke through all the tension that had emerged between them since she’d realized he was interested in her. Peeta sent her several suggestive messages throughout the day, and they returned to Sae’s Deli for lunch before passing the afternoon with stolen glances and dirty texts.

 The next day, Johanna followed her to the bathroom and cornered her before she could leave.

 “So, you’re going to go for it, huh?”

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Katniss insisted. “Excuse me, I need to go to the restroom.”

 “Oh, come on, Brainless. Anybody with two eyes can see the tension between you two. You’ve been avoiding each other for weeks, and now you’re thick as thieves again?” Johanna tugged at her short, spiky hair. “You’re going to do him, aren’t you?”

 “Johanna, the only thing I’m going to do right now is piss.”

 “I don’t believe you.”

 “Sucks for you then. Get the hell away from me.” With that, Katniss pushed past her co-worker and locked herself in the stall.

 Only a few more hours, and then Peeta will be at my place.

 After what had happened Sunday night, she couldn’t wait to see what else his mouth could do.