#and i feel guilty cuz i don't really make enough money to be able to help with finances n stuf

[tsugumichikaneshiro]

i really really want to move in with my wife i miss her... but i donttt have tha money to fly there.... 😓😓

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1204: Exciting News!~ (Persona 5 x Sonic)

Futuba: Great news, everyone!~

Futuba: Gotta enough money to buy a brand new video game today!~ Which will go lovely for our upcoming sleepover at café later on tonite if any if u lovely people are interested~

Mona: Sure

Lavenza: We'd love that very much~

Omega: Invite accepted

Tae: That depends.

Tae: Will my dear Sae be there too?

Futuba: U know it!~ I already asked her join

Futuba: And u know as well as i do that she couldn't say no to this face~

Futuba: Puppy Dog Oracle.jpg

Tae: Lol nice~

Yusuke: What game have you purchased this time, Futaba?

Futaba: The sequel of this masterpiece of a gem!

Futaba: Hades 2.jpg

Futaba: Really good thing I got it in time too. It was last one they have in the shelves lol

Tae: Wait time out.

Tae: You kids used to play Hades at one point?

Mona: Yeah a long time ago actually

Mona: It was so much fun~

Futaba: So much fun~

Lavenza: And the artstyle and the soundtrack the previous game has offered are both equally as breathtaking~

Yusuke: Yes, indeed.

Yusuke: That game, to tis day, has inspired me into bettering my skills in drawing and painting

Yusuke: It even got me to creating a portrait of Lady Aphrodite of my interpretation.

Yusuke: Goddess of Love & Beauty.jpg

Tae: Impressive.

Lavenza: Very lovely indeed~

Omega: Your artwork continues to not disappoint the eyes of many beholders

Yusuke: Thank you.

Yusuke: It's still a Work in Progress, but I refuse to rest until I could completely capture the beauty and elegance the goddess herself, has effortlessly grace upon the screen.

Futaba: Wow, Inari!~ I didn't know u find the Goddess of Love affective~ 😏

Yusuke: I do to some extent.

Yusuke: But she could never reach the status of true beauty and magnificence as you do in my very heart, Futaba Sakura.

Futaba: iyggbtt ft jgchj ft ykjghikndfonnf

Yusuke: Futaba!?

Tae: I wouldn't worry about her too much, kid.

Tae: Texts like that mostly indicates your partner blushing up a storm right now. Common occurrence really.

Mona: You made Sae blush during a text before, haven't you?

Tae: Guilty as charged~ 😉

Omega: Common occurrence is an incredible understatement considering the fiftieth times Rouge would make Knuckles blush in their texting conversation

Lavenza: I've made Mona-Chan blush twentieth times on our texts!~

Mona: Sufeeszxgy Lavenza! They don't need to know that here!

Lavenza: Oops!~

Lavenza: Sorry my love!~

Futqba: INARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Futaba: At least warn a girl before u start making her cheeks flare up like that!

Futuba: I nearly dropped my phone on the floor cuz of u!!

Yusuke: Apologies, Futaba.

Yusuke: I never realized my text would give you that much of a reaction. Hope you are well.

Futaba: Yeah, I'm fine don't worry about it.

Futaba: I feel a lot better now knowing our favorite lover kitty boi here is wayyy more of a blushing mess than I am~ 😏

Mona: Oh shut up!

Mona: At least I don't carelessly drop my phone on the ground after receiving a compliment!

Futaba: Better than getting flustered over twenty times in the row!

Mona: IT HAPPENED SEPARATELY!

Futaba: Press D for Doubt!~

Omega: D

Mona: OMEGA DON'T HUMOR HER!!

Omega: How else do you expect me make Futaba feel better more than she currently is?

Futaba: AWWWW!~ Love u Big Guy!!~ 😊 😊

Omega: 👍 👍

Mona: Oh barf.

Lavenza: Morgana, be nice

Lavenza: So Futaba-Chan, how exactly were you able to afford this game?

Tae: Yeah, I heard they're crazy expensive

Futaba: Oh I just saved a few money I have left on pocket

Futaba: Add thay with the money I've earned winning another bet Sojiro and I made a while back ehehehehe!~ 😈

Mona: Oh god. What did you two bet on this time?

Futaba: Well, u see, my kitty bro, to answer that question, allow me to present u all the second of the spendid news we have today

Futaba: Guess who about to get hitch in the near future?

Futaba: Here's a hint: it's the one couple who's been acting like a married one since the day they became a thing!~

Mona: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Tae: Is it who I think it is?

Lavenza: Ren-Ren and Makoto are going to get married!?~

Futaba: Ren-Ren/Makoto AND Ann/Shiho are both getting hitched!~

Futaba: And the best part about all of this is.....Makot.and Shiho are the ones gonna do the propose!~

Tae: Damn really? And here I thought Guinea Pig would be the one to do it lol

Mona: Wait, is that what you guys been betting on?

Mona: See who gets to propose first?

Futaba: Yeeeup!~

Futaba: Victory couldn't be any sweeter

Omega: Congratulations and wedding gifts will be in order when the time is set to motion

Futaba: Ooh Omega! Wanna share a gift with me to give?

Futaba: I wanna consider this thx for being the best robot bro ever!~ ☺

Omega: I would be honored ☺

Lavenza: Awwwwww~

Tae: Adorable

Mona: Still barf

Lavenza: Mona!

Yusuke: Just to be certain. Makoto and Shiho-san are the ones that are going to propose, yes?

Futaba: That's what i said!~ Possibly later this year actually. Why?

Yusuke: Oh I was planning on informing the others on this glorious news.

Futaba: Sweet!

Futaba: Just don't mention any of this Ren and Ann. It's a secret for them to find out on their own

Yusuke: Roger.

.......................................................................................

Meanwhile at Okmura Residence.........

Ryuji: (Immediately Gets Up From his Seat Along With his Girlfriend, Haru) HOLY SHIT!

Haru: (Clasps her Hands Together With Happiness and Excitement in her Eyes) They're getting married!?~

Ryuji: It's finally happening!~

Haru: I'm so happy for all of them!~

The couple hugs each other before hopping around and cheering in rejoice over the exciting news.

Haru: This is truly wonderful!~

Ryuji: I know, right!? About damn time those lovebirds get hitched!

Haru: There's so much to plan and prepare for- ('GASPS') (Grab Hold of her Boyfriend's Shoulders) RYUJI! We need to find ourselves the perfect wedding gifts for both parties ASAP-

Ryuji: (Gently Place his Hand Onto Haru's Arm, Helping her Calm Down a Bit) Woah, woah. Easy there, hun, relax. They said they'll propose later this year, right? We have all the time in the world to get ready by then.

Haru: ( Sigh in a Bit of Relief') If you're certain. I just hope the presents we pick out for them will be at least presentable. (Grabs her Chin While Thinking) I wonder if Yusuke is doing an open art commission at this time......

Ryuji: It's possible. If not, I could always try convincing him to- (Etes Suddenly Begins to Widened Before Facepalming Himself and Groaning) Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit.........

Haru: (Starts Getting Worried) What's wrong?

Ryuji: I just remembered the bet he abd I made a while back on which is gonna propose. And guess who now owes the guy fifty bucks?

Haru: How much do you have now? I could help you pay it off.

Ryuji: (Takes His Wallet Out of his Pants Pocket and Opens it Before Looking For Something Inside) I got like....twenty bucks left I think? (Turns to Haru) But you really don't have to go out of your way to help me.

Haru: (Gives Ryuji a Reassuring Smile) True, but I don't mind at all. (Forms a Playful Smirk on her Face) If you so something for me in return~

Ryuji: Up! (Smirks Back) There's that catch I've been looking for. What you want in return?

Haru: Ohh nothing grand~ (Hugs Ryuji Again) I just want to spend the rest of the evening here with the love of my life~ Talk over dinner, movie, under the stars..... (Starts Smirking Seductively) Maybe doing something more sensual afterwards if you behave well enough~

Ryuji: ('Heh') Sounds like hell of a good compromise to me. You got yourself deal, gorgeous~

Haru: Good~ (Gives Ryuji a Kiss on the Lips) Pleasure doing business with you my dear~

Ryuji: Ditto~

The couple resume back to their making out session, having it yurn more passionate real fast.

@princekirijo

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

@decibelcoatl

[avintagekiss24]

Hi! I don't want to start anything on here and am always willing for civil conversations. At this point there's so much I've found out about Seb (besides the video he liked, the tommy lee thing, and the girlfriend thing) that I feel so guilty if I would continue to support him. I love him sm but it just doesn't look good rn. He is associated/follows an organisation (for helping veterans) that has posted a blue lives matter flag picture and who's co-founder has sexual assault allegations against him, and worked with him in 'The last full measure'. His friend Paul Walter Hauser has done blackface in the past, and when called out on it he just listed a few people that also did blackface. There's more, I found a discussion on here that I can link. I seriously don't support "cancel culture" bc I don't think it helps anyone but there are just a lot of 'mistakes' and shady people that can be linked to Seb, I wish it wouldn't be that way. I honestly don't know what to think about it anymore.

Hi! I’m also open to having civil conversations and I don’t believe you’re trying to start anything. I really do think this situation of dragging up a four year old video and taking it completely out of context is harmful not just to Black people, but to fandom/activism in general. This is gonna be long because I’m going to take your points one by one, and I want to preface this by saying that I will not answer any derogatory, sideways asks pertaining to this subject. I will delete every single one and will block your silly ass. I’m not going to argue with people who think I’m blindly supporting Sebastian because I’m just trying to get fucked by him, or people who think I hate myself and am trying to appease some white man.

So, on with the discourse!

The video he liked - this video was taken completely out of context and that is my main issue with this whole situation. It was not a video of a white man saying that he thinks he should be able to say the n word as everyone claimed it was. They were quickly debating on whether or not it's okay to say in rap lyrics. He was told no, that's not okay, that's never okay and they moved on from it. That's it. End of story. That somehow was twisted into a click bait style headline of "Sebastian Stan likes a video of a white man defending his right to say the n word" when that is absolutely not true. My other issue is that people are more upset that Sebastian liked the video than they are about the white man in the video literally saying the n word. So, do you really care about the use of the n word like you're claiming? Cuz if you do, you'd be more upset at the white man that said the word than you would be about the white man simply liking the video. Or, are you just using this as an excuse to grandstand against a white man you don't like?

The Tommy Lee thing - Sebastian Stan playing Tommy Lee does not make Sebastian Stan a bad person. Is Charlize Theron a bad person for playing Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who started murdering men? Is Leonardo DiCaprio a bad person for playing a slave owner? Is Edward Norton a bad person for playing a nazi sympathizing racist? Actors play bad people. That doesn't mean that they themselves are bad people. 1990's Tommy Lee was a bad person, but that should have no bearing on who Sebastian Stan is or his character as a man.

The gf/Paul Walter Hauser thing - Why are we holding Sebastian accountable for what the people around him are doing? Again, why are we more upset that Sebastian is associated with people who have done questionable things than the specific people themselves? I'm not going to speak on the kimono wearing -- I'm not Asian. It's not my place to say whether or not its offensive because it's not my culture, but she posted that picture and attended that party before she started dating Sebastian, quite possibly before she even knew him. Same with Paul. I think that black face thing was long before he knew Sebastian. Now, if Sebastian was defending these actions, going around saying "I think it's okay for white women to wear Kimono's" "I think black face is fine" "I think white people should be able to say the n word" then we'd have a different story, wouldn't we? But that's not what we have, and that's not what he is doing. He is not responsible for the things his friends do or have done in the past just because he's more famous than they are, and he is not required to speak on them. Let's put it this way -- would you be comfortable having to be responsible for something a friend of yours did before you knew them? Would you want to have to be forced to answer for your friend when you yourself had nothing to do with the questionable behavior?

The organization that supports the military/blue lives matter - Sebastian cannot control what message that foundation puts out and it does not mean that he is or is not pro-police himself. There is not enough concrete evidence -- if any evidence for that matter -- that Sebastian is a blue lives matter supporter. Did Sebastian donate before they put up the blue lives matter post? Or after? I don’t know, cuz I don’t follow him that closely, but if he donates before they come out with a particular stance, that means he should be held accountable for that? I know I donated to an organization once and they turned out to support something that i’m 100% against. That means I’m a bad person because I couldn’t see into the future? Another point, how can we be certain that Sebastian saw the blue lives matter post in the first place? I know I’m not online 24 hrs a day, I miss posts all the time and I’m just an average person. I make three or four tumblr posts a day, and I’m gone. I have to play catch up on social media, and even then, I still miss stuff. So I’m sure the same happens to a working actor. As for the co-founder, I don't know who this person is and would rather not get into any allegations against them because I don't want to trigger anyone who comes across this post. If Sebastian knows about these allegations, is a willing participant/supporter of this person then yeah, that's pretty shitty, but we don't know the inner workings of this friendship/acquaintance/work relationship. We don’t know how close they are or if they even still speak.

I’m a pretty big fan of Don Cheadle. He’s a stand up guy, he’s a great actor, he’s funny, he’s political and stands up for what he believes in and in a very public way. I support him. Don Cheadle is also friends with Chris Evans, RDJ, Mark Ruffalo, and Letitia Wright (just to name a few). Chris Evans has a bipartisan forum that highlights/promotes right wing politicians, RDJ defended Chris Pratt during the whole “he’s the worst Chris in Hollywood” crap, who’s technically done black face, and who once said to a female reporter “nice tits” when she walked into the room, Mark Ruffalo just walked back his support of Palestine, and Letitia Wright retweeted/supported an anti-vaxxer/anti-trans Pastor who equated an ingredient of the covid vaccine to the devil because it contained some parts of the word Lucifer. Does that mean Don is now a bad person because he’s friends with these people? Why isn’t he getting any heat for his friendships with them? Why isn’t he being held accountable for what they’ve done and said? Oh right, because he’s not a white fave. So people don’t care one way or the other, which brings me to my next point. 

I can guarantee you that if Sebastian’s gf or Paul or this co-founder were not associated with Sebastian in any way, nobody would give a shit about her wearing a kimono, about Paul doing black face, or about the co-founder/organization being blue lives matter supporters and in that lies the actual problem. Being critical of people and their actions should be consistent and should happen all the time -- not just when they interact with your white fave. That’s when it becomes performative and looks like you just want to be able to show internet people that you follow/support/stan unproblematic celebrities, when really, you don’t care.

I think the moral of this post is that I think it's unfair to hold a complete stranger to a standard that I cannot hold myself to. I also don't view celebrities the way most teenagers/twenty somethings do, and that’s because when I entered fandom we didn't have social media, so I grew up with a wall between myself and said celebrities. There is no wall now with the presence of social media. "Fans" nowadays have a weird ownership feeling over celebrities because they can read their personal thoughts or view personal pictures and think that they have this personal quasi-friendship with them. I can't get on board with that. I prefer having the wall and I still keep the wall.

If supporting Sebastian makes you uncomfortable, then by all means, stop supporting him. Just make sure you are making this decision for yourself based on credible sources and concrete evidence and that you're not letting this fake woke activist mob make you feel uncomfortable. Internet activism means nothing unless you put your money where your mouth is in your real life and 90% of the social justice internet warriors do not. Real activism is bigger than changing your avi to a black square.

[aquanology]

SHE LI ANALYSIS CAUSE I CAN!!! (THANKS FOR 50+ FOLLOWERS AND NO THERE'S NOTHING MISSING IN HERE ITS 50+)

Yo so I've reached 50 followers a long while ago and I wanted to do something big but I hesitated and didn't know what to do...I thought a lot about it and it's here. The long awaited She li analysis, I was waiting for the new chapter so I can make this. Anyways I hope you enjoy it (or maybe not?)

So from far away people wo see She li as a Bully Mo and when they learn that his family posses good amounts of money, everyone would see him as a rich brat and I wouldn't blame them, Though that's not all there's to it. it's much deeper and yes I have 5000 IQ how did you know?

Now his childhood wasn't that great looking at how he was surrounded by maids and not his parents most of the time, mostly because they were busy working and when they weren't busy doing work they would be busy arguing about things that little She li didn't know much about.

It was pretty lonely even if people would surround him be it the maids, the other adults or even other kids he wasn't getting the attention of his parents. He might've thought that he wasn't important enough for his parents to spare a moment or two to spend time with him or atleast for his parents to look at his way. He hated their noisy fights and so, like any kid who didn't want to listen to his parent's loud arguments!that might've seemed like a broken record for him at the time, he would go outside to distracte himself. I don't know how many times he had to do this to ignore the pain that his parent's loud fighting has been causing to him, and I don't know how long he spent his time doing that (probably as long as the fighting continued) but I'm pretty sure that what we saw from She Li's flashback wasn't his first time doing so. And I'm sure he was trying to inflict physical pain so he can forgot the mental pain. At that point little She Li might've felt a bit...empty because no one really seemed to genuinely care for him or spend time with him and he didn't seem to have a special relationship with anyone either, he might've felt like he wasn't a human because of all of that.... he might've been sad and angry that he can't experience love and affection perhaps he thought that it's his fault for feeling down all the time, when in reality it was his parents fault for not using the spare time they have for providing She Li with affection and quality time instead of arguing most of the time. I'm sure he felt less of person because he didn't get what he really needed as a kid. But little did She Li know that he will feel less of human the next time his parents argue loudly.

That had started with the routine of his parents fighting and She Li looking for something to distract himself with, he ended up digging for worms and I suspect that he did that for a long while that day in which might've explain the bleeding. Later on he got diagnosed with Guillain-Barre' (Ghee-Yan Bah-Yan) syndrome this syndrome is a autoimmune type, in which a persons own immune system damages the nerves causing muscle weakness or paralysis, it can cause symptoms that last from few weeks to several years however most people recover fully while some have permanent nerve damage.

His thoughts were seemingly messy I wouldn't blame him if he still thought that his parents didn't care about him, I mean it was kind of their fault for not asking about what he does when playing outside or with whom, or for the least bit leaving a maid or two to check on him from time to time. But it was that day when he met a certain person in that hospital.

It was Mo Guan Shan that he saw at the hospital. A kid who was capable of feeling pain both physical and mental, not only that but he has a caring mother who seemed to care about her kid. At that moment She Li must've felt envious, a kid whom he didn't know had everything that She li didn't, he had the ability to feel pain and suffer and on top of that he had someone who cared about him who loved him and gave him attention when he needed it the most.

Perhaps She Li thinks that if Mo Guan Shan would become a happier and a healthier person then he would be superior to She Li, because then he would have something that is far away from She Li's reach and capability.

That's why he keeps on hurting Mo over and over again whenever Mo is feeling better or even worse. Maybe She li feels superior or on the same level as Mo when he stops him from feeling truly happy and at peace with his loved ones. As if only then the gap will become bigger than it was before. Because She Li thinks that he won't be able to be the same as Mo is, I mean he might get his syndrome treated and he might be able to feel the pain (both physical and mental) but She Li isn't sure of he can actually be truly loved or if he will be capable of loving and making someone as happy. And that is why he says things like this:

Of course it's not only to make Mo feel bad (cuz like no would want to be told that they are the same as She Li is) but to also make himself feel like they are the same (be it on the same level or the same type of people) when they are not.

I do think that She Li admires Mo for how human he is and he doesn't want him to be anymore of a human he wants Mo to be the same as him, someone who can't have anyone care about him, someone who might numb out and stop being a human for their own desires and someone who can be as hurt and heartless as She Li is regarding that he is hurt inside. I also think that She Li and He tian are similar I mean both of them were not met with love and affection from their family except He Cheng tried to rub the illusion of their fathers love on He tian, though it didn't work quite well. A relationship where you have to sacrifice everything to receive approval isn't and wouldn't be ideal from He tain's perspective, as well as She Li never talk about how he felt (he most likely didn't) the pain that he got from his parents inability to raise him properly like other parents do (by loving him and spending some time with him). However I'm not blaming everything on his parents they had their reasons yet that doesn't mean that it's justified to argue outloud most of the time and pay less attention for your kid than you with your job and arguments. Also I want to make that this post isn't here to justify She Li's bad actions against other people but to just look at him as something other than a snake, to look at him as a human and to hold accountable are both as important as the other is, and I don't want She Li to just have his actions bite him back but to also learn how bad his actions are. I want him to know very well that he hurt others and I want him to feel guilty and I want him to change, remember staying ignorant can not only hurt him but everyone else but learning where he made mistakes and holding himself accountable can help everyone not only the people hurt by him, us too will highly benefit.

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Hey so this is me- the present me since I don't do this all in one day (cuz I'm a lazy person) so I hope ypu enjoyed this analysis and I hope I made it clear enough that this isn't for justifieing She Li's actions but an attempt to try and understand him. Also I'm sorry cuz I made a post a long while ago about She li and I though he had a different illness than the one in the manhua and I linked a website for that illness, however I deleted the post and I apologize for the big mistake...

This is the link for She Li's actual syndrome if you want to know more about it.

Anyways this was my "Why is She Li a bitch" post- wait, shit this the wrong script...welp can't change it now I guess. Again thank you for 50+ followers stay healthy and don't be a bitch like She Li.

[xiaowhore]

This is so long-

Okay, Idea of Xiao fic:

The reader is a spirit born of the desires and dreams of a sick little girl, she has a strange disease that comes suddenly and lasts for long periods of time (months) before healing, leaving for a while and coming back again. That is why she is not usually outside and is usually alone in her room, sick or resting. But she's actually a pretty active, imaginative and curious little girl, and she'd love to travel and explore the world. Not to discourage her, the doctors and her parents told her that when she was older the disease would go away, and that she could go on adventures and live a normal life.

She usually dreamed of waking up to it, imagining herself as an old man in adventures and doing everything she dreamed of doing, so she created an idealized figure of what she would be like as old, who then became an imaginary friend and out of this came the reader. Although, she was rather a quiet person, and was like an older sister, she would tell her stories to distract her when she was sick and also sing songs about them, in addition to giving her hope that she could be healed.

She knew it was cruel, but she couldn't tell her otherwise, besides, a part of her believed that maybe, maybe, her dreams could come true someday.

There was a time in ma when the girl was fine for quite some time, so they let her go out and do whatever she wanted for mondstadt, the reader accompanying her along with her parents. While exploring she saw Venti who was singing a song, she was marabillated and loved his song, telling the reader how they were like hers. Before leaving, Venti made eye contact with the reader and she get scared, no one had ever seen her before and without the little girl noticing, she disappeared. The next day she met Venti again and apparently the girl had talked to him about her, but he knew she was not just an imaginary friend.

"You... what are you?"

She told him what it was (even though she herself didn't know what she was) and her relationship with the girl, she also told him that within here not long they would go to Lyue to find a doctor who could help the girl. He also told her that he would like to be able to make the girl's wishes come true, show her all the fantastic places that she had talked about and sung about and that she could grow up and have the life that she wanted so much. Venti listened and smiled, and asked her to do a duet to sing to the girl, she came and they sang, to her surprise, the people gathered, it seems that during her singing they could see and hear her, but at the end of the song, she became invisible and inaudible to everyone again. As venti left, she felt something heavy and cold against her palm, a bright vision hydro greeting her with her reflection.

She was able to make water and make illusions and shapes with it and used them to tell stories to the girl. Apparently people listened to her, but she decided not to pay too much attention to her, although the girl was happy that more people could enjoy her songs.

They go to lyue and stay at wangshu inn, at first people were scared of the sudden singing voice that started to be heard, but they got carried away by the wonderful voice and became used to it. (I imagine chongyun listening this and going there but we're not going to talk about that-) And Xiao, of course is one of those who hears this too. Although at first he was restless and even a little irritated by the disturbance of the usual silence, he found himself relaxing before the sweet voice, sometimes numbing it. The story is in general of how Xiao and she approach and overcome things like xiao's traumas and in the case of the reader overcome the girl's death. In the end also, the reader turns in a adeptus, Zhongli gave her that charge after seeing that she always went throughout lyue to sing and entertain people (after she overcame the girl's death). The ending would be where xiao and she are happy together, cause they now have someone by their side, someone to care and love.

Isekai idea:

The reader died (yes, she died) in a plane crash (she is now afraid of heights and everything that has to do with flying) and was saved by Paimon and Aether. She is scared and doesn't know what to do (her personality is I think identical to that of the girl from albedo's idea I had). She not knowing anyone and not having a place to go stays with them, but feels a useless and a burden, she is a normal person and cannot cope with monsters and when she sees them she is paralyzed with fear. When they arrive in madnostat, aether tells her to stay there while he makes commissions to earn money, but she feels guilty and asks amber for help in getting a job.

At first she works at Angel's Share, but feels uncomfortable working there among people who get drunk, but says nothing and keeps working. She thinks it would be ungrateful to want to change jobs, so she keeps working there for a couple of weeks. On one of his working days he meets venti, who immediately notices how uncomfortable she is, they talk for a while and he advises her to look for another job, but she does not give up and continues to work there.

Amber one day goes and asks how she is doing, but before the reader can answer Venti tells aber that she is uncomfortable working there and should look for another job. The reader tries to tell Amber that she is ok and doesn't mind working there anymore, but amber interrupts her and goes with her to find another job. In the end they go to where Jean is and on the way they meet Lisa, who was leaving the library. Lisa greets Amber and she returns the greeting, Lisa asks them what they are doing and Amber replies that looking for work for the reader, Lisa offers her work and ends up working in the library. In the end she ends up being quite close to Venti and is the one to whom she has told many things about her ( our) world.

In general she is only a spectator who sees everything from a distance, she doesn't know what todo either and doesn't like to go from one place to another without direction, she would like to have a place to belong to without feeling a stranger all the time. Before going to Lyue Venti gives her a vision (she has the same powers as the albedo idea reader). Honestly, I don't know very well how this story would go, I don't remember very well the story of the game and I don't know any place where I can see it again and in detail. Any ideas for this story are welcome, I need them.

dude... the personalities you give to the reader are so in depth...... normally, writers would just describe the reader vaguely, so im very much impressed. but i think i know why you have difficulty writing for what happens in the main plot? (i hope you don't take this the wrong way, this is just something harmless i noticed)

it seems you focus too much on the back story and it makes the main plot somewhat bland? or perhaps you just chose to miss more details on the main plot cuz you wanted to keep the surprises in your story? however, i do think your first idea was really interesting! i'm only talking about the isekai one (it would make sense if you just came up with the isekai idea recently and don't have much stuff for it yet) i don't think i have ideas concrete enough to be helpful, so i'm sorry about that, but maybe you can do something with the reader's fear of heights? like maybe she fell off from a high place again, and her first meeting with xiao is him catching her? aaaaaa i don't know,, it sounds cliche but i'm the type of person who'd enjoy that stuff ;-;

[dreamychick]

Bad mental health space

You ever have a friend, or friends who try to help you out but it just makes you more anxious? Like, for example. I was freaking out and spiraling about a pair of shoes that I have to buy for my new job. I don't wear girly shoes. They don't fit my wide fucking foot. They crunch my toes, and if I go up a half size my heel falls out. So my friend Mel works in an office and I ask her about getting moccassins and she says no cuz they're to casual and I should get the other shoes instead. And I'm just spiraling about everything. Since getting this job I've had really bad Imposter syndrome, where I feel like I lied to get this job and I don't really deserve it. I got the interview and another of my friends didn't and she is way smarter than I am. She in NO way blames me for not getting an interview. We both agree it's because I have almost double her work experience.

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But I'm getting side tracked. Since getting this job and finishing my paper work and Orientation around the corner I now have to buy clothes for my first day. Because I have nothing appropriate. I wear jeans and sneakers every day of my life. Even to the jobs I have now. And what is the number one rule of this new job?

No jeans or sneakers. So I have to buy clothes. I hate buyimg clothes. Nothing ever fits right, or it doesn't look good. Or it's to much money. Whatever. And especially THIS kind of shopping.

I feel like a liar. Slacks and a fluffy long sleeve shirt. It's pretty and professional. And looks like what my sister would wear. It's not me. And I know I can't expect to wear ratty jeans forever. But these fancy clothes (that cost $25 for the 3x blouses and $28 for 2x slacks, and $8.99 for 2 bras that fit, hell yeah Burlington Coat Factory)just are not me.

So, long story short (ha) Mel calls me after I'd already come back up from my spiral and wants to help me.

She has all the good intentions of the world. She is sweet and I love her. But she stresses me out with this. She's positive and supportive, but pushes me to do things that I'm not ready to do. Should I do them? Yeah probably. Are they unreasonable? A majority of them are not. But will I listen? Probably not.

Because I make excuses. But I also feel like people don't truly understand the stress I'm under. Self inflicted or not.

"I don't have time."

"Just do something you like to do for 5 minutes. Read 1 page in a book. That's all. Small goals. Baby steps."

And she is 100% right. But, Jesus Fuck. I've been trying.I've picked up several different books. So many times. I want to read. I try. And then my brain hurts or gets to tired to focus.

She just sat on the phone with me for 45 minutes tellings me that we are going to start making me happy. We're going to force time to do it.

All good advice.

That stresses me out. I don't have time. I'm so tired. I have so much to do. And there is always something else I should be doing, so I can never enjoy what I'm doing because I feel guilty that my room is a mess. Or I should be hanging out with my mom. Or helping her clean. There is always something more important I should be doing.

I also always feel like I have no time. Always running out of time. I'll wake up at 11 and not have to leave for work til 330 and be like, 4.5hrs before work? That's not enough time to do anything. I don't want to start something I can't finish. So I watch youtube. Usually the SAME youtube I've seen a 100x.

But that's what I do. I make excuses and I let my stress and anxiety and constant panic attacks rule my life.

"Let's figure out what makes you happy."

Nothing. Doing things I used to enjoy with the depression taints them.

"You have to push past it and try."

Absolutely true. You do have to force yourself or the depression wins.

But am I forcing myself? No. I'm not. I've honestly tried. I'm tired and it beats me down. I try and when I can't succeed, instead of beig proud that I tried all I see is I failed.

"I read a page!"

You should have read the chapter.

"I ran 4.35 miles!"

You could have gone faster and hit 4.5

"I put my clothes away!"

That's something you SHOULD be doing. Do you want a cookie?

I always fewl like a failure, I'm not doing enough, I'm not trying hard enough.

So bringing it back to point again, Mel trying to help just makes me feel like a failure. Because I should be trying HARDER I should be able to do SOMETHING. But I'm not. I'm failing. I'm making excuses and letting my anxiety and sadness win.

"Now that you see that's what you're doing, you should fix it! Try a little harder!"

But I won't. Why? Because I am just. So. Tired. And the depression and anxiety that cling to me and pull me down like weights, are just to much to ignore. So I let them pull me until I fall. And sometimes I don't get back up for a while. I'll get up eventually but then it's like,

"You could have stopped that pity party houra ago."

And I'm right back where I started. And no amount of positive, or negative talk will change that. Positive talk makes me feel guilty. Negative talk makes me sad. So what do I do? Well, what I do best. Watch youtube and zone out and try to astral project into a new reality. One where the voice in my head isn't such a judgemental bitch.

Sorry I only have access to a mobile and I cannpt figure out how to add the Read More.

[theouijagirl]

I literally don't know how to say this without sounding like I'm patting myself on the back so I'm sorry lol I really hope that just cuz I donated to u u don't feel like ur not deserving of doing things that make u happy when u are stable enough like if anyone donates money hoping that the person receiving it makes it last for months or doesn't do anything to treat themselves then theyre just dumb like that already comes w the territory of donating to someone it's not my money now do what u will

Honestly I think this fear I have comes from my ex, who was never happy with the fact that I would be broke for a whole month, only to go on vacation the next. I get where he was coming from though, because at that point we were starting to plan our future together, and he didn’t want a wife with such a fluctuating budget. He really did make me feel guilty for planning vacations while poor, or blowing a paycheck on something for me and then begging for money afterwards.

Also, whenever I post anything at all on this blog, I have to think about how someone could attack me for it. So instead of being surprised that I’m suddenly getting hate, I’m prepared for it and can stand up for myself. Because people have come at me for the most petty things, and instead of being totally blindsided, I can be ready to shut them down.

I appreciate that you donated to me (you sent me this before my cat had this health crisis, which so many sent me support for) because I was able to get my bike fixed up and I also got to buy milk for this week, since I was just planning on slowly rationing it out. Your donation made my life a lot easier this week, and I’m so thankful. And a very, very sincere thank you to everyone who donated to Jack. I honestly don’t know what I do without you guys sometimes.