#and i feel like center 5 would rather kill themselves than take the camera focus out of wonbin for 2 seconds like.

[cupuasu]

btw also watched this and like wow i wonder of shotaro will ever get a chance to do this again like this was so good

[miss-ali-lawliet]

Heyy!! I was wondering if you could do a L x reader where the reader gets killed by Kira because they were involved with L. If you aren’t confortable writing this it’s ok! Thank you~

Hello Anon and thank you for the request!! I'm comfortable with it and even though I'd rather see L being happy, I am a sucker for angst. So hopefully I do this justice!

Also note I have rewritten this way too many times to count 😭 I really tried my best, but I'm so sorry this took so long! Also there was technically two requests asking for the same sort of thing. I’ll get to the next headcanons as soon as I can, but hope whoever is reading this had a great day/night wherever you are!

CW: Death, angst, fluff, kind of long

It was yet another normal day for the genius detective who called himself L. He had spent a majority of the day working with the task force members on the Kira case, mainly in monitoring the cameras inside the task force headquarters as well. It wasn't just the task force and Watari he was working with though, he also had the person he called his partner, in both work and romantically. 

Being in a relationship was obviously nothing he sought out or even bothered thinking about as he grew up, mainly finding himself way too focused with his work. He never thought of himself as someone to ever be with someone romantically and it was something he didn't feel sad about, he just didn't see the point in such a matter and didn't have the time for it. Yet that all changed when you entered his life. 

You were something he never expected. You came in and even though he may have tried to ignore you or treat you as he would with any person he would meet, you were different. You had met him years before the Kira case and made it clear that you simply wished to be by his side no matter what. Something he never understood, but never doubted as you had proven to him time and time again how loyal you were and that no matter the challenge, you would conquer them together. 

So he has asked you to work with him behind the scenes and you accepted. It seemed to have worked out very well too, as you had remained at his side unknown to the rest of the world just how he planned. It seemed like no case could do anything to knock either of you down, and L had even asked for you to move in with him. It was great, and it felt like you two could handle anything together. 

Then Kira came to be. 

L didn't want you to get involved at first, but once again your stubborn nature would prevail.

"If you have to risk your life by going to Japan, I will do the same. I will not stand by and let you do this alone!" 

It was one of the things you said, and it was the main thing that stood out to him and at that point he knew you wouldn't back down. So he agreed, letting you join him and Watari in going to Japan to help with the Kira case.

L snapped out of any thoughts he had when his lover moved up from where they laid, getting into a sitting position and resting their head against his arm gently. 

"Is something the matter?" He found himself asking, raising a brow as he glanced over at them. 

"Of course not, me wanting to be close to you isn't a bad thing" they would chuckle, moving a bit closer to the detective as he couldn't really argue with that. 

"I can tell there's a lot on your mind though, and I wish I could do more than just let you get lost in your work." His partner would frown as their gaze looked up at him a bit more. 

L would stare at them for a couple moments, it wasn't surprising that they'd take notice of his behavior after all. If it wasn't Watari catching on to how he might be feeling, it was his darling instead. 

"Well I'd rather get as much done with the Kira Case as possible… but if you had to decide on what I should do instead, what would it be?" He'd respond in his usual calm manner, wondering to see how they'd respond and it seems they knew right away.

"Easy, I'd want you to take a break." 

"You know that could be a bad ide-" he would start but you quickly cut him off.

"It's never a bad idea to take some time to take care of yourself and recharge, so when you go back to working you'll feel even better." They must have been thinking of this for a while with how fast they knew how to react to his statements. 

"I appreciate the thought Y/N, but-" He would begin, but they'd simply shake their head as they turned so they were sitting on their knees facing them. 

"I've already discussed this with Watari, and even he agreed a small break could be beneficial for you and the case. It won't be long, maybe a day at least or something.. like tomorrow for example." 

Of course Watari would go on their side, what a traitor, but honestly a small break didn't sound too awful. 

"Hm.. what would I even do on this break?" Inquired the messy haired man. 

"I was thinking that me and you could just spend some time together and do whatever we want that doesn't deal with the case…" his partner would begin to say, looking up at him with an almost longing sort of way. "It's been awhile since we've been able to do that sort of thing." 

"... That is true." L paused for a few moments, his work centered mind battling the other half that wanted to spend as much time as possible with the person he loved. "I have missed spending more time with you like that.."

Y/N would give him a soft smile as they scooted closer, moving his laptop slightly off to the side of his knees as they tested their hand on top of them instead.

"So is that a yes to the break for tomorrow?" They'd ask, leaning up a bit towards L who at this point had moved the laptop off of his lap completely and to the side of the bed so he could have his focus on them. 

"Mhm, it seems you know what's best for me after all" he'd say with a soft chuckle as his lips curled up into a soft smile. 

His lover's eyes would light up as their smile widened as they moved closer, putting L's knees down so they weren't too close to his chest. 

"I'd like to say so at least" they'd say in a playful and low tone as they moved as close as they could without being on his lap. 

Their face soon being inches away from his own to the point they felt each other's breaths mingle together. Soon enough the space between them disappeared as they couldn't hold back and kissed the dark haired detective. It was soft and warm before they found themselves deepening it, as if showing how much they both longed to just be together. L would bring a hand up to cup their cheek gently as they kissed for what he wished could last longer, but they pulled away after a couple of moments.

His partner's gaze remained on his face, chuckling softly as they leaned in and hugged him tightly. L would accept it as they ended up on his lap so he could hold them better. He rested a hand on their back as his other ran through their hair gently. 

"I can't wait for tomorrow" they'd say in an excited whisper, causing him to chuckle. 

"I can't wait either, I can already tell it's going to be more than worth it." L would say in an almost purr as he rested his eyes, them both snuggling together more, enjoying the closeness and warmth. 

"I love you." His partner would say softly, their chin resting on him and their voice sounding as if they were getting ready to drift away into a nice sleep in his arms. 

"I... you too..." He would reply a little hesitantly as he rubbed their back gently, listening to their heartbeat and steady breathing as their grip remained around him. The word love was something he had trouble with saying, as it was something he wasn't sure if he fully understood, but even if he couldn't say the word just yet, Y/N understood and seemed content nonetheless. 

They would continue to enjoy their silence together, it was peaceful and just felt perfect. A great way to end a day and get ready for the day they looked forward to together. L wasn't someone who looked forward to the days to come too much as he had his focus on work to the point where he'd lose track of time, but when it came to Y/N, he felt like he could truly experience normalcy for once. He had so much to look forward to, even if he wasn't really sure what that was yet. It felt like a fairytale he read once, where even through the rough times the two love interests would get through it together to have their happy ending. 

Unfortunately, this wasn't a fairytale. 

After what must have been around 5-10 minutes, when L had found himself beginning to drift off himself something changed. Something he could have predicted, but with the circumstances this was something he hoped would just never happen throughout the case, something he had tried to prevent with all of his safety precautions. It seemed as if he hadn't done enough though. 

The grip from his partner's would suddenly tighten as their heart rate would increase and their breathing hitched, making them let out a gasp. L jumped a little at their actions, his eyes shooting open as he turned his gaze towards them. 

"Y/N?? What's wrong?" He'd ask immediately, looking at them as their grip on them began to loosen more and more as their head slumped down as if they were on the verge of falling asleep still. 

L didn't know why at first but he felt dread creep up on him as his heartbeat began to race. Then he remembered people like Lind L Tailor who had a similar reaction, right before he.. no. No. His mind felt like it was beginning to buzz as he kept denying that possibility, repeating his partner's name as he raised their head to look at him. 

Their gaze wasn't anything like earlier. The light and all the warmth they had, how L could tell how they felt with a simple look, was gone. It seemed almost glazed over, distant, and any form of light was gone and dull as they stared up at him. 

Many questions went through the man's mind, how did Kira find out about them? How did they find out their name?? Did he know their connection to him?? What went wrong??? Yet his thoughts were torn from the questions as his dearest would groan softly in pain. They still could react which meant this wasn't some ordinary heart attack like Kira's last victims, perhaps there was a way to save them. 

"Y/N?? I know you can hear me, please say something-" L would begin but he knew that if Kira had gotten to them that his time was limited and that he had to act fast. He moved over to his phone, pressing a button that would contact Watari or any of the task force members. 

"Watari!" L began, his usual calm tone beginning to show some sort of panic as he spoke into the device, demanding that the older man or any of the members get in her to help. He didn't have much time to say a lot, just saying that you were hurt as needed medical attention as soon as possible. He didn't want to even bring up the name of the bastard that he knew was behind it, simply because a part of him didn't want to believe it even though it was obvious. 

After talking into the device he turned his full attention back onto the person that meant most to him who laid in his arms, their struggled breathing quickly becoming steady but more faint as the minutes passed. They stared up towards him with their lost gaze.

"Hold on, Y/N, help is coming.. Just hold on, It'll be okay." L began as he took their hand as all they could do was simply stare at him. 

As they stared and seemed to be struggling against what was happening, their breathing was becoming more faint as tears began to form at their eyes. It seemed that they were unable to speak, every time they opened their mouth to speak, a look of pain washed over them.

"Keep holding on, it'll be okay Y/N.. just keep holding on for me." He tried his best to keep his voice calm, yet as he looked down at them he felt his voice beginning to shake as if he was going to break. 

The fact they haven't died yet felt cruel to the man who held his lover, as if Kira was doing this on purpose somehow. As if they didn't deserve the mercy of having a quick and painless death in comparison to last criminals. This was a way for Kira to get back at L directly, and it was working unfortunately. 

L frowned, wiping their tears with one hand quickly before he checked their pulse. It was slowing down. No.. no, this can't be happening. This had to be some sort of cruel nightmare, something that wasn't unusual for him, but he knew that wasn't the case here. Watari soon arrived in the room with Soichiro and the other members, who looked like they wanted to help yet as Watari went over to L and Y/N, they had a feeling that there wasn't much they could do anyways.

As the pulse began to slow down and their breathing began to sound more forced as they struggled to speak and breathe normally, but under the influence of Kira it was impossible. There wasn't much time left, Watari knew this and so did L. They all knew that the fate of Y/N was in the hands of Kira and he had chosen to make their last moments something for the others involved to remember, as if it was a warning. 

L watched their expression as Watari tried to do what he could to keep her awake, which wasn't a whole lot unfortunately. His hand was still on their pulse as it slowed down even more. L couldn't stand this. He kept speaking to Y/N, no.. at this point it was more of a plea. Begging for them to keep going, yet as he saw how much they were suffering he wondered if it would be better if Kira could just end their suffering once and for all, which hurt him to even think about in the first place as he still was in denial about the situation. 

It couldn't end like this. He had promised to keep them safe, but he had failed them. Yet they had a peaceful look on their face as they smiled, as if they had accepted it. They began to open their mouth again, and even though they couldn't actually speak it was easy for L to see what they were mouthing. It was them saying that they loved him, and the more he thought about it, it seemed as if this was what they were trying to say this whole time. 

"I.. I love you too…" He found himself finally saying. The phrase he struggled saying fully and the one time he can actually say it was when they were being taken away from him. What type of cruel joke was this? 

His lover's eyes began to close, the smile on their face beginning to slowly fade. He held them close, fighting back any sort of emotion as he could hear their heart beginning to beat slower and slower.. until it finally stopped completely. 

"She's gone." Was all Watari said softly, mainly to the other members who had remained silent. 

The shock of the situation had made it hard for any of them to react, not sure what to say or do, especially when it came to L who went dead silent. It was as if they were all trying to figure out what to do next, but no one seemed to know the answer at that moment.

What happened afterwards was a blur for L as he held them close, all he remembered was Watari announcing it in the room and the rest of the world around him became fuzzy. The person who was teaching him how to love and loved him full heartedly, the one person who he had let in to see a side of L that no one else dared to bother with, was now gone. Kira had taken them away from him. 

He didn't know how it happened, yet he knew it had to be his fault. If he had been more careful, they would have most likely been fast asleep together to prepare for their break the next day. His chest ached as if he himself was having a heart attack of some sort, and a part of him would have preferred that then the pain that seemed to consume him. He kept his face down and buried into his partner's shoulder for who knows how long in the silent room. 

He wasn't sure what to do or say as the loss began to wash over the room. Matsuda looked as if he wanted to go over and comfort him, but even he knew that wasn't the best course of action. So the task force members kept their space, just remaining silent as Watari sat close. After a few moments the older man had waved towards the door, meaning it would be best for them to leave. So they did, leaving L alone with Watari. Soichiro would get in contact with someone to handle Y/N, but they'd all be respectful as L took this time to process everything. 

Watari rested a gentle hand on his shoulder, something L didn't react to at first before he looked up and glanced at Watari, tears had managed to fill his eyes. A sight that wasn't common to say the least. He looked at Watari, as if asking his caretaker what to do next but he gained no answer. Instead Watari just sat beside him with his hand on him gently, a small gesture yet it was something the detective needed. 

~~~

About an hour later, Y/N was taken away and L was left staring blankly out a window. The atmosphere was heavy as the task members haven't said too much to L yet, and when they did it was them apologizing for the loss and trying to show that they cared and were there for him. L didn't respond though, avoiding their gazes almost completely and stayed to himself for the most part. As he stood by himself by the window, Matsuda would find himself walking over finally.

"Ryuzaki…" he'd begin, making his presence known and to see if there was a response but not surprisingly there wasn't. 

"Is there anything we can do tonight?" He asked, frowning as he looked at his feet a little for a few seconds. "Whether it's something for the case or to help you feel better-"

"No." L had finally spoken, cutting off the other male who looked up a bit in surprise. 

"Huh? What do you mean no?" 

"There's nothing we can do at the moment for the case, and there's only one thing that could make me feel better about this situation."

"What is that?" Matsuda asked, yet even he had a feeling what the answer could be. So it didn't surprise him hearing it. 

"Simple. Catching Kira."

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] In The Arms of Love:  Chapter 5

Yuusaku was a touch loathe to admit it out loud, but he loved the new coat. Ai knew his measurements perfectly – though he hadn’t ever asked how Ai knew and wasn’t sure if he wanted to know – and he’d chosen a perfect color. And it was so warm.

He wasn’t so sure about the ice skates, though. He’d never bothered learning how to do it. He’d seen people going off with their skates before, but he’d never been able to dredge up the enthusiasm to do it himself.

But now things were different. He’d learned everything that he could about the Lost Incident, the Knights of Hanoi weren’t his enemy anymore, and the Ignis were safe with those who cared about them. SOLtech wasn’t an enemy either. He could do whatever he wanted to do. Revenge no longer consumed his life.

Which meant if he wanted to, he could go ice skating. And have fun.

The idea of having fun wasn’t one that had occurred to him in years. Fun was for other people, not for him. The closet he’d ever come to it were those times he’d been in Link Vrains and no one was actually attempting to kill him or worse.

Fun was apparently for Ai, who stood peering out the door and fidgeted, glancing back at him now and then.

“Are you ready yet?” Ai demanded to know. “The snow’s just about stopped.”

Yuusaku could have happily remained wrapped up in his new coat and sitting on the couch the whole time. But with the way Ai looked at him, he couldn’t bring himself to do that. He got to his feet, skates hung over one shoulder.

“We could go skating in Vrains,” he pointed out. That would be a lot less painful when he inevitably fell. He anticipated a lot of bruises today and didn’t look forward to any of them.

Ai patted him on the shoulder. “We could but that would mean you wouldn’t get to use your new skates or your new coat.”

Yuusaku reminded himself that Ai’s body was a SOLtis creation and that it was only Ai’s intelligence infusing it that made it look as if he were being given such large and melting eyes. Given the square shape of the pupils, it really shouldn’t have looked so adorable.

And yet, it did.

He shrugged and headed for the door. “If we’re going to do this, then let’s do it.”

Yuusaku wasn’t surprised to feel Ai’s arm sliding around him as they started walking. Ai had been a lot more huggy over the last day. It didn’t feel bad at all and he was starting to get used to it.

The more Ai hugged, the more he started to like it, in fact. He wasn’t sure of how else to feel about it. Ai was very warm and very strong and Yuusaku could forget about everything else for a few moments. He didn’t want to do that for long, but for those moments, he enjoyed the sensation.

He leaned his head against Ai as they walked. He didn’t see anyone else around who paid attention to them, so the silence and solitude encouraged him to wrap his own arm around Ai. Those few people who were around seemed more interested in the snow themselves than anything else.

“Where are we going?” Yuusaku asked at last. He really only knew the way from his apartment to school and to a few choice places where Kusanagi set up Cafe Nagi. He probably could have found his way to the hospital if he needed to and maybe a tiny handful of other places. But he didn’t remember any particular ice skating areas – not that he’d ever gone looking for them.

“Ice skating! Didn’t you hear me?” Ai stared at him with one of the most convincing innocent expressions ever. Yuusaku didn’t buy it for a moment.

“Where are we going ice skating?” Maybe if he made the questions short and to the point, Ai would give him actual answers.

Ai gestured grandly ahead of them. “There’s a skating rink this way. I found it on the internet last night.”

Yuusaku nodded. At least that made sense. He’d really never gone looking so he wouldn’t have known. Even if he’d walked right by it, he wouldn’t have guessed.

“It’s not one of those artificial ones either,” Ai told him, tightening his hold a little. “It’s a frozen pond. They keep a good watch on it to be sure the ice is thick enough.”

It had been very cold for several days now. He’d spent more time in Vrains because of that. So he guessed the place had thick enough ice to support skating.

Yuusaku wondered exactly what skating would be like. He thought he vaguely recalled having done it when he was very young. But he didn’t remember it well and he wasn’t sure if he really had done it or not. Most of his memories from before the Lost Incident were faded to the point of no longer existing or being so faint that he couldn’t distinguish them from childhood fantasies.

Ai’s arm around him tightened a little and Yuusaku let himself think about the future instead of the past. He did that a lot more these days, since the future held wonderful things such as Ai and all the rest of his friends.

And today it held actual ice skating. He could see people gathered up ahead, and from the way Ai picked up his pace, that was where they were going. Ai guided him to one of the benches and together they started to put their ice skates on.

“Do you know how to ice skate?” Yuusaku wondered as Ai took his hands and guided him towards the smooth ice.

“I know everything I want to know,” Ai promised him, grinning. Yuusaku wasn’t going to question that. He hoped that Ai wasn’t so heavy that he’d fall through the ice. But he had to trust that Ai knew what his body could and couldn’t do.

Ai kept a firm hold of his hands – Ai didn’t have gloves and they were warm - guiding him through the basics of getting his balance and starting to glide along the ice.

Yuusaku remained aware that there were other people watching. He kept all of his focus on Ai, however, more because Ai made sure that he wasn’t going to fall than anything else. He still hadn’t gotten adjusted to the thought that people could watch him and he would be safe.

He could hear a little of what they said – murmuring about how handsome Ai was and how close the two of them seemed. As long as they kept it like that, he was fine with it. He wondered what Ai would think and decided he already knew. If Ai knew that people were watching them, he’d do anything he could to keep their attention.

If? No. He knows. How could Ai not know? He could hear and see on a level that most humans couldn’t.

And from the way Ai chuckled in his ear, Ai was very aware of the fact they were being watched.

“Do you want to really give them something to stare at, Yuusaku-chan?” Ai murmured. Yuusaku shivered at the feel of those warm lips against his skin. He’d never known how good being touched could be until Ai started doing it on a regular basis.

“What do you mean?” There were things he would do and things he’d rather they didn’t show off in public. He had to hope that Ai knew the difference.

“You asked if I knew how to ice skate. Let me show you everything I can do.” Ai guided him back over to the bench and helped him to sit down, raising his voice a little. “You take a break. I’m going to go back out there.”

Yuusaku didn’t argue. He honestly liked seeing Ai move around. He was far too graceful, every movement flawless, and he darned well knew it.

Ai skated back out to the center of the lake and spun slowly. That led into slow, long loops, and a few jumps. Nothing he did was any sort of formal professional work and technically it was all disconnected pieces. But the way that Ai flowed from one action to another and made it look effortless – Yuusaku wished he’d thought to record it so he could enjoy the sight again later. He’d probably have to make sure that none of the local security cameras recorded this. Perhaps he could save it from that.

He wasn’t the only one appreciating what Ai did. Everyone else at the pond stared in shock and awe, and when Ai finally came to a rest, finally skating right back to where Yuusaku waited, enthusiastic clapping rose upward. A few people cheered and one or two seemed to want his autograph.

Ai waved one hand gleefully to everyone. He’d changed out of his usual vampire ringmaster outfit to something much more neutral – ordinary pants and a thick sweater in the same dark shade of his hair – and if someone missed his odd pupils, he looked much like any other human. Yuusaku liked that. Ai needed whatever anonymity he could have – which was, of course, why he kept on doing things that made people stare at him.

As much as he tried, Yuusaku thought there would always be parts of Ai that he never understood. But one thing he did grasp very well was how much he enjoyed it as Ai brought him to his feet, slipped his arms around him softly, and brought their lips together.

To Be Continued

Notes: Tomorrow is the final chapter. Technically Hugsaku Week is over but I have a personal prompt I will be using for chapter 6, since I skipped the crossover prompt.

[kitsune-translates]

SCI 谜案集 [English Translation] Case 1: Number Killer

Previous

Number Killer 14 Li Feifan

It wasn’t long before the police cars arrived in front of University C’s psychology departmental building, Gongsun and the rest of the team hurries out of the car. The police line is quickly set up around the body and the campus security is breaking up the crowd of students. The crime scene has been contained in an orderly fashion, but the entire university is still in an uproar.

A perfect student like Li Feifan falls to his death from the rooftop in broad daylight would certainly make the university at least partially responsible. Furthermore the police classifying the case as murder has unsettled the entire university.

The university officials have ordered a one-day suspension of classes to corporate with police work.

The members of S.C.I. has divided themselves in group to get to work. Wang Chao is taking samples with some techs on the rooftop; Zhang Long and Xu Qing are interviewing Li Feifan’s classmate; Ma Han is making a trip to Li Feifan’s dorm room; Gongsun and Zhao Hu are doing the onsite autopsy and eyewitness interviews.

Bai Yutang pulls Zhan Zhao aside into the S.C.I. fieldwork van; two of them sits down facing each other.

“What do you want?” Zhan Zhao looks at Bai Yutang who is wearing a serious expression opposite him.

“Feeling better?”

“I’m fine.” Zhan Zhao mumbles, turning his face away.

“So, what’s your relationship with Li Feifan?” Bai Yutang asks jokingly.

“What are you trying to say?” Zhan Zhao jumps up immediately.

“Can you not get ruffled so easily?” Bai Yutang pulls Zhan Zhao down back to his seat quickly, “What I meant was how much do you know about him? Anything about him of note? Have he said anything special to you?”

Zhan Zhao frowns in concentration and recalls, “Nothing particularly noteworthy. All I know is that he is a really good student. He would come to every single one of my lectures and he ask me questions quite frequently.”

“What kind of questions?”

“Just academic stuff, nothing special.”

“Then do you know when this photo was taken?” Bai Yutang asks, holding up the photo.

Zhan Zhao shakes his head in distress, “I can’t recall at all.”

“1, 3, 5. These numbers?”

Zhan Zhao sighs, “I don’t know”

Bai Yutang sighs as well, “I mean cat, this guy jumps off the building holding his phone which has your photo. It sure looks like he killed himself for love.”

Zhan Zhao widens his eyes, “White mouse! Now is not the time for jokes.”

Bai Yutang rubs Zhan Zhao’s brows with his fingers, “I just want you to relax a bit. Don’t be so tense.”

Zhan Zhao rolls his eyes at him after hearing this and leans back against the seat, “I really haven’t got a single clue this time. But I think… he was trying to tell me something.”

didididi…

Bai Yutang’s phone suddenly rings. He picks up, it’s Ma Han.

“Cap, we found some stuff at Li Feifan’s dorm. You gotta have to come see this.”

“What did you find?” Bai Yutang can tell that Ma Han sounded anxious.

“…I can’t explain exactly over the phone. Just come over and take a look. Oh yah, ask Dr Zhan to come too.”

Hanging up, the two of rushes over immediately.

Li Feifan lived in the postgrad residential building on the east campus. Because of his good grade, the school awarded him with the more luxurious studio apartment. The building is new, nicely decorated and well equipped with various facilities. Li Feifan lives on the third floor, first unit on the east wing, room 301.

Stepping into his room, the first thing one would notice is that it is extremely clean. Although there are already several officers collecting evidences in the room, but the polished window, spotless floor, neatly arranged bookshelves makes it seem more like a hotel room rather than a young single male student’s dorm room.

Bai Yutang and Zhan Zhao walks into the bedroom and sees that Ma Han is squatting by the bed. There are a dozen thick photo albums laying on the bed.

Noticing the two’s entrance, Ma Han stands up. In his hand, there’s a fancifully coloured paper box.

“Take a look at these first.” He hands a couple of the photo albums to Bai Yutang and Zhan Zhao.

The two of them open it warily and are immediately dumbfounded. The photo album is filled with photos of Zhan Zhao, every single one of them labelled with date. There are photos for almost every single day. Over a dozen albums, over thousands of photos, some of them go all the way back to a year ago.

Bai Yutang closes the album after flipping through a few pages, he scolds, “Fuck. Psycho.”

It is also pretty alarming for Zhan Zhao, “He… he was stalking me?”

“For a year!” Bai Yutang pats Zhan Zhao on his shoulder, resigned, “Cat, you really are something. Someone has been stalking you for a year and you didn’t notice at all.”

Zhan Zhao glares at him. Ma Han at the side grins, “It’s not that unusual. All of these photos are taken from extremely far away, normal people would never have noticed.”

“Oh? How do you know this?” Bai Yutang asks in interest.

Ma Han scratches his head, “When I was with the Flying Tiger Troops (1), I had trainings in this area. Look at these photos, the foreground in some of the photos are blur, this means that they are shot using a high zoom camera.” He pulls out a few photos to shows Bai Yutang and Zhan Zhao, “He is at least a hundred meter away. But what I found stranger is that this guy used the placement for sniping.”

“Sniping placement?”

“Because the distance is so far, normally if a person wants to take photos, they wouldn’t change the angle of shoot much, they would just take whatever that is in the view. However, if one were to snipe, he would need to move around to find the best position for sniping.” He points at his head, “here” and at his heart, “here.”

Zhan Zhao and Bai Yutang give a closer look at the photos and are astounded to realise, indeed on every photo, there is at least one suitable shot placement.

Bai Yutang asks Ma Han, unsettled, “He was professionally trained?”

Ma Han nods, “He didn’t take these photos for sniping purposes, but once you have grown into a habit, it’s hard to get rid of. I am sure he is not an amateur!”

“Good work!” Bai Yutang slaps Ma Han’s shoulder in appreciation, “This is a good lead. You are the expert, do follow up on this.”

“Yes!” Ma Han answers almost shyly. He opens the box he was holding and hands it over, “And these!”

Zhan and Bai leans in to get a closer look and realise they are also photos of Zhan Zhao. However, Zhan Zhao is no longer in the center of the photo, because the focus of the camera is on a black Honda.

“This car?” Zhan Zhao looks at Bai Yutang.

Bai Yutang nods, “Yep, it’s that car.” He looks at those photos again thoughtfully, “Cat, I think he was trying to tell you something. He was trying to tell you, you are in danger.”

…!

Zhan Zhao accepts the photos, the car on the photos is circled out in red. It is obvious that the car has come into Li Feifan’s attention when he was stalking Zhan Zhao.

Bai Yutang places the photos back into the box, “Get Jiang Ping to do analysis on the photos when you get back, see if anything useful turns up.”

“No wonder he was staring at you so anxiously.” Bai Yutang shrugs, “I think he was afraid that you are in danger.”

“Why do you think he went to the rooftop alone?” Zhan Zhao turns around suddenly to gaze at Bai Yutang.

…

Bai Yutang falls silent.

Zhan Zhao smiles bitterly, “He died for me.”

Translator’s Footnote:

(1)    The Flying Tiger troops: or Fei Hu Dui is a special duties unit in the HK police force.

Next

[nozomijoestar]

Review of Your Name (君の名は)

This review will contain spoilers so please do not read if you plan on going to see this movie and do not want any part of the experience ruined. 

I have three major gripes with this film that is otherwise excellently sound and worthy of all its praise (as are many Makoto Shinkai works). I’ll address these first then go on to the rest of the movie from sound design, to animation, to voice acting (please note I have only seen the English dub in theaters so this is the only performance I can draw from). I’d like to add that this is one of those films I highly recommend watching in a movie theater. The sense of atmosphere and scale is improved upon by the size of a theater’s capabilities. 

1. The Opening Sequence at the beginning should have been omitted entirely.

Not only was it rather jarring to see an OP in the style of an animated TV show in something like a feature film, it was also a giant guarantee that Mitsuha will survive the events of the comet that originally did kill her. Looking back on that sequence the longer one progresses through the movie, all the excellently mounting and central tension around whether or not Itomori and in turn Mitsuha can be saved is ruined by her adulthood appearance already being shown to the viewer within the first two to three minutes of the first shots. This drags down some of the enjoyability of trying to resolve the main conflict and makes Taki’s actions and the lengths he went to save her and everyone fall rather flat knowing from the get go that he will succeed. See, if this were a clearly not as ambitious title as one of my other favorite series Girls und Panzer- I would be willing to forgive this and enjoy the ride rather than most of the set up. However here in a film that both sells itself and thrives in setting serious, believable tone and atmosphere that is clearly trying to achieve more than placing some great set pieces and decently entertaining characters, I’m going to expect it to try harder to keep us on the edge of our seats and guessing. While this wasn’t a factor that killed the entire movie for me outright, it was definitely a damper and something I’m going to have to detract points from. 

2. Many of the insert songs (not the original composed pieces) were overused as to be annoying and forgettable with the exception of the final credits song

One of the other few things that bugged me constantly throughout the movie and which at times broke my immersion to focus more on that problem than a scene was the music placement. Instead of mostly using appropriate pieces to strengthen a scene (something Shinkai did better in his 2007 film 5 Centimeters Per Second), full length pop like music with matching lyrics was used; its vocals not only detracting from the built emotion scene by scene that was sufficient to stand on its own, but ruining some of that built tone by clashing it’s own different musical tone to instead work against a scene rather than help its impact. Thankfully, all four of these songs themselves at least are not repeated throughout the entirety of the film, but the moments where they are definitely make themselves noticeable. 

3. The explanation for why Mitsuha and Taki switch bodies while nicely implied on several occasions is never believably explained and can feel rather contrived 

This was definitely one of the aspects of the film where the writing team’s frustrations at making one of their key elements feel fleshed out was palpable. The way I understood it, you can take the explanation for why these two are able to take each others place three ways. Three ways that very heavily tie into each other as to feel like each one is supposed to cover the other ones ass if it falls short simply due to how similar in theme they are. Mitsuha and Taki can switch bodies because of the following:

Mitsuha’s family having the closest tie to the god who’s shrine they upkeep, therefore when she wished for a different life the deity indulged her especially accounting for how difficult her life had been and how victimized she was by her classmates

OR

The event of the comet was also tied to the god and divine forces in general, perhaps the work of a god who opposed the shrine god Mitsuha’s family served as the name of the comet Tiamat is the name of a god of primordial destruction in Mesopotamian lore. This god could have sent the meteor to Itomori to destroy it as an act against it’s own god- who then uses the switching of Mitsuha’s body with Taki three years in the future as a way to get someone to prevent Itomori’s destruction through the body of one of its shrine caretakers and also in turn bring fated lovers together (if this was all the case though the god could have simply counterattacked and prevented the meteor from falling outright thus canceling the whole movie though this can be argued against on reasonable grounds that the Itomori god is not strong enough to fight a greater god such as Tiamat as it only controls a town) 

OR

Because Mitsuha’s family is directly responsible for taking care of the town god and have been doing so for countless generations, they have simply been granted the ability to randomly switch bodies with someone they desire to for a limited period of time (likely until either they or the other person die as the link between Taki and Mitsuha is initially severed upon her death in the original timeline) and can pass this ability best if the mother of a child in their family is a Miyamizu (since both Mitsuha’s mother and grandmother have done this at earlier points in their lives), thus Mitsuha is just awakening her ability after wishing desperately to be someone else however it all happened to coincide with the Tiamat Comet though the two aren’t necessarily related

That all being said, again, these three things are only implied at best, and neither lead to a single compelling explanation and instead serve to pull the reasoning in more offshooting and conflicting directions than it helps to create a unifying believable cause (ironic given that one of the central themes of the story is the idea of unity which otherwise is wonderfully done) 

This concludes my main gripes

From here on out I’ll cover the film from a technical perspective

The sound design is excellent, accurate, and properly implemented and does wonders to increase immersion and bring the setting to life. The world feels familiar, vibrant and alive. Every train grinding on the tracks, every text bloop and bleep, every rustle of leaves and doors opening or shutting is as intense as it can be subtle. These audible cues combined with stunning, gorgeous, and masterful visuals combine to form a presentation that absolutely grabs hold of the viewers attention and refuses to let go in a delightful way. You’re in the countryside or in the heart of Tokyo and you stay there, something that also brilliantly highlights the differences and similarities to Taki and Mitsuha’s contrasting environments; while greatly strengthening how they react when thrown into these opposing types of setting. Expert use of various camera angles in addition to these factors further heightens the impact on the senses; doing an amazing job of displaying shifting senses of scale, character emotion, and aiding in location transitioning (such as the ever present shots of doors being opened from a floor level view that not only bring a sense of mystery to each transition in this manner but are aesthetically pleasing and contribute to setting a location’s tone for the following scene taking place in it by adding various degrees of urgency that is applied to how the door is opened). 

Setting is in fact a great segway into characters, as the almost otherworldly portrayal of the world with how crisp it is in addition to the fantastical/supernatural element of the plot serve to make the realistic and grounded characters stand out. The characters themselves, from our two protagonists to the minor players are all believable, carrying familiar human struggles, wants, and needs despite and in response to the impossible things that happen to them. I would actually wholly enjoy a spinoff feature with characters like Teshi and Saya or even Mitsuha’s dad or grandmother in her youth taking center stage after seeing how well they were put together in this film. Taki and Mitsuha’s curiosity and panic upon first switching immediately felt both relatable and entertaining (I’d touch my own dong to make sure it was actually real after suddenly waking up in a stranger’s body the same way I’d touch the titties if I were a man switching suddenly into a girl’s body too- my mom and I had many laughs over this one) They struggled not only with being thrust suddenly into alien environments but also in everything from how to use pronouns, to communicating with their opposite’s friends and family members, to adapting with what was given to them on such short notice (or even taking advantage of it in the way Mitsuha first abuses Taki’s paycheck to eat the sweets she never had at the first real cafe she’d ever seen). Their method of communicating with each other too progresses in a realistic way, going from rushed and sloppy scribbling on each others bodies as memos- to leaving thought out reports on their phones the longer they grow familiar with their situation. It’s this careful and lifelike handling of their back and forth conversations over the slightest action before they’ve even met that makes the bond they eventually form viable and tangible. It expertly builds and mounts the suspense the viewer holds in wanting them to finally meet face to face. And when they finally do, especially after the revelation of being two people at different points in time (something that also eliminates the solution of simply being able to call each other and something they both try to no avail because you can’t call someone three years apart from you) it’s a massive relief and honest joy. The rat race and desperate struggle Taki went through while using his memories as Mitsuha in order to save her; and her eager hope to find and impress the guy who in a way gave her the life she always wanted met head on and bleed through the full weight of their emotions not only for the people and experiences they’d had while switching and for themselves, but also each other. Their gradual friendship then love solidifies itself in the sacrifices and risks they are willing take for each other- having come as a result of making small talk via their reports, doing each other favors via interactions with the other characters who are unique to either of them, and resonating with the resulting thrill being someone else gave them. In switching places, they grew to have each others backs in daily life, which realistically built the trust between them that opens up and evolves into a truly believable and lasting connection between two people who understand each other and genuinely should be together (which is more and beyond what I can say for 99% of any romance or even friendship I’ve ever seen).

As I have only seen the English dub, this is one of the extremely rare dubs I’ve listened to where I feel the dubbed acting was solid, pleasant, and helped convey the character’s personalities and shifting emotions as much as I imagine its native language did. Of note, I believe Stephanie Sheh’s performance as Mitsuha was the best portrayal of her entire career to date that I’ve heard. None of the characters felt wildly off thanks to the charming and professional performances of their respective VAs, again even with the minor characters. 

In conclusion, I overall loved every possible aspect of Makoto Shinkai’s “Your Name”; even with things I found to be flaws. I was absolutely captivated and spellbound the entire time I watched. I didn’t even touch my candy or much of my water after the first seven minutes and onward. The one time I desperately had to pee I felt horrible for having to break away for even a moment out of the theater and away from watching the movie. I literally ran to and from the bathroom to miss as little as possible; and as the movie progressed I would even tap my mom in excitement and cheered for the protagonists in hushed whispers. My mom and I initially went in thinking we were going to get something akin to an anime version of Freaky Friday based on the plot premise. We were not only thoroughly shocked and impressed, but my mom considers it to be one of her favorite all time movies now- and for damn good reason.

“Your Name” gets a must watch recommendation from me. You’d be doing yourself a disservice not to see it just once even if you walk away not liking or falling in love with it. Especially given how accessible it currently is in US theaters, go see it before it completes its Stateside run!

[listeningpostnola-blog]

July’s Survey Results

In 2016, there were more drug related deaths than murders in New Orleans. Mostly due to opioids. Mayor Landrieu says he has a plan to deal with the growing national opioid epidemic.

1. What evidence of the opioid epidemic have you seen? How has it impacted you?

Have seen used syringes on the ground, in my neighborhood & last week, a man was seemingly unconscious, on my front steps, w his eyes glazed over & wasn’t…

TV, but I think the true extent is not accurately reported in local media.

Only heard of kids dying for r no reason

No impact.

Mayor =\= national. Mitch needs to focus on safety in the City before he starts tackling national issues.

No

None fortunately

Not personally yet, but I know it's here. I used to think drug addiction was fueled by despair, but now the chemistry of these new opioids it's frightening. Just a few days even if it's a legitimate need (meaning Rx) you're body is hooked. And it's just too easy, the pills too available.

Doctor I worked with just got arrested w 6000 pain pills and a gun!

I have not personally been impacted. Thank God!!

I used to have an addiction treatment center as a client so I am aware of the opioid crisis but I haven’t been personally affected. I don’t have any friends or family members who have been addicted.

Have family and friends who've both had issues.

I've seen a guy on my street corner a few times strung out, laying like a zombie in the sun. I haven't been directly impacted, but after reading this article, I feel like it's just a matter of time. http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/06/05/the-addicts-next-door

My brother was an opioid addict. Question: why didn't everyone show same concern during crack epidemic as they do for opioids? Eg federally funded treatments and "listening tours"? Oh right because crack was in black communities and opioids in white communities. Got it.

Friends of mine who work in the service industry in the quarter say opioid use is rampant among their peers. A high school classmate of mine recently died from an overdose. She was 27, engaged and had just finally gotten her degree a week or two prior. That's the scariest part to me- opioids killing relatively functional people who'd only think of themselves as recreational users rather than addicts.

I'm a prosecutor in a city court in a small town on the MS coast. 20 folks who have been in Court for various minor charges related to their addiction, ie. shoplifting, RX forgery, etc have died in the past 2 years. It's tragic what the corporate distributors of these drugs - including doctors - have allowed to go on in the name of profits. No conscience. It makes one despair.

I haven't seen any direct evidence, but I think that perhaps the uptick in broad daylight robberies in areas where there is the likelihood that the act will be taped by numerous cameras may be linked to addicts desperate for money.

The opioid epidemic is a result of the HMOs such a signal and what have you that said all these kids need to be on ritalin or Adderall Concerta whatever because they have ADHD so bad and me personally I was put on Ritalin when I was 5 and I've been on it ever since and my body my brain cannot produce serotonin on its own because of dr. Walker when I was five a Cigna pediatrician my parents I don't blame them they just did with the doctor said I blame doctor on the HMO Cigna the way I got hooked on opioids is because of running out of my usual medication my the Adderall that I have to take to produce serotonin nor dopamine I am a victim of the hmos and of the times because they prescribed it to me when I was five years old a little boy who gets put on Ritalin and the rest of his life gets ruined before it gets started it's not fair that I have to take these medications to live a normal life and it isn't fair to be treated this way nor is it fair to penalize and scrutinize me for being a quote-unquote addict because of someone's thought they could make good money off of my generation and keep them on drugs the rest of their lives why do these are dangerous drugs and I hope there's another 9/11 the government needs to go I know there's a heaven and there's a hell cuz this is just a holding pen this Earth and I believe the United States government is the evil empire because they let it go on death and hatred to the United States government and anyone who works for it

One of my best friends died from an overdose last April. A couple others have danced with Mr. Brownstone and lived to tell the tale, but only with family support.

As a practicing pharmacist, I have filled opioid prescriptions for questionable "patients."

I've seen clients and friends die

Percocet. Molly Percocet.

4 people I know have had drug and alcohol related deaths in the past decade. Once they wade into the deep end, it's too late.

I keep hearing about a heroine epidemic.

None not at all

No

2. What would you do if someone you knew was addicted to opioids, like heroin or oxycodone?

I would recommend treatment/rehab.

I would do what my friend's grandfather did and take them to our camp in Manchac and work them until drugs were you of their system.

I would try to get them to go to a treatment facility. The problem is there are not enough and Trump's plan cuts funding to DHHS. So no help in site. Also trump cuts funding for the nurse workforce act. He is the first person to do this in over 50 years.

Try to get them help.

I'd recommend help

Get them into treatment. With the potency and availability of these drugs I don't know if people can do it alone.

Honestly don't know

Probably insist they go to rehab or if they were not able to care for themselves anymore take the legal steps to have them committed to a hospital

I would try to get them to get help at an addiction treatment center or from a doctor who specializes in treating addiction.

Help find them medical help!

I'm not sure. I feel like I'd try to get them into treatment ASAP. But that can be costly

My brother was addicted. We put him in rehab. He’s still on the suboxone (prescription meds, like methodone)

I'd insist they get treatment and do everything I could to be supportive

Get them into treatment - but the prognosis for these folks is bleak. Treatment for this addiction has a huge failure rate - 80-90 percent.

Might try to get them help but every situation like this I know of eventually fails the addict. Cynically, I think it's almost impossible to solve.

Accept them for who they are and embrace them for who they are because it's not all of always our fault when we're children were told to take these medications and we took them and now look where we are I hope there's another 9/11 only this time I need Donald Trump and the rest of its his cabinet to Parish with him. Point in case being you don't ostracize somebody because they have to be an addict because they got put on Ritalin when they were only five 5 years old I was a little boy and my parents still scrutinizing ostracize me but it's they let it happen and it's not fair to be labeled like that and expected to be sober after 27 years of being prescribed ritalin and adderall and everything in between for my whole life. I like to accept responsibility for my actions but honest to God when one's brain can produce serotonin or dopamine on its own and I have to resort to something like that I should be living off of a settlement Sic semper tyrannis death and hatred to the United States government death and hatred to the New Orleans Police Department. they're a bunch of corrupt f****** pigs as it is the only good cop is a dead one who would ostracize and arrest me and have me put in prison for being an addict because the circumstances were went beyond my control from as being a little boy five years old and was put on good one and I've been on it ever since

Talk to them about getting clean. I also couldn't trust them until they were clean.

Refer to qualified help.

Advise rehab or NA...but really, I don't believe there is anything others can do. Pray if your religious...cross fingers if you’re superstitious.

Get them far, far away in rehab.

Stay away from them

3. What strategies do you think would help communities better deal with drug epidemics?

Greater funding for treatment programs, & rehab facilities.

Acknowledgement

Illogical and discompassionate

Diversion programs for users--not just for opioids. Users of Crack cocaine and other addictive illegal drugs should be treated with compassion.

Work with the docs to stop prescribing so many pills. And then get community groups to organize and educate ourselves on the signs of addiction. And lobby for treatment programs. Not sure if churches could provide treatment like they used to provide adult day care. And clean needle exchange and I think it's Narcan in the first responders supplies.

Treatment

More mental health facilities and clinics where they could safely turn themselves in.

The biggest problem right now is that addiction doctors and professionals don’t agree on the causes or treatments of addiction. That being said, there has to be access to affordable treatment and care. This means addiction treatment has to be covered by insurance (and Medicaid) with little or no out of pocket cost. Drugs like Buprenorphine or Naltrexone need to be readily available and affordable as well.

More free medical clinics that have strong proven strategies for helping with addiction.

JOBS! And good housing. When people aren't idle, and feeling thrown away, most of them can move in a positive direction

Treat drugs— all drugs, not just those that white people use— as public health issue not a criminal one

Better mental health services, more outpatient rehab and support services for people who don't have access to expensive residential treatment facilities, accessible awareness and prevention programs for at risk populations, more rehabilitative group homes with employment opportunities.

To be honest - not much a community can do. 35 years prosecuting drug offenses has accomplished NOTHING. Look at what was going on by the DEA - agents were dealing; drugs are sold in jails and prisons. If someone has a good idea of what to do I'd like to hear it myself.

Legalization has worked in other countries. I believe Portugal for one. Instead of forcing addicts to buy and use stuff that can be laced with deadly additives, they could get their safe fix and also not have to rob and steal.

For the government the pharmaceutical lobbyists they take responsibility for what they did and accept us addicts for Who We Are because it isn't fair the circumstances were Beyond My Control I was only 5 and my parents should be held accountable for their ignorance

Education for the kids, methodone clinics and needle disposal clinics for the junkies.

Continue with current efforts, such as the prescription monitoring program, link PMP among more states, and take action against providers who use their credentials to sell unwarranted prescriptions for narcotics.

Stop the drugs from getting to people. Legalize marijuana and let people get high more safely.

Create the dangers of the awareness.

[nofomoartworld]

Hyperallergic: Twelve Reasons Why the Chainsmokers Are Failing at Love

As the most infamous and possibly the most successful new group in America, the Chainsmokers offer a clear lesson in how white men can remain relevant in an increasingly diversified pop landscape: through self-erasure. The EDM duo’s chart hits throughout 2016, leading up to “Closer,” the monster earworm that spent most of last fall atop the Billboard Hot 100, epitomized a widespread practice in which often male DJs hire often female singers to lend their tracks content and charisma. Tracks such as “Rozes,” “Don’t Let Me Down,” and “All We Know” inhabit an established corporate style sufficiently, slickly, and anonymously. The electronic surface is so smooth that the perky plaints of singers like Daya and Phoebe Ryan disappear right into it. Adherence to the broadest of EDM pop conventions functions less as selling point than admittance badge; pretty polish, aching melodies, drops that sway rather than crunch — voila, songs perfect for filling dead space on the radio, even if they suggest only a generalized style without approaching a particular one. Such is the appeal of the blank slate. As for “Closer” itself, its chart success appears to have convinced the Chainsmokers, at heart studious entrepreneurs on the lookout for statistical affirmation, that they’d found the paradigm for their subsequent career. Their full-length debut, Memories… Do Not Open, out since April, lives in the shadow of their greatest hit.

As public figures, the Chainsmokers fascinate in their odd disparity between art and persona. Andrew Taggart (the cute one) and Alex Pall (the smart one) give interviews to Billboard and Rolling Stone where they strike various absurd poses for the camera, including one marvelous shot in Billboard in which they stand waist-deep in a pool in their t-shirts and jeans, holding glasses of beer while spouting quasi-parodic approximations of so-called locker room talk that I won’t quote here, so as not to upset delicate sensibilities. They present themselves as pop radio’s very own “tech bros,” as Billboard’s Chris Martins puts it, covertly sincere young men who party hard and spend too much money on luxury goods while working obsessively to refine their business model.

But their hits, unobtrusive as dance songs and nebulous as love songs, could have been generated by any artist, or algorithm, with any persona, in any state of mind; what they lack, at the very least, is a spirit of enjoyment that one expects from nominal party animals. Sleek nullities like “Rozes” and “Don’t Let Me Down” exist in a referent-free vacuum: bland genericism can’t be reliably traced back to the lab that engineered it. Perhaps one might look for fingerprints in the reflection of the synthesizer polish, but these songs are purposefully anonymous — the sung chorus’s subservience to the instrumental drop decentralizes the singer, while midtempo caution and mildly glowing synth textures decentralize the drop. As for the elusive, centered subject — the Chainsmokers themselves — they’re gone, their presence hardly evident in the songs at hand. Even when Taggart takes the mic, he’s such a nothing singer that he fails to evince even the slightest hint of personality. They’ve established a brand through public relations; their music needn’t follow suit.

Their breakthrough hit, which is also their only fabulous song, 2014’s “#Selfie,” stands as an anomaly in their catalog for its energetically abrasive beat and spoken vocals. Over spritzy, crunchy, percussive synthesizer bounce, a delightfully narcissistic young woman played by Alexis Killacam recites a monologue consisting of exaggerated stereotypes meant to indicate the shallowness of clubgoers, California girls, or both: “After we go to the bathroom, can we go smoke a cigarette? I really need one. But first, let me take a selfie.” Whatever their intentions (who cares?), and however immature and/or sexist the song may be, it reads as a love letter — adolescent boys mocking adolescent girls to mask jealousy and admiration. Behold Frank Zappa’s clumsily cruel “Valley Girl” done with love. However tiresome her bubbly cadence, the details of her life do sound like fun: dancing in the club, drinking with friends, and eventually going home with her crush. The song projects not scorn but rather an amusing defense of clubgoers, dance music, and a species of shallowness that may also be a species of fun. At the time, the song was misread as merely contemptuous of its subject and dismissed as a novelty single by critics who didn’t understand that such a categorization needn’t amount to dismissal. Then the Chainsmokers stuck around, longer than most artists behind so-called novelty singles. Their subsequent series of increasingly dull hits, exercises in crafted electronica whose glistening keyboard whooshes and muted hooks ostensibly stand in for eroticism (in “Rozes” especially), functioned as a solemn corrective to the frivolity of “#Selfie.” Then came “Closer”, Andrew Taggart’s first time as a singer in a duet alongside guest star Halsey, and their career trajectory, along with modern romance itself, was forever changed.

The dirty little secret behind “Closer” is that the insufferable ex Taggart can’t help repeatedly crawling back to symbolizes hookup culture itself. Don’t believe the literal reading that the song concerns two people. Taggart, whose mild croak renders him an everyman figure, and Halsey, whose fuller, more enthusiastic cry tastes like liquid sugar by comparison, meet in a hotel bar and rekindle the flame of days past, while a feelgood keyboard hook occupying the drop position sets a defiantly celebratory tone. The repeated proclamation “We ain’t ever getting older” might have been a slogan of fist-pumping triumph, but there’s a melancholy to it, for to never get older means to never mature, which means to never find your one true love and settle down. A whole generation of young people’s anxieties about intimacy, casual sex, and commitment informs “Closer,” to the extent that it fails to parse if Taggart and Halsey are viewed as individuals: the song’s hysteria exists on a scale too grand for one couple. Rather, “Closer” concerns an endless hookup cycle that doesn’t satisfy but keeps beckoning because breaking the cycle is hard and the alternative, prolonged intimacy, is scary. The pretty hook offers nominal catharsis, but it’s bittersweet; to pump one’s fist during the drop in “Closer” is to acknowledge one’s erotic life as frustrating, impersonal, scripted, and insufficient. If the platitude about millennials participating in casual sex while secretly hating it holds any truth, then Taggart and Halsey are its avatars, standing in for whole generational attitudes; as singers they scream past each other and fail to connect, doomed to fuck a repetitively steady stream of anonymous ciphers for the rest of eternity.

Likewise, Memories… Do Not Open articulates the romantic anxieties that supposedly plague affluent, heterosexual millennials, and perhaps fratboys most of all. “Break Up Every Night,” in which Taggart “don’t wanna wait until she finally decides to feel it” so he “build[s] the bridges up again,” sums up an album whose midtempo electroballads affirm every idiotic cliché about young people, technology, social media, narcissism, casual substance use, casual sex, and the collapse of traditional dating — it’s as if Andrew Taggart and Alex Pall have read every incoherent thinkpiece on the internet about their own generation and internalized said thinkpieces in a weird ritual of guilt and self-hate. Imagine one of those plaintive and/or smug Odyssey listicles explaining Twelve Reasons Why Millennials are Failing at Love, translated into its album equivalent. Look, I’ll write that listicle now:

1. We’re scared to settle down (“The One”).

2. We’re individualistic and goal-driven, at the expense of our partners’ needs (“Break Up Every Night”).

3. We party too much and do too many drugs (“Bloodstream”).

4. Wealth and access to technology makes many of us egocentric, and that means we’re insensitive toward our partners and their needs (“Don’t Say”).

5. We hold out for too long, because we grew up watching Disney and superhero movies and have unrealistic expectations (“Something Just Like This”).

6. We’re scared to define our relationships past the casual stage (“My Type”).

7. Sex with strangers becomes routinized (“It Won’t Kill Ya”).

8. We care about our image on social media more than we care about real relationships (“Paris”).

9. We can’t commit to one person (“Honest”).

10. We’re materialistic and brand-conscious (“Wake Up Alone”).

11. We make excuses to avoid dealing with our feelings (“Young”).

12. We have a horrible weakness for triumphalist sentimentality and EDM power ballads that diagnose our perceived generational maladies (“Last Day Alive,” also the whole record).

Whether or not these spurious criticisms apply — to individuals? to a whole generation? meaning whom? maybe just the Chainsmokers? or their fans? — they make for a tedious, self-defeating album, dotted with songs that keep fussing over their own failure to have a good time. “Break Up Every Night” spirals around glowing, percussive synth stabs with winning energy, while “It Won’t Kill Ya” sways alluringly over cautious piano chords during the verses and woozy airhorn during the drop, but mostly even the upbeat songs go through the motions on autopilot. Perhaps juicier beats would do the trick, but the Chainsmokers’ brand of EDM softcore, lightweight keyboard yearning in processed pastel shades, produces drab ear candy with sickly clumps of sugar inappropriately concentrated in single spots. Strummed guitars and plucked pianos are integrated smoothly and hardly make a difference. Nor, paradoxically, does the thematic focus relieve their anonymity. Working squarely within the guidelines of current radio convention and consequently confining themselves within a tighter box than is actually necessary to achieve airplay, these are punishingly generic songs, perhaps because speaking for a whole generation involves the widening and hence blurring of one’s scope. Taggart’s eagerly clumsy drawl and Emily Warren’s smoky croon suggest roles too composite to reveal any character of their own; Coldplay’s Chris Martin on “Something Just Like This,” while intolerably sincere in much the same way, at least sounds like himself. To further dilute the record, they don’t even include “Closer,” leaving the hookless “Paris” and the honorably, expediently soaring “Something Just Like This” to remind listeners that yes, indeed, they are a frequent radio presence.

Memories… Do Not Open would be an object lesson in the perils of universality and the blank slate, if it hadn’t topped the Billboard 200. Positive market feedback ensures the production of more music like this in the future. Taggart and Pall hold up a distorted mirror to their audience, showing fans the ugliest versions of themselves. I wish American consumers didn’t identify, as they say.

Memories…Do Not Open (2017) and Closer (2016) are available from Amazon and other online retailers.

The post Twelve Reasons Why the Chainsmokers Are Failing at Love appeared first on Hyperallergic.

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