#and i get no reprieve. theres no rest. no break.

[lavender---sunshine]

💖 Had my first car cry today besties 💖

[roses-for-rosalyn]

Try Me

Dealer! Ellie blurb 💅

This was just in my head and I couldn't get it out. It's the first fic I have ever posted so be nice please! Obviously about tlou2 Ellie. Sort of a one shot sort of not.

part 2

not proof read!!

word count: 1.4k

Minors DNI 🔞 pls!

warnings: no use of y/n, drug!use 🍃, dealer!ellie, fem! reader, pet names, dom! ellie sort of, modern au, a lot of swearing (duh), mentions of toys!, no smut (yet hehe)

┕━━━━━━━━━━━✿━━━━━━━━

Here you are again in front of the rust colored door you know all too well. Theres paint chipping in various places and three gold numbers reading "400". The numbers are tarnished with age and you stare at them while you think over the decisions that brought you here.

You are at your dealer's apartment, Ellie's apartment, not the usual meeting place for you to get your fix but god you were desperate. It had been a rough week for reasons you would absolutely not like to dwell on and you needed a sort of reprieve. On any other day you could have waited for Ellie to come to you. She usually drives over to your apartment and hands the prerolls off to you, but you were anxious and she said she wouldn't be able to drop it off until way later, unless you came to her. So here you are, probably for the third or fourth time this month. After you take a moment to reflect on your sad desperation you knock. Once, Twice.

The Door opens slowly to reveal Ellie in her usual battered skinny jeans, tank top, and flannel. You are confused as to why she has so much clothing on because it was hot as all hell. She must have a circulation problem or something if she can wear all of that in this heat. You’re in a pair of flannel pajama shorts and a t-shirt and even you’re sweating a little. Well, it could be nerves.

“Hi” you finally sqeak out.

“Hey” she replies looking you up and down. No doubt judging your rumpled state.

Ellie intimidates the shit out of you. She’s incredibly attractive and she can be very flirty which tends to catch you off guard. You usually just brush it off with a laugh and then lay awake at night wondering if she really meant it. You’re 90% sure she is messing with you because why would someone as beautiful as Ellie want anything to do with you. Like be for real.

Ellie breaks your train of thought.

“You just gonna stand there staring at me, or are you gonna come in?” You let out an awkward laugh and respond “yea sorry. Long day.”

“Me too. ’m fucking exhausted.” This surprises you a little and you wonder why she even acknowledged your text if that was the case. She could have told you tomorrow or even next week and you would have understood. It’s happened before.

She walks deeper into the apartment and you follow her in through a small hallway. There’s a kitchenette on the left with a fluorescent light over the sink and a small living space with an ancient couch and a TV. There’s a few lamps scattered around casting a soft warm light in the apartment. On the right is a doorway leading to what you would guess is her bedroom, though you’re not absolutely sure you’ve never been through there. Ellie walks through said doorway and disappears.

After you process your surroundings you realize why Ellie was wearing long sleeves and long pants: It was cold as fuck. Apparently Ellie likes living inside a fucking refrigerator. Jesus. You cross your arms in front of your chest and shiver a little. You picture the rest of your night: getting home, smoking, and using your vibrator until you fall asleep.

Ellie walks out of the room with a little ziploc bag of prerolls and stops just a little too far away. She hands the bag out to you so you have to walk towards her to try and grab it. She pulls it away and you look at her with what must be a confused look.

“If you stay here and smoke one of these with me I’ll give the rest to you for free” she says with a wicked smile.

“Sounds like a solid deal to me.” You smile back. You two weren’t really what you would consider friends, but you were friendly enough. You had watched movies and smoked with her in the past. She was nice to you, sometimes gave you free weed, and as an added bonus she was hot. You could use her company anyways.

“Beats doing the same thing at home alone I guess.” You add.

“You guess?”

“I mean yea..” you respond, wary of your word choice.

“I’m a fucking pleasure to be around of course you would rather be around me. Plus you’re pretty fun to play with. I like making you flustered.”

You make a sound that sort of resembles an “mhm” but it comes out so high pitched it’s almost a whine.

Ellie’s laughs “see what I mean.” she pauses, studying you intensely, you almost have to look away before she says “come on let’s watch a movie or something.”

You make your way over to the couch following Ellie's lead. When you sit down you immediately sink into the couch. The thing has to be at least 30 years old, but it was so comfortable. You turn to look at Ellie and she’s sitting with her legs open, her body leaned over with her elbows resting on her thighs. She grabs the joint from the coffee table and you watch her light up the joint and take the first hit. You watch the smoke escape from her lips and almost sigh.

"Aww you gonna make sure that shit isn't laced? just for me?" you say semi-jokingly. Although it's happened to you before (obviously not supplied by Ellie). Not fun.

"anything for you princess." she shoots back. Your cheeks grow pink at the nickname and you pray she can't tell in this dim lighting. Your eyes wander down to her bicep watching the muscles flex as she puts the joint to her lips. Shit you were staring, you quickly switch your gaze to study the small coffee table. There's a few empty soda cans and a half eaten bag of chips. You wonder if she had already smoked a little before this. Ellie hands you the preroll and you take a hit. You inhale deeply trying to get as much into your lungs as possible.

As you exhale you ask "You invite all your customers to smoke with you?" You've been curious for a while now because it seemed like a peculiar gesture for a dealer.

"Only the pretty ones." She looks at you with a smirk. You have no idea how to respond so you let out a sort of huff that was meant to be a laugh.

Ellie turns on some animated movie for entertainment. As you pass the joint back and fourth you feel the effects start to kick in. An unexplained smile tugs at your lips and a calmness makes it's way through your whole body.

You're not sure how much time has gone by, but you have both managed to finish the first joint. You look over at Ellie watching the glow of the TV bounce off her features. You trace your eyes down her face and stop for a moment at her lips and then down to her neck. You observe the way her thighs are spread open.

Nope. Nope, nope. Shit. You have to cross your legs as thoughts of Ellie invade your mind. Whatever you smoked had you wayy hornier than usual. It's fine you just need to make your way back home.

"I should make my way back home." you blurt out. Ellie looks at you confused.

"We literally just finished off the preroll and you already want to leave me?" she asks with a joking tone. "In all seriousness you are way to high to leave right now. Can you wait like 45 minutes for me pretty girl? That way I can get you home safe myself." Oh god another nickname.

"I think I can make my way back trust me. I know the way back home so well I'd have to be on a lot more drugs to forget." You insist. You would like nothing more right now than to go home and make yourself cum with your vibrator until you fall asleep.

"Is there something you need princess? I can probably get it for you here."

"I really don't think you can get me what I need." you are desperately trying to get her to let you leave. Why does she care about your well being so much?

"try me." she challenges.

You attempt to take a moment to try and think about your options here, but thinking is futile in your state of mind.

"I am extraordinarily horny and I would like to go home and remedy that with my vibrator." You admit, hoping it freaks her out enough to let you leave.

Ellie smirks and looks you directly in the eyes before saying:

"I can definitely help you with that here."

[cloun-heaven]

So, I have a quick question. Since purples are usually attracted to low bloods, how do they handle their passing? Do they move onto another matespirt or are they like monogamous in a weird way?

I wouldn't say purples are particularly attracted to lowbloods, in fact I see mine going for each other mostly. The reason being; chucklevoodoos.

You could argue they would go for gold bloods then, but I see chucklevoodoos and psiionics different. Psiionics are power over body, energy. Chucklevoodoos, for both outside and internal cases, are mind bending. They could potentially hurt anyone around them and even themselves. This is also why I see purples finding quads later in life.

Purple blood grubs/younglings don't have a handle on their chucklevoodoos. The adults are gone, so family can't schoolfeed them on what it is. Most lusii know what they're getting into with purples, but just barely, no one but purples know the true extent of chucklevoodoos. Lusii are only animals too, they can sooth for as long as they can, but every purple breaks on Alternia at least once. This is why GHB is allowed to talk to them within the church (wether hes given himself allowance or was admitted with it is still a good question.)

Purple younglings could hurt themselves and their quadrants, it makes them harder yet also easier to admit into the family's ship. Harder to help them if they never found any older family to help them, easy because who wants to mess with an unstable purple besides family?

Purples care more than you think too, they're generous and thoughtful, but they have to be smart and hide this all behind their face paint and their chill or goofy attitudes. They have to be careful with their strength, their powers, their emotions. It takes a lot to just be a purple blood. Like you dont even fuckin know dude.

Makes you wonder why they're not all over the place and crazy though, right? They have hope of better days. From personal experience, hope for better days after abuse or having to deal with a mentally unstable mind can keep a mind somewhat sane. To have others there that understand what you're going through can help you tenfold.

Which is why purples go for each other, there's no psiionic that's going to understand what a purple means when they scream at you to get away or start shrieking in their sleep.

Chucklevoodoos sometimes feel like a claw from one of these around your brain.

Its hurts and theres no reprieve until it decides to stop messing with you. Purples can also sooth this pain with their chucklevoodoos too, they can share the pain or put their partner to sleep. This comes with familial trust.

Purples chucklevoodoos and quadrants might also depend on their power level.

Theres seven I have right now, but the seventh is almost unheard of with the exception of two cases.

No Chucklevoodoos.

Believe it or not, there have been some clowns born without chucklevoodoos, it's not seen as bad at all either. They are welcomed just like family, they just have to watch out for some that do have chucklevoodoos, you'll find these trolls with quadrants outside of the family all the way or just one family member in a quadrant and the rest other blood colors.

Temperament Chucklevoodoos

These chucklevoodoos aren't really anything special, they have no telltale sign of being there. Theyre often mistaken for those who don't have chucklevoodoos as well, but they are there. They're more though of as a sixth sense, take Spidermans spidey sense and combine it with intuition or future vision and there you have Temperament Chucklevoodoos. They can tell what a troll is feeling by just being near them, they can't read minds but seemingly know what to say.

They're not slick with themselves, though thier powers could be used for being sneaky manipulative little shits. They feel more than most trolls, they are seemingly human almost. Emotion wise. They care more because they feel how you feel, if you're sad while they're sad it just goes the extra mile.

Priests and Priestess' Chucklevoodoos

These are a very special bunch, they could also fit in with the Wishful but there's one main difference. While both Wishful and Priests/ess' can commune with the dead, Priests and Priestess' commune with the faithful dead. The lost souls of theur brothers and sisters, they get information out of them to help on missions. To help them rest. They're regarded highly.

Wishful Chucklevoodoos

These are the ones who commune with the dead. They can hear any voices, ser any spirits. These have usually been perceived as heartless trolls, they keep straight faces when in danger or keep their eyes open in their sleep. They're creepy, but what they do makes them respectable. These clowns are usually around trials, though not a single soul knows why they would want to be around such events. All trials, usually being held by seadwellers, end in death. If they don't then the Wishful are equally as pleased.

They stand by trials to hear what the dead have to say. Usually most are apart of rebellions or have done no wrong at all. Some rebellion esque trolls were drug into it, for that the Wishful can forgive. Wishful see all sides of every story, who cares if they're dead- they know more than anyone. Which makes them seem creepy. They deal with a lot of information though. They could be categorized as disciples for most keep books on the information they've heard. Especially the young ones. But not every Wishful keeps books or diaries so it isn't a pinpoint.

Mentality Chucklevoodoo

These are your average Subjuggulators, they can use chucklevoodoos to their full extent and usually torture the unfaithful or rebellious trolls to get information before they're sent to trials. They're usuallu feared and hold the 'brawn' category up all on their own.

They have a difficult time with their quadrants and themselves, but when they master their craft they're almost unstopabble and it's almost like they resume life from where they left off. They have quadrants.

Theres two sides of this though. Some are still unstable and never master their craft. They have to have someone around, usually a moirail, because they can't even deal with themselves.

Think of Chucklevoodoos as a mental disorder here, except this type of disorder could benefit or destroy your mind/life.

Some are better at controlling their chucklevoodoos as well.

These can also control your body, mind, read your mind and connect with their lovers on a deeper level. Only with pemission though.

Chouckle Chucklevoodoos

These chucklevoodoos show up mainly in the Makaras, it seems to be a gene gifted to only them by the gene pool. They can read minds, use your body, change your memories, break you. Kill you. Just if they wanted to. It could be called an elite version of Chucklevoodoos, an olden language of sorts. When they master their craft, let's just say they're Grands for a reason.

Convergence Chucklevoodoos/Psiionics

There are only two known cases ever. One was a gold blood, the other a purple. This kind of chucklevoodoo, it includes psiionics. They can float as psiionics. They can do the same as Choucklevoodoo users.

These two trolls could levitate. They had powerful psiionics, and just as powerful chucklevoodoos. They eventually destroyed themselves though, the purple due to an attack. The purple had been in a fight with a troll and freaked out, the chucklevoodoos sensed its own vessels fear and made them hallucinate until they committed suicide.

The gold was culled along with a ship of seventy bronze, burgundy and olive trolls. They had thought it well enough to hook the gold up, the gold was fearful as well. But it's chucklevoodoos sensed anger and in their death they took all who was on board.

[thegoblinmatriarch]

Its amazing that I am still able to pull off looking like I’m fine. I’m actually so stressed out about everything in the world right now its unreal..

1. Car accident. Now I have anxiety driving because I can see every stupid thing other drivers do in hyper focus. Also I keep having to go back and forth from cinncy to cbus to do shit to get a new car in order (driving my parents awful car rn) which is not a short drive and is down 75 which is a hell hole of construction. 2. We’re temporarily housing our pals Aspen and Shequan (and their cat son Callum) while they get a place in order. Its all fine, just helping them move and get everything sorted. 3. Work. I’ve had a large series of unfortunate events that has made work difficult. Moving, sick as a dog, sciatic nerve pain, then my accident, also almost dying of heat exhaustion (that one was my fault) has made me unreliable. I am finally in the clear and kicked ass all week, but our store is in serious trouble. We keep losing seasoned employees and supervisors and its putting a lot on the rest of us and we’re starting to buckle. 4. Friendships. Stuff has been happening left and right. I’ve been changing and its causing me to look and really think deeply about what I want and who I should be spending time on. While some friendships are being created and some are being strengthened, others are being seen as a burden. It’s rough but I’ve been really trying to focus on people who I love. But also I’m still trying to be a good friend to others. Its caused me to get drug into stuff and have to start being the bad guy. I’ve been trying more and more to stick up for myself and fight back but also trying to make sure I do it when and where it needs to be done. 5. Family. My fam is under a lot of stress. Everyone has been stressed for different reasons and its causing some drama. We’re trying to do our best to deal with things (my car wreck and my sisters recent break up forcing her to move back home), but we’re all stressed and its causing miscommunication. We’re gonna be fine, its just shitty. 6. Health. My sciatic nerve pain is a bigger deal then I let on. I have a lot of issues getting up from laying down or sitting, driving is actually extremely unpleasant, and it makes wearing most pairs of shoes tiresome. Its low on my list because its manageable but it is a cause of some serious stress. 7. General depression and anxiety. This is always present but with trying to change myself and grow and find new things, it makes my fears and self doubt come to the surface. Theres other things but really I just wanted to vent. I’m honestly surprised I haven’t had a nervous breakdown and gone off the deep end. I think I’m just numb? It’s also why I’ve kinda immersed myself in Dream Daddy...Its been a nice reprieve. I also bought some art supplies!