#and i love apple fritter's pattern :]

[what-if-it-was-a-warrior-cat]

i bring 2 kitties for you today!!

Lockwood (black) is my college ESA and has lots of travel experience on planes and trains. His favorite hobbies include going in corners to yell and trying to scare the dog he occasionally lives with

And then Apple Fritter/Ratchet (name depending on who you ask) is the barn cat I work with on a dairy farm. Her main motive is to stop whoever she meets in an attempt to give her more food but if you are patient with her she'll lay down and snuggle before going away to stare at the birds or cows

Lockwood -> Ebonysight

Rank: Warrior

Ebonysight was a former loner, but joined the clan during leaf-bare due to scarcity of food. He used to live around a twoleg hive and receive food from the twolegs living there, along with hunting to fill the rest of his meals. Now he lives among the clan where, while he isn't exactly the most hard-working cat, he's willing to do what he has to in order to feed the clan that took him in. He only ever does what is required of him, patrol-wise. When he does hunt, though, he makes it look easy, and the prey that everyone carries back is almost always prey that he caught. His favorite prey is pigeons! (His favorite food is twoleg wet food, but he'll never admit it)

Apple Fritter/Ratchet -> Pumpkinstalk

Rank: Warrior

Pumpkinstalk, also a former loner, is a calm, yet outgoing, warrior of her clan. She's often the center of attention in conversations, whether intentionally or unintentionally on her part. Either way, she enjoys the attention, and is good at charming other cats into doing small things for her, like swapping prey or doing one of her chores. Her expertise is in hunting ground prey, as she has had plenty of experience hunting mice, squirrels, and the like when she used to live in and around a twoleg barn. Pumpkinstalk states that she would 'rather die' than be caught in the middle of a battle, as fighting other cats definitely isn't her forte. Her favorite prey is squirrels!

[candywife333]

Champagne Confetti

PART 3 of Just Want to See you Like That

This series is based on Jungkook's 3D and is probably going to have close to 6-7 parts, depending on where the storyline takes me. I'm feeling a bit dramatic, so expect a lot of angst. Tumblr is going to be referenced in this fic under a different name, Bumblr (I know, totally goofy name).

Summary: Y/N, an overworked employee at HYBE , only ever posted on Bumblr when she was feeling cornered. It was truly her escape. She didn't really do insta or even twitter. Most people would look at her and think this glass wearing quiet girl would most probably be posting pics of flowers and cute animals. But no, looks could be deceiving. Y/N's posts were far from innocent. In fact , they were borderline risque. She didn't expect anybody but a few horny people to come across these pics; people who would view and compliment in the best case scenario. What she didn't expect was that a certain star would be a regular consumer of her material. A star that technically had no business simping after her like that.

Disclaimer: This work is not representative of the real Jungkook's personality and behavior. It is merely fiction and please treat it as such.

Trigger Warning: voyeurism, exhibitionism, may or may not have dub-con later on

Please don't read the fic if any of these themes are disturbing or offensive to you.

Taglist is open

I couldn't believe how freeing it felt to quit that damn job. I had loved interacting with the kind staff and organizing things; something I was a pro at. However, the constant verbal abuse and condescension I had suffered at the hands of the administration had gone on long enough. Since I don't drink, I grabbed a huge bottle of apple cider from the store and headed back home to pop this bottle open and pour the golden liquid into a glass delicate pink wine goblet I had purchased last month.

I decided to have an apple themed party for myself. So I got home, showered with apple and cinnamon shower gel, put on a vintage flare dress with a pattern of green and red apples littered all over, and sat down with my cider and a decadent apple fritter that had been embellished with a wonderful berry compote.

Just as I popped open the bottle, giggling in glee, kicking my bare feet in the air on my comfy couch, my phone started blowing up. I stared at it frozen, rather confounded at what the reason for this cacophony could be. BANG PD?!!?! What the hell?! I never talked to the man. The only time I had even come across him was when I had accidentally bumped into his plush frame in a hallway. I would exaggerate and say that the tiny bump sent me flailing off onto the ground, but that would be a bit dramatic. I had lost my sense of balance and went crashing into a bucket of dirty cleaning water, clearly a great alternative to my extra imagination.

I was blushing in mortification reminiscing about that incident, as I came back to the present. I picked up my phone and was met with the gravelly steady voice of Bang PD as he drawled out , "Hello Y/N. How are you doing? Hope you are having a great evening". I felt paralyzed in awkwardness as I responded back timidly, "Of course PD-nim. I am doing great. Is there anything I can help you with?"

I heard a heavy sigh on the other end as PD groaned out in what seemed to be exasperation, "I am so sorry for what happened with our admin personnel this morning. My secretary informed about the incident and I am ashamed for her behavior. Please understand that I would never want any of my staff treated that miserably". Feeling shocked at his apology, I squeaked out, " Oh, please don't apologize PD. I know that her actions are not a reflection of HYBE's attitude towards employees. However, I find that my service isn't that valued at HYBE and I think maybe I am not a good fit anymore."

Strangely enough I could hear mumbled cursing on the other end of the phone as PD loudly exclaimed, "Of course you are a perfect fit for HYBE. Don't ever doubt that. I knew from the day I hired you, seeing you in your training period, how meticulous you are with running the maintenance of the place --even though we don't pay you to run management. Your dedication and management skills are invaluable to us. You may think I don't keep an eye on our maintenance staff, but I do. And everyone I have talked to from stylists to artists only have great things to say about you. In essence, what you do for us irreplaceable work".

I sat there on the couch with crumbs and sticky glaze all over my lips, as he continued, "Please come back to your job. But this time we will hire you as one of our administration managers. You are clearly overqualified for the position. Jennifer has been fired so you won't have to deal with her. And your pay will be hiked up to thrice what we used to pay you."

I almost choked on my own spit as I scrambled to tremulously say, "I am pleased to come back Sir. I won't disappoint you". He resumed speaking in a cheery voice, "Wonderful. I expect to see you back tomorrow at 9 AM. Your pay for the month has been wired to you". He hung up as I sat there in a daze before I got up from my seat and whooped loudly in the air yelling in mirth, "Take that you scumbags. Can't fuck with me and my bag". I couldn't wait to go back and show those bitches what I was made of. My luck was on the rise.

-----------------

I skipped into office the next morning, elated at the upgrade in position. Walking inside the cubicle, I saw one of the nicer admin staff. Her name was Stacy Lee. She smiled a wide smile that you could only see in a toothpaste ad as she ran to me excited, "Hello!!! You must be Y/N. It is great to meet you. I've seen how hard you worked to carry the whole building for months on end. It is a pleasure to finally actually get to work with you."

Her warm aura encompassed me as I shook her hand and smiled at her, "I think we will get along just fine". Stacy briefed me in on all the work I was supposed to do. As I slowly finished my tasks throughout the day, mostly responding to phone calls and typing reports, I caught the sight of a certain black haired buff man walking through the doors of the lobby accompanied by Taehyung, the ever kind angel of HYBE. He was one of the nicest people to staff. Never spoke down to them or belittled them. He would even go as far as to thank them for all the tiny tasks they did for him, and invite staff to parties and dinners along with the rest of the members.

I knew him pretty well from a very interesting incident that happened a few months ago. He had been hungover, reeking of alcohol, heading into his private office to clearly mask his situation. He had stumbled into the lobby, knocking over the cleaning supplies that had been placed there in the morning. I had seen him haphazardly stumbling around and happened to grab him by his shoulders, escorting him into his office before he could lose all dignity and make a fool of himself.

I had handed him some coffee, soup from the cafeteria, and 2 ibuprofen pills to quell his hangover. He had started vomiting, so I had held his hair away from his face sticky with sweat, steadying him as he vomited. Wiping his forehead with a wet cloth, I had placed him on the spacious sofa in his office and told him to sleep for a bit. After that ordeal, he had been super kind to me. Sometimes he had followed me around like a little puppy dog as I completed my tasks. When I asked him why (rather startled at this rich idol's devotion), he responded in a jubilant voice , hugging me as he jumped up and down, shrieking with joy, "You are a wonderful person. And I want to be your friend".

I couldn't resist his puppy like dark eyes which stared innocently at me. We became really good friends, meeting each other up for dinner occasionally when he wasn't super busy. As Taehyung walked in, he walked over to me with an ecstatic grin on his face ," How you doing Y/N, my fluffy little cupcake?", as he came around the counter to squeeze me around the waist , engulfing me in his too warm embrace.

I snickered at him, "What's up Tae? You seem rather busy these days?" He flirted back shamelessly, "I'm never too busy for you my buttercup". I cringed internally and groaned , "Don't do this Tae. My heart can't take this level of sugar, I'll get diabetes".

As we were conversing, I felt a dark set of doe eyes piercing my frame, burning holes into my chest. I hadn't really gone over the top with the clothes today; a high waisted black business pant with a lacy pink top that showed just a tiny bit of cleavage. Wonder why the creep was staring. Last time I checked, I hadn't been the one desperately, vulgarly, pounding into any staff in a closet.

As I pondered all this, Tae whined, "Please come outside tonight to celebrate with us. It'll be just the boys, TXT, and our managers". Apparently it was his birthday, and he had been hyping it up beyond measure, trying to convince me to show up for close to a month now. He continued, "Come on Y/N. There will be champagne confetti. I know you don't drink, but you will love the confetti popping into the air. You are such a baby, but I love that about you. I will force you to come if you don't agree. Am not even above threatening you."

I stared at his dead pan expression. I sighed, "Okay Tae, I will join you this once only. You know how awkward I get with new people." He jauntily shook his head up and down, running away screaming, "Hyung, I finally got Y/N to come out of her shell. Get ready to get wasted guys". I scoffed. Tae himself hated drinking. Dude was more likely to consume 10 cupcakes rather than even a shot of soju. I guess both of us would have a sugar high tonight.

Even though Tae left, the black eyed black haired devil hadn't left the room. He seemed oddly stunned, his face contorted onto an "O" shape, his round eyes unblinking, mouth open completely as he stuttered out incredulously, " Are you by chance....cherrybomb123 on Bumblr"?

WTF?!!!! I was panicking internally. How would he know? He couldn't possibly recognize the pale pink lace bra barely peeking out of my top? And if he recognized me, who the hell was he? My brain was screeching out with the answer as I stared at him in shock. I was royally screwed, and not in a good way.

Taglist : @sporadicarcadebanana , @darkuni63, @jessicalynn85, @mint--yoongs, @fortunecookiesworld

[slippinninque]

🍂Jatemme Manning x Blackfemreader🍁

In which Jatemme wants to hear you smile.

Warnings: fluff! Comfort! At work post, may be a few mistakes but I'll edit later!

You walked further into your cubicle, briefly taken aback by the cascades of oranges-reds-whites and browns bursting from your desk.

Monday was hard enough but after such a busy weekend tending to life's measures, you felt as if you had no break away from the grind before you were clocking back in again.

Here is was the last 15 or so days of the month and you haven't done a thing to celebrate....

You fussed to your man a bit but decided that it was best to just trudge through as normal. It sucked that October was the highlight of your year as a child but now that you've grown, business and life just didn't seem to make room for the autumnal wonder.

"That was here since this morning," Ida settled across from you at her own desk, eyes twinkling behind her glasses, "I wonder who's the culprit?"

You laughed a bit at her tease. You knew very well who it was and it was bold for his #1 partner in crime to pretend otherwise.

Your cubicle reminded you of a forgotten autumnal grove. Sparkling vases of dahlias, white and orange roses, purple and deep red pansies.

There were two baskets, one filled with ornate muffins and a wrapped apple fritter that filled the air with their pleasing, sweet scent. A candle that remained unlit and was surrounded by bath salts, bath bombs, and a pair of pumpkin patterned fuzzy socks you were tempted to slip into as soon as possible.

You pulled your chair from your desk and had to catch the thin bag seated there as it nearly toppled from your excitement. Inside was you're favorite wine and a familiar, slim container for another one of your favorite indulgence that you knew better than to pop open then and there.

The more you poked and prodded, the more you found. Handfuls of Hershey kisses, a pack of your favorite fruity gum, apple cider scented lip balm and hand lotions. There were even scented markers accenting the colorful sticky notes that would be perfect for your notes taking.

Your cell rang in your hand and with a quick glance at the clock, you took the call.

"You're entering the Olympic type of skill when it comes to surprising me," You smiled into the receiver as you settled down in your manmade heaven, "I don't even know what to say!"

"Sound like you're smiling, that's all I wanted to hear." Jatemme's voice carried the same tone, "Just wanted to let you know you got lunch coming, so don't get none of them nasty noodles--y'hear?"

Suddenly the day didn't seem so long or unfair as you felt your cheeks warm. "Yes, I hear you..."

"Mhmm. Still smiling. That's what I wanna hear." Jatemme praised softly, "I ain't gonna keep you, go do your thing and I'll see you at lunch. Yeah?"

"Yeah! I'll be waiting for you..."

"I'll be waiting for you too, baby."

Uncaring of the prying eyes, you angled the receiver to your mouth so Jatemme could hear all the kisses you were blowing his way. You only stopped when you hear him laugh and shoo you away from the phone.

"Keep it up and Imma come up there and get those in person, fuck them. They can't keep me out."

"No one said they could but I'll let you go since you're getting riled up."

Finally disconnecting the call, you held your cheeks as you looked around you. Heaven. You felt so loved.

Your cheeks were already starting to ache from how you grinned, looking though the splendor left for you. Others from the office meandered by as if fulfilling tasks but you met many a wandering eye through the petals and stems curling over you.

It felt silly to think of it like that, but it felt like Jatemme was right there with you. Evidence of his care wiped away all the weepy feelings that came with Monday.

Feeling stronger, you pulled up your database and cracked your knuckles. Looking over your treats and picking up a Hershey, you popped the morsel into your mouth and used the foil to block the time on the clock.

You were going to knock out these little hours with no problem at all....

----------

✨Ending notes✨: a little sweet for Monday!💖💕✨ Ive been feeling fluffy lately and I don't think I shower Jatemme any fluff love!🥹 More coming, promise ya that! 💕✨💜✨

💕Tag list💕: @cocochannelmoi @hunnishive @last-lost-one @yasminsqueendom @flydotty

@kindofaintrovert @satoruya @harmshake @miyuhpapayuh @ms-angiealsina

@megamindsecretlair @blowmymbackout @thadelightfulone @mysecertdiaryofableedingheart @sageispunk

[londonderrytea]

I don’t understand the reason for nostalgia.

These things that elicit such incredible feelings inside of me, that I would never be able to share.

This longing. This desire to return. This emptiness I can’t fill, that I didn’t know was being filled.

My one set of grandparents, living in a small house in a small town. The feeling I get thinking of that house.

Scorching hot summers and sizzling blacktop. Every building a little dilapidated, but feeling like they were built that way. This is the feeling of America in chapter books. The sort of place you can get a scoop of ice cream and walk through the center of town. Tin plating and home made signs. A sense that one can go exploring or just hang around at the school. Your mother’s school. The old playground equipment still there.

A field of wildflowers at the end of the street to run through, and a fear of touching them because I internalised my mother telling me that queen Anne’s lace is toxic (something she probably never said in the first place, but as a child my hearing was selective).

The sea foam carpet and the toys that the generation before me played with. That I latched onto with a fervent love and now with regret for not taking. The too-steep stairs and the attic crawl space I claimed and the bathroom with the large duck that I kept, but it’s not the same.

I can’t keep the feeling of that house. The feeling that I’m walking through my mother’s past. The comfort that brings, that this is safe because it is in my blood.

At night trying to fall asleep with the window open and the breeze blowing through the lace curtains, hearing a train as loud as if it were right outside my window even when I could never find any tracks, I felt like I was nowhere. A magical place that was outside of time and space.

I regret so much that my child self couldn’t connect with that set of grandparents, and that they were gone before I could really understand what it means to relate to adults.

What am I supposed to do with this nostalgia, blossoming in my stomach a bittersweet flower?

My other grandparents are still here, but there is nostalgia.

Summer at the beach (I didn’t know then that it was just a dirty creek, I thought it as majestic as the ocean). The setting sun over a church carnival. Brick walls and hanging plants and rugs I assume are heirlooms with their complicated patterns.

I can still visit that house, but the feelings are for how it was. For ping pong tournaments in the basement that made my small family feel larger, for watching Red Green as my feet dangle from a bed I have to climb like a monkey to get onto. If my small town grandparents feel like the stuff of chapter books, my city grandparents feel like picture books. Everything picture perfect and illustrated, although with no mystery to solve.

What am I supposed to do? How do I explain that the memories of putting the uncooked spaghetti in the nativity shepherd’s hand — because his staff had long ago broke — now play in my mind with an indescribable longing? How do I share the feeling of remembering sharing apple fritters with my grandpa on a Sunday? It feels impossible that this memory will only ever mean so much to me and me alone.

Nostalgia is such a useless thing. I do not need this longing. I do not need to be consumed with it. Are humans so full of love to give that we must use some of it on useless things like this?

[headcanonsforcarscharacters]

I’m typing this with shaky hands so I apologize in advance for any misspellings

I JUST SAW THE CARS ON THE ROAD TRAILER!!

SPOILERS BELOW!!!!

Did Mater get rid of his rockets 😭

I can already tell the animation is a bit different from what the movies (and even Mater’s Tall Tales) were like.

Mater has a sister! I wonder what she looks like!

They’re going east, which is what I guessed. (Woo go me!) But where east? Florida? New York?

I’m excited to know what the wedding will be like! I know we saw Stanley & Lizzie’s wedding in one of the Tall Tales but I’m hoping this gives more details

How long are each of the episodes?

Why did McQueen go with Mater 🤔

McQueen looks the most like himself for some reason. His actions, I mean, not his appearance

Okay looking at the little bits of things Mater and McQueen are doing, we have “the worlds largest bolt” which I’m sure is referencing something but I don’t know what? If you have any ideas please tell me

The symbol of the president (eagle holding two olive branches in its talons) is not an eagle this time. It’s a car with wings. But it’s still holding the olive branches

There’s some kind of horror movie going on? At least, that’s what it looks like. There’s a creepy, graveyard-looking set with lights and other items seen on set

I see a forklift with what I believe to be a laptop. An Apple laptop. Which we know is canon because of the Apple/Steve Jobs race car in the first Cars. So the cars are as advanced as humans, then? Fascinating…

In the tiny flash where there’s a dinosaur, Mater and McQueen are wearing some sort of disguises? They still look like themselves though. Mater is wearing all brown with a massive hook and McQueen is just… red with a weird-looking, red hat

From the same picture as above, there is an active volcano. As far as I know, there are no active volcanos from Arizona (Radiator Springs) to the east coast. Is this for a movie, perhaps? Cars-style Jurassic Park

THE DINOS HAVE TINY HANDS!! Wheels, technically. But they’re so TINY!!!

“With just the tiniest little taste of death”. Love that for them

Green smoke coming out of a car. Slightly worrisome

Creepy-looking hallway. Although it does seem fancy enough to be in the building where a wedding were to take place. See where I’m going with this?

I think Mater is going to bawl when he is at his sister’s wedding

The green-smoke car appears to wear some kind of head covering

She (he?) has a gap in her teeth… Mater’s sister, perhaps? I mean, it would explain the wedding-style hallway…

OH!! Mater says “oh dear mother” which actually shifts my theory. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the green-smoke car is Mater’s mother

Another small town that is not Radiator Springs.

I see “Kohut Spare Parts” in the background. And a forklift? who might work there.

Mater making patterns in the dirt :) He’s pretty good at it too!!

They went to a circus! Nothing much to add here. It’s just… a cirus

NINE EPISODES!! Nine!! I get to see my babies again ❤️

Okay but how long are the episodes?

Trucks in bright, colorful lighting? Reminds me of a concert

Is Mater going to sing? I want a musical number now 😤

OH MY GOD ITS PETERBILL!!

Mossy monster truck :)

I can’t place her accent but it kind of sounds like how people in the Midwest speak given the forest, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were in the Midwest

“Woah! Look at you!” Sounds familiar… End of Cars 3 I believe

The up-and-down look McQueen gives when Mater comes out of the wash 😂

“Can’t mess with perfection”. YES he is perfect

I love his headlights

THE SEMIS LOOK LIKE THEY’RE SINGING!! PLEASE PIXAR GIVE US A MUSICAL NUMBER

Karate car? Beating up older cars with bad teeth! Sounds about right—

I want Finn and Holley to be in this so much :’(

Upside down traffic cone? With some campfires around it. It’s a campsite for sure, but where? Looks like a desert

THUNDER HALLOW 2.0???

I want to see Miss Fritter again too

Do they have a “leader” or demolition derbies there?

Still looks kinda like a desert

Why do they all look so angry?

Actually I know why. Forget I asked that

Driving around the campfire? Interesting…

”Points for pageantry” made me laugh

The more I watch this the more irritated I become with how they don’t follow the rules of the road. Like, at all.

Do the cars in the Cars universe not have the same road rules as us?

Mater and the bug 👍

Looks like he’s having a staring contest with someone

Oww the bug landed in his eye. That hurts

The colorful lights are back

I still think there might be a musical number…

THE SEMIS!!

Mater is… sinking?

Oh yeah that looks like a musical number for sure

See the weird falling motion and then he falls into some neon realm? That’s obviously not real. But the semis still look like they’re singing…

Running on open field. Not grass, might I add. Just dirt. How much you wanna bet McQueen was asked to join a race?

“This is not what I expected” only proves my point further

Orange-coded cars with fire and what appears to be weapons charging forward

Grey cars, also with weapons

IS THAT CRUZ?! IT BETTER BE!

The metal rod has purple electricity running between the two ends? Reminds me of something but I can’t remember what

Ooh a saw

Ooh spikes!!

THUNDER HALLOW 3???

But there doesn’t seem to be anyone behind them so maybe it’s just the two of them

Mater has new rockets 😔

And a hood!

“Woah” is right, McQueen!! He’s faster than you now, old man

Okay but seriously, my man is going like 300 MPH at LEAST

The DUST!

Wouldn’t that be hard on his eyes? Because we know they can feel things in their eyes (the bug landing in Mater’s eye)

He’s clearly not used to going that fast

Okay hang on… I’m getting flashbacks to the Tall Tales episode when Mater “became” a plane

He’s even breaking like he did in Tall Tales!

”Fly away, [Mater]! Be free”

The Dino is chasing them and they both look genuinely afraid

Maybe it isn’t part of the movie?

Are dinosaurs canon in the Cars universe?!

They do, indeed, have terrible costumes on. I want to know why

Ghost cars coming from pictures…

McQueen looks more confused than terrified. I think he’s seen enough during the events of Cars 2 that he isn’t surprised by anything at this point

McQueen is being forced to dance and I find that hilarious

Many ghost cars!

I just got really sad because I thought “what if Doc is there 😃?” and then I realized

Mater is swinging his hook like a madman. Someone is going to get hurt

Monster truck show!! And with mossy truck from earlier! Although she isn’t mossy anymore

She (I think they’re a she, I apologize if not) reminds me of Cruz

Closeup of Mater’s eye

WOAH his pupils got small.

The weird rocks that nobody knows the meaning of! (At least I don’t)

WEIRD ROCKS HAVE CARS ON TOP OF THEM!!

I’ll be willing to bet that Mater knocked them over

… callback to Radiator Springs 500 1/2? The goggles and everything!

Will we see the 4 cars from the Radiator Springs 1/2 as well?

“I’ve got you, buddy!” would be much more comforting given they were in a different situation

[thesadboisguidetolife]

The handsome @death-stranded and the gorgeous @exit-pursuedbyabear tagged me to answer some Get To Know You questions. Now, i know i did it a couple of days ago, but its come full circle so some of these answers have definitely changed haha

Favorite color: this ones definitely always gonna always be Blue haha. Though black is a very close second because (clothing wise) is super chic and goes well with almost any other color or pattern.

Currently reading: Making progress on Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine. Honestly though, i highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a boost of assurance that its ok to break social gender norms. Theyre dumb and made up and you should feel confident in being who you are because youre all beautiful amazing people with flaws and strengths and we're all just tryin to get by.

Last song: Yo Perreo Sola by Bad Bunny because ive been in a certain.........mood haha

Last Movie: The Sandlot haha needed something comforting

Last series: I feel like i should be more embarrassed by this but UNHhhh haha something about two people enjoying each others company and laughing that i love

Sweet, savory, or spicy: Currently its been sweet. 🤤🤤🤤

Craving: Apple fritters, camping, cuddles haha

Tea or Coffee: Bofa haha honestly, an iced coffee sounds good right now, but so does a cinnamon ginger tea for my tum tum

Currently working on: Music!!! Ive made up my mind that im starting a Queer punk rock band. Also, working on a small podcast on Ancient Queer History/Mythology sooooo lots of stuff haha.

Im gonna skip tagging people since i tagged a bunch last time haha. But ill definitely tag more people in the next one.

[thesweetblossoms]

21 Attempts At Joy While Sheltering In Place 🌴

1)Using quarantine as an excuse to buy treats such as an apple fritter donut in the morning, to sip with dark, rich French pressed coffee. For even if we must linger at home, we should have something delectable, enticing and slightly guilt inducing, to look forward to each morning.

2) Reading and hoarding more books than usual, such as “A Little Life” by Hanya Yanigihara and “Daisy Jones and The Six” by Taylor Jenkins Reid.

3) Becoming deeply and irreversibly addicted to the hot water bottle, blanket, tea, dark chocolate and candlelight routine at 9pm.

4) Creating endless bouquets from my petite balcony garden in the mornings and painting the flowers in the afternoons.

5) Practicing belly dance at dusk and calligraphy under the stars.

6) Attempting new recipes and cuisines such as Spanish paella, Indonesia satay chicken and Persian Tahdig and kababs.

7) Practicing yoga and meditation, throughout the day to clear my mind of uncertainties, anxieties and worries.

8) Hanging out with old friends from work, high school, college and law school through zoom and houseparty.

9) Making lists of new things to try, such as the #mettwinning challenge and replicating a Modigliani painting, or creating cyanotypes of poppies, violas and cosmos in my garden.

10) Buying the non negotiable, such as a jasmine plant, watercolor papers, books, tealight candles and palo santo.

11) Random breaks throughout the day to indulge in beauty rituals such as a citrus face mask, coconut oil massage, brightly hued pedicure, a cat eye look or a braided crown.

12) Finding reasons to fall in love more, for being vulnerable and taking risks leads to a richer experience of life, despite the tears that may follow.

13) Being more perceptive to the pain, despair and suffering around me and attempting to try to change the systems, through technology, laws and policies.

14) Wearing a high top knot in my hair everyday, like a ballerina.

15) Listening to varied playlists of music, from bossa nova, classical piano, dance, sitar and French songs.

16) Experimenting with the healing herbs and plants in my pantry and garden, such as turmeric, ginger, violas, borage, chamomile and California poppies.

17) Foraging for plants that grow near me such as desert wildflowers, creosote and eucalyptus.

18) Discovering new, intriguing hobbies, such as making Islamic geometry patterns, or floral arranging videos.

19) Being grateful that I had decided to create a space filled with books, art, paintings, plants, Persian carpets and candles, for they now alleviate the pain of the lock down.

20) Knowing some days it’s ok to swim harder and other days, it’s permissible to float along gently.

21) Being grateful that my children and I are safe for now.

[burlybanner]

Merge (ScienceBrosWeek2019)

Summary: Some secrets are better left unsaid - and some are better cracked wide open Disclaimer: This is different from my usual style and I’m not sure where this story is going. So I’m not sure when I’ll continue. But keep me honest; it’ll happen eventually.

Disclaimer deux: I struggled with getting chapter the way I wanted, and the theme fought me tooth and nail. But it is what it is, and I don’t want to get too far behind. So - read at your own risk!

Unbeta’d.

Reference: Dust(1), Drip(2), Bitter(3)

**

Bruce woke, remembering precisely why he didn’t like drinking with Tony. He vowed this time (why was there always a “this time”) to leave the whisky on its designated shelf where it belonged. He squinted and rubbed his thumb and forefinger beneath his eyes, still feeling the heaviness of his mind and limbs with Tony’s body draped around him.

“You awake?”

Bruce grunted. “Yeah. I guess.”

“What do you want?”

“Aspirin, coffee, and donuts.” Not that he expected the donuts. But still. He’d seen them yesterday and couldn’t get them out of his mind. 

“Side table. Check the drawers.” Tony yawned and rolled off of Bruce like a cat. Bruce glanced over, watching Tony tap his wrist twice, then his jaw. “Hey. Who’s on the donut run today?” Pause.  “Really?” Another pause. Two gestures on his wrist. “Can you grab a dozen sorted for me and bring ‘em down?” Pause. “But if you don’t w--” Long, long pause. “Okay, okay. See you.”

Jaw tap.

Bruce stared at him, hand hovering between the table and the bed. “What was that?”

Tony smirked, tapped his wrist and middle knuckle. “SIberNet. Spelled SI, for Stark Industries. The evolution of telecom patented by yours truly.”

He continued staring. “You fucking scare me.”

“I’ve always scared you. But then, we have a mutual scare pact.”

Bruce pursed his lips and conceded Tony’s point. He found Ibuprofen and bottled water in the side table, then palmed two tablets and scowled at Tony before quaffing half the water. “I bet they’re all connected to SINet, or whatever you’re calling it.”

“SIberNet. Everyone’s connected, but not everyone has access to all functions. Just the higher ups.”

Bruce finished his water and shook his head. “But of course you have access to everything.”

“More or less.”

“Emphasis on the more?”

Tony smiled.

Bruce sighed heavily and felt a stronger ache in his bones. “I’m gonna go take a piss,” he muttered. His head hurt, partly from the hangover. “Grab some coffee. Maybe take a shower.”

“Make it fast, donuts’ll be here in less than ten.”

To his credit he barely tripped from the bed. Even now, in the light of day (was there sun? How did they survive without the sun) the puzzle seemed unsolvable. Too many pieces were missing and until he felt warm, clean, and headache-free Bruce didn’t expect many answers from Tony, or his own sluggish psyche.

But donuts would definitely help.

Tony gestured to Bruce’s clothes. “Wanna put something on?”

“What for?” Was his body that repulsive, that Tony couldn’t bear the sight of him sober--? “You’ve seen me naked. I’ll grab a towel after I shower.”

Tony’s face softened, revealing too much vulnerability. But Bruce’s hangover was having nothing to do with introspection. Not this early in the day. 

“Birthday suit yourself, Brucie.”

Bruce rolled his eyes and shuffled from the room.

His mind calmed after leaving Tony’s bedroom. It wasn’t horrible sleeping with him but Bruce wanted more, so it heightened his anxiety. Luckily he didn’t need to feel anything in the front room and his mind could blunt its sharp edges. 

Bruce shuffled to Tony’s window and its great view; also luckily, Tony hadn’t bothered shutting the curtain the night before. He felt like Alice in Wonderland - like he was still dreaming. But Bruce’s mind was not savvy enough to conjure waterfalls, slick mossy crags, and winding jungle vines. His mind wasn’t nearly quiet enough to recreate this joy. 

Bruce placed a hand on the glass and briefly shut his eyes. The hum of the cave filled him but so did the urgent need to piss. His physical body forced him to leave Eden behind, to relieve himself. 

While pissing his mind roved over Tony’s opulent bathroom, top of the line of course. He glared at Tony’s walk-in shower with the perfect, pristine jets and high level stonework. He knew he said he’d shower but he needed to ground himself more, and...no. Peace first. The shower simply reminded him of the future and he needed more of now’s peace.

He left the bathroom with the sole intent of making coffee and staring into perfection. Tony would either join him, or wait, it wouldn’t matter. He just...needed this. Right now.

“Tell me when, I’ll show you around.”

Bruce squawked, visibly jumping after hearing a not-Tony voice in the corner. How long had he been there, sitting, not staring at Bruce at all? Quiet, proud, and waiting. Calmly staring into the abyss. Lost in his own mind’s prison.

“Hey, Bruce.”

“Jesus - you motherfucker - you...” Bruce closed his eyes, put a shaky hand to his chest. “You know better than that. You know.”

“Yeah, well. Guess I figured you’d notice.” James Rhodes chuckled, folded his hands over the handle of his cane. Bruce’s eyes drew to the ornate pattern of the platinum handle, a twisty network of vines and fauna drawn down into an obsidian shaft. He thought if Rhodes were a Disney villain, that this would be the cane for him. But he shot the image from his mind. No Disney villain would be as classy.

“Maybe I would’ve, if I weren’t so hungover.” A chill reminded him of how very under-dressed he was, and he finally understood Tony’s vague question, regarding his clothes. 

He hated how nervous he felt.

“It’s been a while, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Rhodey used his cane to push up from his chair, slowly limping his way to join him. Bruce frowned, eyes instinctively shifting to the rhythm of Rhodey’s shuffle. Rhodey’d either just finished his morning exercises or his other leg had been overcompensating, due to the prosthetic. Bruce wondered, absently, when the last time Rhodey had seen an orthopedist. 

“Kinda makes sense Tony has the best view.”

Bruce took a second to drink Rhodey in before sharing the pristine outskirts with him. A dark chuckle died in Bruce’s throat. “It wouldn’t be Tony otherwise.”

“Heh. True.”

His fingers slowly stroked the glass but he didn’t have the strength to stare at Rhodey directly. Instead Bruce watched the other man’s reflection, as Rhodey’s reflection watched him. “I’m sorry,” Bruce said, unable to find anything better to say.

Rhodey nodded. He shifted his stance as his left hand massaged his cane’s handle. “Nothing to be sorry about, really. It happened. We happened. Other things happened to us. It’s life, man.”

“Still.” Softly, tentatively. He reached out and gently placed his hand on Rhodey’s. Bruce felt tendons jump, then relax. The ground they shared was uneven at best but not broken; Bruce felt some relief in that. 

“It wasn’t fair. I...I ignored you. Didn’t know how to talk to you. Twenty years of friendship, and I--”

“Thirty.”

“Pardon?”

Rhodey’s expression turned wistful and he stared at the carpet. “You...always forget to include your fugitive years, Bruce. You’ve known me and Tones for over thirty, not twenty. But I get it. Happens to POWs a lot.”

Bruce’s face fell and he blinked once, twice, rapidly. He felt his mind shift but he forced his expression to remain neutral. “Oh. You’re right. Of course.”

Then Rhodey reached for him, and Bruce couldn’t tell if it were from pity or love but both equally soured his stomach. “You wanna sit?”

“Sure.”

Bruce sat at the place he’d been the night before, feeling painfully naked and cold. 

“Here.” A cup of coffee was pressed into his hands and an apple fritter suddenly appeared within easy reach. 

“Thanks.” Bruce took a sip of the coffee and a large bite of the donut. A small smile curled his lips. “You remembered.”

“How could I forget? Six sugars, a tablespoon of cream, and a bunch of donuts. Every Saturday for years. It was your go-to breakfast.”

“Go-to hangover breakfast.”

Rhodey snorted. “Well. We didn’t do Friday nights halfway.”

“No,” Bruce sighed. He slouched deeper in the chair, letting his toes curl into the carpet. “We didn’t.” The silence lingered but Bruce didn’t feel pressured to fill it. Rhodey grabbed his own cup of coffee and filled their silent space with little posh sips, while they enjoyed watching the cave’s waterfall. 

“Did Tony tell you about the clouds?”

“What? Out there?” Rhodey nodded. “You’re joking.”

“Nah, I’m serious.” Rhodey smiled and drained his coffee cup. “More like condensation, though. The atmosphere builds up and makes its own clouds. Gets so humid, it feels like a misty rain. Pretty incredible.”

Bruce shook his head, enjoying their easy conversation. He didn’t...he honestly didn’t believe they could return to this. They’d barely spoken for five years. Really ten, since when he got back he’d been too mentally unstable and...well. 

Things.

“I tried.”

Bruce finished his fritter and found the donut box. He poked his finger around the stacks until he found a jelly filled one. “Tried what?”

“Finding you.”

He’d just bit into the thing when Rhodey dropped him into the painful present. The jelly soured in his mouth but he finished chewing it. Swallowing felt like swallowing marbles of sand. “It...ah. You couldn’t. It wasn’t. It--” Bruce tried again. “There weren’t any drones, like we have now. Facial recognition software was shit back then. And I was really good at hiding.”

“But I found Tony. I should’ve found you. I’m...sorry I couldn’t.”

Bruce shook his head like an animal shaking off a collar. “No, don’t. It��s not--”

“No. Remember it wasn’t just you and Tony, and me and Tony. It was me and you, too.”

He couldn’t say anything to counter because it’d just make it worse. Sadness threatened to overwhelm Bruce but he hid it by taking another bite of donut. He had to spin it, though.  “Can’t really change the past,” he said, mouth full of jelly. “We both got hit hard, y’know? It changed all of us. Everything did. We changed.”

Rhodey nodded. “We did. If we hadn’t, you would’ve known about this place when I did. You would’ve been a part of it.”

Sighing heavily, he ran a hand over his rough skin. He needed a shave, badly. “I don’t know, Rhodey. I don’t...this is too much. All of it. I don’t know what it is, but now I’m culpable. What--what’s the end goal really? What’s the purpose? What’s my purpose?”

“Well,” Rhodey sighed. He cocked his head, peering at Bruce. “It’s always been the three of us, you know that. If one of us doesn’t make it, it doesn’t work. It would’ve never worked without you. Tony’s mind would’ve been worried. I would’ve worried. We had to have a consensus.”

“Merging of the minds?”

Rhodey shrugged. “If it makes you feel better.”

“I haven’t said yes.”

“Haven’t said no either.”

Bruce finished his donut, allowing it to settle the fear building in his stomach. “But if I do? If I walk away?”

“Nothing will happen. But I imagine we’d get shut down in a few years or we’d move up our time table. Either scenario’d probably hurt us.”

“I...shit. Rhodey, I need to know. I can’t make any decisions without knowing the big picture.”

“You willing to hear it all out, Bruce? From start to finish, without bolting?”

“What choice do I have?”

“Fair.”

“I mean...” Bruce grabbed another donut. A cruller. “Tony wouldn’t’ve dragged me out here on the guise of a two week business trip without good reason. I’d like to hear out this fucking grand plan. Besides I’m guessin’ it’s already in place. It’s just...hovering. Waiting on me to--what? Agree?”

“Probably.”

“And that’s what I’m afraid of.” He peered at Rhodey and swallowed uncomfortably. “So level with me, then. Are...are we the heroes? Or...the villains?”

Rhodey shrugged. “To be determined, I guess. You know as well as I that history’s written by the survivors.”

“ ‘You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.’ “

But Rhodey didn’t respond and Bruce followed his gaze back to the cave. They’d lobbed that phrase at each other for years, laughed at it, used it as a barb whenever one of them messed up in a major way. But it never seemed more apt, than now.

Bruce sighed. “I’m going to take that shower now.”

“Mm.”

The rest of the day would probably break him, but he was used to being broken.

[traveling-couch-potato]

Puerto Rico Day 8

First day in San Juan and my favorite way to get to know a new city is of course through food! We started our day with the Flavors of San Juan Food & Culture Tours with the most lovely guide in the world, Carmen. 

First stop of the morning was Cuatro Sombras for breakfast. We started with a black forest ham, provolone, guava butter croissant sandwich and a cortado with their house beans. The beans are grown on their own plantation under shades so the beans have more time to ripen which allows them to develop the natural sweetness profile. The acidity is so rounded and creamy while remaining light on the tongue. It had light cocoa undertones and was the perfect way to start the morning especially with the flaky, buttery breakfast sandwich.

Stop number 2 was Señor Paleta for some housemade strawberry and lemon popsicles. The popsicle texture was so perfect with the lattices all in a uniform pattern creating a clean, crisp break like biting an apple. It was refreshing and acidic, tart but not puckering. We enjoyed our popsicles with a gorgeous view over the city.

We took a break from our food adventures winded through the city passing through several local shops, the Cathedral of San Juan Bautista, Fortaleza Street, La Casa Estrecha, and Plaza de Armas, and more.

The plaza was swarming with pigeons and a gentleman gave me a handful of seeds to feed them with.

Eventually we ended back at Stop #3 Café El Punto where we got an amazing beef alcapurria. The exterior is made of yuca and green plantains so it’s completely gluten free and has almost a fried mochi-like texture. This was paired with their house pique sauce (classic Puerto Rican hot sauce made w/ vinegar an Aji Caballero). It was a low but consistent burn that added a bright zing to the alcapurria. Next up was a spoonful of grouper ceviche. Nice and tender, mellow acidity, plenty of herbs. Also fun fact I learned during our stop trash in Puerto Rico isn’t referred to as “Basura” like in most other Spanish speaking countries but rather ��zafacon” because when the US started bringing trash cans they said “Save-a-Can” on them and people didn’t realize what that meant. Most like a legend but still a fun story. 

I was already so full but we were just hitting our main course at Cafe del Angel where we were greeted with a mojito and a plate of mofongo. The mojito made the day just a bit better. According to Carmen mint, lime, and rum are good for the throat so a mojito is the perfect solution. As we all waited for our food we did a nice loud CHEERS, or as they say here “salud, amor, y, pesetas!” By the time the mofongo came I was really stuffed. The mofongo was not shy with the garlic and butter but was otherwise rather bland. The chicken was a bit overcooked and the sauce just wasn’t viscous or flavorful enough to save the mofongo. Rice was good though the beans were nothing special compared to what I’ve had throughout this trip. A bit disappointed but I did have a fun time mashing my own mofongo with a mortar and pestle. We also got round 2 of pique sauce. This time with some mango in it. The added sweetness offset the heat even more. And of course we got a container of MayoKetchup to drown our plantains in because plantains w/ Mayo/Ketchup/Garlic is a thing here and I’m not mad about it.

I’m glad I didn’t finish my last meal because our last stop was what I’ve been waiting for, dessert at Chocobar Cortés. We were seated in the back and presented with a plate with chocolate pieces, a slice of mild cheddar, and some chocolate chips on top. We also received a small dixie cup of hot chocolate, and a very hot freshly made churro. Apparently due to the desperate food conditions, Puerto Ricans discovered the combination of cheese and chocolate and while it’s more refined nowadays, the combo is still a thing. We drop the cheese in the hot chocolate and scoop up the goopy cheese/chocolate combination up and enjoy a salty/sweet/creamy dip for our churros and I honestly really enjoyed it. Is it better than plain hot chocolate? Not sure... The chocolate bar itself was a milk chocolate, not too sweet, and had a lovely poppy type crunch to it. I honestly wanted to buy more but I left so full I couldn’t even think of eating another bite.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now that we were full of calories, it was time to work it all off. We headed east to the Castillo San Cristóbal. With the government shutdown the parks were free and being manned by some very kind rangers and words can’t express how grateful I am to these people for still working. The grounds were massive and had wonderful views of the city. We spent a decent 2 hours roaming around and spamming photos left and right.

After we finished we followed the designated sidewalk all the way to Castillo San Felipe del Morro where we continued with our San Juan history lessons. This castle is smaller in acreage but many more stories which mean lots and lots of climbing, weaving, and more climbing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was definitely worn out by this point and more than ready for dinner but we decided to wander the streets to see how the pre-festivities were going. Old San Juan was already crowded so I can’t imagine the streets tomorrow. We made some detours to random cultural centers, hotels, and more, but eventually found ourselves on the correct path of Paseo de La Princesa to our dinner spot Princesa Gastrobar. Dinner was decent. I started with Almojábanas with Serrano and Manchego in a Guava, Papaya, Mint Sauce. They were very similar to the cheese fritters from yesterday but with a creamy/less structural bite on the inside and much sharper cheese flavors. For my entree I got Los Isleños which was jumbo shrimp in a creamy cilantro sweet pepper sauce and topped w/ smoked cheese and served w/ tostones. This dish was just too salty and plain for me. I couldn’t finish more than half.

Gorgeous restaurant with some hit or miss food. Still glad we came by though!

I was so happy that our Uber driver was able to pick us up directly from the restaurant. I just wanted to come back to this room and relax. Still in the process of kicking this cold. Overall great day! A bit nervous for the festival but tomorrow should be exciting.

[newstfionline]

Finding It Hard to Focus? Maybe It’s Not Your Fault

By Casey Schwartz, NY Times, Aug. 14, 2018

It was the big tech equivalent of “drink responsibly” or the gambling industry’s “safer play”; the latest milestone in Silicon Valley’s year of apology. Earlier this month, Facebook and Instagram announced new tools for users to set time limits on their platforms, and a dashboard to monitor one’s daily use, following Google’s introduction of Digital Well Being features.

In doing so the companies seemed to suggest that spending time on the internet is not a desirable, healthy habit, but a pleasurable vice: one that if left uncontrolled may slip into unappealing addiction.

Having secured our attention more completely than ever dreamed, they now are carefully admitting it’s time to give some of it back, so we can meet our children’s eyes unfiltered by Clarendon or Lark; go see a movie in a theater; or contra Apple’s ad for its watch, even go surfing without--heaven forfend--“checking in.”

“The liberation of human attention may be the defining moral and political struggle of our time,” writes James Williams, a technologist turned philosopher and the author of a new book, “Stand Out of Our Light.”

Mr. Williams, 36, should know. During a decade-long tenure at Google, he worked on search advertising, helping perfect a powerful, data-driven advertising model. Gradually, he began to feel that his life story as he knew it was coming unglued, “as though the floor was crumbling under my feet,” he writes.

Mr. Williams compares the current design of our technology to “an entire army of jets and tanks” aimed at capturing and keeping our attention. And the army is winning. We spend the day transfixed by our screens, thumb twitching in the subways and elevators, glancing at traffic lights.

We flaunt and then regret the habit of so-called second screening, when just one at a time isn’t enough, scrolling through our phones’ latest dispatches while watching TV, say.

One study, commissioned by Nokia, found that, as of 2013, we were checking our phones on average 150 times a day. But we touch our phones about 2,617 times, according to a separate 2016 study, conducted by Dscout, a research firm.

Apple has confirmed that users unlock their iPhones an average of 80 times per day. Screens have been inserted where no screens ever were before: over individual tables at McDonald’s; in dressing rooms when one is most exposed; on the backs of taxi seats. For only $12.99, one can purchase an iPhone holster for one’s baby stroller … or (shudder) two.

This is us: eyes glazed, mouth open, neck crooked, trapped in dopamine loops and filter bubbles. Our attention is sold to advertisers, along with our data, and handed back to us tattered and piecemeal.

Mr. Williams, 36, was speaking on Skype from his home in Moscow, where his wife, who works for the United Nations, has been posted for the year.

Originally from Abilene, Tex., he had arrived to work at Google in what could still be called the early days, when the company, in its idealism, was resistant to the age-old advertising model. He left Google in 2013 to conduct doctoral research at Oxford on the philosophy and ethics of attention persuasion in design.

Mr. Williams is now concerned with overwired individuals losing their life purpose.

“In the same way that you pull out a phone to do something and you get distracted, and 30 minutes later you find that you’ve done 10 other things except the thing that you pulled out the phone to do--there’s fragmentation and distraction at that level,” he said. “But I felt like there’s something on a longer-term level that’s harder to keep in view: that longitudinal sense of what you’re about.”

He knew that among that his colleagues, he wasn’t the only one feeling this way. Speaking at a technology conference in Amsterdam last year, Mr. Williams asked the designers in the room, some 250 of them, “How many of you guys want to live in the world that you’re creating? In a world where technology is competing for our attention?”

“Not a single hand went up,” he said.

Mr. Williams is also far from the only example of a former soldier of big tech (to continue the army metaphor) now working to expose its cultural dangers.

In late June, Tristan Harris, a former design ethicist for Google, took the stage at the Aspen Ideas Festival to warn the crowd that what we are facing is no less than an “existential threat” from our very own gadgets.

Red-haired and slight, Mr. Harris, 34, has been playing the role of whistle-blower since he quit Google five years ago. He started the Center for Humane Technology in San Francisco and travels the country, appearing on influential shows and podcasts like “60 Minutes” and “Waking Up,” as well as at glamorous conferences like Aspen, to describe how technology is designed to be irresistible.

He likes a chess analogy. When Facebook or Google points their “supercomputers” toward our minds, he said, “it’s checkmate.”

Back in the more innocent days of 2013, when Mr. Williams and Mr. Harris both still worked at Google, they’d meet in conference rooms and sketch out their thoughts on whiteboards: a concerned club of two at the epicenter of the attention economy.

Since then, both men’s messages have grown in scope and urgency. The constant pull on our attention from technology is no longer just about losing too many hours of our so-called real lives to the diversions of the web. Now, they are telling us, we are at risk of fundamentally losing our moral purpose.

“It’s changing our ability to make sense of what’s true, so we have less and less idea of a shared fabric of truth, of a shared narrative that we all subscribe to,” Mr. Harris said, the day after his Aspen talk. “Without shared truth or shared facts, you get chaos--and people can take control.”

They can also profit, of course, in ways large and small. Indeed, a whole industry has sprung up to combat tech creep. Once-free pleasures like napping are now being monetized by the hour. Those who used to relax with monthly magazines now download guided-meditation apps like Headspace ($399.99 for a lifetime subscription).

HabitLab, developed at Stanford, stages aggressive interventions whenever you enter one of your self-declared danger zones of internet consumption. Having a problem with Reddit sucking away your afternoons? Choose between the “one-minute assassin,” which puts you on a strict 60-second egg timer, and the “scroll freezer,” which creates a bottom in your bottomless scroll--and logs you out once you’ve hit it.

Like Moment, an app that monitors screen time and sends you or loved ones embarrassing notifications detailing exactly how much time has been frittered away on Instagram today, HabitLab gets to know your patterns uncomfortably well in order to do its job. Apparently, we now need our phones to save us from our phones.

Researchers have known for years that there’s a difference between “top-down” attention (the voluntary, effortful decisions we make to pay attention to something of our choice) and “bottom-up” attention, which is when our attention is involuntarily captured by whatever is going on around us: a thunderclap, gunshot or merely the inviting bleep that announces another Twitter notification.

But many of the biggest questions remain unanswered. At the top of that list, no smaller a mystery remains than “the relationship between attention and our conscious experience of the world,” said Jesse Rissman, a neuroscientist whose lab at U.C.L.A. studies attention and memory.

Also unclear: the consequence of all that screen time on our bedraggled neurons. “We don’t understand how modern technology and changes in our culture impact our ability to sustain our attention on our goals,” Dr. Rissman said.

Britt Anderson, a neuroscientist at the University of Waterloo in Canada, went so far as to write a 2011 paper titled “There Is No Such Thing as Attention.”

Dr. Anderson argued that researchers have used the word to apply to so many different behaviors--attention span, attention deficit, selective attention and spatial attention, to name a few--that it has become essentially meaningless, even at the very moment when it’s more relevant than ever.

Despite attention’s possible lack of existence, though, many among us mourn its passing.

Katherine Hayles, an English professor at U.C.L.A., has written about the change she sees in students as one from “deep attention,” a state of single-minded absorption that can last for hours, to one of “hyper attention,” which jumps from target to target, preferring to skim the surface of lots of different things than to probe the depths of just one.

At Columbia University, where every student is required to pass a core curriculum with an average of 200 to 300 pages of reading each week, professors have been discussing how to deal with the conspicuous change in students’ ability to get through their assignments. The curriculum has more or less stayed in place, but “we’re constantly thinking about how we’re teaching when attention spans have changed since 50 years ago,” said Lisa Hollibaugh, a dean of academic planning at Columbia.

In the 1990s, 3 to 5 percent of American school-aged children were thought to have what is now called attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. By 2013, that number was 11 percent, and rising, according to data from the National Survey of Children’s Health.

At Tufts University, Nick Seaver, an anthropology professor, just finished his second year of teaching a class he designed called How to Pay Attention. But rather than offering tips for focusing, as one might expect, he set out to train his students to look at attention as a cultural phenomenon--“the way people talk about attention,” Dr. Seaver said, with topics like the “attention economy” or “attention and politics.”

As part of their homework for the “economy” week, Dr. Seaver told his students to analyze how an app or website “captures” their attention and then profits from it.

Morgan Griffiths, 22, chose YouTube. “A lot of the media I consume has to do with ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race,’” Mr. Griffiths said. “And when a lot of those videos end, RuPaul himself pops up at the very end and says, ‘Hey friends, when one video ends, just open the next one, it’s called binge viewing, go ahead, I encourage you.’”

A classmate, Jake Rochford, who chose Tinder, noted the extreme stickiness of a new “super-like” button. “Once the super-like button came into play, I noticed all of the functions as strategies for keeping the app open, instead of strategies for helping me find love,�� Mr. Rochford, 21, said. After completing that week’s assignment, he disabled his account.

But Dr. Seaver, 32, is no Luddite.

“Information overload is something that always feels very new but is actually very old,” he said. “Like: ‘It is the 16th century, and there are so many books.’ Or: ‘It is late antiquity and there is so much writing.’

“It can’t be that there are too many things to pay attention to: That doesn’t follow,” he said. “But it could be that there are more things that are trying to actively demand your attention.”

And there is not only the attention we pay to consider, but also the attention we receive.

Sherry Turkle, the M.I.T. sociologist and psychologist, has been writing about our relationship with our technology for decades. Devices that come with us everywhere we go, she argues, introduce a brand new dynamic: Rather than compete with their siblings for their parents’ attention, children are up against iPhones and iPads, Siri and Alexa, Apple watches and computer screens.

Every moment they spend with their parents, they are also spending with their parents’ need to be constantly connected. It is the first generation to be so affected--now 14 to 21 years old--that Dr. Turkle describes in detail in her most recent book, “Reclaiming Conversation.”

“A generation has grown up that has lived a very unsatisfying youth and really does not associate their phones with any kind of glamour, but rather with a sense of deprivation,” she said.

And yet Dr. Turkle is cautiously optimistic. “We’re starting to see people inching their way toward ‘time well spent,’ Apple inching its way toward a mea culpa,” she said. “And the culture itself turning toward a recognition that this can’t go on.”